Zz1r 181

The first Part of the Lady Contemplation.

The Actors Names.

Lord Title.

Lord Courtship.

Sir Experience Traveller.

Sir Fancy Poet.

Sir Golden Riches.

Sir Effeminate Lovely.

Sir Vain Complement.

Sir Humphrey Interruption.

Mr. Adviser.

Doctor Practise, and other Gentlemen.

Tom Purveyer.

Roger Farmer.

Old Humanity.

Servants, and others.

The Lady Contemplation.

INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that cb is unmatched.

The Lady Conversation.

The Lady Visitant.

The Lady Ward.

The Lady Virtue.

the Lady Amorous.

Mrs. Troublesome.

Mrs. Governesse, the Lady Virtues
Attendant
.

Nurse Careful, Nurse to Lady
Ward
.

Maudling Huswife, Roger Farmers
wife
.

Mall Mean-bred, the daughter.

Nan Scrape-all, Maid to the Lady
Virtue
.

Zz Act Zz1v 182

The first Part of the Lady Contemplation.

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Visitant.

Visitant

What Lady Contemplation, mu sing by your self alone?

Contemplation

Lady Visitant, I would you had been ten miles
off, rather than to have broken my Contemplation.

Visitant

Why, are you so godly, to be so serious at your Devotion?

Contemplation

No faith, they were Contemplations that pleas’d me better
than Devotion could have done; for those that contemplate of Heaven,
must have death in their mind.

Visitant

O no, for there is no Death in Heaven to disturb the joyes
thereof.

Contemplation

But we must dye before we come to receive those joyes; and the
terrifying thoughts of Death, take away the pleasing thoughts of Heaven.

Visitant

Prethee let me know those pleasing thoughts.

Contemplation

I did imagine my self such a Beauty, as Nature never made
the like, both for Person, Favour, and Colour, and a Wit answerable to my
Beauty, and my Breeding and Behaviour answerable to both, my Wisdome
excelling all: And if I were not thus as I say, yet that every one should think
I were so; for opinion creates more, and perfecter Beauties, than Nature
doth. And then that a great Powerful Monarch, such a one as Alexander, or
sar, fell desperately in love with me, seeing but my Picture, which was
sent all about the world; yet my Picture (I did imagine) was to my disadvantage,
not flattering me any wayes; yet this Prince to be inamoured with
this shadow for the substance sake: Then Love perswaded him to send me
his Picture, which represented him to the life, being extreamly handsome,
yet had a manly and wise countenance. This Picture being brought be Embassadours,
which Embassadours when they came, treated with me about
marriage with this sole Emperor, all other Kings and Princes being but Tributaries;
receiving these Embassadours with great civility and respect, yet
behaving my self with a reserved and Majestical behaviour, which the Embassadours
observing, said, I was the only Lady that was fit to be the only
Emperours wife, both for my Beauty, Carriage, and Wit: When after a
modest Fear, and seeming Humility, I had reason’d against the marriage, at
last by their perswasion I consented; then was there Post after Post, and Messenger
after Messenger, sent with letters from the Emperour to me, and from
me to the Emperour; he admiring my letters, for the elegancy of the stile,
and eloquency of the wit, and admiring my Picture for the beauty; one while read- Zz2r 183
reading my letters, and another while viewing my Picture, made him impatient
for my Company, which made him send to his Embassadours, that with
all speed they should bring me away, sending to all the Princes whose Kingdomes
I was to passe thorow, that they should guard me with Armyes, but
not retard me with Olimpias, or the like, but to convey me safe and speedily:
Whereupon I took my Journey (most of the Kingdome where I was born
petitioning to wait on me); but by reason I could not take them all, unlesse
I should depopulate the Kingdome, I would carry none, lest I should displease
those that were to be left behind; but as I went out of the City where I
dwelt, all the streets were strewed with dead Lovers, which had lived only
on hopes, so long as I lived amongst them: But when they knew for certain
I was to depart, their hopes vanished, and they dyed with despair. The Embassadours
seeing such a Mortality, caused the Army that was my guard to
march apace, and my Coaches to trundle away, thinking it was the Plague;
but at last, after my Beauty had killed millions in the Kingdomes I passed
thorow, I arrived at that part of the world where the Emperour was, who
was a joyed man to hear of my coming, and had made great preparations against
my arrival; but some few dayes before my arrival, he sent a Chariot
which was made of the thinnest plated gold, because it should be light in
the Carriage, but the body of the Chariot was enameled and set with precious
stones, the Horses trappings were only great Chains of pearls, but the
horses reigns were Chains of gold, that might be strong enough to check their
hot Spirits, and swift speed; as for my self, I was only cloathed in white Satin,
and a Crown of Diamonds on my head, like a Bride, for I was to be
marryed as soon as I met the Emperour; but as I past along, all the Highwayes
were beset with Crouds of people, which thronged to see me, and
when they saw me, they cryed out I was an Angel sent from the Gods; but
your coming spoyl’d the Triumph, and brake the Marriage.

Visitant

No, no it is retarded for a time, the next musing Contemplation
the marriage Nuptial will be.

Contemplation

If you had not come and hinder’d me, I should have gover’nd
all the world before I had left off Contemplating.

Visitant

But if you make such hast to be at the Government of the whole
world, you would want a Theam for your thoughts to work upon, for you can
aim at no more than all the world.

Contemplation

O yes, rather than fail I would make new worlds, but this
wil last me a long time in shewing you what wise Laws I make, what upright
Justice I give, ordering so, as the whole world should be as one united Family;
and when I had shewed my wisdome in Peace, then my thoughts should
have raised Warres, wherein I would have shewed my valour and conduct.

Visitant

Prethee be not so imprudent to cast away precious time, and to
bury thy life in fantasms.

Contemplation

Why prethee, they manage time best, that please life most;
For it were better not to be, than to be displeased; for there is none that truly
lives, but those that live in pleasure, & the greatest pleasure is in the imagination
not in fruition; for it is more pleasure for any person to imagin themselvs
Emperour of the whole world, than to be so; for in imagination they reign &
Rule, without the troublesome and weighty cares belonging thereto; neither
have they those fears of being betrayed or usurped as real Emperours have; Zz2 Be- Zz2v 184
Besides, the whole general Race of Man kind, may this way be the particular
Emperour of the whole World, if ithey will; but those that desire to be
Emperours any other wayes, have but sick judgements, for the mind is all, for
if that be pleased, man is happy.

Visitant

Well, well, I had rather have the Material world, than you Airy
Fictions.――But confess really to me, if you should not think your self accurst
if you were to have no other Lovers, but what your Fancy creates.

Contemplation

No truely, for I finding none so exact as my Fancy creates,
makes all men appear worse than they are: For imagination doth like Painters,
which takes all the gracefullest lines, and exactest Features from two or
three good faces, and draws them into one : this is the reason that there may
be handsomer Pictures drawn, than any Creature born; because, Nature distributes
and divides her Favours, as to the generality, when Painter contract
them into particulars; for there was never any, unlesse born as a
wonder, that hath no exceptions; besides, my Lovers which my Fancy creates,
never make me jealouse, nor never disturb me; come to me, and goe
from me; speak or are silent as I will have them, and they are behaved, qualified,
and adorned to my humour, also of what Birth, Age, Complexion, or
Stature I like best; thus their persons and souls are created in my brain, live
in my Contemplation, and are dead and buryed in my forgetfulnesse, but have
a Resurrection in my remembrance,.

Visitant

Prethee do not lose the pleasure of the World, for the sake of
dull Contemplation.

Contemplation

Why, the greatest pleasures that can be in Fruition, I take
in Imagination: for whatsoever the sence enjoyes from outward objects, they
may enjoy in inward thoughts. For the mind takes as much Pleasure in creating
of Fancies, as Nature to create and dissolve, and create Creatures anew:
For Fancy is the Minds creature, & imaginations are as several worlds, wherein
those Creatures are bred and born, live and dye; thus the mind is like
infinite Nature.

Visit.

Prethee leave thy infinite folly.

Contem

It is my infinite delight.

Ex.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lady Poor Virtue weeping, and her
Governesse.

Governess

Madam, why do you weep, and grieve your self almost to
death?

Poor Virtue

Have I not reason? my Father being kill’d, and I left friendlesse
all alone, my Mother dying as soon as I was born.

Governesse

There is no reason you should grieve for your Father, since he
dyed in the defence of his King and Country.

Virtue

’Tis true, and I glory in his valianrt loyal Actions, yet I cannot
choose but mourn for the losse of his life, and weepe upon his
death.

Gover- Aaa1r 185

Governess

Methinks the greatest cause you have to weep, is, for the
loss of your Estate, which the Enemy hath siezed on, and you left only to
live on Charity.

Poor Virtue

I cannot mourn for any thing that is in Fortunes power to
take away.

Governess

Why? Fortune hath power on all things in the World.

Poor Virtue

O no, she hath power on nothing but base dross, and outward
forms, things moveable; but she hath neither power on honest hearts, nor
noble Souls; for ’tis the Gods infuse grace, and virtue; nor hath she power
or Reason, or Understanding, for Nature creates, and disposes those; nor doth
she govern Wisdome, for Wisdome governs her; nor hath she power on
Life and Death, they are decreed by Heaven.

Governess

And will you weep at Heavens decree?

Poor Virtue

The Heavens decrees hinder not humanity, nor natural affection.

Governess

Well, ever since your Mother dyed, I have governed your Fathers
House, and pleased him well; but since he is kill’d, and that there is
nothing for me to govern, I will take my leave of you and seek another place;
and I hope fortune will favour me so as to direct me to some Widower, or
old Batchelour, which desires a comely huswifly woman to order their private
affairs.

Poor Virtue

I wish you all happiness, and if I were in a condition, I would
make you a present.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1. Gentleman

Sir, My Lord is so busy since his Fathers Death, with
Stewards, Atturnies, and such like, about ordering his Estate, as I
am loath to disturb him; but as soon as he hath done speaking to them, I will
wait upon you to my Lord.

2. Gentleman

Sir, I shall wait my Lords leasure.

Enter the Lady Ward and Nurse Careful,
they pass over the Stage.

2. Gent

Sir, what pretty young Lady is that which passes by?

1. Gent

She is a great Heiress, and was Ward to my old Lord, and he
upon his Death-bed charged his Son my young Lord to marry her.

2. Gent

Surely small perswasions might serve turn; for her Virtue is
Rhetorick enough to perswade, nay to force affection.

1. Gent

Yet my Lord is discontented, he would rather choose for himself,
than that his Father should have chosen for him; for it is the Nature of
Mankind to reject that which is offered, though never so good; and to prize
that they cannot get, although not worth the having.

2. Gent

Of what Quality, of Birth, and Nature, and disposition is she of?

1. Gent

She is Honourably Born, and seems to be of a sweet disposition;
out of a Melancholy Nature.

Aaa Enter Aaa1v 186 Enter a Servant.

Servant

Sir, my Lord desires the Gentleman would be pleased to
walk in.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Humphrey
Interruption
.

Interruption

Lady, what makes you so silently sad?

Contemplation

Pardon me, Sir, I am not sad at this time, for my thoughts
are merry, and my spirits lively.

Interrupt

There is no appearance of mirth in you, for mirth hath alwayes
a dancing heel, a singing voyce, a talking tongue, and a laughing face.

Contempl

I have such merry Companions sometimes; but I seldome
dance, sing, talk, or laugh my self.

Interrupt

Where are those Companions? I desire to be acquainted with
them, and keep them Company.

Contempl

You cannot keep them Company, for the place they inhabit in,
is too little for your Corporal body to enter; besides, they are so curious,
choyce, and nice Creatures, as they will vanish at the very sight of you.

Interrupt

Why Lady, I am none of the biggest sized Men, nor am I of
a terrible aspect; I have seen very fine and delicate Creatures.

Contempl

But you never saw any of these Creatures.

Interrupt

Pray where do they dwell, and what are their Names? I long to
visit them.

Contempl

They dwell in my head, and their Sirnames are called thoughts;
but how you will visit them I cannot tell, but they may visit you.

Interrupt

Faith Lady, your relation hath made me despair of an enterview,
but not a friendly entertainment, if you please to think well of me.

Contempl

Thoughts are free, and for the most part they censure according
to fancy.

Interrupt

Then fancy me such a one, as you could like best, and love
most.

Contempl

That I cannot doe, for I love those best which I create my self,
and Nature hath taught me to prize whatsoever is my own most, although
of smaller valew, than what’s anothers, although of greater worth.

Interrupt

Then make me yours, by creating me anew.

Contempl

That is past my skill; but if you will leave me alone, I will think
of you when you are gone; for I had rather of the two entertain you in my
thoughts, than keep you Company in discourse, for I am better pleased with
a solitary silence, or a silent solitariness, than with a talking conversation, or an Aaa2r 187
an entertaining talking, for words for the most part are rather useless spent,
than profitably spoke, and time is lost in listning to them, for few tongues
make Musick, wanting the Cord of Sense, or sound of Reason, or fingers of
Fancy, to play thereon.

Interrupt

But you will injure your wit, to bury your wit in solitary
silence.

Contempl

Wit lives not on the tongue, as language doth, but in the brain,
which power hath, as Nature, to create.

Interrupt

But those are aery not material Creatures.

Contempl

’Tis true, but what they want in substance, they have in variety;
for the brain can create Millions of several Worlds fill’d full of several Creatures,
and though they last not long, yet are they quickly made, they need not
length of time to give them form and shape.

Interrupt

But there is required Speech to express them, or they are made
in vain, if not divulged.

Contempl

Speech is an enemy to Fancy; for they that talk much, cannot
have time to think much; and Fancies are produced from thoughts, as
thoughts are from the minde, and the minde which doth create the thoughts,
and the thoughts the fancies, is as a Deity; for it entertains it self with it self,
and only takes pleasure in its own works, although none other should partake,
or know thereof; but I shall talk a World out of my head, wherefore
farewel.

Ex.

Scene 5.

Enter Poor Virtue, and her Maid Nan Scrapeall..

Nan Scrapeall

Now your Estate is seized on, you have not means to
keep a Servant, as to pay them for their service.

Poor Virtue

No truly Nan, but that which grieves me most, is, that I have
not wherewithall to reward thee for thy past service.

Nan Scrapeall

I have served you these seven years, and have had nothing
but my bare wages, unless it were some of the worst of your cast Clothes;
for Mrs. Governess took order I should have none of the best; but I hope
you will pay me my half years wages that is due to me.

Poor Virtue

Truly Nan I am not able, for not only my Estate, but all the
Money, Jewels, Plate, and other goods you know was seized on, all that my
Father left, or had a right to, unless it were my single self; and if you will
take my service for half a year for payment, I will be very honest, dutiful, and
diligent.

Nan Scrapeall

No by my troth, for you have been bred with so much attendance,
curiosity, and plenty, as you will rather prove a charge than a payment;
but if you can get means by your youth, and beauty, I shall come and
claim what is owing me.

Poor Virtue

When I am able you shall not need to challenge it; for I
will pay you before you ask.

Nan Scrapeall goes out, and Poor Virtue
sits down as in a deep study.
Aaa2 Enter Aaa2v 188 Enter an old gray headed man namely Humanity, who seeing her in
so Melancholy a Posture, falls a weeping.

Poor Virtue

Why weepst thou old Humanity?

Humanity

For the ruine of your noble family. I came a boy to your
Grandmother the great and rich Lady Natures service, she being then newly
married to your Grandfather the Lord Propriety; from whence sprung your
Father the Lord Morality; your Grandfather, and Grandmother dying, I served
your Father, who soon after married your Mother the Lady Piety, they
living, whilst she lived, with Peace and Tranquillity; but she dying, left you
only to your Father, as a pledg of their loves; and indeed, you are so like
them both, as all must confess they were your Parents, although they knew
not your Birth; and yet none can tell which you resembled most: thus have
I lived to see your Grandfather, and Grandmother, and Father, and Mother
dead, and Peace, and Tranquillity fled; and you sweet Virtue left dessolate
and forlorn, both of friends and fortune; but sweet Lady comfort your self,
for I have a little fortune, which I got honestly in your Fathers service; and
as long as that lasts you shall not want.

Poor Virtue

I thank you, but you are old Humanity, and ready to go upon
Crutches, and age and infirmities are shiftless; wherefore keep it for thy
own use.

Humanity

Why, so is unexperienced youth, both shiftless, and strengthless.

Poor Virtue

Tis true, yet youth hath an encreasing advantage; for time
carryes youth up, but time pulls Age down; wherefore I will not take that
from thee, that will cause thee to be the poorer, or hazard you to want; I shall
only desire your advise, what I shall do, and what course I shall follow.

Humanity

Alas sweet Lady, necessity will drive you into many extremities.

Poor Virtue

I shall have fortitude to arm me; but what Counsel will you
give me?

Humanity

The best way for you will be to get into some great Ladies service,
and in such a place or office as to attend upon her Person, there you
may live with honour and respect.

Poor Virtue

I had rather shrow’d my honest Poverty in a thatcht house,
than live in a Palace to be pointed at for my misfortunes; for in this Age,
misfortunes are accounted crimes, and poverty is condemned as a thief, and
hang’d in the Chains of scorn; wherefore if I could get a service in an honest
poor Farmers house, I might live happy, as being most obscure from the
World, and the Worlds Vices; for vice encreases more in Palaces than in
Cottages; for in Palaces Pride Plows, Faction Sowes, Riot Reaps, Extortion
Threshes, Covetousness Whoords up the grain or gain; there youth is corrupted
with Vanity, Beauty catcht with Flattery, Chastity endangered with Power,
and Virtue slandered by Envy; besides, great Persons use their Servants
too unequally, making them either Masters, or Slaves; where in an humble
Cottage the industrious, and laborious Masters command their Servants
friendly and kindly, and are obeyed with love; wherefore good Humanity,
seek me out such a Place to live in, to serve.

Humanity

I will, for I will never forsake you as long as I live, or at least
so long as I have leggs to goe.

Poor Virtue Bbb1r 189

Poor Virtue

When you cannot visit me, I will visit you, for I shall never
be ungrateful.

Ex.

Scene 6.

Enter the Lady Conversation, and Sir Experience
Traveller
.

Conversation

Sir Experience Traveller, you that have been so great a traveller,
pray tell me what Nations have the rarest Beauties, and which the
greatest Wits?

Sir Experience Traveller

In all my travels, the rarest Beauty that I have
seen, and the greatest Wit that I have heard of, is your self, sweet Lady Conversation.

Conver

Then you have lost your labour; for you might have seen my
Beauty, and have heard my Wit, at lesse Charges, and more
ease.

Experience Tra

Tis true Madam, for some travel meerly to learn to make
a leg or congy with a good grace, and to wear their cloaths, or acouster
themselves fashionably. But I have observed in my travels, that very cold
Countries, and very hot Countries, have neither so many Beauties, nor
so much Wit, at lest not so much as more temperate Countries
have.

Conver

What is the reason of that?

Exper. Trav

I cannot conceive the reason, unlesse the extream coldnesse
of the Climate should congele their Spirits, and stupifie their Brains, making
the Spirits unactive to get, and the Brain too barren to breed and bear Wit.

Conver

So then you make the Spirits and the Brain the Parents to
Wit.

Exper. Trav

Yes Madam.

Conver

And what reason give you for the scarcity of Beauties in very cold
Climates

Exper. Trav

Beauty, Madam, is as tender and fading in the growth, as a
Flower, although it be fresh and sweet; and the more delicate it is, the
more subject to be nipt with the hard Frost, and to be withered with raw
colds.

Conver

Then hot Countries should produce good store.

Exper. Trav

No Madam, for extream heat dryes up Wit, as water in a
Spring, and Sun-burns beauty.

Conver

But hot Brains are thought to produce the greatest Wits.

Expe. Trav

Yes, if they be equally tempered with moisture; for as heat
in moisture are Generators of all Creatures, so of Wit; but if the moisture
exceed the heat, the Brain, or Mind becomes stupid, if the heat exceeds the
moisture, the Brain or Mind becomes mad.

Conver

What Nation hath the best Language?

Expe. Trav

There are but three commendable things in Language, those Bbb are Bbb1v 190
are to be significant, copious, and smooth; and the English tongue hath the
perfection of all, there being an oyle, or butter made of the cream of all other
Languages. Thus, what with the Temperature of the Climate, and
the soft, smooth, spreading Language, England produces rarer Beauties, and
eloquenter Orators, and finer Poets, than any other Nation in the world; and
the Nobility and Gentry live not only in greater grandeur, than in other Nations,
but naturally appear or look with a more splendid Greatnesse.

Conver

Tis true, they did so in former times, when the Crown kept up
Ceremony, and Ceremony the Crown; but since that Ceremony is down,
their grandeur is lost, and their splendor put out, and no light thereof remains:
But they are covered with a dark rudenesse, wherein the Clown justles
the Lord, and the Lord gives the way to the Clown; the man takes the
wall of his Master, and the Master scrapes legs with Cap in hand to the Servant,
and waits upon him, not out of a generous and noble Nature,
but out of a base servile fear, and through fear hath given the Power
away.

Exper. Trav

I am sorry to hear the Nobility is so degenerated.

Ex.

Scene 7.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and his Friend Master Adviser.

Adviser

I wonder your Lordship should be so troubled at your Fathers
commands, which was to marry the Lady Ward, unlesse she had been
ill-favoured and old.

Lord Courtship

O that’s the misery! that she is so young, For I had rather
my Father had commanded me to marry one that had been very old, than
one that is so young; for if she had been very old, there might have been
some hopes of her death; but this young Filly will grow upon me, not from
me; besides, those that are young give me no delight, their Company is
dull.

Adviser

Why, she is not so very young, she is fifteen years of
Age.

Lord Court

Give me a Lady to imbrace about the years of twenty, rather
than fifteen; then is her Beauty like a full-blown Rose in June, her Wit
like fruit is ripe and sweet, and pleasant to the ear; when those of fifteen are
like to green sharp Fruit, not ripened by the Sun of Time. Yet that’s not all
that troubles me; but I cannot endure to be bound in Wedlocks shackles,
for I love variety, and hate to be ty’d to one.

Adviser

Why, you may have the more variety by marrying.

Lord Court

No faith, ’tis a Bar; for if I should but kisse my wives Maid,
which a thousand to one but I shall, my wife, if she doth not beat her Maid,
making a hideous noise, with scoldings, yet she will pout, and cry, and feign
her self sick, or else she would Cuckold me, and then I am paid for
all.

Adviser

Faith my Lord, it is a hundred to one but a man when he is maryedryed Bbb2r 191
shall be Cuckolded, were he as wise as Solomon, as valiant as David, as
fortunate as sar, as witty as Homer, or as Handsome as Absalom; for Women
are of the same Nature as men, for not one man amongst a thousand
makes a good Husband, nor one woman amongst a thousand makes an honest
Wife.

Lord Court

No faith, you might well have put another Cypher and made
it ten thousand.

Adviser

Well my Lord, since you must marry, pray let me counsel
you: This Lady Ward being very young, you may have her bred to your
own Humour.

Lord Court

How is that?

Adviser

Why, accustome her to your wayes before you marry her; let
her see your several Courtships to several Mistresses, and keep wenches in
your house; and when she is bred up to the acquaintance of your customes, it
will be as natural to her.

Lord Court

What, to be a whore?

Adviser

No, to know your humours, and to be contented thereat.

Lord Court

Well, I will take your advice, although it is dangerous:
And as the old saying is, the Medicine may prove worse than the
disease.

Adviser

Why, the worst come to the worst, it is but parting.

Lord Court

You say true; but yet a divorce will not clearly take off the
disgrace of a Cuckold.

Ex.

Scene 8.

Enter Poor Virtue, and old Humanity.

Humanity

I have found out a service, a Farmer which hath the report of
an honest labouring man, and his wife a good huswifely woman; they
have onely one daughter about your years, a pretty Maid truely she is, and
seems a modest one; but how you will endure such rough and rude work,
which perchance they will imploy you in, I cannot tell, I doubt you will tire
in it.

Poor Virtue

Do not fear, for what I want in strength, my industry shall
supply.

Humanity

But you must be fitted with cloaths according, and proper to
your service.

Poor Virtue

That you must help me to.

Humanity

That I will.

Ex.
Bbb2 Act Bbb2v 192

Act III.

Scene 9.

Enter Sir Fancy Poet, and the Lady Contemplation.

Sir Fancy Poet

Sweet Lady Contemplation, although your thoughts be excellent,
yet there are fine curiosities and sweet pleasures to be enjoyed in
the use of the world.

Contemplation

Perchance so, but would not you think that man a Fool
that hath a great estate, a large convenient house, well situated, in sweet and
healthfull Aire, pleasant and delightful, having all about for the eyes to view
Landskips, and Prospects; beside, all the inside richly furnished, annd the
Master plentifully served, and much company to passe his time with, as a resort
of men of all Nations, of all Ages, of all qualities or degrees; and professions,
of all humours, of all breedings, of all shapes, of all complexions:
Likewise a recourse for all Wits, for all Scholars, for all Arts, for all Sciences;
Also Lovers of all sorts Servants of all use, and imployments; Thus
living luxuriously with all rarities and varieties, and yet shall go a begging,
debasing himself with humble crouching, inslaving himself to Obligations,
living upon cold Charity, and is denyed often times unkindly, or kickt out
scornfully, when he may be honoured at home, and served in state, would
not you think that this man had an inbred basenesse, that had rather serve unworthily,
than command honourably; that had rather be inslaved, than free?
Besides, that mind is a fool that cannot entertain it self with it’s own thoughts;
a wandring Vagabond, that is never, or seldome at home in Contemplation;
A Prodigal to cast out his thoughts vainly in idle words, base to inslave it
self to the Body, which is full of corruption, when it can create bodilesse
Creatures like it self in Corporalities; with which self Creatures, it may
nobly, honestly, freely, and delightfully entertain it self. With which, the
mind may not only delight it self, but improve it self; for the thoughts, which
are the actions of the mind, make the soul more healthful and strong by exercises;
for the mind is the soules body, and the thoughts are the actions
thereof.

Fancy Poet

After what manner will you form this Body?

Contemplation

Thus Understanding is the Brain, Reason the Liver, Love is the
heart, Hate the Spleen, Knowledge the Stomach, Judgement the Sinews, Opinions
the Bones, Will the Veins, Imaginations the Blood, Fancy the Spirits,
the Thoughts are the Life, and Motion, or the Motions of the Life, the outward
Form is the Mind it self, which fsometimes is like a Beast, sometimes
like a man, and sometimes like a God.

Fancy Poet

And you my fair Goddesse.

Ex.
Ccc1r 193

Scene 10.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous

My Lord, you are too covetous to take a wife meerly for
her riches.

Lord Courtship

Believe me Madam, I do esteem of such Riches as Money,
as I do of Marriage, and in my nature I do hate them both; for a man is enslaved
by either: wherefore I would shun them if I could, and turn them out
of doors, but that some sorts of necessity and conveniency inforce me to entertain
them; the one for Posteritie sake, the other for subsistence of present
life, besides convenient pleasures.

Lady Am

The Lady Ward, who is to be your wife, seems of a very dull
disposition.

Lord Court

She is so, but I like her the better for that, for I would have a
deadly dull Wife, and a lively Mistresse, such a sprightly Lady as you
are.

Lady Am

In truth my Lord, I am of a melancholy Nature.

Lord Court

Certainly Madam, you onely flawed-reproductionapproximately 2 lettersow the Name, not the Nature,
for your Nature is alwayes fresh, and sweet, and pleasant, as the
Spring.

Lady Am

O no, my mind is like to Winter, and my thoughts are numb
and cold.

Lord Court

If your thoughts were so cold, your words would be as if they
were frozen between your lips, all your discourse would melt by drops, not
flow so smoothly and swiftly into mens eares, as they at all times
do.

Lady Am

Tis true, I am merry when I am in your company, but in
your absence I am as dull as a cloudy day, and as melancholy as dark
night.

Lord Court

I cannot believe so well of my self, as that my company can
be the light of your mirth, but I know that your company is the Sun of my
life, nor could I live without it.

Ex.

Scene 11.

Enter the Lord Title, Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Sir
Golden Riches
.

Lord Title

This is a barren Country, for in all this progresse I have not
seen a pretty Country wench.

Effeminate Lovely

Nor I.

Golden Riches

Nor I.

Lord Title

If an person can tell, it is Tom Purveyer.

Ccc Enter Ccc1v 194 Enter Tom Purveyer.

Now Tom Purveyer, are there no pretty wenches in this part of the Countrey?

Tom Purveyer

Yes that there are, an it please your Lordship, and not far off,
two as pretty wenches as are in the Kingdome, and no dispraise to the rest.

They all speak.

All

Where? where?

Tom Purveyer

Hard by here, at a Farmers House; the one is his Daughter,
the other is his Servant-Maid.

Sir Golden RichesSir Effeminate LovelyLord Title[Speaker label not present in original source]

Prethee Tom show us the house.

Tom Purveyer

Not all at once; but one after another.

Sir Golden RichesSir Effeminate LovelyLord Title[Speaker label not present in original source]

Nay faith Tom, let us all see them at once; but we will Court them
apart.

Tom Purveyer

Content.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lady Conversation, and Sir Fancy Poet.

Lady Conversation

What is the reason that Mercury is feign’d to be the
patron of Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet

That is to be the patron of Scholars, for Scholars are the
greatest Thieves, stealing from the Authours they read, to their own use.

Lady Convers

And why are Scholars counted the greatest Thieves?

Sir Fancy Poet

Because they steal the Spirits, or life of renown, out
of the treasury of Fame; when all other sorts of Thieves steal but the goods
of Fortune, which is nothing but a Corporal dross.

Lady Convers

And why is nhe feigned the talkative God?

Sir Fancy Poet

Because Scholars talk more than other men, and most commonly
so much, as they will let none speak but themselves; and when there
is a Company of Scholars together, they will be so fierce in disputes, as they
will be ready to go to cuffs for the Prerogative of their opinion.

Lady Convers

The Prerogative of the tongue you mean; but why are Scholars
apt to talk most?

Sir Fancy Poet

Because they overcharge their heads with several Authors,
as Epicures do their Stomacks with variety of meats, and being overcharged,
they are forced to vent it forth through the mouth, as the other through the
gut; for the tongue, as a Feather, tickles the throat of Vainglory, vomiting
out the slime of Learning, into the ears of the hearers; but some heads, as
Stomacks which are naturally weak, are so grip’d, by reason it doth not disgest
well, as they vent nothing but windy Phrases; and other brains which are
hot and moist, by reason of a facil memory, disgest so fast, as they do nothing
but purge loose Sentences; and other brains that are too dry and Incipid, are
so costive, as their restringency strains out nothing but strong lines.

Lady Convers

What is that, Non-sense?

Ccc2r 195

Sir Fancy Poet

Indeed they are hard words without sense.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet

A quick Fancy.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Oratour?

Sir Fancy Poet

A ready Tongue.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Physician?

Sir Fancy Poet

Much Practice.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Divine?

Sir Fancy Poet

A Holy Life.

Lady Convers

What makes a good States-man?

Sir Fancy Poet

Long experience, great observance, prudent industry, ingenuous
wit, and distinguishing judgment.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Souldier?

Sir Fancy Poet

Change of Fortune, Courage, Prudence, and Patience.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Courtier?

Sir Fancy Poet

Diligence, Flattery, and time-serving.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Prince, or Governour?

Sir Fancy Poet

Justice, Clemency, Generosity, Courage, and Prudence
mixt together.

Lady Convers

What makes a good Woman?

Sir Fancy Poet

A Poet.

Lady Convers

Why a Poet?

Sir Fancy Poet

By reason the Poetical wits convert their natural defects
into sweet graces, their follies to pure innocencies, and their Vices into Heroick
Virtues.

Lady Convers

By these descriptions, you make as if women were more obliged
to Poets than to Nature.

Sir Fancy Poet

They are so; for where Nature, or Education, makes
one good, or beautiful Woman, Poets make ten; besides, Poets have not
only made greater numbers of beautiful women, but perfecter beauties than
ever Nature made.

Lady Convers

Then let me tell you, that women make Poets; for women
kindle the masculine brains with the fire of Love, from whence arises a
Poetical flame; and their Beauty is the fuel that feeds it.

Sir Fancy Poet

I confess, were there no women, there would be no Poets;
for the Muses are of that Sex.

Exeunt.
Ccc2 Act Ccc2v 196

Act IV.

Scene 13.

Enter Roger Farmer, and Maudling his Wife.

Maudling Huswife

Truly Husband our Maid Poor Virtue is a very industrious
Servant as ever I had in my life.

Roger Farmer

Yes wife, but you were angry with me at first because I perswaded
you to take her.

Maudling Huswife

Why, she seem’d to be so fine a feat, as I thought she
would never have setled to her work.

Roger Farmer

Truly Wife, she does forecast her business so prudently,
and doth every thing so orderly, and behaves her self so handsomely, and carryes
her self so modestly, as she may be a Pattern to our Daughter.

Maudling Huswife

I am a better Pattern my self.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Poor Virtue with a Sheephook, as comming from tending
her sheep, and the Lord Title meets her.

Lord Title

Fair Maid, may I be your Shepheard to attend you.

Poor Virtue

I am but a single Sheep that needs no great attendance,
and a harmless one, that strayes not forth the ground I am put to feed.

Lord Title

Mistake me not fair Maid, I desire to be your Shepheard, and
you my fair Shepheardess, attending loving thoughts, that feed on kisses
sweet, folded in amorous arms.

Poor Virtue

My mind never harbors wanton thoughts, nor sends immodest
glances forth, nor will infold unlawful love, for chastity sticks as fast unto my
Soul, as light unto the Sun, or heat unto the fire, or motion unto life, or absence
unto death, or time unto eternity, and I glory more in being chast, than
Hellen of her beauty, or Athens of their learning and eloquence, or the Lacedemonions
of their Lawes, or the Persians of their Riches, or Greece of their Fables,
or the Romans of their Conquests; and Chastity is more delightfull to
my mind, than Fancy is to Poets, or Musick to the Ears, or Beauty to the
Eyes, and I am as constant to Chastity, as truth to Unity, and Death to life;
for I am as free, and pure from all unchastity as Angels are of sin.

Poor Virtue goes out. Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

I wonder not so much at Fortunes gifts, as Natures curiosities,
not so much at Riches, Tittle and power, as Beauty, Wit, and Virtue, joyn’d in Ddd1r 197
in one; besides, she doth amaze me by expressing so much learning, as if
she had been taught in some famous Schools, and had read many histories,
and yet a Cottager, and a young Cottager, tis strange.

Ex.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and Mr. Adviser.

Adviser

My Lord, doth my Counsel take good effect?

Lord Courtship

Yes faith, for she seems to take it very patiently, or
elce she is so dull a Creature as she is not sensible of any injury that’s done
her.

Adviser

How doth she look when you adress, and salute your Mistriss?

Lord Courtship

She seems to regard us not; but is as if she were in a deep
contemplation of another world.

Adviser

I think she is one of the fewest words, for I never heard her
speak.

Lord Courtship

Faith so few, as I am in good hope she is tongue-tyed, or
will grow dumb.

Adviser

That would be such a happiness, as all married men would envy
you for.

Lord Courtship

They will have cause, for there is nothing so tedious as
talking women, they speak so constraintly, and utter their Nonsence with
such formality, and ask impertinent questions so gravely, or else their discourse
is snip snap, or so loud and shrill, as deafs a mans ears, so as a man
would never keep them Company, if it were not for other reasons.

Adviser

Your Lordship speaks as if you were a woman-hater.

Lord Courtship

O Pardon me, for there is no man loves the Sex better
than I; yet I had rather discourse with their beauty than their wits; besides,
I only speak of generalities, not particularities.

Ex.

Scene. 16.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Sir Huumphrey
Interruption
.

Interruption

Lady, pray make me partaker of some of your conceptions.

Contempl

My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour,
that after he hath spoke, if he were to speak upon the same subject he could
hardly do it, if it were not impossible just to speak as he did, as to express the
same subjects in the same expressions, and way of his natural Rhetorick; for
the sense may be the same, but the expressions, & way of Rhetorick wil hardly
be the same; but ’tis likely will be very different, and so differing, as not
to be like the same; but the same premeditated Rhetorick, will many times Ddd serve Ddd1v 198
serve to many several designs, or preaching, pleading, or speaking, the Theam
or cause being altered; This is the difference betwixt extemporary Oratory,
and premeditated Oratory, the one may be spoke, as many times as an Orator
will, and make the same Oratory serve to many several Subjects; the other
being not fixt, but voluntary, vanishes out of the remembrance, the same
many times do my conceptions.

Interrup

But I hope all are not vanished, some remain; wherefore pray
expresse or present any one of your conceptions after what manner of way
you please.

Contempl

Why then I will tell you, I had a conception of a Monster, as a
Creature that had a rational soul, yet was a Fool: It had had a beautiful and
perfect shape, yet was deformed and ill-favoured; It had clear distinguishing
senses, and yet was sencelesse; It was produced from the Gods, but had
the nature of a Devil; It had an eternal life, yet dyed as a Beast; It had a
body, and no body.

Interrup

What Monster call you this?

Contempl

I call him Man.

Interrup

This is a Man of your own conception.

Contempl

A man of Natures creating is as monstrous: for though man hath a
rational soul, yet most men are fools, making no use of their reason; and though
Man hath a beautiful and perfect shape, yet for the most part, they make
themselves deformed and ill-favoured with antick postures, violent passions,
or brutish vices; and man hath clear distinguishing Senses, yet in his sleep,
or with fumes, or drink, he is sencelesse: Man was produced immediately
from the Gods, yet man being wicked, and prone to evil, hath by evil wickednesse
the nature of a Devil; Man ’tis said, shall live for ever, as having an
eternal life, yet betwixt this life and the other, he dyes like a Beast, and turns
to dust as other Creatures do; but the only difference between the man Nature
creates, and the man my Conceptions create is, that Natures man hath
a real substance as a real body; whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea,
which is an incorporal man, so as the body of my concepted man, is as the soul
of Natures created man, an incorporality.

Ex.

Scene 17.

Enter the Lord Title, and Mall Mean-bred. Written by my
Lord Marquess of
New-castle.

Lord Title

Well, I have lost my first Course in Love, and
now like an angry bloody Gray-hound, I will down with
the first I meet, were she as innocent as a Dove, or as wise as
a Serpent, down she goes.

Enter Mall Mean-bred.

But soft, here’s Loves game, and Ile flye at her. Fair One, for so you
are.

Mall Ddd2r 199

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir I am but a Blouse.

Lord Title

Think better of your self, and believe me.

Mall Mean

My Father hath told me, I must not believe a Gentleman in
such matters.

Lord Title

Why sweetest? I am a Lord.

Mall Mean

A Lord; Lord blesse your Worship then, but my Father
gave me warning of a Lord, he said they might nay, say and swear too, and
do any thing, for they were Peers of the Realm, there was no medling with
them he said, without a Rebellion, blesse me from a Lord, for it is a naughty
thing, as they say, I know not.

Lo. Title

Do you value me so little, when I can make you an Apocryphal
Lady?

Mall Mean

The Apocrypha forsooth is out of my Book, I have been bred
purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha, the Gods blesse us from it, and
from all such ill things.

Lo. Title

Well, in short, will you love me?

Mall Mean

I am so ashamed to love a Lord forsooth that I know not how
to behave my self.

Lo. Title

I will teach you.

Mall Mean

If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant
Country Maid, I will do the best I can to learn forsooth; but will it not be
too much pains for your Honour, do you think?

Lo. Title

No no, it will be both for my Honour, and my pleasure, and for
the pleasure of my Honour.

Mall Mean

Blesse us, how the Lords doe it backward and forward
at their pleasure, the finest that ever was; but what would your Honour have
of me?

Lo. Title

By this kiss Ile tell you.

He goes to kiss her, she seems nice and coy.

Mall Mean

O fie, fie, good your Honour, do not scandalize your lips to
kisse mine, and make me so proud as never to kisse our Shepherd again.

He offers.

Mall Mean

No fie.

Lo. Title

I will and must kisse you.

He strives.

Mall Mean

Nay, good your Honour, good your Honour.

He kisses her.

What are you the better now? But I see there is no denying a Lord, forsooth
it is not civil, and they are so peremptory too, the Gods blesse them,
and make them their Servants.

Lo. Title

This kisse hath so inflamed me, therefore for Loves sake, meet
me in the Evening, in the Broom close here.

Mall Mean

I know the Close forsooth, I have been there before
now.

Lo. Title

Well, and when we meet I will discover more than yet I have
done.

Mall Mean

So you had need forsooth, for nothing is discovered yet, either
on your side, or mine, but I will keep my promise.

Lo. Title

There spoke my better Angel; so adiew.

Mall Mean

An Angel, I will not break my word for two angels, and I hope
there will be no dew neither, God shield you forsooth.

Ex. Here ends my Lord Marquesse. Scene
Ddd2v 200

Scene 18.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, following Poor Virtue.

Sir Effeminate Lovely

Fair Maid, stay and look upon my person.

Poor Virtue

Why, so I do.

Effem. Love

And how do you like it?

Poor Vir

As I like a curious built house, wherein lives a vain and self-conceited
owner.

Effem. Love

And are not you in love with it?

Poor Vir

No truly, no more than with a pencilled Picture.

Effem. Love

Why, I am not painted.

Poor Vir

You are by Nature, though not by Art.

Effem. Love

And do you despise the best and curiousest Works of Nature?

Poor Vir

No, I admire them.

Effem. Love

If you admire them, you will admire me, and if you admire
me, you will yield to my desires.

Poor Vir

There may be admiration withouf love, but to yield to your desires,
were to abuse Natures Works.

Effem. Love

No, It were to enjoy them.

Poor Vir

Nature hath made Reason in man, as well as Sence, and we ought
not to abuse the one, to please the other; otherwise man would be like
Beasts, following their sensualities, which Nature never made man to be;
for she created Virtues in the Soul, to govern the Senses and Appetites of the
Body, as Prudence, Justice, Temperance, and Conscience.

Effem. Love

Conscience? What is that, natural fear?

Poor Vir

No, it is the tenderest part of the Soul, bathed in a holy dew, from
whence repentant tears do flow.

Effem. Love

I find no such tender Constitution, nor moist Complexion in
my Soul.

Poor Vir

That is, by reason the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up,
; feared the Consience dry.

Effem. Love

You may call it what Fire you will, but I am certain it is your
Beauty that kindles it, and your Wit that makes it flame, burning with hot
desires.

Poor Vir

Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again.

Poor Virtue goes out. Lovely alone.

Effem. Love

I am sure Nature requires a self-satisfaction, as well as a self-
preservation, and cannot, nor will not be quiet without it, esteeming it beyond
life.

Ex.
Scene Eee1r 201

Scene 19.

Enter the Lady Ward, and Nurse Careful.

Lady Ward

I wonder my Lord Courtship, he being counted a wise man,
should make me his Baud, if he intends to make me his Wife, and by my
troth Nurse, I am too young for that grave Office.

Nurse Careful

How ignorantly you speak Child? it is a sign you have been
bred obscurely, and know little of the world; or rather it proves your Mother
dyed before you could speak, or go, otherwise you would be better experienced
in these businesses.

Lady Ward

My Mother, Nurse, Heaven rest her soul, she would never have
made me a Baud.

Nurse Careful

No, why then she would not do as most Mothers do now a
dayes; for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters, and
to receive messages, or at lest to watch at the door lest their Fathers should
come unawares, and when they come to make some excuse, and then the
Mother laughs, and sayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle.

La. Ward

What, for telling a lye?

Nurse Careful

Yes, when it is told so, as to appeare like a
truth.

Lady Ward

But it is a double fault, as to deceive the Father, and be a Baud
to the Mother.

Nurse Careful

Why, the Mother will execute the same Office for the daughther
when she is marryed, and her self grown into years; for from the age of
seven or eight years old, to the time they are maryed, the Daughter is a Baud
to the Mother; and from the time of their marriage, to the time of their
Mothers death, the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter; but if the Mother be
indifferently young, and hath a young tooth in her head, as the old saying is,
they Baud for each other.

Lady Ward

But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter, before
she is marryed.

Nurse Care

O there is reason for that, for that may spoil her fortune, by
hindering her marriage: for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face
of adultery, the like Veil is Baud-mothers, and Baud-daughters; for who
would suspect any lewdnesse, when the Mother and the Daughter is together?

La. Ward

And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers, as Daughters are for
their Mothers?

Nurse Careful

No faith, Boys have not facility, or ingenuity as Girles
have; besides, they are kept most commonly so strictly to their Bookes,
when Girles have nothing else to do; but when they have cast away their
Books, and come to be marryed men, then they may chance to Pimp for their
Wives.

Lady Ward

O fie Nurse, surely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold
himself.

Nurse Care

O yes, if they be poor, or covetous, or ambitious; and then
if they have a handsome woman to their wife, they will set her as a bait to
catch their designs in the trap of Adultery; or patient, quiet, simple, fearful Eee men Eee1v 202
men will, if they have a Spritely wife, they will play the Pimp, either for
fear, or quiet; for such men to such wives, will do any thing to please them,
although it be to Cuckold themselves.

La. Ward

But surely Nurse no Gentleman will do so.

Nurse Care

I know not who you call Gentlemen, but those that bear up
high and look big, and vant loud, and walk proud, and carry the out-side
of a Gentleman, will do so.

La. Ward

Certainly Nurse they are but Bastard Gentry, or else they are
degenerated.

Nurse Careful

An incipid Branch may spring from a sound Root, many
a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree.

La. Ward

And do Wives play the Bauds for their Husbands, as the Husbands
play the Pimps for their Wives?

Nurse Care

Most often; for they will make Gossiping meetings, on purpose
for their Husbands to Court other women; for they know when their Husbands
minds are fill’d with amorous love, they will not muse upon their actions,
nor examine their wayes; besides, when as the Husband would take his
liberty without disturbance, he will wink at the liberty his wife takes, and so
will be procurers for each other, and the Ladys acquaintance are Confidents.

La. Ward

Confidents, what is that, Nurse?

Nurse Careful

Why it is thus, two Ladies make friendship, or at least
call Friends, and if any man desires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them,
he addresses himself to the other, and expresses what Passions and Affections
he hath for her friend, and so makes his complaints and affections known to
her; whereupon she recommends his addresses and service to her Friend;
thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his professions, and returning
her Friends civil answers, appointing places for each others lovemeetings,
the other will do as much for her.

La. Ward

Why this is a Baud.

Nurse Care

O peace Child, for if any body heard you say so, they would
laugh at you for a Fool, but ’tis a sign you never was a Courtier, for I
knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour; and there
were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other, and a great Prince
made love to one of them, but adddrest himself to the other, as being her
Friend; this young Maid askt why he did so, it was answered, she was the
Princes Mistresse Confident; and just as you ask me, what said she, is a confident
a Baud; whereupon the whole Court laught at her, and for that only
question condemned her to be a very Fool, nay, a meer Changling.

La. Ward ,.

Well Nurse, say what you will, Confident is but a Courtly
name for a Baud.

Ex. Scene
Eee2r 203

Scene 20.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Mall Mean-bred. This following Scene
was writ by the Lord
Marquess of New-castle.

Sir Effeminate Lovely

Those wandering Stars
that shine like brightest day, are fixt on me, the
Center of your love.

Mall Mean-bred

O Heavens!

Sir. Effem. Lovely

Happy to touch those Lillies in your cheeks mingled
with Roses, loves perfumed bath.

Mall. Mean-bred

They grow forsooth in our Garden.

Sir Effem. Lovely

You are the Garden of all sweets for love, your blushing
lips of the Vermillion die, and those twin cherries, give me leave to
taste.

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir, I understand no Latin, but I will call our Vicar
to you, and he shall expound.

Sir Effem. Lovely

No dearest Dear, my lovely Dear, my dearest Love,
my lovelyest Dear.

Mall Mean-bred

I never cost you any thing as yet, Sir.

Sir Effem. Lovely

Why, then no Lady of Arcadie bred.

Mall Mean-bred

Truly Sir, this is as our Vicar saith, like Hebrew without
poynts, to be read backwards; say any thing forward in Nottingham-shire;
speak, that I may guess at, and I will answer your Worship, though truly, it
is as fine as ever I understood not.

Effem. Lovely

Why then sweet heart I love you, and would gladly enjoy
you.

Mall Mean-bred

O fie, enjoy is a naughty word forsooth, if it please
you.

Effem. Lovely

It would please me, your thoughts of what you
mince.

Mall Mean-bred

Thoughts are free forsooth, and I love whole joints without
mincing.

Effem. Lovely

Why then in plain English, I would have your Maidenhead.

Mall Mean-bred

O dear, how will you get it, can you tell? Truely, truely,
I did not think such naughty words would come forth of so fine a Gentlemans
mouth.

Effem. Lovely

But tell me truely, do you think me fine?

Mall Mean

You will make me blush now, and discover all; so fine
cloaths, the Taylor of Norton never made such, and so finely made, unbuttoned
and untrust doth so become you; but I do hang down my head for shame;
and those Linnen Boot-hose (as if you did long to ride,) do so become you,
and your short Coat to hang on your left arm; O sweet, O sweet; and then
your Hat hid with so fine a Feather, our Peacocks tailes are not like it; and
then your hair so long, so finely curled, and powder’d in sweets, a sweeter
Gentleman I never saw. My love’s beyond dissembling, so young, so fresh, so
every thing, I warrant you; O Sir, you will ravish me, but yet you cannot.

Effem. Lovely

O how you have made me thankfulnesse all over for this Eee2 your Eee2v 204
your bounty to me; wherefore my earthly Paradise, let us meet in the next
Close, there under some sweet Hedge to tast Loves aromatick Banquet at
your Table.

Mall Mean-bred

O Sir, with blushes I consent; farewel; do not bettray me then,
you must not tell.

Farewell my sweetest, granting of my sute,

Shall still inslave me, and be ever mute.

Here ends my Lord Marquesse’s Scene. Ex.

Scene 21.

Enter Poor Virtue, and Sir Golden Riches following
her.

Golden Riches

Stay lovely Maid, and receive a Fortune.

Poor Virtue

I am Fortune proof Sir, she cannot tempt me.

Gold. Rich

But she may perswade you to reason.

Poor Virtue

That she seldome doth, for she is alwayes in extremes, and

Extremes are out of Reason’s Schools,

That makes all those that follow Fortune Fooles.

Gol. Rich

What do you Rime, my pretty Maid?

Poor Virtue

Yes Rich Sir, to end my discourse.

Golden Riches

I will make you Rich, if you will receive my
gifts.

Poor Virtue

I love not gifts Sir, because they often prove bribes to corrupt.

Gold. Rich

Why, what do you love then?

Poor Vir

I love Truth, Fidelity, Justice, Chastity; and I love obedience to
lawful Authority, which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring,
I would suffer death.

Gold. Rich

Are you so wilful?

Poor Vir

No, I am so constant.

Gold. Rich

But young Maid, you oughrt not to deny all gifts, for there are
gifts of pure affection, Love-gifts of Charity, gifts of Humanity, and gifts of
Generosity.

Poor Virtue

They are due debts, and not gifts; For those you call gifts of
pure Love, are payments to dear deserving friends; and those of Charity are
payments to Heaven; and those of Humanity are payments to Nature, and
those of Generosity, are payments to Merit; but there are vain-glorious gifts,
covetous gifts, gifts of fear, and gifts that serve as Bauds to corrupt foolish
young Virgins.

Gold. Rich

Are you so wise as to refuse them?

Poor Vir

I am so virtuous as not to take them.

Ex.
Act Fff1r 205

Act V.

Scene. 22.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Visitant.

Visitant

What still musing, O thou idle creature?

Contemp

I am not idle, for I busie my self with my own fancies.

Visitant

Fancies are like dust, soon raised, and suddenly blown away.

Contemp

No, they are as fire-works that sparkling flie about; or rather
stars, set thick upon the brain, which gives a twinckling delight unto the
mind.

Visitant

Prethee delight thy friends with thy conversation, and spend not
thy time with dull thoughts.

Contemp

Pray give me leave to delight my self with my own thoughts,
since I have no discourse to entertain a hearer.

Visitant

Why, your thoughts speak in your mind, although your tongue
keeps silence.

Contemp

’Tis true; but they disturb not the mind with noise, for noise
is the greatest enemy the mind hath: and as for my part, I think the most
useless sense that Nature hath made, is hearing: the truth is, that hearing
and smelling might well have been spared, for those two senses bring
no materials into the brain; for sound and scent are incorporal.

Visitant

Then put out all the senses.

Contemp

There is no reason for that, for the eyes bring in pictures which
serve the mind for patterns to draw new fancies by, and to cut, or carve out
figurative thoughts, and the last serves towards the nourishment of the body,
and touches the life.

Visitant

But wisedome comes through the ear by instruction.

Contemp

Wisedome comes through the eye by experience; for we shall
doubt of what we only hear, but never doubt of what we see perfectly: But
the ground of wisedom is Reason, and Reason is born with the soul, wherefore
the ear serves only for reproof, and reproof displeases the mind, and
seldome doth the life any good; nay many times it makes it worse, for the
mind being displeased, grows angry, and being angry, malicious, and being
malicious, revengeful, and revenge is war, and war is destruction.

Visitant

But if you were deaf, you would lose the sweet harmony of
musick.

Contemp

Harmony becomes discord by often repetition, and at the best
it doth but rock the thoughts asleep; whereas the mind takes more pleasure
in the harmony of thoughts, and the musick of fancy, than in any that
the senses can bring into it.

Visitant

Prethee let this harmonious musick cease for a time, and let us
go and visit the Lady Conversation.

Contemp

It Seems a strange humour to me, that all mankind in general
should have an itching tongue to talk, and take more pleasure in the wagging
thereof, than a beggar in scratching where a louse hath bit.

Fff Visit Fff1v 206

Visitant

Why, every part of the body was made for some use, and the
tongue to express the sense of the mind.

Contemp

Pardon me, tongues were made for taste, not for words, for
words was an art which man invented: you may as well say, the hands were
made to shuffle cards, or to do juggling tricks, when they were made to defend
and assist the body; or you may as well say, the legs were made to cut
capers, when they were made to carry the body, and to move, as to goe
from place to place; for, though the hands can shuffle cards, or juggle,
and the legs can cut capers, yet they were not made by Nature for that use,
nor to that purpose; but howsoever, for the most part, the sense and reason
of the mind is lost in the number of words; for there are millions of words
for a single figure of sense, and many times a cyphre of nonsense stands instead
of a figure of sense: Besides, there are more spirits spent, and flesh wasted
with speaking, than is got or kept with eating, as witness Preachers, Pleaders,
Players, and the like, who most commonly die with Consumptions; and I
believe, many of our effeminate Sex do hurt the lungs with over-exercising
of their tongues, not only with licking and tasting of Sweet-meats, but with
chatting and prating, twitling and twatling; for I cannot say speaking, or
discoursing, which are significant words, placed in a methodical order, then
march in a regular body upon the ground of Reason, where sometimes the
colour of Fancy is flying.

Visitant

Now the Flag of your wit is flying, is the fittest time to encounter
the Lady Conversation; and I make no question but you will be Victorious,
and then you shall be Crowned the Queen of Wit.

Contemp

I had rather bury my self in a Monument of Thoughts, than sit
in the Throne of Applause for Talking.

Exeunt.

Scene 23.

Enter the Lord Title to Poor Virtue, who sat under a little hedge,
bending like a Bower. He sits down by her.

Lord Title

Sweet, why sit you so silently here?

Poor Virtue

My speech is buried in my thoughts.

Lord Title

This silent place begets melancholy thoughts.

Poor Virtue

And I love melancholy so well, as I would have all as silent
without me; as my thoughts are within me; and I am so well pleased
with thoughts, as noise begets a grief, when it disturbs them.

Lord Title

But most commonly Shepherds and Shepherdesses sit and
sing to pass away the time.

Poor Virtue

Misfortunes have untuned my voice, and broke the strings of
mirth.

Lord Title

Misfortunes? what misfortunes are thou capable of? Thou
hast all thou wert born to.

Poor Virtue

I was born to die, and ’tis misfortune enough I live, since my
life can do no good: I am but useless here.

Lord Fff2r 207

Lord Title

You were born to help increase the world.

Poor Virtue

The world needs no increase, there are too many creatures already,
especially mankinde; for there are more than can live quietly in the
world; for I perceive, the more populous, the more vicious.

Lord Title

’Tis strange you should be so young, so fair, so witty as you
are, and yet so melancholy; thy poverty cannot make it, for thou never
knewest the pleasure of riches.

Poor Virtue

Melancholy is the only hopes I do rely upon, that though I
am poor, yet that may make me wise; for fools are most commonly merriest,
because they understand not the follies that dwell therein, nor have enough
consideration of the unhappiness of man, who hath endless desires,
unprofitable travels, hard labours, restless hours, short pleasures, tedious
pains, little delights, blasted joys, uncertain lives, and decreed deaths; and
what is mirth good for? it cannot save a dying friend, nor help a ruined
Kingdome, nor bring plenty to a famished Land, nor quench out malignant
Plagues; nor is it a ward to keep misfortunes off, though it may triumph
on them.

Lord Title

But you a young Maid, should do as young Maids do, seek
out the company of young Men.

Poor Virtue

Young Maids may save themselves that labour, for Men will
seek out them, or else you would not be sitting here with me.

Lord Title

And are you not pleas’d with my company?

Poor Virtue

What pleasure can there be in fears?

Lord Title

Are you afraid of me?

Poor Virtue

Yes truly; for the ill example of men, corrupts the good
principles in women: But I fear not the perverting of my Vertue, but mens
incivilities.

Lord Title

They must be very rudely bred, that give you not respect,
you being so very modest.

Poor Virtue

’Tis not enough to be chastly modest and honest, but as a servant
to my Mr. and Mrs. I must be dutiful, and careful to their commands,
and on their employments they have put to me: wherefore I must leave you
Sir, and go fold my sheep.

Lord Title

I will help you.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter Sir Golden Riches, and Mall Mean-bred. This Scene was written
by my Lord Marquiss
of Newcastle.

Golden Rich

Sweet-heart, I have no Sonnets,
Songs, or stronger Lines, with softer Poesie
to melt your Soul, nor Rhetorick to charm your
Eares, or Logick for to force, or ravish you, nor
lap’t in richer cloaths embalm’d in Sweets, nor Courtly Language; but
am an Ancient Squire, by name Sir Golden Riches, which hath force in all
things, and then in Love; for Cupid being blinde, he is for feeling, and look
here my Wench, this purse is stuff’d with Gold, a hundred pounds.

Mall Mean-bred

Let me see, poure it on the ground.

Fff2 Golden Fff2v 208

Gold. Rich

I will obey thee: Look here my Girl.

He pours it on
the ground.

Mall Mean-bred

O dear, how it doth shine forsooth!
it almost blinds mine eyes; take it away, yet
pray let it stay: truly I know not what to do with it.

Gold. Rich

No? why it will buy you rich Gowns, ap’d in the Silk-worms
toyls, with stockings of the softer silk, to draw on your finer legs, with rich
lace shooes, with roses that seem sweet, and garters laced with spangles
like twinckling Stars, embalm your hair with Gessimond Pomatums, and rain
Odoriferous Powders of Proud Rome.

Mall Mean-bred

O Heaven! what a Wench shall I be, could I get
them! But shall we have fine things of the Pedlar too?

Gold. Rich

Buy all their packs, and send them empty home.

Mall Mean-bred

O mighty! I shall put down all the Wenches at the
May-pole; then what will the Bag-piper say, do you think? Pray tell me,
for he is a jeering knave.

Gold. Rich

Despise the Rural company, and that windy bag, change it for
Balls with the greatest Lords to dance, and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of
frame.

Mall Mean-bred

Then I shall have a Mail Pillion, and ride behind our
Thomas to the dancing.

Gold. Rich

No, you shall ride in rich gilt Coaches, Pages and Lacquies
in rich Liveries, with Gentlemen well cloath’d, to wait upon you.

Mall Mean-bred

And be a Lady; then I will be proud, and will not know
Thomas any more, nor any Maid that was acquainted with me.

Gold. Rich

You must forget all those of your Fathers house too; for I’ll
get a Pedigree shall fit you, and bring you Lineally descended from Great
Charlemain.

Mall Mean-bred

No, I will have it from Charls Wayn my Fathers Carter;
but I would so fain be a Lady, and it might be: I will be stately, laugh without
a cause, and then I am witty, and jeer sometimes, and speak nonsense
aloud. But this Gold will not serve for all these fine things.

Gold. Rich

Why then we will have hundreds and thousands of pounds,
until you be pleas’d, so I may but enjoy you in my Arms.

Mall Mean-bred

No Maid alive can hold out these Assaults, Gold is the
Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates, a Souldier told me so. Well then, my
Lord Title, farewel, for you are an empty name; and Sir Effeminate Lovely,
go you to your Taylor, make some more fine cloaths in vain.

I’ll stick to Riches, do then what you will,

The neerest way to pleasure buy it still.

Exeunt.
Scen. Ggg1r 209

Scene 25.

Enter the Lady Ward alone.

Lady Ward

Why should Lord Courtship dislike me? Time hath not
plowed wrinkles in my face, nor digged hollows in my cheeks, not
hath he set mine eyes deep in my head, nor shrunk my sinews up, nor suck’d
my veins dry, nor fed upon my flesh, making my body insipid and bare; neither
hath he quenched out my wit, nor decay’d my memory, nor ruin’d my
understanding; but perchance Lord Courtship likes nothing but what is in
perfection; and I am like a house which Time hath not fully finished, nor
Education throughly furnished.

Scene 26.

Enter Poor Virtue, and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming
from Mall Mean-bred.

Golden Riches

Sweet-heart, refuse not Riches, it will buy thee friends,
pacifie thy enemies; it will guard thee from those dangers that throng
upon the life of every creature.

Poor Virtue

Heavenly Providence is the Marshal which makes way for
the life to pass through the croud of dangers, and my Vertue will gain me
honest friends, which will never forsake me, and my humble submission will
pacifie my enemies, were they never so cruel.

Gold. Rich

But Riches will give thee delight, and place thee in the midst
of pleasures.

Poor Virtue

No, it is a peaceable habitation, a quiet and sound sleep,
and a healthful body, that gives delight and pleasure, and ’tis not riches; but
riches many times destroy the life of the body, or the reason in the soul,
or, at least, bring infirmities thereto through luxury; for luxury slackens
the NNerves, quenches the Spirits, and drowns the Brain, and slackned
Nerves make weak Bodies, quenched Spirits, timorous Minds, a drowned
Brain, and watry Understanding, which causeth Sloth, Effeminacy, and Simplicity.

Gold. Rich

How come you to know so much of the world, and yet know
so few passages in it, living obscurely in a Farmers house?

Poor Virtue

The Astronomers can measure the distance of the Planets,
and take the compass of the Globe, yet never travel to them, nor have they
Embassadors from them, nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence.

Gold. Rich

How come you to be so learnedly judicious, being so young,
poor, and meanly born and bred?

Poor Virtue

Why, Fire, Air, Water, and Earth, Animals, Vegetables,
and Minerals, are Volumes large enough to express Nature, and make a
Scholar learn to know the course of her works, and to understand many effectsGgg fects Ggg1v 210
produced therefrom. And as for Judgment and Wit, they are brother
and sister; and although they do not alwayes, and at all times agree, yet are
they alwayes the children of the Brain, being begot by Nature. Thus what
Wit or Knowledge I have, may come immediately from Nature, not from
my Birth or Breeding; but howsoever, I am not what I seem.

Exeunt.

Scene 27

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and the Lady Visitant.

Visitant

What makes you look so sad?

Contempl

Why Monsieur Amorous’s visit hath been the cause of the
death of one of the finest Gentlemen of this Age.

Visitant

How, Pray?

Contempl

Why thus; my Imagination (for Imagination can Create
both Masculine and Feminine Lovers) had Created a Gentleman that was
handsomer and more beautiful than Leander, Adonis, or Narcissus; valianter
than Tamberlain, Scanderbeg, Hannibal, sar, or Alexander; sweeter-
natur’d than Titus, the delight of mankinde; better-spoken, and more eloquent
than Tully, or Demosthenes; wittyer than Ovid, and a better Poet
than Homer. This man to fall desperately in love with me, as loving my
Vertues, honouring my Merits, admiring my Beauty, wondring at my Wit,
doting on my Person, adoring me as an Angel, worshipping me as a Goddess;
I was his Life, his Soul, his Heaven. This Lover courted my affections
with all the industry of Life, gifts of Fortune, and actions of Honour;
sued for my favour, as if he had sued to Heaven for mercy; but I, as
many cruel goddesses do, would neither receive his obligations, nor regard
his vowes, nor pity his tears, nor hearken to his complaints, but rejectd
his Sute, and gave him an absolute denyal; whereupon he was resolved to
dye, as believing no torments could be compared to those of my disdain;
and since I would not love him living, he hoped by dying, his death might
move my pity, and so beget a compassionate remembrance from me; wherupon
he got secretly neer my chamber-door, and hung himself just where I
must go out, which when I saw, I started back in a great fright, but at last
running forth to call for help to cut him down, in came Monsieur Amorous,
which hindrance made me leave him hanging there, as being ashamed to
own my cruelty; and he hath been talking, or rather prating here for so long, as
by this time my kind Love is dead.

Visitant

O no, for Lovers will hang a long time before they dye; for their
necks are tuff, and their hearts are large and hot.

Contempl

Well, pray leave me alone, that I may cut him down, and give
him Cordials to restore life.

Visitant

Faith you must let him hang a little time longer, for I have undertaken
to make you a sociable Lady this day; wherefore you must goe abroad
to a friends house with me.

Contempl

Who I? what do you think I will goe abroad, and leave my
Lover in a twisted string? his legs hanging dangling down, his face all black
and swelled, and his eyes almost started out of his head? no, no, pray goe
alone by your self, and leave me to my Contemplation.

Visitant Ggg2r 211

Visitant

Well, if you will not goe, I will never see you, nor be friends
with you again.

Contempl

Pray not be angry, for I will go, if you will have me, although
I shall be but a dull companion; for I shall not speak one word; for wheresoever
I am, my thoughts will use all their Industry to cut the string, and
take him down, and rub and chafe him against a hot fire.

Visitant

Come, come, you shall heat your self with dancing, and let your
Lover hang.

Contempl

That I cannot; for active bodies and active brains are never at
once, the one disturbs the other.

Visitant

Then it seems you had rather have an active brain, than an active
body.

Contempl

Yes; for when the brain doth work, the understanding is inriched,
and knowledge is gained thereby: whereas the body doth oft times
waste the life with too much exercise.

Visitant

Take heed you do not distemper your brain with too much exercisising
your thoughts.

Contempl

All distempers proceed from the body, and not from the minde;
for the minde would be well, did not the humours and appetites of the body
force it into a distemper.

Visitant

Well, upon the condition you will goe, you shall sit still, and
your wit shall be the Musick.

Contempl

Prethee let me rest at home; for to day the strings of my wit
are broken, and my tongue, like a fiddle, is out of tune: Besides, Contemplative
persons are at all times dull speakers, although they are pleasant
thinkers.

Exeunt.

Finis.

Ggg2v 212

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation

The Actors Names.

Lord Title.

Lord Courtship.

Sir Fancy Poet.

Sir Experienced Traveller.

Sir Humphry Interruption.

Sir Golden Riches.

Sir Effeminate Lovely.

Sir John Argument.

Sir Vain Complement.

Master Inquirer.

Doctor Practice.

Old Humanity.

Roger Farmer.

Thom. Purveyer.

2. Beadles, Gentlemen and others.

Lady Amorous.

INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that cb is unmatched.

Lady Ward.

Lady Contemplation

Lady Conversation.

Lady Visitant.

Poor Virtue.

Mistris Troublesome.

Mistris Gossip.

Mistris Messenger, Lady Amorous’s
woman
.

Nurse Careful.

Maudling Huswife, Roger Farmers
wife
.

Mall Mean-bred, their daughter.

Mistris Troublesomes maid.

Servants and others.

The Hhh1r 213

The Second Part of the Lady Contemplation.

Act I.

Scene.1.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.

Effeminate Lovely

Sweet-heart, you are a most Heavenly Creature.

Poor Virtue

Beauty is created and placed oftner in the fancy,
than in the face.

Effem. Lovely

’Tis said there is a Sympathy in likeness; if
so, you and I should love each other, for we are both beautiful.

Poor Virtue

But ’tis a question whether our Souls be answerable to our
Persons.

Effem. Lovely

There is no question or doubt to be made, but that loving
souls live in beautiful persons.

Poor Virtue

And do those loving soules dye, when their beauties are decayed
and withered?

Effem

The subject pleads it self, without the help of Rhetorick, for
Love and Beauty lives and dies together.

Poor Virtue

’Tis Amorous Love that dies when Beauty is gone, not Vertuous
Love; for as Amorous Love is bred, born, lives, and dies with the appetite:
so Vertuous Love is Created, and shall live with the Soul for
ever.

Effem. Lovely

You may call it what love you please.

Poor Virtue

It is no love, but a disease.

Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtship

Why did you leave the Lady Amorous company so uncivilly,
as to go out of the room, leaving her all alone?

Lady Ward

I heard your Lordship was coming, then I thought it was fit
for me to withdraw; for I have heard Lovers desire to be alone.

Lord Courtship

Do you desire to be alone with a man?

Lady Ward

I am no such Lover, for I am too young as yet, but I know
not what I shall or may be wrought or brought to, but time and good example
may instruct and lead me into the way of amorous love.

Lord Courtship

May it so?

Lady Ward

Why not? for I am docible, and youth is apt to learn.

Hhh Lord Hhh1v 214

Lord Court

But before I marry you, I would have you learn to know how
to be an obedient wife, as to be content, and not murmure at my actions, also
to please my humour, but not to imitate my practice.

Lady Ward

If I might advise your Lordship, I would advise you to take
such a Portion out of my Estate, as you shall think just or fit, and then quit
me, and choose such a one as you shall like, for I shall never please you; for
though I may be apt to learn what will please my self, yet I am dull and
intractable to learn obedience to anothers will, nor can I flatter their
delights.

Lord Court

I finde you have learned, and now begin to practice how to
talk; for now your sober silence seems as dead and buried in the rubbish of
foolish words: But let me tell you, a talking wife will never please me;
wherefore practice patience, and keep silence, if you would enjoy the happiness
of peace.

The Lord Courtship goes out. Lady Ward alone.

Lady Ward

There can be no peace, when the mind is discontented.

Exit.

Scene. 3.

Enter Lord Title, and Poor Vertue.

Poor Virtue

Why do you follow me so much, as never to let me rest in
peace and quiet alone? Is it that you think I have beauty? and is it
that you are in love with? why, to cure your disease, I will deform it; or
do you think I have wit to cure that Imagination? I will put my tongue to
silence. I am sure it cannot be my Vertue that inflames you to an intemperance;
for Vertue is an Antidote against it: But had you all the beauty
in Nature squeez’d into your form, and all the wit in Nature prest into
your brain, and all the prosperities of good fortune at your command, and
all the power of Fate and Destiny at your disposal, you could not perswade
me to yield to your unlawful desires; for know, I an honest without selfends;
my virtue, like to Time, still running forward; my chastity fix’d as Eternity,
without circumferent lines; besides, it is built on the foundation of
Morality, and roof’d and ciel’d with the faith of Religion, and the materials
thereof are Honour, which no subtil Arguments can shake the one, nor
no false Doctrine can corrupt or rot the other; neither is the building subject
to the fire of unlawful love, nor the tempestuous storms of torments,
nor the deluge of poverty, nor the earthquakes of fear, nor the ruines of
death; for so long as my Soul hath a being, my Chastity will live. But
were you as poor as I, Even to move pity, or so lowly and meanly born, as
might bring contempt and scorn from the proud, yet if your mind and soul
were endued with noble qualities, and heroical vertues, I should sooner embrace
your love, than to be Mistris of the whole World; for my affection
to merit hath been ingrafted into the root of my Infancy, which hath
grown up with my yeares, so that the longer I live, the more it increases.

Lord Title

You cannot think I would marry you, although I would lie
with you.

Poor Hhh2r 215

Poor Virtue

I cannot but think it more possible that you should marry me,
than I to be dishonest.

Lord Title

Thou art a mean poor wench, and I nobly descended.

Poor Virtue

What though I am poor, yet I am honest, and poverty is no
crime; nor have my Ancestors left marks of infamy to shame me to the
world

Lord Title

Thy Ancestors? what were they but poor peasants? wherefore
thou wilt dignifie thy Race, by yielding to my love.

Poor Virtue

Heaven keep them from that dignity that must be gained by
my dishonesty: no, my chastity shall raise a Monumental Tomb over their
cold dead ashes.

Poor Vrirtue goes out. Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

What pity it is Nature should put so noble a soul into a meanborn
body.

Exit.

Scene 4.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courts

Pray go visit the Lady Amorous, and if her husband be absent,
deliver her this letter.

Lady Ward

Excuse me my Lord.

Lord Courts

Wherefore?

Lady Ward

I am no Carrier of Love-letters.

Lord Courts

But you shall carry this.

Lady Ward

But I will not.

Lord Courts

Will you not?

Lady Ward

No, I will rather endure all the torments that can be invented.

Lord Courts

And you shall; for I will torture you if you do not; for
I will have you drawn up high by two thumbs, which is a pain will
force you to submit.

The Lady Ward falls into a passion.

Lady Ward

Do so if you will; nay scrue me up into the middle-Region,
there will I take a Thunderbolt, and strike you dead, and with such strength
I’ll fling it on you, as it shall press your soul down to the everlasting shades
of death.

Lord Courts

Sure you will be more merciful.

Lady Ward

No more than Devils are to sinful souls; there will I be
your Bawd, to procure you variety of torments; for I had rather be one
in Pluto’s black Court, caused by my own revenge, than to be a Bawd on
earth, which is a humane Devil.

Lord Courts

You are mad.

Lady Ward

Might every word I speak prove like a mad dogs bite, not
only to transform your shape, and turn your speech to barks and howlings,
but that your soul may be no other than the souls of beasts are.

Lord Courts

You are transformed from a silent young Maid to a raging
Fury.

Lady Ward

May all the Furies that Hell inhabites, and those that live Hhh2 on Hhh2v 216
on earth, torment your minde, as rack do torture bodies, and may the venom
of all malice, spleen, and spight, be squeez’d into your soul, and poyson
all content, your thoughts flame like burning oyl, and never quench,
but be eternally a fiery Animal; and may the fire feed onlely on your self,
and as it burns, your torments may increase.

The Lady Ward goes out. Lord Courtship alone.

Lord Courts

She is mad, very mad, and I have only been the cause.

Exit.

Scene 5.

Enter the Lord Title, and Poor Virtue,.

Lord Title

Fairest, will not you speak?

Poor Virtue

My words have betrayed my heart, as discovering the secrets
therein: wherefore I will banish them, and shut the doors of my lips
against them.

Lord Title

What, for saying you love me.

Poor Virtue weeps.

Sweet, why do you weep?

Poor Virtue

Tears are the best Cordials for a heart opprest with grief.

Lord Title

I should hate my self, if I could think I were the cause. But
pray forbear to weep.

Poor Virtue

Pray give my grief a liberty, my tears are no disturbance, they
showre down without a ratling noise, and silent fall without a murmuring
voice; but you disturb me: Wherefore for pity-sake leave me, and I will
pray you may enjoy as much prosperity as good fortune can present you with,
and as much health as Nature can give you, and as much tranquillity as Heaven
can infuse into a mortal creature.

Lord Title

Neither Fortune, Nature, nor Heaven can please me, or make
me happy in this world without you.

Poor Virtue

O you torment me.

Exit, the Lord follows her.

Scene 6.

Enter Sir Humphry Interruption to the Lady
Contemplation
.

Sir Humphry Inter

Surely Lady Contemplation your thoughts must needs be
very excellent, that they take no delight but with themselves.

Lady Contempl

My thoughts, although they are not material, as being profitable,
yet they are innocent, as being harmless.

Sir Humphry Inter

Yet your thoughts do the world an injury, in burying
your words in the grave of silence.

Lady Contempl

Let me inform you, that sometimes they creep out of their Iii1r 217
their graves as Ghosts do, and as Ghosts walk in solitary places, so I speak
to my solitary self, which words offend no ears, because I speak to no ears
but my own; and as they have no flatterers to applaud them, so they have
no censurers to condemn them.

Sir Humphry Inter

But you bury your life, whilst you live retir’d from
company.

Lady Contempl

O no, for otherwise my life would be buried in company;
for my life never enjoys it self, but when it is alone; and for the most part,
all publick societies are like a discord in Musick, every one playing several
contrary parts in their actions, speaking in several contrary notes, striking on
several contrary subjects, which makes a confusion; and a confused noise
is like a disordered multitude, only the one offends the ear, as the other offends
the eyes; and there can be no pleasure but in harmony, which harmony
is Quantity, Quality, Symmetry, and Unity; and though quality, quantity,
and symmetry are brought by the Senses, yet Unity is made in the mind. Thus
Harmony lives in the minde; for without the minde, the senses could take
no delight.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene. 7.

Enter the Lady Ward, and Doctor Practice.

Doctor Practice

How do you Lady?

Lady Ward

Why very well Doctor, how do you?

Doctor Prac

Why I was sent, as being believed you are mad.

Lady Ward

Troth Doctor that’s no wonder; for all the world is mad,
more or less.

Doctor Prac

Do you finde any distemper in your head?

Lady Ward

My head will ake sometimes.

Doctor Pract

I mean a distemper in your minde.

Lady Ward

My minde is troubled sometimes.

Doctor Pract

That is not well: let me feel your pulse.

Lady Ward

Why Doctor, can you know the temper of my mind, by the
feeling of my pulse?

Doctor Pract

There is a great Sympathy between the Minde and the
Body.

Lady Ward

But I doubt, Doctor, your learned skill is many times deceived
by the pulse; you will sooner find a mad distemper in the tongue or
actions, than in the writsts.

Doctor Prac

In troth Lady, you speak reason, which those that are mad
do not do.

Lady Ward

O yes, Doctor, but they doe, as you cure Diseases, by
chance.

Exeunt.
Iii Scene Iii1v 218

Scene 8.

Enter the Lord Title alone.

Lord Title

O Love, dissembling love, that seem’st to be the best of passions,
and yet torments the soul!

He walks in a melancholy muse. Enter Master Inquirer.

Master Inquirer

What makes your Lordship so melancholy, as to shun
all your friends, to walk alone?

Lord Title

I am in Love.

Master Inqui

There are many remedies for love.

Lord Title

I would you could tell me one.

Master Inqui

May I know the Lady you are in love with?

Lord Title

The Lady say you? she is a poor Lady.

Master Inqui

Your Lordship is so rich, as you may marry without a portion,.

Lord Title

O I could curse my fate, and rail at my destiny.

Master Inqui

For what?

Lord Title

To make me fall in love with one I am asham’d to make her
known.

Master Inqui

Is she so mean, and yet so beautiful?

Lord Title

O she hath all the Beauties and Graces that can attract a soul
to love; for surely Nature sate in Councel to make her body, and the Gods
sate in Councel to compose her mind.

Master Inqui

May not I see her?

Lord Title

Yes.

Master Inqui

Where may I find her?

Lord Title

Upon the next Plain, under a bush that bends much like a
bower, there she most commonly sits to watch her sheep; but I will goe
with you.

Master Inqui

You Lordship is not jealous?

Lord Title

All Lovers think their Beloved is never secure enough.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Nurse Careful, as in a fright, unto the Lady Ward.

Nurse Careful

O my Child, I am told that on a sudden you turned
mad!

Lady Ward

Surely Nurse your fear, or what else it may be, you seem to
me to be more mad than I can find in my self to be.

Nurse Caref

That shews you are mad.

Lady Ward

If I am mad, I suck’d the madness from your brest.

Nurse Iii2r 219

Nurse Caref

I do confess, Child, I have not had those mad vagaries since
I gave suck, as I had before.

Lady Ward

’Tis a signe you are grown old, Nurse.

Nurse Caref

I confess, Youth is oftner mad than Age; but dear Child
tell me, art thou mad?

Lady Ward

Prethee Nurse, lest thou shouldst become mad, goe sleep to
settle thy thoughts, and quiet thy mind, for I remember a witty Poet, one
Doctor Don, saith,

Sleep is pains easie salve, and doth fulfil

All Offices, unless it be to kill.

Nurse Careful cries out, as in a great fright.

Nurse Caref

O Heavens, what shall I do, what shall I do!

Enter Doctor Practice.

Doctor Pract

What is the matter Nurse, what is the matter you shreek
out so?

Nurse Caref

O Doctor, my Child is mad, my Child is mad; for she repeats
Verses.

Doctor Pract

That’s an ill signe indeed.

Lady Ward

Doctor, did you never repeat Latine Sentences when you
have read Lectures, nor Latine Verses, when you did Dispute in Schools?

Doctor Pract

Yes, Sweet Lady, a hundred times.

Lady Ward

Lord, Doctor, have you been mad a hundred times, and recovered
so often!

Nurse Caref

Those were Latine Verses, those were Latine Verses Child.

Doctor Pract

Faith Lady you pose me.

Lady Ward

Then Doctor go to School again, or at least return again to
the University and study again, and then practice not to be posed.

Doctor Pract

Nurse, she is not well, she must be put to a diet.

Lady Ward

But why, Doctor, should you think me mad? I have done no
outragious action; and if all those that speak extravagantly should be put
to a diet, as being thought mad, many a fat waste would shrink in the doublet,
and many a Poetical vein would be dryed up, and the flame quench’d out
for want of radical oyl to prolong it; Thus Wit would be starved, for want
of vapour to feed it; The truth is, a spare diet may make room in a Scholars
head for old dead Authors to lie in; for the emptyer their heads are of wit,
the fuller they may be fill’d with learning; for I do imagine, old dead Authors
lie in a Scholars head, as they say souls do, none knows where, for a
million of souls to lie in as small a compass as the point of a needle.

Doctor Pract

Her brain is hotly distemper’d, and moves with an extraordinary
quick motion, as may be perceiv’d by her strange fancy: wherefore
Nurse you had best get her to bed, if you can, and I will prescribe some medicine
and rules for her.

Nurse Caref

Come sweet child, let me put thee to bed.

Lady Ward

I will go to bed, if you would have me, but good Nurse
believe me, I am not mad; it’s true, the force of my passion hath made my
Reason to erre; and though my Reason hath gone astray, yet it is not lost:
But consider well Nurse, and tell me what noble minde can suffer a base servitude
without rebellious passions. But howsoever, since they are of this opinion,
I am content to cherish it, if you approve of it; for if I seem mad, Iii2 the Iii2v 220
the next of my kindred will beg the keeping of me for the sake of my Estate;
and I had rather lose my Estate, and be thought mad, than lose my
honour in base offices, and my free-born liberty to be inslaved to whores;
and though I do not fear my honest youth can be corrupted by ill example,
yet I will not have my youth a witness to wicked and base vice.

Nurse Caref

By no means, I do not approve of these strange wayes; besides,
you are a Ward to a gallant man, and may be Mariage will alter his
humour; for most commonly those back-holders that are the greatest Libertines,
make the best Husbands.

Lady Ward

’Tis true, he is of a noble nature, valiant and generous, prudent,
and just, and temperate in all delights, and free from all other vices
but Incontinency, civil and obliging to all the world, but to me, and I could
love him better than life, could he be constant, and only love me as he ought
to do a Wife; otherwise, Death were more pleasing to me.

Exeunt.

Scene 10.

Enter the Lady Contemplation musing, and the Lady
Visitant
comes to her.

Lady Contempl

You were born to do me a mischief.

Lady Visit

Why how?

Lady Contempl

Why you have routed an Army.

Lady Visit

Which way?

Lady Contempl

I did imagine my self Married, my Husband being a General
of an Army, who had fought many Battels, and had won many Victories,
conquer’d many Nations, at last an unfortunate day of Battel being
fought, my Husband being too active and venturous, making lanes of slain
bodies as he went, and his horse riding thorow Rivers of blood, those Rivers
rising so high, as his horse was forced to swim; but the blood growing
thick to a jelly, obstructed his way, which made his horse furious, which
fury added to his strength, forced a passage over a hill, or heap of slain bodies;
but the horses spirits being spent with fury and labour, fell strengthless
to the ground, with my Husband upon his back; and being in the midst
of his Enemies Army, his Enemies seeing him fall, ran about him in great
numbers, and so took him prisoner: whereupon his Souldiers soon missing
him, thought he was kill’d; upon which belief, their courages grew cold,
their limbs unactive, and their spirits so benumm’d, as they all seemed like
to a number of stone-statues; which unactive dulness gave their Enemies
the Day without any after-blows. I being in the Camp, hearing of my
Husbands misfortunes, ran with a distracted fear towards the Enemies
Camp; I being espy’d by some of my Husbands satter’d Troops, was stop’d
in the way, and so brought back to my Tent again; where, when I was there,
some of my Husbands Officers of the Army told me, That though the Day
was lost, yet there was a considerable Body left; which I no sooner heard,
but my spirits took new life, and then excusing my fear, told those Comanders
it was not through fear that made me run out of my Tent; for I did not Kkk1r 212221
not fly from my Enemies, but to them, and that I sought death, and not
life; and to express my courage, I told them, That if they would give me
leave, I would take my Husbands Office, and lead the Army: They told
me, that if the rest of the Commanders would agree to it, they were well
contented: So when all the Commanders met together, I spake thus unto
them

“Noble Friends, and valiant Souldiers, you may think it a vain ambition
for me to desire to lead your Army, especially against so potent an Enemy,
and being a woman, which female Sex are usually unexperienced in Martial
Affairs, as also by nature fearful, which fears may ruine an Army, by giving
wrong direction, causing a confusion through distraction; and truly an
Army were not to be trusted unto a womans management and ordering, if
that Records had not given us Precedents, which is, that Women have led
Armies, have fought valiantly themselves, and have had good success, and
not so much by fortunes favour, as by their own wise Conduct: And to
shew that Pallas is a friend unto her own Sex, is, that in all History, there
are very few women that can be found, that have lost Battels in the field of
Wars, but many that have won Battels; and in all publick Affairs it is to
be observed, the Gods do generally assist our Sex, whereby to shew their
own power, and to abate the haughty pride of men. But to induce you
more; for men trust not so much unto the Gods, as to their own strength,
is, that you are present in all Councels and Actions, to assist and direct me;
besides, I am Wife unto your General, who was and is an expert Souldier,
and a valiant man, although he now had ill fortune; but ill fortune neither
lessens valour nor experience, but rather increases them. This gallant and
wise man, my Husband and your General, his Discourses have been my
Tutors, and his Example hath and shall be my Guide; and if you dare
trust me, I dare venture; otherwise I shall stay in my Tent, and pray for
your good success.”
After I had left off speaking, an old Commander which
had served long in the Wars, and was much esteemed, answered me as
thus

“Noble Lady, although your youth doth disswade us, yet your beauty and
wit doth encourage us; for what man, although he were possest with fear
it self, can run away when a fair Lady fights? for beauty triumphs in all
hearts, and commands the whole world: wherefore that man that shall
or will deny to follow your Command, is of a bastard-kind, although a
lawful Issue.”
With that all the rest of the Commanders cry’d or call’d out,
that none was so fit to Lead and Command them as I. Thus being chosen,
I call’d a general Muster of my Souldiers, and then gave order that some of
the broken Regiments should be mended and made up with other broken
Regiments, also I made new Officers in the room of those that were slain
or taken prisoners, and after, I surveyed my Artillery and Ammunition;
which done, I drew my Army into a Body, and after I had given Orders
and Directions for the Souldiers to march towards the Enemies Camp,
which when the Enemy heard of a new Army coming towards them, they
drew out the Body of their Army in Battel Array: But I shunn’d to fight so
soon as appeared, by reason my Army was tyred with marching; wherefore
I gave order to Intrench: Besides I thought it might give my souldiers
more courage, when accustomed to the sight and neighbourhood of the
Enemies: But withall, I made some of them give intelligence to the Enemy
that a woman led the Army, by which they might despise us, and so becomeKkk come Kkk1v 222
more negligent, by which negligence we might have an advantage:
In the mean time I sent to Treat of a Peace, and to have my Husband set at
liberty; but the Enemy was so averse to a peace, as they returned me both
jesting and scornful Answers: So when I saw no peace could be made, I
drew out my Army into Battel Array; which when the Enemy perceiv’d,
they did the like; but it will be too tedious at this time to tell the Form and
Figures I put my Army into, as also what Commanders led, or who commanded
the Horse, or who commanded the Foot that day; only let me tell you,
I led the Van my self, and was Accoutred after this manner: I had a Masculine
Suit, and over that a cloth of silver Coat, made close to my waste,
which reached to the ankles of my legs; and those Arms I wore being all
gilt, were Back, Brest, Gorget, Pot and Gantlet, all being made light according
as my strength would bear: In my hand I carried my Sword; for being
not accustomed, I could not wear a sword by my side, as men do, but
whensoever rested, I tyed it to my Saddle-bow, and on my Head-piece I
wore a great Plume of Feathers: As for my Horse, he was cole-black, only
a white star on his fore-head, and three white feet; my Saddle was crimson
Velvet, but so imbroidred with silver and gold, as the ground could
not be seen: But when I was mounted, I spoke as following unto the common
souldiers.

“Worthy Friends, and laborous, and valiant Souldiers, you may justly wonder
to see a Woman thus Accoutred like a man, and being one of the tender
female Sex to be arm’d as a souldier, and in a posture to fight a Battel:
Also you may fear the successe of my Command, by reason I am young,
and unexperienced, as also unpracticed in the Wars: But fear not, the gods
are with me, and will assist me, and have promised to give you victory by
my Conduct; for they will conduct me: But the Gods suffer’d the other
Battel to be lost, because many Victories had made you proud, and conceited
of your selves, and your own valours, trusting more to your own strength,
than to their favours or powers, whereupon the Gods destroy’d many of
you; but since they have taken pity of you, drawn to it by your humility,
whereupon the Gods have commanded me to Lead and Conduct you; and
they have also commanded me to tell you, That it you trust in them, and
fight couragiously, that you shall have Victory, and rich Spoils;”
for I heard
the common people, of which common souldiers were of, were apt to be superstitious,
and to believe in any new reports, as also to believe in Miracles,
Prophecies, and the like, and withall, very covetous; all which, made me
feign my self to be commanded immediately from the Gods, and to be sent
as from the Gods to command them, and to declare such promises to them;
for all the common souldiers fight for Spoils, not for Honour.

Lady Visitant

O but it is not good to dissemble.

Lady Contempl

Pardon me; for without policy (which is deceit) there
can be neither government in peace or war: wherefore it is a vertue in a
States-man, or a Commander, to be a dissembler, although it be a vice in any
other man; but you have put me out as you always do, and therefore I
will tell you no more.

Lady Visitant

Nay, pray make an end.

Lady Contempl

I will not; but I could have told you how I kill’d the General
of the Enemy with my own hand, and how I releas’d my Husband, and
of such gallant Acts as you never heard the like of.

Lady Visitant

O pray tel me.

Lady Kkk2r 223

Lady Contempl

Which if I do, let me never contemplate more, which
would be worse than death to me, by reason it is the onely pleasure of
my life.

Exeunt.

Act III.

Scene. 11.

Enter Poor Vertue alone.

Poor Vertue

O Love, though thou art bred within the Soul, yet by the
Senses thou art begotten, or else by some Opinions; for Virtue is but
the Tutor, or Guide, for to instruct or lead thee in a perfect way; but
though I lead Love right, yet may it meet Opposers.

Exit.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and Doctor Practice.

Lord Courts

How do you find my Ward?

Doctor Pract

Truly she is somewhat distemper’d; for her wit is very
quick.

Lord Courts

That’s it; for she being naturally of a dull disposition, and
of a milde humour, and her brain slow of conceits, as also unpractis’d in
speaking, should of a sudden fall into high raptures.

Doctor Pract

You say true, my Lord, and it is to be fear’d this distemper
will increase.

Lord Courts

Pray Doctor have a regard and care to her distemper; for
I would not willingly have a Wife that is more mad than natural women
are.

Exeunt.

Scene 13.

Enter the Lord Title, and Master Inquirer.

Lord Title

She is not here.

Enter Poor Virtue, with a sheephook in her hand.

Lord Title

O yonder she comes.

Master Inqui

She hath a garb not like a Farmers Maid, but rather one Kkk2 that’s Kkk2v 224
that’s nobly born, and her garments, though mean, fit neatly on her body.

Master AdviserInquirer goeth to her.

Fair Shepherdess, it is a melancholy life you lead.

Poor Virtue

It is a course of life suits best to my condition.

Master Inqui

You may change this condition if you please.

Poor Virtue

I had rather lie honoured in death, than by dishonour raised
to glorious state of life.

Master Inqui

But here you live like a creature not produced by mankind,
amongst beasts, having no conversation by discourse.

Poor Vir

Want of Speech makes not beasts beasts, but want of Reason,
; want of Reason makes a man a beast; and speech rather disturbs than benefits
the life, when silence and pure thoughts make men like Angels, whereas
speech sometimes expresses men like Devils, blaspheming Heaven and God,
fomenting factions amongst their kind, betraying trust & friendship, cozening
innocency, flattering vice, reproaching virtue, and with distractions strives to
pull down honour from its seat; where silence refines the thoughts, elevates
the fancy, quickens wit, strengthens judgment, allays anger, sweetens
melancholy, and collects the Reason.

Master Inqui

Thou art a wonder, and for this one Speech I doe adore
thee.

Poor Virtue

I should be sorry so worthy a person, and so noble a Gentleman
as you seem to be, should adore my Speech, when it might be chance that did
produce it, and not wit or judgment.

Master Inqui

Thy Speech is like to Orpheus Harp, it charms all ears that
hear it.

Poor Virtue

I wish my Speech were like a Loadstone, to draw the iron
hearts of men to pity and compassion, to charity and devotion.

Poor Virtue offers to be gone.

Lord Title

Pray stay and choose me for your Love, and let me go along
with you.

Poor Virtue

An Amorous Lover, as I believe your Lordship is, never
walks in sober pace, nor hath a constant and assur’d minde; for Amorous
Lovers run with might and main, as if desires were catch’d with haste.

Poor Virtue goes out, Lord Title follows her. Master Inquirer alone.

Master Inqui

I perceive Farmers breed pretty Maids, and honest, as well
as Lambs and Doves, and witty and well-behav’d Maids, as well as Courts
and Cities do. O that I were unmaried, that I might wed this Sweet, Fair
Country-maid!

Enter Mall Mean-bred, with a pail in her hand.

Master Inqui

But stay, here comes another by my troth, a very pretty
Lass, but yet her garments fit not so neat, not becoming, nor is her behaviour
so graceful as the other Maids was. Sweet Mistris!

Mall Mean-bred

Pray keep your jeers to your self, I am no Mistris.

Master Inqui

You may be my Mistris, if you please, and I will be your
servant.

Mall Mean-bred

What to do?

Master Lll1r 225

Master Inqui

What you please.

Mall Mean-bred

I am seldome pleased, and an idle fellow will anger
me more.

Master Inqui

I will be very industrious, if you please to set me to work.

Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother, she falls a beating her.

Maudlin

You idle slut, do you stand loytering here, when it is more than
time the Cows were milk’d?

Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail.

Mall Mean-bred

Go milk them your self with a murrain, since you are
so light-finger’d.

Maudlin

I will milk your sides first.

The Mother goeth to beat her again, Mall Mean-
bred
her daughter runs away from her mother,
she follows her, running to catch her.

Master Inqui

I marry Sir, this is right as a Farmers daughter should be;
but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard,
begot by some Gentleman.

Exeunt.

Scene . 14.

Enter Sir John Argument, and the Lady Conversation.

Lady Conversa

Let me tell you, Sir John Argument, Love delivers up the
whole Soul to the thing beloved; and the truth is, none but one soul can
love another.

Argum

But Justice, Madam, must be the rule of Love; wherefore those
souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn.

Conversat

O no, pure souls may converse without gross bodies.

Argument

Were it not for the Senses, Madam, souls could have no acquaintance,
and without acquaintance, there can be no reciprocal affection;
and will you make the Senses, which are the souls chief confidence, to
be strangers or enemies?

Conversat

I would have them converse, but not interrupt.

Argum

The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with
each other, or otherwise they may dissemble, or betray the souls, or abuse the
trust, loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours; and what
can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies?

Conversat

The Senses and Appetites of the Body, are but as subject to
the Soul.

Argument

But ’tis impossible for Forein Princes, as I will compare
two loving souls unto, can live in peace and mutual amity, if their subjects
disagree.

Lll Enter Lll1v 226 Enter Mistris Troublesome.

Conversat

O Mistris Troublesome, you are welcome; for you shall end the
dispute between Sir John Argument and I.

Troublesome

If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves, I shall never do
it. But what is the Dispute Madam?

Conversat

Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a
reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies?

Troublesome

Faith, Madam, I think it would be a very faint friendship
betwixt the Souls, without the Bodies.

Conversat

I perceive Sir John Argument and you would never make Platonick
Lovers.

Troublesome

Faith, Madam, I think Platonick is a word without sense.

Argument

You say right, Mistris Troublesome, it is an insensible love.

Conversat

It is the Soul of Love.

Troublesome

What’s that, Madam, a Ghost, or Spirit?

Conversat

Indeed it hath no material body.

Argument

No, for it is an incorporal thing.

Troublesome

What is an incorporal thing, Sir John?

Argument

Why, nothing.

Troublesome

Pray leave this discourse, or else you will talk nonsense.

Argument

That’s usual in Conversation.

Conversat

Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request, Pray
tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth?

Troublesome

Faith Madam, by the course of her life one might think she
were an incorporal thing.

Conversat

Why?

Troublesome

Because she makes but little use of her Body, living always
within her Minde.

Conversat

Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of
her thoughts.

Troublesome

Just so, by my Troth.

Conversat

Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation.

Troublesome

If it be possible, I will; but the Lady Visitant can do it better
than I.

Conversat

I am resolv’d I will visit her.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtship

What, is your passion over?

Lady Ward

My passion will strive to maintain my honour, and you
may take my life; but as long as I live, my passion will fight in the quarrel.
But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his
Wife? and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak,
helplesse, and shiftlesse? and what man of honour will be uncivil to the
meanest of our Sex? It is more noble to flatter us, than to quarrel with us, but Lll2r 227
but that I have heard you are valiant, I should think you were a base coward,
and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house, rather than fight
in a Battel: But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Honour,
and Life more than Fame; and I hate to be in that mans company, or
to make a Husband, whose courage lies in Voluptuousness, and his life in
Infamy: I will sooner marry Death, than such a man.

The Lady Ward goes out. Lord Courtship alone.

Lord Courtship

Her words have shot through my soul, and have made a sensible
wound therein. How wisely she did speak! how beautiful appear’d!
Her minde is full of honour, and the actions of her life are built upon noble
principles; so young, so wise, so fair, so chaste, and I to use her so basely
as I have done! O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily!

Exit.

Scene 16.

Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely, and Poor Virtue.

Effemin. Lovely

The more ground is trodden on, the easier the path to
walk in.

Poor Virtue

It seems so, that you visit me so often.

Effem. Lovely

Why, thou art such sweet company, and behav’st thy self
so prettily, as I cannot choose but visit thee.

Poor Virtue

I would, if I could, behave my self so to the world, as my
indiscretion might not defame me.

Effem. Lovely

Why do you think of a Fame?

Poor Virtue

Why not? since fame many times arises from poor Cottages,
as well as from great Palaces; witness the Country labouring-man, that was
taken from the plough, and made an Emperour, as being thought fittest to
rule, both for Justice and Wisedome, and he was more famous than those
that were born of an Heroick Line, and were of Royal dignity; and David a
shepherd, became a King. ’Tis Merit that deserves a fame, not Birth; and
sometimes Merit hath its desert, though but seldome.

Effem. Lovely

Thy discourse would tempt any man.

Poor Virtue

Mistake not my discouse, it hath no such devilish design; for
to tempt, is to pervert: ’Tis true, my Nature takes delight to delight and
please others, and not to crosse or displease any, yet not to tempt, or to de-
flawed-reproduction1 letteride with counterfeit demeanors, or fair insinuating words, smooth speech,
or oiled tongue, to draw from Virtues side, but to perswade and plead in
Virtues cause.

Effem. Lovely

Thy very looks would gain a cause, before thy tongue could
plead.

Poor Virtue

Alas! mans countenance is like the Sea, which ebbs and flows
as passion moves the minde.

Effem. Lovely

I am sure Love moves my minde, and makes it in a fiery
heat.

Lll2 Poor Lll2v 228

Poor Virtue

If it be noble Love, it is like the Sun, which runs about to give
both light and heat to all the world, that else would sit in darknesse, and be
both cold and sterile; so doth a noble minde run with industry to help those
in distresse, his bounty heats, his counsel and advice gives light.

Effem. Lovely

I love you so much, Sweet-heart, that since you will not be
my Mistris, you shall be my Wife.

Poor Virtue

Indeed I will not.

Effem. Lovely

Will you refuse me?

Poor Virtue

Yes.

Effem. Lovely

Wherefore?

Poor Virtue

Because I know, though you may use me well at first, after a
time you’l be divorc’d.

Effem. Lovely

I will never part from thee.

Poor Virtue

O yes but you will, for youth and beauty most commonly
are inconstant; for vain ambition, and flattering praises, corrupt that mind
that lives therein, and is pleased therewith.

Poor Vertue goes out. Effeminate Lovely alone.

Effem. Lovely

Well, I will become a new man, and cast off all vanity
and study Moral Philosophy, to gain this Maid; for then perchance she will
love me.

Exit.

Scene 17.

Enter Lady Conversation, and Sir Vain Complement.

Lady Conversat

Complements are the worst sort of Conversation, for
they are not sociable; besides, Truth holds no intelligence nor correspondence
with them.

Sir Vain Compl

Truth is no Complement as flattery, and I speak nothing
but what truth hath dictated to my tongue.

Lady Conversat

Those praises you gave me were writ by speech, in so fine
a style of Eloquence, with such flouriing Letters of words, as I cannot
believe but that custome of self-conceited wit or passion, hath given the
Scribe, which is the Tongue, a bribe to flatter me.

Enter the Lady Contemplation, and Mistris Troublesome, to the Lady Conversation,
and Sir Vain Commplement.

Lady Conversat

This is a wonder to see you, Lady Contemplation, abroad.
I doubt it doth Prognosticate some change of Fortune, pray Jove it be
good.

Lady Contempl

All the ill will fall on me, Madam.

Mistris Troubles

Nay, saith Madam, she accounts company a worse fortune
than the ruine of a Kingdome, and you cannot conceive with what difficulty
I have got her abroad; for at first I did perswade her with all the Rheto- Mmm1r 229
Rhetorick I had, and pleaded with as powerful arguments as I could finde,
anyd promised more than I was able to perform, and nothing of this could
get her forth, until I told her I would bring your Ladyship to visit her, and
that forced her out; for she said, she would rather trouble you, than you
should trouble her.

Lady Conversat

Faith, Contemplation, thou art only fit to keep beasts company;
for what difference is there betwixt beasts and men, but Conversation.

Lady Contempl

Indeed beasts want that folly of idle Conversation, and
the error of speaking, as much as the vanity of dressing, and the custome of
dissembling; for they spend their time more prudently, quietly, easily, honestly,
so more happily; and if it were for no other reason than speaking, I
had rather be a beast, than of mankinde.

Lady Conversat

O fie, O fie, you are a beastly Lady.

Lady Contempl

No, Madam, beasts have no false Titles of Honour, their
honour lives in their natures, not in their names.

Lady Conversat

Who that may choose, or have their liberty, would spend
their time in idle thoughts?

Lady Contempl

All that are wise, and would be happy; for should not we
think that man were mad, that leaves a peaceful habitation, and thrusts himself
in forein broyls? or should not we think a King were most unjust, that
makes his peaceful and obedient subjects slaves to strange Princes? The
Mind’s a Common-wealth, and the Thoughts are the Citizens therein, and
Reason rules as King, or ought to doe: But there is no reason we should
vex our Thoughts with outward things, or make them slaves unto the
world.

Lady Conversat

But thoughts would want imployment, were it not for the
world, and idlenesse were worse than slavish toyls.

Lady Contempl

The thoughts, without the worlds materials, can Create
millions of worlds, only with the help of Imagination.

Lady Conversat

Then your Minde and the World are meer strangers.

Lady Contempl

I say not so; for though the World draws not my Minde
to wander up and down, yet my Minde draws the World to it, then pensils
out each several part and piece, and hangs that Landskip in my Brain, on
which my thoughts do view with Judgments eyes. Thus the world is in my
Minde, although my Minde is not in the world.

Lady Conversat

Then you inchant the world?

Lady Contempl

I had rather inchant the world, than the world should inchant
me.

Lady Conversat

If the Minde be a Common-wealth, as you said even now
it was, Pray tell me of what degree the Passions are of?

Lady Contempl

They are the Nobles thereof, and Magistrates therein; each
several Passion still governs in its turn and office.

Lady Conversat

And what are the Appetites?

Lady Contemp

The Appetites are none of the Mind’s Citizens, but they
are an unruly Rout that dwell in the Senses, which are the Suburbs of the
Body: Indeed the Appetites are the Out Lawries, and doe oft-times much
hurt with their disorders, insomuch as they, many times, disturb the mindes
tranquillity, and peace. But, Madam, lest the appetite of talking should disturb
the Mind, I shall kiss your Ladyships hand, and leave you to those that
are more delightful and pleasanter company than I am.

Mmm Exit. Mmm1v 230

Mistris Trouble

Lady Conversation, I perceive you and Sir Vain Complement
are grown dull with the Lady Contemplations company.

Lady Conversat

Mercury defend me from her; for I would not keep her
company for Joves Mansion.

Vain Compl

And Cupid defend me from her; for I would not be bound to
Court her for the Favours Venus gives to Mars.

Conversat

Lord what a dull piece of gravity she is!

Vain Compl

She looks as if she convers’d with none but Ghosts and Spirits,
walking in Moon-shine, and solitary and dismal places.

Conversat

Let us talk of her no more; for I am so far from keeping her
acquaintance, as I hate to hear her nam’d.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courtship

My Sweet, Fair Maid, I cannot hope thy Pardon, for my
crimes are not only great, but many; for I have not only us’d you unkindly,
uncivilly, ungentlemanly, which are vices and crimes that Cankerfret
the Fame of Honour, and burie all noble qualities; but I have used
you barbarously, cruelly, and inhumanly, which are sins sufficient to annihilate
all the Masculine Race; and surely, if there be that we call Justice in
Nature, it will, unless thy virtue redeem them, and save them with thy pity:
wherefore, for the sake of the generality, though not for my particular, pardon
me. Thus will you become a Deity to your whole Sex and ours.

Lady Ward

I am sure your Lordship is a particular punishment to me,
which Heaven send me quit of.

She goes out, he follows her.

Act IV.

Scene. 19.

Enter Sir Fancy Poet, and the Lady Contemplation.

Sir Fan. Poet

Lady, you smother your thoughts, and stifle your conception
in the close Closet of Study.

Lady Contempl

No Sir, I only keep them warm, being tender and weak.

Sir Fan. Poet

They will grow stronger in the Air of Conversation; but
when continually kept close in the Chamber of Contemplation, they will be
apt to fall into many several diseases, as melancholy Opinions, and extravagant
Fancies, which may over-heat the minde, and fire the thoughts: wherefore
Lady let me give you Counsel.

Lady Contempl

What Counsel would you give me? as a Lawyer, or Physician?

Sir Mmm2r 231

Sir Fan. Poet

As a Physician.

Lady Contempl

For the Body, or the Minde?

Sir Fan. Poet

For the Minde.

Lady Contempl

The Physicians for the Minde are Divines.

Sir Fan. Poet

No, the best physicians for the Minde are Poets.

Lady Contempl

How will you prove that?

Sir Fan. Poet

By Example and Skill; for when the Minde is raging mad,
Poets, with gentle perswasions, in smooth numbers, and soft musick, cure
it; and when the Mind is despairing, Poets draw hopes into numbers, which
beats out the doubtful Foe: And for Example.

David with his Poetical Inspirations, and Harpsical harmonious Musick,
allay’d the ill Spirit, and raging passion of Saul; for Poets take from the
sweet Spring of Nature, an Oil of Love, and from Heaven, the Balsom of
Mercy, and pour them through golden numbers, and pipes of wit, into the
fester’d wounds of despair; when oft-times Divines, in stead of suppling
Oil, pour in corroding Vitriol, and in stead of healing Balsoms, pour in
burning Sulphure, which are terrifying threats, and fearful menaces: wherefore
Lady, let me advise you as a Poetical Physician, to keep your minde
cool, and your thoughts in equal temper; wherefore in order thereto, when
the minde is wrapt in the mantle of Imagination, if it finds it self very hot
therewith, let it lay that mantle by, and bathe it self in the fresh, clear, pure
Rivers of Discoure.

Lady Contempl

By your favour, Sir, for the most part, the Minde becomes
hotter with the motion of the tongue, than the mantle of Imagination; for
when the tongue hath liberty, it runs wildly about, and draggs the minde after
it; and rather than I will have my minde dragg’d and hurried about by
my unruly tongue, which will neither endure the bit of Reason, not the bridle
of Discretion, but runs beyond all sense, I will tye up my tongue with the
cords of silence, in the stable of the mouth, and pull down the Port-cullis of
the teeth before it, and shut the doors of my lips upon it. Thus shall it
be treble lock’d, and kept with the Key of Judgment, and the Authority of
Prudence.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter the Lady Conversation, and a Grave Matron.

Lady Conversat

Did you hear him say he had layn with me?

Matron

Yes, Madam.

Lady Conversat

O the wicked, base vain-glory of men, to bely the pure
chastity of a woman! But surely he did not plainly express so much in clear
words, as by nods, winks, shrugs, dark sentences, or broken discourses?

Matron

He said plainly, he had layn with you in an unlawful manner.

Lady Conversat

Fates assist me in revenge; for it is no dishonour to be reveng’d
of a base person, that hath maliciously slander’d me, or vain-gloriously
injur’d me.

Matron

Revenge is against the Laws of Honour, Madam.

Lady Conversat

It may be against the Tenets of some particular Religion,Mmm2 gion, Mmm2v 232
or religious Opinions. But a noble revenge is the ground or foundation
of Heriock Honour.

Matron

But what do you call a Noble Revenge?

Lady Conversat

First, to be an open Enemy, as to declare the enmity;
next, to declare their endeavour to prosecute to the utmost of their power,
either their Enemies Estate, Liberty, and Life; whereas a base Revenger is
to dissemble, in professing they have forgotten and forgiven their injury, and
pardon’d their Enemy, yet under-hand and disguisedly endeavour to do their
Enemy a great mischief. Not but an honourable Revenger may choose their time
for executing their revenge; but they must declare they will be revenged before
they execute their revenge, and let their Enemies stand upon their
Guard.

Matron

But a revengeful woman is not good.

Lady Conversat

Why not, as well as a revengeful man? For why may
not a woman revenge her scandaliz’d honour as well as a man? Is there any
reason why it should be a dishonour for a man to pass by a disgrace, and for
a woman to revenge her disgrace? Is it not as great a blemish to the honour
of a woman, to be said to be unchaste, as for a man to be said to be a Coward?
And shall a woman only sit and weep over her lost honour, whilest a
man fights to regain his? And shall it be thought no dishonour for a man
to pistol, or at least bastonade another man for an injury, or an affront receiv’d
and a fault for a woman to do, or cause to be done the like? Must
women only sit down with foolish patience, and endure wrong, when men
may execute revenge with fury? These were both injustice, and an unjust
act of Education to our Sex; as also it would be an unjust sentence, not only
from men, but from the Gods, since neither Gods nor men will suffer injury,
wrong, or dishonour, without revenge: But if Gods, Men, and Education
should be so unjust to our Sex, yet there is no Reason in Nature we
should be so unjust to our selves: But for my part, as I am constant to an
honest friend, and can easily forgive an honourable Enemy, so I can never
forgive a malicious Foe, nor forget a vain-glorious bragging fool, or false
slandring knave, but will persecute them to the utmost of my power, and the
weight of my revenge should be according to the pressure of my injury, or
dishonour.

Matron

But let me tell you, Madam, those that brag are seldome believ’d,
and there is none that believe these vain bragging Ranters; for it’s
well known, that all Ranters are idle deboyst persons, and do usually belye
the most Honourable and Chaste Ladies, for which all worthy persons hate
them, and account them so base, as they will shun their companies; no
man of honour will come near them, unless it be to beat them. But if you
appear to the world as concerned, you may raise those doubts which would
never have been raised, had you took no notice thereof.

Lady Conversat

Indeed Disputes raise doubts; wherefore I will not bring
it into a Dispute, but take your Counsel, and take no notice of it.

Matron

You will do wisely, Lady.

Exeunt.
Scene Nnn1r 233

Scene. 21.

Enter Sir Golden Riches to Poor Virtue.

Sir Gold. Rich

I wish my tongue as smooth as oil, to make my words as
soft as Air, that they may spread about your heart, there intermixd
with your affection.

Poor Virtue

Words cannot win my love, no more than wealth, nor is my
heart subject to those infections.

Sir Gold. Rich

I will build thee Palaces of burnish’d gold, where thou
shalt be worshipd whilest thou livest, and when thou diest, I will erect a Monument
more famous than Mausolus’s was.

Poor Verrtue

My Virtue shall build me a Monument far richer, and more
lasting; for the materials with which it shall be built, shall be try’d Chastity,
as pure Gold, and Innocency, as Marble white, and Constancy, as undissolving
Diamonds, and Modesty, as Rubies red, Love shall the Altar be,
and Piety, as Incense sweet, ascend to Heaven, Truth, as the Oil, shall feed
the Lamp of Memory, whereby the flame of Fame shall never goe out.

Exit. Sir Golden Riches alone.

Sir Gold. Rich

And is She gone? are Riches of no force? Then I wil bury
my self within the bowels of the Earth, so deep, that men shall never reach
me, nor Light shall find me out.

Exit.

Scene 22.

Enter Mistris Messenger, and the Lady Amorous’s woman,
and Lord Courtship.

Mistris Messenger

My Lord, My Lady, the Lady Amourous, remembers
her Service to you, and sent me to tell you her Husband is gone out
of Town, and She desires to have the happiness of your company.

Lord Courtship

Pray present my Service in the humblest manner to your
Lady, and pray her to excuse me; for though I cannot say I am sick, yet I
am far from being well.

Mistris Messen

I shall, my Lord.

Exeunt.
Nnn Scene Nnn1v 234

Scene 23.

Enter the Lord Title, and then enters a Servant to him.

Servant

My Lord, there is an old man without desires to speak with
you.

Lord Title

Direct him hither.

Servant goes out. Enter Old Humanity.

Lord Title

Old man, what have you to say to me?

Old Humanity

I am come to desire your Lordship not to persecute a poor
young Maid, one that is friendless, and your Lordship is powerful, and
therefore dangerous.

Lord Title

What poor Maid do you mean?

Old Human

A Maid call’d Poor Virtue.

Lord Title

Do you know her?

Old Human.

Yes.

Lord Title

Are you her Father?

Old Human

No, I am her servant, and have been maintain’d by her Noble
Family these threescore years, and upwards.

Lord Title

Ha, her Noble Family! what, or who is She?

Old Humanity

She is a Lady, born from a Noble Stock, and hath been
choisely bred, but ruin’d by misfortunes, which makes her poorly serve.

Lord Title

Alas he weeps! Who were her Parents?

Old Human

The Lord Morality, and the Lady Piety.

Lord Title

Sure it cannot be: But why should I doubt? her Beauty, Wit,
and sweet Demeanour, declares her Noble Pedigree: the Lord Morality
was a Famous man, and was a great Commander, and wise in making
Lawes, and prudent for the Common Good: He was a Staff and Prop unto
the Common-wealth, til Civil Wars did throw it down, where he fell
under it. But honest friend, how shall I know this for a truth?

Old Human

Did not your Lordship hear he had a Child?

Lord Title

Yes that I did, and only Daughter.

Old Human

This is She I mention, and if Times mend, will have her Fathers
Estate, as being her Fathers Heir; but to prove it, and her Birth, I will
bring all those servants that liv’d with her, and with her Father, and all his
Tenants, that will witness the truth.

Lord Title

When I consider, and bring her and her Actions to my minde,
I cannot doubt the truth, and for the news, thou shalt be my Adopted Father,
and my Bosome-friend; I’ll be a staff for thy Old Age to lean upon, my
shoulders shall give strength unto thy feeble limbs, and on my neck shalt lay
thy restless head,.

Old Human

Heaven bless you, and I shall serve you as my Old Age will
give me leave.

Exit Lord Title, leading him forth.
Scene Nnn2r 235

Scene 24.

Enter Lord Courtship, and the Lady Ward.

Lord Courts

Thou Celestial Creature, do not believe that I am so presumptuous
to ask thy love, I only beg thy pardon, that when my body
lies in the silent grave, you give my restless soul a pass, and leave to walk amongst
sad Lovers in dark and gloomy shades; and though I cannot weep
to shew my penitence, yet I can bleed.

He offers her a Dagger.

Here, take this Instrument of Death, for only by your hands I wish to die.

Give me as many Wounds as Pores in skin,

That I may bleed sufficient for my sin.

Lady Ward

It seems strange to me, that you, a wise man, or at least accounted
so, should fall into such extreams, as one while to hate me to death,
and now to profess to love me beyond life!

Lord Courts

My Debaucheries blinded my Judgment, nor did I know
thy worth, or my own errour, until thy wise wit gave the light to my dark
understanding, and you have drawn my bad life, and all my unworthy actions
therein, so naturally in your discourse, as now I view them, I do hate my
self as much as you have cause to hate me.

Lady Ward

I only hate your Crimes, but for those excellent Qualities,
and true Virtues that dwell in your Soul, I love and honour; and if you
think me worthy to make me your Wife, and will love me according as my
honest life will deserve your affections, I shall be proud of the Honour, and
thank Fortune or Heaven for the Gift.

Lord Courts

Sure you cannot love me, and the World would condemn
you if you should, and all your Sex will hate you.

Lady Ward

The World many times condemns even Justice her self, and
women for the most part, hate that they should love and honour.

Lord Courts

But can you love me?

Lady Ward

I can, and do love you.

Lord Courts

How happy am I, to enjoy a world of Beauty, Wit, Virtue,
and sweet Graces.

Leads her forth. Exeunt.
Nnn2 Scene Nnn2v 236

Scen.e 25.

Enter the Lord Title, and Roger Farmer, and Maudlin
Huswife
his Wife.
This Scene was written
by the Lord Marquiss
of Newcastle.

Lord Title

Honest Roger and Maudlin, I present
you with a kind Good-morrow.

Roger

Present me? Bless your Lordship, I should
present you with a couple of Capons.

Lord Title

’Tis a salutation when you salute; but how do you then?

Roger

Very well, I thank your Honour: How do you?

Lord Title

Well, enough of Complements, I am come with a Petition
to you.

Roger

What is that, if’t please your Honour?

Lord Title

A Sute.

Roger

Byrlaken I have need of one, for I have but poor and bare cloathing
on.

Lord Title

No, Roger, it is a request and desire I have you should grant.

Roger

Grant, or to Farm let, no Sir, I will not part with my Lease.

Lord Title

Roger, you understand me not, therefore let me speak with
Maudlin your Wife.

Roger

There she is Sir, spare her not, for she is good metal I’ll warrant
your Honour; wipe your lips Maudlin, and answer him every time that he
moves thee, and give him as good as he brings: Maudlin, were he twenty
Lords, hold up your head, Maudlin, be not hollow.

Maudlin

I’ll warrant you Husband, I’ll satisfie him.

Lord Title

Honest Maudlin.

Maudlin

That’s more than your Lordship knows.

Lord Title

Why then Maudlin.

Maudlin

That’s my name indeed.

Lord Title

You have a maid here in your house.

Maudlin

I hope so forsooth; but I will not answer for no Virgin in this
wicked world.

Roger

Well said Maudlin; Nay your Honour will get nothing of my
Maudlin, I’ll warrant you.

Lord Title

Well, this supposed Maid is Poor Virtue, that’s her name, I desire
you will let her live with me, this Poor Virtue.

Maudlin

God bless your Honour from her, it is not fit for a Lord, and a
great Noble-man to meddle with Virtue, your Honour should not foul your
fingers with her: Besides, she will never stay in a great mans house, neither
is it fit she should; and your Honours servants will hate her like the Devil
for she will please no body as she should do, a very peevish, ill-natur’d girl
forsooth she is.

Lord Title

Why how doth she agree then with you?

Maudlin

Alas forsooth, if it please your Honour, Virtue may live in a
Cottage, when she will be whipt out of a Court, or a great Lords Palace,
they may talk of her, but they will never give her leave to live and board
with them: It may be they give their Chaplain leave to talk of her a Sundays,
or so forsooth, but talk’s but talk, for they forget her the six days after and Ooo1r 237
and never mind her; for indeed she is a very peevish girle, and not fit for
Gentlefolks company, that’s the truth of it, hardly for poor folks.

Lord Title

Why you agree well with her?

Maudlin

Nay by the faith of my body do I not; for I can hardly goe to
Market, and be merry, as I use to be, and all long of her peevishnesse: nay I
cannot goe to order one of our busie Thrashers, but she troubles me; or to
speak with the Carter, but she whips in presently; or discourse with the
Plough-man about his plough-share, how he should order it for my advantage,
but she troubles me; or about our Husbandman, how and where he
should sow his Seed, but she vexes me still Such a life, the Gods help me,
as I am e’en weary of my self. Speak Roger, is it not true?

Roger

True Maudlin as steel, I never was merry since she was in my house;
the May pole is down since she came.

Maudlin

I Roger that ’tis, the more the pity.

Roger

And the Towns Green is a Meadow, and the poor Bag-pipers cheeks
are fallen into a Consumption, hardly wind to speak withall; the Morris-dancers
bells are silenc’d, and their crosse garters held superstitious, idolatrous,
and profane; the May-Lord and his Lady depos’d, and the Hobby-horse is
forgotten; nay the Whitson-Lord and Lady are banish’d, Merry Wakes abolish’d,
and the poor Ale-wives beggar’d,.

Maudlin

I, I, and all since this melancholy girle Virtue came into our
house.

She cries.

I cannot choose but cry.

Lord Title

Thou art true Maudlin then.

Maudlin

Yes, with small beer, that’s the calamity of it; therefore blesse
every good subject from so melancholy a thing as this girle Virtue is: But
we have a Daughter, and it please your Honours worship, that will give you
good content, and please most of your Houshold; for she is a lusty Wench,
though I say’t that should not say’t: Did you but see her swim like a Tench
on our Town-green, incircling the May-pole, and at the end of a Horn-pipe,
when she is to be kiss’d, how modestly she wryes her head away, but so as to
be civil; nay she hath been well Educated, my own natural Daughter, for indeed
Roger, I was with Child with her before you maried me.

Roger

Peace Maudlin, all Truths are not to be spoken of; for should that
be, many a Worshipful Person would be very angry; but our Vicar made
all well betwixt thee and me, Maudlin: But I beseech your Honour take my
Daughter, for you will find her another manner of woman than Virtue is,
for she is not like her ifaith, nor any thing that belongs to her, she is better
blest than so.

Lord Title

No, I will have Poor Virtue, or none.

Roger

Faith if you have Virtue, you are sure to have her poor, for I never
knew any of her Family rich, the Gods do not blesse them, I think, in this
world; but if you will have her, take her, shall he not, Maudlin?

Maudlin

Yes, Husband, and the house is well rid of her, and let us bless
our selves for it; for now we shall be like our Neighbours again, we will
not abate them an hair, the best in the parish shall not live merryer than we
will now for all Sports: Why, Vanity and Sin, Husband, is the Liberty of
the Subject, and the seven Deadly Sins are the Fundamental Laws of the
Kingdome, from the greatest to the least, if poor folks might have their right.
Well, your Honour shall have her, but you will be as weary of her as we
have been, the Gods bless your Honour, but alas you do not know what this Ooo Girl Ooo1v 238
Girle Virtue is, Lords have no guess at her.

Lord Title

Well Maudlin, let me have her, I desire no more.

Maudlin

Nor we neither, if it pleases your Honour, and so the Gods
give you good of her.

Roger

Let me speak to his Honour, Maudlin.

Lord Title

Do so Roger.

Roger

I give yourdship Lordship many thanks.

Lord Title

For what?

Roger

For ridding our house of this troublesome Girl.

Lord Title ,

And I thank you for it too.

Roger

When thanks on all sides happen, we are eas’d.

Lord Title

And I with your Poor Virtue am well pleas’d.
The Lord goes out. As they were going forth, Maudlin speaks.

Maudlin

Mark the end of it, Roger.

Roger

Yes Maudlin, the End Crowns the Work.

Exeunt. Here ends my Lord Marquiss’s Scene.

Act IV.

Scene. 26.

Enter the Lady Visitant to the Lady Contemplation, who
was musing to her self.

Lady Visit

What always musing? Shall I never find thee in a sociable
humour?

Lady Contempl

I would you had come sooner, or stay’d longer away.

Lady Visit

Why prethee?

Lady Contempl

I will tell you: A while since, there came the Muses to
visit me, being all either mad, or drunk, for they toss’d and tumbl’d me, and
rumbl’d me about, from one to the other, as I thought they would a divided
me amongst them: At last came in the Sciences to visit me, with sober
Faces, grave Countenances, stayd and formal Behaviours, and after they had
Saluted me, they began to talk very seriously to me, their Discourse being
Rational, Probable, Wise, Learned, and Experienc’d; but all the while
the Muses would not let me alone, one pull’d me to Dance, another
to Sing, another to play on Musick, others to recite Verses, speak Speeches,
and Act parts of Plays, and the like: Whereupon I gravely turned the incorporal
head of my rational Soul, nodding it to them to be quiet, and let
me alone, but still they playd with me: At last my Thoughts, which are the
language of the Soul, spoke to them, and pray’d them to forbear, until such
time as the Sciences were gone; but they would not be quiet, nor silent, doe what Ooo2r 239
what I could, but would interrupt the Sciences in the midst of their Discourse,
with their idle Rimes, light Fancies, and odd Numbers, insomuch as
the Sciences departed: Whereupon the Muses did rejoyce, and skip, and
run about, as if they had been wilde: And in this jocund humour, in came
the Arts, even a whole Common-wealth; for there were not only Politick
Arts, Civil and Combining Arts, Profitable and necessary Arts, Military
Arts, and Ceremonious Arts; but there were Superstitious Arts, Idolatrous
Arts, false, factious, and mischievous Arts, destructive and wicked
Arts, base and mean Arts, foolish, childish, vain, superfluous and unprofitable
Arts: Upon all these Arts the Muses made good sport; for at some they
flung jests, scorns, and scoffs, and some they stripp’d naked, but to others they
were cruel, for some they flayd their skins off, and others they made very
Skeletons of, dissecting them to the very bones; and the truth is, they spared
not the best of them, but they had one saying or other to them: But
when all the Arts departed, they took me, and carry’d to the Well of Helicon,
and there they threw me in over head and eares, and said they would
Souse me in the Liquor of Poetry; but when I was in the Well, I thought
verily I should have been drown’d, for all my outward Senses were smother’d
and choak’d, for the water did blind my eyes, stop’d my ears and nostrils,
and fill’d my mouth so full, as I had not so much space as to spout it
forth; besides all my body was so numb, as I had no feeling, insomuch, as
when they took me out of this Well of Helicon, into which they had flung
me, I seem’d as dead, being quite senseless: Whereupon they all agreed to
take and carry me up on Parnassus Hill, and to lay me on the top thereof,
that the Poetical Flame, or Heat therein, might dry and warm me; after
which agreement they took me up, every one bearing a part of me, or was
industrious about me, for some carried my Head, others my Legs, some held
my Hands, others imbraced my Waste, another oiled my Tongue, and others
powr’d Spirits into my Mouth, but the worst-natur’d Muse pinch’d
me, to try if I was sensible, or not, and the sweetest and tenderest-natur’d
Muse wept over me, and another was so kind as to kiss me; but when they
had brought me up to the top of the Hill, and laid me thereupon, I felt such
a heat, as if they had laid me on Ætna; but after I had layn some time, I
felt it not so hot, and so less and less, until I felt it like as my natural heat;
just like those that goe into a hot Bathe, at first crie out it is insufferable and
scalding hot, yet with a little use will finde it cool enough: But whilest I lay
on Parnassus Hill, I began to make a Lyrick Verse, as thus.

Bright, Sparkling hot Poetick fire,

My duller Muse Inspire

Unto thy Sweeter Lyre:

My Fancies like as Notes all sit

To play a Tune of Wit

On well-strung Numbers sit.

But your unfortunate Visit hath pull’d me so hastily down from the Hill,
that the force of the speed hath crack’d my Imaginary Fiddle, broke the
Strings of my Wit, blotted the Notes of Numbers, so spoil’d my Song.

Lady Visit

Prethee, there is none that would have taken the pains to have
sung thy Song, unlesse some blind Fidler in an Alehouse, and then not any
one would have listen’d unto it, for the fume of the drink would stop the Ooo2 sense Ooo2v 240
sense of their ears: Besides, Drunkards love not, nor delight in nothing but
beastly Nonsense; but howsoever I had done thee a friendly part, to fetch
thee down from off that monstrous high Hill, whereby the vastnesse of the
height might have made you so dizzy, as you might have fallen there-from
on the sharp stones of Spite, or at least, on the hard ground of Censure,
which might have bruised, if not wounded the Reputation of thy Wit.

Lady Contempl

Let me tell you, you had done me a Courtesie to have let
me remain’d there some time; for if you had let me alone, I might there
have improv’d the Stature of my Wit, perfected the Health of my Judgment,
and had nourished the Life of my Muse.

Exeunt.

Scene 27

Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue, Cloathed
like her Self.

Lord Title

Still I fear my fault is beyond a pacification, yet the Gods are
pacified with submissive Actions, as bended knees, repentant tears, imploring
words, sorrowful Sighs, and dejected Countenances, all which I gave
to thee.

Lady Virtue

Though there is always in my minde an obedient respect to
Merit, yet a scorn is a sufficient cause to make a rebelling of thoughts, words,
and actions; for though I am poor, yet I am virtuous, and Virtue is to be preferr’d
before Wealth or Birth, were I meanly born. But howsoever, true
Love, like a great and powerful Monarch, soon disperses those rebellious
passions, and quiets those factious thoughts, and all murmuring speeches, or
words, are put to silence, banishing all frowning Countenances, returning
humble looks into the eyes again.

Lord Title

Then you have pardon’d me.

Lady Vertue

Yes.

Lord Title

And do you love me?

Lady Virtue

As Saints do Heaven.

Lord Title kisses Lady Virtues hands.

Lord Title

Your Favours have rais’d my spirits from the grave of Melancholy,
and your pure Love hath given me a new Life.

Lady Virtue

So truly I love you, as nothing but death can destroy it; nay,
I am of that belief, that were I dead, and turned to ashes, my dust, like
firm and lasting steel, would fly unto you, as to the Loadstone, if you were
at such distance as nothing might oppose.

Lord Title

Thus Souls, as well as Bodies, love.

Exeunt.
Scene Ppp1r 241

Scene 28.

Enter the Lord Courtship, and the Lady Amorous.

Lady Amorous

Since I cannot have the happinesse of your Lordships
company at my House, I am come to wait upon you at your House.

Lord Courts

Your Ladyship doth me too great an honour.

Lady Amorous

Your Lordship is grown very Courtly. Pray how comes
our familiar friendship so estranged, and set at distance with Complements?

Lord Courts

Madam, my wilde manners have been so rude to your Fair
Sex, as I am become a scorn and shame unto my self.

Lady Amorous

I hate Civility and Manners in a man, it makes him appear
sneakingly, poorly, and effeminate, and not a Cavalier: Bold and free
Actions become your Sex.

Lord Courts

It doth so in a Camp amongst rude and rough Souldiers,
whose Breeding never knew Civility, nor will obey gentle Commands, submitting
only to rigorous Authority: But to the fair, tender, effeminate Sex, men
should offer their service by their admiring Looks, civil Discourses, and
humble Actions, bowing as to a Deity; and when they are pleased to favour
their servants, those Favours to be accounted beyond the Gifts of
Jove.

Lady Amorous

Have I Cuckolded my Husband, dishonoured my Family,
defamed my self for your sake, and am I thus rewarded and thrown aside
with civil Complements? O basest of men!

Lord Courts

I am sorry I have wronged your Husband, but more sorry I
have dishonour’d you, and what satisfaction a true repentance can make, I
offer upon the Altar of a Reformed Life.

Lady Amor

Do you repent? O false man! May you be cursed of all your
Sex, and die the death of Orpheus.

Lady Amorous goes out. Lord Courtship alone.

Lord Courts

It is beyond the power of Jove to please the various humours
of Woman-kind.

Exit.

Scene 29.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1Gentleman

There was never so many Noble Persons Married in one
day, in one City, I think, before those that are to Marry to morrow.

2 Gentlem

Who are they?

1 Gentelm

Why, do you not hear?

Ppp 2 Gentl. Ppp1v 240242

2 Genntlem

No.

1 Gentelm

Surely you have been either dead or deaf.

2 Gentlem

I have been in the Country.

1 Gentelm

That is some reason indeed; but the Newes of the City used
to travel in Letters on Post-horses into the Country.

2 Gentlem

No faith, for the most part they come in slow Waggons; but
tell me who those are that are to be Maried to morrow?

1 Gentelm

Why first there is the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue. Secondly,
the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward. Thirdly, there is Sir Fancy
Poet
and the Lady Contemplation. Fourthly, the Lady Conversation and Sir
Experienc’d Traveller
. And fifthly, the Lady Visitant and Sir Humphry Interruption.

2 Gentlem

I will do my endeavour to see them all; for I will go to each
Bridal House.

1 Gentelm

How will you do so, being all maried on a day?

2 Gentlem

Why I will bid Good-morrow to the one, and I will goe to
Church with another, and dine with the third, and dance the afternoon with
the fourth, and see the fifth a bed.

1 Gentelm

That you may do.

Exeunt.

Scene 30.

Enter Mistris Troublesome, and her Maid.

Mistris Troubles

Lord there are so many Weddings to be to morrow
as I know not which to go to! Besides, I shall displease those I go not
to, being invited to them all.

Maid

If you would displease neither of them, you must feign your self
sick, and go to none of them.

Mistris Troubles

None of them, say you? that would be a cause to make
me die; for I would not but be a guest to one of them for any thing could
be given me: But I am resolved to go to the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc’d
Travellers
Wedding, for there there will be the most company,
and it is company that I love better than the Wedding-cheer; for much
company is a Feast to me.

Maid

Truly Mistris, I wonder you should delight in company, you beiing
in years.

Mistris Troubles

Out you naughty Wench, do you say I am old?

Maid

No indeed, I did not name old.

Mistris Troubles

Then let me tell you, that those women that are in years
seek company to divulge their Wit, as youth to divulge their Beauty; and
we Aged Wits may chance to catch a Lover from a young Beauty: But I
should applaud my own wit, if it could contrive to bring each Bride and
Bridegroom into one Assembly, making Hymen’s Monarchy a Republick
where all should be in common.

Maid

So Mistriss you would prove a Traytor to Hymen, which is a
Bawd.

Mistris Troubles

Faith I will turn you away for your boldness.

Enter Ppp2r 241243 Enter Mistris Gossip.

O Mistris Gossip you are welcome, what Newes!

Mistris Gossip

I am come to tell you, that the five Bridals meet with their
Guests and good Cheer at the City-Hall, and make their several Companies
Joyning as one, as one Body, and there will be such Revelling, as the like
was never before.

Mistris Troubles

Juno be thanked, and Venus be praised for it; for I was
much perplex’d concerning their Divisions, till you came and brought me
this good Newes of their Corporation.

Exeunt.

Scene 31.

Enter the Lord Title, and the Lady Virtue as his Bride, both of
them richly attired, and Old Humanity following them.

Lord Title

Come Old Humanity, and be our Father, to joyn and give us
in the Church; and then when we are Maried, we will live a Country-
life, I as a Shepherd, and this Lady as my Fair Shepherdess.

Exeunt.

Scene 32.

Enter the Lady Ward as a Bride, and her Nurse Nurse Careful.

Nurse Careful

My dear Child, you appear as a sweet budding Rose this
morning.

Lady Ward

Roses are beset with thorns, Nurse, I hope I am not so.

Nurse Caref

By’r Lady your Husband may prove a thorn, if he be not a
good man, and a kind Husband; but Oh my heart doth ake.

Lady Ward

Wherefore doth it ake?

Enter Lord Courtship as a Bridegroom.

Lord Courts

Come Sweet, are you ready? for it is time to go to Church,
it is almost twelve a clock.

Lady Ward

I am ready, but my Nurse doth affright me, by telling me her
heart doth ake, as if she did fore-know by her experienc’d age some ill fortune
towards me, or that I shall be unhappy in my mariage.

Lord Courts

Her heart doth not ake for you, but for her self, because she
cannot be a young fair bride, as you are, as being past her youth; so that her
heart doth ake out of a sad remembrance of her self, not for a present, or a
future cause for you.

Nurse Caref

Well, well, I was young indeed, and a comely bride when
I was maried, though I say it, and had a loving bridegroom, Heaven rest his
soul.

Ppp2 Exeunt.
Ppp2v 244

Scene 33.

Enter the Lady Visitant as a Bride, to the Lady Contemplation,
plation
, another Bride.

Lady Visit

Come, I have brought all my bridal guests hither to joyn
with yours, for we will go to Church together: Wherefore prethee
come away, our Bridegrooms and our Guests stay for you.

Lady Contempl

I will go to them by and by.

Lady Visit

Why, I hope you do not stay and muse upon Phantasmes, faith
Mariage will banish them out of your head, you must now imploy your time
with Realities.

Lady Contempl

If I thought Mariage would destroy or disturb my Contemplations,
I would not marry, although my Wedding-guests were come,
and My Wedding-dinner ready drest, and my Wedding cloaths on; nay,
were I at the holy Altar, I would return back.

Lady Visit

That would be such an action, as all the Kingdome would say
you were mad.

Lady Contem

I had rather all the World should not only say I were mad,
but think me so, rather than my self to be unhappy.

Lady Visit

Can want of Contemplation make you unhappy?

Lady Contem

Yes, as unhappy as a body can be without a soul; for Contemplation
is the life of the soul, and who can be happy that hath a dead
soul?

Lady Visit

By my troth I had rather be dead, than have such a dull life.

Enter Maid.

Maid

Madam, the Bridegroom is coming hither.

Lady Contempl

I will prevent him, and meet him.

Exeunt.

Scene 34.

Enter the two Gentlemen.

1 Gentlem

Come away, come away, they’l be all married before we
shall get to Church.

2 Gentlem

There will be enough Witnesses, we may well be spared; but
so I share of the Feast, I care not whether they be married or not.

1 Gentle

The truth is, the benefit to us will be only in eating of their meat,
and drinking of their wine.

2 Gentlem

And I mean to be drunk, but not for joy of their Mariages, but
for pleasure of my Gusto.

Exeunt.
Scene Qqq1r 245

Scene 35.

Enter the five Couples, and all the Bridal Guests: The Bridegrooms
and the Brides dance, and the while the Bridal Torches
are held in their hands: Then a Poet speaks thus to them.

Speaker

What Lines of Light doe from those Torches spin

Which winds about those Ladies whiter skin?

But from their Eyes more Splend’rous Beams doe run,

As bright as those that issue from the Sun.

Wherein the lesser Lights wax dull and dim,

Or like as Minnes in an Ocean swim.

Enter Mall Mean-bred. The Lord Marquiss
writ this Scene.

Mall Mean-bred

By your good leave Gentlefolks,
I am come here to complain of this Hog-grubber
Sir Golden Riches, who did tempt me with Gold till he had his desire, you
know all what it is, and I like an honest woman, as it were, kept my word,
and performed truly as any woman could do: Speak, canst thou detect me
either in word or deed? and like a false and covetous wretch as thou art,
performed nothing with me as thou shouldst have done, I am sure of that:
Is’t not a truth? speak covetous wretch, speak.

Sir Gold. Rich

Why, what did I promise you?

Mall Mean-bred

Why thou didst promise me an hundred pounds in gold,
shew’d it me, and then took it away again; nay further, thou saidst I should
be a Lady, and have a great parimanus Coach gilt, with neighing Horses, and
a Coachman, with a Postilion to ride afore: Nay, nay, I remember well enough
what you said, you talkd of Gesemond, Pomatum, and Roman Gunpowder
for my hair, and fine gowns and stockings, and fine lac’d silk garters, and
roses shining like Stars, God bless us!

Sir Gold. Rich

Did I, did I?

Mall Mean-bred

Yes, that you did; you know what you did, and how
you did, and so do I; and Gentlefolks, as I am a true woman, which he
knows I am, I never had more than this white fustion wastecoat, and three
pence to buy me three pennyworth of pins, for he would allow me no incle
to tie it withall, and this old stamel peticoat, that was his great Grandmothers
in Eighty eight, I am no two-legg’d creature else.

Sir Gold. Rich

But I bought you velvet to gard it withall.

Mall Mean-bred

Yes, that’s true, an old black velvet Jerkin without
sleeves, that had belonged to one of Queen Elizabeth her learned Counsel in
the Law of blessed Memory, primo of Her Reign, and you bought it of an old
Broker at Nottingham; and as I am a true Christian woman, if our Neighbour
Botcher could almost sew it on, it was so mortified.

Sir Gold. Rich

I bought you shooes, and ribbons to tie them withall.

She shewes her shooes.

Mall Mean-bred

Look Gentlefolks, a pair of wet-leather shooes, that have
given me a Cold, and two leather points that he calls ribbons, like a lying
false man.

Qqq Sir Qqq1v 246

Sir Gold. Rich

I am sure I bought you stockins and garters.

Mall Mean-bred

Old Doncaster-stockins, that I was fain to wash my self
with a little borrow’d sope, and they were footed with yellow fustion too,
and the garters he talks of were lists of cloth, which a Taylor gave me for my
New-years-gift, and I cannot chuse but grieve to see his unkindnesse; I gave
you satisfaction often, but you never satisfied me, I will take it upon my
death.

Sir Gold. Rich

Go Gill Flirt, pack away hence.

Mall Mean-bred

Nay that puts me in mind of the Pedlars pack you promis’d
me, and I never had so much bought as that I might whissle for them;
but I will follow thee to Hell, but I will have something more out of thee
than I have had, or else I will make all the Town ring of me.

Enter two Beadles.

Sir Gold. Rich

Here Beadles, take her to the Correction-house, Bridewell,
and let her be punished.

Mall Mean-bred

Is it so, thou miscreant? well, I thought to be thy Bride,
and not Bridewell, I never thought it in my conscience.

Here ends my Lords writing.

Lord Title

Pray stay.

Enter Thom. Purveyor. The Lord Title whispers to Thom. Purveyor, then
turns to Mall Mean-bred.

Lord Title

Mall, although you deceived me, and broke your promise, yet
I will not only save you from the punishment you were to suffer at the Correction-house,
but I will give thee a Husband here, lusty Thom. Purveyor, to
whom, for taking thee to Wife, I will give him a lease of fifty pounds a year.
Here, Tom, take her and go marry her.

Mall Mean-bred

Heaven bless your Honour.

Tom

Come Mall, let us go Wed, for fifty pounds a year is better than thy
Maiden-head.

Exeunt.

Finis.