B2r 3

Loves Adventures.
Play.

The Lord Fatherly.

The Lord Singularity.

His Sonne.

Sir Serious Dumbe.

Sir Timothy Complement.

Sir Humphry Bolde.

Sir Roger Exception.

Sir Peaceable Studious.

Foster Trusty.

The Lady Orphant.

INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that cb is unmatched.

The Lady Ignorant wife to Sir Peaceable
Studious
.

The Lady Bashfull.

The Lady Wagtaile.

The Lady Amorous.

Mrs. Acquaintance.

Nurse HFondly Foster Trusties wife.

Lady Orphans Nurse

Mrs. Reformers woman to the Lady Bashfull.

Two Chamber-Maydes.

Prologue.

Noble Spectators, you are come to see,

A Play, if good, perchance may clapped be;

And yet our Authoresse sayes that she hath heard,

Some playes, though good, hath not been so preferr’d;

As to be mounted up on high raised praise,

And to be Crown’d with Garlands of fresh bayes:

But the contrary have been hissed off,

Out from our Stage with many a censuring scoff;

But afterwards there understanding cleer’d,

They gave the praise, what they before had jeer’d.

The same she sayes may to her Play befall,

And your erroneous censures may recall:

But all such Playes as take not at first sight,

But afterwards the viewers takes delight:

It seemes there is more wit in such a Play,

Than can be understood in one whole day:

If soe, she is well content for her wits sake,

From ignorance repulses for to take;

For she had rather want those understanding braines,

Than that her Play should want wits flowing veynes.

B2 Act I.
B2v 4

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter the Lord Fatherly, and the Lord Singularity his Son.

Lord Singularity

Pray, Sir, do not force me to marry a childe, before
you know whether she will prove vertuous, or discreet; when for the
want of that knowledge, you may indanger the honour of your Line and
Posterity, with Cuckoldry and Bastardry.

Lord Fatherly

Son, you must leave that to fortune.

Lord Singularity

A wise man, Sir, is to be the maker or spoiler of his
own fortune.

Lord Fatherly

Let me tell you Son, the wisest man that is, or ever was, may
be deceived in the choosing a wife, for a woman is more obscure than nature
her self, therefore you must trust to chance, for marriage is a Lottery, if you get
a prize, you may live quietly and happily.

Lord Singularity

But if I light of a blank, as a hundred to one, nay a thousand
to one but I shall, which is on a Fool or a Whore, her Follies or Adulteries,
instead of a praise, will sound out my disgrace.

Lord Fatherly

Come, Come, she is Rich, she is Rich.

Lord Singularity

Why Sir, guilded Horns are most visible.

Lord Fatherly

’Tis better, Son, to have a rich whore than a poor whore, but
I hope Heaven hath made her Chast, and her Father being an honourable,
honest, and wise man, will breed her vertuously, and I make no question but
you will be happy with her.

Lord Singularity

But Sir, pray consider the inequality of our ages, she being
but a Child, and I at mans Estate; by that time she is ready for the marriage
bed: I shall be ready for the grave, and youths sharp appetites, will never
rellish Age, wherefore she will seek to please her pallat else where.

Lord Fatherly

Let me tell you, Son, should you marry a woman that were
as many years older, than she is younger than you; it were a greater hazard,
for first old women are more intemperate than young: and being older than
the husband, they are apt to be jealouse, and being jealouse, they grow malitious,
and malice seeks revenge, and revenge disgrace, therefore she would
Cuckold you meerly to disgrace you.

Lord Singularity

On the other side, those Women that are marryed
young, Cuckholds there Husbands fames dishonouring them by their ignorant
follyes, and Childish indiscretions, as much as with Adultery. And I should
assoon choose to be a Cuckhold, as to be thought to be one: For my honour
will suffer as much by the one as the other, if not more.

Lord Fatherly

Heaven blesse the, Sonne, from jealousy, for thou art horrible
afraid of being a Cuckold.

Lord Singularity

Can you blame me, Sir, since to be a Cuckhold is to be despised,
scorned, laught, and pointed at, as a Monster worse than nature ever
made, and all the Honour that my birth gave me and my education indued me, my C1r 5 my vertue gained me, my industry got me; fortune bestowed on me, and fame
inthron’d me for: may not only be lost by my wifes Adultery, but as I said
by her indiscretion; which makes me wonder, how any man that hath a Noble
Soul, dares marry since all his honour lyes or lives in the light heels of his
wife, which every little passion is apt to kick away, wherefore good Sir, let me
live a single life.

Lord Fatherly

How Son, would you have me consent to extinguish the
light of my Name, and to pull out the root of my posterity.

Lord Singularity

Why Sir, it were better to lye in dark oblivion, than to
have a false light to devulge your disgrace; and you had better pull out the
root, than to have a branch of dishonour ingrafted therein.

Lord Fatherly

All these Arguments against Marriage is, because you would
injoy your Mistresses with freedom; fearing you should be disturbed by a wife.

Lord Singularity

That needs not, for I observe, married Men takes as
much liberty, if not more than Batchellors; for Batchellors are afftraid they
should challenge a promise of Marriage, and married Men are out of that
danger.

Lord Father

Then that is the reason that Batchellors Court Married wives,
and Married Men Courts Maides; but howsoever Son, if all Men should be of
your mind, there would be no Marrying nor giving in Marriage; but all must
be in Common.

Lord Singularity

That were best Sir, for then there could be no Adultery
committed, or Cuckolds made.

Lord Fatherly

For shame take courage, and be not a fraid of a Woman.

Lord Singularity

By Heaven Sir, I would sooner yield up my life to death,
than venture my honour to a womans management.

Lord Father

Well Son, I shall not force you with threates or commands
to marry against your will and good likeing; but I hope Heaven will
turn your mind towards marriage, and sent thee a loving, vertuous and discreet
wife.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lady Wagtaile, the Lady Amorous, Sir Timothy
Compliment
, Sir Humphrey Bold, and Sir
Roger Exception
.

Sir Timothy Compliment

Bright beauty, may I be Servant.

Lady Amorous

If I have any beauty, it was begot in your Eyes. And takes
light from your commendations.

Sir Timothy Compliment

You are Lady, the Starre of your Sex.

Lady Amorous

No truely, I am but a Meteor that soon goeth out.

Lady Wagtaile

Preethy Sir Timothy Compliment, and Lady Amorous, do not
stand prating here, but let us go a broad to some place to devert the time.

Lady Amorous

Dear Wagtaile, whether shall we goe?

Sir Timothy Compliment

Faith let us go to a Play.

Sir Humphrey Bold

Let’s go to a Tavern.

Sir Roger Exception

What with Ladyes!

Sir Humphrey Bold

Why, Ladyes have been in Tavernes before now.

C Sir C1v 6

Sir Roger Exception

It were as good to carry them to a Bawdy-house.

Sir Humphrey Bold

As good say you, faith now I think of it, better; it were
the only place to pass a way idle time. Come Ladyes shall we go.

Lady Amorous

Whether?

Sir Humphrey Bold

To a Bawdy-house.

Lady Amorous

O fye! fye! Sir Humphrey Bold; how wantonly you talk?

Lady Wagtaile

But would you carry us in good earnest to a Bawdy-house?

Sir Humphrey Bold

Why, do you question it, when every house is a secret
Bawdy-house. Na! Let me tell you, there be many Right Worshipfull,
Nay, Right Honourable, and most Noble Pallaces made Bawdy-houses.

Sir Roger Exception

Some perchance that are old and ruinous, and the
right owners out.

Sir Humphrey Bold

No, some that are new, large, and finely furnished; and
the owners stately, proud, scornfull, and jeering, living therein.

Sir Roger Exception

They should take heed of jeering, least they be jeered
and of being scornfull, least they be scorned.

Sir Humphrey Bold

What say you Ladyes, are you resolved.

Lady Wagtaile

No, No, we will not go with you to such places now; but
I will carry you to a young Lady whose Father is newly dead, and hath left
her all his Estate; and she is become a great heir.

Sir Roger Exception

Perchance Lady she will not receive our visit, if her
Father be newly dead.

Lady Wagtaile

I perceive you are ignorant of Funerall customes, for widdowes,
heires, and heiresses receives visits whilst the Corpes lyes above
ground: And they will keep them so much the longer, to have so many more
visitants: nay, sometimes they will keep them so long, as there dissembling is
perceived, or so long as they stink above ground; for if they bury not the
Corpes and set empty Coffins for want of imbalming, their miserableness
will stench up the Nostrils of their vanity.

Sir Roger Vanity

Nay by your favour Lady, there are some that are buried
whilst they are steeming hot.

Sir Humphrey Bold

Those are only such whose Executors, widdowes, or
widdowers, feares they may revive again, and rather than that they should do
so, they will bury them alive.

Lady Wagtaile

You say rightly true, Sir Humphrey Bold.

Sir Timothy Compliment

Sweet beautyes, let us go to see this Rich heiress.

Lady Amorous

Content.

Sir Roger Exception

But Ladyes are you acquainted with her.

Lady Wagtaile

O no! But you may know that all women rather than want
visits, they will go to those they never saw, nor spoak to: but only heares of
them, and where they live, and I can direct the Coachman to this Ladyes
Lodging, wherefore let us go.

Sir Humphrey Bold

I shall not deny to visit a Rich heiress.

Sir Roger Exception

I shall waite upon you Ladyes, but――

Lady Wagtaile

Nay, never make buts, but let’s go.

Lady Amorous

Pray let us call Sir Serious Dumb, to go along with us.

Lady Wagtaile

Faith Amorous you love his Company, because he can tell
no tales.

Sir Humphrey Bold

Pray call him not, but let him alone: for I dare sweare
he is inventing of some useless and foolish Art.

Sir Timothy Compliment

Is he so inventive say you, but if his inventions is
useless, he invents in vain.

Sir C2r 7

Sir Roger Exception

Why may not a Dumb mans Inventions be as good as
a blind, for the most usefullest Artes were invented, as the learned faith, by one
born blind.

Lady Wagtaile

Me thinkes a dumb man should not have much wit, for by
my troath one that is dumb seemes to me like a fool; nay, one that speakes
but little: I cannot for my life but condemn him, or her for an Ass.

Sir Humphrey Bold

He may be a fool, although he may chance to light on
some inventions; for Artes are oftner produced from chance than wit, but let
us go and leave him.

Lady Wagtaile whispers
to Sir H.Humphrey Bold.

Lady Wagtaile

Faith Sir Humphrey Bold, we must call him, or otherwise my
friend Amorous will be out of humour.

Sir Humphrey Bold

Doth she love silence so well.

Lady Wagtaile

No, no, it is that she loves secrecy so well.

Exit.

Chorus

In a minutes time is flown

From a Child, to woman grown;

Some will smile, or laughing say;

This is but a foolish Play;

By Reason a Comedy, should of one dayes action be,

Let them laugh and so will I

At there great simplicity;

I as other Poets brings

Severall Nations, Subjects, Kings

All to Act upon one stage,

So severall times in one Age.

Scene 3.

Enter the Lady Orphant, and Mrs. Acquaintance.

Mistriss Acquaintance

How do you know the Lord Singularity is such a
gallant man? For he hath been out of the Kingdom this 7. yeares;
wherefore, you could have no acquaintance, you being yet very young.

Lady Orphant

Although I have no acquaintance by sight, or experienced
knowledge; yet by report I have: for I remembred I heard my Father say,
he was the honour of the Age, the glory of our Nation; and a pattern for all
mankind to take a sample from, and that his person was answerable to his
merrits, for he said he was a very handsome man, of a Masculine presence, a
Courtly garbe, and affable and courteous behaviour; and that his wit was
answerable to his merits, person, and behaviour, as that he had a quick wit, a
solid judgment, a ready tongue and a smooth speech.

Mrs. Acquaintance

And did your Father proffer you to be his wife.

Lady Orphant

Yes, and I remember my father sighing said, he should have
died in peace, and his soul would have rested in quiet, if he had been pleased
to have accepted of me.

C2 Mrs. C2v 8

Mrs. Acquaintance

When did your Father proffer you.

Lady Orphant

When I was but a Child.

Mrs. Acquaintance

He is not married, and therefore he may chance to accept
of you now, if you were profer’d.

Lady Orphant

That were but to be refused again, for I heare he is resolved
never to marry, and it will be a greater disgrace to be refused now I am grown
to womans Estate, than when I was but a Child, besides my Father is dead,
and my marrying can give him no content in the grave; unless his soul could
view the world and the severall actions therein.

Mrs. Acquaintance

So, is his Father dead.

Lady Orphant

Yes, and I here that is the cause he cares not to return into
his native Country.

Mrs. Acquaintance

I have a friend that hath his picture.

Lady Orphant

Is it a he or a she friend.

Mrs. Acquaintance

A she friend.

Lady Orphant

Pray be so much my friend, as to get your friends consent to
shew me the Picture.

Mrs. Acquaintance

Perchance I may get it to view it my self, but I shall
never perswade her to lend it you, jealousy will forbid her.

Lady Orphant

She hath no cause to fear me, for I am not one to make an
Amorous Mrs. and I have heard he will never marry.

Mrs. Acquaintance

That is all one; woman hath hopes as much as feares,
or doubts what ever men doth vow for, or against.

Lady Orphant

Pray send to her to lend it you, and then you may shew
it me.

Mrs. Acquaintance

I will try if she will trust me with it.

Exit.

Lady Orphant

Solus.

O Heaven, grant that the praise my Father gave this Lord whilst in the
world he lived, prove not as curses to me his Child, so grieve his soul with my
unhappy life.

Exit.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Mrs. Reformer her woman;
she being in yeares.

Mistriss Reformer

Madam, now you are become a Mrs. of a Family, you
must learn to entertain visitants, and not be so bashfull as you were
wont to be, insomuch as you had not confidence to look a stranger in the face,
were they never so mean persons.

Lady Bashfull

Alas Reformer, it is neither their birth, breeding, wealth, or
title, that puts me out of Countenance; for a poor Cobler will put me as
much out of Countenance as a Prince; or a poor Semestress, as much as a
great Lady.

Mrs. Reformer

What is it then?

Lady Bashfull

Why there are unacustomated faces, and unaquainted
humours.

Mrs. Reformer D1r 9

Mrs. Reformer

By this reason, you may be as much out of countenance as
an unacustomed Dogg, or Cat, that you never saw before; or any other beast.

Lady Bashfull

O no, for mankind is worse natured than beasts, and beasts
better natured than men; besides beasts lookes not with censuring eyes, nor
heares, or listens with inquisitive eares, nor speakes with detracting tongues,
nor gives false judgment, or spitefull censures, or slandering reproaches, nor
jeeres, nor laughs at innocent or harmless Errours, nor makes every little
mistake a crime.

Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page.

Page

Madam, there is a Coachfull of gallants allighted at the gate.

Lady Bashfull

For heavens sake, say I have no desire to be seen.

Reformer

No, say my Lady is full of grief and is not fit to receive visits.

Enter the Ladyes and Gentlemen. Whereat the Lady Bashfull stands trembling and shaking, and her eyes being
cast to the ground, and her face as pale as death.
They speak to Reformer

The Lady Wagtaile.The Lady Amorous.Sir Roger Exception.Sir Humphry Bolde.Sir Serious Dumbe.Sir Timothy Complement.[Speaker label not present in original source]

Where is the Lady Bashfull, pray Gentlewoman tell her we are come to kiss her hands.

Reformer offers to go forth.

Lady Wagtaile

Will you do us the favour old Gentlewoman, as to let the
Lady know we are here.

Reformer

If I am not so old as to be insensible, this is she.

Lady Wagtaile

Is this she, alas good Lady, she is not well, for surely she
hath a fit of an Ague upon her, she doth so shake; you should give her a Carduus-possit
and put her to bed.

Lady Amorous

Lady, are you sick.

She Answers not.

Lady Wagtaile

She is sick indeed, if she be speechless.

Reformer

Madam, pray pull up your spirits, and entertain this honourable Company.

Lady Wagtaile

Why is the defect in her spirits.

Reformer

She is young and bashfull.――

They all laugh, except Sir Roger Exception, and Sir Serious Dumb

The Lady Wagtaile.The Lady Amorous.Sir Humphry Bolde.Sir Timothy Complement.[Speaker label not present in original source]

Ha! Ha! She is out of countenance.

Sir Roger Exception

No she is angry, because we are strangers unknown
unto her; and she takes it for a rudeness that we are come to visit her, therefore
let us be gone.

Lady Amorous

Let me tell you, it is meer shamefacedness.

Sir Roger Exception

I say no, for those that are angry will shake extreamly,
and turn as pale as death.

Sir Humphrey Bold

Lady, take courage, and look upon us with a confident
brow.

D All D1v 10 All the while Sir Serious Dumb lookes on the Lady Bashfull with fixt eyes. The Lady Bashfull offers to speak to the Company, but cannot for stuttering; they
all laugh again at her.

Reformer

Lord, Madam! will you make your self ridiculous.

Lady Bashfull

I cannot help it, for my thoughts are consumed in the fiery
flame of my blushes; and my words are smothered in the smoak of shame.

Lady Wagtaile

O! she speakes, she speakes a little.

Reformer

Pray Madam leave her at this time, and if you honour her with
your Company again, she may chance to entertain you with some confidence.

Lady Wagtaile

Pray let me and Sir Humphry Bold come and visit her once a
day, if it be but halfe an hour at a time, and we shall cure her I warrant thee.

Reformer

I wish she were cured of this imperfection.

Sir Humphry Bold

She must marry, she must marry, for there is no cure like
a husband, for husbands beget confidence, and their wives are brought a bed
with impudence.

Lady Wagtaile

By your favour Sir Humphry Bold, marriage must give way
or place to courtship, for there are some wives as simply bashfull as Virgins;
but when did you ever see, or know, or hear of courtly lovers, or Amorous
courtships, to be bashfull: Their eyes are as piercing as light, and twinckles as
Starrs, and their countenance as confident as day; and the discourses is freer
than wind.

He imbraces her.

Sir Humphry Bold

And your imbraces are wondrous kind.

Lady Wagtaile

In troth we women love you men but too well, that is the
truth of it.

Sir Roger Exception

Pray Madam let us go, and not stay to anger this
young Lady as we do.

Lady Wagtaile

Farewell friend, Sir Humphry Bold and I will visit your Lady
to morrow.

As they were all going away, the Lady Wagtaile turnes back again.

Lady Wagtaile

Pray what may I call your name.

Reformer

My name is Reformer.

Lady Wagtaile

Good Mrs. Reformer, I am heartily glad to see you well.

Reformer

I thank your Ladyship.

All goeth away but Sir Serious Dumb, and he stayes a little time to look upon the
Lady Bashfull, and then goeth out.
Ex. The Lady Bashfull Sola, and after they were all gone she stretches up her self.

Lady Bashfull

O in what a torment I have been in; hell is not like it.

Exit. Scene 5. D2r 11

Scene 5.

Enter the Lady Orphant, and Mrs. Acquaintance.

Lady Orphant

Have you got the Picture?

Mrs. Acquaintance

Yes, but I have seen handsomer men in my opinion
than this Picture doth represent.

The Lady Orphant takes the Picture and views it with a stedfast eye.

Lady Orphant

I perceive you have no judgment in the Originall, nor skill in
the Copy; for this Picture is most naturally penselled, the Painter hath
drawn it so lively. That one may perceive his noble Soul to appear through
his lovely, and lively Countenance; do but observe it well, and you will see as
much as I.

Mrs. Acquaintance

That is impossible, unless I had your heart, for though
my skill of the Copy, or shadow, may be as much as yours, yet my affections
to the Originall is less; which makes my eyes not partiall.

Lady Orphant

What will the owner take for that Picture?

Mrs. Acquaintance

She will not sell it at any rate:.

Lady Orphant

I wish she would, for I would buy it at any price.

Mrs. Acquaintance

She prizes it as highly as you, loving him as much; or
well (as you do.)

Lady Orphant

How know you that?

Mrs. Acquaintance

Because I know she hath given him proofs of her love,
which I believe you never did.

Lady Orphant

You mistake lust for love, ambition, for merit, I love not
for the bodyes sake, but for the soules pure spirit.

Ex.

Act II.

Scene 6.

Enter two Merchants.

1. Merchant

I hear the Lord Singularity hath given the Turkes a great defeat,
he is both a wise, prudent, and valiant man.

2. Merchant

Methinkes our Nation should not suffer such a person as he,
to hazard his life in the service of other Countryes.

1. Merchant

O it is an honour to our Nation, to let the world know what
gallant men it breeds, besides our Nation is in peace with all the world;
and he being active, hates to live idly, and dully at home, although he have a
great estate, and is well beloved in his Country.

2. Merchant

What command doth the Venetians give him?

D2 1. Merchant. D2v 12

1. Merchant

He is a Generall, for he commands a great Army.

2. Merchant

Is he marryed?

1. Merchant

No, and it is reported he never will marry, but he loves
Mistrisses well, which all Souldiers doth for the most part.

2. Merchant

Then Italy is the best Countrey in the world for a souldier,
there being the greatest store and most variety of Curtezans, for many of the
Italians are, as many are in other Nations, rather Carpet-Knights, then fighting
souldiers, they have more skill in setting musicall notes, than pitching a battle;
in kissing a Mistrisses hand with a good grace, than shooting of a Cannon
bullet with a great courage; they can take better aime at a window, than of
an enemy. And though they often receive woundes, yet they are from fair
Venus, not from cruell Mars.

1. Merchant

But Mars souldiers when they skirmish in loves duels, receives
woundes as often from fair Venus, as other men; and Italy hath as many
gallant valliant men, bred and born in her, as any other Nation; and there are
as many Carpet-Knights in other Nations, as in Italy; and if valiant, and
gallant men be indued with vertue, they are not the less to be esteemed;
and as for Curtizans, all Nations is stored as much as Italy, but they do not so
openly prefess it, as those in Italy doth.

2. Merchant

For my part, I cannot think they are so good Souldiers as they
were in sars time.

1. Merchant

That may be, for there is no such souldiers as sars souldiers
were, no not in the world; that is, there are no men so patient, obedient, carefull,
industrious, laborious, daring, adventurous, resolute, and active, in these
Warrs, in this age, as the Romans were in sars time; and of all the souldiers,
sars souldiers were the best, and of all commanders sar himself, yet
those warriers was not less courtly to the feminine sex, than these of this age;
and if you did talk with an understanding Souldier, he would tell you that
Amors gave an edge to courage, and that it is a mark of a gallant man, and a
brave souldier to be an Amarato; and as for the Curtizans of Italy, if there can
be an honest act in a dishonest life, it is that the Curtizans in Italy professes what
they are; so that men are not deceived by them, nor betrayed into marriage;
wherein other Nations men are cozened with counterfeit modesty, and drawn
into marriage by pretended chastity, and then dishonoured by foul adultery,
or shamed by marrying a private Curtizan, not knowing she was so.

2. Merchant

I perceive by thee, that Merchants loves a Mistris as well as
a Souldier.

1. Merchant

Surely by thy talk thou are ignorant of thy own profession,
which is to trade, and traffick into all Nations, and with all sorts; but yet,
Merchants may be Souldiers if they will, and Souldiers may be Merchants
if they please; but the truth is all men in the world are Merchants.

2. Merchant

No, beggars are not.

1. Merchant

But they are, for they traffick with prayers and praises for
almes.

2. Merchant

The best Merchants I know are Priests, for they trade into
Heaven; and traffick with Jove.

1. Merchant

That makes them so poor, for heavens commoditie are not saleable on earth.

Ex. Scene 7. E1r 13

Scene 7.

Enter the Lady Orphant, Nurse Fondly, Foster Trusty.

Lady Orphant

Dear Nurse and Foster Father, grant to my desires and assist
my designs.

Nurse Fondly

What to let you wander about the world like a Vagabond,
besides it is against the modesty of your Sex.

Lady Orphant

Are holy Pilgrimes Vagabonds, or is it immodest for the
bodies of devout soules to travell to the sacred Tombe to offer penetentiall
tears.

Nurse Fondly

Why, you are no Pilgrime, nor is your journey to a
godly end.

Lady Orphant

My journey will be to an honest end, for though I am loves
Pilgrime, yet I shall travell to an honest heart; there to offer my pure
affections.

Nurse Fondly

To a deboist man, there to offer your Virginity.

Lady Orphant

Mistake me not, for though I love beyond a common rate,
even to an extream degree, yet I am chastly honest, and so shall ever be; my
grave shall witness my constancy.

The Lady Orphant weeping. Ex.

Foster Trusty

Beshrew your tongue wife for speaking so sharply to our
young Lady, she was left to our trust, care, and tender usage, and not to be
snapt and quarrelled with.

Nurse Fondly

Yes, and you would betray your trust to her childish folly.

Foster Trusty

No that I would not, neither would I venture or yield up her
life to loves melancholly.

Nurse Fondly

Come, Come husband, you humour her too much, and that
will spoile her I am sure.

Ex.

Scene 8.

Enter Sir Peaceable Studious with a Book in his hand; a Table being
set out, whereon is Pen, Ink and Paper. After he hath
walked a turn or two, with his eyes fixt upon the ground,
he sits down to the Table, and begins to write.
Enter the Lady Ignorant his Wife.

Lady Ignorant

Lord Husband! I can never have your company, for you
are at all times writing, or reading, or turning your Globes, or peaking
thorough your Prospective Glasse, or repeating Verses, or speaking Speeches
to your self.

E Sir E1v 14

Sir P. Studious

Why wife, you may have my company at any time; Nay,
never to be from me if you please, for I am alwaies at home.

Lady Ignorant,.

’Tis true, your person is alwaies at home, and fixt to one
place, your Closet as a dull dead statue to the side of a wall, but your mind
and thoughts are alwaies abroad.

Sir P. Studious.

The truth is, my mind sometimes sends out my thoughts
like Coye ducks, to bring more understanding in.

Lady Ignorant,.

You mistake Husband, for your thoughts are like vain, or
rather like false Scouts that deceives your understanding, imprisons your senses,
and betrayes your life to a dull solitariness.

Sir P. Studious

’Tis better to live a quiet solitary life, than a troublesome
and an uneasie life.

Lady Ignorant

What is a man born for, but to serve his Countrey, side with
his friends, and to please the effeminate Sex.

Sir P. Studious

You say right wife, and to serve his Countrey, is to finde
out such inventions as is usefull either in Peace or War; and to form, order
and settle Common-wealths by Denizing Laws, which none but studious
brains e’re did, or can do. Tis true, practice doth pollish beauty and adorn,
but neither layes the Foundation, nor brings the Materials, nor builds the walls
thereof; and to side with friends, is to defend Right and Truth with sound
arguments and strong proofs, from the tyrannical usurpation of false opinions,
vain phantasmes, malicious satires, and flattering oratorie, and to please the
effeminate Sex, is to praise their beauty, wit, vertue and good graces in soft
Numbers, and smooth Language, building up Piramides of poetical praises,
Printing their fame thereon, by which they live to After-ages.

Lady Ignorant

Prithy Husband mistake us not, for women cares not for
wide mouthed fame; and we take more delight to speak our selves whilst we
live, than to be talked of when we are dead, and to take our present pleasures,
than to abstain our selves for After-ages.

Sir P. Studeous

Well wife, what would you have me do?

Lady Ignorance

Why, I would have you so sociable, as to sit and discourse
with our friends and acquaintance, and play the good fellow amongst them.

Sir P. Studious

What need we to have any other friends than our selves;
our studies, books and thoughts.

Lady Ignorance

Your studies, books and thoughts, are but dull acquaintance,
melancholly companions, and weak friends.

Sir P. Studious

You do not wife consider their worth; for books are
conversable, yet silent acquaintance, and study, is a wise Counsellor; and
kind friends, and poetical thoughts are witty Companions, wherein other Societies
and Companies are great inconveniences, and oftimes produces evil
effects, as Jealousie, Adulterie, Quarrels, Duels, and Death, besides slanders,
backbitings and the like.

Lady Ignorance

Truly Husband, you are strangely mistaken; for those Societies
as I would have you frequent, doth Sing, Dance, Rallie, make Balls
Masks, Playes, Feasts, and the like, and also makes Frollicks or Rubices, or
Playes, at Questions and Commands, Purposes or Ridles, and twenty such
like Pastimes and fine sports they have.

Sir P. Studious

But surely Wife you would not like this kind of life, nor
I neither; especially if we were in one and the same Company; for perchance
you may hear wanton Songs sung, and see amorous glances, or rude or immodest
Actions, and when you dance, have a secret nip, and gentle gripe of the E2r 15 the hand silently to declare their amorous affections; and when you are at
Questions or Commands, you will be commanded to kiss the men, or they you,
which I shall not like, neither should you; or if they are commanded to pull
of your Garter, which no chast and modest woman will suffer, nor no gallant
man, or honourable husband will indure to stand by to see, and if you refuse,
you disturb the rest of the Company, and then the women falls out with you
in their own defence, and the men takes it as an affront, and disgrace, by reason
none refuses but you; This causes quarrels with Strangers, or quarrels betwixt
our selves.

Lady Ignorant,.

’Tis true, if the Company were not Persons of Quality
which were civilly bred; but there is no rude Actions, or immodest behaviours
offered or seen amongst them; Besides, if you do not like those sports,
you may play at Cardes or Dice to pass away the time.

Sir P. Studious

But Wife, let me examine you, have or do you frequent
these Societies that you speak so Knowingly, Learnedly, and Affectionately
of?

Lady Ignorance

No otherwise Husband, but as I have heard, which reports
makes me desire to be acquainted with them.

Sir P. Studious

Well, you shall, and I will bear you company, to be an
Eye-witness how well you behave your self, and how you profit thereby.

Lady Ignorance

Pray Husband do, for it will divert you from your too serious
studies, and deep thoughts, which feeds upon the health of your body,
which will shorten your life; and I love you so well, as I would not have you
dye, for this I perswade you to, is for your good.

Sir P. Studious

We will try how good it is.

Ex.

Scene 9.

Enter Nurse Fondley, and Foster Trusty her Husband.

Nurse Fondly

How shall I keep your Journey secret, but that every body
will know of it.

Foster Trusty

We will give out that such a deep melancholly have seized
on her, since her Fathers death, as she hath made a vow not to see any creature
besides your self for two years; As for me, I have lived so solitary a life
with my solitary Master, this Ladies Father, that I have few or no acquaintance;
besides, I will pretend some business into some other parts of the Kingdom,
and I having but a little Estate, few will inquire after me.

Nurse Fondly

So in the mean time I must live solitary, all alone, without
my Husband, or Nurse-childe, which Childe, Heaven knows, I love better,
than if I had one living of my own.

Foster Trusty

I am as fond of her, as you are, and Heaven knows,
would most willingly sacrifice my old life, could it do her any service.

E2 Nurse E2v 16

Nurse Fondly

But we indanger her life, by the consenting to this journey,
for she that hath been bred with tenderness and delicateness, can never indure
the coldes and heats, the dirt and dust that Travellers are subject to; Besides,
to be disturbed and broaken of her sleep, and to have ill Lodging, or perhaps
none at all, and then to travel a foot like a Pilgrim: Her tender feet will
never indure the hard ground, nor her young legs never able to bear her body
so long a journey.

Foster Trusty

Tis true, this journey may very much incommode her, yet if
she doth not go to satisfie her mind, I cannot perceive any hopes of life, but
do foresee her certain death; for her mind is so restless, and her thoughts
works so much upon her body, as it begins to waste, for she is become lean
and pale.

Nurse Fondly

Well! Heaven bless you both, and prosper your journey, but
pray let me hear often from you, for I shall be in great frights and fears.

Foster Trusty

If we should write, it may chance to discover us, if our Letters
should be opened, wherefore you must have patience.

Ex.

Scene 10.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Reformer her Woman.

Lady Bashfull

Reformer, I am little beholding to you.

Reformer

Why Madam.

Lady Bashfull

Why, you might have told a lye for me once in your life, for
if you had not spoke the truth by saying I was the Lady, they came to see,
they would never have guest I had been she, for they expected me to have
been a free bold Entertainer, as they were Visitors, which is, as I do perceive,
to be rudely familiar at first sight.

Reformer

But to have told a lye, had been to commit a sin.

Lady Bashfull

In my conscience the Gods would have forgiven you, nay,
they would have blest you; For it is a most pious and charitable act in helping
the distressed; Besides, you had not only helped a present distress, but
released a whole life out of misery; for as long as I live my thoughts will
torment me: O! They wound my very soul already, they will hinder my
pious devotions; For when I pray, I shall think more of my bashfull behaviour,
and the disgrace I have received thereby, than of Heaven; Besides,
they will starve me, not suffering the meat to go down my throat, or else to
choke me, causing it to go awry, or else they will cause a Feaver; for in my
conscience I shall blush even in my sleep, if I can sleep; For certainly I shall
dream of my disgrace, which will be as bad as a waking memory: O! that
I had Opium, I would take it, that I might forget all things; For as long as I
have memory, I shall remember my simple behaviour, and as for my Page, he
shall go, I am resolved to turn him away.

Reformer

Why madam?

Lady Bashfull

Because he let them come in.

Reformer

He could not help it, for they followed him at the heels, they never F1r 17 they never stayed for an answer from you, or to know whether you were
within or no, and there were a great many of them.

Lady Bashfull

I think there was a Legion of them.

Reformer

You speak as if they were a Legion of Angels.

Lady Bashfull

Nay, they proved a Legion of Divels to me.

Reformer

There was one that seemed to be a fine Gentleman, but he spake
not a word.

Lady Bashfull

They may be all what you will make them, or describe them,
for I could make no distinction whether they were men or women, or beasts,
nor heard no articulated sound, only a humming noise.

Reformer

They spake loud enough to have pierced your ears, if strength of
noise could have done it, but the Gentleman that did not speak, looked so
earnestly at you, as if he would have looked you thorough.

Lady Bashfull,.

O that his eyes had that piercing faculty, for then perchance
he might have seen; I am not so simple as my behaviour made me appear.

Ex.

Scene 11.

Enter Sir Peaceable Studious, and the Lady Ignorance his
Wife.

Sir Peaceable Studious

I have lost 500. pounds since you went in with the
Ladies.

Lady Ignorance

500. Pounds in so short a time.

Sir P. Studious

’Tis well I lost no more: But yet, that 500. pounds would
have bought you a new Coach, or Bed, or Silver Plate, or Cabinets, or Gowns,
or fine Flanders-laces, and now its gone, and we have no pleasure nor credit for
it, but it is no matter, I have health for it, therefore I will call to my Steward to
bring me some more.

Lady Ignorance

No, do not so, for after the rate you have lost, you will lose
all your Estate in short time.

Sir P. Studious

Faith let it go, ’tis but begging or starving after it is gone,
for I have no trade to live by, unless you have a way to get a living, have
you any.

Lady Ignorance

No truly Husband, I am a shiftless creature.

Sir. P. Studious

Yes, but you may play the Whore, and I the Shark, so
live by couzening and cheating.

Lady Ignorance

Heaven defend Husband.

Sir P. Studious

Or perchance some will be so charitable to give us suck’d
bones from stinking breaths, and rotten teeth, or greasie scraps from fowl
hands; But go wife, prithy bid my Steward send me 500. pounds more, or
let it alone; I will run on the score, and pay my losings at a lump.

Lady Ignorance

No dear Husband, play no more.

Sir P. Studious

How! not play any more say you, shall I break good Company
with sitting out; Besides, it is a question whether I have power to leave
off, now I have once begun; for Play is Witch-craft, it inchants temperance,
prudence, patience, reason and judgment, and it kicks away time, and bids him F go F1v 18 go as an old bald-pated fellow as he is, also it chains the life with fears, cares
and griefs of losing to a pair of Cards and set of Dice.

Lady Ignorance

For Heaven sake pitty me! If you consider not your
self.

Sir P. Studious

Can you think a Husband considers his wife, when he forgets,
or regards not himself, when all love is self-love, for a man would have
his Wife to be loving and chaste for his honours sake, to be thrifty for his profit
sake, to be patient for quiet sake, to be cleanly, witty and beautifull for his
pleasure sake, and being thus, he loves her; For if she be false, unkind, prodigal,
froward, sluttish, foolish, and ill-favoured, he hates her.

Lady Ignorant

But if a Husband loves his wife, he will be carefull to please
her, prudent for her, subsistence, industrious for her convenience, valiant to
protect her, and conversable to entertain her, and wise to direct and guide
her.

Sir P. Studious

To rule and govern her, you mean wife.

Lady Ignorance

Yes, but a Husbands follies will be but corrupt Tutors, and
ill Examples for a wife to follow; wherefore dear Husband, play no more,
but come amongst the effeminate Societie, you will finde more pleasure at less
charges.

Sir. P. Studious

Well wife, You shall perswade me for this time.

Lady Ignorance

I thank you Husband.

Ex.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lady Orphant, and Foster Trusty, as two Pilgrims.

Foster Trusty

My childe, you were best sit and rest your self, you cannot
chose but be very weary, for we have travelled a great journey to day.

Lady Orphant

Truly I am as fresh, and my spirits are as lively, as if I had
not trod a step to day.

Foster Trusty

I perceive love can work miracles.

Lady Orphant

Are not you Father a weary?

Foster Trusty

It were a shame for me to be weary, when you are not; But
my childe, we must change these Pilgrims weeds, when we are out of our
own Countrey; as when we are in Italy, otherwise we cannot pretend to stay
in the Venetian Armie, but must travel as Pilgrims do to Jerusalem: But it were
best we put our selves into Beggers garments until we come into the Armie,
for fear we should be strip’d by Thieves; for I have heard, Thieves will strip
Travellers, if their cloths be not all ragges.

Lady Orphant

’Tis true, and Thieves as I have heard, will rob Pilgrims
soonest, finding many good Pilladge, wherefore we will accoutre our selves
like to ragged Beggers.

Ex. Act F2r 19

Act III.

Scene 13.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, as in a melancholly humour, and Reformer
her Woman.

Reformer

Lord Madam! I hope you are not seriously troubled for being
out of Countenance.

Lady Bashfull

Yes truely.

Reformer

What? as to make you melancholly!

Lady Bashfull

Yes, very melancholly, when I think I have made my self a
scorn, and hath indangered my reputation.

Reformer

Your reputation! Heaven bless you, but your life is so innocent,
harmless, chaste, pure and sweet, and your actions so just and honest, as all the
Divels in Hell cannot indanger your reputation.

Lady Bashfull

But spitefull tongues, which are worse than Divels, may hurt
my reputation.

Reformer

But spite cannot have any thing to say.

Lady Bashfull

Spite will lye, rather than not speak, for envie is the mother
to spite, and slander is the Mid-wife.

Reformer

Why, what can they say?

Lady Bashfull

They will say I am guilty of some immodest act, or at least
thoughts, or else of some heynous and horrid crime, otherwise I could not be
ashamed, or out of countenance, if I were innocent.

Reformer

They cannot say ill, or think ill, but if they could, and did, what
are you the worse, as long as, you are innocent.

Lady Bashfull

Yes truely, for I desire to live in a pure esteem, and an honourable
respect in every breast, and to have a good report spoke on me, since I deserve
no other.

Reformer

There is an old saying, that opinion travels without a Passe-port,
and they that would have every ones good opinion, must live in every mans
age: But I am very confident, there is none lives or dyes without censures, or
detraction; even the Gods themselves, that made man, hath given man power
and free will to speak, at least to think what they will; That makes so many
Atheists in thought, and so many several factions by disputation, and since the
Gods cannot, or will not be free from censures, why should you trouble your
self with what others say, wherefore pray put off this indiscreet and troublesome
humour, for if you would not regard censure, you would be more confident.

Lady Bashfull

I will do what I can to mend.

F2 Scene F2v 20

Scene 14.

Enter the Lady Orphant, and Foster Trusty, like two poor
Beggers.

Foster

Childe, you must beg of every one that comes by, otherwise we
shall not seem right Beggers.

Lady Orphant

If our necessities were according to our outward appearance,
we were but in a sad condition; for I shall never get any thing by begging,
for I have neither learn’d the tone, nor the Beggers phrase to move pity or charity.

Foster Trusty

Few Beggers move pity, they get more by importunity, than
by their oratorie, or the givers charity.

Enter 2. Gentlemen. She goeth to them and beggs.

Lady Orphant

Noble Gentlemen, pity the shiftless youth, and infirm old
age that hath no means to live, but what compassionate charity will bestow.

1. Gentleman

You are a young boy, and may get your living by learning to
work.

Lady Orphant

But my Father being very old, is past working, and I am so
young, as I have not arrived to a learning degree of age, and by that time I
have learn’d to get my living, my Father may be starved for want of food.

2. Gent

Why, your Father may beg for himself whilst you learn to
work.

Lady Orphant

My Father’s feeble legs can never run after the flying speed
of pityless hearts, nor can he stand so long to wait for conscience almes, nor
knock so hard to make devotion hear.

1. Gent

I perceive you have learn’d to beg well, though not to work, and
because you shall know my devotion is not deaf, there is something for your
Father and you.

2. Gent

Nay, faith boy, thou shalt have some of the scraps of my charity
to, there is for thee.

Lady Orphant

Heaven bless you; and grant to you, all your good desires.

Gentlemen Ex. Enter a Lady and Servants.

Lady Orphant

Honourable Lady, let the mouth of necessity suck the breast
of your charity to feed the hungry Beggers.

Lady

Away you rogue, a young boy and beg! You should be strip’d,
whip’d, and set to work.

Lady Orphant

Alas Madam, naked poverty is alwaies under the lash of
miserie, which forceth us to work in the quarries of stony hearts, but we finde
the mineral so hard, as we cannot get out enough to build up a livelyhood.

Lady. G1r 21

Lady

Imploy your selves upon some other work then.

Lady Ex. Enter a mean Trades-man.

Lady Orphant

Good Sir relieve a poor begger.

Trades-man

Faith boy, I am so poor, as I want relief my self; yet of what
I have, thou shalt share with me; there is a peny of my two pence, which is
all I have, and Heaven do thee good with it.

Trades-man Exit.

Lady Orphant

I perceive poverty pities poverty, as feeling the like miserie,
where riches is cruel, and hard-hearted, not knowing what want is.

Foster Trusty

I perceive wit can work upon every thing, and can form it
self into what shape it please, and thy wit playes the Begger so well, as we
needed not to have stored our selves from our own Stocks, but have lived upon
the Stocks of others.

Lady Orphant

But if all Stocks were as insipid as the Ladies, we should
have starved, if we had not brought sap from our own home; But Father,
I am weighed down with the peny the poor Trades-man gave me.

Foster Trusty

Why, it is not so heavy.

Lady Orphant

It is so heavy, as it burthens my conscience, and I shall never
be at ease, nor be able to travel any farther, until I have restored the peny to
the giver again.

Foster NurseTrusty

How should we do that, for it is as hard and difficult to find
out that man, as to finde out the first cause of effects.

Lady Orph

Well, I will play the Philosopher, and search for him.

Foster NurseTrusty

But if you should meet him, perchance you will not know he
was he.

Lady Orph

O yes, for his extraordinary charity made me take particular
notice of him.

Enter the Trades-man as returning back.

Lady Orph

Most charitable and ――

Trades-man

What boy, wouldst thou have the other peny,.

Lady Orph

Most noble Sir, I have received from a bountifull hand, a summe
of money, and since you were so charitable to divide the half of your store
to me, so I desire I may do the like to you.

Trades-man

No boy, keep it for thy self, and thy old Father; I have a
Trade, and shall get more.

Lady Orph

Pray take it for luck-sake, otherwise I shall never thrive.

Trades-man

Faith I finde boy, thou are not as most of the World are;
the more riches they get, the more covetous they grow.

Lady Orph

Sir, pray take this.

Trades-man

What do you give me here, a piece of Gold?

Lady Orph

Yes Sir.

Trades-man

That were extortion, to take a pound for a peny.

Lady Orph

No, it is not extortion, since I can better spare this pound now,
than you could your peny, when you gave it me; wherefore it is but justice,.

Trades-man

Well, I will keep it for thee, and when you want it, come to G me G1v 22 me again, and you shall have it: I live in the next street, at the signe of the
Holy-lamb.

Lady Orphant

Pray make use of it, for I may chance never to see you
more.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter Sir Studious, and the Lady Ignorance his Wife.

Sir P. Studious

Faith Wife, with sipping of your Gossiping-cups, I am
half drunk.

Lady Ignorance

Lord Husband! There were some of the Ladies that
drank twice as much as you did, and were not drunk, and to prove they were
not drunk, was that they talked as much before they drunk, as after; For
there was such a confusion of words, as they could not understand each other,
and they did no more, when they had drunk a great quantity of Wine.

Sir P. Studious

That was a signe they were drunk, that they talked less,
but how chance that you drank so little.

Lady Ignorance

Truly, Wine is so nauseous to my taste, and so hatefull to
my nostrils, as I was sick when the cup was brought to me.

Sir P. Studious

I know not what it was to you, but to me it was pleasant,
for your Ladies were so gamesome, merry and kind, as they have fired me
with amorous love ever since.

Enter the Lady Ignorance’s maid.

Maid

Madam, the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies, have sent to know if
your Ladyship were within, that they might come and wait upon you.

Sir Peaceable Studious chiks the maid under the Chin, and kisses her.

Sir P. Studious

Faith Nan, thou art a pretty wench.

Lady Ignorance

What Husband? Do you kiss my maid before my
face.

Sir P. Studious

Why not Wife, as well as one of your sociable Ladies in
a frollick, as you kiss me, I kiss Nan.

Lady Ignorance

So, and when Nan kisses your Barber, he must kiss me.

Sir. P. Studious

Right, this is the kissing frollick, and then comes the
stricking frollick, for you strike Nan, Nan gently strikes me, and I justly beat
you, and end the frollicks with a ――

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and other Ladies of the Societie, with the Lady
Amorous
.

Lady Wagtail

What? a man and his Wife dully alone together! Fie for
shame.

Lady Amorous

Lawfull love is the dullest and drouziest companion that is,
for Wives are never thought fair, nor Husbands witty.

Sir G2r 23

Sir P. Studious

Your Ladyship is learned in loves Societies.

Lady Amorous

Yes that I am, for I have observed, that if there be a match’d
company, every man having a woman, their conversation is dull, every mans
tongue whispering in his Mistriss eare, whilst the women are mute, listening
to that which is whispered unto them; but let there be but one man amongst
a company of women, and then their tongues runs races, striving with each
other, which shall catch that one man, as the only prize, when the weaker
wits runs themselves straite out of breath.

Sir P. Studious

And must not one man run against them all.

Lady Amorous

O yes? and many times his wit beats them all.

Sir. P. Studious

Faith Lady? They must not be such strong winded wits
as yours is, which is able to beat a dozen Masculine wits out of the
field.

Lady Amorous

You are pleased to give me a complement.

The Lady Ignorance seems melancholly.

Lady Wagtaile

The merry God have mercy on you? What makes you
so melancholly.

Lady Ignorance

I am not well to day.

Lady Wagtail

If you are troubled with melancholly vapours, arising from
crude humours, you must take as soon as you wake after your first sleep, a
draught of Wormwood-wine, then lye to sleep again, and then half an hour
before you rise, drink a draught of Jelley-broth, and after you have been up
an hour and half, eate a White-wine-caudle, then a little before a dinner,
take a Toste and Sack, and at your meals, two or three good glasses of Clarret-
wine; as for your Meats, you must eate those of light digestion, as Pheasant,
Partridges, Cocks, Snipes, Chickens, young Turkies, Pea-chickens and the like;
And in the After-noon, about four or five a clock, you must take Naples-
bisket dip’d in Ippocrass, which helps digestion much, and revives the spirits,
and makes one full of discourse, and not only to discourse, but to discourse wittily,
and makes one such good company, as invites acquaintance, and ties
friendship.

The whilst the Lady Wagtail talks to the Lady Ignorance, she eyes her Husband, who
seems to court the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous

Faith I will tell your Wife what you say.

Lady Wagtail

That is fowl play, and not done like one of the Society, especially
when my Lady is not well.

Lady Amorous

What? Is she sick! I lay my life she hath eate too much
Branne Sturgeon, or Sammon without muskadine or Sack, or Neats-tongues,
Bakon and Anchoves, Caveare, or Lobsters, without Rhenish-wines, or Oysters,
or Sausages without Clarret-wine, or hath she eaten Potatoe-pies without
dates, Ringo-roots, Marrow and Chestnuts, have you not? i faith confess.

Lady Ignorance

No indeed.

Lady Amorous

Why? I hope you have not taken a surfeit of White-
meats, those childish meats, or with Water-grewel, Ponado, Barley-grewel,
those Hodge-podgely meats.

Lady Ignorance

Neither. ――

Lady Amorous

Why, then you have over-heated your self with dancing G2 or G2v 24 or fretting and vexing your self at your ill fortune at Cards; or your Tayler
hath spoiled some Gown, or your Coach-man was out of the way when you
would go abroad; is it not so.

Lady Ignorance

No.

Lady Amorous

Why? Then your Husband hath crost some design, or hath
angered you some other way.

The Lady Ignorance blushes. They all laugh, and speak at one time; She blushes, She blushes.

Lady Wagtail

Faith Amorous, thou hast found it out! Sir Peaceable Studious you are to be chidden to anger your Wife; wherefore tell us how you did
anger her, when you did anger her, and for what you did anger her.

Sir P. Studious

Dear, sweet, fine, fair Ladies! be not so cruel to me, as to
lay my Wives indisposition to my charge.

Lady Wagtail

But we will, and we will draw up an Accusation against
you, unless you confess, and ask pardon.

Sir P. Studious

Will you accuse me without a Witness?

Lady Wagtail

Yes, and condemne you too.

Sir P. Studious

That were unjust! if Ladies could be unjust.

Lady Amorous

O Madam! we have a witness? her blushing is a sufficient
witness to accuse him; Besides, her melancholly silence will help to condemn
him.

Lady Ignorance

Pardon me Ladies, for when any of our Sex are offended,
or angered, whether they have cause or not, they will rail louder than Joves
thunder.

Lady Amorous

So will you in time.

Lady Wagtail

Let us jumble her abroad; Come Madam! we will put
you out of your dull humour.

Lady Ignorance

No Madam? Pray excuse me to day; in truth I am not
well.

Lady Amorous

No, let us let my Lady alone, but let us take her Husband,
and tutour him.

Sir. P. Studious

Ladies, give me leave to praise my self, and let me tell you?
I am as apt a Scholar, as ever you met with, and as willing to learn.

Lady Amorous

Farewell Madam, we will order Sir P. Studious, and try
what disposition he is of, and how apt to be instructed.

Lady Ignorance

Pray do Madam, he promiseth well.

Ex.

Scene 16.

Enter Foster Trusty, and the Lady Orphant.

Lady Orphant

Now we are come into the Armie, how shall we demean
our selves like poor Beggers.

Foster Trusty

By no means, for though you beg well, yet you will never get what H1r 25 what you come for with begging, for there is an old saying, that although all
charity is love, yet all love is not charity.

Lady Orphant

It were the greatest charity in the World, for him to love
me; for without his love, I shall be more miserable than poverty can make
me.

Foster Trusty

But poverty is so scorned and hated, that no person is accepted
which she presents; Nay, poverty is shunn’d more than the Plague.

Lady Orphant

Why? it is not infectious.

Foster Trusty

Yes faith, for the relieving of necessity, is the way to be impoverished.

Lady Orph

But their rewards are the greater in Heaven.

Foster Trusty

’Tis true, but their Estates are less on earth.

Lady Orphant

But blessings are more to be desired than wealth.

Foster Trusty,.

Well? Heaven bless us, and send us such fortune, that our
long journey may prove successfull, and not profitless, and because Heaven never
gives blessings, unless we use a prudent industry; you shall put your self
into good clothes, and I will mix my self with his followers and servants, and
tell them, as I may truely, that you are my Son, for no mans Son but mine you
are, was so importunate, as you would never let me rest, until I brought you to
see the Lord Singularity, and they will tell him, to let him know his fame is
such, as even young children adore him, taking a Pilgrimage to see him, and
he out of a vain-glory will desire to see you.

Lady Orphant

But what advantage shall I get by that.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and many Commanders attending him.

Foster Trusty

Peace! here is the General.

Commander

The enemie is so beaten, as now they will give us some time to
breath our selves.

General

They are more out of breath than we are, but the States are generous
enemies, if they give them leave to fetch their wind, and gather strength
again.

Lady Orphant

Father, stand you by, and let me speak.

She goeth to the General, and speaks to him.

The Lady Orphant.[Speaker label not present in original source]

Heaven bless your Excellencie.

Lord General

From whence comest thou boy?

Lady Orph

From your native Countrey.

General

Cam’st thou lately?

Lady Orph

I am newly arrived.

General

Pray how is my Countrey, and Countrey-men, live they still in
happy peace, and flourishing with plenty.

Lady Orph

There is no noise of war, or fear of famine.

General

Pray Jove continue it.

Lady Orphant

It is likely so to continue, unless their pride and luxurie begets
a factious childe, that is born with war, and fed with ruine.

General

Do you know what faction is?

Lady Orph

There is no man that lives, and feels it not, the very thoughts are
factious in the mind, and in Rebellious passions arises warring against the
soul.

H Thou H1v 26

General

Thou canst not speak thus by experience boy, thou art too young,
not yet at mans Estate.

Lady Orphant

But children have thoughts, and said to have a rational soul,
as much as those that are grown up to men; but if souls grow as bodies doth,
and thoughts increases with their years, then may the wars within the mind be
like to School-boys quarrels, that falls out for a toy, and for a toy are
friends.

General

Thou speakest like a Tutour, what boyish thoughts so ever thou
hast; but tell me boy? what mad’st thee travel so great a journey.

Lady Orph

For to see you.

General

To see me boy!

Lady Orph

Yes, to see you Sir, for the Trumpet of your praise did sound
so loud, it struck my ears, broke open my heart, and let desire forth, which
restless grew until I travelled hither.

General

I wish I had merits to equal thy weary steps, or means for to reward
them.

Lady Orph

Your presence hath sufficiently rewarded me.

General

Could I do thee any service boy?

Lady Orph

A bounteous favour you might do me Sir?

General

What is that boy?

Lady Orph

To let me serve you, Sir.

General

I should be ingratefull to refuse thee, chose thy place.

Lady Orph

Your Page, Sir, if you please.

General

I accept of thee most willingly.

Captain

But Sir? may not this boy be a lying, couzening, flattering dissembling,
treacherous boy.

General

Why Captain, there is no man that keeps many servants, but some
are lyers, and some treacherous, and all flatterers; and a Master receives as
much injurie from each particular, as if they were joyned in one.

Lady Orph

I can bring none that will witness for my truth, or be bound for
my honesty, but my own words.

General

I desire none, boy, for thy tongue sounds so sweetly, and thy face
looks so honestly, as I cannot but take, and trust thee.

Lady Orph

Heaven bless your Excellence, and fortune prosper you, for your
bounty hath been above my hopes, and equal to my wishes.

General

What is thy name?

Lady Orph

Affectionata my Noble Lord.

General

Then follow me Affectionata.

Ex. Act H2r 27

Act IV.

Scene 17.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Reformer her woman. Enter Page.

Page

Madam, there was a Gentleman gave me this Letter, to deliver to
your Ladyships hands.

Lady Bashfull

A Letter! pray Reformer open it, and read it; for I will not
receive Letters privately.

Page Exit.

Reformer

The superscription is for the Right Honourable, the Lady Bashfull;
these present. “The Letter.Madam,Since I have had the honour to see you, I have had the unhappiness to think my
self miserable, by reason I am deprived of speech, that should plead my suit, but if an
affectionate soul, chaste thoughts, lawfull desires, and a fervent heart can plead without
speech, let me beg your favour to accept of me for your servant; and what I
want in Language, my industrious observance, and diligent service shall supply; I
am a Gentleman, my breeding hath been according to my birth, and my Estate is sufficient
to maintain me according to both; As for your Estate, I consider it not, for
were you so poor of fortunes goods, as you had nothing to maintain you, but what
your merit might challenge out of every purse; yet if you were mine, I should esteem
you richer than the whole World, and I should love you, as Saints love Heaven, and
adore you equal to a Dietie; for I saw so much sweetness of nature, nobleness of
soul, purity of thoughts, and innocency of life, thorough your Bashfull countenance,
as my soul is wedded thereunto, and my mind so restless; therefore, that unless I
may have hopes to injoy you for my Wife; I shall dye,
Your distracted Servant,Serious Dumb.”

Lady Bashfull

Now Reformer, what say you to this Letter?

Reformer

I say it is a good honest, hearty affectionate Letter, and upon my
life, it is the Gentleman I commended so; he that looked so seriously on you;
and your Ladyship may remember, I said he viewed you, as if he would have
looked you thorough, and you made answer, that you wished he could, that
he might see you were not so simple, as your behaviour made you appear, and
now your wish is absolved.

H2 Lady H2v 28

Lady Bashfull

What counsel will you give me in this cause?

Reformer

Why? write him a civil answer.

Lady Bashfull

Why should I hold corespondence with any man; either by
Letter, or any other way, since I do not intend to marry.

Reformer

Not marry?

Lady Bashfull

No, not marry.

Reformer

Why so?

Lady Bashfull

Because I am now Mistriss of my self, and fortunes, and have
a free liberty; and who that is free, if they be wise, will make themselves
slaves, subjecting themselves to anothers humour, unless they were fools, or
mad, and knew not how to chose the best and happiest life.

Reformer

You will change this opinion, and marry, I dare swear.

Lady Bashfull

Indeed I will not swear, but I think I shall not, for I love an
easie, peaceable and solitary life, which none injoys but single persons, for in
marriage, the life is disturbed with noise and company, troublesome imployments,
vex’d with crosses, and restless with cares; Besides, I could not indure
to have Parteners to share of him, whom my affections had set a price upon,
or my merit, or beauty, or wealth, or vertue had bought.

Reformer

So, I perceive you would be jealouse, if you were married.

Lady Bashfull

Perchance I might have reason, but to prevent all inconveniences,
and discontents, I will live a single life.

Reformer

Do what likes you best, for I dare not perswade you any way,
for fear my advice should not prove to the best.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter Affectionata, and Foster Trusty.

Foster Trusty

Now you are placed according to your desire, what wil you
command me to do?

Affectionata

Dear Foster Father, although I am loth to part from you, yet
by reason I shall suffer in my estate, I must intreat you to return home, for my
Nurse your wife, hath not skill to manage that fortune my Father left me; for
she knows not how to let Leases, to set Lands, to receive Rents, to repair Ruines,
to disburst Charges, and to order those affairs as they should be ordered;
which your knowledge, industry and wisdom will dispose and order for my advantage.

Foster Trusty

But how if you be discovered.

Affectionata

Why, if I should, as I hope I shall not, yet the Lord Singularity
is so noble a person, as he will neither use me uncivily, nor cruelly.

Foster Trusty

All that I fear is, if you should be discovered, he should use
you too civilly.

Affectionata

That were to use me rudely, which I am confident he will not
do, and I am confident that you do believe I will receive no more civillity (if
you call it so) than what honour will allow and approve of.

Foster Trusty

But jealousie will creep into the most confident breasts sometimes,
yet I dare trust you, though I fear him.

Affectio- I1r 29

Affectionata

I hope there is no cause to fear him, or doubt me, wherefore
dear Father, let us go and settle our affairs here, that you may return home to
order those there.

Scene 19.

Enter Sir Peaceable Studious, and the Lady Ignorance his Wife, She
being undrest, her mantle about her, as being not well.

Sir P. Studious

In truth wife, it is a great misfortune you should be sick
this Term-time, when the Society is so much increast, as it is become a
little Common-wealth.

Lady Ignorance

If there be so many, they may the better spare me.

Sir P. Studious

’Tis true, they can spare your company, but how can you
want their companies.

Lady Ignorance

You shall be my Intelligencer of their pastimes.

Sir P. Studious

That I will wife, but it will be but a dull recreation, only
to hear a bare relation.

Lady Ignorance

As long as you partake of their present pleasures, and
pleasant actions, what need you take care for me.

Sir P. Studious,.

Yes, but I must in Justice, for since you have cured me of
a studious Lethargie, I ought to do my indeavour to divert your melancholly;
and there is no such remedy as the Society; wherefore dear wife, fling off this
melancholly sickness, or sick melancholly, and go amongst them; for surely
your sickness is in your mind, not in your body.

She cries.

Sir P. Studious

What, do you cry Wife, who hath angered you?

Lady Ignorance

Why you.

Sir P. Studious

Who, I anger’d you! why I would not anger a woman,
no, not my Wife for the whole World, If I could possible avoid it, which I
fear cannot be avoided, for if I should please one of your Sex, I should be
sure to displease another: ―― But that is my comfort, it is not my fault; but
dear Wife, how have I offended you.

Lady Ignorance

Why did you kiss my maid before my face.

Sir P. Studious

Why did you perswade me.

Lady Ignorance

Did I perswade you to kiss my maid.

Sir P. Studious

No, but you did perswade me to be one of the Society, and
there is kissing, and I thought it was as well to kiss your maid before your face,
as a sociable Lady before your face.

Lady Ignorance

And why do you make love to the Ladies, since I suffer
none to make love to me.

Sir. P. Studious

No, for if you did, I would fling you to death, to be imbraced
in his cold arms; Besides, those actions that are allowable and seemly,
as manly in men, are condemned in women, as immodest, and unbecoming,
and dishonourable; but talking to you, I shall miss of the pleasant sports, and
therefore, if you will go, come, the Coach is ready.

I Lady I1v 30

Lady Ignorance

No, I will not go.

Sir P. Studious

Then I will go without you.

Lady Ignorance

No, pray Husband go no more thither.

Sir P. Studious

How! not to go? nor to go no more, would you desire
me from that which you perswaded me to; Nay, so much as I could never be
quiet, disturbing my harmless studies, and happy mind, crossing my pleasing
thoughts with complaining words, but I perceive you grow jealouse, and now
you are acquainted, you have no more use of me, but would be glad to quit
my company, that you may be more free abroad.

Lady Ignorance

No Husband, truely I will never go abroad, but will inancor
my self in my own house, so you will stay at home, and be as you were
before, for I see my own follies, and am ashamed of my self, that you should
prove me such a fool.

Sir P. Studious

Do you think me so wise and temperate a man, as I can on
a sudden quit vain pleasures, and lawfull follies.

Lady Ignorance

Yes, or else you have studied to little purpose.

Sir P. Studious

Well, for this day I will stay at home, and for the future-
time I will consider.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter two Servants of the Generals.

1. Servant

This boy that came but the other day, hath got more of my
Lords affection, than we that have served him this many years.

2. Servant

New-comers are alwaies more favoured than old waiters; for
Masters regards old Servants no more, than the Imagerie in an old suit of Hangings,
which are grown threed-bare with time, and out of fashion with change;
Besides, new Servants are more industrious and diligent than old; but when
he hath been here a little while, he will be as lazie as the rest, and then he
will be as we are.

1. Servant

I perceive my Lord delights to hear him talk, for he will listen
very a tentively to him, but when we offer to speak, he bids us to be silent.

2. Servant

I wonder he should, for when we speak, it is with gravity, and
our discourse is sententious, but his is meer squibs.

Enter Affectionata.

Affectionata

Gentlemen, my Lord would have one of you to come to
him.

1. Servant

Why, I thought you could supply all our places, for when you
are with him, he seems to have no use of us.

Affectionata

It shall not be for want of will, but ability, if I do not serve
him in every honest office.

1. Servant

So you will make some of us knaves.

Affectionata

I cannot make you knaves, unless you be willing to be knaves
your selves.

2. Servant

What, do you call me knave?

Affectio- I2r 31

Affectionata

I do not call you so.

Ex.

2. Servant

Well, I will be revenged, if I live.

Ex.

Scene 21.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Reformer her woman.

Reformer

Madam, I have inquired what this Sir Serious Dumb is, and ’tis
said he is one of the finest Gentlemen in this Kingdom, and that his valour
hath been proved in the wars, and that he is one that is very active and
dexterous in all manly exercises, as riding, fencing, vaulting, swimming, and
the like, Also that he is full of inventions, and a rare Poet, and that he hath
a great Estate, only that he is dumb, and hath been so this twelve years and upwards.

Lady Bashfull

Reformer. What makes you so industrious to inquire after
him, surely thou art in love with him.

Reformer

In my conscience I liked him very well, when he was to see
you.

Lady Bashfull

The truth is, he cannot weary you with words, nor anger
you in his discourse, but pray do not inquire after him, nor speak of him; for
people will think I have some designe of marriage.

Reformer

I shall obey you, Madam.

Exeunt.

Scene 22.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata. He strokes Affectionata’s head.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata, Thou are one of the diligent’st boys that
had.

Affectionata

How can I be otherwise, Sir, since you are the Governour of
my soul, that commands the Fort of my passion, and the Castle of my imaginations,
which are the heart, and the head.

Lord Singularity

Do you love me so much?

Affectionata

So well my Lord, as you are the archetectour of my mind,
the foundation of my thoughts, and the gates of my memorie, for your will
is the form, your happiness the level, and your actions the treasurie.

Lord Singularity

Thy wit delights me more, than thy flattery perswades;
for I cannot believe a boy can love so much; Besides, you have not served me
so long, as to beget love.

Affectionata

I have loved you from my infancy, for as I suck’d life from my
Nurses breast, so did I Love from fames, drawing your praises forth, as I did
milk, which nourished my affections.

Lord Singularity

I shall strive, boy, to requite thy love.

I2 Affecti- I2v 32

Affectionata

To requite, is to return love for love.

Lord Singul

By Heaven? I love thee, as a Father loves a son.

Affectionata

Then I am blest,.

Exeunt.

Scene 23.

Enter two Souldiers.

1. Souldier

What is this boy that our General is so taken with.

2. Souldier,.

A poor Begger-boy!

1. Souldier

Can a poor Begger-boy merit his affections?

2. Souldier

He is a pretty boy, and waites very diligently.

1. Souldier

So doth other boys, as well as he, but I believe he is a young
Pimp, and carries, and conveys Love-letters.

2. Souldier

Like enough to, for boys are strangely crafty in those imployments,
and so industrious, as they will let no times nor opportunities slip them, but
they will find waies to deliver their Letters and messages.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter the Lady Bashfulls Page, and Sir Serious Dumb, who gives
a Note to the Page to read.

Page

Sir, I dare not direct you to my Lady, as you desire me in this Note,
and if I should tell her, here is a Gentleman that desired to visit her, she
would refuse your visit.

Dumb gives the young Page four or five pieces of Gold.

Page

I will direct you to the room wherein my Lady is, but I must not be
seen, nor confess I shewed you the way.

Page, and Sir Serious Dumb Exeunt.

Scene 25.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity

Come Affectionata, sit down and entertain me with thy
sweet discourse, which makes all other company troublesome, and tedious
to me, thine only doth delight me.

Affectionata

My Noble Lord? I wish the plat-form of my brain were a
Garden of wit, and then perchance my tongue might present your Excellencies
with a Posie of flowery Rhethorick, but my poor brain is barren, wanting the K1r 33

Lord Singularity

Thou hast an eloquent tongue, (and a gentle soul.)

Affectionata

My Noble Lord, I have hardly learn’d my native words, much
less the eloquence of Language, and as for the souls of all mankind, they are
like Common-wealths, where the several vertues, and good graces are the
Citizens therein, and the natural subjects thereof; but vices and follies, as the
thievish Borderers, and Neighbour-enemies, which makes inrodes, factions,
mutinies, intrudes and usurps Authority, and if the follies be more than the
good graces, and the vices too strong for the vertues, the Monarchy of a good
life falls to ruine, also it is indangered by Civil-wars amongst the passions.

Lord Singularity

What passions indangers it most?

Affectionata

Anger, malice, and despair.

Lord Singularity

Were you never angry?

Affectionata

I am of too melancholly a nature, to be very angry.

Lord Singularity

Why? are melancholly persons never angry?

Affectionata

Very seldom, my Lord, for those that are naturally melancholly,
doth rather grieve, than fret, they sooner wast into sighes, than fly about
with fury; more tears flows thorough their eyes, than words pass thorough
their lips.

Lord Singularity

Why should you be melancholly?

Affectionata

Alas, nature hath made me so; Besides, I find there is not
much reason to joy, for what we love, perchance it loves not us, and if it doth,
we cannot keep it long, for pleasures passeth like a dream; when pains doth
stay, as if eternal were.

Lord Singularity

Thou art composed with such harmonie, as thy discourse
is as delightfull musick, wherein the soul takes pleasure.

Exeunt.

Scene 26.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, Sir Serious Dumb following her, where
Reformer her Woman meets them.

Reformer

Madam, now the Gentleman is here, you must use him civilly,
and not strive to run away from him, wherefore pray turn, and entertain
him.

The Lady Bashfull turns to him, but is so out of countenance, and trembles so much,
as she cannot speak, but stands still and mute; All the while he fixes his
eyes upon her.

Reformer

Pray speak to him, Madam, and not stand trembling, as if you
were like to fall.

Lady Bashfull

My spirits is seized on by my bashfull and innocent fears, insomuch,
as they have not strength to support my body without trembling.

Reformer

Sweet Madam, try to speak to him?

Lady Bashfull

Honourable Sir? give me leave to tell you, that my bashfullnessK full- K1v 34 doth smother the senses and reason in my brain, and chokes the words
in my throat I should utter, but pray do not think it proceeds from crimes,
but an imperfection of nature, which I have strove against, but cannot as yet
rectifie.

Sir Serious Dumb Civily bows to her, and then gives Reformer his Table-book to
read.

Mrs. Reformers [Speaker label not present in original source]

She reads

“Madam, He hath writ here, that had his tongue liberty to speak, all that he could say, would
be so far below, and inferiour to what might be said in your praise, as he should
not adventure to presume to speak.”

Lady Bashfull

I will presume to break my brain, but I will invent some
ways to be rid of his company.

He follows her, Exeunt.

Act. V.

Scene 27.

Enter the General, and sits in a melancholly posture. Enters Affectionata,
and stands with a sad countenance.
The General sees him.

Lord Singularity

What makes thee look so sad, my boy?

Affectionata

To see you sit so melancholly.

Lord Singul

Clear up thy countenance, for its not a deadly melancholly,
though it is a troublesome one.

Affectionata

May I be so bold to ask the cause of it.

Lord Singul

The cause is, a cruel Mistriss.

Affectionata

Have you a Mistriss, and can she be cruel?

Lord Singularity

O! Women are Tyrants, they daw us on to love, and
then denies our suits.

Affectionata

Will not you think me rude, if I should question you?

Lord Singul

No, for thy questions delights me more, than my Mistriss denials
grieves me.

Affectionata

Then give me leave to ask you, whether your suit be
just?

Lord Singul

Just, to a Lovers desires.

Affectionata

What is your desire?

Lord Singul

To lye with her.

Affecti- K2r 35

Affcectionata

After youu have married her?

Lord Singularity

Marry her saist thou, I had rather be banish’d from that
Sex for ever, than marry one, and yet I love them well.

Affectionata

Why have you such an adversion to marriage, being lawfull
and honest.

Lord Singul

Because I am affraid to be a Cuckold!

Affectionata

Do you think there is no chaste women?

Lord Singularity

Faith boy, I believe very few, and those that are men,
knows not where to find them out, for all that are not married, professes chastity,
speaks soberly, and looks modestly, but when they are marryed, they are
more wild than Bachalins, far worse than Satyres, making their Husbands
horns far greater than a Stags, having more branches sprouts thereon.

Affectionata

And doth he never cast those horns?

Lord Singul

Yes, if he be a Widower, he casts his horns, only the marks
remains, otherwise he bears them to his grave.

Affectionata

But put the case you did know a woman that was chaste;
would not you marry her?

Lord Singul

That is a question not to be resolved, for no man can be resolved,
whether a womamn can be chaste or not.

Affectionata fetches a great sighe.

Lord Singul

Why do you sighe, my boy?

Affectionata

Because all women are false, or thought to be so, that wise men
dares not trust them.

Lord Singularity

But they are fools, that will not try, and make use of them,
if they can have them; wherefore I will go, and try my Mistriss once
again.

Exeunt.

Scene. 28.

Enter the Lady Ignorance, and her Maid. She hears a noise.

Lady Ignorance

What a noise they make below, they will disturb my
Husbands study; go and tell those of my Servants, that I will turn them
away for their carelesness, as that they cannot place, set, or hold things sure, but
let them fall to make such a noise.

Maid

I shall.

Lady Ignorance

It shall be my study how to order my house without noise,
wherefore all my Servants shall be dumb, although not deaf, and I will take
none, but such as have corns on their feet, that they may tread gently, and all
my Houshold-vessel shall be of wood, for wood makes not such a noise when
it chance to fall, or is hit against a wall, as metal doth, which rings like bells,
when it is but touched, neither will I have Houshold-vessels of Earth, for
earthen-pots, pans and the like; when they fall and break, sounds as if a stone-
wall fell.

Ex. K2 Scene. K2v 36

Scene 29.

Enter the General, and three or four Commanders.

General

On my soul Gentlemen, the boy is an honest boy, and no wayes
guilty of this you tax him for.

Commanders

Pardon us, my Lord, for giving your Excellence notice that
the States are jealouse of him for a Spie, but we do not any wayes accuse
him.

General

Will the States examine him, say you?

Commanders

So we hear, my Lord.

General

Well Gentlemen, pray leave me for this time, and I will take
care the boy shall be forth-coming, whensoever the States shall require
him.

Commanders

Your Lordships humble Servants ――

Commanders Ex. The General solus.

General

A Spie, it cannot be, for he is neither covetous, nor malicious, revengefull,
nor irreligious, but I will try him.

Exit.

Scene 30.

Enter the Lady Bashfulls Chamber-maid, and Mrs. Reformer her
Gentlewoman.

Chamber-maid

Mrs. Reformer, pray tell me who that handsome Gentleman
is, which follows my Lady about?

Reformer

He is one that is Noble, and Rich, and is in love with my
Lady.

Chamber-maid

Truly it is the strangest way of wooing, that ever was, for my
Lady goeth blushing out of one room into another, and he follows her at the
heels: In my conscience my Lady is ashamed to sit down, or to bid him leave
her company, and surely they must needs be both very weary of walking, but
sure he will leave her, when it is time to go to bed.

Reformer

It is hoped he will.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Sir Serious Dumb following her.

Reformer

Madam, you will tire your self and the Gentleman, with walking
about your house, wherefore pray sit down.

Lady Bashfull

What! To have him gaze upon my face.

Reformer

Why, your face is a handsome face, and the owner of it is honest,
wherefore you need not be ashamed, but pray rest your self. ――

Lady L1r 37

Lady Bashfull

Pray perswade him to leave me, and then I will.

Reformer

Sir, my Lady intreats you to leave her to her self.

Sir Serious Dumb writes then, and gives Reformer his Table-book to read.

Reformer

He writes he cannot leave you, for if his body should depart, his
soul will remain still with you.

Lady Bashfull

That will not put me out of countenance, because I shall not
be sensible of its presence, wherefore I am content he should leave his soul, so
that he will take his body away.

He writes, and gives Reformer the Book.
Reformer reads

Mrs. Reformers [Speaker label not present in original source]

He writes, that if you will give him leave once a day to see
you, that he will depart, and that he will not disturb your thoughts, he will
only wait upon your person for the time he lives, he cannot keep himself
long from you.

Lady Bashfull

But I would be alone.

Reformer

But if he will follow you, you must indure that with patience,
you cannot avoid.

Sir Serious Dumb goeth to the Lady Bashfull, and kisseth her hand, and Ex.

Reformer

You see he is so civil, as he is unwilling to displease you.

Lady Bashfull

Rather than I will be troubled thus; I will go to some other
parts of the World.

Reformer

In my conscience, Madam, he will follow you, wheresoever you
go.

Lady Bashfull

But I will have him shut out of my house.

Reformer

Then he will lye at your gates, and so all the Town will take notice
of it.

Lady Bashfull

Why so, they will howsoever, by his often visits.

Reformer

But not so publick.

Exeunt.

Scene 31.

Enter the General, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata. Thou must carry a Letter from me, to my
Mistriss.

Affectionata

You will not marry her, you say.

Lord Singul

No.

Affectionata

Then pardon me, my Lord, for though I would assist your
honest love by any service I can do, yet I shall never be so base an Instrument,
as to produce a crime.

Lord Singul

Come, come, thou shalt carry it, and I will give thee 500.
pounds for thy service.

L Affectio- L1v 38

Affectionata

Excuse me, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

I will give thee a thousand pounds.

Affectionata

I shall not take it, my Lord.

Lord Singul

I will give thee five thousand, nay ten thousand pounds.

Affectionata

I am not covetous, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

I will make thee Master of my whole Estate, for without
thy assistance, I cannot injoy my Mistriss, by reason she will trust none with
our Loves, but thee.

Affectionata

Could you make me Master of the whole World, it could
not tempt me to do an action base, for though I am poor, I am honest, and so
honest, as I cannot be corrupted, or bribed there-from.

Lord Singularity

You said you loved me?

Affectionata

Heaven knows I do above my life, and would do you any service
that honour did allow of.

Lord Singularity

You are more scrupulous than wise.

Affectionata

There is an old saying, my Lord, that to be wise, is to be honest.

Exeunt.

Scene 32.

Enter Sir Peaceable Studious, and meets his Ladies maid.

Sir P. Studious

Where is your Lady?

Maid

In her Chamber, Sir.

Sir P. Studious

Pray her to come to me?

Maid

Yes Sir.

Sir P. Studious. Exit. Enter another Maid to the first.

1. Maid

Lord, Lord! What a creature my Master is become; since he fell
into his musing again, he looks like a melancholly Ghost, that walks in the
shades of Moon-shine, or if there be no Ghost, such as we fancie, just such a
one seems her, when a week since, he was as fine a Gentleman as one should
see amongst a thousand.

2. Maid

That was because he kiss’d you, Nan.

1. Maid

Faith it was but a dull clownish part, to meet a Maid that is not
ill-favoured, and not make much of her, who perchance have watch’d to meet
him, for which he might have clap’d her on the cheek, or have chuck’d her
under the chin, or have kiss’d her, but to do or say nothing, but bid me call my
Lady, was such a churlish part? Besides, it seemed neither manly, gallantly,
nor civilly.

2. Maid

But it shewed him temperate and wise, not minding such frivilous
and troublesome creatures as women are.

1. Maid

Prithy, it shews him to be a miserable, proud, dull fool.

2. Maid

Peace, some body will hear you, and then you will be turn’d away.

1. Maid

I care not, for if they will not turn me away, I will turn my self
away, and seek another service, for I hate to live in the house with a Stoick.

Scene L2r 39

Scene 33.

Enter the General, and Affectionata.

Affectionata

By your face, Sir, there seems a trouble in your mind, and I am
restless untill I know your griefs.

Lord Singularity

It is a secret I dare not trust the aire with!

Affectionata

I shall be more secret than the aire, for the aire is apt to divulge
by retorting Ecohhoes back, but I shall be as silent as the Grave.

Lord Singul

But you may be tortured to confess the truth.

Affectionata

But I will not confess the truth, if the confession may any
wayes hurt, or disadvantage you; for though I will not belye truth by speaking
falsely, yet I will conceal a truth, rather than betray a friend. Especially, my
Lord and Master: But howsoever, since your trouble is of such concern, I
shall not wish to know it, for though I dare trust my self, yet perchance you
dare not trust me, but if my honest fidelity can serve you any wayes, you may
imploy it, and if it be to keep a secret, all the torment that nature hath made,
or art invented, shall never draw it from me.

Lord Singul

Then let me tell thee, that to conceal it, would damn thy soul.

Affectionata

Heaven bless me! But sure, my Lord, you cannot be guilty
of such sins, that those that doth but barely hear, or know them, shall be
damned.

Lord Singul,.

But to conceal them, is to be an Actor.

Affectionata

For Heaven sake then keep them close from me, if either they
be base or wicked, for though love prompt me to inquire, hoping to give you
ease in bearing part of the burthen, yet Heaven knows, I thought my love so
honourable placed on such a worthy person, and guiltless soul, as I
might love and serve without a scandal, or a deadly sin.

Lord Singularity

Come, you shall know it.

Affectionata

I’l rather stop my ears with death.

Lord Singul

Go, thou art a false boy.

Affectionata

How false a boy howsoever you think me, I have an honest
soul and heart that is ready to serve you in any honest way, but since I am deceived,
and couzened into love by false reports, finding the best of man-kind
basely wicked, and all the World so bad, that praise nothing good, and strives
to poyson vertue; I will inancor my self, and live on Antidotes of prayers,
for fear of the infection.

Lord Singul

And will not you pray for me?

Affectionata

I cannot chose, my Lord, for gratitude inforces me; First,
because I have loved you, next, because I have served you; and give me leave
to kiss your hand, and then there drop some tears at my departure.

Weeping kneels down, and kisses herhis hand.

Lord Singularity

Rise, you must not go away untill you have cleared your
self from being a spie.

Affectionata

I fear no accusations.

Exeunt.

Finis.

L2v 40

The
Second Part
of
Loves Adventures.

The Lord Singularity.

Sir Serious Dumb.

Sir Timothy Compliment.

Sir Humphry Bold.

Sir Roger Exception.

Sir Peaceable Studious.

Foster Trusty.

Collonels,Captains,Lieutenants
and Corporals.

Petitioners.

Officers. Messengers.

INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that cb is unmatched.

Judges. Juries.

Servants.

The Lady Orphant.

Lady Bashfull.

Lady Ignorance.

Lady Wagtail.

Lady Amorous.

Nurse Fondly.

Mistriss Reformer. Lady Bashfulls
woman.

Chamber-maids.

Epilogue.

Noble Spectators, you have spent this day;

Not only for to see, but judge our Play:

Our Authoress sayes, she thinks her Play is good,

If that her Play be rightly understood;

If not, ’tis none of her fault, for she writ

The Acts, the Scenes, the Language and the Wit;

Wherefore she sayes, that she is not your Debtor,

But you are hers, until you write a better;

Of even terms to be she understands

Impossible, except you clap your hands.

The
M1r 41

The
Second Part

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter the Lady Bashfulls Chamber-maid, and Mrs. Reformer her
woman.

Reformer

This dumb Lover is the most diligent’st servant that
ever was, and methinks my Lady is somewhat more confident
than she was; for she will sit and read whilst he sits by.

Maid

Doth she read to him?

Reformer

No, she reads to herself.

Maid

There comes abundance of Gallants to visit my Lady
every day, and they have all one answer, that is, she is not willing to receive
visits, and they all go civilly away, unless Sir Humphry Bold and he rails horribly.

Reformer

I have received from several Gentlemen, above 20. Letters a day,
and as fast as they come, she makes me burn them.

Maid

But she reads them first.

Reformer

No, I read them to her.

Maid

And doth she answer all those Letters?

Reformer

She never answered one in her life, and I dare swear, she never
will.

The Lady Bashfull calls, as within another Room.

Reformer

Madam! ――

Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity,.

Affectionata. Hast thou forgiven me my fault of doubting
of thy vertue, so much as to put it to a Tryal.

M Affectio- M1v 42

Affectionata

My Noble Lord, have you forgiven my facility and wavering,
faith that could so easily, and in so short a time believe you could be wicked,
although you did accuse your self.

Lord Singularity

Nay Affectionata, I did not accuse my self, though I did
try thee.

Affectionata

Then I have committed a treble fault through my mistake,
which requires a treble forgiveness.

Lord Singularity

Thou art so vertuous, thou canst not commit a fault, and therefore needs no forgiveness.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and Sir Humphry Bold.

Sir Humphry Bold

Madam, You have been pleased to profess a friendship
to me, and I shall desire you will do a friendly part for me.

Lady Wagtail

Any thing that lyes in my power, good Sir Humphry Bold.

Sir Humphry Bold

Then pray, Madam, speak to the Lady Bashfull in my
behalf, that I may be her Husband.

Lady Wagtail

I will Sir Humphry, but she is bashfull, yet I was there Yesterday,
and she entertained me indifferently well, but seemed to be wonderfull
coy; but howsoever I will do my poor indeavour, Sir Humphry.

Sir Humphry Bold

Pray do, Madam.

Exeunt.

Scene. 4.

Enter Affectionata, walking in a melancholly posture; his Hat pulled
over his brows, and his arms inter-folded; To him enters the
Lord Singularity.

Lord Singularity

My Affectionata, Why walks thou so melancholly?

He pulls of his Hat to his Lord, and Bows.

Affectionata

The cause is not that I lye under an aspersion, by reason I lye
not under a crime; But truly, my Lord, I am troubled that I am threatened
to be tormented, for I would not willingly indure pain, though I could willingly
receive death; but as for the aspersions, I am no wayes concerned; for
I make no question, but my honest life, my just actions, and the truth of my
words, will so clear me at the last, as I shall appear as innocent to the World,
as Angels doth in Heaven.

Lord Singularity

Comfort your self, for I will rather suffer death, than you
shall suffer pain.

Affectionata

Heaven defend you, my Lord, whatsoever I suffer,.

Ex. Scene M2r 43

Scene 5.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and Mistriss Reformer.

Lady Wagtail

Pray Mistriss Reformer, be Sir Humphry Bold’s friend to thy
Lady, and I protest to thee, he shall be thy friend, as long as he and you
live, and I do not see any reason your Lady should refuse him; for he is both
as proper and stout a man, as any is living this day in the Land.

Reformer

Indeed Madam, I dare not mention it to my Lady, for she is so
adverse against marriage, as she takes those for her enemies as doth but mention
it.

Lady Wagtail

Then surely she is not a woman, for there is none of the effeminate
Sex, but takes it for a disgrace to live an old maid, and rather than
dye one, they will marry any man that will have them; and the very fear of
not marrying, is so terrible to them, as whilst they are so young, as they are
not fit to make wives, they will miserably cast away themselves to the first that
makes a proffer, although they be poor, base or mean, rather than venture to
try out their fortunes.

Reformer

But my Lady is not of that humour.

Lady Wagtail

Come, come, I know thou canst perswade thy Lady if thou
wouldst, and if you will, Sir Humphry Bold will give thee 500. l. to buy thee a
Husband, for thou hast lived too long a maid I faith.

Reformer

I am not a maid, Madam, I am a widow.

Lady Wagtail

What, a musty widow!

Reformer

I know not whether I am musty, but I am a widow.

Lady Wagtail

Let mee tell thee, that it is as great a disgrace to live a widow,
as an old maid; wherefore take thee 500 l. to get thee a second Husband.

Reformer

Truly I would not sell my Lady for all the World, much less, for
500 l. neither would I marry again, if I were young, and might have my
choyce.

Lady Wagtail

Lord bless me, and send me out of this house, least it should
infect me; for let me tell thee, were my Husband dead to morrow, I would
marry the day after his Funeral, if I could get any man to marry me, and so
I would serve 20. Husbands one after another.

Reformer

Your best way were to have 20. Husbands at one time, so that
your Ladyship might not be a day without.

Lady Wagtail

O fie! If women might have twenty Husbands, they would
have no room for courtly Servants; but prithy help Sir Humphry Bold, and take
his offer, and let me speak with the Lady my self.

Reformer

That your Ladyship cannot at this time, for my Lady is not well.

Lady Wagtail

Then pray remember my most humble service, and tell her,
I will come to morrow, and if she be sick, I will talk her well.

Lady Wagtail Ex. Reformer alone.

Reformer

Dead you would talk her, for thou hast an endless tongue; Oh!
what man is so miserable that is her Husband.

Reformer Exit. M2 Scene M2v 44

Scene 6.

Enter two or three Commanders.

1. Commander

It is reported that our Generals Page hath behaved himself
so handsomly, spoke so wittily, defended his cause so prudently,
declared his innocence so clearly, and carried his business so wisely, as the Venetian
States have not only quitted him freely, but doth applaud him wonderfully,
extolls him highly, and offers him any satisfaction for the injurie and
disgrace that hath been done him; but he only desires, that the man that had
accused him, which man, was one of the Generals men, should be pardoned,
and not punished.

2. Commander

I hope our General is well pleased, that his beloved boy is
not only cleared, but applauded.

1. Commander

O! He doth nothing but imbrace him, and kiss him, as if
he were his only son, yet he did gently chide him that he asked pardon for his
accusers; for said he, if all false accusers should be pardoned, no honest man
would escape free from censure.

3. Commander

But I hear the States have given order to our General to
meet the Turkes again, for it is reported by intelligences that they have recruited
into a nuumerous body.

2. Commander

Faith I think the Turkes are like the tale of the Gyant,
that when his head was cut off there rise two in the place.

1. Commander

I think they are like the vegetable that is named threefold,
the more it is cut the faster it growes.

3. Commander

I would the Devil had them for me.

2. Commander

We do what we can to send them to Hell; but whether
they will quit thee, I cannot tell.

Exeunt.

Scene. 7.

Enter the Lord General, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity

My Affectionata I wonder you could suffer an accusation
so patiently knowing you were accused falsly.

Affectionata

The clearnesse of my innocency needed not the fury of a violent
passion to defend it, neither could passion have rectified an injury.

Lord Singularity

Tis true, yet passion is apt to rise in defence of innocency,
and honour.

Affectionata

And many times passion (my Lord) destroyes the life in
striving to maintaine the truth, and defend the innocent; but I find a passionate
sorrow that your Lordship must go to indanger your life in the warrs
again.

Lord Singularity

The warrs is pastime to me, for I hate idlenesse, and no
imployment pleases me better than fighting, so it be in a good cause; but you
shall stay.

Affectionata. N1r 45

Affectionata

Why my Lord, are you weary of my service?

Lord Singul

Know I am carefull of thy safety, thy rest and peace, for
shouldst thou not come near danger, yet the very tragical aspect will terrefie
thee to death, thou art of so tender a nature, so soft and sweet a disposition.

Affectionata

Truly my Lord, if you leave me behind you, the very fear of
your life will kill me, where if your Lordyship will let me go, love will give
me courage.

Lord Singul

Then let me tell you, you must not go, for I have adopted you
my Son, and I have setled all my Estate upon thee, where, if I am killed, you
shall be my Heir, for I had rather vertue should inherit my Estate than birth,
yet I charge thee take my Name upon thee, as well as my Estate unto
thee.

Affectionata

My noble Lord, I should be prouder to bear your name, than
to be Master of the whole World, but I shall never be so base to keep my
self in safety, in hope of your Estate, wherefore must intreat your leave to go
with you.

Lord Singul

I will not give you leave, but command you to the contrary,
which is to stay.

Affectionata

I cannot obey you in this, for love will force me to run after
you.

Lord Singul

I will have you lash’d, if you offer to go.

Affectionata

Stripes cannot stay me!

Lord Singul

I will have you tyed, and kept by force.

Affectionata

By Heaven, my Lord, iI’l tear my flesh, and break my bones to
get lose, and if I have not legs to run, iI’l creep thorough the Earth like worms,
for though I shall move but slowly, yet it will be a satisfaction to my soul, that I
am travelling after you,.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata, You anger me very much.

Affectionata

Indeed my Lord, you grieve me more than I can anger you.

Affectionata weeps.

Lord Singularity

What, do you crie! and yet desire to be a souldier?

Affectionata

A valiant heart, my Lord, may have a weeping eye to keep it
company.

Lord Singularity

If no perswasion can stay you, you must go along with
me.

Affectionata bows, as giving his Lord thanks. Exeunt. N Scene N1v 46

Scene 8.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, the Lady Amorous, Sir Humphry Bold,
Sir Timothy Compliment, to the Lady Bashfull,
who hangs down her head, as out of
countenance.

Lady Wagtail

Faith Lady Bashfull, we will have you abroad to Balls and
publick meetings, to learn you a confident behaviour, and a bold speech;
Fie! You must not be bashfull.

Lady Amorous

Our visiting her sometimes, hath made her so, as she is not
altogether so bashfull as she was.

Enter Sir Serious Dumb, who bows first to the Lady Bashfull, then to the rest of
the Company, and then goeth behind the Lady Bashfull, and stands close
by Mistriss Reformer.

Lady Amorous

Surely Sir Serious Dumb is a domestick servant here, he stands
and waits as one.

He bows with an acknowledging face.

Sir Humphry Bold

If she wil entertain such servants as he, she is not so
modest as she appears. Lady, perchance if I had come privately alone, I had
been entertained with more freedom, and not have had my suit denied, and
my person neglected with scorn, and he received with respect

Sir Serious Dumb comes and gives him a box on the eare, they both draw their
swords, all the women runs away squeeking, only the Lady Bashfull
stayes, and runs betwixt their swords, and parts them;
Sir Timothy Compliment looks on
as affraid to stir.

Lady Bashfull

For Heaven sake! fight not here, to affright me with your
quarrels.

Sir Humphry Bold

I will have his heart-bloud.

Lady Bashfuull

Good Sir Serious Dumb, and Sir Humphry Bold, leave off
fighting.

Sir Serious Dumb draws back.

Lady Bashfull

Pray Sir Humphry Bold, give me your sword, that I may be
sure you will not fight.

Sir Humphry Bold

What, yield my sword up! I will dye first.

Enter the Ladies again. All speak at one time,

The Lady Wagtaile.The Lady Amorous. Mrs. Reformers [Speaker label not present in original source]

who is kill’d, who is kill’d.

Sir Humphry Bold presses towards Sir Serious Dumb.

Lady Bashfull

Good Ladies, hold Sir Humphry Bold, and I will try to perswade
Sir Serious Dumb.

They N2r 47 They hold Sir Humphry Bold.

Lady Wagtail

What, you shall not stir, I am sure you will not oppose us
women.

Lady Bashfull

Noble Sir, to give me an assurance you will not fight, give
me your sword.

Sir Serious Dumb kisses the hilt of his sword, then gives it her. Sir Humphry Bold gets lose from the Ladies, and goeth to assault Sir Serious
Dumb
; He being unarmed, the Lady Bashfull seeing him, steps betwixt them,
and with Sir Serious Dumb’s sword, strikes at Sir Humphry Bold, and strikes
his sword out of his hand.

Lady Bashfull

What, are you not ashamed to assault an unarmed man.

Sir Humphry Bold runs to take up his sword, she also runs and sets her foot upon it.

Lady Bashfull

Let the sword alone, for it is my prize; and by Heaven, if
you touch it, I will run you thorough with this sword in my hand.

Sir Humphry Bold runs, and catcheth Sir Timothy Compliments sword, and
offers to make a thrust at Sir Serious Dumb, who puts the sword by, and beats
it down with one hand, and with the other strikes it aside, then closes with him, and
being skillfull at Wrestling, trips up his heels, then gets upon
him, and having both his hands at liberty, wrings out Sir
Humphry Bold’s
sword out of his hand, then ariseth and
gives the sword to the right owner, who all the time trembled
for fear, and never durst strive to part them.
The women in the
mean time squeeks.

Sir Humphry Bold

Hell take me, but I will be revenged: Lady, I hope you
will give me my sword again.

Lady Bashfull

Never to fight against a woman, but my victorious
spoils, I will deliver to this gallant Gentleman, who delivered up his life and
honour into my hand, when he gave me his sword, and I indangered the loss of
both by taking it, for which my gratitude hath nothing to return him but my
self and fortunes, if he please to accept of that and me.

Sir Serious Dumb bows with a respect, and kisses her hand.

Lady Bashfull

Sir, I wish my person were more beautifull than it is, for
your sake, and my fortune greater, with more certainty of continuance, as
neither being subject to time or accident, but this certainly I will promise you,
which is, my chaste and honest life; Now Sir, pray, take these
two swords, this was yours, fear gave me confidence, this I won,
love gave me courage.

Gives him the
two swords.
Sir Serious Dumb leads out his Mistriss. Exit.

Sir Humphry Bold

I will be revenged.

Omnes
Exeunt.
N2 N2v 48

Act II.

Scene 9.

Enter the Lord General, and Affectionata.

Lord Singul

Affectionata, I hear thou hast bought Arms, I am sure thou
canst not fight.

Affectionata,.

I am sure I will do my indeavour, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

Why, the very weight of thy Arms will sink thee
down.

Affectionata

O no, my Lord; my desire shall bear them up.

Lord Singul

Alas, thou hast no strength to fight?

Affectionata

What strength my active body wants, my vigorous spirits
shall make good.

Lord Singul

Prethee, my boy, do not adventure thy self, but stay in my
Tent.

Affectionata

That would be a shame for me, and a dishonour to you, since
you have adopted me your son, wherefore the World shall never say, you
have bestowed your favour and your love upon a coward.

Lord Singularity

I well perceive I have adopted a very willfull boy?

Affectionata

Indeed, my Lord, I have no will, but what doth follow you.

The General strokes Affectionata on the cheek. Exeunt.

Scene. 10.

Enter Sir Serious Dumb, and his Mistriss the Lady Bashfull.

Sir Serious Dumb

The time I vowed to silence is expir’d, and though my
thoughts not gloriously attired with Eloquence, for Rhetorick I have none,
yet civil words, fit for to wait upon a modest Lady, and to entertain an honest
mind with words of truth, though plain? For ’tis not Rhetorick makes a
happy life, but sweet society, that’s void of strife.

Lady Bashfull

Sir, Rhetorick is rather for sound than sense, for words than
reason.

Sir Serious Dumb

Yet my sweet Mistriss, I wish my voice were tuned to
your care, and every word set as a pleasing note to make such musick as might
delight your mind.

Lady Bashfull

Your words flow thorough my ears, as smooth, clear, pure
water from the spring of Hellicon, which doth not only refresh, but inrich my
dull insipid brain.

Scene O1r 49

Scene 11.

Enter a Captain and his Corporal.

Corporal

The Turks never received such a blow, as they have this time?

Captain

A pox of them, they have made us sweat?

Corporal

Why Captain, sweating will cure the Pox, and though you curse
the Turks, yet it is we that live in Italy, that is diseased with them.

Captain

The truth is, we lost more health in the Venetian service, than we
gain wealth.

Corporal

Nay faith Captain, we do not only lose our health, but wast our
wealth, for what booties we get from the Turks, the Courtezans gets from us.

Captain

For that cause now I have gotten a good bootie, I will return into
mine own Country, and buy a ――

Corporal

A what Captain?

Captain

An Office in civil Government.

Corporal

But you will never be civil in your Office.

Captain

That needs not to be, for though all Magisterial Offices bears a
civil Authority, yet the Officers and Magistrates therein, are more cruel and
ravenouus than common souldiers.

Corporal

Verily Captain, I think common Souldiers are more mercifull and
just than they.

Captain

Verely Corporal, I think you will become a Puritan Preacher.

Corporal

Why should you think so, Captain.

Captain

First, because you have got the Pox, and that will make you
Preach in their tone, which is, to speak thorough the nose; the next is, you
have left the ranting Oaths that Souldiers use to swear, and use their phrases;
as verily my beloved brethren, which brethrens souls, they care not for, nor
thinks thereof, for though they speak to the brethren, they Preach to the sisters,
which edifies wonderfully by their Doctrine, and they gain and receive
as wonderfull from their female flocks, for those Puritan Preachers have more
Tithes out of the Marriage-bed, than from the Parish-stock.

Corporal

If it be so beneficial, Captain, I had rather be a Puritan Preacher,
than an Atheistical States-man.

Captain

Faith Corporal, I think there is not much Religion in either, but
if there be, it lies in the States-man, for he keeps Peace, the other makes
War.

Corporal

If they make wars, they are our friends, for we live by the spoils
of our enemies.

Captain

’Tis true, when as we get a victory, or else our enemies lives on the
spoil of us, for though we have no goods to lose, yet we venture our lives,
neither do we live on the spoil of our enemies, but only in forreign wars, for
in civil wars we live by the spoil of our Friends, and the ruining of our
Country.

Corporal

Then we are only obliged to Preachers for civil wars.

Captain

Faith Corporal, we are obliged to them for both; for as their factious
Doctrine causes a Rebellion by railing on the Governours and Governments,
so their flattering Sermons sets a Prince on fire, who burns in hot ambition
to conquer all the World.

O Cor- O1v 50

Corporal

These latter Preachers you mention, Captain, are not Puritan
Preachers, but Royal Preachers.

Captain

You are right Corporal, for they are divided in two parts, although
their Doctrine meets at one end, which is in war.

Corporal

Captain, you have discovered so fully of Preachers, that if you
will give me leave, I will preach to our Company.

Captain

Out you rogue, will you raise a war amongst our selves, causing a
mutinie to cut one anothers throats?

Corporal

Why Captain, it is the fashion and practice for Souldiers to Preach
now adayes.

Captain

That is amongst the Rebel party to keep up their faction, and to
strengthen the flank thereof, but amongst the Royal party, the Preaching Ministers
turn fighting Souldiers, incouraging with their good example, as by
their valliant onsets, and not the Souldiers Preaching Ministers.

Corporal

Why Captain, the Royal party needs no incouragement, the justice
of their cause is sufficient.

Captain

You say right, they want not courage to fight, but they want conscience
to plunder; Besides, the Royal party is apt to give quarter, which
should not be, for Souldiers should destroy all they take in Civil-wars, by
reason there is no gain to be made of their Prisoners, as by the way of Ransoms,
but if we stay from our Company, our General will preach such a Sermon,
as may put us into despair of his favour, and indanger our lives at the
Council of war.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter three or four Commanders.

1. Commander

I think our Generals new made son is a spirit; for when
the General was surrounded with the Turks, this adopted Son of his
flew about like lightening, and made such a massacre of the Turks, as they
lay as thick upon the ground, as if they had been mushromes.

2. Commander

Certainly the General had been taken Prisoner, if his Son
had not rescued him, for the General had adventured too far into the enemies
body.

1. Commander

’Tis strange, and doth amaze me with wonder, to think
how such a Willow-twig could bore so many mortal holes in such strong
timber’d bodies as the Turks.

2. Commander

By him one would believe miracles were not ceast.

3. Commander

Well, for my part I will ask pardon of my General for
condemning him privately in my thoughts, for I did think him the most fond,
(I will not say what) for adopting a poor Beggar-boy for his son, and setled
all his Estate, which is, a very great one upon him.

1. Commander

The truth is, he is a very gallant youth, and if he lives and
continues in the wars, he will prove a most excellent Souldier.

2. Commander

Certainly he sprung from a Noble Stock, either by his Fathers
side, or by his Mothers.

1. Commander

By his behaviour he seems Nobly born from both.

3. Com- O2r 51

3. Commander

And by his poverty, Nobly born from neither.

1. Commander

Mean persons may have wealth, and Noble births be
Beggars.

Exeunt.

Scene 13.

Enter Affectionata in brave cloths, Hat and Feather, and a Sword
by his side, and a great many Commanders following and
attending him, with their Hats off, the whilst he
holds off his Hat to them.

Affectionata

Gentlemen, I beseech you, use not this ceremonie to me, it
belongs only to my Lord General.

Commanders

Your merits and gallant actions deserves it from us; Besides,
it is your due, as being the Generals adopted Son.

Affectionata

My Lords favour may place a value on me, though I am poor
in worth, and no wayes deserves this respect.

1. Commander

Faith Sir, had it not been for you, we had lost the battel.

Affectionata

Alas, my weak arm could never make a conquest, although
my will was good, and my desire strong to do a service.

2. Commander

Sir, the service was great, when you rescued our General,
for when a General is taken or kill’d, the Armies are put to rout, for then the
common Souldiers runs away, never stayes to fight it out.

Affectionata

I beseech you Gentlemen, take not the honour from my Lord
to give it me, for he was his own defence, and ruine to his enemies; for his
valiant spirits shot thorough his eyes, and struck them dead, thus his own courage
was his own safety, and the Venetians victory.

Enter a messenger from the Venetian-States to Affectionata, he bows to him.

Messenger

Noble Sir, the Venetian-States hath made you Lieutenant-General
of the whole Armie, and one of the Council of War, where they desire
your presence.

Affectionata

The honours they have given me, is beyond my management.

Messenger Exit. As Affectionata was going forth, enters some poor Souldiers Wives with Petitions,
offers to present them to Affectionata.

1,. Wife

Good your Honour, speak in the behalf of my Petition.

2. Wife

And mine.

3. Wife

And mine.

Affectionata

Good women, I cannot do you service, for if your Petitions
are just, my Lord the General will grant your request, and if they be unjust,
he will not be unjust in granting them for my intreatie, nor will I intreat therefore.

Wives

If it please your Honour, we implore Mercy, not Justice.

O2 Affecti- O2v 52

Affectionata

Where Justice and Wisdom will give leave for Mercy, I am
sure my Lord will grant it, otherwise, what you call mercy, will prove cruelty,
and cause ruine and destruction.

Wives

We beseech your Honour then, but to deliver our Petitions.

Affectionata

For what are they?

Wives

For the lives of our Husbands.

Affectionata

Are they to be executed?

Wives

They are condemned, and to be hanged to morrow, unless the General
gives them pardons.

Affectionata

What are their crimes?

1. Wife

My Husband is to be hanged for plundering a few old rotten
Houshold-goods.

Affectionata

Give me your Petition, necessity might inforce him.

2. Wife

My Husband is to be hanged for disobeying his Captain when he
was drunk.

Affectionata

When which was drunk? your Husband or his Captain?

Wife

My Husband.

Affectionata

Disobedience ought to be severely punished, yet because his
reason was drowned in his drink, and his understanding smothered with the
vapour thereof, whereby he knew not what he did, I will deliver your Petition.

Affectionata

And what is yours?

3. Wife

My Husband is to be hanged for ravishing a Virgin.

Affectionata

I will never deliver a Petition for those that are Violaters of
Virginity, I will sooner act the Hang-mans part my self to strangle him.

Affectionata

And what is your Husbands crime?

4. Wife

My Husband is to be hanged for murther.

Affectionata

O horrid! They that murther, ought to have no mercy given
to them, since they could give no mercy to others.

Wives

Good your Honour.

Affectionata

Nay, never press me, for I will never deliver your Petition.

Wives Exeunt. Enter Commanders that were to be Cashiered (to Petition Affectionata.)

1. Captain

Noble Sir, I come to intreat you to be my friend, to speak to
the General in my behalf, that I may remain in my place, for I am to be cashierd.

Affectionata

For what?

1. Captain

For a small fault, Sir, for when the battel was begun, I had such
a cholick took me in the stomach, as I was forced to go aside, and untruss a
point.

Affectionata

It had been more for your honour, Captain, to had let nature
discharge it self in your breeches. And what, are you cashiered Captain?

2. Captain

Marry, for my good service, for when the battel begun, my
Souldiers run away, and I run after to call them back, they run, and I rid so
long, as we were gotten ten miles from the Armie, but I could not get them,
untill such time as the battel was won.

Affectionata

It had been more honour for you to have fought single alone
without your Souldiers, than to have followed your Souldiers, although to
make them stay, and you would have done more service with your standing
still than your running; and what, are you to be cashiered?

3. Cap- P1r 53

3. Captain

Why Sir, my company wanted Powder, and I went to fetch
or give order; for some to be brought, and before I returned to my Company,
the battel was won.

Affectionata

It had been more for your honour and good service, to have
stayed and incouraged your Souldiers by your example with fighting with
your sword, for the sword makes a greater execution than the shot; but since
they were not wilfull, nor malicious faults, I shall do you what service I can,
for fear sometimes may seize the valiantest man. And what were your faults
Colonel?

1. Colonel

Mine was for betraying a Fort.

Affectionata

O base! He that betrays a Fort, ventures to betray a Kingdom,
which is millions of degrees worse than to betray a life, or a particular friend;
for those that betrays a Kingdom, betrays numbers of lifes, and those that betrays
their native Country, betrays that which gave them nourishing strength,
and you have had great mercy in giving you your life, although you lose your
place. And what was your fault?

Commander

Mine was for neglecting the Watch.

Affectionata

That is as bad as to give leave for the enemie to surprize, only
the one betrays through carelesness, the other through covetousness. And what was your fault Colonel?

Colonel

Mine was for disobeying the Generals Orders.

Affectionata

Let me tell you Colonel, he that will not obey, is not fit to
command; and those that commits careless, stubborn, malicious and wicked
crimes; I will never deliver their Petition, nor speak in their behalf.

Commanders Exeunt. Enter a poor Souldier.

Souldier

Good your Honour save me from punishment.

Affectionata

What are you to be punished for?

Souldier

I am to be punished, because I said my Captain was a coward.

Affectionata

What reason had you to say so?

Souldier

The reason was, because he sung and whistled when he went to fight.

Affectionata

That might be to shew his courage.

Souldier

O no, it was to hide his fear.

Affectionata

But you ought not to have called your Captain coward, had
he been so; for the faults of Superiours are to be winked at, and obscured,
and not to be divulged: Besides, yours was but a supposition, unless he ran
away.

Souldier

No Sir, he fought.

Affectionata

Then you were too blame for judging so.

Souldier

I confess it, Sir, wherefore pray speak for me.

Affectionata

Indeed I cannot, for to call a man coward, is to kill, at least to
wound his reputation, which is far worse, than if you had kill’d the life of
his body; by how much honour is to be preferred before life; but if you can
make your peace with your Captain by asking his pardon; I will then speak
to the General, that the sentence for your punishment may be taken off,
wherefore let me advise you to go to your Captain, and in the most humblest
and sorrowfulst manner ask forgiveness of him.

Souldier

I shall, and it please your Honour.

Exeunt. P Scene P1v 54

Scene 14.

Enter Sir Peaceable Studious solus.

Sir Peaceable Studious

How happy is a private life to me;

Wherein my thoughts ran easily and free;

And not disturb’d with vanities and toyes,

On which the senses gazes, as young boys

On watery bubbles in the aire blown,

Which when they break, doth vanish and are gone.

Enter the Lady Ignorance.

Lady Ignorance

I doubt I disturb your Poetry?

Sir P. Studious

No wife, you rather give life and fire to my muse, being
chaste, fair and vertuous, which are the chief theams for Poets fancies to
work on.

Lady Ignorance

But that wife that is despised by her Husband, and not loved,
is dejected in her own thoughts, and her mind is so disquietted, as it
masks her beauty, and vails, and obscures her vertues.

Sir P. Studious

The truth is, wife, that if my affections to you, had not
been firmly setled; your indiscretion and effeminate follies had ruined it, but
my love is so true, as you have no cause to be jealouse; but I confess you
made me sad, to think that your humour could not sympathize with mine, as
to walk in the same course of life as I did, but you were ignorant and would
not believe me, untill you had found experience by practice, by which practice
you have found my words to be true, do you not?

Lady Ignorance

Yes, so true, as I shall never doubt them more; But pray
Husband, tell me what discourse you had with the Ladies, when you went
abroad with them?

Sir P. Studious

Why, they railed against good Husbands, called them
Uxorious Fools, Clowns, Blocks, Stocks, and that they were only fit to be
made Cuckolds through their confident fondness, and that kind Husbands appeared
like simple Asses; I answered, that those Husbands that were Cuckolds,
appeared not only like silly Asses, but base Cowards, that would suffer
their wives to be courted, and themselves dishonoured when they ought to
destroy their wives Gallants, if visibly known, and to part from their wives, at
least to inancor them, and not only for being false, but for the suspition caused
by their indiscretions; otherwise said I, a kind Husband shews himself a Gallant,
Noble, Generous, Just, Wise man, and contrary, he is a base man, that
will strive to disgrace himself, by disgracing his wife with neglects and disrespects;
and a coward, to tyranize only over the weak, tender, and helpless
Sex; for women being tender, shiftless, and timorous creatures by nature, is
the cause they joyn themselves by chaste Wedlock to us men for their safety,
protection, honour and livelyhood, and when a man takes a woman to his
wife, he is an unworthy and treacherous person, if he betrays her to scorns,
or yields her to scoffs, or leaves her to poverty; and he is a base man that makes his P2r 55 his wife sigh and weep with unkindness either by words or actions, wherefore
said I, it is wisdom for men to respect their wives with a civil behaviour,
and sober regard, and it is heroick to defend, protect and guard their lives and
vertues, to be constant to their vows, promises and protestations, and it is generous
to cherish their health, to attend them in their sickness, to comply with
their harmless humours, to entertain their discourses, to accompany their
persons, to yield to their lawfull desires, and to commend their good graces,
and that man which is a Husband, and doth not do thus, is worthy to be
shamed, and not to be kept company with, which is not called an Uxorious
Husband; for said I, an Uxorious Husband I understand to be, a honest, carefull
and wise Husband.

Lady Ignorance

And what said they, after you said this?

Sir P. Studious

They laugh’d and said, my flowery Rhetorick was strewed
upon a dirty ground; I answered, it was not dirty where I lived, for my wife
was beautifull, chaste and cleanly, and I wished every man the like, and after
they perceived that neither the railing, nor laughing at good Husbands could
not temper me for their palats, they began to play and sport with one another,
and sung wanton songs, and when all their baits failed, they quarreled with
me, and said I was uncivil, and that I did not entertain them well, and that I
was not good Company, having not a conversable wit, nor a gentle behaviour,
and that I was not a gallant Cavalier, and a world of those reproches
and idle discourses, as it would tire me to repeat it, and you to hear
it.

Lady Ignorance

Pray resolve me one question more, what was it you said
to the Lady Amorous, when she threatned to tell me?

Sir P. Studious

I only said nature was unkind to our Sex, in making the
beautifull females cruel.

Lady Ignorance

Was that all, I thought you had pleaded as a courtly Sutor
for loves favours.

Sir P. Studious

No indeed, but let me tell you, and so inform you, wife,
that those humour’d women, take as great a pleasure to make wives jealouse
of their Husbands, and Husbands jealouse of their wives, and to seperate
their affections, and to make a disorder in their Families, as to plot and design
to intice men to court them, & Cuckold their Husband, also let me tell you,
that much company, and continual resort, brings great inconveniences for its
apt to corrupt the mind, and make the thoughts wild, the behaviour bold, the
words vain, the discourse either flattering, rude or tedious, their actions extravagant,
their persons cheap, being commonly oaccompanyed, or their company
common. Besides, much variety of Company, creates amorous luxurie,
vanity, prodigality, jealousie, envie, malice, slander, envie, treachery, quarrels,
revenge and many other evils, as laying plots to insnare the Honorable,
to accuse the Innocent, to deceive the Honest, to corrupt the Chaste, to deboyst
the Temperate, to pick the purse of the Rich, to inslave the poor, to pull down
lawfull Authority, and to break just Laws; but when a man lives to himself
within his own Familie, and without recourse, after a solitary manner, he lives
free, without controul, not troubled with company, but entertains himself
with himself, which makes the soul wise, the mind sober, the thoughts industrious,
the understanding learned, the heart honest, the senses quiet, the appetites
temperate, the body healthfull, the actions just and prudent, the behaviour
civil and sober; He governs orderly, eats peaceably, sleeps quietly, lives
contentedly, and most commonly, plentifully and pleasantly, ruling and governingP2 verning P2v 56 his little Family to his own humour, wherein he commands with love,
and is obeyed with duty, and who that is wise, and is not mad, would quit
this heavenly life to live in hellish Societies, and what can an honest Husband
and wife desire more, than love, peace and plenty, and when they have this,
and is not content, ’tis a sign they stand upon a Quagmire, or rotten Foundation,
that will never hold or indure, that is, they are neither grounded on honesty,
nor supported with honour.

Lady Ignorance

Well Husband, I will not interupt your studies any longer,
but as you study Phylosophie, Wisdom and Invention, so I will study obedience,
discretion and Houswifery.

Omnes Exeunt.

Act III.

Scene 15.

Enter the General, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata, Were you never bred to the Discipline of
War?

Affectionata

Never, my Lord, but what I have been since I came to
you.

Lord Singularity

Why, thou didst speak at the Council of War, as if thou
hadst been an old experienced souldier, having had the practice of fourty
years, which did so astonish the grave Senators and old Souldiers, that they
grew dumb, and for a while did only gaze on thee.

Affectionata

Indeed, my Lord, my young years, and your grave Counsel
did not suit together.

Lord Singularity

But let me tell thee, my boy, thy rational and wise speeches,
and that grave counsels was not mis-match’d.

Affectionata

Pray Heaven I may prove so, as your favours, and your love
may not be thought misplaced.

Lord Singularity

My Love thinks thee worthy of more than I can give thee,
had I more power than sar had.

Exeunt. Scene Q1r 57

Scene 16.

Enter some Commanders.

1. Commander

I hear that the Duke of Venice is so taken with our Generals
adopted Son, as he will adopt him his Son.

2. Commander

Hay-day! I have heard that a Father hath had many Sons,
but never that one Son hath had so many Fathers; but contrary, many Sons
wants fathering.

3. Commander

’Tis true, some Sons hath the misfortune not to be owned,
but let me tell you Lieutenant, there be few children that hath not many such
Fathers; as one begets a childe, a second owns the childe, a third keeps the
childe, which inherits as the right Heir; and if a fourth will adopt the childe;
a fift, or more may do the like, if they please.

1. Commander

So amongst all his Fathers, the right Father is lost.

3. Commander

Faith, the right Father of any childe is seldome known, by
reason that women takes as much delight in deceiving the World, and dissembling
with particular men, as in the cuckolding their Husbands.

2. Commander

The truth is, every several Lover cuckolds one another.

1. Commander

Perchance that is the reason that women strives to have so
many Lovers; for women takes pleasure to make Cuckolds.

3. Commander

And Cuckolds to own children.

Exeunt.

Scene 17.

Enter Affectionata, then enters to him, two or three Venetian Gentlemen,
as Embassadors from the Duke of Venice.

1. Gentleman

Noble Sir, the great Duke of Venice hath sent us to let
you know he hath adopted you his Son, and desires your company.

Affectionata

Pray return the great Duke thanks, and tell him those favours
are too great for such a one as I; but if he could, and would adopt me, as
Augustus Cæsar did Tiberius, and make me master of the whole World; by
Heaven I would refuse it, and rather chose to live in a poor Cottage, with my
most Noble Lord.

2. Gentleman

But you must not deny him; Besides, he will have you.

Affectionata

I will dye first, and rather chose to bury my self in my own
tears, than build a Throne with ingratitude.

1. Gentleman

But it is ungratefull to deny the Duke.

Affectionata

O no, but I should be the ingrate of ingratitude, should I leave
my Noble Lord, who from a low despised poor mean degree, advanced me
to Respect and Dignity: Whose favours I will keep close in my heart,And from his person I will never part.For though I dye, my soul will still attend,And Wait upon him, as his faithfull friend.

Q He Q1v 58 He offers to go away in a melancholly posture and humour, so as not considering the
Gentlemen. Whereupon one of them follows him, and catches hold of his Cloak.

2. Gentleman

Noble Sir, will not you send the Duke an answer?

Affectionata

Have not I answered? Then pray present my thanks in the
most humblest manner to the great Duke, and tell him he may force the presence
of my person, but if he doth, it will be but as a dead carcase without a
living soul; for tell him, when I am from my Lord, I withering vade, as flowers from Sun sight;His presence is to me, as Heavens light.

Affectionata Exit.

1,. Gentleman

’Tis strange that such an honour cannot perswade a boy!

2. Gentleman

That proves him a boy, for if he had been at mans estate, he
would not have refused it, but have been ambitious of it, and proud to receive
it.

1. Gentl

Indeed youth is foolish, and knows not how to chose.

2. Gentl

When he comes to be a man, he will repent the folly of his
youth.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Lady Wagtail not knowing Sir Serious
could speak.

Lady Wagtail

Pray Madam, let me perswade you, not to cast your self
away, to marry a dumb man; for by my troth, all those that are dumb,
are meer fools; for who can be witty or wise that cannot speak, or will not
speak, which is as bad.

Lady Bashfull

Why Madam? wisdom nor wit, doth noth not live nor lye
in words, for prudence, fortitude and temperance, expresses wisdom and capacity;
ingenuity and fancie expresseth wit, and not words.

Lady Wagtail

But let me advise you to chose Sir Humpbhry Bold, he is worth
a thousand of Sir Serious Dumb; besides, he is a more learned man by half,
and speaks several Languages.

Lady Bashfull

Perchance so, and yet not so wise; for Parrots will learn
Languages, and yet not know how to be wise, nor what wisdom is, which is
to have a sound judgement, a clear understanding, and a prudent forecast.

Lady Wagtail

Faith all the World will condemn you to have no forecast,
if you marry Sir Serious Dumb.

Lady Bashfull

Let them speak their worst, I care not, as not fearing their
censures.

Lady Wagtail

You were fearfull and bashfull.

Lady Bashfull

’Tis true, but now am grown so confident with honest love,
I care not if all the World did know of it; nay, I wish it were published
to all ears.

The Q2r 59 The Lady Bashfull offers to go away.

Lady Wagtail

Nay, you must not go, untill you have granted my suit in the
behalf of Sir Humphry Bold.

Lady Bashfull

Pray let me go, for I hate him more, than Heaven hates
Hell.

Lady Wagtail

Nay, then I will leave you.

Exeunt.

Scene 19.

Enter Affectionata, who weeps. Enter the Lord Singularity.

Lord Singularity

Why weepest thou Affectionata?

Affectionata

Alas, my Lord, I am in such a passion, as I shall dye, unless
it flows forth thorough mine eyes, and runs from off my tongue. For like as vapours from the Earth doth rise,And gather into clouds beneath the skies;Contracts to water, swelling like moist veins,When over-fill’d, falls down in showering rains:So thoughts, which from a grieved mind are sent,Ariseth in a vaporous discontent.Contracts to melancholly, which heavy liesUntill it melts, and runs forth through the eyes;Unless the Sun of comfort, dry doth drinkThose watery tears that lyes at the eyes brink;Or that the rayes of joy, which streams bright outWith active heat disperseth them about.

Lord Singularity

Faith Affectionata, I am no good Poet, but thy passion
moves so sweetly in numbers and stops, so just with rhimes, as I cannot but answer
thee, Like as the Sun beauty streams rayes about,A smiling countenance like day breaks out:And though a frown obscures sweet beauties sight,Yet beauties beams makes cloudy frowns more bright.But melancholly beauty doth appearAs pleasing shades, or Summers evenings clear.
So doth thine Affectionata, but prethee do not wast thy breath into sighs, not
distill thy life into tears.

Affectionata

I wish I might here breath my last, and close my eyes for
ever.

Lord Singularity

I perceive Affectionata, you take it unkindly I did perswade
you to take the Dukes offer; But if you think I did it out of any other
design than a true affection to you; By Heaven, you do me wrong by false interpretation.

Q2 Affecti- Q2v 60

Affectionata

If you, my Lord, did love but half so well as I, you would rather
chose to dye, than part with me.

Lord Singularity

I love thee beyond my own interest or delight, for what
is best for thee, I account as the greatest blessing, should it bring me any
other wayes a curse.

Affectionata

Then let me still live with you, for that is best for me.

Lord Singularity

Here I do vow to Heaven, to do my indeavour with my
life to keep thee with me, or to be alwayes where thou art.

Affectionata

O! what a weight you have taken from my soul, wherein my
thoughts like wet-winged-birds sate heavy; my senses like as blinking Lamps
which vaporous damps of grief had neer put out.

Lord Singularity

Let me tell thee Affectionata, I have travelled far, observed
much, and have had divers incounters, but I never met such vertue, found
such truth, nor incountered such an affection as thine.

imbraces him.

The Lord Singularity.[Speaker label not present in original source]

And thus I do imbrace thee, and do wish our souls may twine,

As our each bodyes thus together joyn.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter Sir Serious Dumb, and his Mistriss the Lady Bashfull.

Sir Serious Dumb

Dear Mistriss, do not you repent your favours, and wish
your promise were never made; doth not your affection vade?

Lady Bashfull

No, it cannot, for never was any love placed upon a Nobler
soul than my love is, which is on yours, insomuch, as I do glory in my affection,
and grow self-conceited of its judgement.

Sir Serious Dumb

And will you be constant?

Lady Bashfull

Let not your humble thoughts raise a doubt of jealousie;
for I am fixt, as time is to eternity.

Sir Serious Dumb

Then I thank nature for your Creation, honour for your
Breeding, and heaven for your Vertue, and fortune that hath given you to me,
for I can own nothing of that worth that could deserve you.

Lady Bashfull

I cannot condemn jealousie, because it proceeds from pure
love, and love melts into kinds on a constant heart, but flames like Oyle on a
false one, which sets the whole life on fire.

Sir Serious Dumb

But now I cannot doubt your love nor constancies, since
you have promised your heart to me; for true Lovers are like the light and
the Sun, inseperable.

Exeunt. Scene R1r 61

Scene 21.

Enter some Commanders.

1. Commander

Come fellow-souldiers, are you ready to march?

2. Commander

Whether?

1. Commander

Into our own native Country, for our General is sent for
home.

3. Commander

Except there be wars in our own Country, we cannot go with him.

1. Commander

I know not whether there be wars or peace, but he obeys,
for he is preparing for his journey.

2. Commander

Who shall be General when he is gone?

3. Commander

I know not, but I hear the States offers to make our young
Lieutenant-General, General, but he refuseth it.

2. Commander

Would they would make me General?

3. Commander

If thou wert General, thou wouldst put all method out of
order.

12. Commander

Faith Gentlemen, I would lead you most prudently, and
give you leave to plunder most unanimously.

1. Commannder

And we would fight couragiously, to keep what we plunder.

2. Commander

Come, let us go, and inquire how our affairs goeth.

Exeunt.

Scene 22.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Lord Singularity

Now Affectionata, we have taken our leave of the States:
I hope thy mind is at peace, and freed from fears of being staid.

Affectionata

Yes my my Lord.

Lord Singularity

They did perswade thee much to stay.

Affectionata

They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure.

Lord Singularity

Truly I will say thus much for my self, that I have done
them good service, and I must say thus much for them, that they have rewarded
me well.

Affectionata

I have heard, my Lord, that States seldom rewards a service
done; wherefore I believe, they hope you will return again, and fees you for
that end.

Lord Singularity

I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment
for me.

Affectionata

Methinks, my Lord, since you have gotten a fame abroad, you
should desire to live a setled life at home.

R Lord R1v 62

Lord Singularity

A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife
nor children.

Affectionata

You may have both, If you please, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

For children I desire none, since I have thee, and wives I
care not for, but what are other mens.

Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity.

Lord Singularity

From whence comest thou friend?

Messenger

From Rome, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

If you please to stay in the next room, I shall speak to you
presently.

Messenger Exit. The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata, From whence do you think this Letter
comes?

Affectionata

I cannot guess, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

From the Pope, who hath heard so much of thy youth,
vertue, wit and courage, as he desires me to pass thorough Rome imn my journey
home, that he might see thee.

Affectionata

Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery,
and force me to stay behind you.

Lord Singularity

If he should, I will take the habit, and be incloistered
with thee; but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto.

Affectionata

Truly my Lord, I have no will to be a Fryer.

Lord Singularity

Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life, which all heroick
Spirits shames, for those loves liberty and action: But I will go and dispatch
this Messenger, and to morrow we will begin our journey.

Exeunt.

Scene 23.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and the Lady Amorous

Lady Wagtail

Faith Amorous, it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging
off, if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner, and
could have infettered him in Cupid’s bonds.

Lady Amorous

It had been a victory indeed, for I will undertake to inslave
five Courtiers, and ten Souldiers, sooner, and in less time than one studious
Scholar.

Lady Wagtail

But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious
Courtiers, or deboist Souldiers.

Lady Amorous

O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits, but a
study quenches them out.

Lady Wagtail

One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious, but not by some
other Scholars that I am acquainted with.

Lady R2r 63

Lady Amorous

But confess, Lady Wagtail, do not you find a studious Scholar
dull company, in respect of a vain Courtier, and a rough Souldier.

Lady Wagtail

I must confess, they that study Philosophy, are little too
much inclined to morality, but those that study Theologie, are not so restringent.

Lady Amorous

Well, for my part, since I have been acquainted with Sir
Peaceable Studious
, I hate all Scholars.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter three Men, as the Inhabitants of Rome.

1. Man.

Tis a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity’s Son is, should have
so great a wit, as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals.

2. Man

The greater wonder is, that he should have the better of them!

1. Man

’Tis said the Pope doth admire him! and is extreamly taken with
him.

2. Man

If Jove had so much admired him, he would have made him his
Ganimed.

1. Man

He offered to make him a living Saint, but he thanked his Holyness,
and said, he might Saint him, but not make him holy enough to be a
Saint, for said he, I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me, that cannot offer
Prayers as I ought, or live as I should; then he offered him a Cardinals hat,
but he refused it; saying he was neither wise enough, nor old enough for to
accept of it; for said he, I want Ulisses head, and Nestors years to be a Cardinal,
for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint, yet politick
wisdom is required.

3. Man

Pray Neighbours tell me which way, and by what means I may
see this wonderfull youth; for I have been out of the Town, and not heard of
him.

2. Man

You cannot see him now, unless you will follow him where he is
gone.

1. Man

Why, whether is he gone?

2. Man

Into his own Country, and hath been gone above this week.

3. Man

Nay, I cannot follow him thither.

Exeunt.

Scene 25.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata, as being in the
Country.

Lord Singularity

Affectionata, you have promised me to be ruled by me in
every thing, so that you may not part from me.

Affectionata

I have, my Lord, and will obey all your commands, so far as
I am able.

R2 Lord R2v 64

Lord Singularity

Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own
Country, to get thee a wife, that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity.

Affectionata

Jove bless me, a wife! by Heaven, my Lord, I am not man
enouugh to marry!

Lord Singul

There is many as young as you, that have been Fathers, and
have had children.

Affectionata

If they were such as I am, they might father Children, but
never get them.

Lord Singularity

Thou art modest, Affectionata, but I will have you marry,
and I will chose thee such a wife, as modest as thy self.

Affectionata

Then we never shall have children, Sir.

Lord Singul

Love and acquaintance will give you confidence; but tell
me truly, Affectionata, didst thou never court a Mistriss?

Affectionata

No truly, Sir.

Lord Singularity

Well, I will have you practice Courtship, and though I
will not directly be your Baud or Pimp, yet I will send you amongst the effeminate
Sex, where you may learn to sport with Ladies, as well as fight with
Turks.

Affectionata speaks softly to her self;

pray Jove they do not search me.

Exeunt.

Scene 26.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Wagtail

I can tell you news?

Lady Amorous

What news?

Lady Wagtail

Sir Serious Dumb can speak again!

Lady Amorous

I am sorrow for that, for now he may tell tales out of
School.

Lady Wagtail

If he do, we will whip him with the rods of tongues, which
is more sharp than the rods of wyer.

Lady Amorous

We may whip him with words, but we our selves shall feel
the smart of reproch.

Lady Wagtail

How simply you talk, as if reproch could hurt a woman;
when reproch is born with us, and dyes with us.

Lady Amorous

If reproch have no power of our Sex, why are all women
so carefull to cover their faults, and so fearfull to have their crimes divulged.

Lady Wagtail

Out of two reasons; first, because those of the masculine
Sex, which have power, as Fathers, Uncles, Brothers and Husbands; would
cut their throats, if they received any disgrace by them; for disgrace belongs
more to men than women: The other reason is, that naturally women loves
secrets; yet there is nothing they can keep secret, but their own particular
faults, neither do they think pleasure sweet, but what is stollen.

Lady Amorous

By your favour, women cannot keep their own faults secret.

Lady S1r 65

Lady Wagtail

O yes, those faults that may ruine them if divulged, but they
cannot keep a secret that is delivered to their trust; for naturally women
are unfit for trust, or council.

Lady Amorous

But we are fit for faction.

Lady Wagtail

The World would be but a dull World, if it were not for
industrious factions.

Lady Amorous

The truth is, that if it were not for faction, the World
would lye in the cradle of Peace, and be rock’d into a quiet sleep of security.

Lady Wagtail

Prethee talk not of quiet, and peace, and rest, for I hate them
as bad as death.

Lady Amorous

Indeed they resemble death, for in death there is no wars
nor noise.

Lady Wagtail

Wherefore it is natural for life, neither to have rest nor
peace, being caontrary to death.

Exeunt.

Act IV.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Affectionata

My Lord, I hear the King hath invited you to attend him
in his progress this Summer.

Lord Singularity

Yes, but I have made my excuse, and have got leave to
stay at home; for I will tell thee truly, that I had rather march ten miles
with an Artillery, than travel one with a Court; and I had rather fight a battel,
than be bound to ceremony, or flattery, which must be practised if one
live at Court: Besides, I have been bred to lead an Armie, and not to follow
a Court; And the custom of the one have made me unacquainted, and so
unfit for the other; for though I may truly say I am a good Souldier, yet I
will confess ingenuously to thee, I am a very ill Courtier.

Affectionata

I think they are the most happiest, that are least acquainted
with a great Monarchs Court.

Lord Singularity

I will tell thee a discourse upon this theam in the time of
Henry the eighth of England, there were many Courtiers of all degrees about
him, and the theam of their discourse was, who was the happiest man in
England; So all the Nobles and inferiour Courtiers agreed unanimously it
was his Majesty, and it could be no man else; and they all said, that their
judgements was so clear in that point, that it could not admit of a contradiction,
or dispute: Said Henry the eighth, by the body of our Lord, you
are all mistaken; then said one of the Courtiers, I beseech your Majesty to
tell us who is the happiest man; By the Lord, said the King, that Gentleman
that lives to his profit, and dare moderately spend for his pleasure, and
that neither knows me, nor I know him, he is the happiest man in the Kingdom;
and I am of Henry the eights opinion; but howsoever, it were better
to be such a one that goeth with the bagge and baggage of an Armie, than
one of the tail of a Court.

S Affecti- S1v 66

Affectionata

But you Lordship would not refuse to be as the chief, as to
be a Favourite; for a Favourite is more sought, feared and flattered, than the
King himself.

Lord Singularity

I think I should not refuse to be a Favourite, by reason a
Favourite is a General to command, Martial and Conduct in all affairs, both
at home and abroad, in peace and in war, and all by the power and authority
of the commission of Favourites.

Affectionata

Which Commission hath a greater and larger extent than any
other Commission.

Lord Singularity

You say right, for it extends as far as the Kings power.

Exeunt.

Scene 2728.

Enter the Lady Bashfull, and Reformer her woman.

Reformer

Madam, shall your wedding be private, or publick?

Lady Bashfull

Private.

Reformer

I wonder you will have it private.

Lady Bashfull

Why do you wonder?

Reformer

Because the wedding-day is the only triumphant day of a young
maids life.

Lady Bashfull

Do you call that a triumphant day, that inslaves a woman
all her life after; no, I will make no triumph on that day.

Reformer

Why, you had better have one day than none.

Lady Bashfull

If my whole life were triumphant, it would be but as one
day when it was past, or rather as no day nor time, for what is past, is as if it
never were; and for one day I will never put my self to that ceremonious
trouble, which belongs to feasting, revelling, dressing and the like.

Reformer

I perceive your Ladyship desires to be undrest upon the Wedding-day.

Lady Bashfull

No, that I do not, but as I will not be carelesly undrest, so
I will not be drest for a Pageant shew.

Exeunt.

Scene 2829.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Affectionata

I think there is no Family more methodically ordered, prudently
governed than your Lordships.

Lord Singularity

It were a disgrace to my profession, if I should not well
know how to command; for a good Commander in the field, can tell how
to be a good Manager in his private Family, although a prudent Master of a
Family knows not how to be a skilfull Commander in the field; but a prudent
Master must have a trusty Steward, so a knowing General must have a care- S2r 67 carefull and skilfull Lieutenant-General, or else he will be very much troubled;
also both Master and General must have other Officers, or else they will
not find their Accounts or Conquests as he hopes or expects, For neither
General nor Master can order every particular command, nor rectifie every
particular errour himself; for a Generals Office, is only to direct, order and
command the chief Officers, and not the common Souldiers: So the Master
of a Family, is only to direct, order and command his Steward, he the rest of
the Officers, and the common servants, every one must order those that belongs
to their several Offices.

Affectionata

Then the common Servants are like the common Souldiers.

Lord Singularity

They are so, and are as apt to mutiny, if they be not
used with strickt discipline: Thus, if a Master of a Family have the right
way in the management of his particular affairs, he may thrive easily, have
plenty, live peaceably, be happy, and carry an honourable port with an indifferent
Estate, when those of much greater Estates, which knows not, nor
practices the right method, or rules and governs not with strictness, his servants
shall grow factious, mutinous, and be alwaies in bruleries, by which
disorders his Estate shall waste invisible, his servants cozen egregiously; he
lives in penurie, his servants in riot, alwaies spending, yet alwaies wanting,
forced to borrow, and yet hath so much, that if it were ordered with prudence,
might be able to lend, when by his imprudence, he is troubled with
stores, yet vex’d with necessity.

Affectionata

I should think that no man ought to be a Master of a Family,
but those that can govern orderly and peaceably.

Lord Singularity

You say right, for every Master of a Family are petty-
Kings, and when they have rebellions in their own small Monarchies, they are
apt to disturb the general Peace of the whole Kingdom or State they live in;
for those that cannot tell how to command their own Domesticks, and prudently
order rtheir own affairs, are not only uselesse to the Common-wealth,
but they are pernicious and dangerous, as not knowing the benefit and necessity
of obedience and method.

Exeunt.

Scene 2930.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Wagtail

The Lord Singularity hath brought home the sweetest, and
most beautifullest young Cavalier, as ever I saw.

Lady Amorous

Faith he appears like Adonas.

Lady Wagtail

Did you ever see Adonas?

Lady Amorous

No, but I have heard the Poets describe him.

Lady Wagtail

Venus and Adonas are only two poetical Ideas, or two Ideas in poetical brains.

Lady Amorous

Why, Ideas hath no names.

Lady Wagtail

O yes, for Poets christens their Ideas with names, as orderly
as Christians Fathers doth their children.

Lady Amorous

Well, I wish I were a Venus for his sake.

S2 Lady S2v 68

Lady Wagtail

But if you were only a poetical Venus, you would have little
pleasure with your Adonas.

Lady Amorous

Hay ho! He is a sweet youth.

Lady Wagtail

And you have sweet thoughts of the sweet youth.

Lady Amorous

My thoughts are like Mirtle-groves to entertain the Idea of the Lord Singularity’s Son.

Lady Wagtail

Take heed there be not a wild-boar in your Mirtle Imagenarie
Grove, that may destroy your Adonas Idea.

Lady Amorous

There is no beast there, only sweet singing-birds called
Nightingals.

Exeunt.

Scene 3031.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and Affectionata.

Affectionata

Pray, my Lord, what Lady is that you make such inquiry
for?

Lord Singularity

She is a Lady I would have thee marry; One that my
Father did much desire I should marry, although she was very young, and
may be now about thy years. I hear her Father is dead, but where the Lady
is, I cannot find out.

Affectionata

Perchance she is married, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

Then we should find her out, by hearing who she hath
marryed.

Affectionata

But if she be not marryed, she being as old as I, I am too
young for her, for Husbands should be older than their wives.

Lord Singularity

But she is one that is well born, well bred, and very rich;
and though thou are young in years, yet thou art an aged man in judgment,
prudence, understanding, and for wit, as in thy flourishing strength.

Affectionata

Perchance, my Lord, she will not like me, as neither my
years, my person, nor my birth.

Lord Singularity

As for thy years, youth is alwayes accepted by the effeminate
Sex; and thy person she cannot dislike, for thou art very handsom,
and for thy birth, although thou art meanly born, thou hast a noble nature, a
sweet disposition, a vertuous soul, and a heroick spirit; Besides, I have adopted
thee my Son, and the King hath promised to place my Titles on thee, and
hath made thee Heir of my whole Estate, for to maintain thee according to
those Dignities.

Affectionata

But I had rather live unmarried, my Lord, if you will give
consent.

Lord Singularity

But I will never consent to that, and if you be dutifull
to me, you will marry such a one as I shall chose for you.

Affectionata

I shall obey whatsoever you command, for I have nothing
but my obedience to return for all your favours.

Lord Singularity

Well, I will go and make a strickt inquiry for this
Lady.

Lord Singularity Exit. Affecti- T1r 69 Affectionata alone.

Affectionata

Hay ho! what will this come to, I would I were in my Grave;
for love and fear doth torture my poor life; Heaven strike me dead! or make
me this Lords wife.

Exeunit.

Scene 3132.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and the Lady Amorous

Lady Amorous

How shall we compass the acquaintance of the Lord Singularity’s
Son?

Lady Wagtail

Faith Amorous, thou lovest boys, but I love men; wherefore
I would be acquainted with the Lord Singularity himself; Besides, his adopted
Son was a poor Beggar-boy ’tis said, and I cannot love one that is basely
born.

Lady Amorous

His birth may be honourably, though poor, and of low and
mean descent; for if he was born in honest wedlock, and of honest Parents,
his birth cannot be base.

Lady Wagtail

O yes, for those that are not born from Gentry, are like course
brown bread, when Gentry of ancient descent, are like flower often boulted
to make white manchert.

Lady Amorous

By that rule, surely he came from a Noble and Ancient
Race; for I never saw any person more white and finely shap’d in my life
than he is; and if fame speaks true, his actions have proved he hath a Gentlemans
soul; But say he were meanly born, as being born from a Cottager, yet
he is not to be despised nor disliked, nor to be lesse esteemed, or beloved, or to
be thought the worse of, for was Lucan lesse esteemed for being a Stone-Cutter,
or his wit lesse esteemed; or was King David lesse esteemed or obeyed, for
being a Shepheard; or the Apostles lesse esteemed or believed, for being Fisher
men
, Tent-makers or the like; or the man that was chosen from the Plough,
to be made Emperour; I say, was he lesse esteemed for being a Plough-man?
No, he was rather admired the more; or was Horace esteemed, or his Poems
thought the worse, for being Son to a freed man, which had been a slave; or
was Homer lesse admired, or thought the worse Poet, for being a poor blind
man, and many hundred that I cannot name, that hath gained fame, and
their memories lives with Honour and Admiration in every Age, and in every
Nation, Kingdom, Country and Family, and it is more worthy, and those
persons ought to have more love and respect, that have merit, than those that
have only Dignity, either from favour of Princes, or descended from their
Ancestors; for all derived Honours, are poor and mean, in respect of self-
creating honour, and they only are to be accounted mean and base, that are so
in themselves; but those that are born from low and humble Parents, when
they have merits, and have done worthy actions, they are placed higher in
fames Court, and hath more honour by fames report, which sounds their
praises louder than those of greater descent, although of equal worth and
merit, and justly, for it is more praise-worthy, when those that were the T lowest T1v 70 lowest, and are as it were trod into the earth, or was born, as the phrase is,
from the Dunghill, should raise themselves equal to the highest, who keeps
but where they were placed by birth; but many times they keep not their
place, but fall from the Dignity of their birth, into the myer of baseness,
treachery and treason, when the other rises as the Sun out of a cloud of darknesse,
darting forth glorious beams thorough all that Hemisphere.

Lady Wagtail

I perceive by your discourse, Lovers are the best Disputers;
Orators, and as I have heard, the best Poets; But I never heard you discourse
so well, nor speak so honourably in all my life, wherefore I am confident, ’twas
love spake, not you.

Exeunt.

Act V.

Scene 3233.

Enter Affectionata, Nurse Fondly, and Foster Trusty her
Husband.

Nurse Fondly

My child, we can no longer conceal you, for we are accused
of murthering you, and are summoned to appear before a Judge
and Jury.

AFffectionata

For Heaven sake, conceal me as long as youu can; for if I be
known, I shall be utterly ruined with disgrace.

Nurse Fondly

Whose fault was it? I did advise you otherwise, but you
would not be ruled, nor counselled by me; and my Husband like an unwise
man, did assist your childish desires.

Foster Trusty

Well wife, setting aside your wisdom, let us advise what is
best to be done in this case.

Nurse Fondly

In this case we are either to be hanged, or she is to be disgraced;
and for my part, I had rather be hanged, for I am old, and cannot
live long.

Foster Trusty

If you were a young wench, thou mightest chance to escape
hanging, the Judges would have taken pity on thee, but being old, will condemn
thee without mercy.

Nurse Fondly

If I were not a pretty wench, and the Jurie amorous men,
at least the Judges so, I should be hanged neverthelesse.

Affectionata

Come, come, Foster Father, and Nurse, let us go and advise.

Exeunt. Scene T2r 71

Scene 3334.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and a Captain.

Lady Wagtail

Pray tell me, what manner of Country is Italy?

Captain

In short, Madam, there is more Summer than Winter, more
Fruit than Meat, and more meat than Hospitality.

Lady Wagtail

Why Captain, fruit is meat.

Captain

I mean flesh-meat.

Lady Wagtail

Out upon that Country, that hath neither Flesh nor Hospitality!
But Captain, what are the natures, dispositions, and manners of the
Italians?

Captain

In general, Madam, thus, their natures, dispositions, and manners
are, as generally all other people of every other Nation are, for the generality
of every Nation are alike, in natures, dispositions, and persons; that is,
some are of good, and some are of bad, some handsom, and some ill-favoured;
but for the most part, there are more ill-favoured than handsom, more
foul than fair, and the general manner of the whole World is, to offer more
than present, to promise more than perform, to be more faigning than real,
more courtly than friendly, more treacherous than trusty, more covetous than
generous, and yet more prodigal than covetous; but as for the Italians, they are more luxurious than gluttonous, and they love pleasures more than
Heaven.

Lady Wagtail

They have reason, by my troth; for who can tell whether
in Joves Mansion, there are so many sweet and delightfull pleasures, as in this
World: But Captain, you do not tell me what pleasure the women have in
Italy?

Captain

Those women that are married, are restrain’d and barr’d from all
courtly pleasure, or as I may say, the pleasure of Courtships; but the Courtezans
have liberty to please themselves, and to be their own carvers.

Lady Wagtail

And there is nothing I love so well, as to carve both for my
self and others.

Captain

And there is no Nation in the World, so curious, and ingenuous
in the art of carving, as the Italians.

Lady Wagtail

I am resolved to go into Italy, if it be but to learn the art of
carving, but I will leave my Husband behind me; for you say, wives have
not that free liberty of carving, and if I leave my Husband, I may pass for a
Widow, though not for a maid.

Captain

But Madam, you are past your travelling years, for the best time
for women to travel, is about twenty.

Lady Wagtail

By your favour, Sir, a woman never grows old, if she can
but conceal her age, and say she is young.

Captain

But she must often repeat it.

Lady Wagtail

She must so, which she may easily do, talking much, for
women wants not words, neither are we sparing of them; But Captain, I
must intreat your company, for you are acquainted with the Country, and
hath the experience of the humours and natures of that people, and having
been a Souldier and a Traveller, will not be to seek in the wayes of our journey.

T2 Captain. T2v 72

Captain

I shall wait upon you, Madam.

Lady Wagtail

No Captain, you shall be as Master, to command, and I
will be your Servant to obey.

Captain

You shall command me, Madam.

Exeunt.

Scene 3435.

Enter Affectionata alone.

The Lady Orphant.[Speaker label not present in original source]

O! How my soul is tormented with love, shame, grief and fear

she stops a
little

The Lady Orphant.[Speaker label not present in original source]

I am in love, but am ashamed to make it known, Besides, I
have given the World cause to censure me, not only in concealing of my Sex,
and changing of my habit, but being alwaies in the company of Men, acting
a masculine part upon the Worlds great Stage, and to the publick view; but
could I live thus concealed, I should be happy, and free from censure: But O
curst fortune! that pleasure takes in crossing Lovers, and busie time that
makes all things as restless as it self, doth strive for to divulge my acts, when
I have no defence, or honest means for to conceal them; for if I do oppose,
I shall become a Murtherer, and bear a guilty conscience to my grace, which
may torment my soul, when as my body is turn’d to dust.

Stops.

The Lady Orphant.[Speaker label not present in original source]

But since there is no remedy, iI’l weep my sorrows forth, and with the water
of my tears, iI’l strive to quench the blushing heat, that like quick lightening,
flashes in my face.

Enter the Lord Singularity, finding Affectionata Weeping.

Lord Singularity

My dear Affectionata, What makes thee so melancholly,
as to be alwaies weeping?

Affectionata

I must confess, my Lord, here of late my eyes have been like
Egypt, when it is over-flown with Nilus, and all my thoughts like Crockodiles.

Lord Singularity

What is the cause?

Affectionata

Alas, my Lord, causes lyes so obscure, they are seldom
found.

Lord Singularity

But the effects may give us light to judge what causes
are.

Affectionata

Effects deceives, and often cozens us, by reason one effect may
be produced from many several causes, and several effects proceeds from one
cause.

Lord Singularity

But thy tears seems as if they were produced from some
passion.

Affectionata

Indeed they are produced from passions and appetites, for passions
are the rayes of the mind, and appetites the vapour of the senses, and
the rayes of my mind hath drawn up the vapour of my senses into thick moist
clouds, which falls in showering tears.

Lord Singularity

Tell me thy griefs, and thy desires, that I may help the
one, and ease the other.

Affecti- U1r 73

Affectionata

Alas, my Lord, I cannot, for they lye in the conceptions, and
conceptions ariseth like mysts, and my thoughts like clouds, lyes one above
another.

Lord Singularity

Come, come, let reason the Sun of the soul verifie those
misty conceptions, and disperse this dull humour, that the mind may be clear,
and the thoughts serene.

Affectionata

I will strive to bring in the light of mirth.

Exeunt.

Scene 3536.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, the Lady Amorous, and Sir
Humphry Bold
.

Lady Wagtail

Good Sir Humphry Bold, carry us to the Court of Judicature,
to hear the great Tryal, which is said to be to day.

Sir Humphry Bold

You would go to hear the condemnation of an old man,
and his old wife.

Lady Wagtail

No, we would go to hear the confessions, as whether they
have murthered the young Lady that is missing, or not.

Sir Humphry bBold

Why, that you may hear from other relations, as well
as from their own mouths, and so save you so much pains and trouble, as you
will have to get a place, and to stand so long a time, as the examining, accusing,
confessing, freeing, or condemning, which will require so long a time, as
Ladies will find great inconveniencies, and be put mightily to it.

Lady Wagtail

But I long to hear and see the manner of it.

Sir Humphry Bold

I will wait upon you, but you will be very much
crouded.

Lady Amorous

I had rather see them hanged, if they be guilty, than hear
them judged and condemned.

Sir Humphry Bold

Why, a condemning Judge is the chief Hang-man,
for he hangs with his word, as the other with a cord.

Lady Wagtail

Will the Lord Singularity be there?

Sir Humphry Bold

Yes certainly, for he is the man that doth accuse
them.

Lady Amorous

And will his Son be there?

Sir Humphry Bold

I know not that.

Exeunt. U scene U1v 74

Scene 3637.

Enter the Judges and Jury-men, as in a Court of Judicature; the
Lord Singularity, Foster Trusty, and Nurse Fondly,
and many others to hear them.

Judges

Who accuses these persons of murther?

Lord Singularity

I, my Lord.

Foster Trusty

We beseech your Honours, not to condemn us before you
have found us guilty.

Lord Singularity

It is a proof sufficient, my Lord, they cannot clear themselves,
or produce the party that was delivered to their trust and care.

Judges

Jurie, do you find them guilty or not?

Juries

Guilty, my Lord.

Judges

Then from the Jurie, we can ――

Enter Affectionata, drest very fine in her own Sexes habit, and stops the Judges
sentence.

Affectionata

Hold, condemn not these innocent persons for their fidelity,
constancy and love; I am that maid they are accused to murther, and by good
circumstances can prove it.

All the Assembly, Judges and Jurie, seems as in a maze at her beauty, and stares
on her. The Lord Singularirty, as soon as he seeth her, starts back,
then goeth towards her, his eyes all the time fixt on her; speaking
as to himself.

Lord Singularity

Sure it is that face.

He takes her by the Hand, and turns her to the light;

The Lord Singularity.[Speaker label not present in original source]

are not you my Affectionata, whom I adopted my Son.

Affectionata

Shame stops my breath, and chokes the words I should
utter.

Lord Singularity

For Heaven sake speak quickly, release my fears, or
crown my joyes.

Affectionata

My Lord, pray pardon loves follies, and condemn not my
modesty for dissembling my Sex; for my designs were harmless, as only to
follow you as a servant: For by Heaven, my Lord? my only desire was, that
my eyes, and my eares might be fed with the sight of your person, and sound
of your voice, which made me travel to hear, and to see you: But since I am
discovered, I will otherwise conceal my self, and live as an Anchoret from the
view of the World.

Lord Singularity

Pray let me live with you.

Affectionata

That may not be, for an Anchoret is to live alone.

Lord Singularity

If you will accept of me for your husband, we shall be
as one.

Affecti- U2r 75

Affectionata

You have declared against marriage, my Lord.

Lord Singularity

I am converted, and shall become so pious a devote, as
I shall offer at no Alter but Hymens, and since I am your Convert, refuse me
not.

Affectionata

I love too well to refuse you.

He kneels down on one knee, and kisses her hand.

Lord Singularity

Here on my knee I do receive you as a blessing, and a
gift from the Gods.

He riseth.

Affectionata

Most Reverend Judges, and Grave Jury, sentence me not with
censure, nor condemn me to scandals, for waiting as a Man, and serving as a
Page; For though I dissembled in my outward habit and behaviour, yet I
was alwaies chaste and modest in my nature.

Exeunt.

Scene 3738.

Enter the Lady Wagtail, and Lady Amorous.

Lady Wagtail

Now Lady Amorous, is your mind a Mirtel-grove, and your
thoughts Nightingals to entertain the Idea of your Adonas.

Lady Amorous

Her discovery hath proved the boar that kill’d him; but I
desire much to be at my Adonas Funeral, which is the Lady Orphants wedding.

Lady Wagtail

I am acquainted with some of the Lord Singularity’s Captains
and Officers, and I will speak to some of them to speak to the Lord
Singularity
to invite us.

Lady Amorous

I pray do, for since my Adonas is dead, I will strive to inamour
Mars, which is the Lord Singularity himself.

Lady Wagtail

Faith, that is unfriendly done, for I have laid my designs for
himself.

Lady Amorous

I fear both of our designs may come to nothing, he is so
inamoured with his own She-Page, or female Son.

Exeunt.

Scene 3839.

Enter Nurse Fondly, and Foster Trusty.

Nurse Fondly

O Husband! This is the joyfullest day that ever I had in
my whole life, except at mine own wedding.

Foster Trusty

Indeed, this day is a day of Jubile.

U2 Nurse U2v 76

Nurse Fondly

Of Juno, say you; but Husband, have you provided good
chear, and enough; for here are a world of Guests come, more than was
invited, and you being Master Steward, will be thought to blame, if there be
any thing wanting.

Foster Trusty

If you be as carefull to dress the Brides Chamber, as I to
provide for the bridal Guest, you nor I shall be in a fault.

Nurse Fondly

I faith, if you have done your part, as I have done my part,
we shall deserve praise.

Foster Trusty

I faith, we are almost so old, that we are almost past
praise.

Nurse Fondly

None can merit praise, but those in years; for all Worthy,
Noble and Heroick Acts requires time to do them, and who was ever wise,
that was young?

Foster Trusty

And few are praised that are old, for as fame divulgeth merits,
so time wears out praise, for time hath more power than fame, striving to
destroy what fame desires to keep. The truth is, time is a Glutton, for he
doth not only strive to destroy what fame divulgeth, but what himself begets
and produceth.

Exeunt.

Scene 3940.

Enter the Lord Singularity, and the Lady Orphant, as Bride and
Bride-groom, and a company of Bridal-guests.
Enter Musitians, and meets them.

Musitioners

We desire your Excellence will give us leave to present you
with a Song written by my Lord Marquiss of New-Castle.

Lord Singularity

Your present could have never been less acceptable, by
reason it will retard my marriage.

Lady Orphant

Pray, my Lord, hear them.

Lord Singularity

Come, come, dispatch, dispatch.

He seems not to listen to them. All the time his eyes fixt on the Bride.

Musicians[Speaker label not present in original source]

Song.

Love in thy younger age,

Thou then turn’d Page;

When love then stronger grew,

The bright sword drew.

Then Love it was thy fate

To advise in State.

My Love adopted me

His childe to be.

Then offered was my hap

A Cardinals Cap.

Loves juglings thus doth make

The Worlds mistake.

Lady V1r 77

Lord Singularity

By Heaven, Musitioners, you are all so dillotarie with
your damnable and harsh prologue of tuning before you play, as the next
Parliament will make it felony in Fidlers, if not treason, when your Great
Royal Eares; begin with a Pox to you.

Musitians

Why, my Noble Lord, we have done.

Lord Singularity

By Heaven, there spake Apollo! Give them ten Pieces.

Musitians

Madam, an Eppilanian! we have more to express our further
joy, and then we will pray for blessings on you both.

Lord Singularity

O! It will be my funeral song, you rogues, know all delays
doth kill me; and at this time your best Musick sounds harsh, and out of
tune.

Lady Orphant

Pray let them sing that one song more; so ends your trouble
of them.

Lord Singularity

Begin, quick, quick.

Musicians[Speaker label not present in original source]

Song.

O Love, some says thou art a Boy!

But now turn’d Girl, thy Masters joy.

Now cease all thy fierce alarms,

In circles of your loving arms.

Who can express the joys to night,

’Twil charm your senses with delight.

Nay, all those pleasures you’l controul,

With joyning your each soul to soul.

Thus in Loves raptures live, till you

Melting, dissolve into a dew;

And then your aery journey take,

So both one constellation make.

The Song done, the Musick playes, as the Bride
and Bridegroom goeth.

Finis