247 Qqq2r 247

The Firſt Part of the Play calledWits Cabal.

The Actors Names.

Monſieur Heroick.

Monſieur Tranquillities Peace.

Monſieur Vain-glorious.

Monſieur Satyrical.

Monſieur Cenſure.

Monſieur Senſuality.

Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Monſieur Buſie.

Monſieur Frisk.

Liberty, the Lady Pleaſure’sGentleman-uſher.

Madamoiſelle Ambition.

Madamoiſelle Superbe.

Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Madamoiſelle Faction.

Grave Temperance, Governeſs to Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Madamoiſelle Portrait.

Mother Matron.

Wanton, Exceſs, Eaſe, Idle, Surfet, waiting-maids to Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Flattery, Madamoiſelle Superbe’swaiting-maid.

Servants and others.

The
248 Qqq2v 248

The Firſt Part of the Play called Wits Cabal.

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter Madam Ambition alone.

Ambition

I would my Parents had kept me up as birds in darkneſs, when they are taught to ſing Artificial Tunes, that my ears only might have been imploy’d; and as thoſe Teachers whiſtle to birds ſeveral tunes, ſo would I have had Tutors to have read to me ſeveral Authors, as the beſt Poets, the beſt Historians, the beſt Philoſophers, Moral and Natural, the beſt Grammarians, Arithmaticians, Mathematicians, Logicians, and the like. Thus perchance I might have ſpoke as eloquently upon every ſubject, as Birds ſing ſweetly ſeveral tunes; but ſince my Education hath been ſo negligent, I wiſh I might do ſome noble Action, ſuch as might raiſe a monumental Fame on the dead Aſhes of my Fore-fathers, that my Name might live everlaſtingly.

Exit.

Scene 2.

Enter Madamoiſelle Superbe, and Flattery her Woman.

Madam Superbe

I hate to be compared to an inferiour, or to have an inferiour compared to me: wherefore if I were Jove, I would damn that creature that ſhould compare me to any thing leſſe than my ſelf.

Flattery

Your Ladyſhip is like a Goddeſs, above all compariſon: wherefore I think there is none worthy to match in Mariage with you, unleſs there were ſome Maſculine Divine Creature on Earth to equal you, as ſurely there is none.

Superbe

I ſhall not willingly marry, unleſs it were to have a command over my Husband.

Flattery

But Husbands, Madam, command Wives.

Superbe

Not thoſe that are Divine Creatures.

Flattery

Husbands, Madam, are Reprobates, and regard not Divinity, nor worſhip Earthly Deities.

Superbe

Whilſt they are Suters, they worſhip, and women command their wooing ſervants.

Flattery

The truth is, all Suters do worſhip with an Idolatrous zeal, but their zeals tire at length, as most zeals do, and men are content to be commanded, whileſt they are Courting ſervants, and do obey with an induſtriousous 249 Rrr1r 249 ous care, and with an humble and reſpectful Demeanor, a ſubmiſſive and awful Countenance, with an admiring and liſtning Ear, pleaſing and applauſing Speech, inſomuch as their Miſtris might think they commanded not only their Senſes, but alſo their Souls; yet after they are maried, they become from being ſervants, to be Maſters, and they are ſo far from obeying, as they command, and inſtead of an humble and reſpectful demeanour, and an awful countenance, they will be haughty and ſurly, and their faces will be cloathed in frowns, and inſtead of an admiring eye and a liſtning ear, they will neither regard nor take notice of their Wives, unleſs it be to throw a ſcornful glance, and inſtead of a pleaſing and applauſing ſpeech, they will reprove, diſcommend, or threaten. Thus, although they ſerve as Slaves when they are wooing Suters, yet they rule as Tyrants when they are Husbands, as all Slaves do that come to rule, prove Tyrants, like as the moſt fierce zealous Supplicants oft-times prove Atheiſts, or Reprobates.

Superbe

Then I muſt never marry; for I cannot endure to be commanded, but muſt be admired and adored.

Flattery

’Tis fit you ſhould, being a Divine Creature, Madam.

Exeunt.
Enter Madamoiselle Pleaſure, and Grave Temperance her Governeſs, and five Waiting-maids, namely, Wanton, Idle, Eaſe, Exceſs, and Surfet.

Wanton

Women that love the Courtſhip of men, muſt change themſelves into as many ſeveral humours as Protheus ſhapes; as ſometimes gay and merry, ſometimes grave and majeſtical, ſometimes melancholy, ſometimes baſhful and coy, ſometimes free and confident, ſometimes patient, and ſometimes cholerick, ſometimes ſilent, and ſometimes diſcourſive, according as they find thoſe humours they meet with.

Eaſe

Let me tell you, Wanton, they muſt love Courtſhip well, that will take ſuch pains to transform themſelves ſo often, to pleaſe, or rather to get Lovers.

Temperance

You ſay well, Eaſe, but they rather loſe than gain by the bargain; for the charge of troubeſome obſervance, is more than the profit they receive therefrom.

Eaſe

Truly, Miſtris Temperance, there is no delight in pains-taking, ask my Lady Pleaſure.

Madam. Pleaſure

No truly Eaſe; but a ſweet civility, a modeſt behaviour and countenance, and a pleaſing ſpeech, gains more Lovers than a metamorphos’d humour.

Temperance

In truth a well-temper’d humour is eaſie to themſelves, and delightful to others.

Wanton

You ſpeak for Lovers, but there is a difference betwixt Courtſhip and Love; for dull Love is contented to be entertained only with plain truth, and is conſtant to an honeſt heart, but ſprightly Courtſhip delights in extravagancies, lives in varieties, but dies in particulars or ſingularities.

Pleaſure

True delight lives in true love.

Rrr Temperance 250 Rrr1v 250

Temperanc

And true Love lives in Temperance.

Eaſe

And Temperance lives in Eaſe.

Idle

And Eaſe lives in Idleneſs.

Wanton

And Idleneſſe lives in Wantonneſſe, and Wantonneſſe lives in Pleaſure.

Pleaſure

Let me tell you, Wanton, that Pleaſure doth not live in Wantonneſſe nor Idleneſſe; for Pleaſure lives in Peace, maintained by Plenty, inſtructed by Prudence, protected by Juſtice, and governed by Grave Temperance here.

Exeunt.

Scene 4.

Enter Monſieur Vain-glorious, and his Man.

Vain-glorious

All the Ladies in the City are in love with me, and that woman thinks her ſelf happy that can receive a Courtſhip from me; but I mean to marry none but Madamoiſelle Ambition, nor would I marry her but for my particular ends, for ſhe is rich.

Servant

She is ſo, if they be rich that have vaſt deſires. But are you ſure you ſhall have her?

Vain-glorious

Yes, for her Friends and I am agreed, and I know ſhe cannot deny me; for what woman would not be proud to marry me?

Servant

’Tis ſaid ſhe is a Noble Lady.

Vain-glorious

Faith ſhe will be but a trouble to me; but I will only keep her for breed, and entertain my ſelf, and lead my life with Madamoiſelle Pleaſure, and ſhe ſhall ſhare of the riches that Madamoiſelle Ambition brings.

Servant

Now you talk of riches Sir, what ſhall we do with the rich Cabinet you bought? muſt that be carried to Madamoiſelle Pleaſure?

Vain-glorious

Yes, but I have other preſents to ſend along with it, which I will give order for.

Exeunt.

Scene 5.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality, and Monſieur Cenſure.

Senſuality

Live under theſe lawes? I will ſooner live under the Turks.

Cenſure

What makes thee ſuch an enemy to theſe lawes, Monſieur Senſuality?

Senſuality

Why Monſieur Cenſure, I am fined a hundred pounds for kiſſing a Miſtris, and getting a child.

Cenſure

Indeed the Turks government is the only government for ſuch men as would have many Wives, Concubines, and Slaves.

Senſuality

Why, he is a ſlave that lives not under ſuch government; for what greater ſlavery is there than to be tyed to one woman? I am ſure our Fore-fathers, who were godly men, were not tyed to ſuch ſlavery; they had their 251 Rrr2r 251 their liberty as the Turks, and ſuch like wiſe governments, as to have as many Wives and Miſtreſſes as they pleaſe, or at leaſt as many as they can maintain.

Cenſure

Although you may think that government wiſe, becauſe it fits your Appetite, yet well-tempred men, ’tis likely, will be of another opinion, as to think the ſtrict Canon-Laws of Europe are better for the good of Common-wealths, and every particular Family, by reſtraining one man to one woman, than to let them have more, or as many as they will.

Senſuality

If well-temperd men be of that opinion, they are fools, which I will ſoon prove them to be. As firſt for the Common-wealth, there is nothing more diſadvantagious; for thoſe Commonwealths flouriſh with greateſt glory, that are fulleſt populated, by reaſon populated Kingdomes are ſtrongest, both for their own defence, and againſt Forein Enemies, as being able to conquer others by Invaſions, inlarging their Dominions with their numbers, increaſing their numbers with their numerous iſſues, begot and born from their many Wives, Concubines, and Slaves: when by our niggardly laws Kingdoms become uninhabited and barren for want of men to till and manure the ground: And as for our Wars, they’d ſeem as private Challenges, and our Armies as particular Duellers, being met with their Seconds to decide their petty quarrels, and to ſhew their valour by the hazard of their lives, and our Battels ſeem ſlight Skirmiſhes, or like a Company or Rout that kill each other in an idle Fray. Thus in compariſon of other Empires, all Europe is but as one Kingdom, for numbers of men, and Martial Forces, when by the Extent it may be accounted the fourth part of the known World. And as for particular Families, want of children breeds diſcontent, and not only deſtroys induſtry, but makes ſpoil and unthrifts; for thoſe that have no children, they care not what becomes of their goods, lands, or livings, ſpending them through careleſneſs, or through riot: And as for Women, it ſpoils them from being good wives; for being ſole Miſtriſſes, having no Co-partners, nor Sharers, neither of their Husbands, children, or eſtates, and being the only She that is ſerved or attended, imbraced, loved, or maintained, grows proud, imperious, inſults and domineers, and diſputes with her Husband for preheminency, and the truth is, for the moſt part, obtains it. Thus men become ſlaves to the diſtaff for quietneſs ſake, otherwiſe there is ſuch quarrels and brawleries, that his houſe and home, that ſhould be his Couch of Easſe, his Bed of Reſt, his peaceable Haven, or haven of Peace, is for the moſt part his couch of thorns, his bed of cares, his hell of torments, or tormenting hell, and his whole Family are like a tempeſtuous Sea, where Paſſions hurl into Factions, and riſe in waves of diſcontent: But when men have an abſolute power over their wives, they force them into quiet obedience; and where men have many Wives, Concubines, and Slaves, the women are humbled into a ſubmiſſion, each woman ſtriving which ſhould be moſt ſerviceable, and who can get moſt love and favour; and as for Basſtards, they are as much the Fathers children, as thoſe that are got in Wedlock.

Cenſure

But it is likely that Concubines and ſlaves will be flaſe, and father their children on thoſe that never begot them.

Senſuality

Why ſo may Wives, and ’tis moſt probable they do ſo; but as other Nations do allow many Wives, Concubines, and ſlaves, ſo they give men power and rule to govern and reſtrain them; and the men are ſo wiſe in other Nations, as they ſuffer no other men but themſelves to come Rrr2 near 252 Rrr2v 252 neer them, hardly to look at the outſide of their Seraglio’s, as that part of the houſe they are lodged in.

Cenſure

Thou haſt ſpoke ſo well, and haſt made ſo learned a Speech for many Wives, Concubines, and ſlaves, as I am converted, and will, if thou wilt, travel into ſuch Kingdomes as allow ſuch numbers and varieties, that I may be naturalliz’d to their liberties.

Exeunt.

Scene 6.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

What is the reaſon, Monſieur Satyrical, you do not marry?

Satyrical

The reaſon, Monſieur Inquiſitive, is, that I cannot find a wife fit for me.

Inquiſitive

Why, there are women of all Ages, Births, Humours, Statures, Shapes, Complexions, Features, Behaviours, and Wits. But what think you of marrying the Lady Nobiliſſimo?

Satyrical

She is a Lady that out-reaches my Ambition.

Inquiſitive

What think you of the Lady Belliſſimo?

Satyrical

She is a Lady for Admiration, and not for uſe.

Inquiſitive

What think you of marying the Lady Piety?

Satyrical

She is a Lady to be pray’d unto as a Saint, not to be imbraced as a wife.

Inquiſitive

What think you of the Lady Modeſty?

Satyrical

She is a Lady that will not only quench amorous love, but the free matrimonial love.

Inquiſitive

What do you think of the Lady Sage?

Satyrical

She is a Lady to rule as a Husband, and not to be ruled as a Wife.

Inquiſitive

What think you of the Lady Politick?

Satyrical

She is a Lady fitter for Counſel than for Mariage.

Inquisitive

What ſay you to the Lady Ceremony?

Satyrical

She is a Lady fitter for a Princely Throne, than the Mariage-bed.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Poetical?

Satyrical

She is a Lady fitter for Contemplation than Fruition.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Humility?

Satyrical

She is a Lady ſooner won than enjoy’d.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Sprightly?

Satyrical

She is a Lady that will diſquiet my reſt, being fitter for dancing than ſleeping.

Inquiſitive

What ſay to the Lady Prodigal?

Satyrical

She is a Lady I might feaſt with, but could not thrive with.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Vanity?

Satyrical

She is a Lady too various and extravagant for my humour.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Victoria?

Satyrical

She is a Lady I had rather hear of, than be inſlaved by.

Inquiſitive

What say you to the Lady Innocent Youth?

Satyrical 253 Sss1r 253

Satyrical

She is a Lady that may pleaſe with imbracing, but not with converſing; she is fitter for love than for company, for Cupid than for Pallas, for ſport than for counſel.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Wanton?

Satyrical

She is fitter for an hour than for an Age.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Poverty?

Satyrical

She is fitter for my Charity than my Family.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Ill-favoured?

Satyrical

She is a Lady fitter for a Nunnery than a Nurſery; for Beads, than for Children.

Inquiſitive

What ſay you to the Lady Weakly?

Satyrical

She is fitter for Death than for Life; for Heaven, than the World.

Inquiſitive

By your Anſwers I perceive you will not Marry.

Satyrical

Have I not reaſon, when I can finde ſuch Anſwers from the Sex?

Inquiſitive

But the Gods have commanded Mariage?

Satyrical

But Saints doe chooſe a ſingle life, and in caſe of Mariage, I will ſooner follow the Example of the Saints, than the commands of the Gods. Exeunt.

Scene 7.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, Superbe, Bon’ Eſprit, Pleaſure, Portrait, Faction, Grave Temperance, and Mother Matron

Grave Temperance

Ladies, what think you of good Husbands?

Portrait

I think well of good Husbands.

Bon’ Eſprit

But it is a queſtion whether good Husbands will think well of us.

Faction

I think good Husbands may be in our thoughts, but not actually in the World.

Ambition

I am of your opinion, they may be mention’d in our words, but not found in our lives.

Pleaſure

Faith we may hear of good husbands, and read of good wives, but they are but Romances.

Portrait

You ſay right; for we may as ſoon finde an Heroick Lover, and ſee all his impoſſible Actions out of a Romance Book, as a good Huſbands; but as for Wives, I will not declare my Opinion.

Bon’ Eſprit

Nor I; but were there ſuch men that would make good huſbands, it were as difficult to get them, as for a Romantick Lover to get his Miſtris out of an Inchanted Caſtle.

Pleaſure

For my part I had rather die a Maid, than take the pains to get a good Husband.

Superbe

I wonder our Sex ſhould deſire to Marry; for when we are unmaried, we a ſued and ſought to, and not only Miſtris of our ſelves, but our Suters: But when we are maried, we are ſo far from being Miſtriſſes, as we become ſlaves.

Sſſ Pleaſure 254 Sss1v 254

Pleaſure

The truth is, there is no Act ſhews us, or rather proves us to be ſo much fools as we are, as in marrying: for what greater folly can there be, than to put our ſelves to that condition which will force us to ſue to power, when before that voluntary ſlavery we were in a condition to uſe power, and make men ſue to us.

Ambition

We muſt confeſs, when we well conſider, it is very ſtrange, ſince every Creature naturally deſires and ſtrives for preheminency, as to be ſuperiour, and not inferiour; for all Creatures indeavour to command, and are unwilling to obey; for it is not only Man, but even the Beaſts of the Field, the Birds of the Air, and the Fiſhes in the Sea; and not only Beaſts, Birds, and Fiſh, but the Elements thoſe creatures inhabite in, ſtrive for ſuperiority; only Women, who ſeem to have the meaneſt ſouls of all the Creatures Nature hath made; for women are ſo far from indeavouring to get power, as they voluntarily give away what they have.

Portrait

Talk not of womens ſouls, for men ſay we have no ſouls, only beautiful bodies.

Bon’ Eſprit

But beautiful bodies are in a degree of ſouls, and in my Conſcience pleaſe men better than our ſouls could do.

Superbe

If any thing prove we have no ſouls, it is in letting men make such fools of us.

Matron

Come, come Ladies, by Womens Actions they prove to have more, or at leaſt better ſouls than Men have; for the beſt parts of the Soul are Love and Generoſity, and Women have more of either than Men have.

Grave Temperance

The truth is, that although Reaſon and Underſtanding are the largeſt parts of the Soul, yet Love and Generoſity are the delicateſt parts of the Soul.

Enter Monſieur Heroick.

Heroick

Goodmorrow young Ladies, you appear this morning like ſweetſmelling flowers, ſome as Roſes, others as Lillies, others as Violets, Pinks, and Primroſes, and your aſſociating in a company together, is like as a Poſie which Love hath bound up into one Bucket, which is a fit Preſent for the Gods.

Bon’ Eſprit

If you would have us preſented to the Gods, we muſt die; for we are never preferred to them but by Death: wherefore we muſt be given to Death, before the Gods can have us; they may hear us whileſt we live, and we may hear of them, but partake of neither until we die.

Heroick

O that were pity, Ladies; for there is nothing more ſad in Nature, than when Death parts a witty Soul from a young beautiful Body, before the one hath built Monuments of Memory, and the other gained Trophies of Lovers: And as for the Gods, you will be as acceptable to them when you are old, as when you are young.

Ambition

As nothing could make me ſo ſad as untimely death of Youth, Wit, and Beauty, ſo there is nothing could anger me more, as for Fortune to frown upon Merit, or not to advance it according to its worth, or to bury it in Oblivion, hindring the paſſage into Fames Palace.

Temperance

For my part, I believe Death will neither call nor come for you before his natural time, if you do not ſend Surfet and Exceſs to call him to take you away.

Pleaſure

Indeed Mankind ſeem as if they were Deaths Factors; for they do 255 Sss2r 255 do ſtrive to ingroſs and deſtroy all other creatures, or at leaſt as many as they can; and not only other creatures, but their own kinde, as in Wars; and not only their own kinde, but themſelves, in idle and unprofitable Adventures, and gluttonous Exceſs, thus as I ſaid, they are Deaths Factors, buying ſickneſs with health, hoping to gain pleaſure, and to make delight their profit, but they are cozen’d, for they only get Diſeaſes, Pains, and Aches.

Matron

Pray Ladies mark how far you are gone from the Text of your diſcourſe, as from ſweet-ſmelling flowers to ſtinking carrion, which are dead carkaſſes; from a lively good-morrow, to a dead farewel; from mirth to ſadneſs.

Portrait

You ſay right, Mother Matron; wherefore pray leave off this diſcourſe, for I hate to hear off death; for the thoughts of death affright me ſo, as I can take no pleaſure of life when he is in my mind.

Heroick

Why Ladies, the thought of death is more than death himſelf; for thoughts are ſenſible or imaginable things, but Death himſelf is neither ſenſible nor imaginable.

Portrait

Therefore I would not think of him; and when I am dead, I am paſt thinking.

Superbe

Let us diſcourſe of ſomething that is more pleaſing than Death.

Heroick

Then by my conſent, Ladies, your diſcourſe ſhall be of Venus and Cupid, which are Themes more delightful to your Sex, and moſt contrary to death; for Love is hot, and Death is cold; Love illuminates life, and Death quenches life out.

Bon’ Eſprit

Let me tell you Sir, Love is as apt to burn life out, as Death is to quench it out, and I had rather die with cold, than be burnt with heat; for cold kills with a dead numneſs, when heat kills with a raging madneſſe.

Pleaſure

But Lovers are tormented with fears and doubts, which cauſe cold ſweats, fainting of ſpirits, trembling of limbs; it breaks the ſweet repoſe of ſleep, diſturbs the quiet peace of the mind, vades the colours of beauty, nips or laſts the bloſſome of youth, making Lovers look withered; before Time hath made them old.

Heroick

It is a ſigne, Lady, you have been in love, you give ſo right a Character of a Lover.

Pleaſure

No, there requires not a ſelf-experience to find out a Lovers trouble, for the outward Actions will declare their inward grief and paſſion.

Superbe

Certainly ſhe is in love; but conceals it, ſhe keeps it as a Secret.

Pleaſure

Love cannot be ſecret, the paſſion divulges it ſelf.

Portrait

Confeſs, Are you not in love?

Faction

Nay ſhe will never confeſs a Secret, unleſs you tell her one; for thoſe that tell no ſecrets, ſhall hear none.

Portrait

O yes, for a Secret is like a child in the womb; for though it be concealed for a time, it will come out at laſt, only ſome comes out eaſier than others, and ſome before their time.

Ambition

Nay whenſoever a ſecret comes out, it’s untimely.

Faction

Secrets are like Coy Ducks, when one is flown out, it draws out others, and returns with many.

Pleaſure

Then like a Coy Duck I will try if I can draw all you after me.

Sſſ2 Exit Pleaſure. 256 Sss2v 256

Bon’ Eſprit

She ſhall ſee ſhe is like a Duck, which is like a Gooſe, and we like her, for we will follow her.

Exeunt.

Scene 8.

Enter Monſieur Tranquillities Peace, and his Man.

Tranquill. Peace

Have you been at Monſieur Buſie’s houſe, to tell him I deſire to ſpeak with him?

SerPvant

Yes, I have been at his houſe.

Tranquill. Peace

And will he come?

Servant

Faith Sir the houſe is too unwieldy to ſtir, and Monſieur Buſie is too Active to ſtay at home: but the truth is, I went at four a clock this morning, becauſe I would be ſure to find him and his ſervants, and their Maſter was flown out of his neſt an hour before: Then I told his ſervants I would come about dinner-time, and they laugh’d, and ask’d me what time was that? I ſaid I ſuppoſed at the uſual time, about Noon, or an hour before or after, but they ſaid their Maſter never kept any certain time of eating, being full of buſineſs. Then I asked them what time that would be when he would come home to bed: They anſwered, that his time of Reſting was as uncertain as his time of Eating. Then I pray’d them to tell me at what time they thought I might find him at home: They ſaid it was impoſſible for them to gueſs, for that their Maſter did move from place to place, as ſwift as thoughts move in the Mind. Then I pray’d them that they would tell him when he came home, that you would deſire to ſpeak with him: They told me they would, but they did verily believe he would forget to come to you, by reaſon his head was ſo full of buſie thoughts, or thoughts of buſineſs, as there was no room more for a thought to ſtay in. So I went away in deſpair, but coming home, I chanced to ſee him at a little diſtance, ſo I made all the haſte I could to overtake him, placing my Eyes fixedly upon him, becauſe I would not loſe him; but his pace was ſo ſwift, and his ſeveral turnings in ſeveral Lanes and Allyes were ſo many, as it was impoſſible for me to keep my meaſure, pace, or ſight, for like a Bird, he did not only fly our of my reach, but out of my view; but by a ſecond good fortune, I met him juſt at your Gate, and I ſtopp’d his way until I had told him your Meſſage, which was, you would ſpeak with him: He anſwered me, he could not poſſibly ſtay, for his buſineſſe called him another way. I told him, that if he did not come and ſpeak with you, or ſtay until you did come and ſpeak with him, his Law-ſute, which was of great Importance, would be loſt, for you could not do him any further ſervice to your Friends, that ſhould help him, until he had reſolved you of ſome queſtions you were to ask him; beſides that, you wanted a Writing that he had. He told me that he was very much obliged to you for your favour to him, but he could not poſſibly ſtay to ſpeak with you, for he had ſome buſineſſe to do for two or three other men, and he muſt of neceſſity go ſeek thoſe men out whom the buſineſſe concerned; ſo that I could not perſwade him by any means, although for his own good, to come in, or to ſtay till you went to him.

Tranquill. Peace

Faith he is ſo buſie, that he will neither do himſelf good nor 257 Ttt1r 257 nor any other man; for he runs himſelf out of the Field of Buſineſs, being over-buſy, neither holding the Reins of Time, nor ſitting ſteady in the Seat of Judgment, nor ſtopping with the Bit of Diſcretion, nor taking the Advantages of Opportunity; but totters with Inconſtancy, and falls with Loſſe. Thus his buſy thoughts do tire his Mind, ſo that his life hath a ſorry, ſore, and weary Journey.

Servant

I think he is a man that is full of Projects.

Tranquill. Peace

So full, as his head is ſtuff’d with them, and he begins many deſigns, but never finiſheth any one of them; for his deſigns are built upon vain hopes, without a Foundation: But were his hopes ſolid with probability, yet his inconſtancy, and unſteady doubts, and over-cautious care, would pull down, or ruine his deſigns before they were half built.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Ambition, Superbe, Pleaſure, Faction, Grave Temperance, Mother Matron. Enter Monſieur Senſuality.

Portrait

Monſieur Senſuality, let us examine you, What company have you met withall, that hath cauſed you to break your Word with us, when you had promiſed you would come, and carry us to a Play?

Pleaſure

If he carry us all, he will carry a very heavy load.

Matron

Ladies ſhould be heavy, and not light.

Portrait

But Monſieur Senſuality, pray tell us where you have been, and with whom.

Senſuality

Why I have beeen with as proper a Lady as any is in this City.

Ambition

What do you mean by a proper Lady?

Bon’ Eſprit

He means a prop’d Lady.

Senſuality

I mean a Tall, Proportionable Lady, which is a comely ſight.

Faction

Not to my Eyes; for I never ſee a tall big woman, but I think ſhe rather proceeds from the race of Titan than Jove, for ſhe ſeems to be more Body than Soul, more Earth than Flame.

Senſuality

For my part, I think there cannot be too much of a fair Lady; and if I were to chooſe, I would chooſe her that had more body than ſoul, for her ſoul would be uſeleſſe to me, by reaſon ſouls cannot be enjoy’d as bodies are.

Ambition

Yes, in a ſpiritual converſation they may.

Senſuality

I hate an incorporeal Converſation.

Superbe

Why then you hate the Converſation of the Gods.

Senſuality

I love the Converſation and Society of fair young Ladies, ſuch as you are.

Portrait

That is not the Anſwer to my queſtion.

Senſuality

Then let me tell you, Ladies, that moſt of our Sex do venture Heaven for your ſakes, and will ſooner diſobey the Gods than you.

Ttt Bon’ Eſprit 258 Ttt1v 258

Bon’ Eſprit

So you make as if Women commanded Men againſt the Gods.

Senſuality

No Lady, but we ſerve Women, when we ſhould ſerve the Gods, and pray to your Sex, when the Gods would have us pray to them.

Pleaſure

The more wicked creatures are men.

Senſuality

No, the more tempting creatures are women.

Faction

So you will make us Devils at laſt; for the original of temptation came from Pluto.

Senſuality

Temptation, Lady, was bred in Nature, born from Nature, and inhabites with all your Sex, as with Natures ſelf, whom I have heard is a moſt beautiful Lady, and that is the reaſon, I ſuppose, ſhe hath favoured women more than men, being her ſelf of the Effeminate Sex: And the truth is, Nature hath been cruel to our Sex; for ſhe hath not only made you ſo beautiful, as to be admired and deſired, but ſo cruel, as to deſpiſe, reject and ſcorn us, taking pleaſure in our torments.

Portrait

If all Women were of my mind, we would torment you more than we do.

Faction

We have tormented him enough with talking, therefore let us leave him.

Senſuality

Nay Ladies, I will wait upon you.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene 10.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Monſieur Frisk.

Frisk

Monſieur Satyrical, I can tell you ſad News.

Satyrical

Let ſadneſſe ſit upon the grave of Death, for I defie it.

Frisk

But that man is in danger that ſtands as a Centre in a Circumference, from whence all the malignant paſſions ſhoot at him, as Suſpition, Spight, Envy, Hatred, Malice, and Revenge; and the more dangerous, by reaſon their Arrows are poyſoned with Effeminate Rage.

Satyrical

Let them ſhoot, for I am arm’d with Careleſneſſe, and have a Spell of Confidence, which will keep me ſafe. But who are they that are mine Enemies?

Frisk

No leſs than a dozen Ladies

Satyrical

If I can attain to fight with them apart, hand to hand, I make no queſtion but to come off Conquerour; and if they aſſault me altogether, yet I make no doubt but I ſhall ſo skirmiſh amongſt them, as I ſhall be on equal terms. But what makes the breach of peace betwixt me and the Ladies, and ſuch a breach as to proclame Open Wars?

Frisk

The Cauſe is juſt, if it be true as it is repotrted.

Satyrical

Why what is reported?

Frisk

It is reported you have divulged ſome ſecret favours thoſe Ladies have given you.

Satyrical 259 Ttt2r 259

Satyrical

It were ungrateful to conceal a favour: for favours proceed from generous and noble Souls, ſweet and kind Natures.

Frisk

But Ladies favours are to be concealed and lock’d up in the Cloſet of ſecrecie, being given with privacy, and promiſe not to divulge them; and it ſeems by report you have broke your promiſe, for which they ſwear to be revenged.

Satyrical

Faith all Women, eſpecially Ladies, their natural humour is like the Sea, which will be neither quiet it ſelf, always ebbing and flowing, nor let any thing be at reſt on it: I know not what the Fiſhes are that are in it, but for any thing I can perceive to the contrary, they live in a perpetual motion: So doe Ladies; for their Paſsions and Affections ebb and flow from object to object; for one while they flow with love, then ebb with hate, ſometimes they are rough with anger, and ſtormy with rage, then indifferent calm with patience, but that is ſeldome: But in the Spring-tide of Beauty they overflow all with pride, and their thoughts, like Fiſhes, are in a perpetual motion, ſwimming from place to place, from company to company, from one meeting to another, and are never at reſt.

Frisk

Thou deſerv’ſt to die the death of Orpheus.

Satyrical

’Tis likely I ſhall, by reaſon I am a Satyrical Poet, and Women hate Satyre in Poetry, although not Wood or Forreſt Satyrs; and the moſt extravagant and maddeſt Actions that ever were done, were done or acted by Women, and the truth is, Women are not only Batchelling ſome parts of the year, but all their life-long, for they drink vanity, and are mad-drunk with wantonneſſe

Frisk

Let me tell you, that if I ſhould be brought as a Witneſſe, and ſhould declare the truth, there were no hopes of mercy for thee.

Satyrical

I grant it, if Women were to be my Judges.

Exeunt.

Scene 11.

Enter Exceſs, Wanton, Idle, and Surfet.

Exceſs

Where ſhall we go for paſtime to day? for our Lady hath left us to our own pleaſures to day.

Idle

Let us go and ſwim in a Boat upon the River.

Wanton

That is but a watriſh Recreation; beſides; it is very dangerous, for many have been drowned in their idel paſtimes.

Surfet

If you will take my Counſel, let us go the the Lodge in the Park, and drink Sullybubs.

Wanton

Yes, let us go, for the Lodge puts me into a good humour, and Sullybubs make me merry.

Idle

You have reaſon, for it is a cheerly Cup, and a Cup of good fellowſhip, for we may all eat and drink together.

Surfet

Yes by ſpoonfuls.

Exceſs

I love to be drunk by ſpoonfuls, for then I am drunk by degrees, and not at one draught, as a pinte, or a quart at a draught, as men do; beſides, though it be allowable for the ſobereſt nobleſt Women to be drunk with Wine-caudles, Sullybubs, Sack-poſſets, and the like, ſo it be by ſpoonfuls, yet it were abominable and moſt diſhonourable for Women to be Ttt2 drunk 260 Ttt2v 260 drunk with plain Wine, and great draught, as men are; beſides, in great draughts there is not that pleaſure of taſte, as in a little at a time.

Idle

I believe that is the reaſon that Flemmings love to ſip their Wine, becauſe they would have the pleaſure of Taſte.

Wanton

No queſtion but they learn’d that of the Effeminate Sex, who love to taſte of every thing.

Surfet

I do believe it; for all women love ſpoon-meat.

Exceſs

’Tis true, and to drink in ſpoons.

Idle

Talk no more of eating and drinking, but eat and drink without talking, and afterwards talk to digeſt irt.

Exceſs

And after it is digesſted, let’s eat and drink again.

Wanton

So we ſhall do nothing but eat, drink, and talk.

Surfet

Women do nothing elſe all their life-long.

Wanton

By your favour but we do.

Exceſs

Come, come, let us go.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter the Lady Ambition alone.

Ambition

O that I might enjoy thoſe pleaſures which Poets fancy, living in ſuch delight as nature never knew; nor that all Poets did write of me, not only to expreſs their Wit, but my Worth, and that I might be praiſed by all mankind, yet not vulgarly, as in a croud of others praiſes, but my praiſes to be ſingularly inthron’d above the reſt, and that all others commendations might have no other light but what proceeds from the ſplendor of my Fame: Alſo I wiſh that Nature had made me ſuch a Beauty, as might have drawn the Eyes of the whole World as a Loadſtone to gaze at it, and the ſplendor thereof might have inlighted every blind eye, and the beams therefrom might have comforted every ſad heart, and the pleaſing Aſpect therein might have turned all paſſions into love; then would I have had Nature, Fort nune, and the Fates, to have given me a free power of the whole World, and all that is therein, that I might have preſt and ſqueezed ourt the healing Balſomes, and ſovereign Juices, and reſtoring Simples into every ſick wounded and decayed body, and every diſquieted or diſtemper’d mind: Likewiſe, that I might have been able to have relieved thoſe that were poor and neceſſitous, with the hidden riches therein, and that by my power I might not only have obliged every particular creature and perſon, according to their worth and merit, but to have made ſo firm a peace amongſt mankinde, as never to be diſſolved.

Exeunt.
Scene 261 Vvv1r 261

Scene 813.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

I wonder you ſhould be an Enemy to Women.

Satyrical

I am ſo far from being an Enemy to the Effeminate Sex, as I am the beſt friend they have: for I do as a friend ought to do, which is, to tell them the truth, when other men deceive them with flattery.

Inquiſitive

But they complain, and ſay you exclame and rail againſt them.

Satyrical

Their complaints proceed from their partial Self-love and Luxury: for they love pleaſing flattery, as they do Sweet-meats, and hate rigid truth, as they do a bitter potion, although the one deſtroys their health, the other prolongs their life.

Inquiſitive

But they are ſo angry, as they all ſwear, and have made a vow to be revenged on you.

Satyrical

Let them throw their ſpleens at me, I will ſtand their malice, or dart forth Amorous glances, they will not pierce my heart: for Pallas is my Shield, and Cupid hath no power.

Inquiſitive

If they cannot wound you with their Eyes, they will ſting you with their Tongues, for Women are like Bees.

Satyrical

If they are like Bees, their ſtings lie not in their Tongues.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Mother Matron, Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Faction, Ambition, Pleaſure

Matron

I can tell you News, Ladies.

Portrait

What News Mother Matron?

Matron

Why there is a rich young Heir come to town.

Superbe

Some fooliſh Son of a miſerable Father, who hath ſpared from his back and belly, to make his Son vain and prodigal. But what ſhall we be the better for this rich Heir?

Matron

Why marry if you can get him, you will be ſo much the better as a rich Husband can make you.

Ambition

He will firſt be got by the Cheats in the Town, which Cheats have more ſubtilty, and will be more induſtrious to get him, than the youngeſt and beautifulleſt, and wittyeſt Lady of us all; ſo as there is no hopes of gaining him, until he is ſo poor, as he is not worth the having.

Faction

But if he could be had whileſt he were rich, it were no great victory; for I dare ſay hi Mothers Landry-maid might be as ſoon a Conquereſs, as a great Lady: But if we could conquer and impriſon Monſieur Satyrical in Loves Fetters, that would be a Conqueſt worthy Fames Trumppet.

Vvv Pleaſure 262 Vvv1v 262

Pleaſure

O that would be ſuch an Exploit, as it would be an Honour to our Sex.

Bon’ Eſprit

There is nothing I deſire more, than to be ſhe that might infetter him.

Portrait

I long to inſnare him.

Ambition

So do I.

Bon’ Eſprit

Faith I will lay an Ambuſcado for him.

Matron

Fie Ladies, fie, I am aſham’d to hear the Deſigns you have to catch Monſieur Satyrical; ſuch Fair, Young, Noble Ladies to be ſo wanton, as none will content you but a wilde, rough, rude Satyr.

Bon’ Eſprit

If I were ſure there were no other ways to get him, I would become a Wood-nymph for his ſake.

Matron

You have forgot the Nymph that was turned into a Bear.

Bon’ Eſprit

O ſhe was one of cruel Diana’s Nymphs; but I will be none of her Order.

Matron

No, I dare ſwear you will not; for ’tis unlikely you ſhould, when you deſire to imbrace a Satyr.

Bon’ Eſprit

I do not deſire to imbrace him, but to enamour him.

Matron

Well, Ladies, your Parents gave you to my Care and Charge; but ſince you are ſo wilde, to talk of nothing but Nymphs, Woods, and Satyrs, I will reſigne up the Truſt which was impoſed on me, to your Parents again; for I will not adventure my Reputation with ſuch wanton young Ladies.

Bon’ Eſprit

Mother Matron, let me tell thee, thy Reputation is worn out of thee, time has devoured it, and therefore thou haſt no Reputation to loſe.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter Monſieur Cenſure, and Monſieur Frisk.

Frisk

Faith Tom. I have emptyed thy pockets.

Cenſure

Thou hasſt pick’d my pockets with thy juggling Dice, for which, if thou wert a woman, and in my power, I would be reveng’d for my loſs.

Frisk

Why, what would you do if I were a Woman?

Cenſure

I would condemn thee to a ſolitary ſilent life, which to a woman is worſe than Hell; for company and talking is their Heaven, and their Tongues are more reſtleſs than the Sea, their Paſſions more ſtormy than the Winds, and their Appetites more unſatiable and devouring than fire; they are lighter than Air, more changing than the Moon.

Frisk

What makes thee thus rail at the Effeminate Sex?

Cenſure

Have I not reaſon, when Fortune is of the ſame gender?

Enter Madamoiſelle Faction.

Frisk

Faith Tom, I muſt tell.

Faction

What will you tell?

Frisk 263 Vvv2r 263

Frisk

Why I will tell you, Lady, he hath rail’d moſt horribly againſt your Sex.

Faction

That is uſual: for all thoſe men which never received, nor hope to receive any favour from our Sex, will rail againſt it.

Cenſure

Thoſe men have no reaſon, Lady, to commend you, if they never received neither profit nor pleaſure from you; and thoſe that have been cruelly uſed by your Sex, may lawfully rail againſt it.

Faction

The Laws of Honour forbid it.

Cenſure

But the Laws of Nature allow it, and Nature is the moſt prevailing law.

Faction

Natures law is for Men to love Women, and Women Men, but in you and I there is not that Sympathy; for I diſlike your Sex, as much as you do ours, and could rail with as free a will againſt it. The truth is, that although I do not hate men, yet I deſpiſe them; for all men appear to me either Beaſt or Butter-flies, which are either ſenſual or vain: Indeed moſt men are worſe than beaſts; for beaſts are but according to their kind, when men are degenerated by beaſtly Senſualies, from which they were made; for as moſt men are worſe than beaſts, ſo you are worſe than moſt men.

Cenſure

It is a favour, Lady, from your Sex, to rail againſt ours: for it is a ſign you have conſidered us, and that we live in your memory, although with your ill opinions; yet it is better to live with Enemies, than not to be; and of all men, I have received the greateſt favour from the chiefeſt of your Sex, which is your ſelf, in that you have conſidered me moſt, though you have found me worſt, yet it proves you have thought of me.

Faction

If thoſe thoughts and diſpraiſes be favours, I will binde ſo many together, until they become as thick and hard as ſteel, of which you may make an Armour, to keep your Reputation from wounds of reproach.

She goes out.

Frisk

There Tom. ſhe hath paid thee both for thy Railings and Complements.

Cenſure

She hath not payd me in current coyn.

Frisk

It will paſs for digrace, I’ll warrent thee.

Exeunt.

Scene 16.

Enter Madam Ambititon, Faction, Portrait, Bon’ Eſprit, Pleaſure.

Bon’ Eſprit

There are but three things a gallant man requires, which is, a Horſe, a Sword, and a Miſtris.

Ambition

Yet a gallant man wants Generosity; for the greateſt honour for a man, is to be generous; for Generosity compriſes all Virtues, good Qualities, and ſweet Graces; for a generous man will never ſpare his life, purſe, nor labour, for the ſake of juſt Right, plain Truth, Honeſt Poverty; Diſtreſs, Miſery, or the like; for a generous man hath a couragious, yet compaſſionate Heart, a conſtant and noble Mind, a bountiful Hand, an active and induſtrious Life; and he is one that joyes more to do good, than others to receive good.

Vvv2 Pleaſure 264 Vvv2v 264

Pleaſure

There are few or none that have ſuch noble Souls, as to prefer anothers good before their own.

Portrait

The truth is, men have more promiſing Tongues, than performing deeds.

Faction

For all I can perceive, mans life is compoſed of nothing but deceit, treachery, and rapine.

Bon’ Eſprit

Indeed mans mind is like a Foreſt, and his thoughts, like wilde beaſt, inhabit therein.

Ambition

Mans Mind is like a Sea, where his Thoughts, like Fiſhes, ſwim therein, where ſome Thought are like huge Leviathans, others like great Whales, but ſome are like Sprats, Shrimps, and Minnues.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality.

Senſuality

What is like a Minnues?

Ambition

A mans Soul.

Senſuality

It is better have a ſoul, although no bigger than a Minnues, than none at all, as Women have; but if they have, I dare ſwear it is no bigger than a pins point.

Bon’ Eſprit

Very like, which point pricks down thoughts into the Brain, and Paſſions in the heart, and writes in the Brain witty Conceits, if the point be ſharp.

Senſuality

No, no, it ſerves onely to raiſe their brains with Vanity, to ingrave their hearts wiht Falſhood, and to ſcratch out their lives with Diſcontent.

Pleaſure

We oftner ſcratch out mens lives than our own.

Senſuality

Nay, you oftner ſcratch out our honour than our lives.

Faction

For my part, I have an itch to be ſcratching.

Senſuality

I believe you, for you have a vexatious ſoul.

Faction

It hath cauſe to be vexatious, for the point of my ſoul is whetted with Aqua Fortis againſt your Sex.

Senſuality

I’m ſure, Lady, your tongue is whetted with Aqua Fortis.

Faction

So is yours.

Senſuality

If it be, let us try which point is ſharpest.

Faction

I will leave the Trial to Time and Occaſion.

Exeunt.

Scene 17.

Enter Madam Superbe, and an Antient Woman.

Woman

Madam, I am an humble Suter to your Ladyſhip.

Superbe

What is your ſute?

Woman

That you will be pleaſed to take a young Maiden into you ſervice of my preferring.

Superbe

In what place?

Woman

To wait and attend on your perſon.

Superbe

Let me tell you, that thoſe ſervants that attend on my perſon, d uſually accompany me in all my Paſtimes, Exerciſes, and ſometimes in Converſation:verſation 265 Xxx1r 265 verſation: Wherefore they muſt be ſuch as are well born, well bred, well behav’d, modeſt, and of ſweet diſpoſitions, virtuous, and of ſtrict life, otherwiſe they are not for me; and I find them not ſo, I ſhall ſoon turn them away.

Woman

Why Madam, even Diana her ſelf, as ſevere and ſtrict as ſhe was, had ſome wanton Nymphs, that would commit errours; although they ſeemed all ſober and modeſt, and profeſs’d chaſtity, yet they would ſlip out of the way and her preſence ſometimes.

Superbe

But ſhe never failed to turn them out of her ſervice, and ſome ſhe cruelly puniſhed; ſo that what her ſerverity could not prevent, yet her ſeverity did puniſh; for Diana’s practice was not to watch her wanton Nymphs, nor to hunt out their evil haunts, or lurking-places, to ſee their evil actions, but her practice was to hunt the more modeſt and temperate creatures, which were the beaſts of the Fields and Foreſts: So, like as Diana, I ſhall not watch my Maids, nor pardon their rude or diſhonourable actions.

Woman

Pray Madam try this Maid, for ſhe is very honourably born, and well bred, but poor.

Superbe

I ſhall not refuſe her for poverty: But as I will have ſome bound for the truth and truſt of my vulgar ſervants, ſo I will have ſome bound for the behaviour, virtue, and modeſty of my honourable ſervants, or elſe I will not take them.

Exeunt.

Act III.

Scene 18.

Enter Mother Matron, and meets Monſieur Frisk.

Matron

Monſieur Frisk, you are well met, for I was even now ſending a Footman for you.

Frisk

For what, good Mother Matron?

Matron

Marry to come to a company of young Ladies, who do half long for you.

Frisk

They ſhall not loſe their longing, if I can help them.

Matron

Now by my Troth, and that is ſpoke like a Gentleman; but let me tell you, there is a great many of them.

Frisk

Why then there is the more choice.

Matron

But there no chooſing amongſt Ladies, you muſt take better for worſe.

Frisk

There is no worſt amongſt Ladies, they are all fair and good.

Matron

Yfaith I perceive now why the Ladies deſire your company ſo much as they do.

Frisk

Why my dear Mother Matron?

Matron

Becauſe you ſpeak well of them behind their backs, and promiſe them much to their faces; and I will aſſure you, they have a promiſingXxx miſing 266 Xxx1v 266 miſing faces as you can promiſe them; but great Promiſers are not good.

Frisk

Will you ſay the Ladies faces are not good?

Matron

I ſay mens promiſes are not good. But you are very quick with me, Monſieur Frisk, to take me upon the hip ſo ſuddenly; but, beſhrew me, your ſudden frisking Anſwer hath put me into a Paſſion, which hath perturbed the ſenſe of my Diſcourſe. Lord, Lord, what power a villanous word hath over the paſſions!

Frisk

If you pleaſe, Mother Matron, a kiſs ſhall ask pardon for your villanous word.

Matron

And now, by my troth, I have not been kiſs’d by a young Gentleman above this twenty years; but now I am in haſte, and cannot ſtay to receive your gift, wherefore I will refer it until another time.

Frisk

But I may forget to give it.

Matron

Never fear that, for I ſhall remember you of it, when time ſhall ſerve: But come away, for the Ladies will be horrible angry I have ſtayd ſo long, for they were all going to dance, for the Fiddles were tuned, Tables and Stools removed, room made, and they in a dancing poſture, only they ſtay for you to Frisk them about.

Exeunt.

Scene 19.

Enter Madam Superbe, and Flattery her Maid.

Flattery

Madam, you behav’d your ſelf more familiar to day, than your Ladyſhip was wont to do.

Superbe

’Tis true, becauſe thoſe I convers’d with to day were but inferiour perſons, and I ſpeak more familiar to ſuch perſons as are below my quality, than thoſe that are equal to me, to do them grace and favour; and if they take it not ſo, I can onely ſay my Civility was ignorantly placed on fooliſh and ignorant perſons.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Faction, Ambition.

Portrait

Some ſay Poems are not good, unleſſe they be gloriouſly Attired.

Faction

What do they mean by glorious Attire?

Ambition

Rhetorick.

Bon’ Eſprit

Why gay words are not Wit, no more than a fair Face is a good Soul; and it is Wit which makes Poems good, not words.

Ambition

Indeed Rhetorick is no part of the Body of Wit, no more than of the Soul, only it is the outward garment, which is Taylors work.

Bon’ Eſprit

Then it ſeems, as if the Grammarians, Logicians, and Rhetoricians, are the Taylors for Oratory, who cut ſhapes, fit places, ſeam and few 267 Xxx2r 267 few words together to make ſeveral Eloquent Garments, or Garments of Eloquence, as Orations, Declarations, Expreſſions, and the like worditive work, as they pleaſe, or at leaſt according to the faſhion.

Ambition

They are ſo.

Portrait

Why then thoſe that ſay Verſe is not good, unleſs gloriouſly Attyr’d, do as much as to ſay a man is a fool that hath not a fine Suit of Cloaths on, or, that a Curl’d Hair, ſweetly powder’d, is a wiſe, or witty Brain, powder’d with Fancies. This ſurely is an unpardonable miſtake, or rather an incurable madneſſe, for there is neither Senſe not Reaſon in it.

Bon’ Eſprit

It is not ſo much a madneſs, nor that we call Natural Fools, but Amorous Fools, or Finical Fools, or ſuch as are Opinionated Fools, or Self-conceited Fools, or High-bound Fools.

Portrait

High-bound Fools? What doe you mean by High-bound Fools?

Bon’ Eſprit

Strong-lin’d Fools.

Faction

Thoſe are Learned Fools.

Bon Eſprit

No, they are Conceited Fools; for their ſtrength of Wit lies in a Conceit.

Ambition

Thoſe, for the moſt part, their Wit is buried in Oblivion.

Faction

If there be any Wit to bury.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality.

Senſuality

Who is ſo fooliſh to bury Wit?

Faction

You, in the rubbiſh of words.

Portrait

The only Grave to Wit is a fooliſh Ear.

Senſuality

Let me tell you, Ladies, that Wit is ſo far from lying in a Grave, as it hardly ſettles any where; for it is ſo Agile, and flies ſo ſwiftly, and yet extends in breadth ſo far, as it ſpreads the wings of Fancy, not only over all the World, and every particular thing in the World, but one Infinite and Eternal Nature, and with the Bill of Conception picks a hole, whereby the Eyes of Imagination ſpy out the dark Dungeons of Pluto, and the glorious Manſions of Jove.

Portrait

Then Poems need not the garments of Rhetorick.

Senſuality

No more than a Fair Lady: And as for my part, I like Poems as I like a Woman, beſt uncloathed, for then I am ſure they cannot deceive or delude me with falſe and feigned Shews.

Exeunt.

Scene 21.

Enter Madamoiſelle Pleaſure, and Grave Temperance, and her Woman.

Temperance

Madam, will you pleaſe to go abroad, and take the cool refreſhing Air to day?

Pleaſure

Yes, Temperance, if you will; but I had rather ſtay and entertain Monſieur Serious Contemplations company.

Xxx2 Tem- 268 Xxx2v 268

Temperance

Indeed Madam I will forbid his frequent Viſits; for otherwiſe you will bury your ſelf in his melancholy Converſation.

Pleaſure

Pray do not, for he is the greateſt delight in life.

Temperance

And then he brings ſuch a numerous Train of Fancies and Opinions, as fills up your Head, which is the largeſt room in your bodily houſe; inſomuch, as none of your domeſtick Thoughts, which are the Minds uſefulleſt ſervants, can ſtir about your lifes ordinary affairs.

Pleaſure

Why Temperance, Fancies are pretty youths, which make harmleſs and innocent ſport, to paſs the time away.

Temperance

We have ſo little time, as we ſhall not need to paſſe it idly away.

Pleaſure

As much as we complain of want of time, we have more than we can tell well how to ſpend.

Temperance

Then pray forbid Monſieur Serious Contemplation not to bring his wilde, ſtubborn, and uſleſs Opinions; for they make more diſorder, and louder noiſe, and greater Factions, than if all the Dogs and Bears, in the Town were ſet together by the ears, and more miſchief comes thereby, than I can rectifie.

Enter Liberty, and Madamoiſelle Pleaſures Gentleman-Uſher.

Pleaſure

Now Liberty, you are a Fore-runner of Viſitants.

Liberty

Yes Madam, for there are the five Siſtres, the five Senſes, come to viſit you.

Pleaſure

They are the troubleſomeſt Viſitants that are; they are ſo extravagant, ſo impertinent, ſo various, and ſo humourſome, as I know not how to entertain them: But pray Liberty uſher them into the Gallery where my pictures hang, drawn by the Rareſt and moſt Famous Maſters; and let the Room be ſweetly perfum’d, and bring a Banquet of the moſt delicious and choiſeſt Drinks and Meats, and let there be fine linnen Napkins, and ſpread all the Floor over with downy Carpets, and ſet ſoft Cuſhions on the Couches, and whileſt they are there, let the Muſick ſound harmoniouſly, with ſoft ſtrokes, pleaſing notes, and gentle ſtrains: And Temperance, I deſire you to Order the reſt of the Entertainment, and let Eaſe wait upon you: As for you, Wanton and Surfet, I forbid you, as not to come into their Company.

Exit Lady and Temperance.

Wanton

Always when my Lady makes a great Entertainment, we are forbid to appear.

Surfet

Although my Lady forbids me, yet the Company never leaves until they have found me out, ſo that I am ſtill at the end of the Entertainment, like an Epilogue to a Play.

Wanton

And I ſometimes come in like a Chorus.

Exeunt.
Scene 269 Yyy1r 269

Scene 22.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Faction, Monſieur Heroick, Monſieur Frisk.

Portrait

O that I might have my wiſh!

Ambition

What would you wiſh?

Portrait

I would wiſh to be the only Beauty.

Heroick

And if I might have my wiſh, I would wiſh to conquer all the World, and then to divide it to the Meritorious, and not to rule it my ſelf: for I deſire not the Power, but the Fame.

Bon’ Eſprit

And if I might have my wiſh, I would wiſh to be the Supremeſt Wit in Nature.

Frisk

You three are ſympathetical in Ambition; for one deſires to incaptive all Hearts with her Beauty; the other deſires to conquer all the World with his Valour; the third deſires to confute all Mankinde with her Wit.

Heroick

And what do you wiſh, Madamoiſelle Ambition?

Ambition

I wiſh I were Deſtiny, to link you all three together.

Faction

Come leave your wiſhing, and let us go to ſee the Monſter that is to be ſeen.

Bon Eſprit

The moſt moſtrous Creature I imagine, is a headleſs Maid.

Frisk

What is that, a devirginated Maid?

Bon’ Eſprit

Yes.

Ambition

When she is devirginated, she is no Maid.

Bon’ Eſprit

O yes; for as a Wife is one that is maried, a Widow one that hath been maried, ſo a Maid is one that was never maried, and a Virgin is one that never knew man, and a headleſs Maid is one that hath loſt her Virginity, and yet was never maried.

Faction

If a devirginated Maid be a headleſs Monſter, in the World there are many headleſs Monſters.

Heroick

But the beſt of it is, Lady, their Monſtroſity is invisible.

Bon’ Eſprit

You ſay true; but they are not monſtrous in Nature, but in Vice, for they are transformed by their Crimes.

Ambition

So are Drunkards.

Bon’ Eſprit

They are ſo; for all Curtezans and Drunkards are beaſts: For though a Drunkard is not a headleſs beaſt, yet he is a brainleſs beaſt.

Portrait

But what Monſter is that you would have us to ſee?

Faction

Why a woman with a Hogs face.

Bon’ Eſprit

Then ’tis likely she hath a Sows diſpoſition. But howſoever let us go.

Exeunt.
Yyy Scene 270 Yyy1v 270

Scene 23.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

One witty word, or ſaying from a fool, is, for the moſt part remembred, and often repeated, when from a Wit it would be hardly taken notice of.

Satyrical

There is a reaſon for that: for wit is more remarkable from fools, than thoſe that have natural wits.

Enter Mother Matron.

Matron

Monſieur Satyrical, I am come with a Meſſage from a company of fair young Ladies; the Meſſage is this: They deſire that you would do them the favour to come to them, to judge a Poem which they have made amongſt themſelves.

Satyrical

Women make Poems? burn them, burn them; let them make bone-lace, let them make bone-lace.

Inquiſitive

You are an unjuſt Judge, to condemn their Poems to the fire, before you have examin’d them.

Satyrical

The beſt tryal of a Ladies wit is the fire; beſides, the fire will ſupply that want of Poetical heat which should make Poems; which heat womens brains cannot ſuffer.

Matron

You are miſtaken Sir, and miſ-inform’d: for we women have as hot brains as any of the Maſculine Sex of you all have.

Satyrical

I grant your Sex have an unnatural heat, which makes them all mad.

Matron

I think the Ladies were mad when they ſent me for you.

Satyrical

No doubt of it, and you are mad for coming.

Matron

Your words will make me mad before I go away, although I came well-temper’d hither: beſhrew me my very bones do quiver in my fleſh to hear you.

Satyrical

If thy bones quiver ſo much as to ſhake, they will ſoon powder into duſt: for Age hath almoſt diſſolv’d thee into aſhes already, and Time hath eaten off thy fleſh, as Crows do carrion.

Matron

Out upon thee Satyr, a beaſtly man you are by my Troth, and ſo I will deliver you to the Ladies.

Satyrical

You ſhall not deliver me to the Ladies, I will deliver my ſelf to Death firſt.

Matron

Thou art ſo bad, Death will refuſe thee: but I will do your Errand I’ll warrant you, I’ll ſet a mark upon you that ſhall diſgrace you.

Satyrical

Thou canſt not ſet a fouler mark than thy ſelf upon me, therefore come not near me.

Matron

Worſe and worſe, worſe and worſe. O that I were ſo young and fair, as my Beauty might get me a Champion to revenge my quarrel! But I will go back to the Ladies, they are fair and young enough, as being in the Spring of Beauty, although I am in my Autumnal years.

Satyrical

Thou are in the midſt of the Winter of thine Age, and the Snow of Time is fallen on thy head, and lies upon thy hair.

Matron 271 Yyy2r 271

Matron

They that will not live untill they are old, the Proverb ſayes, They must be hang’d when they are young, and I hope it is your Deſtiny.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter Liberty, and Wanton, and Surfet.

Liberty

I am come to tell you, Wanton and Surfet, that my Lady is gone to receive the Viſit of Monſieur Tranquillities Peace, who is come to ſee her, and old Matron Temperance is gone to wait upon her; wherefore you may go, for there is none left with the five Senſes but Exceſs.

They run out, then enters the Five Senſes in AntickDreſſes, to diſtinguiſh them, but they behave themſelves as mad-merry, dancing about in Couples, as Hearing with Wantonneſs, Idle with Scent, and Exceſs with Sight, and Surfet with Taſte, and Touch dances alone by herſelf, and when they have danced, they go out. Exeunt.

Scene 25.

Enter Bon’ Eſprit, Superbe, Faction, Portrait, Ambition.

Faction

I wonder Mother Matron ſhould ſtay ſo long.

Portrait

I cannot gueſs at the reaſon.

Bon’ Eſprit

She might have deliver’d her Meſſage twice in this time.

Enter Mother Matron; All the Ladies ſpeak at once.

Ladies

Mother Matron, Welcome, welcome, welcome: What Newes? what Newes?

Faction

What ſays Monſieur Satyrical?

Bon’ Eſprit

Will he come?

Portrait

Or will he not come? pray ſpeak.

Superbe

Are you dumb, Mother Matron?

Matron

Pray Ladies give me ſome time to temper my paſſion; for if a houſe be ſet on fire, there is required ſome time to quench it.

Ambition

But ſome fires cannot be quenched.

Matron

Indeed my fire of Anger is ſomething of the nature of the unquenchable fire of Hell, which indeavours to afflict the Soul, as well as to torment the Body.

Superbe

Jove bleſs us, Mother Matron! Are you inflamed with Hellfire?

Matron

How ſhould I be otherwiſe, when I have been tormented with a Devil?

Yyy2 Ambi- 272 Yyy2v 272

Ambition

Jupiter keep us! What have you done, and with whom have you been?

Matron

Marry I have been with a cloven-tongu’d Satyr, who is worſe, far worſe, than a cloven-footed Devil.

Bon’ Eſprit

Is all this rage againſt Monſieur Satyrical?

Matron

Yes marry is it, and all too little, by reaſon it cannot hurt him.

Faction

How hath he offended you?

Matron

As he hath offended you all, railed againſt you, moſt horribly railed againſt you: He ſays you are all mad, and hath condemned your Poems to the fire, and your imployment to the making of bone-lace.

Bon’ Eſprit

Why theſe ſaying of his do not offend me.

Ambition

Nor me.

Portrait

Nor me.

Superbe

Nor me.

Matron

But if he had ſaid you had been old, and ill-favour’d, carrion for Crows, duſt and aſhes for the grave, as he ſaid to me, then you would have been as angry as I.

Bon’ Eſprit

No truly, I ſhould have only laughed at it.

Faction

By your favour, I ſhould have been as angry as Mother Matron, if I had been as old as ſhe; for I ſhould have been concerned in the behalf of my Age.

Matron

Marry come up, are you turned Lady Satyrical, to upbraid me with my Age? Is this my reward for my jaunting and trotting up and down with your idle Meſſage to more idle perſons, men that are meer Jackſtraws, flouting companions, railing detractors, ſuch as are good for nothing but to put people together by the ears?

Faction

By the Effects it proves ſo, for you and I are very neer falling out: But I thought you would have given me thanks for what I ſaid, as taking your part, and not inveterates your ſpleen.

Matron

Can you expect I ſhould give you thanks for calling me old? Can the report of Age be acceptable to the Effeminate Sex? But Lady, let me tell you, if you live you will be as old as I, and yet deſire to be thought young: For although you were threeſcore, yet you would be very angry, nay in a furious rage, and take thoſe to be your mortal Enemies that ſhould reckon you to be above one and twenty, for you will think your ſelf as beautiful as one of fifteen.

Faction

I do not think ſo, although I believe our Sex have good opinions of themſelves, even to the laſt gaſp; yet not ſo partial, as to imagine themſelves as one of fifteen at threeſcore.

Matron

It is proved by all Experience, that all Mankind is ſelf-conceited, eſpecially the Effeminate Sex; and ſelf-conceit doth caſt a fair ſhadow on a foul face, and fills up the wrinkles of Time with the paint of Imagination.

Portrait

But the Eyes muſt be blind with Age, or elſe they would ſee the wrinkles Time hath made, in the deſpight of the paint of Imagination.

Superbe

By your favour, Self-conceit does cauſe the Eyes of Senſe to be like falſe glaſſes, that caſt a youthful gloſs, and a fair light, on a wither’d skin: For though the deep lines in the face cannot be ſmoothed, yet the lines, or ſpecies, in, or of the ſight, may be drawn by ſelf-conceit ſo ſmall as not to be perceived: And were it not for the Eyes of Self-conceit, and the Paint of Imagination, as Mother Matron says, which preſerves a good Opinionnion 273 Zzz1r 273 nion of our ſelves, even to the time of our Death, wherein all remembrance is buried, we ſhould grow mad, as we grow old, for the loſſe of our Youth and Beauty.

Matron

I by my faith you would grow mad, did not Conceit keep you in your right wits.

Faction

The truth is, our Sex grow melancholy, when out Beauty decayes.

Portrait

I grow melancholy at the talking of it.

Ambition

Let us ſpeak of ſome other ſubject that is more pleaſing than Age, Ruine, and Death.

Bon’ Eſprit

Let us talk of Monſieur Satyrical again.

Matron

He is a worſe ſubject to talk of than Death.

Bon’ Eſprit

As bad as he is, you ſhall carry another Meſſage to him.

Matron

I will ſooner carry a Meſſage to Pluto; for in my Conſcience he will uſe me more civilly, and will ſend you a more reſpectful Anſwer than Monſieur Satyrical.

Bon’ Eſprit

Indeed I have heard that the Devil would flatter; but I never heard that a Satyrical Poet would flatter.

Matron

But a Satyrical Poet will lye, and ſo will the Devil; and therefore talk no more of them, but leave, them together.

Exeunt.

Scene 26.

Enter Temperance, and Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Pleaſure.

O Temperance, I am diſcredited for ever, the Ladies the Senſes are all ſick: What ſhall I do?

Temperance

You muſt ſend for ſome Doctors.

Pleaſure

What Doctors ſhall I ſend for?

Temperance

Why Old Father Time, he hath practiſed long, and hath great Experience; then there is Reſt and Sleep, two very good ; ſafe Doctors.

Pleaſure

Send Eaſe preſently to fetch them, bid her make haſte.

Exeunt. Enter the five Senſes, as being very ſick, yet Touch ſeems not ſo ſick as melancholy: They all paſs ſilently over the Stage. Enter Temperance, and Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Pleaſure

Temperance, are the Doctors come?

Temperance

Yes, and gone again.

Pleaſure

And what have they preſcribed?

Temperance

Abſtinence.

Pleaſure

And will that cure them?

Temperance

They ſay it will prove a perfect cure: Probatum eſt.

Pleaſure

The next act I do, ſhall be to turn away Wanton, Idle, Exceſs, and Surfet.

Zzz Temperance 274 Zzz1v 274

Temperance

You will hardly get them out of your Service, although you ſhould beat them out.

Exeunt.

Act IV.

Scene 27.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, and her Waiting-woman.

Woman

Madam, me thinks Monſieur Vain-glorious is a very proper man, and would be a fit Match for your Ladyſhip.

Ambition

Let me tell you, I will never marry a man whoſe Soul hath Vacuum; but that man I would marry, ſhould have a ſoul filled with Natures beſt Extractions; his Head the Cabinet of Natures wiſeſt Counſels, and curiouſeſt Fancies; his Heart the Treaſury of Natures pureſt, currenteſt, and Heroick Virtue: For if ever I marry, I will have a Husband that is able to govern Kingdoms, to Marſhal Armies, to Fight Battels, and Conquer Nations; and not a ſelf-conceited Fool, or fantaſtical Gallant, ſuch as ſpeaks ranting Words, wears flanting Cloaths, walks with a proud Garb, looks with a diſdainful Countenance, Courts Miſtriſſes, loves Flatteries, hates Superiors, and ſcorns Inferiors, keeps a greater Retinue than his Revenue will maintain, who like moths, eat through the cloth of his Eſtate, and he like another fly, plays ſo long in his Vain-glorious Flame, until he is conſumed therein, ſpending with an open purſe, and prodigal vanity, and yet receives with a covetous hand: So Vanity flies and flutters about in the heat of Proſperity, and dies in the Winter of Adverſity. No, I will have a Husband, if ever I have any, whoſe Minde is ſettled like the Centre, which can neither riſe nor fall with good or bad Fortune; and not a little Soul in a narrow Heart, and witleſs Brain.

Exeunt.

Scene 28.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and another Gentleman.

Gentlem

Sir, I deſire you will pardon me; but I am commanded to bring you here a Challenge.

Gives it.

Satyrical

Are you the Second, Sir?

Gentlem

No Sir.

He reads.

Satyrical

Are you a Pimp, Sir?

Gentlem

I ſcorn your baſe words, for I am a Gentleman.

Satyrical

Many a Gentleman ſcorns baſe words, but not baſe Actions.

Gentleman 275 Zzz2r 275

Gentlem

I ſcorn both baſe words, and baſe Actions.

Satyrical

It doth not ſeem ſo by the Challenge you have brought.

Gentlem

Why, what is the Challenge?

Satyrical

The Challenge is from a Woman, and I will read it to you. He reads the Challenge. Monſieur Satyrical,I Challenge you, and am reſolv’d to fight,Not in the Field of Mars, as Champion Knight,Nor in the Court of Venus will I be,But to the Lifts of Mercury Challenge thee:Where all the Muſes will Spectators ſit,To Judge which is the great’ſt Victor of Wit.The Weapons which we fight with muſt be Words,For I a woman am, not us’d to Swords:Cuſtome and Education leave us bareTo Natures Arms, the Arms of Death we fear.Your Servant,Bon’ Eſprit

Satyrical

Theſe two laſt Lines make you a Pimp, Sir.

Gentlem

I muſt be contented, for there is no Revenge to be taken againſt Ladies: But Mother Matron had been a more properer Meſſenger than I for this Challenge.

Satyrical

I ſhall ſend my Anſwer by a more inferiour perſon than you are, and ſo ſhall take my leave for this time.

Gentlem

Your Servant.

Exeunt.

Scene 29.

Enter Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Faction, Ambition, Superbe.

Faction

All Poets and Muſicians are mad, more or leſs: for Madneſs is cauſed by a diſtemper of the Brain, like as the Pulſe, which beats quicker than the natural motion.

Bon’ Eſprit

You miſtake madneſs; for madneſs is not cauſed by the quickneſs of motion, but by the irregularity of the motion: And as for Poetical and Muſical Motions, although they are quick, yet they keep Time, Tune and Order, when thoſe Motions that cauſe madneſs do not: But the quickmoving brains of Poets are cauſed by their lively ; elevated Spirits, which are Active and Induſtrious, always creating for delight or profit, as Verſes, Fancies, Scenes, Sonnets, or inventing Arts: And if you account theſe Ingenious and Divine Spirits to be mad, I ſhall deſire to be mad too, as they are.

Faction

But ſome Spirits are ſo quick, that they out run all Invention.

Bon’ Eſprit

Thoſe are neither the ſpirits of Poets nor Muſicians; not but that Poets and Muſicians may be mad as other men, but their madneſs is not Zzz2 cauſed 276 Zzz2v 278276 cauſed by the Poetical and Harmonical ſpirits, but ſome other defects of the brain, or diſtemper of the ſpirits; but there are many mad, that are ſo far from Poetical Fancies, or Muſical skill, or Inventions, as they can neither conceive the one, or learn the other, or underſtand either; but Muſick and Poetry have oft-times cured madneſs, and certainly are the beſt and moſt excellent Phyſicians for that diſeaſe: For though madneſs is but one and the ſame diſeaſe, as madneſs, yet the Cauſes and Effects are divers.

Superbe

A Feaver in the Brain cauſeth madneſs.

Bon’ Eſprit

It rather cauſeth madneſs to have outragious Effects; but a cold brain may be mad: But it is neither heat nor cold that cauſeth madneſs, but the irregularity of the Spirits.

Ambition

But heat and cold may cauſe the irregularity of the Spirits: for as cold Livers make the Veins like ſtanding ponds, which putrifies the blood for want of motion; ſo very cold Brains may be like Snow or Ice, to obſtruct or bind the Spirits, hindring the regular motions.

Bon’ Eſprit

You ſay right, and that is a ſtupid madneſs: And as a hot Liver may boyl and inflame the blood, ſo hot Brains may inflame the Spirits, cauſing Combuſtious Motions, as Thundring, which is a raging madneſſe.

Enter Monſieur Cenſurer.

Cenſure

Who is raging-mad?

Faction

A deſpairing Lover.

Cenſure

Hang him in his Miſtris Frowns, or ſtrangle him in the Cords of her Cruelty.

Superbe

Would you be ſerved ſo?

Cenſure

Yes, when I am a mad Lover: For I had rather die than be in love with a hard-hearted Miſtris; for of the two I had rather imbrace death than Court her, in which Courtſhip I ſhould be Transform’d, or Metamorphos’d into many ſeveral things: As I ſhould be a River of Lovers Tears, a Ventidock of Lovers Sighs, an Aquaduct of Lovers Griefs, and a Chilling grotto of Lovers Fears; and rather than I would endure theſe Tranſformations, I would be well contented to be annihilated.

Ambition

O Fie, had you rather be nothing than a Lover?

Cenſure

I had rather be nothing, than a thing worſe than nothing.

Faction

Well, I hope to ſee you a deſperate Lover at one time or other.

Cenſure

I hope not, for I have no cauſe to fear: for my Mind cannot be perſwaded by my Fancy, or forced by my Appetites, not betrayed by my Senſes; for Reaſon governs my brain, Temperance rules my Appetites, Prudence guards my Senſes, and Fortitude keeps the poſſeſſion and Fort of my Heart.

Faction

Love will unthrone Reaſon, corrupt Temperance, bribe Prudence, and beat Fortitude out of the Fort of your Heart.

Cenſure

For fear of that I will leave you, Ladies.

Exit. Enter 277 Aaaa1r 277 Enter Mother Matron.

Matron

News, News, Monſieur Satyrical hath vouchſaf’d to return you an Anſwer to your Challenge.

Bon’ Eſprit

Who brought it?

Matron

A ſcrubbed fellow in a thred-bare cloak, the reſt of the Ladies ſay. Read it, read it, Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

She reads it to them.

Lady, you Challeng’d me in Arms to fight, Appoint the place, the beſt time is at night For Natural Duellers; yet I ſubmit, And ſhall obey to what hour you think fit: I am content my Health for to engage, And venture Life to ſatisfie your rage. I am no Coward, I am not afraid To fight a Duel with a young fair Maid, Although old Mother Matron ſhe ſhould be Your Second, for to Judge what ſhe doth ſee.

Matron

He makes me the ſcurvy burthen of his more ſcurvy Verſe, and ſcurrilous Anſwer: But I hope this Anſwer of his to your Challenge, will inveterate your ſpleen as much as his upbraiding my Age did mine.

Bon’ Eſprit

I have not ſuch reaſon to be ſo concern’d as you are; for I am honeſt, though you are old.

Matron

May the Infamy of Vice wither the Bloſſoms of Youth, as Age doth the Flowers of Beauty, that there may be an equal return of Reproach.

Bon’ Eſprit

Indeed there is ſome Reciprocalneſs in Vice and Age.

Matron

No, Vice and Youth are Reciprocal.

Ambition

But I ſee no Reciprocalneſſe betwixt Love and Monſieur Satyrical.

Bon’ Eſprit

I make no doubt but to bring Monſieur Satyrical into Cupid’s ſnare.

Faction

You may ſooner bring your ſelf into Vulcan’s Net.

Bon’ Eſprit

Well, mark the end and ſucceſs.

Superbe

Nay, rather we ſhall mark the endleſs folly.

Exeunt.

Scene 30.

Enter Madamoiſelle Pleaſure, and Monſieur Vain-glorious.

Vain-glorious

Lady Pleaſure, you are the ſwetſt young Lady in the World, and the only delight in life.

Pleaſure

O Sir, you give a Wooers ſentence, and ſelf-love hath bribed your Judgment: for moſt ſpeak partially, according to their Affections, and not according to Truth.

Aaaa Vain- 278 Aaaa1v 278

Vain-glor

Truth is a prating, preaching, tatling, twatling Goſſip, and tells many times that which would be better conceal’d.

Pleaſure

Truth is the Eye of Knowledge, which brings men out of Ignorance: It is the Scale of Juſtice, the Sword of Execution, the Reward of Merit: It is the Bond of Proporiety, and the Seal of Honeſty.

Vain-glor

Truth is a Tyrant, condemning more than ſhe ſaves.

Pleaſure

She condemns none but Fools, Knaves, Cowards, Irreligious, Licentious, and Vain-glorious perſons, to be unworthy, baſe, falſe, and wicked.

Exit. Vain-glorious alone.

Vain-glorious

She condemns Pleaſure; for truly there is no ſuch thing as Pleaſure.

Exit.

Scene 31.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical alone.

Satyrical

I muſt marry, or bury ſucceſſion in my Grave; but it’s dangerous, very dangerous. O Nature, Nature, hadſt thou no other way to Create a man, unleſs thou mad’ſt a woman! But if thou wert forc’d by the Fates to make that Sex, yet thou hadſt liberty to make her a conſtant Mind; but thou are inconſtant thy ſelf, as being of female kind: But ſince I muſt marry, Diſcretion ſhall make the Choiſe, which will chooſe Virtue before Wealth, Wit before Beauty, Breeding before Birth; if ſhe hath Virtue, ſhe will be Chaſte; if ſhe hath Wit, ſhe will be Converſable; if ſhe hath good Breeding, ſhe will be modeſt and well-behav’d. But where is that woman that is virtouſly Chaſte, wittily Converſable, and Modeſtly behav’d? If any woman be thus, as I would have her, it is Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit, ſhe ſeems to have a Noble Soul by her Honourable Actions, which women, for the moſt part, are ſo far from, as they ſeem, for the moſt part, to have no ſouls at all, by their mean and petty actions: Alſo ſhe hath a Supernatural Wit, I mean ſupernatural, as being a woman; and her Wit is not only Ingenious, but Judicious, by which ſhe will ſet a value on ſubjects of Merit and Worth, and deſpiſe thoſe that are baſe; when fools know not how to prize the beſt, but chuſe that is bad, not knowing what is good, ſo walk in Errours ways, which leads unto diſhonour; but ſhe, having Wit and Honour, knows the benefit of Honeſty ſo well, as ſhe will be Chaſte for her own ſake, were it not for her Husbands. But I moſt ſatyrically have tranſlated he ſweet and harmleſs mirth, which was preſented in her Elevated Verſe into a wanton Interpretation. Diana, thou Goddeſs of Chaſtity, pardon me? But ſtay thoughts, whither wander you? let me examine you before you paſs any farther, as whether or no you are not led by the bow-ſtring of Cupid, or the girdle of Venus, into the foul paths of vain deſires, and deluding beauty, to the labyrinth of deſtruction, there to be kept and incaptivated by the intanglements and ſubtill windings, and turnings, and various paſſages of Amorous Love? But a ſtrict Examination requires Time, and a juſt Judge 279 Aaaa2r 279 Judge decides not a Cauſe without Debate; therefore I will have another Contemplation of Conſideration, before I addreſs my Sute, or make known my Deſires.

Exit.

Scene 32.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, and Monſieur Vain glorious.

Vain-glor

Madam, why ſhould you refuſe me?

Ambition

Becauſe I cannot love.

Vain-glor

Not love me? why I am Valiant, Wiſe, Witty, Honeſt, Generous, and Handſome: And where will you find a man where all theſe Excellencies do meet in one?

Ambition

Now you have bragg’d of your ſelf, I will plainly prove to you, that you are neither perfectly Valiant, nor Wiſe, nor Witty, nor Generous, nor truly Honeſt.

Vain-glor

You cannot.

Ambition

I can: And firſt for Valour. Have you gone to the Wars, and fought? why, millions do the like, and a poor Common Souldier will venture for ſixpence on that which a vain Cavalier will hardly do to gain an immortal Fame: Or peradventure you have fought Duels, why every Drunkard will do as much, who in their drink they not reaſon to conſider Valour, which is only to fight for the ſake of Honour; but moſt commonly Duels are fought through Anger, or Fear, or Scorn, or Revenge, or the like, which is not true valour, buty they fight rather like beaſt than men, as with Force, Fury, or Appetite, cauſed by natural Antipathies, or through the heat of the blood, or deſires or diſlikes of the Senſes: whereas true Valour is juſt, temperate, patient, prudent, and is the Heroick part, or Virtue of the Soul: And to be valiant, is to fight for the right of Truth, and the defence of Innocency, without Partiality, Covetouſneſs, or Ambition: Alſo to prove your ſelf Valiant, have you received misfortunes with patience, and ſuffred torments with fortitude? Have you forgiven your Enemies, or ſpared a bloody Execution for humanities ſake, or releas’d rich priſoners without Ranſome, and poor without ſlavery? Have you heard your ſelf ſlanderd with Patience, juſtify’d your wrongs with Temperance, fought your Enemies without Anger, maintained your Honour without Vain-glory, then you are Valiant.

And for Wiſedome, what do you call Wiſedome? to ſpeak Hebrew, Greek, and Latine, and not underſtand them? or to underſtand them, and cannot ſpeak them? Or to cite dead Authors? Or to repeat their Learned Opinions? Or to make Sophiſterian Diſputes? Or to ſpeak Latine Sentences? Or to tell ſtories out of Hiſtories? Or to write ſeveral Hands? Or to ſpell with true Orthography? Or to talk of the Sciences, but ſtudy none? Or to talk Morality, but practice none? This you may call Learned, but not Wiſedome. But to be Wiſe, Have you ſettled a Kingdome in peace, and put it in order, when it was imbrovled with with Civil Wars, or inſnared with confuſed and intangled Laws? Or have you appeaſed a mutinous and halfſtarv’d Army? Have you led an Army with Order, pitchd a Field with Art, Aaaa2 fought 280 Aaaa2v 280 fought a Battel with Prudence, or have made a ſafe and honourable Retreat? Or have you ſo provident, as to relieve Famine with fore-ſtor’d proviſions? Or to prevent misſfortunes with fore-ſight? Or have you diſtinguiſhed a Cauſe clearly, or given an upright Judgment? Or have you delivered judicious Counſel, and given ſeaſonable and ſuitable Admonitions? Have you compoſed a Common-wealth, or made profitable Laws to uphold a Common-wealth? Have you defended a Common-wealth from Enemies, or purged a Common-wealth from Factions? Have you made Officers worthy of Imployments, Magiſtrates, able to Govern, Souldiers skilful to Command? Have you fitly matched men and buſineſs, and offices with men? Have you imploy’d the idle, and given light to the ignorant? Have you diſcharged a Common-wealth of Superfluity, or ſuperfluous Commodities, and brought in thoſe which are more uſeful, ſuch as they have wanted? Have you Manured a barren Country, or inrich’d a poor Kingdome? Have you made honeſt Aſſociats, faithful Agreements, and ſafe Traffiques? Then you may think your ſelf Wiſe, and be ſilent; for the Actions will proclame it.

Alſo what do you call Wit? Imitating Extravagancies like a Jackanapes, or a Buffoon, to extort the Countenance with making wry faces? Or with much laughter to ſhew the teeth, which perchance are all rotten in the head? Or fooliſhly to divulge the infirmities of particular perſons in an open Aſſembly? Or putting Innocency or Youth out of Countenance? Or to diſturb the Serious with idle Sports? Or diſorder the Wiſe with fooliſh and rude Jeſts? Or do you call Wit affected Dreſſes, affected Garbs, affected Countenances, or vain-ſtraind Complements, or uſeleſſe Words, or ſenſleſſe Speeches, or croſſe Anſwers, or impertinent Queſtions? But for your Wit, Hath your Fame flown beyond Euripides, Homer, or Ovid, your Deſcriptions beyond Horace, or your Verſe beyond Virgil? Have you Oratory to equal the Orartors of Athens, Lacedemonians, or Rome? or have your deviſed any Ingenious Inventions, or produced any profitable Arts, or found out any new Sciences? They you are Witty.

Likewiſe what do you call Honeſty? to live luxuriouſly to your ſelf, not medling, nor intermingling your ſelf and home-Affairs with the publick Affairs of the World? To keep open Houſe at Chriſtmaſs? To give your ſcraps to the poor? To pay Wages duly, Debts juſtly, Taxes quietly? To Kiſſe your Maids privatly? And although all this is good and commendable, but the kiſſing of your Maids, yet it is not enough to make a perfect honeſt man. But to be perfectly honeſt, Have you temperd your unſatiable Appetite with Abſtinency, moderated your violated paſſions with Reaſon, governed your unruly actions with Prudence? Have you not exacted unjuſtly, judged partially, accuſed falſly, betrayed treacherouſly, kept wrongfully, took forcibly? but have you advanced Virtues, defended the Innocent? Have you witneſſed for Truth, pleaded for Right, and ſtood for the defenceleſs? Then you are perfectly Honeſt.

Alſo what do you call Generoſity? To give a preſent to a lewd Miſtris? To bribe a corrupted Judge? Or fee a ſubtil Lawyer? Or feaſt the vain Courtiers? Or maintain Sycophants and Flatterers? Or Bail a juſt Arreſt? Or to be bound for the Deboiſt? Or to give Ladies Collations? Or to lend or give idle drunken fellows money? Or to give when you think to hear of it again? This is Prodigality, not Generoſity. But to be Generous, Have you ſet your priſoner free, Ranſomed the Captives, or bought off the chains of 281 Bbbb1r 281 of the Gally-ſlaves? Have you maintained young Orphans, or helped poor Widows? Have you cheered the Aged, nouriſhed the Hungry, ſuccoured the Infirm, relieved the Diſtreſſed, comforted the Sorrowful, and guided the Ignorant? Or have you upholden an Antient Family from ſinking? Then you are Generous.

As for your Perſon, the more Handſome and Beautiful you are, the more Effeminate you ſeem. But to conclude, That man that hath a narrow Heart, and a mean Soul, that only ſeeks his own delights, which all vain-glorious perſons do, I will not marry: For Noble Ambition hath a heart, whoſe veins with bounty flow, and wears her life only for Honours uſe and Virtues need.

Exeunt.

Act V.

Scene 33.

Enter Grave Temperance, Superbe, Bon’ Eſprit, Faction, Portrait.

Temperance

There is no behaviour ſo inconvenient, or ſo unfitting a woman, eſpecially a young beautiful Lady, as to be familiar: for that gives way and liberty for men to be rude and uncivil.

Portrait

Why how would you have a young Lady to behave her ſelf?

Temperance

Modeſtly, reſervedly, and civilly, which behaviour will keep men in order, and at a diſtance.

Superbe

To ſeem very modeſt, is to appear ſimple; to be much reſerved is to be formal, which is only fit for State Ladies; to be very civil, is to be too humble, and appears mean, and only fit for Country wives.

Temperance

No Lady, for thoſe that give no reſpect, will receive none; but thoſe that are civil to others, others will be civil to them; for they will be aſhamed to be rude to thoſe that are civil: And as for Gravity, it puts Boldneſs out of countenance, and Modeſty quenches unlawful deſires, converting the beholders to Purity, Love, and Eſteem.

Faction

There is no behaviour like to the French Mode, to be careleſs and free, to diſcourſe in Raillery.

Temperance

To be careleſs, is to be rude; to be fcree, is to be wanton; to raillery, is to reproach under the protection of wit, it is a reproachful Wit, and a wit of Reproach.

Bon’ Eſprit

All wit is commendable.

Temperance

No Lady, a Jeſters wit is not fit for a grave Judge, or a great Prince, he may keep a Fool, or make a Fool to make him merry, and to laugh at their Jeſts and Geſtures, but not to be a Buffoon or Jeſter himſelf.

Bon’ Eſprit

Let me adviſe and counſel you, Temperance, which is, to condemnBbbb demn 282 Bbbb1v 282 demn no kind of Wit, but eſpecially a Mode-Wit, leſt you ſhould be accounted a fooliſh Judge.

Temperance

Let me tell you, they will be the greateſt Fools that judge the Judge.

Exeunt.

Scene 34.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical alone.

Satyrical

I am reſolv’d, yet being a Criminal, how to addreſs my Sute, I am in doubt: To ask pardon for my faults, were to make my faults ſeem greater than they are; to excuſe them, were to make my judgment ſeem weaker than I think it is; to juſtifie them, were to condemn her. Well, I will neither ask pardon, nor make excuſe, nor yet juſtifie them; but in plain language declare my pure Affections, honeſt Deſires, and honourable Requeſts; if ſhe believes the firſt, approves the third, and conſents to the ſecond, I hope to be happy, if not I muſt be content: for it is a folly to mourn, when it brings no remedy.

Exit.

Scene 35.

Enter Bon’ Eſprit, Portrait, Faction, Ambition, Superbe, Mother Matron,.

Faction

The Lady Variety, now ſhe is a Widow, ſhe tricks and dreſſes up her ſelf in her Mourning, and is more fond of the company of men, than we that are Maids.

Bon’ Eſprit

’Tis a ſign ſhe knows by Experience that the Maſculine Sex are better, and more pleaſurable company than any of her own Sex, which Maids do not know, by reaſon they are for the moſt part reſtrain’d.

Portrait

Why ſhould you find fault with Widows, when maried Wives indeavour by all the Arts they can to get the company of men, and do ſtrive by inticements to allure them to Courtſhips, as much as Widows or Maids to lawful and honeſt Mariage?

Ambition

One would think that maried women, by their neglect and diſre spect to they Husbands, they loved not the company of men.

Superbe

They may love the company of men, though not the company of one man, as their Husbands.

Matron

Come, come, Ladies, Maids are always ſpiteful to Maried Women, becauſe they be preferred in Mariage before them, and are jealous of Widows, for fear that they ſhould get their Servants and Suters from them.

Faction

I ſhould ſooner be jealous of a Widow, than ſpightful to a Maried Wife: for moſt Wives are in a condition to be pity’d rather than envy’d;vy’d; 283 Bbbb2r 283 vy’d; but Widows have ſuch a magnetick power, as one Widow will draw away the Servants and Suters from a dozen Maids.

Bon’ Eſprit

Indeed Widows are very prevalent; for a poor widow ſhall have more Suters, and better Choice, than a rich Maid, and an ill-favour’d Widow, than a handſome Maid, and old Widow, than a young Virgin.

Ambition

I wonder at it.

Faction

Why ſhould you wonder at it? ſince they know the humours, weakneſſes, and ſtrengths of men, better than Maids do, by which they know how to work and draw them to their bent and deſign.

Bon’ Eſprit

No, that’s not the Cauſe.

Faction

What’s the Cauſe then?

Bon’ Eſprit

Why men think Widows wiſer than Maids, as being more known and experienc’d.

Portrait

Indeed they have more knowledge than Maids, or elſe they have very ill luck.

Ambition

Why, Maids are more deſirous to marry Widowers than Batchelours.

Superbe

What is the reaſon of that?

Bon’ Eſprit

I know not, except it be the former reaſon.

Faction

No, no, it is becauſe it is ſaid that Widowers love their ſecond wives better than the firſt.

Portrait

And what their third wife?

Faction

I ſuppose Love increaſeth with the number.

Ambition

But women, ’tis ſaid, love their firſt husbands better than the ſecond.

Superbe

That’s only an excuſe to marry a third, and ſo a fourth Huſband.

Bon’ Eſprit

Indeed Death and Hymen are great friends to Widows and Widowers: for if once a woman buries her husband, or a man his wife, they never leave marying and burying, until they have had five or ſix husbands and wives.

Faction

If it were always ſo, I would I had been maried, and had buried my husband; O what a Goſſipping life ſhould I have had! Goſſipping at my husbands Funerals; and Goſſipping at my Maried Nuptials, beſides the pleaſure of being woo’d.

Bon’ Eſprit

But you would have more trouble and vexation in the time between your Mariage-day and your Husbands Death, than pleaſure betwixt your Husbands Death and Mariage-day.

Faction

O no: for I ſuppoſe if Death be a friend, he will take away every Husband as ſoon as that time is paſt they call Hony-moneth.

Enter Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

Ladies, I will tell you News.

Portrait

What News?

Inquiſitive

The young Widow, the Lady Variety, hath the Small Pox.

Faction

That’s no Newes; for all ſorts of Diſeaſes are too frequent to be News: If they were, it would be happy for all animal creatures, if diſeaſes were ſtrangers.

Inquiſitive

But it is News that ſhe ſhould have them.

Faction

It is in reſpect of a new face, or otherwiſe not: for all mankind Bbbb2 in 284 Bbbb2v 284 in theſe parts of the World have that diſeaſe at one time or other, if they live to’t.

Inquiſitive

Truly I pity her.

Ambition

I hope ſhe is not in ſuch a condition to be pitied: for pity is a kin to ſcorn, as near as Couſin-germans, for reproach and ſhame are brother and ſiſter, and ſcorn is the ſon of reproach, and pity is the daughter of ſhame: But although the Small Pox may ſet marks of deformity, they ſet none of diſhonour; they only mark the Body, not the Soul; and that is only to be accounted ſhame, and to be aſham’d of, as the infirmities of the Soul, for which they may be pitied.

Inquiſitive

That deſerves ſcorn.

Ambition

Baſeneſs only deſerves ſcorn, and not infirmities, loſs, or miſfortunes; but there is a difference betwixt infirmities, loſſe, miſfortunes, baſeneſs, and wickedneſs. Infirmities proceed directly from Nature, Loſſe from Poſſeſſion, Misfortunes from Interpoſitions, Baſeneſs from that creature called Man, and Wickedneſs from Devils: The firſt is cauſed by the careleſneſs of Nature, the ſecond by the lack of Power, the third by the neceſſity of Fate, the fourth by the corruption of Man, the laſt by the perſwaſion and temptation of the Devil. The firſt, ſecond, and third are not to be avoided, the fourth not to be practiſed, the fifth not to be followed nor foſtered. The firſt is to be pitied, the ſecond to be grieved for, the third to be lamented for, the fourth to be ſcorned, and the fifth to be hated and abhorred. Thus we may grieve for the loſs of her Beauty, but not pity her, having no natural defect in the Soul, which is the Underſtanding, and the Rational part.

Inquiſitive

But Sickneſs is a natural defect.

Ambition

No, Sickneſs is no more a natural defect, than Time, or Death, Life, or Growth: for they are only Natural Effects, but not Natural Defects.

Exeunt.

Scene 36.

Enter Madamoiſelle Pleaſure, Wanton, Surfet, Idle, Exeſs, her Maids: They all weep.

All ſpeak

Pray turn us not onut of your Service for one fault.

Pleaſure

Why you are the ground wherein all Miſchief is ſown, and whereon all Vice grows; beſides, you are the only Bawds for Adultery.

Wanton

No indeed, the chief Bawds to Adultery, are publick Meetings of all kinds, either Divine, Cuſtomary, Triumphant, or Recreative: Alſo Bravery, whether Ceremonious Gallantry, or Magnificency: Likewiſe Beauty, Wit, Diligence, Obſervance, and rich Preſents; beſides Jealouſie and Covetouſneſs.

Pleaſure

No, Wanton, it is your glancing Eyes, ſimpering Countenance, and toyiſh Tricks.

Wanton

Truly Madam, Idle and I are fitter to make Wenches than Bawds, ’tis 285 Cccc1r 285 ’tis your Ladyſhip that is the Lady of Pleaſure, which perſwades more to Adultery than we poor harmleſs creatures.

Pleaſure

Go get you out of my houſe, for I will not keep ſuch bold rude Wenches as you are.

Temperance

Pray Madam pardon them for this time.

Exeunt.

Scene 37.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, Superbe, Faction, Pleaſure, Portrait, Monſieur Heroick, Monſieur Tranquillities Peace, Monſieur Frisk, Monſieur Cenſure, Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Pleaſure

How ſhall we paſs our time to day?

Tranquill. Peace

For us men we cannot paſs our time better, or more pleaſanter, than in the company of fair young Ladies.

Ambition

To avoid tedious Complements and Diſcourſes to particular ears, or the confuſion of many Tongues ſpeaking at once, let us ſit and diſcourſe in Dialogues.

Heroick

Agreed; but ſhall we diſcourſe in Rhime or in Proſe?

Superbe

In Rhimes by any means: for Rhimes many times hide an obſcure that Nonſence that would be diſcover’d in Proſe.

Vain-glor

Then it ſeems Rhime is a Veil to cover the face of Nonſense.

Superbe

They are ſo: for one can never diſcover an ill Poem, until the Rhimes be diſſolved into Proſe, which ſhews whether there be Senſe, Reaſon, Wit, or Fancy in them.

Ambition

But to be turned into Proſe, the Poems will loſe the Elegance of the Style, and the Eloquence of the Language.

Faction

Why, if a man should loſe his Hat and Feather; and be ſtript of a fine and gay Suit of Cloaths, he would neither have the leſs brain nor blood, nor ſoul, nor body, beauty nor shape; and though gay and glorious Apparel may allure the Eyes of a young Lady, or a Novice Gentleman, or may draw the ignorant vulgar to Admiration, and ſo to an Eſteem and Reſpect; yet thoſe that have clear Underſtandings, ſolid Judgments, quick Wits, and knowing Wiſedoms, will be ſo far from admiring the man for the ſake of his gay Cloaths, or eſteeming him for his glorious Attire, as they will be apt to condemn him as a vain man.

Inquiſitive

Then you reject the cloathing of Poems in fine Language.

Faction

No; but I deſpiſe thoſe Poems that have nothing but Language and Rhimes.

Frisk

Then it is a folly to write in Verſe, if Rhymes be not accounted of.

Pleaſure

Verſe is to be accounted of for the ſake of Numbers, which is harmonious; yet neither Harmonious Numbers, nor Chyming Rhymes, nor Gay Rhetorick, is Reaſon, Wit, nor Fancy, which is the Ground, Body, or Soul of a good Poem.

Cenſure

Yet no Poem is eſteem’d, but condemn’d, that is not in gay and new-faſhion’d cloathing.

Ambition

Then Chaucers Poems, which are in plain and old-faſhion’d Cccc gar- 286 Cccc1v 286 garments, which is Language, is to be deſpiſed, and his Wit condemned; but certainly Chaucers Witty Poems, and Lively Deſcriptions, in deſpight of their Old Language, as they have laſted in great Eſteem and Admiration theſe three hundred years, ſo they may do Eternally amongſt the Wiſe in every Age.

Heroick

Gentlemen, leave off your Diſputes, for the Ladies will be too hard for us: for they are always Conquerors in peace and war, both in the Schools and in the Fields, in the City and in the Court.

Portrait

Pray leave off this particular Diſpute, and let us diſcourſe in general.

Tranquill. Peace

Agreed.

Superbe

Begin.

Inquiſitive

Who ſhall begin?

Faction

I will begin; for a womans Tongue hath priviledge and preheminency in the firſt place.

The Dialogue-Diſcourſes.

Faction

Old brains are like to barren ground,

Cenſure

Or like a wilderneſs forlorn,

Portrait

Or like crack’d bells that have no ſound,

Tranquill. Peace

Or like a child Abortive born:

Ambition

For Time the fire of Wit puts out,

Heroick

And fills the brain with vapour cold,

Superbe

And quenches Fancy without doubt,

Vain-glor

For Wit is feeble when ’tis old.

Portrait

Wit neither fails, weakens, decays, nor dies,

Inquiſitive

Though bred and born, as other creatures are,

Faction

Only the Brain, the Womb wherein it lies:

Cenſure

But when ’tis born, Fame nurſes it with care,

Frisk

And to Eternity doth it prefer.

Pleaſure

Wit makes the brain ſick when it breeding is,

Tranquill

And painful throws before, and at its birth;

Ambition

But when ’tis born, if good, a Comfort ’tis.

Heroick

The Parent Poetry creates with mirth,

Superbe

He joys to ſee his Iſſue fairly ſpring,

Vain-glor

And hopes with time in numbers may increaſe,

Portrait

And being multiply’d may honours bring,

Frisk

As a poſterity that never ceaſe.

Faction

Wit, the Iſſue, and Off-ſpring of the Soul,

Cenſure

From which the Nature ſublimely is Divine,

Pleaſure

Dimenſions hath, and parts, yet in the whole,

Tranquill

United is, of breaches there’s no ſign.

Ambition

Wit, like the Soul is, which no body hath,

Heroick

No latitude, yet hath a perfect form,

Superbe

Yet flies all ſev’ral ways, yet keeps a path,

Vain-glor

A path of Senſe, which never turns therefrom.

Portrait

But wondrous ſtrange, and monſtrous is Wit,

Inquiſitive

That all contrarities in it do dwell:

Faction

For it all Shapes, Imployments, Humours fit,

Cenſure

Like Beaſts, Men, Gods, or terrible Devils in Hell.

Tem- 287 Cccc2r 287

Temperance

O fie, O fie, this diſcourſe is like dancing the Hay, or dancing a Scotch Gig, which will put you out of breath ſtrait.

Faction

You would have us diſcourſe in the meaſure of a Spaniſh Pavin.

Temperance

No, but the meaſure of a French Galliard would do very well.

Cenſure

For my part, Lady, I like Gigs beſt, and therefore, if you pleaſe, begin another Gig.

Faction

The Spring is dreſt in buds and bloſſoms ſweet:

Cenſure

The Summer laughs until her Cheeks look red.

Pleaſure

The plenteous Autumn warm under our feet.

Tranquill. Peace

The Winter ſhaking cold, is almoſt dead.

All ſpeak

Go on with the twelve Moneths.

Ambition

Fierce furious March comes in with bended brows,

Heroick

Commanding ſtorms and tempeſts to ariſe,

Superbe

Beating the trees and cloud, as if it meant

Vain-glory

To make them ſubject to his tyrannies.

Portrait

Then follows April, weeping for her buds,

Frisk

For fear rude March had all her young deſtroy’d;

Faction

But when ſhe thought her tears might riſe to floods,

Cenſure

With Sun-beams dry’d her Eyes, his heat her joy’d.

Pleaſure

Then wanton May came full of Amorous Sports,

Tranquill. Peace

Decking her ſelf with gawdy Colours gay,

Ambition

And entertaining Lovers of all ſorts,

Heroick

In pleaſure ſhe doth paſs her time away.

Superbe

Then enters June with fair and full fat face,

Vain-glor

Her Eyes are bright and clear as the Noon-Sun,

Portrait

And in her carriage hath a Majeſtick grace,

Inquiſitive

In Equinoctial pace ſhe walks, not run.

Faction

But July’s ſultry hot, Ambitious proud,

Cenſure

And in a fiery Chariot ſhe doth ride,

Pleaſure

When angry is, ſhe thundring ſpeaks aloud,

Tranquill. Peace

Shoots Lightning through the clouds on every ſide.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality, and breaks of their DialogueDiſcourſe.

Senſuality

Jove bleſs us! what Deſigns have you Ladies and Gentlemen that you ſit ſo gravely together in Councel.

Portrait

Our chief Deſign is Wit.

Senſuality

A witty Deſign: But really, what are you doing?

Temperance

They are idly Rhyming.

Senſuality

Hang idle Rhyming, give me Reaſon.

Ambition

Although our Rhymes are not good, yet they are not foul, by reaſon they are made on fair and pure Subjects.

Senſuality

Why, what are the Subjects they are made on?

Portrait

They are made of the ſeveral Seaſons and Moneths of the Year.

Senſuality

By your favour, Lady, there be ſome of the Seaſons and Months very foul.

Pleaſure

But we have Rhym’d of none but the fair Months as yet.

Senſuality

Then let me adviſe you to ſtop your Poetical Vein: for if you go farther, you will meet with foul weather and rain.

Cccc2 They 288 Cccc2v 288

They all ſpeak

Out, out of our company.

Faction

Do you come her to rail at our Rhymes, and yet Rhyme your ſelf, and worſe than any of the company?

Senſuality

I only Rhyme to make my ſelf Free of the Company, though not of the Wits.

Inquiſitive

So you will call us fools by and by.

Senſuality

No faith, your Rhymes have named you already, and ſo prevented me.

Portrait

Why this is worſe and worſe.

Faction

Let us ſeek a revenge.

Ambition

What revenge ſhall we take?

Pleaſure

We will tye him to an Aſſes head.

Superbe

No, we will tye him to a Foxes tail.

Senſuality

Ladies tye me to what you pleaſe, ſo you do not tye me to a Horn.

Faction

Yes, to Altheas Horn, the Horn of plenty.

Senſuality

’Tis a ſign Althea is a Woman, that ſhe gives her gifts in a Horn; but I had rather ſtarve, than receive plenty in ſuch a thing.

Exit.

Portrait

Let us transform him as Acteon did.

Faction

And follow him as his hounds did.

Temperance

Young Ladies, be no ſo wilde and fierce, to be the hounds your ſelves to follow in purſuit.

Portrait

No, no, we will be as Diana, that transformed him.

Temperance

Then you muſt be liable to the ſame Cenſure, which is, to be thought cruel.

Superbe

The more Cruel our Sex is, the more Chaſte we are thought to be.

Exeunt.

Finis.

Epilogue 289 Dddd1r 289

Epilogue

Our Auth’reſs bid me tell you She thought fit For to divide this Fair Cabal of Wit. For one Play ’twas too long, which was her ſorrow, The other half, if come, you’l ſee to morrow. You’l thank her then, dividing it to make You riſe with Appetites, no Surfets take. Wit’s Surfet’s dangerous: Take the Fruition Of new-born Fancies without Repetition. But hold your hands, as you are men to day, And as our Friends to morrow Clap our Play.

The Marquiſs of Newcasſtle writ this Epilogue.

Dddd The 290 Dddd1v 290

The Actors Names.

Monſieur Heroick.

Monſieur Tranquillitious Peace.

Monſieur Vain-glorious.

Monſieur Satyrical.

Monſieur Cenſure.

Monſieur Senſuality.

Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Monſieur Buſie.

Monſieur Frisk.

Liberty, the Lady Pleaſure’sGentleman-Uſher.

Madamoiſelle Ambition.

Madamoiſelle Superbe.

Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Madamoiſelle Faction.

Grave Temperance, Governeſs to Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Madamoiſelle Portrait.

Mother Matron.

Wanton, Exceſs, Eaſe, Idle, Surfet, waiting-maids to Madamoiſelle Pleasure.

Flattery, Madamoiſelle Superbe’swaiting-maid.

Servants and others.

The 291 Dddd2r 291

The Second Part of the Play called Wits Cabal.

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, Faction, Pleaſure, Superbe, Portrait, and Mother Matron enters as meeting them.

Matron

O Ladies, there is the rareſt Beauty come to the City, out of the Countrey, that ever was ſeen, ſhe ſurpaſſeth Hellen of Troy, or Æneas Mother Queen Venus.

Pleaſure

If ſhe ſurpaſſeth their Appetites, as you ſay ſhe doth their Beauties, ſhe may chance to fire this City with flames of Love, or cauſe a War to deſtroy it.

Portrait

Have you ſeen her, Mother Matron?

Matron

No, but a friend of mine hath ſeen her.

Faction

Perchance your friend’s a fool, and knows not how to judge.

Matron

Indeed my friend’s a woman, and women have none of the beſt judgments.

Ambition

But there is more probability that ſhe hath a ſurpaſſing beauty if a woman praiſe her, than if a man had praiſed her: for men have a partial love to the Effeminate Sex, which multiplies their beauties to their ſight, and makes a candle in the night ſeem like a Blazing Star.

Matron

In truth and Love is dark: for ’tis ſaid he is blind.

Portrait

But Envy is quick-ſighted, and therefore I am afraid the Lady you ſpeak of is ſurpaſſing, ſince thoſe of her own Sex can find no blemiſh or imperfection to cloud her from a praiſe.

Enter Monſieur Buſie.

Buſie

Ladies, I am come to give you intelligence of a rare Beauty that is come to this City.

Ambition

Her Fame hath out-run your Intelligence, Sir; but have you ſeen her?

Buſie

No Lady, not I.

Enter Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

Ladies, there is a rare Beauty come to this Town to increaſe the number of your Cabal.

Superbe

Our Cabal is of Wit, not of Beauty.

Inquiſitive

It’s a Cabal of both, Lady.

Dddd2 Faction 292 Dddd2v 292

Faction

Have you ſeen her?

Inquiſitive

No Lady, but I have heard of her Beauty.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality.

Senſuality

Ladies, there is ſuch a Beauty come to Town, that now or never you will be out-ſhin’d.

Portrait

Jupiter bleſs us, and grant that ſhe may not ingroſs to her ſelf all Mankind, and ſo leave all the reſt of her Sex deſtitute and forlorn!

Senſuality

It is to be hoped ſhe will humble you, as to bring you to be more complyant to us men than you have been.

Ambition

Have you ſeen her, Monſieur Senſuality?

Senſuality

No not I.

Ambition

Why then ſhe is a Miracle, that every one hears of, but no body ſeeth.

Faction

May ſhe continue a Miracle ſtill: for I had rather that ſhe ſhould only be heard of, than be viſibly ſeen.

Senſuality

But I will do my indeavour to ſee her.

Buſie

So will I.

Exit Men.

Pleaſure

I long to ſee her as much as the men do.

Ambition

So do I.

Faction

And I.

Superbe

And I.

Portrait

And I.

Ambition

But how ſhall we compaſs the ſight of her?

Portrait

Faith let’s go to a Play, I’ll warrant you ſhe’ll be there.

Pleaſure

If ſhe be, we ſhall only ſee her Mask, not her Face: for at the common Play-houſes all the Effeminate Sex ſit mask’d and muffl’d.

Portrait

Why then let us go to that Church which is moſt frequented, as where ſome Famous Preachers preach; and certainly, if ſhe be ſuch a Beauty; ſhe will be there: Besides, there our Sex ſit to the full View, to Attract the Eyes of the Gods.

Matron

No, no, Lady, they ſit to the full View, to tempt the Appetites of men: for they think not on the Gods, nor care the Gods ſhould think of them.

Pleaſure

Fie, fie, Mother Matron, you will make Women damnable creatures, if they could be made ſo by your Deſcription: But Women go to Church to preſent their prayers of Requeſt, and praiſes of Thankſgiving, and not to ſhew themſelves to men, nor to tempt their Appetites, as you ſay.

Matron

Come, come, Ladies, ſearch your own Conſciences, and you will find I have ſpoke the truth: for if you only went to preſent your prayers to the Gods, you would go as humble petitioners, or ſorrowful penitents, cloathed in ſackcloth, and aſhes on your head; and not attir’d in gold and ſilver, painted, patch’d, and curl’d, unleſs you think the Gods are like to men, to be delighted and enamour’d with Vanity, Beauty, and Bravery: for you make the Church a Masking-room, rather than a place of Devotion.

Portrait

No, we rather ſtrive to make it like Heaven, which is glorious and ſplendrous; and the Heavenly Society is ſaid to be beautiful.

Matron

Yes, ſuch a Heaven, where Maskers are inſtead of Saints.

Faction

Why, Angels are deſcrib’d by Painters to have fine-colour’d wings, 293 Eeee1r 293 wings, and by Preachers, to hold fine gold branches in their hands, and the Heavens are deſcribed to us to be moſt gloriouſly adorn’d, with Diamonds, Rubies, Pearl, Emeralds, Gold, and Cryſtal, which ſhews the Gods delight in braveries: Wherefore we, to delight the Gods, make our ſelves fine and gay.

Matron

No, no, Ladies, you ſtrive not to delight the Gods, but to be Ador’d and Worſhip’d as Goddeſſes by the Maſculine Sex, whom you would have to be your Saints.

Superbe

I know not whether we deſire to be Goddeſſes, or not, but I am ſure, if women be as irreligious as you make them to be, they will prove Devils.

Faction

And Mother Matron here will prove the chief She Devil amongſt our Sex.

Matron

No, no, Lady, I’m devout, for I ſay my prayers every night and every morning.

Ambition

May be ſo you do, and all the time your are ſaying your prayers, you are thinking of your ſnarl’d Periwig, or how you ſhall trim up your old Gown that was given you by ſome of our Cabal.

Matron

Faith I muſt confeſs I have had ſome ſuch thoughts when I have been at my prayers, God forgive me for’t.

Portrait

And for all you exclame againſt young Beauties, for there is your ſpight now your beauty is gone; yet I have obſerved, that when you are at Church, you will caſt your eyes about, and mope and mew, and ſimpering, bridlddle in your Chin, in hopes to catch ſome beardleſs boy; and when you look up on the Preachers face, if he be a young Lecturer, it is not out of Attention, of what he preaches, but in hopes to perſwade him to marry you, as thinking he would imagine you would make a good Vertuous Religious woman, fit to make a Parſons Wife.

Matron

No faith, I will never be a Parſons Wife: for Preachers are given ſo much to Contemplation, as they ſeldom ſpeak but in the pulpit; but if they do, it will be of ſubjects I underſtand not, as of ſuch ſubjects as they have read out of dead Authors.

Superbe

Why then you will have the more liberty to ſpeak your ſelf, if your Husband ſpeak but ſeldom.

Matron

That’s true; but thoſe which love to ſpeak much, are like drunkards, which is, they love company: for Queſtions and Anſwers are like drinking and pledging, and Arguing is like drinking Healths, and quarrels and friendſhips, and friendſhips and quarrels proceed from the one as often as from the other.

Faction

Then it ſeems you are both kind and quarrelſome, both in your talk and drink: for you ſpeak very experienc’d of both.

Matron

So much experience I have, living long in the World, as to know that drink makes one talk, and talking makes one dry.

Pleaſure

Well, leaving this dry diſcourſe, Mother Matron, you muſt find out ſome way or means whereby we may be acquainted with the rare Beauty which every one talks of,.

Matron

I will do my indeavour, and imploy the wiſedom of my brain to compaſs it.

Exeunt.
Eeee Scene 294 Eeee1v 294
Enter Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit, and her Maid enters ſoon after.

Maid

Madam, there is Monſieur Satyrical come to viſit you.

Bon’ Eſprit

Cupid and Venus poſſeſs him, and Pallas guard me Conduct him hither.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical.

Bon’ Eſprit

Monſieur Satyrical, you appear like a Comet to our Sex.

Satyrical

If all your Sex had been like you, I ſhould have been as converſant as one of the Planets.

Bon’ Eſprit

I hope you have not that Influence on our Sex, as the Planets have on Earthly Creatures.

Satyrical

I wiſh I had, for then I might caſt ſuch an Influence of Love, as might cauſe you to love me.

Bon’ Eſprit

But you are like the Planet of Saturn, and not of Venus: for you frown, when Venus ſmiles.

Satyrical

I ſhall not do ſo when you ſmile.

Bon’ Eſprit

You will when I quarrel with you.

Satyrical

I hope you will not quarrel with me; but if you do, I will receive your anger, as ſubjects receive the puniſhments of Laws, obediently, although it ruins me.

Bon’ Eſprit

I will make you Judge of the Cauſe, as of the Laws. Have I not reaſon to quarrel with you, when I Challeng’d you to an Honourable Fight, and you return’d my Challenge back with ſcorn and ſlight?

Satyrical

Whatſoever my Anſwer was, I confeſs I am conquer’d, and yield my ſelf your priſoner, to diſpoſe of me as you pleaſe: But if you will, take a Ranſome of current Love, which I have brought you in the Cheſt of my Heart, wherein it is ſo faſt lock’d, that nothing but your Acceptance can open it.

Bon’ Eſprit

If it be capable of being taken forth, I may leave your heart empty.

Satyrical

Your Virtue will ſtill furniſh it with more,

Your pure Chaſtity increaſe the ſtore.

Bon’ Eſprit

Your Wit is very apt to take your part,

To keep your own, yet ſtrives to ſteal my heart:

But if you do not uſe it nobly well,

I will complain to Gods, the truth will tell.

Satyrical

May I be curs’d, my Wit be quenched out,

If I give you a cauſe my Love to doubt,

Or I your Virtues highly not admire,

Preferring them before a looſe deſire,

May all the Gods their vengeance on me caſt,

And may their puniſhments for ever laſt.

Bon’ Eſprit

I was in jeſt at firſt; but ſince I find

Your Love ſo honeſt, and your words ſo kind,

I 295 Eeee2r 295

I cannot doubt, not yet my ſelf deny

The union Friendſhip in firm bonds to tye

Of everlaſting love; and if I break,

May Gods be deaf when I in pray’rs do ſpeak.

Satyrical

Madam, the Poetical Duel hath ended in Friendſhip, and if you pleaſe, in Mariage.

Bon’ Eſprit

I conſent; but do not prize me the leſs for being ſoon won: for I loved you before you asked my Love; and being ask’d, I could not deny you.

Satyrical

I value your love as Saints do Heaven, and prize it as highly as Gods their power; and for my crimes committed againſt you and your Sex, I offer up my heart on the Altar of Repentance, as a ſacrifice to you my Goddeſs for an Atonement of your Anger.

Bon’ Eſprit

I accept of thy Offering, and ſhall receive it as a Trophy of my Victory.

Satyrical

I am your ſlave.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter Superbe, Ambition, Faction, Pleaſure, and Portrait.

Ambition

It is ſaid that Women are the greateſt Conquerors, becauſe they conquer conquering men, and make them become ſlaves: For it is ſaid, that Women have conquer’d the wiſeſt man, as Solomon, the wittieſt man, as David, the ſtrongeſt man, as Sampſon, the faireſt man, as Paris of Troy, the valianteſt man, as Achilles, the ſubtileſt man, as Ulyſſes, the powerfulleſt men, as Alexander and Cæſar.

Faction

By your favour, Women never made a Conqueſt of the two latter, and therefore cannot be ſaid to be abſolute Conquerors: for none are abſolute Conquerors but thoſe that conquer power, that is, thoſe that get abſolute dominion over all the World, which Alexander and Cæſar are ſaid to have done by their Valour and Conduct; and never any Woman or Women conquer’d thoſe men, as to get them to yield up their power for a womans ſake, which ſhews they were not rul’d by women, although they lov’d women; by which it is to be proved; that women never made an abſolute Conqueſt of men, becauſe they could never conquer abſolutely thoſe two abſolute Conquerors and Maſters of the World.

Pleaſure

But Livia Conquer’d Auguſtus Cæſar, and Ruled his Power; and he was as abſolute a Maſter of the Worlds Power, as Julius Cæſar and Alexander.

Faction

He was rather to be ſaid the Poſſeſſor of the Worlds power, than the abſolute Conqueror of the Worlds power.

Superbe

It is as good to be a Conquereſs of the poſſeſſor of power, as to conquer the Conqueror of power.

Ambition

It is as good for the Benefit, but not ſo much for the Honour of it.

Portrait

But Alexander nor Cæſar lived not ſo long a time, as to be Conquer’d by women; for women muſt have time and opportunity for to gain the Condqueſt in, as well as men have.

Eeee2 Faction 296 Eeee2v 296

Faction

If Alexander and Cæſar must have been old before they poſſibly could have been conquer’d, it proves that women do rather conquer Age, than power weakens the ſtrength; and the truth is, women conquer nothing but the vices, weakneſſes, and defects of men: As they can conquer an unexperienc’d Youth, and doting Age, ignorant Breeding, effeminate Natures, wavering Minds, facile Diſpoſitions, ſoft Paſſions, wanton Thoughts, unruly Appetites, and the luxurious Lives of men; but they cannot conquer mens fix’d Reſolutions, their heroick Valours, their high Ambitions, their magnificent Generoſities, their glorious Honours, or their conquering or over-ruling Powers: Nor can women conquer their moral Vertues, as their Prudence, Fortitude, Juſtice, and Temperance. But put the caſe a man had the power of the whole World, and could quit that power for the enjoyment of any particular women, or women, yet he quits not that power for the womans ſake, but for his minds-ſake, his pleaſure-ſake, as to ſatisfie his Fancy, Paſſion, or Appetites: And what Conpqueſt ſoever Women make on Men, if any Conqueſt they do make, is more by the favour of Nature, than the Gods.

Ambition

Well, I wiſh I may be the Conquereſs of one man, let the favour proceed from which it will.

Exeunt.

Scene 4.

Enter Eaſe, Wanton, and Idle.

Eaſe

There hath been ſuch a Skirmiſh, or rather a Battel.

Idle

How, and betwixt whom?

Eaſe

Why, betwixt Grave Temperance and Mother Matron.

Idle

What was the cauſe of their falling out.

Eaſe

Why Mother Matron had a ſpic’d pot of Ale in her hand, ſo ſhe ſet it to her mouth, and drank a hearty draught of it, and finding it very good and refreſhing, drank another draught: By my faith, ſaid ſhe, this is a cheerly cup indeed, and a comfortable drink, and with that drank another draught, and ſo long-winded ſhe was, as ſhe drank up all the Ale therein: Whereupon, Grave Temperance rebuked her for drinking ſo much, ſaying, that though a little, as one draught, or ſo, might refreſh the Spirits, yet a great quantity would make her drunk: Whereupon Mother Matron, who could not then ſuffer a reproof, in anger ſhe flung the pot, which was ſtill in her hand, at Grave Temperance’s head.

Idle

It was a ſign ſhe had drank all the good liquor out, or otherwiſe ſhe would not have thrown the pot away.

Eaſe

It was a ſign ſhe was drunk, or elſe ſhe would not have done ſo outragious and act, as to have broke Grave Temperances head.

Enter Mother Matron as half drunk, and ſcolding.

Matron

Reprove me! teach me! Have not I liv’d long enough in the World to be able to govern myſelf, but Temperance muſt govern me? Am I a Child? am I a Novice, that I muſt be governed by Temperance? No, no, 297 Ffff1r 297 no, let her go to the Nunneries, and let her be the Lady Prioreſs to govern Nuns, for yfaith ſhe ſhall not Prior me.

Idle

Not Frier you, do you ſay?

Matron

No nor Nunn me neither: for I will be neither Fryerd, nor Nunn’d.

Eaſe

Why what will you be?

Matron

Why what ſhould I be, but as I am, a wiſe, ſober, and diſcreet Governeſs to a company of young Ladies? Ladies that love the World better than Heaven, and hate a Nunnery worſe than Death; and by my Faith they have reaſon, for liberty is the joy of life, and the World is the place of ſenſual pleaſures, and ſenſual pleaſures are ſubſtantial, and in being, when the pleaſures afteer death are uncertain; but if they were certain, yet I had rather have a draught of Ale in this World, than a draught of Nectar in the next.

Idle

This Ale hath heat her into a Poetical height.

Matron

What do you ſay, into a pots head?

Idle

No, I ſay your head is a pot, filled with the fume of Ale.

Matron

What have you to do with my head?

Eaſe

What has you to do with Grave Temperances head?

Matron

I would Temperances grave head were in your throat, and then there would be two fools heads one within another.

Idle

Come, let’s leave her, or ſhe will talk her ſelf into a fit of madneſſe.

Eaſe and Idle go out Matron alone.

Matron

A couple of Gill-flirts, to heat me thus.

Exit.

Scene 5.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Satyrical

Dear Miſtris, have you freely pardon’d and forgiven me my faults?

Bon’ Eſprit

Yes.

Satyrical

But will you not reprove me for them hereafter?

Bon’ Eſprit

In a pardon all faults ought to be forgiven, if not forgotten, and no repetitions ought to be made of the ſame: for a clear pardon, and a free forgiveneſs, blots out all offences, or ſhould do ſo. But you imagine your offences greater than they are, and by your doubts, I to be of leſs good nature than I am.

Satyrical

There are none that have offended what they love, but fears, and hopes, and doubts, fight Duels in their Minds.

Bon’ Eſprit

Baniſh thoſe doubts, and let the hopes remain to build a confident belief to keep out jelouſie, otherwiſe it will take poſſeſſion, and deſtroy, at leaſt diſturb affection.

Satyrical

Not my affection to you.

Exeunt.
Ffff Scene 298 Ffff1v 298

Scene 6.

Enter Superbe, Ambition, and Portrait.

Faction

For Heavens ſake let’s go ſee Mother Matron: for ’tis ſaid ſhe’s mad-drunk.

Ambition

If ſhe be mad-drunk, ſhe’s rather to be ſhunn’d than ſought after.

Superbe

Why, do not we give money to ſee mad people in Bedlam? and we may ſee her for nothing.

Ambition

Thoſe people are not madly drunk, nor drunkly mad: for they, poor creatures, drink nothing but water.

Portrait

Perchance if they did drink ſtrong drink, it might make them ſoberly in their right wits.

Enter Mother Matron as partly drunk.

Matron

Where is Monſieur Frisk? O that Monſieur Frisk were here!

Faction

What would you have with Monſieur Frisk?

Matron

I would challenge Monſieur Frisk.

Ambition

What, to fight?

Matron

Yes, in Cupids Wars.

Portrait

By Venus I ſwear, thou hast been Caſhier’d from Cupids Wars this thirty years.

Matron

Come, come, Ladies, for all your frumps, you are forced to make me General, to lead up the Train, and Generaliſſimo, to ſet the Battalia, ſo that though I am too old to be a common Souldier, I am young enough to be a Commander.

Superbe

Thou art at this time but a drunken Commander.

Matron

If I am drunk, I am but as a Commander ought to be, or as a Commander uſually is.

Ambition

Pray do not accuſe Mother Matron: for though her Brain may be a little diſturb’d, yet her Reaſon is ſober, and governs her Tongue orderly.

Matron

O ſweet Monſieur Frisk!

Exit Mother Matron.

Faction

If her Reaſon governs her Tongue, I do not perceive it governs her Humour.

Faction

Her Humour, ſay you, you mean her Appetites.

Exeunt.
Act 299 Ffff2r 299

Act II.

Scene 7.

Enter Madamoiſelle Pleaſure, and Monſieur Tranquillitous Peace.

Pleaſure

Paſſions are begot betwixt the Soul and the Body, the Reaſon and the Senſe; and the Habitation of the Paſſions is the Heart, which is in the midſt of man, as betwixt the Rational part; the Head, and the Senſual Part.

Tranquill

What part is that, Madam?

Pleaſure

The beſtial part.

Tranquill

What part is the beſtial part? for I cannot perceive but beaſts and men are alike in moſt parts.

Pleaſure

I am not a Lectural Reader of parts.

Tranquill

One would think you were by your former Diſcourſe.

Pleaſure

Why, I may mention parts, without Preaching on parts.

Tranquill

But if Women would Preach of the parts of the Body, and leave Preaching of the Spirit and Soul, it would be better for themſelves; their Husbands, Friends, and Neighbours, than it is: And if men would do the like, it would be better for themſelves, their wives, and neighbours: But they preach altogether of the Soul, and yet know not what the Soul is.

Pleaſure

How would you have them preach of the Body?

Tranquill

Firſt, as for themſelves, if they would conſider: for they muſt conſider before they Preach, which is, to Teach. If they would conſider, I ſay, how frail the parts of Mankind are, how tender and weak ever part of the body is, how apt they are to ſickneſs ; diſeaſes, how they are ſubject more to pain than to pleaſure, how difficult it is to keep the body from harm, how ſoon the body withers, decays, and dies: If Mankind did conſider this of the body, they would ſtudy what was the guard, and the preſervation of every part of the body; in which ſtudy they would find Temperance the only preſervation of parts, and life of pleaſure: for in Exceſs pleaſure dies, and pains poſſeſs the body. Thus we can deſtroy the body ſooner by Exceſs, and preſerve it longer by Temperance, than otherwiſe it would be.

Secondly, for thoſe that are maried, temperance keeps both man and wife chaſte, patient, and healthful, becauſe gluttony, debauchery, and intemperate anger, hurts the body, and deſtroys the body. Thus temperance keeps the peace of Wedlock: for a Wife being patient, the Husband lives peaceably, being chaſte, he lives honourably, being healthful, he lives comfortably; and the Husband, being temperate, he will neither be a Glutton, a Dunkard, an Adulterer, nor Gameſter: for gaming hurts the body, with vexing at the loſſes, and ſitting ſtill, which hinders the Exerciſe of the body, or keeping unſeaſonable hours, which is pernicious to the health of the Body, as to the quiet of the Mind, and waſte of their Eſtates. Thus a man and wife lives free from jealouſies and fear of poverty. Ffff2 Thirdly, 300 Ffff2v 300 Thirdly, for their Neighbours: If they be temperate, they will neither be covetous, quarrelſome, not envious, which will keep them from doing injury or wrong, and will cauſe them to be friendly and kind: for if they covet not their neighbours goods, they will not ſtrive to poſſeſs their neighbours right; if they be not envious, they will be ſociable, and helpful to each other, as good neighbours ought to be: thus they will not vex each other with Lawſutes, and quarrelling Diſputes, nor Adulteries, and the like: And if men live peaceably, it is good for the Common-wealth, as being free from faction and tumult: Beſides, Peace and Love are the ground whereon all the Commands of the Gods are built on.

Pleaſure

You may preach temperance, but few will follow your Doctrine.

Tranquill

Yes, Pleaſure will: for without temperance there can be no laſting pleaſure.

Exeunt.

Scene 8.

Enter Idle and Eaſe.

Eaſe

Yonder’s Mother Matron ſo metamorphos’d, as at firſt I did not know her.

Idle

How metamorphos’d is ſhe?

Eaſe

Moſt ſtrangely attir’d for her Age, and as ſtrangely behav’d.

Idle

How, for Jupiters ſake?

Eaſe

Why ſhe hath a green Sattin gown on, but it is of an ill-choſen green, for it is of the colour of gooſ-dung, and an Orange-yellow Feather on her head.

Idle

I hope ſhe is not jealous.

Eaſe

Then is ſhe beſet with many ſeveral colour’d Ribbons, as Hair colour, Watchet, Bluſh-colour, and White.

Idle

What, to expreſs her Deſpair, Conſtancy, Modeſty, and Innocence?

Eaſe

I think ſhe may deſpair, but for her conſtancy, I doubt it, and for modeſty, I dare ſwear ſhe never had any; but if ſhe had, it was ſo long ſince, as ſhe hath quite forgot it; as for her innocence, I will leave it to the Examination or Accuſation of her own Conſcience.

Idle

But how is her behaviour?

Eaſe

Why ſhe ſimpers, and draws the deep lines in her face into cloſes, and her wrinckles are the quick-ſet hedges; then ſhe turns her Eyes aſide in coy glances, and her Body is in a perpetual motion, turning and winding, and wreathing about, from object to object, and her Gate is jetting, and ſometimes towards a dancing pace; besides, ſhe is toying and playing with every thing, like a Girl of fifteen, and now and then ſhe will ſing quavering, as a Note or two betwixt a word or two, after the French and Courtly Mode.

Idle

Surely ſhe is mad.

Enter 301 Gggg1r 301 Enter Wanton.

Wanton

Who’s mad?

Idle

Mother Matron.

Wanton

No otherwiſe than all Amorous Lovers uſe to be.

Idle

Why is ſhe an Amorous Lover?

Wanton

Yes, a moſt deſperate one.

Eaſe

Who is ſhe ſo amourouſly affected with?

Wanton

With Monſieur Frisk.

Idle

Why he is not above one and twenty years of Age.

Wanton

That’s the reaſon ſhe’s in love with him: for it is his youth, and his dancing, ſhe amourouſly affects him for, for ſhe ſwears that the very firſt time ſhe ſaw him dance, Cupid did wound her, and ſhot his golden Arrows from the heels of Monſieur Frisk.

Eaſe

Why ſhe is threeſcore and ten, at leaſt.

Wanton

That’s all one: for Cupid wounds Age as well as youth.

Eaſe

But I had thought that an old womans heart had been ſo hard Love could not have enter’d.

Wanton

Old Mother Matron prove it otherwiſe: for her Heart is as tender as the youngeſt Heart of us all.

Idle

While I am young I will be a Lover, becauſe I will not be a Fool when I am old.

Eaſe

That’s the way to be a Fool whilſt you are young, and a Lover when you are old.

Wanton

No, that is to be a Curtezan whilſt ſhe is young, and a Bawd when ſhe is old.

Idle

Nay faith, when I can no longer traffique for my ſelf, I will never trade for any other.

Wanton

Covetouſneſs will tempt your reverent Age.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Ambition, Pleaſure, Faction, Portrait, Bon’ Eſprit, Superbe, Wanton, Eaſe, Exceſs.

Pleaſure

How ſhall we entertain our time?

Portrait

Let us ſit and chuſe Husbands.

Bon’ Eſprit

What, in the Aſhes?

Portrait

No, in our Speeches.

Faction

Content.

Ambition

Begin; but let your Maids, Lady Pleaſure, ſit and chuſe Husbands with us.

Pleaſure

If I were to chuſe a Husband, I would chuſe a man that was honourably born, nobly bred, wiſely taught, civilly behav’d; alſo I would have him to ſpeak rationally, wittily, and eloquently; to act prudently, valiantly, juſtly, and temperately; to live freely, magnificently, and peaceably. I Gggg would 302 Gggg1v 302 would have him honourably born, becauſe I would not have him a Boor by Nature, which is ſurly, rude, grumbling, and miſerable: I would have him nobly bred, becauſe I would not have him a Shark, a Cheat, or a Sycophant: I would have him wiſely taught, becauſe I would not have him an ignorant fool, nor a pedantical fool: I would have him civilly-behav’d, to pleaſe my Eyes: I would have him to ſpeak rational, witty, and eloquent, to pleaſe my Ears: I would have him valiant, to defend his Country, to guard his Family, and to maintain his Honour: I would have him prudent, to foreſee misſfortunes, and to provide for the future, that I may never want for the preſent: I would have him temperate, leſt Exceſs ſhould ruine his Fortune, Health, or Eſteem: I would have him juſt, becauſe others ſhould be juſt to him; to live freely, as not to be inſlaved; to live magnificently, for to be reſpected; to live peaceably, to avoid brawleries. And ſuch a man as this, will be kind to his Wife, loving to his Children, bountiful to his Servants, courteous to his Friends, civil to Strangers, faithful to his Truſt, and juſt to his Promiſe.

Superbe

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a man that were Rich, honour’d with Titles, and were Powerful. I would have him Rich, becauſe I would have him live plentifully, to feed luxuriouſly, to be adorn’d gloriouſly: I would have him to have Titles of Honour, becauſe I would take place of my Neighbours, to have the chief place at a Feaſt, and to have the firſt and choiſeſt meats offer’d me: I would have him Powerful, to oppoſe my Oppoſers, to inſult over my Enemies, and to neglect my Friends; which, if I be poor and helpleſs, they will do me: Thus I ſhall be honour’d by my Superiours, crouch’d to by Inferiours, flatter’d by Sycophants, brag’d of by my Friends, obey’d by my Servants, reſpected by my Acquaintance, envy’d by my Neighbours, ſought to by my Enemies. Thus I might advance my Friends, puniſh my Enemies, tread down my Superiours, inſlave my Inferiours, inſult over my Foes, and inthrone my ſelf.

Ambition

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a man whom all other men are ſlaves to, and he mine. And what can I deſire more than to be abſolute?

Bon’ Eſprit

If I were to chooſe, I would chooſe a man for a Husband that were an honeſt and plain-dealing man, patient and wiſe, that I might neither be deceiv’d by his falſhood, nor troubl’d with his quarrels, nor vex’d with his follies.

Faction

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a ſubtil crafty Knave, that can cheat an honeſt Fool, with which cheats I can entertain my time, like thoſe that go to ſee Juglers play tricks.

Wanton

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a man that were blind, deaf, and dumb, that he might neither trouble me with his impertinent Queſtions, nor ſee my indiſcreet Actions, nor hear my fooliſh Diſcourſes: Thus I may ſay what I will, and never be croſt, do what I will, and never be hinder’d, go where I will, and never be watch’d, come when I will, and never be examin’d, entertain whom I will, and never be rebuk’d. Thus I may Govern as I will, Spend as I will, Spare as I will, without Controlment.

Portrait

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a man that were induſtrious, thrifty, and thriving: for the pleaſure is not ſo much to enjoy, as getting, like thoſe that are hungry, have more pleaſure in eating their meat, than when their ſtomacks are full.

Exceſs 303 Gggg2r 303

Exceſs

If I were to chooſe a Husband, I would chooſe a man that were a buſie Fool, which would continually bring me freſh, although falſe News: for his buſie mind, which fills his Head with Projects, which Projects will feed my exceſſive Ambition, with his high Deſigns, although improbable, and ſet my thoughts at work with his ſeveral Atchievments, although there is no leading-path therein: But howſoever, this will furniſh my Imagination, imploy my Thoughts, pleaſe my Curioſity, and entertain my time with Varieties, wherein, and wherewith, I may paſs my life with fine Phantaſms, or like a fine Dream.

Pleaſure

It is a ſign you love ſleep exceſſively well, ſo as you would have your life paſs as a dream

Exceſs

Why, Madam, ſleeping is the lifes Elizium, and our dreams the paſtime therein, and our beds are our living graves, to the greateſt part of our life, and moſt are beſt pleaſed therein: for it gives reſt to our wearied and tired limbs, it revives the weak and fainting ſpirits, it eaſes the ſick and pained, it pacifies the grieved, it humours the melancholy, it cheriſhes age, it nouriſhes youth, it begets warmth, it cools heat, it reſtores health, it prolongs life, and keeps the mind in peace.

Eaſe

I will not chooſe, but wiſh and pray, which is, if ever I marry, I pray Jove that I may out-live my Husband.

Bon’ Eſprit

O fie, Women pray that their Husbands may out-live them.

Eaſe

If they do, in my Conſcience they diſſemble, but howſoever I will never pray ſo: for I perceive when men are Widowers, they more haſty to marry again than Batchellors are, and the laſt love blots out the firſt, and I ſhould be ſorry to be blotted out.

Ambition

But if men do marry after they have buried their firſt Wife, yet perchance they will not love their ſecond Wife ſo well as the firſt.

Eaſe

I know not that, but yet to the outward view I perceive a man ſeems to forget his firſt Wife in the preſence of his ſecond Wife.

Faction

By your favour, a ſecond Wife puts a Husband in remembrance of his firſt Wife, either for goodneſs or badneſs.

Eaſe

For my part, I would not be kept in remembrance by one in my room; but howſoever, I ſhall love my ſelf better than I’m ſure I ſhall love my Husband, and therefore I deſire to live long: for I had rather live and have him in remembrance, than die and ſo forget him; and I had rather remember than be remember’d.

Enter Grave Temperance.

Pleaſure

O Temperance; I heard ſay that you have ſeen the rare Beauty, Madamoiſelle la Belle.

Portrait

And is ſhe ſo handſome as ſhe is reported to be?

Temperance

Truly ſhe is a pretty young Lady.

Faction

Is ſhe only a pretty Lady?

Bon’ Eſprit

Why ſhe is young, and thoſe that are very young, are only pretty; but thoſe that are at full growth are beautiful and handſome, and thoſe in their Autumnal years are Lovely, and thoſe that are old are illfavour’d.

Temperance

No, no, thoſe Women that have been once handſom, never grow ill-favour’d.

Pleaſure

Well, ſetting aſide old women, what ſay you to the young Lady?

Gggg2 Tempe- 304 Gggg2v 304

Temperance

I ſay ſhe is handſomer at a diſtance than neer-hand.

Superbe

That’s well, for then her praiſes will be only at a diſtance.

Temperance

No by’r Lady, ſhe hath Beauty enough to be praiſed to her face.

Portrait

I had rather appear handſomer at a diſtance than at a near view, than ſeem worſe at a diſtance, and handſomer at a near view.

Ambition

Why ſo?

Portrait

By reaſon there is no Woman but is ſeen more by ſtrangers than acquaintance; beſides, whole ſtreets of people view Ladies as they paſſe through in their Coaches, when perchance not above half a dozen neighbours and acquaintance ſee them near hand.

Faction

So you may have many Admirers, but few Lovers.

Portrait

Faith the rareſt Beauties that ever were, the more they were known and ſeen, the leſs Eſteem’d and Admir’d they were: for an unacquainted face appears, or at leaſt pleaſeth better, although but an indifferent Beauty, than a common face, although it excels with Beauty.

Pleaſure

Did you not hear Madamoiſelle la Belle ſpeak?

Temperance

No faith, ſhe may be dumb for any thing I know.

Bon’ Eſprit

How is ſhe behav’d?

Temperance

After the Country Mode.

Ambition

What manner of Woman is her Mother?

Temperance

A Country Lady.

Faction

Faith if Madamoiſelle la Belle hath neither Wit nor Behaviour, her Beauty will be dim’d for the want of either: for Wit and Behaviour are the Poliſhers of Beauty, otherwiſe Beauty is but like a Diamond unfil’d, or unpoliſh’d, or like gold untry’d, or unrefin’d.

Temperance

Nay Ladies, ſhe may have a great Wit for all that I know: for ſhe did not expreſs either ſimplicity or ignorance, whilſt I was in her company ſhe ſpake not one word.

Superbe

Let us examine no more, but let us go ſee her, and then diſcourſe with her.

Exeunt.

Scene 10.

Enter Mother Matrons Maid, and Monſieur Frisk.

Frisk

Pretty Maid, would you ſpeak with me?

Maid

Yes, and if’t pleaſe your Worſhip.

Frisk

From whom come you?

Maid

From my Miſtris.

Frisk

Who is you Miſtris?

Maid

Mother Matron.

Frisk

What Meſſage hath Mother Matron ſent to me?

Maid

She hath ſent your Worſhip a Letter, and deſires your Worſhip to ſend her an Anſwer.

Frisk

Go and ſtay within, and I will give you an Anſwer.

Exit Maid. Frisk. 305 Hhhh1r 305

Frisk

This Letter is concerning ſome of the young Ladies that are in Love with me. He kiſſeth the Letter, Bleſſed Letter, that art the Meſſenger of Love, the Preſenter of Youth, Beauty and Wit, and the Inviter to Pleaſure. He opens the Letter, and reads it aloud, as to himſelf. The Letter.Sweet Monſieur Frisk,O Dear Monſieur Frisk, ſince I laſt ſaw you, and heard you ſpeak ſo wiſely, as that you would wait upon the Ladies, and proffer ſo kindly, as to proffer me a kiſs, meeting you in the Lane called Loves Folly. O that Lane, that fortunate or unfortunate Lane! for as my wiſhes ſucceed, the Lane proves good or bad: for ſince that time of meeting, I have loved you, or rather, I may ſay, I have been in Love with you, or rather, I may ſay, I have Fancy’d you beyond all other young Gentlemen, and I hope you will return the like to me: For though I am not in my blooming Beauty, yet I am not quite decay’d, but there remains ſome freſh colour, wherewith a young Gentleman may take delight; and let me tell you, the Autumn is more pleaſant than the Spring, for the Spring is raw and cold, the Autumn is warm and comfortable: wherefore let me perſwade you, ſweet Monſieur Frisk, to chuſe the Autumnal fruits, and reject the Springing buds, which are incipid and taſteleſs: Ripe fruits are better than green, and Winter-fruits more laſting than the fruits of the Summer: Staid Gravity is more happy to live with, than wilde Inconſtancy; the wiſedome of Age is more profitable than the follies of Youth; not that I ſay I’m old, nor pray think me not ſo, but that I am as wiſe as Age can make me, and Wiſedome is not a portion that is given to every one, yet what wiſedome I have, I will impart to you, ſweet Monſieur Frisk, you ſhall be the Receiver, the Treaſurer, and the Diſpoſer; alſo with my wiſdome I give my heart, with my heart I give you my perſon, which wiſedome, heart, and perſon, is not to be deſpiſed: for by my wiſedome you will receive Counſel, with my heart Love, and with my perſon that Beauty Time hath left me, who like a cheating knave, hath rob’d me of ſome, but yet there is enough left, dear Monſieur Frisk, to delight your view: for although I am not like Hellen of Greece, yet I am like Hellen, when ſhe was Hellen of Troy, for then, by my faith, ſhe was in her Autumnal years, as I am, which was about fifty, or by’r Lady, ſomewhat more, and then ſhe was as dear to her Paris, witneſs Troy, and as much deſired of her of…witneſs the Greeks, as when ſhe was but fifteen. Wherefore, dear Frisk, let me be thy Hellen, and be thou my Paris, and let our Loves be as bright as the fire of Troy, but not ſo conſuming; but if thou deny’ſt me, I ſhall conſume in mine own flames, and be buried in mine own aſhes, which will fly in the face of thy cruelty, to revenge me thyLanguiſhing Lover, namely Mother Matron.

Frisk

A pox of her luxurious Appetite, to be Amorous at fourſcore, one might have thought, nay ſworn, that Cupids fire had been put out with Times Extinguiſher; but I perceive by Mother Matron, that time hath no power over that Appetite, but I am ſorry time hath made her ſuch a creature, as not to be capable of curſes, for ſhe is her ſelf a curſe beyond all I could give her; but if ſhe were capable, I would bury her under a mountain of curſes, for Hhhh raiſing 306 Hhhh1v 306 raiſing up my hopes to the height of young beautiful Ladies by the outſide of the Letter, and then fruſtrating my expectation by the inſide, cauſing me to fall from the bower of bliſs, into the grave of life, the habitation of death, from a young Beauty, to an old doting Woman: Oh, I will tear this letter that hath deceived me; but ſtay, I will keep this letter to make ſport amongſt the young Ladies, which ſport may perchance inſinuate me into ſome favour with the young Ladies: for as idle and ridiculous paſtime, or means as this is, hath got many times good ſucceſs amongſt Ladies: wherefore I will, for their ſport-ſake, jeſtingly Court Mother Matron, and in the mean time of the Progreſs, write her a letter.

Exit.

Act III.

Scene 11.

Enter Madamoiſelle Ambition, and Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Inquiſitive

I hear, Madamoiſelle Ambition, you are to marry Monſieur Vain-glorious.

Ambition

No, for I am too honeſt to marry one man, and love, admire, and eſteem another man beyond him; but when I marry, I will marry ſuch a one as I prize, honour, love, and admire above all other men, or elſe I will never marry.

Inquiſitive

What man could you eſteeem, honour, and love moſt?

Ambition

He that I thought had the nobleſt Soul, and had done the moſt worthyeſt Action.

Inquiſitive

But put the caſe that man that were as you would have him, were ſo ingag’d as you could not enjoy him in lawful mariage?

Ambition

I could lawfully enjoy him, although I could not lawfully marry him.

Inquiſitive

As how?

Ambition

As in Contemplation, for I could enjoy his Soul no otherwiſe, if I were maried to him: for if I were maried, I could but contemplate of his Merits, pleaſe my ſelf with the thoughts of his Virtues, honour his generous Nature, and praiſe his Heroick Actions: And theſe I can do as much, although I ſhould live at a diſtance from him, nor never be his Wife: for the mariage of Bodies, is no enjoyment of Souls.

Inquiſitive

This would only be an opinion of delight, but no true enjoyment of pleaſure: for though an Opinion may affright the Soul, yet the Opinion cannot pleaſure the Body. But ſay an Opinion could delight the Soul without the Senſes, yet the pleaſures of the Senſes are to be preferred before the delight of the Soul: for the truth is, that the ſpirits of life take more delight in ſenſual pleaſures, than in the Souls imagination: for life lives in the Senſes, not in the Soul: for were there no Senſes, there would be no Life.

Ambition 307 Hhhh2r 307

Ambition

By your favour, there is life in the Soul, when Death hath extinguiſh’d the Senses.

Inquiſitive

That’s more than you know, you believe it only upon report; but who hath had the trial or experience of the truth of it? So that the report is upon an unknown ground, and your belief is built upon an unſure Foundation.

Ambition

What belief is for my advantage, I will ſtrive and indeavour to ſtrengthen it, on what foundation ſoever it’s built upon.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter Monſieur Frisk, and Mother Matrons Maid.

Frisk

You will pardon me, pretty Maid, for cauſing you to ſtay ſo long, for an Anſwer of your Miſtris’s Letter.

Maid

There requires no pardon Sir, for I have been very well entertain’d by your man, I thank him.

Frisk

I perceive my man hath had better fortune than his Maſter, for he hath had youth to entertain; but I hope if you receive the mans entertainment ſo thankfully, you will not refuſe the Maſters.

Maid

My Miſtris would be jealous of your Worſhip, if you ſhould entertain me.

Frisk

Why, doth your Miſtris love me ſo much?

Maid

So much, as ſhe cannot ſleep quietly for dreaming of you; nor lets me ſleep: for ſhe wakes me every night to tell me her dreams.

Frisk

What dreams ſhe?

Maid

One dream was, ſhe dream’d that ſhe was Diana, and you Acteon.

Frisk

What, to ſet horns on my head?

Maid

No, my Miſtris ſaid, that ſhe in her dream did more as a Godeſs ought to have done, than Diana did: for ſhe was generous in her dream, and not cruel, for inſtead of horning you, ſhe invited you into her Bath.

Frisk

I hope you were one of her Nymphs.

Maid

Another time ſhe dream’d you were Mercury, and ſhe Herce; and another, that ſhe was Venus, and you Adonis; but the laſt night ſhe awaked out of a fearful dream.

Frisk

What dream was that?

Maid

She dream’t that ſhe was Queen Dido, and you the Prince Æneas, and when you were ſhip’d and gone away, ſhe ſtab’d her ſelf.

Frisk

If ſhe were Dido, I ſhould prove Æneas.

Maid

On my Conſcience ſhe fetch’d as many ſighs when ſhe awak’d, and made as many pitious complaints and lamentations, as if her dream had been true, and ſhe really had been Queen Dido, inſomuch as I was afraid that ſhe would have killed herſelf indeed, and was running forth the Chamber to call in company to hinder her, but that ſhe commanded me to ſtay, ſaying, that it was but the paſſion of her dream, for ſhe hoped that you would prove a more conſtant and faithful Lover, than to leave her to deſpair.

Frisk

The next time ſhe is in the ſame paſſion, tell her I will be like Hhhh2 Æneas, 308 Hhhh2v 308 Æneas, meet her in Hell: In the mean time carry her this Letter.

Maid

Lord, Lord, ſhe will be a joy’d woman, to receive a letter from you, and I ſhall be a welcome Meſſenger unto her, and the letter will be worth a new gown to me.

Frisk

I wiſh it may be a gown of price to thee.

Exeunt.

Scene 13.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical, and Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Bon’ Eſprit

How ſhall I pacifie my companions, or qualifie their ſpleens? who will be in a furious rage, when they perceive and know my real love to you: for they made me as their hook to the line of their Angle, and hope to catch you like a Gudgion.

Satyrical

All that Angle do not catch; yet you have drawn me forth of the ſalt Satyrical Sea.

Bon’ Eſprit

But their deſire is, that you ſhould lie gaſping on the ſhore of Love.

Satyrical

Would they be ſo cruel, as not to throw me into a freſh River?

Bon’ Eſprit

No: for they joy in the thought of your torments, and their general prayers are to Cupid, imploring him to wound you with a goldenheaded Arrow, and ſhe you love, with an Arrow headed with lead: As for their particular prayers, they are after this manner.

One prays you may ſigh your ſelf into Air, and the Air ſo infectious, as it may plague all the Satyrical of your Sex.

Another prayeth you may weep tears of Vitriol, and that the ſharpneſs of thoſe tears may corode your ſoul.

Another prays that your paſſion of love may be ſo hot, as it may torment you, as Hell-fire doth the damned; but Mother Matron, beſide ſaying Amen to all their prayers, makes her prayers thus, That ſhe for whoſe ſake you muſt endure all theſe torments, may be the oldeſt, and moſt ill-favour’d deform’d woman that ever Nature, Accident, and Time made.

Satyrical

She would have me in Love with her ſelf, it ſeems by her prayer.

Bon’ Eſprit

If ſhe did hear you, ſhe would die for want of Revenge.

Satyrical

But Miſtris, what prayer made you for me?

Bon’ Eſprit

Not a curſing prayer: for though Mother Matron would have carried me up to the top of the Hell of Rage, and inſtead of a prayer for you, there to have made me curſes againſt you, yet ſhe could neither force me up the one, nor perſwade me to the other: for I told her I would give a bleſſing inſtead of a curſe, and for fear of that, ſhe left perſiſting.

Satyrical

I perceive I had been in danger, had not you ſav’d me, and like a merciful Godeſs kept me from their fury; but I’m afraid, that for my ſake they will curſe you now.

Bon’ Eſprit

No doubt of it; but the beſt of’t is, that their curſing prayers, or prayers of cutrſes, go no farther than their lips.

Satyrical

For all their furious rage, ſelf-conceit perſwades me, that if I had 309 Iiii1r 309 had addreſt my ſelf as a Suter to any one of them, they would have been more merciful than to have deny’d my ſute.

Bon’ Eſprit

I can think no otherwiſe: for I ſhall judge them by my ſelf.

Satyrical

Pray let’s go, and invite them to our Wedding.

Bon’ Eſprit

By no means: for they will take that as ill, as if you did ind ieed invite them to a poyſon’d Banquet: But if I may adviſe, it is not to tell them our Deſign, but let them find it out themſelves.

Satyrical

I ſhall agree to your Counſel.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Mother Matron, and her Maid.

Matron

Come, come, I have watch’d and long’d for your Return above two hours, I may ſay above two years, for ſo the time did ſeem to me. O Venus, thou Fair and Amorous Godeſs, ſend me a comfortable Anſwer, if’t be thy will!

Maid

I have brought you a Letter from Monſieur Frisk; but for my part I know not what comfort he hath ſent you.

Matron

O Cupid, O Cupid, be my friend! She opens the Letter and reads it aloud. The Letter.Amourous Mother Matron; Thhough Time hath made you fit for Heaven, having worn out your body, a ſubſtance for Love to work upon, converting or tranſlating it all into Soul, an incorporeal ſhadow, which none but the Gods can imploy to any uſe; yet ſince you Eſteem and Love me as a God, to reſign up that incorporality, I can do no leſs than return you thanks, although I never did merit ſuch a gift: But my ſins, I confeſs are many, and deſerve great puniſhments, yet I hope the Gods will be more merciful, than to leave me void of reaſon, or to ſuffer Nature to make me to have extravagant appetites, or Heaven to leave me to extravagant appetites; but howſoever, as occaſions fall out, I ſhall ſhew reverence to your Motherly Gravitie, and in the mean time reſtYour Admirer,Frisk.

Matron

I know not by this Letter whether he will be my Lover, or not; yet I will kiſs it for his ſake. She kiſſes the Letter: O ſweet Letter, thou happy Paper, that haſt receiv’d the preſſure of this hand! What did he ſay when he gave you this letter to bring me?

Maid

He talk’d of Pluto, and of Hell.

Iiii Matron 310 Iiii1v 370310

Matron

How, of Hell!

Maid

Yes, but it was concerning Æneas and Dido.

Mother Matron fetches a great ſigh.

Matron

I hope he will not make me ſuch an Example as Queen Dido, nor himſelf ſo falſe a Lover as Æneas; but if he ſhould, I will cry out, O thou my cruel Æneas haſt ſlain me!

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter Superbe, Portrait, Faction, and Pleaſure.

Faction

Now I have ſeen Madamoiſelle la Belle, I perceive Fame gives more praiſe than Nature Beauty.

Superbe

To ſome ſhe doth.

Portrait

Nay faith, for the moſt part, to all.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality.

Senſuality

O Ladies, there is the greateſt loſs befallen me, that ever befell man!

Portrait

What loſs?

Senſuality

Why Madamoiſelle la Belle is gone.

Pleaſure

How gone? Is ſhe maried, or dead?

Senſuality

Faith ſhe’s as bad as dead to me, and worſe than if ſhe were maried: for if ſhe were a Wife, there would be ſome hopes; but her careful Father hath carry’d her away into the Country, being jealous of the much company that came to viſit her.

Faction

It ſeems he knew ſhe was apt to be catch’d, that he durſt not truſt her: But how came you to receive a greater loſs than the reſt of the Maſculine Viſiters?

Senſuality

Becauſe I had greater hopes than I perceive the reſt had.

Portrait

Why, had you a deſign to get her for a Wife?

Senſuality

No faith, mine was a better deſign, which was to get her for a Miſtris.

Superbe

But it was likely ſhe would never have been your Miſtris.

Senſuality

It was likely ſhe would have been my Miſtris: for ſhe was fair and fooliſh, kind and toyiſh, and had an inviting Eye.

Pleaſure

Why you may follow her into the Country.

Senſuality

No, the City is ſo well ſtored, as I ſhall not need to put my ſelf to that trouble, as to journey after her.

Exeunt.
Scene 311 Iiii2r 371311

Scene 16.

Enter Mother Matron alone.

Matron

O Love! thou tormenter of ſoft hearts, or a melter of hard ones, ſoften the hard heart of Monſieur Frisk, and eaſe my ſoft and tender heart, inflame his ſpirits to love, and refreſh mine with his kindneſs: O Venus, perſwade thy Son in my behalf, and conſider me by thy ſelf! Ha, ho!

Exit.

Scene 17.

Enter Temperance, Faction, Portrait, Pleaſure, Ambition, and Superbe.

Temperance

I would never have an extraordinary Beauty ſeen but once; and that ſhould be in a publick Aſſembly.

Pleaſure

It is a ſign, Temperance, your beauty is paſt: for would you have an extraordinary Beauty to be buried in oblivion?

Temperance

No: for I would have all the World ſee, if it could be ſhewn to the whole World; but I would have it ſhewn but once, and no more.

Superbe

Why ſo?

Temperance

Becauſe what is common, is never highly priz’d, but rather deſpis’d, or at leaſt neglected by continuance: for that which is at firſt admir’d as a wonder, when it comes to be as a domeſtick, is not regarded: for it is an old ſaying, That the greateſt wonder laſts but nine days.

Portrait

But there is ſuch a ſympathy betwixt beauty and ſight, that as long as beauty doth laſt, ſight will take delight to look thereon; and the Deſign, End, or Fruition of Beauty, is to be gaz’d upon: for from the ſight it receives Praiſe, Love, and Deſire, and by reflection ſets all hearts on fire.

Faction

O that I had ſuch a Beauty as would burn every Maſculine heart into cinders!

Temperance

Why are you ſo cruel, Lady, to wiſh ſuch a wiſh to the Maſculine Sex?

Faction

My wiſh proceeds out of love to my ſelf, and mercy to men. First, out of love to my ſelf: for as I am a woman, I naturally deſire Beauty, and there is no woman that had not rather have beauty, although attended with an unfortunate life, than be ill-favour’d, to enjoy proſperity.

The laſt wiſh is out of mercy to men: for their hearts are ſo falſe and foul, as no way but burning can purifie them.

Ambition

That were the way to try their conſtancy.

Temperance

For my part, if it were in my power to chooſe, I would rather have Wit than Beauty: for Wit pleaſeth the Ear, both longer and more, than Beauty pleaſeth the Sight, and the ſound of the one, ſpreads farther Iiii2 than 312 Iiii2v 312 than the ſight of the other: Beſides, Wit recreates the Mind, and entertains the Reaſon, Beauty only the Senſe, and but one ſenſe, as the ſight, when Wit is a companion not only to the ſenſe of Hearing, but the ſoul of Underſtanding; and it is not only a delightful Companion, but a ſubtil Obſerver, an ingenious Inventer, an excellent Artificer, a politick Counſellour, a powerful Commander, a prudent Ruler, and a divine Creator; it obſerves all natures works; it invents all uſeful Arts, it frames all Common-wealths, it guides the Senſes, rules the Appeties, commands the Paſſions, counſels the Thoughts, regulates the Opinions, creates the Conceptions, Imaginations, and Fancies; it builds Potieetical Caſtles, and makes Gardens of Rhetorick, and makes the found Harmonical, playing with words, as on muſical Inſtruments: Beſides, Wit continues to old Age, when Beauty vades in a year or two.

Superbe

Come, come, Temperance, if you were young, you would prefer Beauty before a Wit, by which you might get more pleaſure by the one, than profit by the other: But all our Sex, when they grow in years, deſire to be thought Wits, when they can no longer be thought Beauties, which makes them diſpute for Wit, and diſpraiſe Beauty, by undervaluing it.

Enter Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Pleaſure

Madmoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit, you are welcom: for we long to hear the ſucceſs of your deſign, ſince we have heard that Monſieur Satyrical hath been to viſit you, hath he not?

Bon’ Eſprit

Yes.

Ambition

But have you catch’d him?

Bon’ Eſprit

Sure enough.

Portrait

Then ſtrangle him with Cupids bow-ſtring.

Faction

Hang him, that’s not puniſhment enough.

Superbe

No; but when he’s a confirm’d Lover, report he’s mad.

Ambition

We ſhall not need to report that: for when he is a confirm’d Lover, he will do ſuch ridiculous actions, and behave himſelf ſo extravagantly vain, and ſo conſtrainly fooliſh, and ſpeak ſuch non-ſenſe, in ſtriving to ſpeak beyond the power of words, inſomuch as all that hear and ſee him, will ſwear he’s mad.

Pleaſure

They will ſwear nothing but the truth; for all Lovers are mad, more or leſs. But Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit, are you ſure you have him in Cupids ſnare?

Bon’ Eſprit

I do verily believe I have him in Loves bonds.

Portrait

O how I joy, to think how we ſhall triumph!

Superbe

What ſhall our Triumphant-Chariot be?

Faction

Scorns, ſcorns, ſet on the wheels of laughter, drawn by a company of lame, ſore, ſcurvy words.

Bon’ Eſprit

Will you have your Triumphant-Chariot drawn by a company of fooliſh words? that will be as bad, and as much diſgrace, as leanjaded horſes in a brave gilded Coach.

Pleaſure

No, no, ſprightly jets were better.

Bon’ Eſprit

They may chance to run you out of the field of Civility, at leaſt out of the right ways of Wit.

Ambition

Let them run where they will, ſo they carry his reproach with them.

Bon’ Eſprit

Will you carry this reproach along with you, and leave him behind you?

Faction 313 Kkkk1r 313

Faction

We will carry his reproach about the World.

Bon’ Eſprit

While you bear the burthen, he will reſt at home in eaſe and peace in his mind.

Faction

Good Lord; what makes you thus to contradict our Deſigns?

Bon’ Eſprit

I do not contradict your Deſigns, but ſhew you the Errour of your Conduct.

Pleaſure

Why then conduct us better.

Bon’ Eſprit

So I ſhall, if you will give me leave: for I ſhall conduct you through the fair ways of peace, and not through the foul ways of malice, which are myery and deep with revenge, in which you may ſtick, or be thrown in diſgrace; but I will carry you through the ſweet Meadows of good Nature, wherein runs clear Rivulets of Charity, in which you may bathe your ſelves under the fruitful trees of good works, and take the freſh Air of Applauſe, and be cool’d with the ſoft winds of Praiſe. Thus waſh’d, cleans’d, and refreſh’d, you will be fit to enter into the Palace of Fame.

Faction

Heyday, where will your Tongue carry us?

Bon’ Eſprit

As high as it can, even to the Houſe of Fame, which ſtands on the higheſt pinacle of Heaven.

Ambition

Let me examine you, Are you not carry’d by love to the top of Parnaſſus Hill?

Superbe

By Jupiter, ſhe that went to catch Love, is catch’d by Love her ſelf.

Portrait

Venus forbid: for that would be ſuch a diſgrace, as we ſhall be never able to pull off, or rub out.

Bon’ Eſprit

What you cannot rub out, or pull off, you muſt be content to wear with patience.

Exit Bon’ Eſprit.

Pleaſure

I ſuſpect her.

Ambition

I confeſs I doubt her.

Superbe

I fear your doubts.

Faction

I am confident we have loſt her, ſtriving to catch him.

Portrait

Let us follow her, and examine her.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality, and Monſieur Cenſure.

Senſuality

I hear that thou intend’ſt to be a marry’d man ſhortly.

Cenſure

Yes faith, I am going to put my neck into the nooze.

Senſuality

Nay, if you nooze it, hang it; for the nooze of mariage is ten times worſe than the halter of death.

Cenſure

I am not of your Opinion.

Senſuality

Why then thou art not of a wiſe opinion: for in Death there is no trouble, and in Mariage no quiet.

Cenſure

A ſingle life is melancholy, being ſolitary.

Senſuality

So I perceive rather than you’l want company, thou wilt aſſociate thy ſelf with cares and vexations.

Cenſure

No, I will aſſociate my ſelf with Wife and Children.

Kkkk Senſu- 314 Kkkk1v 314

Senſuality

Well, let me tell you, if that thou marrieſt, a hundred to one but thou wilt be a Cuckold.

Cenſure

I hope not.

Senſuality

How canſt thou have hopes, when that the Gods are Cuckolds? wherefore ’tis impoſſible mortal men ſhould eſcape.

Cenſure

All the Gods are not ſo, it is but only limping Vulcan that is one

Senſuality

Pardon me: for if their divine Wives make them not Cuckolds, yet their humane Wives do.

Cenſure

But the Gods marry not humane creatures.

Senſuality

But humane creatures marry the Gods, and that is all one: for in all Religions there are Nuns are the Gods humane wives; and did not Cataline Cuckold the Gods, when he lay with a Veſtal Nun? And many more are mentioned in Story, and you may well believe all are not Recorded.

Cenſure

Well, if the Gods be Cuckolds, I may have the leſs cauſe to murmur, if I ſhould be one: for it is an honour to be like the Gods.

Senſuality

Well, I wiſh as thy friend, that thou mayſt flouriſh in that Honour.

Exeunt.

Act IV.

Scene 19.

Enter Ambition, Faction, Pleaſure, Portrait, Superbe, Temperance, as following Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Pleaſure

We do not like your dark Anſwers: for Truth is clear.

Ambition

Confeſs, have you deceived us, or not?

Bon’ Eſprit

I have not deceived you: for you did inſtruct me to draw him to Love, and to be in love as a Lover, and I have diſcharged your truſt, and have brought your deſigns to paſs.

Faction

But our deſigns were not that he ſhould be beloved of you, but hated of all our Sex.

Bon’ Eſprit

Why then you did ſpread your deſigns beyond your reach: for do you think you have the power of Fate, to rule, govern, aned diſposſe of the paſſions of Mankind as you pleaſe, when alas you are ſo powerleſs, as you cannot rule, govern, and diſpoſe of your own paſſions, and ſo ignorant, that you know not your own deſtinies, nor how, nor to what your paſſions will lead you to: Beſides, you injoyn’d not my paſſions, you did not forbid me to love him, but only imploy’d my Wit to make him a Lover, and ſo I have.

Portrait

And you have prov’d your ſelf a Fool, in becoming a Lover.

Bon’ Eſprit

Loſers may have leave to ſpeak any thing, and therefore I will not quarrel with you.

Superbe 315 Kkkk2r 315

Superbe

We are not loſers by the loſs of you.

Faction

But we are, for with the loſs of her, we have loſt our ſweet revenge: for by her we thought to have catch’d him like a Woodcock in a Net, and then to have cut off his wings of Fancy, and to have pull’d out his feathers of Pride, or elſe to have intic’d him like a fool with a rattle, and then to have toſs’d him on Satyrical Tongues, as in a blanket of ſhame: But now, inſtead of a blanket of ſhame, he will lie in the Arms of Beauty, and inſtead of being toſs’d with ſatyrical tongues, he will be flatter’d with kiſſes, for which we may curſe the Fates.

Pleasure

But it is ſtrange to me, that ſhe can love ſuch a railing ill-natur’d man as Monſieur Satyrical.

Ambition

I wonder ſhe doth not bluſh at her choiſe! Are you not out of countenance, to be in love with ſuch a man, that is the worſt of men?

Portrait

Confeſs, do not you repent?

Bon’ Eſprit

So far am I from repenting, as I love him ſo well, as he ſeems to me to be ſuch a perſon, as to be ſo much above the reſt of Mankind, as he ought to be ador’d, worſhip’d, kneel’d down and pray’d to, as to a Deity; and the beginning of thoſe prayers offer’d to him ſhould be, O thou worthyeſt, meritoriouſeſt, and beſt of men!

Faction

She’s mad, ſhe’s ſtark mad: wherefore let us binde her with chains, and whip her with cords, to bring her to her wits again.

Enter Monſieur Satyrical.

Bon’ Eſprit

Oh Sir, you are a perſon born to relieve the diſtreſſed, and comfort the afflicted: for you are come in a timely hour, to releaſe me from a company of Furies that threaten me.

Satyrical

Theſe Ladies appear too fair to be the daughters of Night, who are ſaid to be the Furies. But Ladies, I hope you will pardon me for taking away ſo pleaſing a companion from you as my Miſtris is; but by her I ſhall be made Maſter of a world of happineſs, and I ſhall not only enjoy a world, but a Heavenly Paradiſe, wherein all Goodneſs, Virtues, Beauties, and ſweet Graces are planted: And what man would not challenge or claim Heaven, if Heaven could be gain’d by claiming; wherefore I challenge and claim this Lady, as being mine to enjoy.

Faction

If you had challen’d or claim’d any other Lady, in my conſcience you would have been refuſed.

Satyrical

I deſire no more than what I have.

Exit Satyrical, and his Miſtris Bon’ Eſprit.

Portrait

I could cry with anger.

Temperance

Ladies, take my couſel, which is, to be friends with Madam Bon’ Eſprit, and Monſieur Satyrical, otherwiſe they will laugh at you to see what fools they have made you.

Pleaſure

She gives us good advice; wherefore let us follow it, and be friends.

Faction

I may be ſeemingly friends, but never really friends.

Temperance

Why ſeeming friendſhip paſſes and traffiques as well in the world, as thoſe that are real.

Superbe

You ſay well: wherefore let us ſeem to be friends.

Exeunt.
Kkkk2 Scene 316 Kkkk2v 316

Scene 20.

Enter Monſieur Frisk, and Mother Matrons Maid.

Frisk

My fair Maid, what Meſſage have you brought me now?

Maid

My Miſtris remembers her loving love unto you, and bids me tell you, that ſhe takes it wondrous unkindly that you ſhew’d the young Ladies the Letter, and that ſhe heard you mock’d and jeer’d at her.

Frisk

Tell her I did but as all Lovers uſe to do, vaunt of their Miſtis’s love, and boaſt of their Miſtris’s favours.

Maid

She doth not like your boaſting; but howſoever, to ſhew and expreſs her conſtant love and affectionate heart, ſhe hath ſent you two hundred pounds to buy you a Nag.

Frisk

I accept of the Preſent, and tell her I will ride the Nag for her ſake.

Maid

My Miſtris will be a joy’d Woman, to hear that you will ride for her ſake.

Frisk

But is thy Miſtris rich?

Maid

Yes by my truth is ſhe; for ſhe hath ſtore of bags in her Cheſts.

Frisk

But are they full of gold and ſilver?

Maid

Yes: for I have ſeen her tell the money in the bags, bag after bag.

Frisk

Is it all her own?

Maid

Yes certainly it is all her own.

Frisk

How came ſhe to be ſo rich?

Maid

Why the young Ladies Parents give her money or moneys worth to Govern and Educate their Daughters, and the young Ladies bribe her to keep their counſels, and ſee her to be their Agent, and their Courtly Servants preſent her with rich gifts to prefer their Sutes, and to ſpeak in their behalfs to the young Ladies; and thus ſhe gains on every ſide, and takes gifts on both hands, and ſhe being miſerable and ſparing, muſt needs be rich; but now ſhe is become a Lover, ſhe begins to grow prodigal, as all Lovers are; but if ſhe had a million, ſhe ſays, nay ſwears, ſhe could beſtow it all on her beloved, which beloved is your Worſhip.

Frisk

I could be well content to marry her wealth, and lie with her Maid, but I would not be troubled with the Miſtris.

Maid

My Miſtris, I believe, will be a very fond Wife.

Frisk

And that fondneſs is the ſecond obſtacle I ſtick at: for firſt to be old, and then to be fond, will be a double miſery, as being an intolerable trouble, and a nauſeous vexation; for there is nothing more hateful, than an amorous fond old woman: But if thou wilt be fond of me, I ſhall like it well; and if any thing could perſwade me to marry thy Miſtris, next to her wealth, will be in hopes of thy kindneſs. What ſay you, will you be kind?

Maid

I ſhall not be undutiful: when you are my Maſter, I ſhall deny no ſervice I can do your Worſhip.

Frisk

That’s well promis’d: In the mean time remember me to thy Miſtris, and thank her for her for her Preſent, and tell her, the more ſuch Preſents ſhe ſends, the welcomer they ſhall be.

Exeunt.
scene 317 Llll1r 317

Scene 21.

Enter Monſieur Senſuality, and Madamoiſelle Portrait.

Senſuality.

Madamoiſelle, you may do a charitable Act.

Portrait

As how?

Senſuality

As to marry me.

Portrait

If it be a Charity to you, it would be none to my ſelf, but the contrary: I ſhould prove cruel to my ſelf, in making my life unhappy.

Senſuality

Yet it will be a meritorious Act: for what is more meritorious than to ſave a ſoul?

Portrait

So I ſhall rob Pluto of his due and juſt right.

Senſuality

He will never miſs his loſs; for on my Conſcience he is not ſo good an Arithmetician, as he could count and number the Millions of ſouls he hath in Hell, or thoſe he hath right to; nay, if he had the skill of Utlick, he could not number them, for they ſurmount all Accounts.

Portrait

But the torments he puts ſouls to will find them out.

Senſuality

It is a queſtion whether ſouls are capable of torments; but howſoever; to put it out of queſtion, pray marry me: for I am become of a ſudden very conſentious.

Portrait

But there will be another queſtion, which is, Whether Mariage will ſave you, or not?

Senſuality

O yes: for the Purgatory of Mariage doth purifie Souls, and make them fit for Heaven.

Portrait

But I fear, that if I ſhould marry you, I ſhould do like thoſe that ſtrive to ſave a drowning man; ſo I, indeavouring to ſave you, ſhould loſe my ſelf.

Senſuality

There is no Honourable Act, without ſome danger to the Actor.

Portrait

But all wiſe Actions have ſecurity?

Senſuality

There is no ſecurity in Nature.

Portrait

I will conſider, although after a wiſe conſideration I do a fooliſh action, as moſt conſiderers do.

Exeunt.

Act V.

Scene 22.

Enter Monſieur Heroick, and Madamoiſelle Ambition.

Heroick

Madam, I hear I live in your good Opinion.

Ambition

Your merits do.

Heroick

I hope if you do eſteem my merits, if I have merits to be eſteem’d, you will not deſpise my Perſon, nor deny my Sute.

Llll Ambition 318 Llll1v 318

Ambition

I eſteem of your perſon for your mertis ſake, and thoſe that have merits, and are worthy, will make no ignoble Sute: wherefore I may grant it before I know it.

Heroick

My Sute is, to accept of me for your Husband.

Ambition

I ſhall not deny to be your Wife.

Enter as to theſe Couple all the Cabal, as Pleaſure, Portrait, Faction, Superbe, Bon’ Eſprit, Temperance, Matron, Wanton, Exceſs, Eaſe, Tranquillitous Peace, Vain-glorious, Cenſure, Satyrical, Frisk, Senſuality, Buſie, Inquiſitive, Liberty.

Tranquill

Well met, Monſieur Heroical, and Madamoiſelle Ambition.

Inquiſitive

Now we are all met, how ſhall we paſs the time away?

Pleaſure

Nay rather, how ſhall we recreate our time?

Vain-glor

Let us ſit and declare what we love or hate.

All ſpeak

Agreed,

Superbe

Shall we declare our love or our hate first?

Cenſure

Our love firſt.

Heroick

Nay faith let love cloſe up our diſcourſe.

Ambition

Then let hate be the Gentleman-Uſher.

Bon’ Eſprit

She will uſher you into foul ways.

Senſuality

Let her uſher us into as foul ways as ſhe will, we will follow her.

All ſpeak

Begin, begin.

Superbe

I hate poverty: for that dejects the Spirits, and oppreſſeth the Life.

Satyrical

I hate falſhood: for that deceives my Reaſon, and blind-folds my Senſes.

Bon’ Eſprit

I hate a fool, becauſe he obſtructs my Underſtanding, and ſets my Brain on the Rack.

Tranquill

I hate noiſe, becauſe it diſturbs my thoughts, hurts my hearing, and buries ſenſe, reaſon, and auricular words.

Pleaſure

I hate ſickneſs, becauſe it is a friend to Death.

Vain-glor

I hate vain follies, becauſe they bring neither content, pleaſure, nor profit.

Ambition

I hate a Court, becauſe it puts Modeſty out of countenance, Patience out of humour, and Merit out of favour.

Heroick

I hate a ſlaviſh Peace, becauſe there is no imployment for noble active ſpirits

Exceſs

I hate truth, becauſe it tells me my faults.

Buſie

I hate truth, becauſe it hinders my ſearch thereof.

Eaſe

I hate motion, becauſe therein there is no reſt.

Inquiſitive

I hate reſt, becauſe it makes no Inquiries.

Temperance

I hate life, becauſe therein is more pain and trouble than pleaſure or peace.

Liberty

I hate reſtraint, becauſe it inſlaves life.

Wanton

I hate a Nunnery, becauſe it doth not only reſtrain, but bar out Sex from the ſight of men.

Temperance

Thou loveſt men well, that their ſight delights thee.

Cenſure

I hate light, becauſe it diſcovers Lovers.

Faction

I hate darkneſs, becauſe it conceals Adulteries.

Senſuality 319 Llll2r 319

Senſuality

I hate a chaſte Beauty, becauſe ſhe quenches my hopes, and inflames my deſires.

Portrait

I hate Madamoiſelle la Belle, becauſe Monſieur Senſuality did like her.

Frisk

I hate Age: for that vades Beauty, and baniſhes Lovers.

Matron

No more of Age and Hate, take Love without Beauty.

Bon’ Eſprit

Mother Matron would have you take her.

Frisk

Nay faith we will leave Mother Matron, and begin with Love.

Inquiſitive

I love plenty: for in plenty lives happineſs.

Wanton

I love freedom: for in freedom lives pleaſure.

Temperance

By your favour, Plenty may want happineſs, and Freedom pleaſure.

Senſuality

I love to go to Church.

Temperance

What, to hear a Sermon?

Senſuality

No, to meet a Miſtris.

Temperance

Out upon thee thou Reprobate, would you make a Church a Bawdy-houſe?

Senſuality

No, I would make that place where Beauties were, a Church, and the faireſt ſhould be the Godeſs I would pray to.

Temperance

There are not any that are fair will hear you.

Senſuality

And thoſe that are foul I will not pray to.

Cenſure

Follow Love: for that makes all things fair and pleaſing.

Eaſe

I love ſilence: for in ſilence my life lives eaſily, my thoughts freely, and my mind harmoniouſly.

Temperance

Sometimes the thoughts diſturb the mind, and ſo the life, more than noiſe diſturbs the thoughts.

Vain-glor

I love Honour: for in Honour lives Reſpect.

Portrait

I love Beauty: for in Beauty lives admiration.

Heroick

I love Fame: for in Fame lives the memory of the beſt of my Actions.

Ambition

I love power: for in power lives Adorations.

Satyrical

I love Wit: for that delights my ſelf, and recreates my friends.

Bon’ Eſprit

I love Eloquence: for that delights my Ear.

Temperance

But Eloquence will deceive your Judgment, delude your Underſtanding, and flatter your Paſſions with inſinuating perſwasſions, and will draw you into an Erroneous Belief, and by that unto unjuſt actions.

Senſuality

I love Madamoiſelle Portrait.

Portrait

I love Monſieur Senſuality.

Heroick

I love Madamoiſelle Ambition.

Ambition

I love Monſieur Heroick.

Satyrical

I love Madamoiſelle Bon’ Eſprit.

Bon’ Eſprit

I love Monſieur Satyrical.

Vain-glor

I love Madamoiſelle Superbe.

Superbe

I love Monſieur Vain-glorious.

Tranquill

I love Madamoiſelle Pleaſure.

Pleaſure

I love Monſieur Tranquillitous Peace.

Cenſure

I love Madamoiſelle Faction.

Faction

I love Monſieur Cenſure.

Buſie

I love ma filia Exceſs.

Exceſs

I love Monſieur Buſie.

Liberty

I love ma filia Wanton.

Llll2 Wanton 320 Llll2v 320

Wanton

I love Monſieur Liberty.

Eaſe

I love a ſingle life: for in Mariage lives too much trouble to live in Eaſe.

Temperance

I love to continue a Widow: for Temperance is baniſh’d from moſt places and perſons.

Matron

I love Monſieur Frisk; but Monſieur Frisk loves not me.

Cenſure

Faith I’ll perſwade him to love, if not thy perſon, yet thy wealth; for thou art rich, and he hath hardly enough means to bear up his Gentility: Beſides, one Maid and one Widow is enough, more would be too much.

Faction

And one Batchelour.

Cenſure

Who’s that?

Faction

Monſieur Inquiſitive.

Cenſure

Faith ’tis fit and proper he ſhould live a Batchelour: for an Inquiſitive Husband would not be good, neither for his own ſake, nor his Wifes.

Temperance

But Gentlemen and Ladies, although you all ſay you love ſuch a Lady, and ſuch a Lady loves ſuch a Gentleman, yet you do not ſay you will marry each other.

Faction

You may be ſure, if we do publickly profeſs love, we intend to marry: for though we may love and not marry, or marry and not love, yet not profeſs it in an open Aſſembly; for Love without Mariage lives incognito.

Tranquill

But mariage without love is viſible enough: for it lies to the view of all their neighbours knowledge.

Temperance

Well, noble Gentlemen, and vertuous Ladies, if you reſolve all to marry, I would adviſe you to marry all in one day.

Bon’ Eſprit

O Madam Temperance, you are ſick.

Temperance

Why?

Superbe

By reaſon healthful temperance never gives ſuch ſurfetting counſel: for there are as many of us as might be marying a year, and keeping their Feſtivals, and you would have all marry’d in one day.

Ambition

Madam Temperance means, ſhe would have a whole year as one Wedding-day

Heroick

And one Wedding-day to the Bride and Bridegroom, is as one whole year.

Satyrical

Not to every Bride and Bridegroom: for on my Conſcience Monſieur Frisk, if he ſhould marry Mother Matron, will think his Wedding day but a minute long.

Faction

But Mother Matron will think the day an Age.

Portrait

You ſpeak ſo loud, ſhe’l hear you.

Faction

O no, for the moſt part ſhe is deaf: for ſhe many times ſtops wool into her ears to keep out the cold.

Exeunt.
Scene 321 Mmmm1r 321

Scene 23.

Enter two Gentlemen

1 Gentleem

I hear that Wits Cabal is removing out of Cupids Court into Hymens priſon, and there to be bound in bond of Matrimony.

2 Gent

Faith I pity the Cabal, and condemn their Wit, by reaſon it did not keep them out of ſlavery.

1 Gentle

Wit is both a Pander and a Traitor: for Wit is a Pimp in Cupids Court, and betrays his Court to Hymens Priſon.

2 Gentlem

There are no priſoners look ſo dejectedly as Hymens priſoners.

1 Gentle

There is great reaſon for it: for they are almoſt ſtarv’d for want of variety, and they have leſs liverty than other priſoners have.

Exeunt.

Scene 24.

Enter two other Gentlemen.

I Gent

You hear of the great Mariages that are concluded on, and they are to be diſpatch’d out of hand.

2 Gent

Hear of them (ſay you) I muſt ſtop my Ears, and ſhut my Eyes, if I did not both hear and ſee their preparations: for all the Tradeſmen are ſo buſily imploy’d, as if they were never to ſell or work more after theſe Mariages.

1 Gent

What Tradeſmen are thoſe?

2 Gent

Why Taylors, Shoomakers, Hoſiers, Seamſtreſſes, Feather-men, Periwig-makers, Perfumers, Clothiers, Linnengers, Silk-men, Mercers, Milleners, Haberdaſhers, Cutlers, Spurriers, Sadlers, Coach-makers, Upholſterers, beſides Confectioners, Cooks, Bakers, Brewers, Butchers, Poulterers, and twenty more I cannot think of.

1 Gent

They will kill and deſtroy ſo many creatures for their Feaſts, that they will make a maſſacre.

2 Gent

A Famine I think:

1 Gent

But there will be great dancings at the Court they ſay: for there will be Masks, Plays, Balls, and ſuch braveries as never was.

2 Gent

Theſe publick Weddings, and ſuch publick Revellings, put the Gentry to more charges, than many times they are able to ſpare; which if it were not for Revelling, there would be no need of ſuch vain ann idle Expences.

1 Gent

I mean to be at ſome charges, as to make me a new Suit or two of Cloaths.

2 Gent

Faith I will ſpare my purſe, and ſtay at home.

Exeunt.
Mmmm Scene 322 Mmmm1v 322

Scene 25.

Enter the ſeveral Couples, Heroick and Ambition, Tranquillitous Peace and Pleaſure, Satyrical and Bon’ Eſprit, Vain-glorious and Superbe, Cenſure and Faction, Senſuality and Portrait, Buſie and Exceſs, Liberty and Wanton, Frisk and Mother Matron.

Vainglor

Where will you keep your Wedding-Feaſt?

Heroick

We will keep ours at the Court.

Cenſure

So will we.

Vain-glor

And ſo will we.

Buſie

And ſo will we.

Tranquill

If you pleaſe, Miſtris, we will keep ours in the Country.

Pleaſure

I approve of it.

Satyrical

If my Miſtris agree, we will keep ours at the Play-houſe, and feaſt and dance upon the Stage.

Bon’ Eſprit

I agree and approve of your Choice.

Cenſure

An Ordinary, or Tavern, is a more commodious place for the Society of the Wits: for I am ſure all the Wits will meet there.

Satyrical

But if an Ordinary, or Tavern, be more commodious, yet they are not ſo publick places as the Theaters of Players; ſo that Wits may be merrier and freer in a Tavern, but not ſo divulged as on a Stage in a PlayHouſe.

Heroick

The truth is, an Ordinary or Tavern is a more proper place for Monſieur Senſuality and his Miſtris to keep their Wedding-Feaſt, than for Monſieur Satyrical and his Mistris.

Senſuality

By your favour, the moſt proper place for us is the Court.

Buſie

I think that an Hoſpitable Gentlemans Houſe in the Country, is moſt proper for Monſieur Senſuality to keep his Wedding-Feast in.

Superbe

That is a more proper place for Liberty and Wanton.

Faction

Nay, by your favour, another Houſe (which ſhall be nameleſs, for fear of offending) is fitter for them.

Matron

My Honey ſweet Love, where ſhall we keep our WeddingFeaſt?

Frisk

For your ſake, my Sugar-ſweeting, we will keep it in Bedlam, and Monſieur Buſie and his Bride ſhall keep us company.

Matron

Thou art a very wag, my Love.

Tranquil

W’ are all agreed.

Senſuality

Pray Jove we ſpeed.

Exeunt.

Finis.