181 Zz1r 181

The firſt Part of the Lady Contemplation.

The Actors Names.

Lord Title.

Lord Courtſhip.

Sir Experience Traveller.

Sir Fancy Poet.

Sir Golden Riches.

Sir Effeminate Lovely.

Sir Vain Complement.

Sir Humphrey Interruption.

Mr. Adviſer.

Doctor Practiſe, and other Gentlemen.

Tom Purveyer.

Roger Farmer.

Old Humanity.

Servants, and others.

The Lady Contemplation.

The Lady Converſation.

The Lady Viſitant.

The Lady Ward.

The Lady Virtue.

the Lady Amorous.

Mrs. Troubleſome.

Mrs. Governeſſe, the Lady Virtues Attendant.

Nurſe Careful, Nurſe to Lady Ward.

Maudling Huſwife, Roger Farmers wife.

Mall Mean-bred, the daughter.

Nan Scrape-all, Maid to the Lady Virtue.

Zz Act 182 Zz1v 182

The firſt Part of the Lady Contemplation.

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Viſitant.

Viſitant

What Lady Contemplation, mu ſing by your ſelf alone?

Contemplation

Lady Viſitant, I would you had been ten miles off, rather than to have broken my Contemplation.

Viſitant

Why, are you ſo godly, to be ſo ſerious at your Devotion?

Contemplation

No faith, they were Contemplations that pleaſ’d me better than Devotion could have done; for thoſe that contemplate of Heaven, muſt have death in their mind.

Viſitant

O no, for there is no Death in Heaven to diſturb the joyes thereof.

Contemplation

But we muſt dye before we come to receive thoſe joyes; and the terrifying thoughts of Death, take away the pleaſing thoughts of Heaven.

Viſitant

Prethee let me know thoſe pleaſing thoughts.

Contemplation

I did imagine my ſelf ſuch a Beauty, as Nature never made the like, both for Perſon, Favour, and Colour, and a Wit anſwerable to my Beauty, and my Breeding and Behaviour anſwerable to both, my Wiſdome excelling all: And if I were not thus as I ſay, yet that every one ſhould think I were ſo; for opinion creates more, and perfecter Beauties, than Nature doth. And then that a great Powerful Monarch, ſuch a one as Alexander, or Cæſar, fell deſperately in love with me, ſeeing but my Picture, which was ſent all about the world; yet my Picture (I did imagine) was to my diſadvantage, not flattering me any wayes; yet this Prince to be inamoured with this ſhadow for the ſubſtance ſake: Then Love perſwaded him to ſend me his Picture, which repreſented him to the life, being extreamly handſome, yet had a manly and wiſe countenance. This Picture being brought be Embaſſadours, which Embaſſadours when they came, treated with me about marriage with this ſole Emperor, all other Kings and Princes being but Tributaries; receiving theſe Embaſſadours with great civility and reſpect, yet behaving my ſelf with a reſerved and Majeſtical behaviour, which the Embaſſadours obſerving, ſaid, I was the only Lady that was fit to be the only Emperours wife, both for my Beauty, Carriage, and Wit: When after a modeſt Fear, and ſeeming Humility, I had reaſon’d againſt the marriage, at laſt by their perſwaſion I conſented; then was there Poſt after Poſt, and Meſſenger after Meſſenger, ſent with letters from the Emperour to me, and from me to the Emperour; he admiring my letters, for the elegancy of the ſtile, and eloquency of the wit, and admiring my Picture for the beauty; one while read- 183 Zz2r 183 reading my letters, and another while viewing my Picture, made him impatient for my Company, which made him ſend to his Embaſſadours, that with all ſpeed they ſhould bring me away, ſending to all the Princes whoſe Kingdomes I was to paſſe thorow, that they ſhould guard me with Armyes, but not retard me with Olimpias, or the like, but to convey me ſafe and ſpeedily: Whereupon I took my Journey (moſt of the Kingdome where I was born petitioning to wait on me); but by reaſon I could not take them all, unleſſe I ſhould depopulate the Kingdome, I would carry none, leſt I ſhould diſpleaſe thoſe that were to be left behind; but as I went out of the City where I dwelt, all the ſtreets were ſtrewed with dead Lovers, which had lived only on hopes, ſo long as I lived amongſt them: But when they knew for certain I was to depart, their hopes vaniſhed, and they dyed with deſpair. The Embaſſadours ſeeing ſuch a Mortality, cauſed the Army that was my guard to march apace, and my Coaches to trundle away, thinking it was the Plague; but at laſt, after my Beauty had killed millions in the Kingdomes I paſſed thorow, I arrived at that part of the world where the Emperour was, who was a joyed man to hear of my coming, and had made great preparations againſt my arrival; but ſome few dayes before my arrival, he ſent a Chariot which was made of the thinneſt plated gold, becauſe it ſhould be light in the Carriage, but the body of the Chariot was enameled and ſet with precious ſtones, the Horſes trappings were only great Chains of pearls, but the horſes reigns were Chains of gold, that might be ſtrong enough to check their hot Spirits, and ſwift ſpeed; as for my ſelf, I was only cloathed in white Satin, and a Crown of Diamonds on my head, like a Bride, for I was to be marryed as ſoon as I met the Emperour; but as I paſt along, all the Highwayes were beſet with Crouds of people, which thronged to ſee me, and when they ſaw me, they cryed out I was an Angel ſent from the Gods; but your coming ſpoyl’d the Triumph, and brake the Marriage.

Viſitant

No, no it is retarded for a time, the next muſing Contemplation the marriage Nuptial will be.

Contemplation

If you had not come and hinder’d me, I ſhould have gover’nd all the world before I had left off Contemplating.

Viſitant

But if you make ſuch haſt to be at the Government of the whole world, you would want a Theam for your thoughts to work upon, for you can aim at no more than all the world.

Contemplation

O yes, rather than fail I would make new worlds, but this wil laſt me a long time in ſhewing you what wiſe Laws I make, what upright Juſtice I give, ordering ſo, as the whole world ſhould be as one united Family; and when I had ſhewed my wiſdome in Peace, then my thoughts ſhould have raiſed Warres, wherein I would have ſhewed my valour and conduct.

Viſitant

Prethee be not ſo imprudent to caſt away precious time, and to bury thy life in fantaſms.

Contemplation

Why prethee, they manage time beſt, that pleaſe life moſt; For it were better not to be, than to be diſpleaſed; for there is none that truly lives, but thoſe that live in pleaſure, ; the greateſt pleaſure is in the imagination not in fruition; for it is more pleaſure for any perſon to imagin themſelvs Emperour of the whole world, than to be ſo; for in imagination they reign ; Rule, without the troubleſome and weighty cares belonging thereto; neither have they thoſe fears of being betrayed or uſurped as real Emperours have; Zz2 Be- 184 Zz2v 184 Beſides, the whole general Race of Man kind, may this way be the particular Emperour of the whole World, if ithey will; but thoſe that deſire to be Emperours any other wayes, have but ſick judgements, for the mind is all, for if that be pleaſed, man is happy.

Viſitant

Well, well, I had rather have the Material world, than you Airy Fictions.――But confeſs really to me, if you ſhould not think your ſelf accurſt if you were to have no other Lovers, but what your Fancy creates.

Contemplation

No truely, for I finding none ſo exact as my Fancy creates, makes all men appear worſe than they are: For imagination doth like Painters, which takes all the gracefulleſt lines, and exacteſt Features from two or three good faces, and draws them into one : this is the reaſon that there may be handſomer Pictures drawn, than any Creature born; becauſe, Nature diſtributes and divides her Favours, as to the generality, when Painter contract them into particulars; for there was never any, unleſſe born as a wonder, that hath no exceptions; beſides, my Lovers which my Fancy creates, never make me jealouſe, nor never diſturb me; come to me, and goe from me; ſpeak or are ſilent as I will have them, and they are behaved, qualified, and adorned to my humour, alſo of what Birth, Age, Complexion, or Stature I like beſt; thus their perſons and ſouls are created in my brain, live in my Contemplation, and are dead and buryed in my forgetfulneſſe, but have a Reſurrection in my remembrance,.

Viſitant

Prethee do not loſe the pleaſure of the World, for the ſake of dull Contemplation.

Contemplation

Why, the greateſt pleaſures that can be in Fruition, I take in Imagination: for whatſoever the ſence enjoyes from outward objects, they may enjoy in inward thoughts. For the mind takes as much Pleaſure in creating of Fancies, as Nature to create and diſſolve, and create Creatures anew: For Fancy is the Minds creature, ; imaginations are as ſeveral worlds, wherein thoſe Creatures are bred and born, live and dye; thus the mind is like infinite Nature.

Viſit.

Prethee leave thy infinite folly.

Contem

It is my infinite delight.

Ex.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lady Poor Virtue weeping, and her Governeſſe.

Governeſs

Madam, why do you weep, and grieve your ſelf almoſt to death?

Poor Virtue

Have I not reaſon? my Father being kill’d, and I left friendleſſe all alone, my Mother dying as ſoon as I was born.

Governeſſe

There is no reaſon you ſhould grieve for your Father, ſince he dyed in the defence of his King and Country.

Virtue

’Tis true, and I glory in his valianrt loyal Actions, yet I cannot chooſe but mourn for the loſſe of his life, and weepe upon his death.

Gover- 185 Aaa1r 185

Governeſs

Methinks the greateſt cauſe you have to weep, is, for the loſs of your Eſtate, which the Enemy hath siezed on, and you left only to live on Charity.

Poor Virtue

I cannot mourn for any thing that is in Fortunes power to take away.

Governeſſ

Why? Fortune hath power on all things in the World.

Poor Virtue

O no, ſhe hath power on nothing but baſe droſs, and outward forms, things moveable; but ſhe hath neither power on honeſt hearts, nor noble Souls; for ’tis the Gods infuſe grace, and virtue; nor hath ſhe power or Reaſon, or Underſtanding, for Nature creates, and diſpoſes thoſe; nor doth ſhe govern Wiſdome, for Wiſdome governs her; nor hath ſhe power on Life and Death, they are decreed by Heaven.

Governeſſ

And will you weep at Heavens decree?

Poor Virtue

The Heavens decrees hinder not humanity, nor natural affection.

Governeſſ

Well, ever ſince your Mother dyed, I have governed your Fathers Houſe, and pleaſed him well; but ſince he is kill’d, and that there is nothing for me to govern, I will take my leave of you and ſeek another place; and I hope fortune will favour me ſo as to direct me to ſome Widower, or old Batchelour, which deſires a comely huſwifly woman to order their private affairs.

Poor Virtue

I wiſh you all happineſs, and if I were in a condition, I would make you a preſent.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1. Gentleman

Sir, My Lord is ſo buſy ſince his Fathers Death, with Stewards, Atturnies, and ſuch like, about ordering his Eſtate, as I am loath to diſturb him; but as ſoon as he hath done ſpeaking to them, I will wait upon you to my Lord.

2. Gentleman

Sir, I ſhall wait my Lords leaſure.

Enter the Lady Ward and Nurſe Careful, they paſs over the Stage.

2. Gent

Sir, what pretty young Lady is that which paſſes by?

1. Gent

She is a great Heireſs, and was Ward to my old Lord, and he upon his Death-bed charged his Son my young Lord to marry her.

2. Gent

Surely ſmall perſwaſions might ſerve turn; for her Virtue is Rhetorick enough to perſwade, nay to force affection.

1. Gent

Yet my Lord is diſcontented, he would rather chooſe for himſelf, than that his Father ſhould have choſen for him; for it is the Nature of Mankind to reject that which is offered, though never ſo good; and to prize that they cannot get, although not worth the having.

2. Gent

Of what Quality, of Birth, and Nature, and diſpoſition is ſhe of?

1. Gent

She is Honourably Born, and ſeems to be of a ſweet diſpoſition; out of a Melancholy Nature.

Aaa Enter 186 Aaa1v 186 Enter a Servant.

Servant

Sir, my Lord deſires the Gentleman would be pleaſed to walk in.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Humphrey Interruption.

Interruption

Lady, what makes you ſo ſilently ſad?

Contemplation

Pardon me, Sir, I am not ſad at this time, for my thoughts are merry, and my ſpirits lively.

Interrupt

There is no appearance of mirth in you, for mirth hath alwayes a dancing heel, a ſinging voyce, a talking tongue, and a laughing face.

Contempl

I have ſuch merry Companions ſometimes; but I ſeldome dance, ſing, talk, or laugh my ſelf.

Interrupt

Where are thoſe Companions? I deſire to be acquainted with them, and keep them Company.

Contempl

You cannot keep them Company, for the place they inhabit in, is too little for your Corporal body to enter; beſides, they are ſo curious, choyce, and nice Creatures, as they will vaniſh at the very ſight of you.

Interrupt

Why Lady, I am none of the biggeſt ſized Men, nor am I of a terrible aſpect; I have ſeen very fine and delicate Creatures.

Contempl

But you never ſaw any of theſe Creatures.

Interrupt

Pray where do they dwell, and what are their Names? I long to viſit them.

Contempl

They dwell in my head, and their Sirnames are called thoughts; but how you will viſit them I cannot tell, but they may viſit you.

Interrupt

Faith Lady, your relation hath made me deſpair of an enterview, but not a friendly entertainment, if you pleaſe to think well of me.

Contempl

Thoughts are free, and for the moſt part they cenſure according to fancy.

Interrupt

Then fancy me ſuch a one, as you could like beſt, and love moſt.

Contempl

That I cannot doe, for I love thoſe beſt which I create my ſelf, and Nature hath taught me to prize whatſoever is my own moſt, although of ſmaller valew, than what’s anothers, although of greater worth.

Interrupt

Then make me yours, by creating me anew.

Contempl

That is paſt my skill; but if you will leave me alone, I will think of you when you are gone; for I had rather of the two entertain you in my thoughts, than keep you Company in diſcourſe, for I am better pleaſed with a ſolitary ſilence, or a ſilent ſolitarineſs, than with a talking converſation, or an 187 Aaa2r 187 an entertaining talking, for words for the moſt part are rather uſeleſs ſpent, than profitably ſpoke, and time is loſt in liſtning to them, for few tongues make Muſick, wanting the Cord of Senſe, or ſound of Reaſon, or fingers of Fancy, to play thereon.

Interrupt

But you will injure your wit, to bury your wit in ſolitary ſilence.

Contempl

Wit lives not on the tongue, as language doth, but in the brain, which power hath, as Nature, to create.

Interrupt

But thoſe are aery not material Creatures.

Contempl

’Tis true, but what they want in ſubſtance, they have in variety; for the brain can create Millions of ſeveral Worlds fill’d full of ſeveral Creatures, and though they laſt not long, yet are they quickly made, they need not length of time to give them form and ſhape.

Interrupt

But there is required Speech to expreſs them, or they are made in vain, if not divulged.

Contempl

Speech is an enemy to Fancy; for they that talk much, cannot have time to think much; and Fancies are produced from thoughts, as thoughts are from the minde, and the minde which doth create the thoughts, and the thoughts the fancies, is as a Deity; for it entertains it ſelf with it self, and only takes pleaſure in its own works, although none other ſhould partake, or know thereof; but I ſhall talk a World out of my head, wherefore farewel.

Ex.

Scene 5.

Enter Poor Virtue, and her Maid Nan Scrapeall..

Nan Scrapeall

Now your Eſtate is ſeized on, you have not means to keep a Servant, as to pay them for their ſervice.

Poor Virtue

No truly Nan, but that which grieves me moſt, is, that I have not wherewithall to reward thee for thy paſt ſervice.

Nan Scrapeall

I have ſerved you theſe ſeven years, and have had nothing but my bare wages, unleſs it were ſome of the worſt of your caſt Clothes; for Mrs. Governeſs took order I ſhould have none of the beſt; but I hope you will pay me my half years wages that is due to me.

Poor Virtue

Truly Nan I am not able, for not only my Eſtate, but all the Money, Jewels, Plate, and other goods you know was ſeized on, all that my Father left, or had a right to, unleſs it were my ſingle ſelf; and if you will take my ſervice for half a year for payment, I will be very honeſt, dutiful, and diligent.

Nan Scrapeall

No by my troth, for you have been bred with ſo much attendance, curioſity, and plenty, as you will rather prove a charge than a payment; but if you can get means by your youth, and beauty, I ſhall come and claim what is owing me.

Poor Virtue

When I am able you ſhall not need to challenge it; for I will pay you before you ask.

Nan Scrapeall goes out, and Poor Virtue ſits down as in a deep ſtudy. Aaa2 Enter 188 Aaa2v 188 Enter an old gray headed man namely Humanity, who ſeeing her in ſo Melancholy a Poſture, falls a weeping.

Poor Virtue

Why weepſt thou old Humanity?

Humanity

For the ruine of your noble family. I came a boy to your Grandmother the great and rich Lady Natures ſervice, ſhe being then newly married to your Grandfather the Lord Propriety; from whence ſprung your Father the Lord Morality; your Grandfather, and Grandmother dying, I ſerved your Father, who ſoon after married your Mother the Lady Piety, they living, whilſt ſhe lived, with Peace and Tranquillity; but ſhe dying, left you only to your Father, as a pledg of their loves; and indeed, you are ſo like them both, as all muſt confeſs they were your Parents, although they knew not your Birth; and yet none can tell which you reſembled moſt: thus have I lived to ſee your Grandfather, and Grandmother, and Father, and Mother dead, and Peace, and Tranquillity fled; and you ſweet Virtue left deſſolate and forlorn, both of friends and fortune; but ſweet Lady comfort your ſelf, for I have a little fortune, which I got honeſtly in your Fathers ſervice; and as long as that laſts you ſhall not want.

Poor Virtue

I thank you, but you are old Humanity, and ready to go upon Crutches, and age and infirmities are ſhiftleſs; wherefore keep it for thy own uſe.

Humanity

Why, ſo is unexperienced youth, both ſhiftleſs, and ſtrengthleſs.

Poor Virtue

Tis true, yet youth hath an encreaſing advantage; for time carryes youth up, but time pulls Age down; wherefore I will not take that from thee, that will cauſe thee to be the poorer, or hazard you to want; I ſhall only deſire your adviſe, what I ſhall do, and what courſe I ſhall follow.

Humanity

Alas ſweet Lady, neceſſity will drive you into many extremities.

Poor Virtue

I ſhall have fortitude to arm me; but what Counſel will you give me?

Humanity

The beſt way for you will be to get into ſome great Ladies ſervice, and in ſuch a place or office as to attend upon her Perſon, there you may live with honour and reſpect.

Poor Virtue

I had rather ſhrow’d my honeſt Poverty in a thatcht houſe, than live in a Palace to be pointed at for my misfortunes; for in this Age, misfortunes are accounted crimes, and poverty is condemned as a thief, and hang’d in the Chains of ſcorn; wherefore if I could get a ſervice in an honeſt poor Farmers houſe, I might live happy, as being moſt obſcure from the World, and the Worlds Vices; for vice encreaſes more in Palaces than in Cottages; for in Palaces Pride Plows, Faction Sowes, Riot Reaps, Extortion Threſhes, Covetouſneſs Whoords up the grain or gain; there youth is corrupted with Vanity, Beauty catcht with Flattery, Chaſtity endangered with Power, and Virtue ſlandered by Envy; beſides, great Perſons uſe their Servants too unequally, making them either Maſters, or Slaves; where in an humble Cottage the induſtrious, and laborious Maſters command their Servants friendly and kindly, and are obeyed with love; wherefore good Humanity, ſeek me out ſuch a Place to live in, to ſerve.

Humanity

I will, for I will never forſake you as long as I live, or at leaſt ſo long as I have leggs to goe.

Poor Virtue 189 Bbb1r 189

Poor Virtue

When you cannot viſit me, I will viſit you, for I ſhall never be ungrateful.

Ex.

Scene 6.

Enter the Lady Converſation, and Sir Experience Traveller.

Converſation

Sir Experience Traveller, you that have been ſo great a traveller, pray tell me what Nations have the rareſt Beauties, and which the greateſt Wits?

Sir Experience Traveller

In all my travels, the rareſt Beauty that I have ſeen, and the greateſt Wit that I have heard of, is your ſelf, ſweet Lady Converſation.

Conver

Then you have loſt your labour; for you might have ſeen my Beauty, and have heard my Wit, at leſſe Charges, and more eaſe.

Experience Tra

Tis true Madam, for ſome travel meerly to learn to make a leg or congy with a good grace, and to wear their cloaths, or acouſter themſelves faſhionably. But I have obſerved in my travels, that very cold Countries, and very hot Countries, have neither ſo many Beauties, nor ſo much Wit, at leſt not ſo much as more temperate Countries have.

Conver

What is the reaſon of that?

Exper. Trav

I cannot conceive the reaſon, unleſſe the extream coldneſſe of the Climate ſhould congele their Spirits, and ſtupifie their Brains, making the Spirits unactive to get, and the Brain too barren to breed and bear Wit.

Conver

So then you make the Spirits and the Brain the Parents to Wit.

Exper. Trav

Yes Madam.

Conver

And what reaſon give you for the ſcarcity of Beauties in very cold Climates

Exper. Trav

Beauty, Madam, is as tender and fading in the growth, as a Flower, although it be freſh and ſweet; and the more delicate it is, the more ſubject to be nipt with the hard Froſt, and to be withered with raw colds.

Conver

Then hot Countries ſhould produce good ſtore.

Exper. Trav

No Madam, for extream heat dryes up Wit, as water in a Spring, and Sun-burns beauty.

Conver

But hot Brains are thought to produce the greateſt Wits.

Expe. Trav

Yes, if they be equally tempered with moiſture; for as heat in moiſture are Generators of all Creatures, ſo of Wit; but if the moiſture exceed the heat, the Brain, or Mind becomes ſtupid, if the heat exceeds the moiſture, the Brain or Mind becomes mad.

Conver

What Nation hath the beſt Language?

Expe. Trav

There are but three commendable things in Language, thoſe Bbb are 190 Bbb1v 190 are to be ſignificant, copious, and ſmooth; and the Engliſh tongue hath the perfection of all, there being an oyle, or butter made of the cream of all other Languages. Thus, what with the Temperature of the Climate, and the ſoft, ſmooth, ſpreading Language, England produces rarer Beauties, and eloquenter Orators, and finer Poets, than any other Nation in the world; and the Nobility and Gentry live not only in greater grandeur, than in other Nations, but naturally appear or look with a more ſplendid Greatneſſe.

Conver

Tis true, they did ſo in former times, when the Crown kept up Ceremony, and Ceremony the Crown; but ſince that Ceremony is down, their grandeur is loſt, and their ſplendor put out, and no light thereof remains: But they are covered with a dark rudeneſſe, wherein the Clown juſtles the Lord, and the Lord gives the way to the Clown; the man takes the wall of his Maſter, and the Maſter ſcrapes legs with Cap in hand to the Servant, and waits upon him, not out of a generous and noble Nature, but out of a baſe ſervile fear, and through fear hath given the Power away.

Exper. Trav

I am ſorry to hear the Nobility is ſo degenerated.

Ex.

Scene 7.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and his Friend Maſter Adviſer.

Adviſer

I wonder your Lordſhip ſhould be ſo troubled at your Fathers commands, which was to marry the Lady Ward, unleſſe ſhe had been ill-favoured and old.

Lord Courtſhip

O that’s the miſery! that ſhe is ſo young, For I had rather my Father had commanded me to marry one that had been very old, than one that is ſo young; for if ſhe had been very old, there might have been ſome hopes of her death; but this young Filly will grow upon me, not from me; beſides, thoſe that are young give me no delight, their Company is dull.

Adviſer

Why, ſhe is not ſo very young, ſhe is fifteen years of Age.

Lord Court

Give me a Lady to imbrace about the years of twenty, rather than fifteen; then is her Beauty like a full-blown Roſe in June, her Wit like fruit is ripe and ſweet, and pleaſant to the ear; when thoſe of fifteen are like to green ſharp Fruit, not ripened by the Sun of Time. Yet that’s not all that troubles me; but I cannot endure to be bound in Wedlocks ſhackles, for I love variety, and hate to be ty’d to one.

Adviſer

Why, you may have the more variety by marrying.

Lord Court

No faith, ’tis a Bar; for if I ſhould but kiſſe my wives Maid, which a thouſand to one but I ſhall, my wife, if ſhe doth not beat her Maid, making a hideous noiſe, with ſcoldings, yet ſhe will pout, and cry, and feign her ſelf ſick, or elſe ſhe would Cuckold me, and then I am paid for all.

Adviſer

Faith my Lord, it is a hundred to one but a man when he is maryedryed 191 Bbb2r 191 yed ſhall be Cuckolded, were he as wiſe as Solomon, as valiant as David, as fortunate as Cæſar, as witty as Homer, or as Handſome as Abſalom; for Women are of the ſame Nature as men, for not one man amongſt a thouſand makes a good Huſband, nor one woman amongſt a thouſand makes an honeſt Wife.

Lord Court

No faith, you might well have put another Cypher and made it ten thouſand.

Adviſer

Well my Lord, ſince you muſt marry, pray let me counſel you: This Lady Ward being very young, you may have her bred to your own Humour.

Lord Court

How is that?

Adviſer

Why, accuſtome her to your wayes before you marry her; let her ſee your ſeveral Courtſhips to ſeveral Miſtreſſes, and keep wenches in your houſe; and when ſhe is bred up to the acquaintance of your cuſtomes, it will be as natural to her.

Lord Court

What, to be a whore?

Adviſer

No, to know your humours, and to be contented thereat.

Lord Court

Well, I will take your advice, although it is dangerous: And as the old ſaying is, the Medicine may prove worſe than the diſeaſe.

Adviſer

Why, the worſt come to the worſt, it is but parting.

Lord Court

You ſay true; but yet a divorce will not clearly take off the diſgrace of a Cuckold.

Ex.

Scene 8.

Enter Poor Virtue, and old Humanity.

Humanity

I have found out a ſervice, a Farmer which hath the report of an honeſt labouring man, and his wife a good huſwifely woman; they have onely one daughter about your years, a pretty Maid truely ſhe is, and ſeems a modeſt one; but how you will endure ſuch rough and rude work, which perchance they will imploy you in, I cannot tell, I doubt you will tire in it.

Poor Virtue

Do not fear, for what I want in ſtrength, my induſtry ſhall ſupply.

Humanity

But you muſt be fitted with cloaths according, and proper to your ſervice.

Poor Virtue

That you muſt help me to.

Humanity

That I will.

Ex.
Bbb2 Act 192 Bbb2v 192

Act III.

Scene 9.

Enter Sir Fancy Poet, and the Lady Contemplation.

Sir Fancy Poet

Sweet Lady Contemplation, although your thoughts be excellent, yet there are fine curioſities and ſweet pleaſures to be enjoyed in the uſe of the world.

Contemplation

Perchance ſo, but would not you think that man a Fool that hath a great eſtate, a large convenient houſe, well ſituated, in ſweet and healthfull Aire, pleaſant and delightful, having all about for the eyes to view Landſkips, and Proſpects; beſide, all the inſide richly furniſhed, annd the Maſter plentifully ſerved, and much company to paſſe his time with, as a reſort of men of all Nations, of all Ages, of all qualities or degrees; and profeſſions, of all humours, of all breedings, of all ſhapes, of all complexions: Likewiſe a recourſe for all Wits, for all Scholars, for all Arts, for all Sciences; Alſo Lovers of all ſorts Servants of all uſe, and imployments; Thus living luxuriouſly with all rarities and varieties, and yet ſhall go a begging, debaſing himſelf with humble crouching, inſlaving himſelf to Obligations, living upon cold Charity, and is denyed often times unkindly, or kickt out ſcornfully, when he may be honoured at home, and ſerved in ſtate, would not you think that this man had an inbred baſeneſſe, that had rather ſerve unworthily, than command honourably; that had rather be inſlaved, than free? Beſides, that mind is a fool that cannot entertain it ſelf with it’s own thoughts; a wandring Vagabond, that is never, or ſeldome at home in Contemplation; A Prodigal to caſt out his thoughts vainly in idle words, baſe to inſlave it ſelf to the Body, which is full of corruption, when it can create bodileſſe Creatures like it ſelf in Corporalities; with which ſelf Creatures, it may nobly, honeſtly, freely, and delightfully entertain it ſelf. With which, the mind may not only delight it ſelf, but improve it ſelf; for the thoughts, which are the actions of the mind, make the ſoul more healthful and ſtrong by exerciſes; for the mind is the ſoules body, and the thoughts are the actions thereof.

Fancy Poet

After what manner will you form this Body?

Contemplation

Thus Underſtanding is the Brain, Reaſon the Liver, Love is the heart, Hate the Spleen, Knowledge the Stomach, Judgement the Sinews, Opinions the Bones, Will the Veins, Imaginations the Blood, Fancy the Spirits, the Thoughts are the Life, and Motion, or the Motions of the Life, the outward Form is the Mind it ſelf, which fſometimes is like a Beaſt, ſometimes like a man, and ſometimes like a God.

Fancy Poet

And you my fair Goddeſſe.

Ex.
193 Ccc1r 193

Scene 10.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous

My Lord, you are too covetous to take a wife meerly for her riches.

Lord Courtſhip

Believe me Madam, I do eſteem of ſuch Riches as Money, as I do of Marriage, and in my nature I do hate them both; for a man is enſlaved by either: wherefore I would ſhun them if I could, and turn them out of doors, but that ſome ſorts of neceſſity and conveniency inforce me to entertain them; the one for Poſteritie ſake, the other for ſubſiſtence of preſent life, beſides convenient pleaſures.

Lady Am

The Lady Ward, who is to be your wife, ſeems of a very dull diſpoſition.

Lord Court

She is ſo, but I like her the better for that, for I would have a deadly dull Wife, and a lively Miſtreſſe, ſuch a ſprightly Lady as you are.

Lady Am

In truth my Lord, I am of a melancholy Nature.

Lord Court

Certainly Madam, you onely flawed-reproductionapproximately 2 lettersow the Name, not the Nature, for your Nature is alwayes freſh, and ſweet, and pleaſant, as the Spring.

Lady Am

O no, my mind is like to Winter, and my thoughts are numb and cold.

Lord Court

If your thoughts were ſo cold, your words would be as if they were frozen between your lips, all your diſcourſe would melt by drops, not flow ſo ſmoothly and ſwiftly into mens eares, as they at all times do.

Lady Am

Tis true, I am merry when I am in your company, but in your abſence I am as dull as a cloudy day, and as melancholy as dark night.

Lord Court

I cannot believe ſo well of my ſelf, as that my company can be the light of your mirth, but I know that your company is the Sun of my life, nor could I live without it.

Ex.

Scene 11.

Enter the Lord Title, Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Sir Golden Riches.

Lord Title

This is a barren Country, for in all this progreſſe I have not ſeen a pretty Country wench.

Effeminate Lovely

Nor I.

Golden Riches

Nor I.

Lord Title

If an perſon can tell, it is Tom Purveyer.

Ccc Enter 194 Ccc1v 194 Enter Tom Purveyer.

Now Tom Purveyer, are there no pretty wenches in this part of the Countrey?

Tom Purveyer

Yes that there are, an it pleaſe your Lordſhip, and not far off, two as pretty wenches as are in the Kingdome, and no diſpraiſe to the reſt.

They all ſpeak.

All

Where? where?

Tom Purveyer

Hard by here, at a Farmers Houſe; the one is his Daughter, the other is his Servant-Maid.

Prethee Tom ſhow us the houſe.

Tom Purveyer

Not all at once; but one after another.

Nay faith Tom, let us all ſee them at once; but we will Court them apart.

Tom Purveyer

Content.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lady Converſation, and Sir Fancy Poet.

Lady Converſation

What is the reaſon that Mercury is feign’d to be the patron of Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet

That is to be the patron of Scholars, for Scholars are the greateſt Thieves, ſtealing from the Authours they read, to their own uſe.

Lady Converſ

And why are Scholars counted the greateſt Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet

Becauſe they ſteal the Spirits, or life of renown, out of the treaſury of Fame; when all other ſorts of Thieves ſteal but the goods of Fortune, which is nothing but a Corporal droſs.

Lady Converſ

And why is nhe feigned the talkative God?

Sir Fancy Poet

Becauſe Scholars talk more than other men, and moſt commonly ſo much, as they will let none ſpeak but themſelves; and when there is a Company of Scholars together, they will be ſo fierce in diſputes, as they will be ready to go to cuffs for the Prerogative of their opinion.

Lady Converſ

The Prerogative of the tongue you mean; but why are Scholars apt to talk moſt?

Sir Fancy Poet

Becauſe they overcharge their heads with ſeveral Authors, as Epicures do their Stomacks with variety of meats, and being overcharged, they are forced to vent it forth through the mouth, as the other through the gut; for the tongue, as a Feather, tickles the throat of Vainglory, vomiting out the ſlime of Learning, into the ears of the hearers; but ſome heads, as Stomacks which are naturally weak, are ſo grip’d, by reaſon it doth not diſgeſt well, as they vent nothing but windy Phraſes; and other brains which are hot and moiſt, by reaſon of a facil memory, diſgeſt ſo faſt, as they do nothing but purge looſe Sentences; and other brains that are too dry and Incipid, are ſo coſtive, as their reſtringency ſtrains out nothing but ſtrong lines.

Lady Converſ

What is that, Non-ſenſe?

195 Ccc2r 195

Sir Fancy Poet

Indeed they are hard words without ſenſe.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet

A quick Fancy.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Oratour?

Sir Fancy Poet

A ready Tongue.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Phyſician?

Sir Fancy Poet

Much Practice.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Divine?

Sir Fancy Poet

A Holy Life.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good States-man?

Sir Fancy Poet

Long experience, great obſervance, prudent induſtry, ingenuous wit, and diſtinguiſhing judgment.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Souldier?

Sir Fancy Poet

Change of Fortune, Courage, Prudence, and Patience.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Courtier?

Sir Fancy Poet

Diligence, Flattery, and time-ſerving.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Prince, or Governour?

Sir Fancy Poet

Juſtice, Clemency, Generoſity, Courage, and Prudence mixt together.

Lady Converſ

What makes a good Woman?

Sir Fancy Poet

A Poet.

Lady Converſ

Why a Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet

By reaſon the Poetical wits convert their natural defects into ſweet graces, their follies to pure innocencies, and their Vices into Heroick Virtues.

Lady Converſ

By theſe deſcriptions, you make as if women were more obliged to Poets than to Nature.

Sir Fancy Poet

They are ſo; for where Nature, or Education, makes one good, or beautiful Woman, Poets make ten; beſides, Poets have not only made greater numbers of beautiful women, but perfecter beauties than ever Nature made.

Lady Converſ

Then let me tell you, that women make Poets; for women kindle the maſculine brains with the fire of Love, from whence ariſes a Poetical flame; and their Beauty is the fuel that feeds it.

Sir Fancy Poet

I confeſs, were there no women, there would be no Poets; for the Muſes are of that Sex.

Exeunt.
Ccc2 Act 196 Ccc2v 196

Act IV.

Scene 13.

Enter Roger Farmer, and Maudling his Wife.

Maudling Huſwife

Truly Husband our Maid Poor Virtue is a very induſtrious Servant as ever I had in my life.

Roger Farmer

Yes wife, but you were angry with me at firſt becauſe I perſwaded you to take her.

Maudling Huſwife

Why, ſhe ſeem’d to be ſo fine a feat, as I thought ſhe would never have ſetled to her work.

Roger Farmer

Truly Wife, ſhe does forecaſt her buſiness ſo prudently, and doth every thing ſo orderly, and behaves her ſelf ſo handſomely, and carryes her ſelf ſo modeſtly, as ſhe may be a Pattern to our Daughter.

Maudling Huſwife

I am a better Pattern my ſelf.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Poor Virtue with a Sheephook, as comming from tending her ſheep, and the Lord Title meets her.

Lord Title

Fair Maid, may I be your Shepheard to attend you.

Poor Virtue

I am but a ſingle Sheep that needs no great attendance, and a harmleſs one, that ſtrayes not forth the ground I am put to feed.

Lord Title

Miſtake me not fair Maid, I deſire to be your Shepheard, and you my fair Shepheardeſs, attending loving thoughts, that feed on kiſſes ſweet, folded in amorous arms.

Poor Virtue

My mind never harbors wanton thoughts, nor ſends immodeſt glances forth, nor will infold unlawful love, for chaſtity ſticks as faſt unto my Soul, as light unto the Sun, or heat unto the fire, or motion unto life, or abſence unto death, or time unto eternity, and I glory more in being chaſt, than Hellen of her beauty, or Athens of their learning and eloquence, or the Lacedemonions of their Lawes, or the Perſians of their Riches, or Greece of their Fables, or the Romans of their Conqueſts; and Chaſtity is more delightfull to my mind, than Fancy is to Poets, or Muſick to the Ears, or Beauty to the Eyes, and I am as conſtant to Chaſtity, as truth to Unity, and Death to life; for I am as free, and pure from all unchaſtity as Angels are of ſin.

Poor Virtue goes out. Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

I wonder not ſo much at Fortunes gifts, as Natures curioſities, not ſo much at Riches, Tittle and power, as Beauty, Wit, and Virtue, joyn’d in 197 Ddd1r 197 in one; beſides, ſhe doth amaze me by expreſſing ſo much learning, as if ſhe had been taught in ſome famous Schools, and had read many hiſtories, and yet a Cottager, and a young Cottager, tis ſtrange.

Ex.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and Mr. Adviſer.

Adviſer

My Lord, doth my Counſel take good effect?

Lord Courtſhip

Yes faith, for ſhe ſeems to take it very patiently, or elce ſhe is ſo dull a Creature as ſhe is not ſenſible of any injury that’s done her.

Adviſer

How doth ſhe look when you adreſs, and ſalute your Miſtriſs?

Lord Courtſhip

She ſeems to regard us not; but is as if ſhe were in a deep contemplation of another world.

Adviſer

I think ſhe is one of the feweſt words, for I never heard her ſpeak.

Lord Courtſhip

Faith ſo few, as I am in good hope ſhe is tongue-tyed, or will grow dumb.

Adviſer

That would be ſuch a happineſs, as all married men would envy you for.

Lord Courtſhip

They will have cauſe, for there is nothing ſo tedious as talking women, they ſpeak ſo conſtraintly, and utter their Nonſence with ſuch formality, and ask impertinent queſtions ſo gravely, or elſe their diſcourſe is ſnip ſnap, or ſo loud and ſhrill, as deafs a mans ears, ſo as a man would never keep them Company, if it were not for other reaſons.

Adviſer

Your Lordſhip ſpeaks as if you were a woman-hater.

Lord Courtſhip

O Pardon me, for there is no man loves the Sex better than I; yet I had rather diſcourſe with their beauty than their wits; beſides, I only ſpeak of generalities, not particularities.

Ex.

Scene. 16.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Huumphrey Interruption.

Interruption

Lady, pray make me partaker of ſome of your conceptions.

Contempl

My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour, that after he hath ſpoke, if he were to ſpeak upon the ſame ſubject he could hardly do it, if it were not impoſſible juſt to ſpeak as he did, as to expreſs the ſame ſubjects in the ſame expreſſions, and way of his natural Rhetorick; for the ſenſe may be the ſame, but the expreſſions, ; way of Rhetorick wil hardly be the ſame; but ’tis likely will be very different, and ſo differing, as not to be like the ſame; but the ſame premeditated Rhetorick, will many times Ddd ſerve 198 Ddd1v 198 ſerve to many ſeveral deſigns, or preaching, pleading, or ſpeaking, the Theam or cauſe being altered; This is the difference betwixt extemporary Oratory, and premeditated Oratory, the one may be ſpoke, as many times as an Orator will, and make the ſame Oratory ſerve to many ſeveral Subjects; the other being not fixt, but voluntary, vaniſhes out of the remembrance, the ſame many times do my conceptions.

Interrup

But I hope all are not vaniſhed, ſome remain; wherefore pray expreſſe or preſent any one of your conceptions after what manner of way you pleaſe.

Contempl

Why then I will tell you, I had a conception of a Monſter, as a Creature that had a rational ſoul, yet was a Fool: It had had a beautiful and perfect ſhape, yet was deformed and ill-favoured; It had clear diſtinguiſhing ſenſes, and yet was ſenceleſſe; It was produced from the Gods, but had the nature of a Devil; It had an eternal life, yet dyed as a Beaſt; It had a body, and no body.

Interrup

What Monſter call you this?

Contempl

I call him Man.

Interrup

This is a Man of your own conception.

Contempl

A man of Natures creating is as monſtrous: for though man hath a rational ſoul, yet moſt men are fools, making no uſe of their reaſon; and though Man hath a beautiful and perfect ſhape, yet for the moſt part, they make themſelves deformed and ill-favoured with antick poſtures, violent paſſions, or brutiſh vices; and man hath clear diſtinguiſhing Senſes, yet in his ſleep, or with fumes, or drink, he is ſenceleſſe: Man was produced immediately from the Gods, yet man being wicked, and prone to evil, hath by evil wickedneſſe the nature of a Devil; Man ’tis ſaid, ſhall live for ever, as having an eternal life, yet betwixt this life and the other, he dyes like a Beaſt, and turns to duſt as other Creatures do; but the only difference between the man Nature creates, and the man my Conceptions create is, that Natures man hath a real ſubſtance as a real body; whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea, which is an incorporal man, ſo as the body of my concepted man, is as the ſoul of Natures created man, an incorporality.

Ex.

Scene 17.

Enter the Lord Title, and Mall Mean-bred. Written by my Lord Marqueſs of New-caſtle.

Lord Title

Well, I have loſt my firſt Courſe in Love, and now like an angry bloody Gray-hound, I will down with the firſt I meet, were ſhe as innocent as a Dove, or as wiſe as a Serpent, down ſhe goes.

Enter Mall Mean-bred.

But ſoft, here’s Loves game, and Ile flye at her. Fair One, for ſo you are.

Mall 199 Ddd2r 199

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir I am but a Blouſe.

Lord Title

Think better of your ſelf, and believe me.

Mall Mean

My Father hath told me, I muſt not believe a Gentleman in ſuch matters.

Lord Title

Why ſweeteſt? I am a Lord.

Mall Mean

A Lord; Lord bleſſe your Worſhip then, but my Father gave me warning of a Lord, he ſaid they might nay, ſay and ſwear too, and do any thing, for they were Peers of the Realm, there was no medling with them he ſaid, without a Rebellion, bleſſe me from a Lord, for it is a naughty thing, as they ſay, I know not.

Lo. Title

Do you value me ſo little, when I can make you an Apocryphal Lady?

Mall Mean

The Apocrypha forſooth is out of my Book, I have been bred purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha, the Gods bleſſe us from it, and from all ſuch ill things.

Lo. Title

Well, in ſhort, will you love me?

Mall Mean

I am ſo aſhamed to love a Lord forſooth that I know not how to behave my ſelf.

Lo. Title

I will teach you.

Mall Mean

If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant Country Maid, I will do the beſt I can to learn forſooth; but will it not be too much pains for your Honour, do you think?

Lo. Title

No no, it will be both for my Honour, and my pleaſure, and for the pleaſure of my Honour.

Mall Mean

Bleſſe us, how the Lords doe it backward and forward at their pleaſure, the fineſt that ever was; but what would your Honour have of me?

Lo. Title

By this kiſs Ile tell you.

He goes to kiſs her, ſhe ſeems nice and coy.

Mall Mean

O fie, fie, good your Honour, do not ſcandalize your lips to kiſſe mine, and make me ſo proud as never to kiſſe our Shepherd again.

He offers.

Mall Mean

No fie.

Lo. Title

I will and muſt kiſſe you.

He ſtrives.

Mall Mean

Nay, good your Honour, good your Honour.

He kiſſes her.

What are you the better now? But I ſee there is no denying a Lord, forſooth it is not civil, and they are ſo peremptory too, the Gods bleſſe them, and make them their Servants.

Lo. Title

This kiſſe hath ſo inflamed me, therefore for Loves ſake, meet me in the Evening, in the Broom cloſe here.

Mall Mean

I know the Cloſe forſooth, I have been there before now.

Lo. Title

Well, and when we meet I will diſcover more than yet I have done.

Mall Mean

So you had need forſooth, for nothing is diſcovered yet, either on your ſide, or mine, but I will keep my promiſe.

Lo. Title

There ſpoke my better Angel; ſo adiew.

Mall Mean

An Angel, I will not break my word for two angels, and I hope there will be no dew neither, God ſhield you forſooth.

Ex. Here ends my Lord Marqueſſe. Scene
200 Ddd2v 200

Scene 18.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, following Poor Virtue.

Sir Effeminate Lovely

Fair Maid, ſtay and look upon my perſon.

Poor Virtue

Why, ſo I do.

Effem. Love

And how do you like it?

Poor Vir

As I like a curious built houſe, wherein lives a vain and ſelf-conceited owner.

Effem. Love

And are not you in love with it?

Poor Vir

No truly, no more than with a pencilled Picture.

Effem. Love

Why, I am not painted.

Poor Vir

You are by Nature, though not by Art.

Effem. Love

And do you deſpiſe the beſt and curiouſeſt Works of Nature?

Poor Vir

No, I admire them.

Effem. Love

If you admire them, you will admire me, and if you admire me, you will yield to my deſires.

Poor Vir

There may be admiration withouf love, but to yield to your deſires, were to abuſe Natures Works.

Effem. Love

No, It were to enjoy them.

Poor Vir

Nature hath made Reaſon in man, as well as Sence, and we ought not to abuſe the one, to pleaſe the other; otherwiſe man would be like Beaſts, following their ſenſualities, which Nature never made man to be; for ſhe created Virtues in the Soul, to govern the Senſes and Appetites of the Body, as Prudence, Juſtice, Temperance, and Conscience.

Effem. Love

Conſcience? What is that, natural fear?

Poor Vir

No, it is the tendereſt part of the Soul, bathed in a holy dew, from whence repentant tears do flow.

Effem. Love

I find no ſuch tender Conſtitution, nor moiſt Complexion in my Soul.

Poor Vir

That is, by reaſon the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up, ; feared the Conſience dry.

Effem. Love

You may call it what Fire you will, but I am certain it is your Beauty that kindles it, and your Wit that makes it flame, burning with hot deſires.

Poor Vir

Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again.

Poor Virtue goes out. Lovely alone.

Effem. Love

I am ſure Nature requires a ſelf-ſatisfaction, as well as a ſelf- preſervation, and cannot, nor will not be quiet without it, eſteeming it beyond life.

Ex.
Scene 201 Eee1r 201

Scene 19.

Enter the Lady Ward, and Nurſe Careful.

Lady Ward

I wonder my Lord Courtſhip, he being counted a wiſe man, ſhould make me his Baud, if he intends to make me his Wife, and by my troth Nurſe, I am too young for that grave Office.

Nurſe Careful

How ignorantly you ſpeak Child? it is a ſign you have been bred obſcurely, and know little of the world; or rather it proves your Mother dyed before you could ſpeak, or go, otherwiſe you would be better experienced in theſe buſineſſes.

Lady Ward

My Mother, Nurſe, Heaven reſt her ſoul, ſhe would never have made me a Baud.

Nurſe Careful

No, why then ſhe would not do as moſt Mothers do now a dayes; for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters, and to receive meſſages, or at leſt to watch at the door leſt their Fathers ſhould come unawares, and when they come to make ſome excuſe, and then the Mother laughs, and ſayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle.

La. Ward

What, for telling a lye?

Nurſe Careful

Yes, when it is told ſo, as to appeare like a truth.

Lady Ward

But it is a double fault, as to deceive the Father, and be a Baud to the Mother.

Nurſe Careful

Why, the Mother will execute the ſame Office for the daughther when ſhe is marryed, and her ſelf grown into years; for from the age of ſeven or eight years old, to the time they are maryed, the Daughter is a Baud to the Mother; and from the time of their marriage, to the time of their Mothers death, the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter; but if the Mother be indifferently young, and hath a young tooth in her head, as the old ſaying is, they Baud for each other.

Lady Ward

But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter, before ſhe is marryed.

Nurſe Care

O there is reaſon for that, for that may ſpoil her fortune, by hindering her marriage: for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face of adultery, the like Veil is Baud-mothers, and Baud-daughters; for who would ſuſpect any lewdneſſe, when the Mother and the Daughter is together?

La. Ward

And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers, as Daughters are for their Mothers?

Nurſe Careful

No faith, Boys have not facility, or ingenuity as Girles have; beſides, they are kept moſt commonly ſo ſtrictly to their Bookes, when Girles have nothing elſe to do; but when they have caſt away their Books, and come to be marryed men, then they may chance to Pimp for their Wives.

Lady Ward

O fie Nurſe, ſurely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold himſelf.

Nurſe Care

O yes, if they be poor, or covetous, or ambitious; and then if they have a handſome woman to their wife, they will ſet her as a bait to catch their deſigns in the trap of Adultery; or patient, quiet, ſimple, fearful Eee men 202 Eee1v 202 men will, if they have a Spritely wife, they will play the Pimp, either for fear, or quiet; for ſuch men to ſuch wives, will do any thing to pleaſe them, although it be to Cuckold themſelves.

La. Ward

But ſurely Nurſe no Gentleman will do ſo.

Nurſe Care

I know not who you call Gentlemen, but thoſe that bear up high and look big, and vant loud, and walk proud, and carry the out-ſide of a Gentleman, will do ſo.

La. Ward

Certainly Nurſe they are but Baſtard Gentry, or elſe they are degenerated.

Nurſe Careful

An incipid Branch may ſpring from a ſound Root, many a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree.

La. Ward

And do Wives play the Bauds for their Huſbands, as the Huſbands play the Pimps for their Wives?

Nurſe Care

Moſt often; for they will make Goſſiping meetings, on purpoſe for their Huſbands to Court other women; for they know when their Huſbands minds are fill’d with amorous love, they will not muſe upon their actions, nor examine their wayes; beſides, when as the Huſband would take his liberty without diſturbance, he will wink at the liberty his wife takes, and ſo will be procurers for each other, and the Ladys acquaintance are Confidents.

La. Ward

Confidents, what is that, Nurſe?

Nurſe Careful

Why it is thus, two Ladies make friendſhip, or at leaſt call Friends, and if any man deſires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them, he addreſſes himſelf to the other, and expreſſes what Paſſions and Affections he hath for her friend, and ſo makes his complaints and affections known to her; whereupon ſhe recommends his addreſſes and ſervice to her Friend; thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his profeſſions, and returning her Friends civil anſwers, appointing places for each others lovemeetings, the other will do as much for her.

La. Ward

Why this is a Baud.

Nurſe Care

O peace Child, for if any body heard you ſay ſo, they would laugh at you for a Fool, but ’tis a ſign you never was a Courtier, for I knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour; and there were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other, and a great Prince made love to one of them, but adddreſt himſelf to the other, as being her Friend; this young Maid askt why he did ſo, it was anſwered, ſhe was the Princes Miſtreſſe Confident; and juſt as you aſk me, what ſaid ſhe, is a confident a Baud; whereupon the whole Court laught at her, and for that only queſtion condemned her to be a very Fool, nay, a meer Changling.

La. Ward ,.

Well Nurſe, ſay what you will, Confident is but a Courtly name for a Baud.

Ex. Scene
203 Eee2r 203

Scene 20.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Mall Mean-bred. This following Scene was writ by the Lord Marqueſs of New-caſtle.

Sir Effeminate Lovely

Thoſe wandering Stars that ſhine like brighteſt day, are fixt on me, the Center of your love.

Mall Mean-bred

O Heavens!

Sir. Effem. Lovely

Happy to touch thoſe Lillies in your cheeks mingled with Roſes, loves perfumed bath.

Mall. Mean-bred

They grow forſooth in our Garden.

Sir Effem. Lovely

You are the Garden of all ſweets for love, your bluſhing lips of the Vermillion die, and thoſe twin cherries, give me leave to taſte.

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir, I underſtand no Latin, but I will call our Vicar to you, and he ſhall expound.

Sir Effem. Lovely

No deareſt Dear, my lovely Dear, my deareſt Love, my lovelyeſt Dear.

Mall Mean-bred

I never coſt you any thing as yet, Sir.

Sir Effem. Lovely

Why, then no Lady of Arcadie bred.

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir, this is as our Vicar ſaith, like Hebrew without poynts, to be read backwards; ſay any thing forward in Nottingham-ſhire; ſpeak, that I may gueſs at, and I will anſwer your Worſhip, though truly, it is as fine as ever I underſtood not.

Effem. Lovely

Why then ſweet heart I love you, and would gladly enjoy you.

Mall Mean-bred

O fie, enjoy is a naughty word forſooth, if it pleaſe you.

Effem. Lovely

It would pleaſe me, your thoughts of what you mince.

Mall Mean-bred

Thoughts are free forſooth, and I love whole joints without mincing.

Effem. Lovely

Why then in plain Engliſh, I would have your Maidenhead.

Mall Mean-bred

O dear, how will you get it, can you tell? Truely, truely, I did not think ſuch naughty words would come forth of ſo fine a Gentlemans mouth.

Effem. Lovely

But tell me truely, do you think me fine?

Mall Mean

You will make me bluſh now, and diſcover all; ſo fine cloaths, the Taylor of Norton never made ſuch, and ſo finely made, unbuttoned and untruſt doth ſo become you; but I do hang down my head for ſhame; and thoſe Linnen Boot-hoſe (as if you did long to ride,) do ſo become you, and your ſhort Coat to hang on your left arm; O ſweet, O ſweet; and then your Hat hid with ſo fine a Feather, our Peacocks tailes are not like it; and then your hair ſo long, ſo finely curled, and powder’d in ſweets, a ſweeter Gentleman I never ſaw. My love’s beyond diſſembling, ſo young, ſo freſh, ſo every thing, I warrant you; O Sir, you will raviſh me, but yet you cannot.

Effem. Lovely

O how you have made me thankfulneſſe all over for this Eee2 your 204 Eee2v 204 your bounty to me; wherefore my earthly Paradiſe, let us meet in the next Cloſe, there under ſome ſweet Hedge to taſt Loves aromatick Banquet at your Table.

Mall Mean-bred

O Sir, with bluſhes I conſent; farewel; do not bettray me then, you muſt not tell.

Farewell my ſweeteſt, granting of my ſute,

Shall ſtill inſlave me, and be ever mute.

Here ends my Lord Marqueſſe’s Scene. Ex.

Scene 21.

Enter Poor Virtue, and Sir Golden Riches following her.

Golden Riches

Stay lovely Maid, and receive a Fortune.

Poor Virtue

I am Fortune proof Sir, ſhe cannot tempt me.

Gold. Rich

But ſhe may perſwade you to reaſon.

Poor Virtue

That ſhe ſeldome doth, for ſhe is alwayes in extremes, and

Extremes are out of Reaſon’s Schools,

That makes all thoſe that follow Fortune Fooles.

Gol. Rich

What do you Rime, my pretty Maid?

Poor Virtue

Yes Rich Sir, to end my diſcourſe.

Golden Riches

I will make you Rich, if you will receive my gifts.

Poor Virtue

I love not gifts Sir, becauſe they often prove bribes to corrupt.

Gold. Rich

Why, what do you love then?

Poor Vir

I love Truth, Fidelity, Juſtice, Chaſtity; and I love obedience to lawful Authority, which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring, I would ſuffer death.

Gold. Rich

Are you ſo wilful?

Poor Vir

No, I am ſo conſtant.

Gold. Rich

But young Maid, you oughrt not to deny all gifts, for there are gifts of pure affection, Love-gifts of Charity, gifts of Humanity, and gifts of Generoſity.

Poor Virtue

They are due debts, and not gifts; For thoſe you call gifts of pure Love, are payments to dear deſerving friends; and thoſe of Charity are payments to Heaven; and thoſe of Humanity are payments to Nature, and thoſe of Generoſity, are payments to Merit; but there are vain-glorious gifts, covetous gifts, gifts of fear, and gifts that ſerve as Bauds to corrupt fooliſh young Virgins.

Gold. Rich

Are you ſo wiſe as to refuſe them?

Poor Vir

I am ſo virtuous as not to take them.

Ex.
Act 205 Fff1r 205

Act V.

Scene. 22.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Viſitant.

Viſitant

What ſtill muſing, O thou idle creature?

Contemp

I am not idle, for I buſie my ſelf with my own fancies.

Viſitant

Fancies are like duſt, ſoon raiſed, and ſuddenly blown away.

Contemp

No, they are as fire-works that ſparkling flie about; or rather ſtars, ſet thick upon the brain, which gives a twinckling delight unto the mind.

Viſitant

Prethee delight thy friends with thy converſation, and ſpend not thy time with dull thoughts.

Contemp

Pray give me leave to delight my ſelf with my own thoughts, ſince I have no diſcourſe to entertain a hearer.

Viſitant

Why, your thoughts ſpeak in your mind, although your tongue keeps ſilence.

Contemp

’Tis true; but they diſturb not the mind with noiſe, for noiſe is the greateſt enemy the mind hath: and as for my part, I think the moſt uſeleſs ſenſe that Nature hath made, is hearing: the truth is, that hearing and ſmelling might well have been ſpared, for thoſe two ſenſes bring no materials into the brain; for ſound and ſcent are incorporal.

Viſitant

Then put out all the ſenſes.

Contemp

There is no reaſon for that, for the eyes bring in pictures which ſerve the mind for patterns to draw new fancies by, and to cut, or carve out figurative thoughts, and the laſt ſerves towards the nouriſhment of the body, and touches the life.

Viſitant

But wiſedome comes through the ear by inſtruction.

Contemp

Wiſedome comes through the eye by experience; for we ſhall doubt of what we only hear, but never doubt of what we ſee perfectly: But the ground of wiſedom is Reaſon, and Reaſon is born with the ſoul, wherefore the ear ſerves only for reproof, and reproof diſpleaſes the mind, and ſeldome doth the life any good; nay many times it makes it worſe, for the mind being diſpleaſed, grows angry, and being angry, malicious, and being malicious, revengeful, and revenge is war, and war is deſtruction.

Viſitant

But if you were deaf, you would loſe the ſweet harmony of muſick.

Contemp

Harmony becomes diſcord by often repetition, and at the beſt it doth but rock the thoughts aſleep; whereas the mind takes more pleaſure in the harmony of thoughts, and the muſick of fancy, than in any that the ſenſes can bring into it.

Viſitant

Prethee let this harmonious muſick ceaſe for a time, and let us go and viſit the Lady Converſation.

Contemp

It Seems a ſtrange humour to me, that all mankind in general ſhould have an itching tongue to talk, and take more pleaſure in the wagging thereof, than a beggar in ſcratching where a louſe hath bit.

Fff Viſit 206 Fff1v 206

Viſitant

Why, every part of the body was made for ſome uſe, and the tongue to expreſs the ſenſe of the mind.

Contemp

Pardon me, tongues were made for taſte, not for words, for words was an art which man invented: you may as well ſay, the hands were made to ſhuffle cards, or to do juggling tricks, when they were made to defend and aſſiſt the body; or you may as well ſay, the legs were made to cut capers, when they were made to carry the body, and to move, as to goe from place to place; for, though the hands can ſhuffle cards, or juggle, and the legs can cut capers, yet they were not made by Nature for that uſe, nor to that purpoſe; but howſoever, for the moſt part, the ſenſe and reaſon of the mind is loſt in the number of words; for there are millions of words for a ſingle figure of ſenſe, and many times a cyphre of nonſenſe ſtands inſtead of a figure of ſenſe: Beſides, there are more ſpirits ſpent, and fleſh waſted with ſpeaking, than is got or kept with eating, as witneſs Preachers, Pleaders, Players, and the like, who moſt commonly die with Conſumptions; and I believe, many of our effeminate Sex do hurt the lungs with over-exerciſing of their tongues, not only with licking and taſting of Sweet-meats, but with chatting and prating, twitling and twatling; for I cannot ſay ſpeaking, or diſcourſing, which are ſignificant words, placed in a methodical order, then march in a regular body upon the ground of Reaſon, where ſometimes the colour of Fancy is flying.

Viſitant

Now the Flag of your wit is flying, is the fitteſt time to encounter the Lady Converſation; and I make no queſtion but you will be Victorious, and then you ſhall be Crowned the Queen of Wit.

Contemp

I had rather bury my ſelf in a Monument of Thoughts, than ſit in the Throne of Applauſe for Talking.

Exeunt.

Scene 23.

Enter the Lord Title to Poor Virtue, who ſat under a little hedge, bending like a Bower. He ſits down by her.

Lord Title

Sweet, why ſit you ſo ſilently here?

Poor Virtue

My ſpeech is buried in my thoughts.

Lord Title

This ſilent place begets melancholy thoughts.

Poor Virtue

And I love melancholy ſo well, as I would have all as ſilent without me; as my thoughts are within me; and I am ſo well pleaſed with thoughts, as noiſe begets a grief, when it diſturbs them.

Lord Title

But moſt commonly Shepherds and Shepherdeſſes ſit and ſing to paſs away the time.

Poor Virtue

Miſfortunes have untuned my voice, and broke the ſtrings of mirth.

Lord Title

Misfortunes? what misfortunes are thou capable of? Thou haſt all thou wert born to.

Poor Virtue

I was born to die, and ’tis misfortune enough I live, ſince my life can do no good: I am but uſeleſs here.

Lord 207 Fff2r 207

Lord Title

You were born to help increaſe the world.

Poor Virtue

The world needs no increaſe, there are too many creatures already, eſpecially mankinde; for there are more than can live quietly in the world; for I perceive, the more populous, the more vicious.

Lord Title

’Tis ſtrange you ſhould be ſo young, ſo fair, ſo witty as you are, and yet ſo melancholy; thy poverty cannot make it, for thou never kneweſt the pleaſure of riches.

Poor Virtue

Melancholy is the only hopes I do rely upon, that though I am poor, yet that may make me wiſe; for fools are moſt commonly merrieſt, becauſe they underſtand not the follies that dwell therein, nor have enough conſideration of the unhappineſs of man, who hath endleſs deſires, unprofitable travels, hard labours, reſtleſs hours, ſhort pleaſures, tedious pains, little delights, blaſted joys, uncertain lives, and decreed deaths; and what is mirth good for? it cannot ſave a dying friend, nor help a ruined Kingdome, nor bring plenty to a famiſhed Land, nor quench out malignant Plagues; nor is it a ward to keep misfortunes off, though it may triumph on them.

Lord Title

But you a young Maid, ſhould do as young Maids do, ſeek out the company of young Men.

Poor Virtue

Young Maids may ſave themſelves that labour, for Men will ſeek out them, or elſe you would not be ſitting here with me.

Lord Title

And are you not pleas’d with my company?

Poor Virtue

What pleaſure can there be in fears?

Lord Title

Are you afraid of me?

Poor Virtue

Yes truly; for the ill example of men, corrupts the good principles in women: But I fear not the perverting of my Vertue, but mens incivilities.

Lord Title

They muſt be very rudely bred, that give you not reſpect, you being ſo very modeſt.

Poor Virtue

’Tis not enough to be chaſtly modeſt and honeſt, but as a ſervant to my Mr. and Mrs. I muſt be dutiful, and careful to their commands, and on their employments they have put to me: wherefore I muſt leave you Sir, and go fold my ſheep.

Lord Title

I will help you.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter Sir Golden Riches, and Mall Mean-bred. This Scene was written by my Lord Marquiſs of Newcaſtle.

Golden Rich

Sweet-heart, I have no Sonnets, Songs, or ſtronger Lines, with ſofter Poeſie to melt your Soul, nor Rhetorick to charm your Eares, or Logick for to force, or raviſh you, nor lap’t in richer cloaths embalm’d in Sweets, nor Courtly Language; but am an Ancient Squire, by name Sir Golden Riches, which hath force in all things, and then in Love; for Cupid being blinde, he is for feeling, and look here my Wench, this purſe is ſtuff’d with Gold, a hundred pounds.

Mall Mean-bred

Let me ſee, poure it on the ground.

Fff2 Golden 208 Fff2v 208

Gold. Rich

I will obey thee: Look here my Girl.

He pours it on the ground.

Mall Mean-bred

O dear, how it doth ſhine forſooth! it almoſt blinds mine eyes; take it away, yet pray let it ſtay: truly I know not what to do with it.

Gold. Rich

No? why it will buy you rich Gowns, ap’d in the Silk-worms toyls, with ſtockings of the ſofter ſilk, to draw on your finer legs, with rich lace ſhooes, with roſes that ſeem ſweet, and garters laced with ſpangles like twinckling Stars, embalm your hair with Geſsimond Pomatums, and rain Odoriferous Powders of Proud Rome.

Mall Mean-bred

O Heaven! what a Wench ſhall I be, could I get them! But ſhall we have fine things of the Pedlar too?

Gold. Rich

Buy all their packs, and ſend them empty home.

Mall Mean-bred

O mighty! I ſhall put down all the Wenches at the May-pole; then what will the Bag-piper ſay, do you think? Pray tell me, for he is a jeering knave.

Gold. Rich

Deſpise the Rural company, and that windy bag, change it for Balls with the greateſt Lords to dance, and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of frame.

Mall Mean-bred

Then I ſhall have a Mail Pillion, and ride behind our Thomas to the dancing.

Gold. Rich

No, you ſhall ride in rich gilt Coaches, Pages and Lacquies in rich Liveries, with Gentlemen well cloath’d, to wait upon you.

Mall Mean-bred

And be a Lady; then I will be proud, and will not know Thomas any more, nor any Maid that was acquainted with me.

Gold. Rich

You muſt forget all thoſe of your Fathers houſe too; for I’ll get a Pedigree ſhall fit you, and bring you Lineally deſcended from Great Charlemain.

Mall Mean-bred

No, I will have it from Charls Wayn my Fathers Carter; but I would ſo fain be a Lady, and it might be: I will be ſtately, laugh without a cauſe, and then I am witty, and jeer ſometimes, and ſpeak nonſenſe aloud. But this Gold will not ſerve for all theſe fine things.

Gold. Rich

Why then we will have hundreds and thouſands of pounds, until you be pleaſ’d, ſo I may but enjoy you in my Arms.

Mall Mean-bred

No Maid alive can hold out theſe Aſſaults, Gold is the Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates, a Souldier told me ſo. Well then, my Lord Title, farewel, for you are an empty name; and Sir Effeminate Lovely, go you to your Taylor, make some more fine cloaths in vain.

I’ll ſtick to Riches, do then what you will,

The neereſt way to pleaſure buy it ſtill.

Exeunt.
Scen. 209 Ggg1r 209

Scene 25.

Enter the Lady Ward alone.

Lady Ward

Why ſhould Lord Courtſhip diſlike me? Time hath not plowed wrinkles in my face, nor digged hollows in my cheeks, not hath he ſet mine eyes deep in my head, nor ſhrunk my ſinews up, nor ſuck’d my veins dry, nor fed upon my fleſh, making my body inſipid and bare; neither hath he quenched out my wit, nor decay’d my memory, nor ruin’d my underſtanding; but perchance Lord Courtſhip likes nothing but what is in perfection; and I am like a houſe which Time hath not fully finiſhed, nor Education throughly furniſhed.

Scene 26.

Enter Poor Virtue, and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming from Mall Mean-bred.

Golden Riches

Sweet-heart, refuſe not Riches, it will buy thee friends, pacifie thy enemies; it will guard thee from thoſe dangers that throng upon the life of every creature.

Poor Virtue

Heavenly Providence is the Marſhal which makes way for the life to paſs through the croud of dangers, and my Vertue will gain me honeſt friends, which will never forſake me, and my humble ſubmiſſion will pacifie my enemies, were they never ſo cruel.

Gold. Rich

But Riches will give thee delight, and place thee in the midſt of pleaſures.

Poor Virtue

No, it is a peaceable habitation, a quiet and ſound ſleep, and a healthful body, that gives delight and pleaſure, and ’tis not riches; but riches many times deſtroy the life of the body, or the reaſon in the ſoul, or, at leaſt, bring infirmities thereto through luxury; for luxury ſlackens the Nerves, quenches the Spirits, and drowns the Brain, and ſlackned Nerves make weak Bodies, quenched Spirits, timorous Minds, a drowned Brain, and watry Underſtanding, which cauſeth Sloth, Effeminacy, and Simplicity.

Gold. Rich

How come you to know ſo much of the world, and yet know ſo few paſſages in it, living obſcurely in a Farmers houſe?

Poor Virtue

The Aſtronomers can meaſure the diſtance of the Planets, and take the compaſs of the Globe, yet never travel to them, nor have they Embaſſadors from them, nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence.

Gold. Rich

How come you to be ſo learnedly judicious, being ſo young, poor, and meanly born and bred?

Poor Virtue

Why, Fire, Air, Water, and Earth, Animals, Vegetables, and Minerals, are Volumes large enough to expreſs Nature, and make a Scholar learn to know the courſe of her works, and to underſtand many effectsGgg fects 210 Ggg1v 210 fects produced therefrom. And as for Judgment and Wit, they are brother and ſiſter; and although they do not alwayes, and at all times agree, yet are they alwayes the children of the Brain, being begot by Nature. Thus what Wit or Knowledge I have, may come immediately from Nature, not from my Birth or Breeding; but howſoever, I am not what I ſeem.

Exeunt.

Scene 27

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Viſitant.

Viſitant

What makes you look ſo ſad?

Contempl

Why Monſieur Amorous’s viſit hath been the cauſe of the death of one of the fineſt Gentlemen of this Age.

Viſitant

How, Pray?

Contempl

Why thus; my Imagination (for Imagination can Create both Maſculine and Feminine Lovers) had Created a Gentleman that was handſomer and more beautiful than Leander, Adonis, or Narciſſus; valianter than Tamberlain, Scanderbeg, Hannibal, Cæſar, or Alexander; ſweeter- natur’d than Titus, the delight of mankinde; better-ſpoken, and more eloquent than Tully, or Demoſthenes; wittyer than Ovid, and a better Poet than Homer. This man to fall deſperately in love with me, as loving my Vertues, honouring my Merits, admiring my Beauty, wondring at my Wit, doting on my Perſon, adoring me as an Angel, worſhipping me as a Goddeſs; I was his Life, his Soul, his Heaven. This Lover courted my affections with all the induſtry of Life, gifts of Fortune, and actions of Honour; ſued for my favour, as if he had ſued to Heaven for mercy; but I, as many cruel goddeſſes do, would neither receive his obligations, nor regard his vowes, nor pity his tears, nor hearken to his complaints, but rejectd his Sute, and gave him an abſolute denyal; whereupon he was reſolved to dye, as believing no torments could be compared to thoſe of my diſdain; and ſince I would not love him living, he hoped by dying, his death might move my pity, and ſo beget a compaſſionate remembrance from me; wherupon he got ſecretly neer my chamber-door, and hung himſelf juſt where I muſt go out, which when I ſaw, I ſtarted back in a great fright, but at laſt running forth to call for help to cut him down, in came Monſieur Amorous, which hindrance made me leave him hanging there, as being aſhamed to own my cruelty; and he hath been talking, or rather prating here for ſo long, as by this time my kind Love is dead.

Viſitant

O no, for Lovers will hang a long time before they dye; for their necks are tuff, and their hearts are large and hot.

Contempl

Well, pray leave me alone, that I may cut him down, and give him Cordials to reſtore life.

Viſitant

Faith you muſt let him hang a little time longer, for I have undertaken to make you a ſociable Lady this day; wherefore you muſt goe abroad to a friends houſe with me.

Contempl

Who I? what do you think I will goe abroad, and leave my Lover in a twiſted ſtring? his legs hanging dangling down, his face all black and ſwelled, and his eyes almoſt ſtarted out of his head? no, no, pray goe alone by your ſelf, and leave me to my Contemplation.

Viſitant 211 Ggg2r 211

Viſitant

Well, if you will not goe, I will never ſee you, nor be friends with you again.

Contempl

Pray not be angry, for I will go, if you will have me, although I ſhall be but a dull companion; for I ſhall not ſpeak one word; for whereſoever I am, my thoughts will uſe all their Induſtry to cut the ſtring, and take him down, and rub and chafe him againſt a hot fire.

Viſitant

Come, come, you ſhall heat your ſelf with dancing, and let your Lover hang.

Contempl

That I cannot; for active bodies and active brains are never at once, the one diſturbs the other.

Viſitant

Then it ſeems you had rather have an active brain, than an active body.

Contempl

Yes; for when the brain doth work, the underſtanding is inriched, and knowledge is gained thereby: whereas the body doth oft times waſte the life with too much exerciſe.

Viſitant

Take heed you do not diſtemper your brain with too much exerciſising your thoughts.

Contempl

All diſtempers proceed from the body, and not from the minde; for the minde would be well, did not the humours and appetites of the body force it into a diſtemper.

Viſitant

Well, upon the condition you will goe, you ſhall ſit ſtill, and your wit ſhall be the Muſick.

Contempl

Prethee let me reſt at home; for to day the ſtrings of my wit are broken, and my tongue, like a fiddle, is out of tune: Beſides, Contemplative perſons are at all times dull ſpeakers, although they are pleaſant thinkers.

Exeunt.

Finis.

212 Ggg2v 212

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation

The Actors Names.

Lord Title.

Lord Courtſhip.

Sir Fancy Poet.

Sir Experienced Traveller.

Sir Humphry Interruption.

Sir Golden Riches.

Sir Effeminate Lovely.

Sir John Argument.

Sir Vain Complement.

Maſter Inquirer.

Doctor Practice.

Old Humanity.

Roger Farmer.

Thom. Purveyer.

2. Beadles, Gentlemen and others.

Lady Amorous.

Lady Ward.

Lady Contemplation

Lady Converſation.

Lady Viſitant.

Poor Virtue.

Miſtris Troubleſome.

Mistris Goſſip.

Miſtris Meſſenger, Lady Amorous’s woman.

Nurſe Careful.

Maudling Huſwife, Roger Farmers wife.

Mall Mean-bred, their daughter.

Miſtris Troubleſomes maid.

Servants and others.

The 213 Hhh1r 213

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation.

Act I.

Scene.1.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.

Effeminate Lovely

Sweet-heart, you are a moſt Heavenly Creature.

Poor Virtue

Beauty is created and placed oftner in the fancy, than in the face.

Effem. Lovely

’Tis ſaid there is a Sympathy in likeneſs; if ſo, you and I ſhould love each other, for we are both beautiful.

Poor Virtue

But ’tis a queſtion whether our Souls be anſwerable to our Perſons.

Effem. Lovely

There is no queſtion or doubt to be made, but that loving ſouls live in beautiful perſons.

Poor Virtue

And do thoſe loving ſoules dye, when their beauties are decayed and withered?

Effem

The ſubject pleads it ſelf, without the help of Rhetorick, for Love and Beauty lives and dies together.

Poor Virtue

’Tis Amorous Love that dies when Beauty is gone, not Vertuous Love; for as Amorous Love is bred, born, lives, and dies with the appetite : ſo Vertuous Love is Created, and ſhall live with the Soul for ever.

Effem. Lovely

You may call it what love you pleaſe.

Poor Virtue

It is no love, but a diſeaſe.

Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtſhip

Why did you leave the Lady Amorous company ſo uncivilly, as to go out of the room, leaving her all alone?

Lady Ward

I heard your Lordſhip was coming, then I thought it was fit for me to withdraw; for I have heard Lovers deſire to be alone.

Lord Courtſhip

Do you deſire to be alone with a man?

Lady Ward

I am no ſuch Lover, for I am too young as yet, but I know not what I ſhall or may be wrought or brought to, but time and good example may inſtruct and lead me into the way of amorous love.

Lord Courtſhip

May it ſo?

Lady Ward

Why not? for I am docible, and youth is apt to learn.

Hhh Lord 214 Hhh1v 214

Lord Court

But before I marry you, I would have you learn to know how to be an obedient wife, as to be content, and not murmure at my actions, alſo to pleaſe my humour, but not to imitate my practice.

Lady Ward

If I might adviſe your Lordſhip, I would adviſe you to take ſuch a Portion out of my Eſtate, as you ſhall think juſt or fit, and then quit me, and chooſe ſuch a one as you ſhall like, for I ſhall never pleaſe you; for though I may be apt to learn what will pleaſe my ſelf, yet I am dull and intractable to learn obedience to anothers will, nor can I flatter their delights.

Lord Court

I finde you have learned, and now begin to practice how to talk; for now your ſober ſilence ſeems as dead and buried in the rubbiſh of fooliſh words: But let me tell you, a talking wife will never pleaſe me; wherefore practice patience, and keep ſilence, if you would enjoy the happineſs of peace.

The Lord Courtſhip goes out. Lady Ward alone.

Lady Ward

There can be no peace, when the mind is diſcontented.

Exit.

Scene. 3.

Enter Lord Title, and Poor Vertue.

Poor Virtue

Why do you follow me ſo much, as never to let me reſt in peace and quiet alone? Is it that you think I have beauty? and is it that you are in love with? why, to cure your diſeaſe, I will deform it; or do you think I have wit to cure that Imagination? I will put my tongue to ſilence. I am ſure it cannot be my Vertue that inflames you to an intemperance; for Vertue is an Antidote againſt it: But had you all the beauty in Nature ſqueez’d into your form, and all the wit in Nature preſt into your brain, and all the proſperities of good fortune at your command, and all the power of Fate and Deſtiny at your diſpoſal, you could not perſwade me to yield to your unlawful deſires; for know, I an honeſt without ſelfends; my virtue, like to Time, ſtill running forward; my chaſtity fix’d as Eternity, without circumferent lines; beſides, it is built on the foundation of Morality, and roof’d and ciel’d with the faith of Religion, and the materials thereof are Honour, which no ſubtil Arguments can ſhake the one, nor no falſe Doctrine can corrupt or rot the other; neither is the building ſubject to the fire of unlawful love, nor the tempeſtuous ſtorms of torments, nor the deluge of poverty, nor the earthquakes of fear, nor the ruines of death; for ſo long as my Soul hath a being, my Chaſtity will live. But were you as poor as I, Even to move pity, or ſo lowly and meanly born, as might bring contempt and ſcorn from the proud, yet if your mind and ſoul were endued with noble qualities, and heroical vertues, I ſhould ſooner embrace your love, than to be Miſtris of the whole World; for my affection to merit hath been ingrafted into the root of my Infancy, which hath grown up with my yeares, ſo that the longer I live, the more it increaſes.

Lord Title

You cannot think I would marry you, although I would lie with you.

Poor 215 Hhh2r 215

Poor Virtue

I cannot but think it more poſſible that you ſhould marry me, than I to be diſhoneſt.

Lord Title

Thou art a mean poor wench, and I nobly deſcended.

Poor Virtue

What though I am poor, yet I am honeſt, and poverty is no crime; nor have my Anceſtors left marks of infamy to ſhame me to the world

Lord Title

Thy Anceſtors? what were they but poor peaſants? wherefore thou wilt dignifie thy Race, by yielding to my love.

Poor Virtue

Heaven keep them from that dignity that muſt be gained by my diſhoneſty: no, my chaſtity ſhall raiſe a Monumental Tomb over their cold dead aſhes.

Poor Vrirtue goes out. Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

What pity it is Nature ſhould put ſo noble a ſoul into a meanborn body.

Exit.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtſ

Pray go viſit the Lady Amorous, and if her husband be abſent, deliver her this letter.

Lady Ward

Excuſe me my Lord.

Lord Courtſ

Wherefore?

Lady Ward

I am no Carrier of Love-letters.

Lord Courtſ

But you ſhall carry this.

Lady Ward

But I will not.

Lord Courtſ

Will you not?

Lady Ward

No, I will rather endure all the torments that can be invented.

Lord Courtſ

And you ſhall; for I will torture you if you do not; for I will have you drawn up high by two thumbs, which is a pain will force you to ſubmit.

The Lady Ward falls into a paſsion.

Lady Ward

Do ſo if you will; nay ſcrue me up into the middle-Region, there will I take a Thunderbolt, and ſtrike you dead, and with ſuch ſtrength I’ll fling it on you, as it ſhall preſs your ſoul down to the everlaſting ſhades of death.

Lord Courtſ

Sure you will be more merciful.

Lady Ward

No more than Devils are to ſinful ſouls; there will I be your Bawd, to procure you variety of torments; for I had rather be one in Pluto’s black Court, cauſed by my own revenge, than to be a Bawd on earth, which is a humane Devil.

Lord Courtſ

You are mad.

Lady Ward

Might every word I ſpeak prove like a mad dogs bite, not only to transform your ſhape, and turn your ſpeech to barks and howlings, but that your ſoul may be no other than the ſouls of beaſts are.

Lord Courtſ

You are transformed from a ſilent young Maid to a raging Fury.

Lady Ward

May all the Furies that Hell inhabites, and thoſe that live Hhh2 on 216 Hhh2v 216 on earth, torment your minde, as rack do torture bodies, and may the venom of all malice, ſpleen, and ſpight, be ſqueez’d into your ſoul, and poyſon all content, your thoughts flame like burning oyl, and never quench, but be eternally a fiery Animal; and may the fire feed onlely on your ſelf, and as it burns, your torments may increaſe.

The Lady Ward goes out. Lord Courtſhip alone.

Lord Courtſ

She is mad, very mad, and I have only been the cauſe.

Exit.

Scene 5.

Enter the Lord Title, and Poor Virtue,.

Lord Title

Faireſt, will not you ſpeak?

Poor Virtue

My words have betrayed my heart, as diſcovering the ſecrets therein: wherefore I will baniſh them, and ſhut the doors of my lips againſt them.

Lord Title

What, for ſaying you love me.

Poor Virtue weeps.

Sweet, why do you weep?

Poor Virtue

Tears are the beſt Cordials for a heart oppreſt with grief.

Lord Title

I ſhould hate my ſelf, if I could think I were the cauſe. But pray forbear to weep.

Poor Virtue

Pray give my grief a liberty, my tears are no diſturbance, they ſhowre down without a ratling noiſe, and ſilent fall without a murmuring voice; but you diſturb me: Wherefore for pity-ſake leave me, and I will pray you may enjoy as much proſperity as good fortune can preſent you with, and as much health as Nature can give you, and as much tranquillity as Heaven can infuſe into a mortal creature.

Lord Title

Neither Fortune, Nature, nor Heaven can pleaſe me, or make me happy in this world without you.

Poor Virtue

O you torment me.

Exit, the Lord follows her.

Scene 6.

Enter Sir Humphry Interruption to the Lady Contemplation.

Sir Humphry Inter

Surely Lady Contemplation your thoughts muſt needs be very excellent, that they take no delight but with themſelves.

Lady Contempl

My thoughts, although they are not material, as being profitable, yet they are innocent, as being harmleſs.

Sir Humphry Inter

Yet your thoughts do the world an injury, in burying your words in the grave of ſilence.

Lady Contempl

Let me inform you, that ſometimes they creep out of their 217 Iii1r 217 their graves as Ghoſts do, and as Ghoſts walk in ſolitary places, ſo I ſpeak to my ſolitary ſelf, which words offend no ears, becauſe I ſpeak to no ears but my own; and as they have no flatterers to applaud them, ſo they have no cenſurers to condemn them.

Sir Humphry Inter

But you bury your life, whilſt you live retir’d from company.

Lady Contempl

O no, for otherwiſe my life would be buried in company; for my life never enjoys it ſelf, but when it is alone; and for the moſt part, all publick ſocieties are like a diſcord in Muſick, every one playing ſeveral contrary parts in their actions, ſpeaking in ſeveral contrary notes, ſtriking on ſeveral contrary ſubjects, which makes a confuſion; and a confuſed noiſe is like a diſordered multitude, only the one offends the ear, as the other offends the eyes; and there can be no pleaſure but in harmony, which harmony is Quantity, Quality, Symmetry, and Unity; and though quality, quantity, and ſymmetry are brought by the Senſes, yet Unity is made in the mind. Thus Harmony lives in the minde; for without the minde, the ſenſes could take no delight.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene. 7.

Enter the Lady Ward, and Doctor Practice.

Doctor Practice

How do you Lady?

Lady Ward

Why very well Doctor, how do you?

Doctor Prac

Why I was ſent, as being believed you are mad.

Lady Ward

Troth Doctor that’s no wonder; for all the world is mad, more or leſs.

Doctor Prac

Do you finde any diſtemper in your head?

Lady Ward

My head will ake ſometimes.

Doctor Pract

I mean a diſtemper in your minde.

Lady Ward

My minde is troubled ſometimes.

Doctor Pract

That is not well: let me feel your pulſe.

Lady Ward

Why Doctor, can you know the temper of my mind, by the feeling of my pulſe?

Doctor Pract

There is a great Sympathy between the Minde and the Body.

Lady Ward

But I doubt, Doctor, your learned skill is many times deceived by the pulſe; you will ſooner find a mad diſtemper in the tongue or actions, than in the writſts.

Doctor Prac

In troth Lady, you ſpeak reaſon, which thoſe that are mad do not do.

Lady Ward

O yes, Doctor, but they doe, as you cure Diſeaſes, by chance.

Exeunt.
Iii Scene 218 Iii1v 218

Scene 8.

Enter the Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

O Love, diſſembling love, that ſeem’ſt to be the beſt of paſſions, and yet torments the ſoul!

He walks in a melancholy muſe. Enter Master Inquirer.

Maſter Inquirer

What makes your Lordſhip ſo melancholy, as to ſhun all your friends, to walk alone?

Lord Title

I am in Love.

Maſter Inqui

There are many remedies for love.

Lord Title

I would you could tell me one.

Maſter Inqui

May I know the Lady you are in love with?

Lord Title

The Lady ſay you? ſhe is a poor Lady.

Maſter Inqui

Your Lordſhip is ſo rich, as you may marry without a portion ,.

Lord Title

O I could curſe my fate, and rail at my deſtiny.

Maſter Inqui

For what?

Lord Title

To make me fall in love with one I am aſham’d to make her known.

Maſter Inqui

Is ſhe ſo mean, and yet ſo beautiful?

Lord Title

O ſhe hath all the Beauties and Graces that can attract a ſoul to love; for ſurely Nature ſate in Councel to make her body, and the Gods ſate in Councel to compoſe her mind.

Maſter Inqui

May not I ſee her?

Lord Title

Yes.

Maſter Inqui

Where may I find her?

Lord Title

Upon the next Plain, under a buſh that bends much like a bower, there ſhe moſt commonly ſits to watch her ſheep; but I will goe with you.

Maſter Inqui

You Lordſhip is not jealous?

Lord Title

All Lovers think their Beloved is never ſecure enough.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Nurſe Careful, as in a fright, unto the Lady Ward.

Nurſe Careful

O my Child, I am told that on a ſudden you turned mad!

Lady Ward

Surely Nurſe your fear, or what elſe it may be, you ſeem to me to be more mad than I can find in my ſelf to be.

Nurſe Caref

That ſhews you are mad.

Lady Ward

If I am mad, I ſuck’d the madneſs from your breſt.

Nurſe 219 Iii2r 219

Nurſe Caref

I do confeſs, Child, I have not had thoſe mad vagaries ſince I gave ſuck, as I had before.

Lady Ward

’Tis a ſigne you are grown old, Nurſe.

Nurſe Caref

I confeſs, Youth is oftner mad than Age; but dear Child tell me, art thou mad?

Lady Ward

Prethee Nurſe, leſt thou ſhouldſt become mad, goe ſleep to ſettle thy thoughts, and quiet thy mind, for I remember a witty Poet, one Doctor Don, ſaith,

Sleep is pains eaſie ſalve, and doth fulfil

All Offices, unleſs it be to kill.

Nurſe Careful cries out, as in a great fright.

Nurſe Caref

O Heavens, what ſhall I do, what ſhall I do!

Enter Doctor Practice.

Doctor Pract

What is the matter Nurſe, what is the matter you ſhreek out ſo?

Nurſe Caref

O Doctor, my Child is mad, my Child is mad; for ſhe repeats Verſes.

Doctor Pract

That’s an ill ſigne indeed.

Lady Ward

Doctor, did you never repeat Latine Sentences when you have read Lectures, nor Latine Verſes, when you did Diſpute in Schools?

Doctor Pract

Yes, Sweet Lady, a hundred times.

Lady Ward

Lord, Doctor, have you been mad a hundred times, and recovered ſo often!

Nurſe Caref

Thoſe were Latine Verſes, thoſe were Latine Verſes Child.

Doctor Pract

Faith Lady you poſe me.

Lady Ward

Then Doctor go to School again, or at leaſt return again to the Univerſity and ſtudy again, and then practice not to be poſed.

Doctor Pract

Nurſe, ſhe is not well, ſhe muſt be put to a diet.

Lady Ward

But why, Doctor, ſhould you think me mad? I have done no outragious action; and if all thoſe that ſpeak extravagantly ſhould be put to a diet, as being thought mad, many a fat waſte would ſhrink in the doublet, and many a Poetical vein would be dryed up, and the flame quench’d out for want of radical oyl to prolong it; Thus Wit would be ſtarved, for want of vapour to feed it; The truth is, a ſpare diet may make room in a Scholars head for old dead Authors to lie in; for the emptyer their heads are of wit, the fuller they may be fill’d with learning; for I do imagine, old dead Authors lie in a Scholars head, as they ſay ſouls do, none knows where, for a million of ſouls to lie in as ſmall a compaſs as the point of a needle.

Doctor Pract

Her brain is hotly diſtemper’d, and moves with an extraordinary quick motion, as may be perceiv’d by her ſtrange fancy: wherefore Nurſe you had beſt get her to bed, if you can, and I will preſcribe ſome medicine and rules for her.

Nurſe Caref

Come ſweet child, let me put thee to bed.

Lady Ward

I will go to bed, if you would have me, but good Nurſe believe me, I am not mad; it’s true, the force of my paſſion hath made my Reaſon to erre; and though my Reaſon hath gone aſtray, yet it is not loſt: But conſider well Nurſe, and tell me what noble minde can ſuffer a baſe ſervitude without rebellious paſſions. But howſoever, ſince they are of this opinion, I am content to cheriſh it, if you approve of it; for if I ſeem mad, Iii2 the 220 Iii2v 220 the next of my kindred will beg the keeping of me for the ſake of my Eſtate; and I had rather loſe my Eſtate, and be thought mad, than loſe my honour in baſe offices, and my free-born liberty to be inſlaved to whores; and though I do not fear my honeſt youth can be corrupted by ill example, yet I will not have my youth a witneſs to wicked and baſe vice.

Nurſe Caref

By no means, I do not approve of theſe ſtrange wayes; beſides, you are a Ward to a gallant man, and may be Mariage will alter his humour; for moſt commonly thoſe back-holders that are the greateſt Libertines, make the beſt Husbands.

Lady Ward

’Tis true, he is of a noble nature, valiant and generous, prudent, and juſt, and temperate in all delights, and free from all other vices but Incontinency, civil and obliging to all the world, but to me, and I could love him better than life, could he be conſtant, and only love me as he ought to do a Wife; otherwiſe, Death were more pleaſing to me.

Exeunt.

Scene 10.

Enter the Lady Contemplation muſing, and the Lady Viſitant comes to her.

Lady Contempl

You were born to do me a miſchief.

Lady Viſit

Why how?

Lady Contempl

Why you have routed an Army.

Lady Visit

Which way?

Lady Contempl

I did imagine my ſelf Married, my Husband being a General of an Army, who had fought many Battels, and had won many Victories, conquer’d many Nations, at laſt an unfortunate day of Battel being fought, my Husband being too active and venturous, making lanes of ſlain bodies as he went, and his horſe riding thorow Rivers of blood, thoſe Rivers riſing ſo high, as his horſe was forced to ſwim; but the blood growing thick to a jelly, obſtructed his way, which made his horſe furious, which fury added to his ſtrength, forced a paſſage over a hill, or heap of ſlain bodies; but the horſes ſpirits being ſpent with fury and labour, fell ſtrengthleſs to the ground, with my Husband upon his back; and being in the midſt of his Enemies Army, his Enemies ſeeing him fall, ran about him in great numbers, and ſo took him priſoner: whereupon his Souldiers ſoon miſsing him, thought he was kill’d; upon which belief, their courages grew cold, their limbs unactive, and their ſpirits ſo benumm’d, as they all ſeemed like to a number of ſtone-ſtatues; which unactive dulneſs gave their Enemies the Day without any after-blows. I being in the Camp, hearing of my Husbands misfortunes, ran with a diſtracted fear towards the Enemies Camp; I being eſpy’d by ſome of my Husbands ſatter’d Troops, was ſtop’d in the way, and ſo brought back to my Tent again; where, when I was there, ſome of my Husbands Officers of the Army told me, That though the Day was loſt, yet there was a conſiderable Body left; which I no ſooner heard, but my ſpirits took new life, and then excuſing my fear, told thoſe Comanders it was not through fear that made me run out of my Tent; for I did not 221 Kkk1r 212221 not fly from my Enemies, but to them, and that I ſought death, and not life; and to expreſs my courage, I told them, That if they would give me leave, I would take my Husbands Office, and lead the Army: They told me, that if the reſt of the Commanders would agree to it, they were well contented: So when all the Commanders met together, I ſpake thus unto them

Noble Friends, and valiant Souldiers, you may think it a vain ambition for me to deſire to lead your Army, eſpecially againſt ſo potent an Enemy, and being a woman, which female Sex are uſually unexperienced in Martial Affairs, as alſo by nature fearful, which fears may ruine an Army, by giving wrong direction, cauſing a confuſion through diſtraction; and truly an Army were not to be truſted unto a womans management and ordering, if that Records had not given us Precedents, which is, that Women have led Armies, have fought valiantly themſelves, and have had good ſucceſs, and not ſo much by fortunes favour, as by their own wiſe Conduct: And to ſhew that Pallas is a friend unto her own Sex, is, that in all Hiſtory, there are very few women that can be found, that have loſt Battels in the field of Wars, but many that have won Battels; and in all publick Affairs it is to be obſerved, the Gods do generally aſſiſt our Sex, whereby to ſhew their own power, and to abate the haughty pride of men. But to induce you more; for men truſt not ſo much unto the Gods, as to their own ſtrength, is, that you are preſent in all Councels and Actions, to aſſiſt and direct me; beſides, I am Wife unto your General, who was and is an expert Souldier, and a valiant man, although he now had ill fortune; but ill fortune neither leſſens valour nor experience, but rather increaſes them. This gallant and wiſe man, my Husband and your General, his Diſcourſes have been my Tutors, and his Example hath and ſhall be my Guide; and if you dare truſt me, I dare venture; otherwiſe I ſhall ſtay in my Tent, and pray for your good ſucceſs. After I had left off ſpeaking, an old Commander which had ſerved long in the Wars, and was much eſteemed, anſwered me as thus

Noble Lady, although your youth doth diſſwade us, yet your beauty and wit doth encourage us; for what man, although he were poſſeſt with fear it ſelf, can run away when a fair Lady fights? for beauty triumphs in all hearts, and commands the whole world: wherefore that man that ſhall or will deny to follow your Command, is of a baſtard-kind, although a lawful Iſſue. With that all the reſt of the Commanders cry’d or call’d out, that none was ſo fit to Lead and Command them as I. Thus being choſen, I call’d a general Muſter of my Souldiers, and then gave order that ſome of the broken Regiments ſhould be mended and made up with other broken Regiments, alſo I made new Officers in the room of thoſe that were ſlain or taken priſoners, and after, I ſurveyed my Artillery and Ammunition; which done, I drew my Army into a Body, and after I had given Orders and Directions for the Souldiers to march towards the Enemies Camp, which when the Enemy heard of a new Army coming towards them, they drew out the Body of their Army in Battel Array: But I ſhunn’d to fight ſo ſoon as appeared, by reaſon my Army was tyred with marching; wherefore I gave order to Intrench: Beſides I thought it might give my ſouldiers more courage, when accuſtomed to the ſight and neighbourhood of the Enemies: But withall, I made ſome of them give intelligence to the Enemy that a woman led the Army, by which they might deſpiſe us, and ſo becomeKkk come 222 Kkk1v 222 come more negligent, by which negligence we might have an advantage: In the mean time I ſent to Treat of a Peace, and to have my Husband ſet at liberty; but the Enemy was ſo averſe to a peace, as they returned me both jeſting and ſcornful Anſwers: So when I ſaw no peace could be made, I drew out my Army into Battel Array; which when the Enemy perceiv’d, they did the like; but it will be too tedious at this time to tell the Form and Figures I put my Army into, as alſo what Commanders led, or who commanded the Horſe, or who commanded the Foot that day; only let me tell you, I led the Van my ſelf, and was Accoutred after this manner: I had a Maſculine Suit, and over that a cloth of ſilver Coat, made cloſe to my waſte, which reached to the ankles of my legs; and thoſe Arms I wore being all gilt, were Back, Breſt, Gorget, Pot and Gantlet, all being made light according as my ſtrength would bear: In my hand I carried my Sword; for being not accuſtomed, I could not wear a ſword by my ſide, as men do, but whenſoever reſted, I tyed it to my Saddle-bow, and on my Head-piece I wore a great Plume of Feathers: As for my Horſe, he was cole-black, only a white ſtar on his fore-head, and three white feet; my Saddle was crimſon Velvet, but ſo imbroidred with ſilver and gold, as the ground could not be ſeen: But when I was mounted, I ſpoke as following unto the common ſouldiers.

Worthy Friends, and laborous, and valiant Souldiers, you may juſtly wonder to ſee a Woman thus Accoutred like a man, and being one of the tender female Sex to be arm’d as a ſouldier, and in a poſture to fight a Battel: Alſo you may fear the ſucceſſe of my Command, by reaſon I am young, and unexperienced, as alſo unpracticed in the Wars: But fear not, the gods are with me, and will aſſiſt me, and have promiſed to give you victory by my Conduct; for they will conduct me: But the Gods ſuffer’d the other Battel to be loſt, becauſe many Victories had made you proud, and conceited of your ſelves, and your own valours, truſting more to your own ſtrength, than to their favours or powers, whereupon the Gods deſtroy’d many of you; but ſince they have taken pity of you, drawn to it by your humility, whereupon the Gods have commanded me to Lead and Conduct you; and they have alſo commanded me to tell you, That it you truſt in them, and fight couragiouſly, that you ſhall have Victory, and rich Spoils; for I heard the common people, of which common ſouldiers were of, were apt to be ſuperſtitious, and to believe in any new reports, as alſo to believe in Miracles, Prophecies, and the like, and withall, very covetous; all which, made me feign my ſelf to be commanded immediately from the Gods, and to be ſent as from the Gods to command them, and to declare ſuch promiſes to them; for all the common ſouldiers fight for Spoils, not for Honour.

Lady Viſitant

O but it is not good to diſſemble.

Lady Contempl

Pardon me; for without policy (which is deceit) there can be neither government in peace or war: wherefore it is a vertue in a Stateſ-man, or a Commander, to be a diſſembler, although it be a vice in any other man; but you have put me out as you always do, and therefore I will tell you no more.

Lady Viſitant

Nay, pray make an end.

Lady Contempl

I will not; but I could have told you how I kill’d the General of the Enemy with my own hand, and how I releas’d my Husband, and of ſuch gallant Acts as you never heard the like of.

Lady Viſitant

O pray tel me.

Lady 223 Kkk2r 223

Lady Contempl

Which if I do, let me never contemplate more, which would be worſe than death to me, by reaſon it is the onely pleaſure of my life.

Exeunt.

Act III.

Scene. 11.

Enter Poor Vertue alone.

Poor Vertue

O Love, though thou art bred within the Soul, yet by the Senſes thou art begotten, or elſe by ſome Opinions; for Virtue is but the Tutor, or Guide, for to inſtruct or lead thee in a perfect way; but though I lead Love right, yet may it meet Oppoſers.

Exit.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and Doctor Practice.

Lord Courtſ

How do you find my Ward?

Doctor Pract

Truly ſhe is ſomewhat diſtemper’d; for her wit is very quick.

Lord Courtſ

That’s it; for ſhe being naturally of a dull diſpoſition, and of a milde humour, and her brain ſlow of conceits, as alſo unpractis’d in ſpeaking, ſhould of a ſudden fall into high raptures.

Doctor Pract

You ſay true, my Lord, and it is to be fear’d this diſtemper will increaſe.

Lord Courtſ

Pray Doctor have a regard and care to her diſtemper; for I would not willingly have a Wife that is more mad than natural women are.

Exeunt.

Scene 13.

Enter the Lord Title, and Maſter Inquirer.

Lord Title

She is not here.

Enter Poor Virtue, with a ſheephook in her hand.

Lord Title

O yonder ſhe comes.

Maſter Inqui

She hath a garb not like a Farmers Maid, but rather one Kkk2 that’s 224 Kkk2v 224 that’s nobly born, and her garments, though mean, fit neatly on her body.

Maſter AdviſerInquirer goeth to her.

Fair Shepherdeſs, it is a melancholy life you lead.

Poor Virtue

It is a courſe of life ſuits beſt to my condition.

Maſter Inqui

You may change this condition if you pleaſe.

Poor Virtue

I had rather lie honoured in death, than by diſhonour raiſed to glorious ſtate of life.

Maſter Inqui

But here you live like a creature not produced by mankind, amongſt beaſts, having no converſation by diſcourſe.

Poor Vir

Want of Speech makes not beaſts beaſts, but want of Reaſon, ; want of Reaſon makes a man a beaſt; and ſpeech rather diſturbs than benefits the life, when ſilence and pure thoughts make men like Angels, whereas ſpeech ſometimes expreſſes men like Devils, blaſpheming Heaven and God, fomenting factions amongſt their kind, betraying truſt ; friendſhip, cozening innocency, flattering vice, reproaching virtue, and with diſtractions ſtrives to pull down honour from its ſeat; where ſilence refines the thoughts, elevates the fancy, quickens wit, ſtrengthens judgment, allays anger, ſweetens melancholy, and collects the Reaſon.

Maſter Inqui

Thou art a wonder, and for this one Speech I doe adore thee.

Poor Virtue

I ſhould be ſorry ſo worthy a perſon, and ſo noble a Gentleman as you ſeem to be, ſhould adore my Speech, when it might be chance that did produce it, and not wit or judgment.

Maſter Inqui

Thy Speech is like to Orpheus Harp, it charms all ears that hear it.

Poor Virtue

I wiſh my Speech were like a Loadſtone, to draw the iron hearts of men to pity and compaſsion, to charity and devotion.

Poor Virtue offers to be gone.

Lord Title

Pray ſtay and chooſe me for your Love, and let me go along with you.

Poor Virtue

An Amorous Lover, as I believe your Lordſhip is, never walks in ſober pace, nor hath a conſtant and aſſur’d minde; for Amorous Lovers run with might and main, as if deſires were catch’d with haſte.

Poor Virtue goes out, Lord Title follows her. Maſter Inquirer alone.

Maſter Inqui

I perceive Farmers breed pretty Maids, and honeſt, as well as Lambs and Doves, and witty and well-behav’d Maids, as well as Courts and Cities do. O that I were unmaried, that I might wed this Sweet, Fair Country-maid!

Enter Mall Mean-bred, with a pail in her hand.

Maſter Inqui

But ſtay, here comes another by my troth, a very pretty Laſs, but yet her garments fit not ſo neat, not becoming, nor is her behaviour ſo graceful as the other Maids was. Sweet Miſtris!

Mall Mean-bred

Pray keep your jeers to your ſelf, I am no Miſtris.

Maſter Inqui

You may be my Miſtris, if you pleaſe, and I will be your ſervant.

Mall Mean-bred

What to do?

Maſter 225 Lll1r 225

Maſter Inqui

What you pleaſe.

Mall Mean-bred

I am ſeldome pleaſed, and an idle fellow will anger me more.

Maſter Inqui

I will be very induſtrious, if you pleaſe to ſet me to work.

Enter Maudlin Huſwife her Mother, ſhe falls a beating her.

Maudlin

You idle ſlut, do you ſtand loytering here, when it is more than time the Cows were milk’d?

Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail.

Mall Mean-bred

Go milk them your ſelf with a murrain, ſince you are ſo light-finger’d.

Maudlin

I will milk your ſides firſt.

The Mother goeth to beat her again, Mall Mean- bred her daughter runs away from her mother, ſhe follows her, running to catch her.

Maſter Inqui

I marry Sir, this is right as a Farmers daughter ſhould be; but in my Conſcience the other Maid that was here before her is a baſtard, begot by ſome Gentleman.

Exeunt.

Scene . 14.

Enter Sir John Argument, and the Lady Converſation.

Lady Converſa

Let me tell you, Sir John Argument, Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved; and the truth is, none but one ſoul can love another.

Argum

But Juſtice, Madam, muſt be the rule of Love; wherefore thoſe ſouls which Love muſt give the bodies leave to joyn.

Converſat

O no, pure ſouls may converſe without groſs bodies.

Argument

Were it not for the Senſes, Madam, ſouls could have no acquaintance, and without acquaintance, there can be no reciprocal affection; and will you make the Senſes, which are the ſouls chief confidence, to be ſtrangers or enemies?

Converſat

I would have them converſe, but not interrupt.

Argum

The bodies muſt have mutual friendſhip and correſpondency with each other, or otherwiſe they may diſſemble, or betray the ſouls, or abuſe the truſt, looſe appetites or wandring ſenſes or contrary humours; and what can interrupt Love more than the diſagreement of bodies?

Converſat

The Senſes and Appetites of the Body, are but as ſubject to the Soul.

Argument

But ’tis impoſſible for Forein Princes, as I will compare two loving ſouls unto, can live in peace and mutual amity, if their ſubjects diſagree.

Lll Enter 225 Lll1v 226 Enter Miſtris Troubleſome.

Converſat

O Miſtris Troubleſome, you are welcome; for you ſhall end the diſpute between Sir John Argument and I.

Troubleſome

If you cannot decide the Diſpute your ſelves, I ſhall never do it. But what is the Diſpute Madam?

Converſat

Whether there can be a perfect friendſhip of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual converſation and conjunctions of Bodies?

Troubleſome

Faith, Madam, I think it would be a very faint friendſhip betwixt the Souls, without the Bodies.

Converſat

I perceive Sir John Argument and you would never make Platonick Lovers.

Troubleſome

Faith, Madam, I think Platonick is a word without ſenſe.

Argument

You ſay right, Miſtris Troubleſome, it is an inſenſible love.

Converſat

It is the Soul of Love.

Troubleſome

What’s that, Madam, a Ghoſt, or Spirit?

Converſat

Indeed it hath no material body.

Argument

No, for it is an incorporal thing.

Troubleſome

What is an incorporal thing, Sir John?

Argument

Why, nothing.

Troubleſome

Pray leave this diſcourſe, or elſe you will talk nonſenſe.

Argument

That’s uſual in Converſation.

Converſat

Setting aſide this diſcourſe at Miſtris Troubleſomes requeſt, Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth?

Troubleſome

Faith Madam, by the courſe of her life one might think ſhe were an incorporal thing.

Converſat

Why?

Troubleſome

Becauſe ſhe makes but little uſe of her Body, living always within her Minde.

Converſat

Then her Body ſtands but as a Cypher amongſt the Figures of her thoughts.

Troubleſome

Juſt ſo, by my Troth.

Converſat

Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation.

Troubleſome

If it be poſſible, I will; but the Lady Viſitant can do it better than I.

Converſat

I am reſolv’d I will viſit her.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtſhip

What, is your paſsion over?

Lady Ward

My paſsion will ſtrive to maintain my honour, and you may take my life; but as long as I live, my paſsion will fight in the quarrel. But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife? and what man of honour will be cruel to thoſe that are weak, helpleſſe, and ſhiftleſſe? and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meaneſt of our Sex? It is more noble to flatter us, than to quarrel with us, but 227 Lll2r 227 but that I have heard you are valiant, I ſhould think you were a baſe coward, and ſuch a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-houſe, rather than fight in a Battel: But I perceive you are one that loves Pleaſure more than Honour, and Life more than Fame; and I hate to be in that mans company, or to make a Husband, whoſe courage lies in Voluptuouſneſs, and his life in Infamy: I will ſooner marry Death, than ſuch a man.

The Lady Ward goes out. Lord Courtſhip alone.

Lord Courtſhip

Her words have ſhot through my ſoul, and have made a ſenſible wound therein. How wiſely ſhe did ſpeak! how beautiful appear’d! Her minde is full of honour, and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles; ſo young, ſo wiſe, ſo fair, ſo chaſte, and I to uſe her ſo baſely as I have done! O how I hate my ſelf for doing so unworthily!

Exit.

Scene 16.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.

Effemin. Lovely

The more ground is trodden on, the eaſier the path to walk in.

Poor Virtue

It ſeems ſo, that you viſit me ſo often.

Effem. Lovely

Why, thou art ſuch ſweet company, and behav’ſt thy ſelf ſo prettily, as I cannot chooſe but viſit thee.

Poor Virtue

I would, if I could, behave my ſelf ſo to the world, as my indiſcretion might not defame me.

Effem. Lovely

Why do you think of a Fame?

Poor Virtue

Why not? ſince fame many times ariſes from poor Cottages, as well as from great Palaces; witneſs the Country labouring-man, that was taken from the plough, and made an Emperour, as being thought fitteſt to rule, both for Juſtice and Wiſedome, and he was more famous than thoſe that were born of an Heroick Line, and were of Royal dignity; and David a shepherd, became a King. ’Tis Merit that deſerves a fame, not Birth; and ſometimes Merit hath its deſert, though but ſeldome.

Effem. Lovely

Thy diſcourſe would tempt any man.

Poor Virtue

Miſtake not my diſcouſe, it hath no ſuch deviliſh deſign; for to tempt, is to pervert: ’Tis true, my Nature takes delight to delight and pleaſe others, and not to croſſe or diſpleaſe any, yet not to tempt, or to deflawed-reproduction1 letteride with counterfeit demeanors, or fair inſinuating words, ſmooth ſpeech, or oiled tongue, to draw from Virtues ſide, but to perſwade and plead in Virtues cauſe.

Effem. Lovely

Thy very looks would gain a cauſe, before thy tongue could plead.

Poor Virtue

Alas! mans countenance is like the Sea, which ebbs and flows as paſsion moves the minde.

Effem. Lovely

I am ſure Love moves my minde, and makes it in a fiery heat.

Lll2 Poor 228 Lll2v 228

Poor Virtue

If it be noble Love, it is like the Sun, which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world, that elſe would ſit in darkneſſe, and be both cold and ſterile; ſo doth a noble minde run with induſtry to help thoſe in diſtreſſe, his bounty heats, his counſel and advice gives light.

Effem. Lovely

I love you ſo much, Sweet-heart, that ſince you will not be my Miſtris, you ſhall be my Wife.

Poor Virtue

Indeed I will not.

Effem. Lovely

Will you refuſe me?

Poor Virtue

Yes.

Effem. Lovely

Wherefore?

Poor Virtue

Becauſe I know, though you may uſe me well at firſt, after a time you’l be divorc’d.

Effem. Lovely

I will never part from thee.

Poor Virtue

O yes but you will, for youth and beauty moſt commonly are inconſtant; for vain ambition, and flattering praiſes, corrupt that mind that lives therein, and is pleaſed therewith.

Poor Vertue goes out. Effeminate Lovely alone.

Effem. Lovely

Well, I will become a new man, and caſt off all vanity and ſtudy Moral Philoſophy, to gain this Maid; for then perchance ſhe will love me.

Exit.

Scene 17.

Enter Lady Converſation, and Sir Vain Complement.

Lady Converſat

Complements are the worſt ſort of Converſation, for they are not ſociable; beſides, Truth holds no intelligence nor correſpondence with them.

Sir Vain Compl

Truth is no Complement as flattery, and I ſpeak nothing but what truth hath dictated to my tongue.

Lady Converſat

Thoſe praiſes you gave me were writ by ſpeech, in ſo fine a ſtyle of Eloquence, with ſuch flouriing Letters of words, as I cannot believe but that cuſtome of ſelf-conceited wit or paſſion, hath given the Scribe, which is the Tongue, a bribe to flatter me.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Miſtris Troubleſome, to the Lady Converſation ſation, and Sir Vain Commplement.

Lady Converſat

This is a wonder to ſee you, Lady Contemplation, abroad. I doubt it doth Prognoſticate ſome change of Fortune, pray Jove it be good.

Lady Contempl

All the ill will fall on me, Madam.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Nay, ſaith Madam, ſhe accounts company a worſe fortune than the ruine of a Kingdome, and you cannot conceive with what difficulty I have got her abroad; for at firſt I did perſwade her with all the Rheto- 229 Mmm1r 229 Rhetorick I had, and pleaded with as powerful arguments as I could finde, anyd promiſed more than I was able to perform, and nothing of this could get her forth, until I told her I would bring your Ladyſhip to viſit her, and that forced her out; for ſhe ſaid, ſhe would rather trouble you, than you ſhould trouble her.

Lady Converſat

Faith, Contemplation, thou art only fit to keep beaſts company; for what difference is there betwixt beaſts and men, but Converſation.

Lady Contempl

Indeed beaſts want that folly of idle Converſation, and the error of ſpeaking, as much as the vanity of dreſsing, and the cuſtome of diſſembling; for they ſpend their time more prudently, quietly, eaſily, honeſtly, ſo more happily; and if it were for no other reaſon than ſpeaking, I had rather be a beaſt, than of mankinde.

Lady Converſat

O fie, O fie, you are a beaſtly Lady.

Lady Contempl

No, Madam, beaſts have no falſe Titles of Honour, their honour lives in their natures, not in their names.

Lady Converſat

Who that may chooſe, or have their liberty, would ſpend their time in idle thoughts?

Lady Contempl

All that are wiſe, and would be happy; for ſhould not we think that man were mad, that leaves a peaceful habitation, and thruſts himſelf in forein broyls? or ſhould not we think a King were moſt unjuſt, that makes his peaceful and obedient ſubjects ſlaves to ſtrange Princes? The Mind’s a Common-wealth, and the Thoughts are the Citizens therein, and Reaſon rules as King, or ought to doe: But there is no reaſon we ſhould vex our Thoughts with outward things, or make them ſlaves unto the world.

Lady Converſat

But thoughts would want imployment, were it not for the world, and idleneſſe were worſe than ſlaviſh toyls.

Lady Contempl

The thoughts, without the worlds materials, can Create millions of worlds, only with the help of Imagination.

Lady Converſat

Then your Minde and the World are meer ſtrangers.

Lady Contempl

I ſay not ſo; for though the World draws not my Minde to wander up and down, yet my Minde draws the World to it, then penſils out each ſeveral part and piece, and hangs that Landskip in my Brain, on which my thoughts do view with Judgments eyes. Thus the world is in my Minde, although my Minde is not in the world.

Lady Converſat

Then you inchant the world?

Lady Contempl

I had rather inchant the world, than the world ſhould inchant me.

Lady Converſat

If the Minde be a Common-wealth, as you ſaid even now it was, Pray tell me of what degree the Paſsions are of?

Lady Contempl

They are the Nobles thereof, and Magiſtrates therein; each ſeveral Paſsion ſtill governs in its turn and office.

Lady Converſat

And what are the Appetites?

Lady Contemp

The Appetites are none of the Mind’s Citizens, but they are an unruly Rout that dwell in the Senſes, which are the Suburbs of the Body: Indeed the Appetites are the Out Lawries, and doe oft-times much hurt with their diſorders, inſomuch as they, many times, diſturb the mindes tranquillity, and peace. But, Madam, leſt the appetite of talking ſhould diſturb the Mind, I ſhall kiſs your Ladyſhips hand, and leave you to thoſe that are more delightful and pleaſanter company than I am.

Mmm Exit. 230 Mmm1v 230

Miſtris Trouble

Lady Converſation, I perceive you and Sir Vain Complement are grown dull with the Lady Contemplations company.

Lady Converſat

Mercury defend me from her; for I would not keep her company for Joves Manſion.

Vain Compl

And Cupid defend me from her; for I would not be bound to Court her for the Favours Venus gives to Mars.

Converſat

Lord what a dull piece of gravity ſhe is!

Vain Compl

She looks as if ſhe convers’d with none but Ghoſts and Spirits, walking in Moon-ſhine, and ſolitary and diſmal places.

Converſat

Let us talk of her no more; for I am ſo far from keeping her acquaintance, as I hate to hear her nam’d.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtſhip

My Sweet, Fair Maid, I cannot hope thy Pardon, for my crimes are not only great, but many; for I have not only us’d you unkindly, uncivilly, ungentlemanly, which are vices and crimes that Cankerfret the Fame of Honour, and burie all noble qualities; but I have uſed you barbarouſly, cruelly, and inhumanly, which are ſins ſufficient to annihilate all the Maſculine Race; and ſurely, if there be that we call Juſtice in Nature, it will, unleſs thy virtue redeem them, and ſave them with thy pity: wherefore, for the ſake of the generality, though not for my particular, pardon me. Thus will you become a Deity to your whole Sex and ours.

Lady Ward

I am ſure your Lordſhip is a particular puniſhment to me, which Heaven ſend me quit of.

She goes out, he follows her.

Act IV.

Scene. 19.

Enter Sir Fancy Poet, and the Lady Contemplation.

Sir Fan. Poet

Lady, you ſmother your thoughts, and ſtifle your conception in the cloſe Cloſet of Study.

Lady Contempl

No Sir, I only keep them warm, being tender and weak.

Sir Fan. Poet

They will grow ſtronger in the Air of Converſation; but when continually kept cloſe in the Chamber of Contemplation, they will be apt to fall into many ſeveral diſeaſes, as melancholy Opinions, and extravagant Fancies, which may over-heat the minde, and fire the thoughts: wherefore Lady let me give you Counſel.

Lady Contempl

What Counſel would you give me? as a Lawyer, or Physician?

Sir 231 Mmm2r 231

Sir Fan. Poet

As a Phyſician.

Lady Contempl

For the Body, or the Minde?

Sir Fan. Poet

For the Minde.

Lady Contempl

The Phyſicians for the Minde are Divines.

Sir Fan. Poet

No, the beſt phyſicians for the Minde are Poets.

Lady Contempl

How will you prove that?

Sir Fan. Poet

By Example and Skill; for when the Minde is raging mad, Poets, with gentle perſwaſions, in ſmooth numbers, and ſoft muſick, cure it; and when the Mind is deſpairing, Poets draw hopes into numbers, which beats out the doubtful Foe: And for Example.

David with his Poetical Inſpirations, and Harpſical harmonious Muſick, allay’d the ill Spirit, and raging paſſion of Saul; for Poets take from the ſweet Spring of Nature, an Oil of Love, and from Heaven, the Balſom of Mercy, and pour them through golden numbers, and pipes of wit, into the feſter’d wounds of deſpair; when oft-times Divines, in ſtead of ſuppling Oil, pour in corroding Vitriol, and in ſtead of healing Balſoms, pour in burning Sulphure, which are terrifying threats, and fearful menaces: wherefore Lady, let me adviſe you as a Poetical Phyſician, to keep your minde cool, and your thoughts in equal temper; wherefore in order thereto, when the minde is wrapt in the mantle of Imagination, if it finds it ſelf very hot therewith, let it lay that mantle by, and bathe it ſelf in the freſh, clear, pure Rivers of Diſcoure.

Lady Contempl

By your favour, Sir, for the moſt part, the Minde becomes hotter with the motion of the tongue, than the mantle of Imagination; for when the tongue hath liberty, it runs wildly about, and draggs the minde after it; and rather than I will have my minde dragg’d and hurried about by my unruly tongue, which will neither endure the bit of Reaſon, not the bridle of Diſcretion, but runs beyond all ſenſe, I will tye up my tongue with the cords of ſilence, in the ſtable of the mouth, and pull down the Port-cullis of the teeth before it, and ſhut the doors of my lips upon it. Thus ſhall it be treble lock’d, and kept with the Key of Judgment, and the Authority of Prudence.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter the Lady Converſation, and a Grave Matron.

Lady Converſat

Did you hear him ſay he had layn with me?

Matron

Yes, Madam.

Lady Converſat

O the wicked, baſe vain-glory of men, to bely the pure chaſtity of a woman! But ſurely he did not plainly expreſs ſo much in clear words, as by nods, winks, ſhrugs, dark ſentences, or broken diſcourſes?

Matron

He ſaid plainly, he had layn with you in an unlawful manner.

Lady Converſat

Fates aſsiſt me in revenge; for it is no diſhonour to be reveng’d of a baſe perſon, that hath maliciouſly ſlander’d me, or vain-gloriouſly injur’d me.

Matron

Revenge is againſt the Laws of Honour, Madam.

Lady Converſat

It may be againſt the Tenets of ſome particular Religion,Mmm2 gion, 232 Mmm2v 232 gion, or religious Opinions. But a noble revenge is the ground or foundation of Heriock Honour.

Matron

But what do you call a Noble Revenge?

Lady Converſat

Firſt, to be an open Enemy, as to declare the enmity; next, to declare their endeavour to proſecute to the utmoſt of their power, either their Enemies Eſtate, Liberty, and Life; whereas a baſe Revenger is to diſſemble, in profeſsing they have forgotten and forgiven their injury, and pardon’d their Enemy, yet under-hand and diſguiſedly endeavour to do their Enemy a great miſchief. Not but an honourable Revenger may chooſe their time for executing their revenge; but they muſt declare they will be revenged before they execute their revenge, and let their Enemies ſtand upon their Guard.

Matron

But a revengeful woman is not good.

Lady Converſat

Why not, as well as a revengeful man? For why may not a woman revenge her ſcandaliz’d honour as well as a man? Is there any reaſon why it ſhould be a diſhonour for a man to paſs by a diſgrace, and for a woman to revenge her diſgrace? Is it not as great a blemiſh to the honour of a woman, to be ſaid to be unchaſte, as for a man to be ſaid to be a Coward? And ſhall a woman only ſit and weep over her loſt honour, whileſt a man fights to regain his? And ſhall it be thought no diſhonour for a man to piſtol, or at leaſt baſtonade another man for an injury, or an affront receiv’d and a fault for a woman to do, or cauſe to be done the like? Muſt women only ſit down with fooliſh patience, and endure wrong, when men may execute revenge with fury? Theſe were both injuſtice, and an unjuſt act of Education to our Sex; as alſo it would be an unjuſt ſentence, not only from men, but from the Gods, ſince neither Gods nor men will ſuffer injury, wrong, or diſhonour, without revenge: But if Gods, Men, and Education ſhould be ſo unjuſt to our Sex, yet there is no Reaſon in Nature we ſhould be ſo unjuſt to our ſelves: But for my part, as I am conſtant to an honeſt friend, and can eaſily forgive an honourable Enemy, ſo I can never forgive a malicious Foe, nor forget a vain-glorious bragging fool, or falſe ſlandring knave, but will perſecute them to the utmoſt of my power, and the weight of my revenge ſhould be according to the preſſure of my injury, or diſhonour.

Matron

But let me tell you, Madam, thoſe that brag are ſeldome believ’d, and there is none that believe theſe vain bragging Ranters; for it’s well known, that all Ranters are idle deboyſt perſons, and do uſually belye the moſt Honourable and Chaſte Ladies, for which all worthy perſons hate them, and account them ſo baſe, as they will ſhun their companies; no man of honour will come near them, unleſs it be to beat them. But if you appear to the world as concerned, you may raiſe thoſe doubts which would never have been raiſed, had you took no notice thereof.

Lady Converſat

Indeed Diſputes raiſe doubts; wherefore I will not bring it into a Diſpute, but take your Counſel, and take no notice of it.

Matron

You will do wiſely, Lady.

Exeunt.
Scene 233 Nnn1r 233

Scene. 21.

Enter Sir Golden Riches to Poor Virtue.

Sir Gold. Rich

I wiſh my tongue as ſmooth as oil, to make my words as ſoft as Air, that they may ſpread about your heart, there intermixd with your affection.

Poor Virtue

Words cannot win my love, no more than wealth, nor is my heart ſubject to thoſe infections.

Sir Gold. Rich

I will build thee Palaces of burniſh’d gold, where thou ſhalt be worſhipd whileſt thou liveſt, and when thou dieſt, I will erect a Monument more famous than Mauſolus’s was.

Poor Verrtue

My Virtue ſhall build me a Monument far richer, and more laſting; for the materials with which it ſhall be built, ſhall be try’d Chaſtity, as pure Gold, and Innocency, as Marble white, and Conſtancy, as undiſſolving Diamonds, and Modeſty, as Rubies red, Love ſhall the Altar be, and Piety, as Incenſe ſweet, aſcend to Heaven, Truth, as the Oil, ſhall feed the Lamp of Memory, whereby the flame of Fame shall never goe out.

Exit. Sir Golden Riches alone.

Sir Gold. Rich

And is She gone? are Riches of no force? Then I wil bury my ſelf within the bowels of the Earth, ſo deep, that men shall never reach me, nor Light shall find me out.

Exit.

Scene 22.

Enter Miſtris Meſſenger, and the Lady Amorous’s woman, and Lord Courtſhip.

Miſtris Meſſenger

My Lord, My Lady, the Lady Amourous, remembers her Service to you, and ſent me to tell you her Husband is gone out of Town, and She deſires to have the happineſs of your company.

Lord Courtſhip

Pray preſent my Service in the humbleſt manner to your Lady, and pray her to excuſe me; for though I cannot ſay I am ſick, yet I am far from being well.

Miſtris Meſſen

I shall, my Lord.

Exeunt.
Nnn Scene 234 Nnn1v 234

Scene 23.

Enter the Lord Title, and then enters a Servant to him.

Servant

My Lord, there is an old man without deſires to ſpeak with you.

Lord Title

Direct him hither.

Servant goes out. Enter Old Humanity.

Lord Title

Old man, what have you to ſay to me?

Old Humanity

I am come to deſire your Lordship not to perſecute a poor young Maid, one that is friendleſs, and your Lordship is powerful, and therefore dangerous.

Lord Title

What poor Maid do you mean?

Old Human

A Maid call’d Poor Virtue.

Lord Title

Do you know her?

Old Human.

Yes.

Lord Title

Are you her Father?

Old Human

No, I am her ſervant, and have been maintain’d by her Noble Family theſe threeſcore years, and upwards.

Lord Title

Ha, her Noble Family! what, or who is She?

Old Humanity

She is a Lady, born from a Noble Stock, and hath been choiſely bred, but ruin’d by misfortunes, which makes her poorly ſerve.

Lord Title

Alas he weeps! Who were her Parents?

Old Human

The Lord Morality, and the Lady Piety.

Lord Title

Sure it cannot be: But why ſhould I doubt? her Beauty, Wit, and ſweet Demeanour, declares her Noble Pedigree: the Lord Morality was a Famous man, and was a great Commander, and wiſe in making Lawes, and prudent for the Common Good: He was a Staff and Prop unto the Common-wealth, til Civil Wars did throw it down, where he fell under it. But honeſt friend, how ſhall I know this for a truth?

Old Human

Did not your Lordſhip hear he had a Child?

Lord Title

Yes that I did, and only Daughter.

Old Human

This is She I mention, and if Times mend, will have her Fathers Eſtate, as being her Fathers Heir; but to prove it, and her Birth, I will bring all thoſe ſervants that liv’d with her, and with her Father, and all his Tenants, that will witneſs the truth.

Lord Title

When I conſider, and bring her and her Actions to my minde, I cannot doubt the truth, and for the news, thou ſhalt be my Adopted Father, and my Boſome-friend; I’ll be a ſtaff for thy Old Age to lean upon, my ſhoulders ſhall give ſtrength unto thy feeble limbs, and on my neck ſhalt lay thy reſtleſs head,.

Old Human

Heaven bleſs you, and I ſhall ſerve you as my Old Age will give me leave.

Exit Lord Title, leading him forth.
Scene 235 Nnn2r 235

Scene 24.

Enter Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtſ

Thou Celeſtial Creature, do not believe that I am ſo preſumptuous to ask thy love, I only beg thy pardon, that when my body lies in the ſilent grave, you give my reſtleſs ſoul a paſs, and leave to walk amongſt ſad Lovers in dark and gloomy ſhades; and though I cannot weep to ſhew my penitence, yet I can bleed.

He offers her a Dagger.

Here, take this Inſtrument of Death, for only by your hands I wiſh to die.

Give me as many Wounds as Pores in skin,

That I may bleed ſufficient for my ſin.

Lady Ward

It ſeems ſtrange to me, that you, a wiſe man, or at leaſt accounted ſo, ſhould fall into ſuch extreams, as one while to hate me to death, and now to profeſs to love me beyond life!

Lord Courtſ

My Debaucheries blinded my Judgment, nor did I know thy worth, or my own errour, until thy wiſe wit gave the light to my dark underſtanding, and you have drawn my bad life, and all my unworthy actions therein, ſo naturally in your diſcourſe, as now I view them, I do hate my ſelf as much as you have cauſe to hate me.

Lady Ward

I only hate your Crimes, but for thoſe excellent Qualities, and true Virtues that dwell in your Soul, I love and honour; and if you think me worthy to make me your Wife, and will love me according as my honeſt life will deſerve your affections, I ſhall be proud of the Honour, and thank Fortune or Heaven for the Gift.

Lord Courtſ

Sure you cannot love me, and the World would condemn you if you ſhould, and all your Sex will hate you.

Lady Ward

The World many times condemns even Juſtice her ſelf, and women for the moſt part, hate that they ſhould love and honour.

Lord Courtſ

But can you love me?

Lady Ward

I can, and do love you.

Lord Courtſ

How happy am I, to enjoy a world of Beauty, Wit, Virtue, and ſweet Graces.

Leads her forth. Exeunt.
Nnn2 Scene 236 Nnn2v 236

Scen.e 25.

Enter the Lord Title, and Roger Farmer, and Maudlin Huſwife his Wife. This Scene was written by the Lord Marquiſs of Newcaſtle.

Lord Title

Honeſt Roger and Maudlin, I preſent you with a kind Good-morrow.

Roger

Preſent me? Bleſs your Lordſhip, I ſhould preſent you with a couple of Capons.

Lord Title

’Tis a ſalutation when you ſalute; but how do you then?

Roger

Very well, I thank your Honour: How do you?

Lord Title

Well, enough of Complements, I am come with a Petition to you.

Roger

What is that, if’t pleaſe your Honour?

Lord Title

A Sute.

Roger

Byrlaken I have need of one, for I have but poor and bare cloathing on.

Lord Title

No, Roger, it is a requeſt and deſire I have you ſhould grant.

Roger

Grant, or to Farm let, no Sir, I will not part with my Lease.

Lord Title

Roger, you underſtand me not, therefore let me ſpeak with Maudlin your Wife.

Roger

There ſhe is Sir, ſpare her not, for ſhe is good metal I’ll warrant your Honour; wipe your lips Maudlin, and anſwer him every time that he moves thee, and give him as good as he brings: Maudlin, were he twenty Lords, hold up your head, Maudlin, be not hollow.

Maudlin

I’ll warrant you Husband, I’ll ſatisfie him.

Lord Title

Honeſt Maudlin.

Maudlin

That’s more than your Lordſhip knows.

Lord Title

Why then Maudlin.

Maudlin

That’s my name indeed.

Lord Title

You have a maid here in your houſe.

Maudlin

I hope ſo forſooth; but I will not anſwer for no Virgin in this wicked world.

Roger

Well ſaid Maudlin; Nay your Honour will get nothing of my Maudlin, I’ll warrant you.

Lord Title

Well, this ſuppoſed Maid is Poor Virtue, that’s her name, I deſire you will let her live with me, this Poor Virtue.

Maudlin

God bleſs your Honour from her, it is not fit for a Lord, and a great Noble-man to meddle with Virtue, your Honour ſhould not foul your fingers with her: Beſides, ſhe will never ſtay in a great mans houſe, neither is it fit ſhe ſhould; and your Honours ſervants will hate her like the Devil for she will pleaſe no body as she should do, a very peevish, ill-natur’d girl forſooth she is.

Lord Title

Why how doth she agree then with you?

Maudlin

Alas forſooth, if it pleaſe your Honour, Virtue may live in a Cottage, when she will be whipt out of a Court, or a great Lords Palace, they may talk of her, but they will never give her leave to live and board with them: It may be they give their Chaplain leave to talk of her a Sundays, or ſo forſooth, but talk’s but talk, for they forget her the ſix days after and 237 Ooo1r 237 and never mind her; for indeed she is a very peevish girle, and not fit for Gentlefolks company, that’s the truth of it, hardly for poor folks.

Lord Title

Why you agree well with her?

Maudlin

Nay by the faith of my body do I not; for I can hardly goe to Market, and be merry, as I uſe to be, and all long of her peeviſhneſſe: nay I cannot goe to order one of our buſie Thrashers, but she troubles me; or to ſpeak with the Carter, but she whips in preſently; or diſcourſe with the Plough-man about his plough-share, how he should order it for my advantage, but she troubles me; or about our Husbandman, how and where he should ſow his Seed, but she vexes me ſtill Such a life, the Gods help me, as I am e’en weary of my ſelf. Speak Roger, is it not true?

Roger

True Maudlin as ſteel, I never was merry ſince she was in my houſe; the May pole is down ſince she came.

Maudlin

I Roger that ’tis, the more the pity.

Roger

And the Towns Green is a Meadow, and the poor Bag-pipers cheeks are fallen into a Conſumption, hardly wind to ſpeak withall; the Morris-dancers bells are ſilenc’d, and their croſſe garters held ſuperſtitious, idolatrous, and profane; the May-Lord and his Lady depos’d, and the Hobby-horſe is forgotten; nay the Whitſon-Lord and Lady are baniſh’d, Merry Wakes aboliſh’d, and the poor Ale-wives beggar’d,.

Maudlin

I, I, and all ſince this melancholy girle Virtue came into our houſe.

She cries.

I cannot chooſe but cry.

Lord Title

Thou art true Maudlin then.

Maudlin

Yes, with ſmall beer, that’s the calamity of it; therefore bleſſe every good ſubject from ſo melancholy a thing as this girle Virtue is: But we have a Daughter, and it pleaſe your Honours worſhip, that will give you good content, and pleaſe moſt of your Houſhold; for ſhe is a luſty Wench, though I ſay’t that ſhould not ſay’t: Did you but ſee her ſwim like a Tench on our Town-green, incircling the May-pole, and at the end of a Horn-pipe, when ſhe is to be kiſs’d, how modeſtly ſhe wryes her head away, but ſo as to be civil; nay ſhe hath been well Educated, my own natural Daughter, for indeed Roger, I was with Child with her before you maried me.

Roger

Peace Maudlin, all Truths are not to be ſpoken of; for ſhould that be, many a Worshipful Perſon would be very angry; but our Vicar made all well betwixt thee and me, Maudlin: But I beſeech your Honour take my Daughter, for you will find her another manner of woman than Virtue is, for she is not like her ifaith, nor any thing that belongs to her, she is better bleſt than ſo.

Lord Title

No, I will have Poor Virtue, or none.

Roger

Faith if you have Virtue, you are ſure to have her poor, for I never knew any of her Family rich, the Gods do not bleſſe them, I think, in this world; but if you will have her, take her, ſhall he not, Maudlin?

Maudlin

Yes, Husband, and the houſe is well rid of her, and let us bleſs our ſelves for it; for now we shall be like our Neighbours again, we will not abate them an hair, the beſt in the parish shall not live merryer than we will now for all Sports: Why, Vanity and Sin, Husband, is the Liberty of the Subject, and the ſeven Deadly Sins are the Fundamental Laws of the Kingdome, from the greateſt to the leaſt, if poor folks might have their right. Well, your Honour shall have her, but you will be as weary of her as we have been, the Gods bleſs your Honour, but alas you do not know what this Ooo Girl 238 Ooo1v 238 Girle Virtue is, Lords have no gueſs at her.

Lord Title

Well Maudlin, let me have her, I deſire no more.

Maudlin

Nor we neither, if it pleaſes your Honour, and ſo the Gods give you good of her.

Roger

Let me ſpeak to his Honour, Maudlin.

Lord Title

Do ſo Roger.

Roger

I give yourdship Lor many thanks.

Lord Title

For what?

Roger

For ridding our houſe of this troubleſome Girl.

Lord Title ,

And I thank you for it too.

Roger

When thanks on all ſides happen, we are eas’d.

Lord Title

And I with your Poor Virtue am well pleas’d.
The Lord goes out. As they were going forth, Maudlin ſpeaks.

Maudlin

Mark the end of it, Roger.

Roger

Yes Maudlin, the End Crowns the Work.

Exeunt. Here ends my Lord Marquiſs’s Scene.

Act IV.

Scene. 26.

Enter the Lady Viſitant to the Lady Contemplation, who was muſing to her ſelf.

Lady Viſit

What always muſing? Shall I never find thee in a ſociable humour?

Lady Contempl

I would you had come ſooner, or ſtay’d longer away.

Lady Viſit

Why prethee?

Lady Contempl

I will tell you: A while ſince, there came the Muſes to viſit me, being all either mad, or drunk, for they toſs’d and tumbl’d me, and rumbl’d me about, from one to the other, as I thought they would a divided me amongſt them: At laſt came in the Sciences to viſit me, with ſober Faces, grave Countenances, ſtayd and formal Behaviours, and after they had Saluted me, they began to talk very ſeriouſly to me, their Diſcourſe being Rational, Probable, Wiſe, Learned, and Experienc’d; but all the while the Muſes would not let me alone, one pull’d me to Dance, another to Sing, another to play on Muſick, others to recite Verſes, ſpeak Speeches, and Act parts of Plays, and the like: Whereupon I gravely turned the incorporal head of my rational Soul, nodding it to them to be quiet, and let me alone, but ſtill they playd with me: At laſt my Thoughts, which are the language of the Soul, ſpoke to them, and pray’d them to forbear, until ſuch time as the Sciences were gone; but they would not be quiet, nor ſilent, doe what 239 Ooo2r 239 what I could, but would interrupt the Sciences in the midst of their Diſcourſe, with their idle Rimes, light Fancies, and odd Numbers, inſomuch as the Sciences departed: Whereupon the Muſes did rejoyce, and skip, and run about, as if they had been wilde: And in this jocund humour, in came the Arts, even a whole Common-wealth; for there were not only Politick Arts, Civil and Combining Arts, Profitable and neceſſary Arts, Military Arts, and Ceremonious Arts; but there were Superſtitious Arts, Idolatrous Arts, falſe, factious, and miſchievous Arts, deſtructive and wicked Arts, baſe and mean Arts, fooliſh, childiſh, vain, ſuperfluous and unprofitable Arts: Upon all theſe Arts the Muſes made good ſport; for at ſome they flung jeſts, ſcorns, and ſcoffs, and ſome they ſtripp’d naked, but to others they were cruel, for ſome they flayd their skins off, and others they made very Skeletons of, diſſecting them to the very bones; and the truth is, they ſpared not the beſt of them, but they had one ſaying or other to them: But when all the Arts departed, they took me, and carry’d to the Well of Helicon, and there they threw me in over head and eares, and ſaid they would Souſe me in the Liquor of Poetry; but when I was in the Well, I thought verily I ſhould have been drown’d, for all my outward Senſes were ſmother’d and choak’d, for the water did blind my eyes, ſtop’d my ears and noſtrils, and fill’d my mouth ſo full, as I had not ſo much ſpace as to ſpout it forth; beſides all my body was ſo numb, as I had no feeling, inſomuch, as when they took me out of this Well of Helicon, into which they had flung me, I ſeem’d as dead, being quite ſenſeleſs: Whereupon they all agreed to take and carry me up on Parnaſſus Hill, and to lay me on the top thereof, that the Poetical Flame, or Heat therein, might dry and warm me; after which agreement they took me up, every one bearing a part of me, or was induſtrious about me, for ſome carried my Head, others my Legs, ſome held my Hands, others imbraced my Waſte, another oiled my Tongue, and others powr’d Spirits into my Mouth, but the worſt-natur’d Muſe pinch’d me, to try if I was ſenſible, or not, and the ſweeteſt and tendereſt-natur’d Muſe wept over me, and another was ſo kind as to kiſs me; but when they had brought me up to the top of the Hill, and laid me thereupon, I felt ſuch a heat, as if they had laid me on Ætna; but after I had layn ſome time, I felt it not ſo hot, and ſo leſs and leſs, until I felt it like as my natural heat; juſt like thoſe that goe into a hot Bathe, at firſt crie out it is inſufferable and ſcalding hot, yet with a little uſe will finde it cool enough: But whileſt I lay on Parnaſſus Hill, I began to make a Lyrick Verſe, as thus.

Bright, Sparkling hot Poetick fire,

My duller Muſe Inſpire

Unto thy Sweeter Lyre:

My Fancies like as Notes all ſit

To play a Tune of Wit

On well-ſtrung Numbers ſit.

But your unfortunate Viſit hath pull’d me ſo haſtily down from the Hill, that the force of the ſpeed hath crack’d my Imaginary Fiddle, broke the Strings of my Wit, blotted the Notes of Numbers, ſo ſpoil’d my Song.

Lady Visit

Prethee, there is none that would have taken the pains to have ſung thy Song, unleſſe ſome blind Fidler in an Alehouſe, and then not any one would have liſten’d unto it, for the fume of the drink would ſtop the Ooo2 ſenſe 240 Ooo2v 240 ſenſe of their ears: Beſides, Drunkards love not, nor delight in nothing but beaſtly Nonſenſe; but howſoever I had done thee a friendly part, to fetch thee down from off that monſtrous high Hill, whereby the vaſtneſſe of the height might have made you ſo dizzy, as you might have fallen there-from on the ſharp ſtones of Spite, or at leaſt, on the hard ground of Cenſure, which might have bruiſed, if not wounded the Reputation of thy Wit.

Lady Contempl

Let me tell you, you had done me a Courteſie to have let me remain’d there ſome time; for if you had let me alone, I might there have improv’d the Stature of my Wit, perfected the Health of my Judgment, and had nouriſhed the Life of my Muſe.

Exeunt.

Scene 27

Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue, Cloathed like her Self.

Lord Title

Still I fear my fault is beyond a pacification, yet the Gods are pacified with ſubmiſſive Actions, as bended knees, repentant tears, imploring words, ſorrowful Sighs, and dejected Countenances, all which I gave to thee.

Lady Virtue

Though there is always in my minde an obedient reſpect to Merit, yet a ſcorn is a ſufficient cauſe to make a rebelling of thoughts, words, and actions; for though I am poor, yet I am virtuous, and Virtue is to be preferr’d before Wealth or Birth, were I meanly born. But howſoever, true Love, like a great and powerful Monarch, ſoon diſperſes thoſe rebellious paſſions, and quiets thoſe factious thoughts, and all murmuring ſpeeches, or words, are put to ſilence, baniſhing all frowning Countenances, returning humble looks into the eyes again.

Lord Title

Then you have pardon’d me.

Lady Vertue

Yes.

Lord Title

And do you love me?

Lady Virtue

As Saints do Heaven.

Lord Title kiſſes Lady Virtues hands.

Lord Title

Your Favours have rais’d my ſpirits from the grave of Melancholy, and your pure Love hath given me a new Life.

Lady Virtue

So truly I love you, as nothing but death can deſtroy it; nay, I am of that belief, that were I dead, and turned to aſhes, my duſt, like firm and laſting ſteel, would fly unto you, as to the Loadſtone, if you were at ſuch diſtance as nothing might oppoſe.

Lord Title

Thus Souls, as well as Bodies, love.

Exeunt.
Scene 241 Ppp1r 241

Scene 28.

Enter the Lord Courtſhip, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous

Since I cannot have the happineſſe of your Lordſhips company at my Houſe, I am come to wait upon you at your Houſe.

Lord Courtſ

Your Ladyſhip doth me too great an honour.

Lady Amorous

Your Lordſhip is grown very Courtly. Pray how comes our familiar friendſhip ſo eſtranged, and ſet at diſtance with Complements?

Lord Courtſ

Madam, my wilde manners have been ſo rude to your Fair Sex, as I am become a ſcorn and ſhame unto my ſelf.

Lady Amorous

I hate Civility and Manners in a man, it makes him appear ſneakingly, poorly, and effeminate, and not a Cavalier: Bold and free Actions become your Sex.

Lord Courtſ

It doth ſo in a Camp amongſt rude and rough Souldiers, whoſe Breeding never knew Civility, nor will obey gentle Commands, ſubmitting only to rigorous Authority: But to the fair, tender, effeminate Sex, men ſhould offer their ſervice by their admiring Looks, civil Diſcourſes, and humble Actions, bowing as to a Deity; and when they are pleaſed to favour their ſervants, thoſe Favours to be accounted beyond the Gifts of Jove.

Lady Amorous

Have I Cuckolded my Husband, diſhonoured my Family, defamed my ſelf for your ſake, and am I thus rewarded and thrown aſide with civil Complements? O baſeſt of men!

Lord Courtſ

I am ſorry I have wronged your Husband, but more ſorry I have diſhonour’d you, and what ſatisfaction a true repentance can make, I offer upon the Altar of a Reformed Life.

Lady Amor

Do you repent? O falſe man! May you be curſed of all your Sex, and die the death of Orpheus.

Lady Amorous goes out. Lord Courtſhip alone.

Lord Courtſ

It is beyond the power of Jove to pleaſe the various humours of Woman-kind.

Exit.

Scene 29.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1Gentleman

There was never ſo many Noble Perſons Married in one day, in one City, I think, before thoſe that are to Marry to morrow.

Gentlem

Who are they?

1 Gentelm

Why, do you not hear?

Ppp 2 Gentl. 242 Ppp1v 240242

2 Genntlem

No.

1 Gentelm

Surely you have been either dead or deaf.

2 Gentlem

I have been in the Country.

1 Gentelm

That is ſome reaſon indeed; but the Newes of the City uſed to travel in Letters on Poſt-horſes into the Country.

2 Gentlem

No faith, for the moſt part they come in ſlow Waggons; but tell me who thoſe are that are to be Maried to morrow?

1 Gentelm

Why firſt there is the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue. Secondly, the Lord Courtſhip and the LadyWard. Thirdly, there is Sir Fancy Poet and the Lady Contemplation. Fourthly, the Lady Converſation and Sir Experienc’d Traveller. And fifthly, the Lady Viſitant and Sir Humphry Interruption terruption.

2 Gentlem

I will do my endeavour to ſee them all; for I will go to each Bridal Houſe.

1 Gentelm

How will you do ſo, being all maried on a day?

2 Gentlem

Why I will bid Good-morrow to the one, and I will goe to Church with another, and dine with the third, and dance the afternoon with the fourth, and ſee the fifth a bed.

1 Gentelm

That you may do.

Exeunt.

Scene 30.

Enter Miſtris Troubleſome, and her Maid.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Lord there are ſo many Weddings to be to morrow as I know not which to go to! Beſides, I ſhall diſpleaſe thoſe I go not to, being invited to them all.

Maid

If you would diſpleaſe neither of them, you muſt feign your ſelf ſick, and go to none of them.

Miſtris Troubleſ

None of them, ſay you? that would be a cauſe to make me die; for I would not but be a gueſt to one of them for any thing could be given me: But I am reſolved to go to the Lady Converſation and Sir Experienc’d Travellers Wedding, for there there will be the moſt company, and it is company that I love better than the Wedding-cheer; for much company is a Feaſt to me.

Maid

Truly Miſtris, I wonder you ſhould delight in company, you beiing in years.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Out you naughty Wench, do you ſay I am old?

Maid

No indeed, I did not name old.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Then let me tell you, that thoſe women that are in years ſeek company to divulge their Wit, as youth to divulge their Beauty; and we Aged Wits may chance to catch a Lover from a young Beauty: But I ſhould applaud my own wit, if it could contrive to bring each Bride and Bridegroom into one Aſſembly, making Hymen’s Monarchy a Republick where all ſhould be in common.

Maid

So Miſtriſs you would prove a Traytor to Hymen, which is a Bawd.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Faith I will turn you away for your boldneſs.

Enter 243 Ppp2r 241243 Enter Miſtris Goſſip.

O Miſtris Goſſip you are welcome, what Newes!

Miſtris Goſſip

I am come to tell you, that the five Bridals meet with their Gueſts and good Cheer at the City-Hall, and make their ſeveral Companies Joyning as one, as one Body, and there will be ſuch Revelling, as the like was never before.

Miſtris Troubleſ

Juno be thanked, and Venus be praiſed for it; for I was much perplex’d concerning their Diviſions, till you came and brought me this good Newes of their Corporation.

Exeunt.

Scene 31.

Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue as his Bride, both of them richly attired, and Old Humanity following them.

Lord Title

Come Old Humanity, and be our Father, to joyn and give us in the Church; and then when we are Maried, we will live a Country- life, I as a Shepherd, and this Lady as my Fair Shepherdeſs.

Exeunt.

Scene 32.

Enter the Lady Ward as a Bride, and her Nurſe Nurſe Careful.

Nurſe Careful

My dear Child, you appear as a ſweet budding Roſe this morning.

Lady Ward

Roſes are beſet with thorns, Nurſe, I hope I am not ſo.

Nurſe Caref

By’r Lady your Husband may prove a thorn, if he be not a good man, and a kind Husband; but Oh my heart doth ake.

Lady Ward

Wherefore doth it ake?

Enter Lord Courtſhip as a Bridegroom.

Lord Courtſ

Come Sweet, are you ready? for it is time to go to Church, it is almoſt twelve a clock.

Lady Ward

I am ready, but my Nurſe doth affright me, by telling me her heart doth ake, as if ſhe did fore-know by her experienc’d age ſome ill fortune towards me, or that I ſhall be unhappy in my mariage.

Lord Courtſ

Her heart doth not ake for you, but for her ſelf, becauſe ſhe cannot be a young fair bride, as you are, as being paſt her youth; ſo that her heart doth ake out of a ſad remembrance of her ſelf, not for a preſent, or a future cauſe for you.

Nurſe Caref

Well, well, I was young indeed, and a comely bride when I was maried, though I ſay it, and had a loving bridegroom, Heaven reſt his ſoul.

Ppp2 Exeunt.
244 Ppp2v 244

Scene 33.

Enter the Lady Viſitant as a Bride, to the Lady Contemplationanother Bride.

Lady Viſit

Come, I have brought all my bridal gueſts hither to joyn with yours, for we will go to Church together: Wherefore prethee come away, our Bridegrooms and our Gueſts ſtay for you.

Lady Contempl

I will go to them by and by.

Lady Viſit

Why, I hope you do not ſtay and muſe upon Phantaſmes, faith Mariage will baniſh them out of your head, you muſt now imploy your time with Realities.

Lady Contempl

If I thought Mariage would deſtroy or diſturb my Contemplations, I would not marry, although my Wedding-gueſts were come, and My Wedding-dinner ready dreſt, and my Wedding cloaths on; nay, were I at the holy Altar, I would return back.

Lady Viſit

That would be ſuch an action, as all the Kingdome would ſay you were mad.

Lady Contem

I had rather all the World ſhould not only ſay I were mad, but think me ſo, rather than my ſelf to be unhappy.

Lady Viſit

Can want of Contemplation make you unhappy?

Lady Contem

Yes, as unhappy as a body can be without a ſoul; for Contemplation is the life of the ſoul, and who can be happy that hath a dead ſoul?

Lady Viſit

By my troth I had rather be dead, than have ſuch a dull life.

Enter Maid.

Maid

Madam, the Bridegroom is coming hither.

Lady Contempl

I will prevent him, and meet him.

Exeunt.

Scene 34.

Enter the two Gentlemen.

1 Gentlem

Come away, come away, they’l be all married before we ſhall get to Church.

2 Gentlem

There will be enough Witneſſes, we may well be ſpared; but ſo I ſhare of the Feaſt, I care not whether they be married or not.

1 Gentle

The truth is, the benefit to us will be only in eating of their meat, and drinking of their wine.

2 Gentlem

And I mean to be drunk, but not for joy of their Mariages, but for pleaſure of my Guſto.

Exeunt.
Scene 245 Qqq1r 245

Scene 35.

Enter the five Couples, and all the Bridal Gueſts: The Bridegrooms and the Brides dance, and the while the Bridal Torches are held in their hands: Then a Poet ſpeaks thus to them.

Speaker

What Lines of Light doe from thoſe Torches ſpin

Which winds about thoſe Ladies whiter skin?

But from their Eyes more Splend’rous Beams doe run,

As bright as thoſe that iſſue from the Sun.

Wherein the leſſer Lights wax dull and dim,

Or like as Minnes in an Ocean ſwim.

Enter Mall Mean-bred. The Lord Marquiſs writ this Scene.

Mall Mean-bred

By your good leave Gentlefolks, I am come here to complain of this Hog-grubber Sir Golden Riches, who did tempt me with Gold till he had his deſire, you know all what it is, and I like an honeſt woman, as it were, kept my word, and performed truly as any woman could do: Speak, canſt thou detect me either in word or deed? and like a falſe and covetous wretch as thou art, performed nothing with me as thou ſhouldſt have done, I am ſure of that: Is’t not a truth? ſpeak covetous wretch, ſpeak.

Sir Gold. Rich

Why, what did I promiſe you?

Mall Mean-bred

Why thou didſt promiſe me an hundred pounds in gold, ſhew’d it me, and then took it away again; nay further, thou ſaidſt I ſhould be a Lady, and have a great parimanus Coach gilt, with neighing Horſes, and a Coachman, with a Poſtilion to ride afore: Nay, nay, I remember well enough what you ſaid, you talkd of Geſemond, Pomatum, and Roman Gunpowder for my hair, and fine gowns and ſtockings, and fine lac’d ſilk garters, and roſes ſhining like Stars, God bleſs us!

Sir Gold. Rich

Did I, did I?

Mall Mean-bred

Yes, that you did; you know what you did, and how you did, and ſo do I; and Gentlefolks, as I am a true woman, which he knows I am, I never had more than this white fuſtion waſtecoat, and three pence to buy me three pennyworth of pins, for he would allow me no incle to tie it withall, and this old ſtamel peticoat, that was his great Grandmothers in Eighty eight, I am no two-legg’d creature elſe.

Sir Gold. Rich

But I bought you velvet to gard it withall.

Mall Mean-bred

Yes, that’s true, an old black velvet Jerkin without ſleeves, that had belonged to one of Queen Elizabeth her learned Counſel in the Law of bleſſed Memory, primo of Her Reign, and you bought it of an old Broker at Nottingham; and as I am a true Chriſtian woman, if our Neighbour Botcher could almoſt ſew it on, it was ſo mortified.

Sir Gold. Rich

I bought you ſhooes, and ribbons to tie them withall.

She ſhewes her ſhooes.

Mall Mean-bred

Look Gentlefolks, a pair of wet-leather ſhooes, that have given me a Cold, and two leather points that he calls ribbons, like a lying falſe man.

Qqq Sir 246 Qqq1v 246

Sir Gold. Rich

I am ſure I bought you ſtockins and garters.

Mall Mean-bred

Old Doncaſter-ſtockins, that I was fain to waſh my ſelf with a little borrow’d ſope, and they were footed with yellow fuſtion too, and the garters he talks of were liſts of cloth, which a Taylor gave me for my New-years-gift, and I cannot chuſe but grieve to ſee his unkindneſſe; I gave you ſatisfaction often, but you never ſatisfied me, I will take it upon my death.

Sir Gold. Rich

Go Gill Flirt, pack away hence.

Mall Mean-bred

Nay that puts me in mind of the Pedlars pack you promis’d me, and I never had ſo much bought as that I might whiſſle for them; but I will follow thee to Hell, but I will have ſomething more out of thee than I have had, or elſe I will make all the Town ring of me.

Enter two Beadles.

Sir Gold. Rich

Here Beadles, take her to the Correction-houſe, Bridewell, and let her be puniſhed.

Mall Mean-bred

Is it ſo, thou miſcreant? well, I thought to be thy Bride, and not Bridewell, I never thought it in my conſcience.

Here ends my Lords writing.

Lord Title

Pray ſtay.

Enter Thom. Purveyor. The Lord Title whiſpers to Thom. Purveyor, then turns to Mall Mean-bred.

Lord Title

Mall, although you deceived me, and broke your promiſe, yet I will not only ſave you from the puniſhment you were to ſuffer at the Correction-houſe, but I will give thee a Husband here, luſty Thom. Purveyor, to whom, for taking thee to Wife, I will give him a leaſe of fifty pounds a year. Here, Tom, take her and go marry her.

Mall Mean-bred

Heaven bleſs your Honour.

Tom

Come Mall, let us go Wed, for fifty pounds a year is better than thy Maiden-head.

Exeunt.

Finis.