323 Mmmm2r 323

The Unnatural Tragedie.

The Actors Names,

Monſieur Pere.

Monſieur Frere, and his Friend.

Monſieur la Marry .

Monſieur Malateſte.

Monſieur Senſible .

Monſieur Fefy , Mounſieur Malateſtes Friend.

Two Gentlemen.

Madam ma Sœur .

Madam Bonit , the firſt Wife of Monſieur Malateſte.

Madam Malateſte , the ſecond Wife.

Madamoiſelle Amor , daughter to Monſieur Senſible.

The Sociable Virgins.

Two Matrons .

Nan and Jone, two Maid-ſervants of Madam Bonit .

Servants and others.

Mmmm2 The 324 Mmmm2v 324

Prologue

A Tragedy I uſher in to day,

All Mirth is baniſh’d in this Serious Play;

Yet ſad Contentment may She to you bring,

In pleas’d Expreſsions of each ſev’ral thing.

Our Poetreſs is confident, no Fears,

Though ’gainſt her Sex the Tragick Buskins wears,

But you will like it, ſome few howers ſpent,

She’l know your Cenſure by your hands what’s meant.

This Prologue was written by my Lord Marquiſs of Newcaſtle .

The 325 Nnnn1r 325

The Unnatural Tragedy

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter Monſieur Frere, and his Friend.

Monſieur Frere

Since we are come out of our own Country to travel, we will go into Turky, if you will, and ſee that Country.

Friend

With all my heart; but now I think on’t better, I will ſtay here a while longer for the Curtezans ſake: for we ſhall never get ſuch ſtore, nor ſuch choiſe of Miſtriſſes; therefore, though the ſober and chaſte women are kept up here in Italy, yet the wild and wanton are let looſe to take their liberty: But in Turky, that barbarous Country, all are kept cloſe, thoſe that will, as well as thoſe that will not; but if they had the cuſtome of Italy, to keep up only their honeſt women, it were a Charity: for otherwiſe a man loſes his time in Courting thoſe women that will not accept of his love: for how ſhould a man know whether women will, or will not, having all ſober faces, and demure countenances, coy carriages, and denying words?

Frere

But yet they conſent at laſt: for Importunity and Opportunity, ’tis ſaid, wins the chaſteſt ſhe.

Friend

Faith all the flowry Rhetorick, and the moſt obſerving times, and fitteſt opportunities, and counterfeiting dyings, win nothing upon a cold Icy Conſtitution, or an obſtinate Morality; ’tis true, it may work ſome good effect upon an Icy Conſcience.

Enter a man to Monſieur Frere with a Letter.

Frere

From whence comes that Letter?

Man

From France Sir I believe, from your Father.

Exit man. He opens it, and reads it to himſelf.

Friend

What News? Hath thy Father ſent thee money?

Frere

Yes, but it is to return home: for he hath ſent me word my Siſter is marry’d to a very rich, honeſt, and ſweet-natur’d man; and that alſo he would have me come home to marry a rich Heir, one that is his Neighbors Daughter: for my Father ſays he deſires to ſee me ſetled in the World before he dies, having but us two, my Siſter and I.

Nnnn Friend 326 Nnnn1v 326

Friend

Why, is he ſick, that he talks of dying?

Frere

No, but he is old, and that is more certain of Deaths approach.

Friend

But is your ſiſter marry’d, ſay you?

Frere

Yes.

Friend

Faith I am ſorry for’t: for I thought to have marry’d her my ſelf.

Frere

Marry ſhe would have had but a wilde Husband, if ſhe had marry’d you.

Friend

The thoughts of this rich Heir, make thee ſpeak moſt preciſely as if thou wert the moſt temperate man in the world, when there is none ſo deboiſt as thou art.

Frere

Prethee hold thy tongue, for I am very diſcreet.

Friend

Yes, to hide thy faults, to diſſemble thy paſſions, and to compaſs thy deſires; but not to abate any of them: Well, if thy ſiſter had not been marry’d, I would have praiſ’d thee, but now I will rail againſt thee: for loſers may have leave to talk.

Frere

Why, what hopes could you have had to marry her?

Friend

Why, I was thy Friend, and that was hope enough. But is thy ſiſter ſo handſome as Fame reports her?

Frere

I cannot tell; for I never ſaw her ſince I was a little boy, and ſhe a very child, I being kept ſtrictly at School, and from thence to the University: And when I was to travel, I went home, but then ſhe was at an Ants houſe a hundred miles from my Fathers houſe, ſo as I ſaw her not; but I muſt leave off this diſcourse, unleſs you’l return into France with me.

Friend

No faith, thou ſhalt return without me: for I will not goe ſo ſoon, unleſs my Friends had provided me a rich Heireſs to welcom me home; but ſince they have not, I mean to ſtay and entertain my ſelf and time with the plump Venetians.

Frere

Fare thee well Friend, and take heed you entertain not a diſeaſe.

Friend

Thou ſpeakeſt as if thou wert a Convertito.

Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter Madam Bonit alone, and ſits down to work, as ſowing; as ſhe is working, Monsieur Malateſte, her Husband, enters.

Monsieur Malateſte

You are always at work, for what uſe is it? You ſpend more money in ſilk, cruel, thread, and the like, than all your work is worth.

Madam Bonit

I am now making you bands.

Malateſte

Pray let my bands alone: for I’m ſure they will be ſo ill- favour’d as I cannot wear them.

Bonit

Do not condemn them before you have try’d them.

Malateſte

You may make them; but I wi’l never wear them.

Bonit

Well, I will not make them, ſince you diſlike it.

Exeunt. Scene 327 Nnnn2r 327

Scene 3.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1Gent

Come, will you go to the Gaming-houſe?

2Gent

What to do?

1Gent

To play at Cards, or the like Games.

2Gent

I will never play at ſuch Games but with women.

1Gent

Why ſo?

2Gent

Becauſe they are Effeminate Paſtimes; and not manly Actions; neither will I meerly rely upon Fortunes favour without merit, as Gameſters do.

1Gent

Why then will you go to a Tavern?

2Gent

For what?

1Gent

To drink.

2Gent

I am not thirſty.

1Gent

But I would have you drink until you are thirſty.

2Gent

That’s to drink drunk.

1Gent

And that’s twhat I deſire to be.

2Gent

What?

1Gent

Why drunk.

2Gent

So do not I: for I will not wilfully make my ſelf uncapable, as I can neither be able to ſerve my King, Country, nor Friend, nor defend my Honour: for when I am drunk, I can do neither; for a man drunk, is weaker than a child that hath not ſtrength to go or ſtand; and is worſe than thoſe that are dumb, for the dumb keep ſilence, when thoſe that are drunk, doe ſtutter and ſtammer but non-ſenſe, and make themſelves fools; beſides, every Coward will take courage to beat, at leaſt affront a man that is drunk, when as he dares not look aſcue, or come near him without reſpect, when he is ſober.

1Gent

Come, come, thou ſhalt go; if it be but to decide our drunken quarrels, and allay the wrathful vapour of Bacchus.

2Gent

No, I will never decide the diſputes of Fool, Mad-men, Drunkards, nor Women: for Fools underſtand no Reaſon, Mad-men have loſt their Reaſon, Drunkards will hear no Reaſon, and Women are not capable of Reaſon.

1Gent

Why are women not capable of Reaſon?

2Gent

Becauſe it is thought, or rather believ’d, that women have no rational ſouls, being created out of man, and not from Jove, as man was.

1Gent

If Jove hath not given them rational ſouls, I am ſure Nature hath given them beautiful bodies, with which Jove is enamour’d, or elſe the Poets lye.

2Gent

Poets deſcribe Jove according to their own paſſions, and after their own appetites.

1Gent

Poets are Joves Prieſts.

2Gent

And Natures Panders.

1Gent

Well, if you will neither go to the Gaming-houſe, Tavern, nor Bawdy-houſe, will you go and viſit the ſociable Virgins.

2Gent

Yes, I like ſociable Virginity very well. But pray what are thoſe Nnnn2 ſocia- 328 Nnnn2v 328 ſociable Virgins, which you would have me go to ſee?

1Gent

Why a company of young Ladies that meet every day to diſcourſe and talk, to examine, cenſure, and judge of every body, and of every thing.

2Gent

’Tis pity, if they have not learn’d the rules of Logick, if they talk ſo much, that they may talk ſenſe.

1Gent

I will aſſure you they have voluble Tongues, and quick Wits.

2Gent

Let us go then.

Exeunt.

Scene 4.

Enter Monsieur Malateſte, to his Wife Madam Bonit.

Malateſte

Lord, how ill-favour’d you are dreſt to day!

Bonit

Why I am cleanly.

Malateſte

You had need be ſo: for if you were ill-favour’dly dreſt and ſluttiſh too, it were not to be endur’d.

Bonit

Well Husband, I will ſtrive to be more faſhionably dreſt.

Exeunt.

Scene 5.

Enter Monsieur Pere, and Monsieur Frere, as newly come from Travelling.

Monsieur Pere

Well Son, but that you are as a ſtranger, having not ſeen you in a long time, I would otherwiſe have chid you for ſpending ſo much ſince you went to travel.

Frere

Sir, travelling is chargeable, eſpecially when a man goeth to inform himſelf of the Faſhions, Maners, Cuſtoms, and Countries he travelleth through.

Enter Madam la Sœur, and Monſieur Marry, her Husband, where they ſalute and welcome their Brother home.

Pere

Look you Son, I have increas’d my Family ſince you went from home, your Siſters Beauty hath got me another Son.

Sœur

And I make no queſtion but my Brothers noble and gallant Actions will get you another Daughter.

Pere

Well Son, I muſt have you make haſte and marry, that you may give me ſome Grand-children to uphold my Poſterity, for I have but you two; and your ſiſter, I hope, will bring me a Grand-ſon ſoon: for her Maids ſay ſhe is ſick a mornings, which is a good ſign ſhe is breeding, although ſhe will not confeſs it: for young marry’d Wives are aſham’d to confeſs when they are with Child, they keep it as private, as if their Child were unlawfully begotten.

Monſieur 329 Oooo1r 329 Monsieur Frere all the while looks upon his Siſter very ſtedfaſtly.

Marry

Me thinks my Brother doth ſomething reſemble my Wife.

Frere

No ſure, Brother, ſo rude a made face as mine, can never reſemble ſo well a ſhap’d face as my ſiſters.

Marry

I believe the Venetian Ladies had a better opinion of your face and perſon than you deliver of your ſelf.

Sœur

My Brother cannot chooſe but be weary, comming ſo long a Journey to day: wherefore it were fit we ſhould leave him to pull off his boots.

Pere

Son, now I think of’t, I doubt you are grown ſo tender ſince you went into Italy, as you can hardly endure your boots to be roughly pull’d off.

Frere

I am very ſound Sir, and in very good health.

Pere

Art thou ſo? Come thy ways then.

Exeunt.

Scene 6.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and Madam Bonit his Wife.

Malateſte

Wife, I have ſome occaſion to ſell ſome Land, and I have none that is ſo convenient to ſell as your Joynture.

Bonit

All my Friends will condemn me for a fool, if I ſhould part with my Joynture.

Malateſte

Why then you will not part with it?

Bonit

I do not ſay ſo: for I think you ſo honeſt a man, that if you ſhould die before me, as Heaven forbid you ſhould.

Malateſte

Nay leave your prayers.

Bonit

Well Husband; you ſhall have my Joynture.

Malateſte

If I ſhall, go fetch it.

She goes out, and comes back and brings the Writing, and gives it him, and then he makes haſte to be gone.

Bonit

Surely Husband, I deſerve a kiſs for’t.

Malateſte

I cannot ſtay to kiſs.

Enter Madam Bonits Maid Joan.

Joan

Madam, what will you have for your ſupper: for I hear my Maſter doth not ſup at home.

Bonit

Any thing Jone, a little Ponado, or Water-gruel.

Joan

Your Ladyſhips Diet is not coſtly.

It ſatisfies Nature as well as coſtly Olio’s or Bisks; and I deſire onely to feed my Hunger, not my Guſto: for I am neither gluttonous nor lickeriſh.

Joan

No, I’ll be ſworn are you not.

Exeunt.
Oooo Scene 330 Oooo1v 330

Scene 7.

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and two Grave Matrons.

1Matron

Come Ladies, what diſcourſe ſhall we have to day?

1Virgin

Let us ſit and rail againſt men.

2Matron

I know young Ladies love men too well to rail againſt them; beſides, men always praiſe the Effeminate Sex, and will you rail at thoſe that praiſe you?

2Virgin

Though men praiſe us before our faces, they rail at us behind our backs.

2Matron

That’s when you are unkind, or cruel.

3Virgin

No, ’tis when we have been too kind, and they have taken a ſurfet of our company.

1Matron

Indeed an over-plus of Kindneſs, will ſoon ſurfet a mans Affection.

4Virgin

Wherefore I hate them, and reſolve to live a ſingle life; and ſo much I hate men, that if the power of Alexander and Cæsar were joyn’d into one Army, and the courage of Achilles and Hector were joyn’d into one Heart, and the wiſedom of Solomon and Ulyſſes into one Brain, and the Eloquence of Tully and Demoſthenes into one Tongue, and this all in one man, and had this man the Beauty of Narciſſus, and the youth of Adonis, and would marry me, I would not marry him.

2Matron

Lady, let me tell you, the Youth and Beauty would tempt you much.

4Virgin

You are deceiv’d: for if I would marry, I would ſooner marry one that were in years: for it were better to chuſe grave Age, than fantaſtical Youth; but howſoever, I will never marry: for thoſe that are unmaried, appear like birds, full of life and ſpirit; but thoſe that are maried, appear like beaſts, dull and heavy, eſpecially maried men.

1Matron

Men never appear like beaſts, but when women make them ſo.

1Virgin

They deſerve to be made beaſts, when they ſtrive to make women fools.

2Virgin

Nay, they rather think us fools, than make us ſo: for moſt Husbands think, when their Wives are good and obedient, that they are ſimple.

1Virgin

When I am maried, I’ll never give my Husband cauſe to think me ſimple for my obedience: for I will be croſe enough.

3Virgin

That’s the beſt way: for Husbands think a croſs and contradicting Wife is witty; a bold and commanding Wife, of a heroick ſpirit; a ſubtil and crafty Wife to be wiſe, a prodigal Wife to be generous, a falſe Wife to be beautiful: And for thoſe good qualities he loves her beſt, otherwiſe he hates her; nay, the falſer ſhe is, the fonder he is of her.

4Virgin

Nay, by your favour, for the moſt part, Wives are ſo inſlav’d, as they dare not look upon any man but their Husbands.

1Matron

What better object can a woman have than her Husband?

1Virgin

By your leave, Matron, one object is tireſome to view often, when variety of objects are very pleaſing and delightful: for variety of objects clear the ſenſes, and refreſh the mind, when only one object dulls both ſenſe 331 Oooo2r 331 ſenſe and mind, that makes maried wives ſo ſad and melancholy, when they keep no other company but their Husbands; and in truth they have reaſon: for a Husband is a ſurfet to the Eyes, which cauſes a loathing diſlike unto the mind; and the truth is, that variety is the life and delight of Natures works, and Women being the only Daughters of Nature, and not the Sons of Jove, as men are feigned to be, are more pleaſed with variety, than men are.

1Matron

Which is no honour to the Effeminate Sex; but I perceive, Lady, you are a right begotten daughter of Nature, and will follow the ſteps of your Mother.

1Virgin

Yes, or elſe I ſhould be unnatural, which I will never be.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene 8.

Enter Monſieur Pere, and Monſieur Frere.

Monſieur Frere

Sir, I wonder, ſince my ſiſter is ſo handſome, that you did not marry her more to her advantage.

Pere

Why Son, I think I have marry’d her very well for your advantage: for her beauty was her only Portion, and ſhe is marry’d to a noble Gentleman who hath a very great Eſtate.

Frere

But Sir, her beauty doth deserve a King, nay an Emperour, a Caeſar of the World.

Pere

O Son, you are young, which makes you partial on your ſisters ſide.

Exeunt.

Scene 9.

Enter Madam Bonit, and her Maid Nan.

Bonit

It’s a ſtrange forgetfulneſs not to come near me in two hours, but let me ſit without a fire: if you were my Miſtris, I ſhould make a conſcience to be more diligent than you are, if I did take wages for my ſervice as you do.

Nan

If you do not like me, take another.

Bonit.

If you be weary of my ſervice, pray change; perchance you may get a better Miſtris, and I hope I ſhall get as careful a ſervant.

Exeunt. Oooo2
Scene 332 Oooo2v 332

Scene 10.

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and the Matrons.

1Virgin

I would have all women bred to manage Civil Affairs, and men to manage the Military, both by Sea and Land; alſo women to follow all Manufactures at home, and the men all Affairs that are abroad; likewiſe all Arts of Labour, the men to be imploy’d in, and for all Arts of Curioſity, the women.

2Virgin

Nay certainly, if women were imploy’d in the Affairs of State, the World would live more happily.

3Virgin

So they were imploy’d in thoſe things or buſineſs that were proper for their ſtrength and capacity.

1Matron

Let me tell you, Ladies, women have no more capacity than what is as thin as a Cobweb-laun, which every eye may ſee through, even thoſe that are weak and half blind.

4Virgin

Why we are not Fools, we are capable of Knowledge, we only want Experience and Education, to make us as wiſe as men.

Matron

But women are uncapable of publick Imployments.

1Virgin

Some, we will grant are, ſo are ſome men: for ſome are neither made by Heaven, Nature, nor Education, fit to be Stateſ-men.

2Virgin

And Education is the chief: for Lawyers and Divines can never be good Stateſ-men, they are too learned to be wiſe; they may be good Orators, but never ſubtil Counſellors; they are better Diſputers than Contrivers; they are fitter for Faction than Reformation; the one makes quarrels, or upholds quarrels, the other raiſes doubts: But good Stateſ-men are bred in Courts, Camps, and Cities, and not in Schools and Cloſets, at Bars and in Pulpits; and women are bred in Courts and Cities, they only want the Camp to give them the perfect State-breeding.

3Virgin

Certainly, if we had that breeding, and did govern, we ſhould govern the world better than it is.

4Virgin

Yes, for it cannot be govern’d worſe than it is: for the whole World is together by the Ears, all up in Wars and Blood, which ſhews there is a general defect in the Rulers and Governors thereof.

1Virgin

Indeed the State-Counſellers in this Age have more Formality than Policy, and Princes more plauſible words, than rewardable deeds; inſomuch as they are like Fidlers, that play Artificially and Skilfully, yet it is but a ſound which they make and give, and not real preſences.

2Virg

You ſay true; and as there is no Prince that hath had the like good fortune as Alexander and Cæsar, ſo none have had the like Generoſities as they had, which ſhews, as if Fortune (when ſhe dealt in good earneſt, and not in mockery) meaſur’d her gifts by the largeneſs of the Heart, and the liberality of the hand of thoſe ſhe gave to: And as for the death of thoſe two Worthies, ſhe had no hand in them, nor was ſhe any way guilty thereof: for the Gods diſtribute life and death without the help of Fortune.

Matron

’Tis ſtrange, Ladies, to hear how you talk without knowledge, neither is it fit for ſuch young Ladies as you are to talk of State-matters; leave this diſcourſe to the Autumnal of your Sex, or old Court-Ladies, who take upon them to know every thing, although they underſtand nothing. But your 333Pppp1r 333 your Diſcourſes ſhould be of Masks, Plays, and Balls, and ſuch like Recreations, fit for your Youth and Beauties.

Scene 11.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and Madam Bonit.

Malateſte

What’s the reaſon you turn away Nan?

Bonit

Why ſhe turns away me: for ſhe is more willing to be gone, than I to have her go.

Malateſte

It is a ſtrange humour in you, as never to be pleas’d: for you are always quarrelling with your ſervants.

Bonit

Truly I do not remember that ever I had a diſpute or quarrel with any ſervant ſince I was your Wife, before this with your Maid Nan; and to prove it, is, that I do not ſpeak many words in a whole day.

Malateſte

Thoſe you ſpeak, it ſeems, are ſharp.

Bonit

Let it be as you ſay: for I will not contradict you.

Malateſte

Well, then take notice I will not have Nan turn’d away.

Bonit

I am glad ſhe pleaſes you ſo well, and ſorry I can pleaſe you no better. Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter Monſieur Frere alone.

Frere

She is very handſom, extreme handſom, beyond all the women that ever Nature made. O that ſhe were not my ſiſter!

Enter Madam Sœur. He ſtarts.

Sœur

I doubt, Brother, I have ſurpriz’d you with my ſudden coming in, for you ſtart.

Frere

Your Beauty, Siſter, will not only ſurprize, but aſtoniſh any man that looks thereon.

Sœur

You have us’d your ſelf ſo much to diſſembling Courtſhips ſince you went into Italy, as you cannot forbear uſing them to your ſiſter: But pray leave off that unneceſſary civility to me, and let us talk familiarly, as brothers and ſiſters uſe to do.

Frere

With all my heart, as familiarly as you pleaſe.

Sœur

Pray Brother tell me, if the women in Italy be handſom, and what Faſhions they have, and how they are behav’d.

Frere

To tell you in ſhort, they are ſo Artify’d, as a man cannot tell whether they are naturally handſom, or not: As for their Behaviour, they are very Modeſt, Grave, and Ceremonious, in publick and in private, confident, kind, and free, after an humble and inſinuating manner: they are bred to all Virtues, eſpecially to dance, ſing, and play on Muſical Inſtruments: they are Pppp natu- 334Pppp1v 334 naturally crafty, deceitful, falſe, covetous, luxurious, and amorous; they love their pleaſures better than Heaven: As for their faſhion of garments, they change as moſt Nations do, as one while in one, and then in another: As for their Houſes, they are furniſh’d richly, and themſelves adorned coſtly when they keep at home in their houſes: for they dreſs themſelves fineſt when they entertain ſtrangers or acqaintance; but this Relation is only of the Curtezans: As for thoſe that are kept honeſt, I can give little or no account: for they are ſo inclos’d with locks and bolts, and only look through a jealouſie, ſo as a ſtranger cannot obtain a ſight, much leſs an acquaintance.

Sœur

Then they have not that liberty we French women have.

Frere

O no.

Sœur

Why, do they fear they would all turn Curtezans if they ſhould be left to themſelves?

Frere

The men are jealous, and will not put it to the trial: for though they are all Merchants, even the Princes themſelves, yet they will not venture their wives.

Sœur

I would not live there for all the World, for to be ſo reſtrain’d: for it is ſaid, that Italian men are ſo jealous of their wives, as they are jealous of their Brothers, Fathers, and Sons.

Frere

They are ſo: for they are wiſe, and know Nature made all in common, and to a general uſe: for particular Laws were made by Men, not by Nature.

Sœur

They were made by the Gods, Brother.

Frere

What Gods Siſter, old men with long beards?

Sœur

Fie, fie, Brother, you are grown ſo wild in Italy, as France, I doubt, will hardly reclaim you; but I hope when you are marry’d, you will be reform’d, and grow ſober.

Frere

Why Siſter, are you become more ſober or reform’d ſince you are marry’d?

Sœur

No Brother, I never was wild nor wanton, but aIlways modeſt and honeſt.

Frere

Faith Siſter, me thinks you might have been marry’d more to your advantage than you are, had not my Father been ſo haſty, in marrying you ſo young.

Sœur

Why do you ſay ſo Brother, when the man I’m marry’d to is ſo worthy a perſon as I do not merit him? neither would I change him for all the World.

Frere

Nay Siſter, be not angry: for ’tis my extreme love, having no more ſiſters but you, that makes me ſpeak.

Sœur

Prethee Brother do not think I am angry: for I believe it proceeds from love, and that it is your affection that makes you ſo ambitious for me.

Frere

Know Siſter, I love you ſo well, and ſo much, as ’tis a torment to be out of your company.

Sœur

Thank you Brother, and know I deſire never to be in any other Company than my Husband, Father, and Brother, nay any other company is troubleſome.

Exeunt.
Scene 335 Pppp2r 335

Scene 13.

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and Matron.

Matron

Ladies, how are your wits to day?

1Virgin

Faith my brain is like Salisbury Plain to day, where my thoughts run Races, having nothing to hinder their way, and my brain, like Salisbury-plain, is ſo hard, as my thoughts, like the horſes heels, leave no print behind, ſo as I have no wit to day: for Wit is the print and mark of thoughts.

2Virgin

And I am ſick to day, and ſickneſs breaks the ſtrings of Wit; and when the ſtrings are broke, no harmony can be made.

3Virgin

It is with Wits as it is with Beauties, they have their good days, as to ſpeak quick, and to look well, to look cloudy, and to ſpeak dully; and though my tongue to day is apt to run like an Alarm-clock, without any intermiſſion, yet my mind being out of order, my tongue will go out of time, as either too faſt or too ſlow, ſo as none can tell the true time of ſenſe.

4Virgin

For my part, I am ſo dull to day, as my Wit is buried in ſtupidity, and I would not willingly ſpeak, unleſs my ſpeech could work upon every paſſion in the heart, and every thought in the head.

1Virgin

For my part, if any can take delight in my unfolded tongue and unpoliſh’d words my diſcourſe is at their ſervice.

Matron

Me thinks, Ladies, your Wits run nimbly, fly high, and ſpread far; wherefore make a witty match, or a match of Eloquence.

1Virgin

With all my heart: for in the Combat of Eloquence I ſhall do like to a valinant man in a battel; for though he wins not the Victory, yet he proves not a Coward; ſo though I ſhould not get the victory of Wit or Eloquence, yet I ſhall not prove my ſelf a fool.

2Virgin

I will make no ſuch match: for though I have read ſome few books, yet I have not ſtudied Logick nor Rhetorick, to place and ſet words in order; and though I have read Hiſtory, and ſuch like books, yet I have not got their Speeches by heart, nor parts of them, as the parts of one Oration, and a part of another Oration, and of three or four to make up an Oration of my own, as all Orators do now adays; neither have I ſtudied the Morals, or the Fathers, ſo much as to have their ſayings and ſentences to ſtuff my Diſcourse as Preachers do, and to ſpeak a natural way, although extraordinary witty, as to have their Orations as full of wit as of words, yet it would be condemn’d if the Speaker is not learned, or that their Speeches expreſs not learning.

3Virgin

Now you talk of Speeches and Orations, it ſeems very ſtrange to me to read the Speeches that Chronologers write down to be truly related, as from the mouths of thoſe that ſpoke them, eſpecialy thoſe that are ſpoken ex tempore, and on a ſudden; but more eſpecially those that are ſpoken in Mutinies, and to a tumultuous multitude, wherein is nothing but diſtraction, both in the Speakers and Hearers, frights and fears in Oppoſers and Aſſaulters: As for Example; when Tacitus ſet down the Speeches of ſome perſons at ſuch times, when and where, every one is in ſuch fears and diſorders, as there ſeem’d to be not any one perſon that could have the leiſure, time, reſt, or ſilence, to get thoſe Speeches by heart, to bear them away in Pppp2 their 336Pppp2v 336 their memory, or had they Place, Time, Ink, Pen, or Paper, to write them down.

4Virgin

But the Speeches that Thucidides ſets down, may be better credited, becauſe moſt of them were premeditated, and ſoberly, orderly, and quietly deliver’d, which might more eaſily be noted, and exactly taken to deliver to poſterity.

3Virgin

Another thing is, how Tacitus could come to know the particulars and private ſpeeches betwixt man and man, as Friend and Friend, Brother and Brother; and not only the Speeches of the Roman Nations, of which he might be beſt informed, but the Speeches of perſons of other Nations, whoſe Language was not eaſily underſtood, or frequent amongſt the Romans; nay not only ſo, but he hath writ the thoughts of ſome Commanders and others.

Matron

Lady, you muſt not be ſo ſtrict in Hiſtory, as to have every word true: for it is a good Hiſtory, if the ſenſe, matter, maner, form, and actions be true: As for Example; Say a man ſhould be preſented all naked, is he leſs a man for being naked? or is he more a man for being cloathed, or for being cloathed after another Faſhion than his own? So a Hiſtory is not the leſs true, if the Actions, Occaſions, Forms, and the like be related, although every word be not expreſs’d as they were; ſo that Tacitus’s Speeches may be true, as to the ſenſe, although he ſhould expreſs them after his manner, fancy, wit, or judgment. Thus the body or ſubject of thoſe Speeches might be true, only the dreſs is new.

3Virgin

But by your leave, let me tell you, that Chronologers do not only new dreſs truth, but falſifie her, as may be ſeen in our later Chronologers, ſuch Writers as Camden, and the like: for they have written not only partially, but falſly: As for particular Families ſome Camden hath miſtaken, and ſome of Antient Deſcent he hath not mention’d, and ſome he hath falſly mention’d, to their prejudice, and ſome ſo ſlightly, as with an undervaluing, as if they were not worth the mention, which is far worſe than if he ſhould rail or diſclame againſt them: But I ſuppose he hath done as I have heard a Tale of one of his like Profeſſion, which was a Schoolmaſter, as Camden was, which went to whip one of his Scholars, and the boy to ſave himſelf, promiſed his Maſter, that if he would give him his pardon, that his Mother ſhould give him a fat pig; whereupon the fury of the Pedant was not only pacify’d, but the boy was ſtrok’d, and made much of; ſo it is to be obſerv’d, that moſt Schoolmaſters commend thoſe of their ſcholars moſt, as to be the moſt apt and ingenious to their learning, although meer dunces, whoſe Parents and Friends ſee or bribe them moſt, which cauſes them both to flatter their ſcholars and their parents: So Camden, to follow the practice of his Profeſſion, hath ſweeten’d his pen as towards his ſcholars and their families; and ’tis likely moſt towards thoſe ſcholars that were more beneficial to him; but to ſuch perſons whoſe parents had Tutors for them at home, not ſuffering them to go to common Schools, he hath paſs’d over, or lightly mention’d their Families, or hath dip’d his pen in vinegar and gall.

1Virgin

Nay faith ist is likelyer that he might take ſome pett at thoſe that did not entertain him at their Houſes when he went his Progreſs about the Kingdome to inform him of the ſeveral parts of the Country, before he writ of the ſame.

2Virgin

I obſerv’d one Errour in his Writing, that is, when he mentions ſuch Places and Houſes, he ſays, the antient ſituation of ſuch a worthy Family,mily, 337Qqqq1r 337 mily, when to my knowledge, many of thoſe Families he mentions, bought thoſe Houſes and Lands, ſome one Deſcent, ſome two Deſcents, ſome three before, which Families came out of other parts of the Kingdom, or the City, and not to the Antient and Inheritary Families; but he leaves theſe Antient Families unmention’d.

4Virgin

Perchance he thought it fit, that thoſe Families that were ſo ill Husbands, or had ſo ill fortunes, as they were forc’d to ſell their Antient Inheritance, their memories ſhould be buried in their ruines.

1Virgin

What ſay you of the Chronolger of the Gods and gallant Heroes, which was Homer?

3Virgin

I ſay he was a better Poet than an Hiſtorian.

2Virgin

Why Homers Works are only a Poetical Hiſtory, which is a Romance: for Romance Writers heighten natural actions beyond natural power, as to deſcribe by their wit impoſſible things, yet to make them ſound or ſeem probable.

1Virgin

Nay faith, impoſſible can never be deſcribed to be probable.

4Virgin

I am ſure Homer was out, or elſe Noble Perſons were not ſo well bred in his time as they are now in our time; as when he makes them miſcall one another, giving one another ill names when they met to fight, as dog, and the like names; when in theſe our days; when Noble perſons meet to fight, they bring Complements in their mouths, and Death in their hands, ſo as they ſtrive as much in Civility as Courage; indeed true Valour is Courage.

1Virgin

If you condemn Homer for makinng men to ſpeak ſo, you may condemn him much more for making the Gods to ſpeak after that manner: for he hath made the Gods to ſpeak ſo, as to call one another dogs, and the like names.

2Virgin

The truth is, Homer, as excellent a Poet as he is fam’d to be, yet he hath not fitted his terms of Language proper to thoſe he makes to ſpeak, or the behaviour of thoſe perſons he preſents, proper to their Dignities nor Qualities: for, as you ſay, he makes the Gods in their contentions and fights not only to ſpeak like mortals, but like rude-bred, ill-natur’d Clowns, and to behave themſelves like rude, barbarous, brutiſh and cruel men, when he ſhould have made the Gods to have ſpoken the moſt Eloquenteſt of Humane Language, and after the moſt Elegant manner, by reaſon Eloquence hath a Divine Attraction, and Elegance a Divine Grace.

3Virgin

For my part, I can never read Homer upon a full ſtomack: for if I do, I am ſick to hear him deſcribe their broyl’d, roaſt, and boyl’d meats.

1Virgin

For my part, I can read him at no time: for my ſtomack is always ſo weak, or at leaſt nice, as the diſcourſe of the large Thighs or Chines of Beef and Mutton, with their larded fat, ſuffocates my ſpirits, and makes me ready to ſwoun: for the diſcourſe makes me imagine I ſmell the ſtrong ſavour of the groſs meats, and the drunken ſavour of wine.

Matron

They had meat fit for ſouldiers, and not Ladies.

1Virgin

I hope their Concubines, that lay in their Tents, had finer meats, or elſe they would appear foul purſy ſluts.

4Virgin

Why, if they were, they would be handſom enough to ſerve thoſe ſlovenly Heroes.

Matron

Why do you call thoſe great and brave Heroes ſlovens?

4Virgin

Becauſe they kill’d and dreſt their own meat, and there are no Qqqq ſuch 338Qqqq1v 338 ſuch greaſie fellows as Butchers and Cooks, and therefore muſt needs ſtink moſt horribly.

2Virgin

It was a ſign they had excellent ſtomacks in Homers days.

3Virgin

It was a ſign Homer had a good hungry ſtomack himſelf, that he could talk ſo often and long of meat.

Matron

Let me tell you, Ladies, it was a ſign thoſe perſons in thoſe times were Hoſpitable and Noble Entertainers; but in theſe times the Nobler ſort are too curious and delicate.

1Virgin

I have obſerv’d that one pen may blur a Reputation; but one pen will hardly glorifie a Reputation.

2Virgin

No; for to glorifie, requires many pens and witneſſes, and all little enough.

4Virgin

It is neither here nor there for that: for merit will get truth to ſpeak for her in Fames Palace; and thoſe that have none, can never get in, or at leaſt to remain there: For have not ſome Writers ſpoke well of Nero, and ſtriv’d to have glorify’d him, who was the wickedſt of all the Emperours? And have not ſome Writers done the like for Claudius, who was the fooliſheſt of all the Emperours? yet they were never the more eſteem’d in the Houſe of Fame. And have not ſome Writers writ ill, and have indeavour’d to blot and blur the Renowns of Julius Cæsar, and Augustus Cæsar, and of Alexander, and yet they are never the worſe eſteem’d in the Houſe of Fame; but Heroick Actions, and wiſe Governors, force pens, although pens cannot force ſwords.

2Virgin

By your favour, but pens and prints force ſwords ſometimes, nay for the moſt part: for do not books of Controverſies, or ingraving, or printed Laws, make Enemies, and ſuch Enemies, as to purſue with fire and ſword to death?

3Virgin

Well, for my part I do not believe it was the glory of Victory, and conquering the moſt part of the World, which made Alexander and Cæsar to be ſo much reverenc’d, admir’d, and renown’d by thoſe following Ages; but that their Heroick Actions were ſeconded with their generous deeds, diſtributing their good fortune to the moſt deſerving and meritorious perſons in their Parties.

1Virgin

You ſay true; and as there have been none ſo Heroical ſince their deaths, ſo there have been none ſo Generous.

Matron

Ladies, by your leave you are unlearned, otherwiſe you would find that there have been Princes ſince their times, as Heroical and Generous as they were.

2Virgin

No, no, there have been none that had ſo noble ſouls as they had: for Princes ſince their days have been rul’d, check’d and aw’d by their petty Favourites; witneſs many of the Roman Emperors, and others, when they rul’d and check’d all the World.

4Virgin

Indeed Princes are not ſo ſevere, nor do they carry that State and Majeſty as thoſe in former times: for they neglect that Ceremony now adays, which Ceremony creates Majeſty, and gives them a Divine Splendor; for the truth is, Ceremony makes them as Gods, when the want thereof makes them appear as ordinary men.

1Virgin

It muſt needs: for when Princes throw off Ceremony, they throw off Royalty; for Ceremony makes a King like a God.

2Virgin

Then if I were a King, or had a Royal Power, I would create ſuch Ceremonies, as I would be Deify’d, and ſo worſhip’d, ador’d, and pray’d to whilſt I live.

1Virgin. 339 Qqqq2r 339

1Virgin

So would I, rather than to be Sainted or pray’d to when I were dead.

4Virgin

Why, Ceremony will make you as a God, both alive and dead, when without Ceremony you will not be ſo much as Sainted.

1Virgin

I had as lieve be a Saint as a God: for I ſhall have as many prayers offer’d to me, as if I were made a God.

Matron

Come, come, Ladies, you talk like young Ladies, you know not what.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter Madam Bonit, and her Maid Joan.

Joan

Lord Madam, I wonder at your patience, that you can let Nan, not only be in the houſe, and let my Maſter lie with her, for ſhe is more in my Maſters chamber than in yours; but to let her triumph and domineer, to command all as chief Miſtris, not only the ſervants, but your ſelf, as you are come to be at her allowance.

Bonit

How ſhould I help it?

Joan

Why if it were to me, I would ring my Husband ſuch a peal, as I would make him weary of his wench, or his life.

Bonit

Yes, ſo I may diſquiet my ſelf, but not mend my Husband: for men that love variety, are not to be alter’d, neither with compliance or croſneſs.

Joan

’Tis true, if he would, or did love variety; but he onely loves Nan, a Wench which hath neither the Wit, Beauty, nor good Nature of your Ladyſhip.

Bonit

I thank you Joan for your commendations.

Joan

But many times a good-natur’d Wife will make an ill-natur’d Huſband.

Bonit

That’s when men are fools, and want the wit and judgment to value worth and merit, or not to underſtand it.

Joan

Why then my Maſter is one; but why will you be ſo good as to ſpoil your Husband? for in my conſcience, if you were worſe, he would be better.

Bonit

The reaſon is, that Self-love hath the firſt place, and therefore I will not diſhonour my ſelf, to mend or reform my Husband: for every one is only to give account to Heaven, and to the World, of their own actions, and not of any others actions, unleſs it be for a witneſs.

Joan

Then I percieve you will not turn away this Wench.

Bonit

It is not in my power.

Joan

Try whether it be or not.

Bonit

No, I will not venture at it, leſt I and my Maid ſhould be the publick diſcourſe of the Town.

Joan

Why, if ſhe ſhould have the better, yet the Town will pity you, and condemn my Maſter, and that will be ſome comfort.

Bonit

No truly: for I had rather be bury’d in ſilent miſery, and to be forgotten of mankind, than to live to be pity’d.

Qqqq2 Ioan. 340 Qqqq2v 340

Joan

Then I would, if I were you, make him a ſcorn to all the World, by cuckolding him.

Bonit

Heaven forbid that I ſhould ſtain that which gave me a Repution, my Birth, and Family, or defame my ſelf, or trouble my conſcience, by turning a whore for revenge.

Joan

Well, if you ſaw that which I did ſee, you would hate him ſo, as you would ſtudy a revenge.

Bonit

What was that?

Joan

Why, when you came into my Maſters Chamber to ſee him when he was ſick of the French Pox, I think you chanced to taſte of his broth that ſtood upon his Table; and when you were gone, he commanded Nan to fling that broth out which you had taſted, and to put in freſh into the porringer to drink.

Bonit

That’s nothing: for many cannot endure to have their pottage blown upon.

Joan

It was not ſo for him: for he, before he drank the freſh broth, Nan blew it, and blew it, and taſted it again and again, to try the heat, and another time to try if it were ſalt enough, and he ſeem’d to like it the better; beſides, he was never quiet whilſt you were in the Chamber, until you went out; he ſnap’d you up at every word; and if you did but touch any thing that was in the Chamber, he bid you let it alone, and at laſt he bid you go to your own Chamber, and ſeem’d well pleas’d when you were gone.

Bonit

Alas, thoſe that are ſick, are always froward and peeviſh; but prethee Joan have more Charity to judge for the beſt, and have leſs paſſion for me.

Exeunt.

Act III.

Scene 15

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and Matron.

Matron

Come Ladies, what will you diſcourſe of too day?

1Virgin

Of Nature.

Matron

No, that is too vaſt a Subject to be diſcours’d of: for the Theme being infinite, your diſcourse will have no end.

2Virgin

You are miſtaken: for Nature lives in a quiet Mind, feeds in a generous Heart, dreſſes in a Poetical Head, and ſleeps in a dull Underſtanding.

3Virgin

Natures Flowers are Poets Fancies, and Natures Gardens are Poetical Heads.

Matron

Pray leave her in her Garden, and talk of ſomething elſe.

4Virgin

Then let us talk of Thoughts: for thoughts are the children of the Mind, begot betwixt the Soul and Senſes.

1Virgin

And Thoughts are ſeveral Companions, and like Courtly Ser- 341Rrrr1r 341 Servitors, do lead and uſher the Mind into ſeveral places.

2Virgin

Pray ſtay the Diſcourſe of Thoughts, for it’s a dull Diſcourſe.

4Virgin

Then let us talk of Reaſon.

3Virgin

Why ſhould we talk of Reaſon, when there are ſo many ſeeming reaſons, as the right cannot be known?

1Virgin

Seeming reaſons are like ſeducing flatterers, perſwade ’tis truth, when all is falſe they ſay.

2Virgin

Let us talk of Juſtice.

4Virgin

Juſtice, to the Generality, hath a broad full face; but to particulars, ſhe hath but a quarter and a half-quarter face; and to ſome particulars, ſhe veils it all over: Wherefore to talk of Juſtice, is to talk blindfold.

2Virgin

Let us talk of Baſhfulneſs.

3Virgin

What, ſhould we talk of our own diſgrace?

Matron

A Grace you mean, Lady.

3Virgin

No ſurely, a diſtemper’d Countenance, and a diſtorted Face, can be no grace.

1Virgin

Let us talk of the Paſſions.

2Virgin

It is eaſier to talk of them, than to conquer and govern them, although it is eaſier to conquer the perturbed paſſions of the Mind, than the unruly Appetites of the Body: for as the Body is groſſer than the Soul, ſo the Appetites are ſtronger than the Paſſions.

4Virgin

Let us talk of Gifts.

5Virgin

There are no Gifts worth the talking of, but Natural Gifts, as Beauty, Wit, good Nature, and the like.

4Virgin

Let us talk of Wit, that is a Natural Gift.

1Virgin

Nature gives true Wit to very few: for many that are accounted Wits, are but Wit-leeches, that ſuck and ſwell with wit of other men, and when they are over-gorg’d, they ſpue it out again; beſides, there are none but Natural Poets that have variety of Diſcourſes, all others talk according to their Profeſſions, Practice, and Studies, when Poets talk of all that Nature makes, or Art invents; and like as Bees that gather the ſweets of every flower, bring honey to the Hive, which are the Ears of the Hearers, wherein Wit doth ſwarm: But ſince we are not by Nature ſo indu’d, Wit is a ſubject not fit to be purſued by us.

5Virgin

Let us talk of Beauty.

3Virgin

Thoſe that have it, take greater pleaſure in the Fame, than in the Poſſeſsion: for they care not ſo much to talk of it, as to hear the praiſes of it.

Matron

Come Ladies, let us go: for I perceive your Wits can ſettle upon no one ſubject this day.

Exeunt.
Rrrr Scene 342 Rrrr1v 342

Scene 16.

Enter Monſieur Frere alone, as being melancholy.

Frere

O how my Spirit moves with a diſorder’d haſte! my thoughts tumultuouſly together throng, ſtriving to pull down Reason from his throne, and baniſh Conſcience from the Soul,

walks as in a melancholy poſture. Enter Monſieur Pere.

Pere

What Son, Lover-like already, before you have ſeen your Miſtris? Well, her Father and I am agreed, there’s nothing wanting but the Prieſt and Ceremony, and all is done.

Frere

Sir, there are our Affections wanting; for we never ſaw one another: Wherefore it is not known whether we ſhall affect or not.

Pere

I hope you are not ſo diſobedient, to diſpute your Fathers will.

Frere

And I hope, Sir, you will not be ſo unkind, as to force me to marry one I cannot love.

Pere

Not love? why ſhe is the richeſt Heireſs in the Kingdom.

Frere

I am not covetous, Sir, I had rather pleaſe my Fancy, than increſe my Eſtate.

Pere

Your Fancy? Let me tell you, that your fancy is a fool; and if you do not obey my will, I will diſ-inherit you.

Frere

I fear not poverty.

Pere

Nor fear you not a Fathers curſe?

Frere

Yes Sir, that I do.

Pere

Why then be ſure you ſhall have it, if you refuſe her.

Frere

Pray give me ſome time to conſider of’t.

Pere

Pray do, and conſider wiſely, you had beſt.

Exeunt.

Scene 17.

Enter two Servants.

1Servant

I doubt my Lady will die.

2Servant

I fear ſo: for the Doctor, when he felt her pulſe, ſhook his head, which was an ill ſign.

1Servant

It is a high Feaver ſhe is in.

2Servant

The Doctor ſays a high continual Feaver.

1Servant

She’s a fine young Lady, ’tis pity ſhe ſhould die.

2Servant

My Maſter puts on a ſad face; but yet me thinks his ſadneſs doth not appear of a through-die.

Exeunt.
Scene 343 Rrrr2r 343

Scene 18.

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and two Grave Matrons.

Matron

Come Ladies, how will you paſs your time to day?

1Virgin

Pray let us ſit and Rhime, and thoſe that are out, ſhall loſe a Collation to the reſt of the Society.

All ſpeak

Agreed, agreed.

1Virgin

Love is both kind and cruel,

As fire unto fuel;

It doth imbrace and burn,

Gives Life, and proves Deaths Urn.

2Virgin

A lowring Sky and Sunny wrays,

Is like a commendation with diſpraiſe;

Or like to Cypreſs bound to Bays,

Or like to tears on Wedding days.

3Virgin

A flatt’ring Tongue, and a falſe Heart,

A kind Imbrace which makes me ſtart,

A Beauteous Form, a Soul that’s evil,

Is like an Angel, but a Devil.

4Virgin

A woman old to have an Amorous paſſion,

A Puritan in a fantaſtick Faſhion,

A formal Stateſ-man which dances and skips about,

And a bold fellow which is of countenance out.

5Virgin

A Scholars head with old dead Authors full;

For want of wit is made a very gull.

1Virgin

To laugh and cry, to mingle ſmiles and tears,

Is like to hopes and doubts, and joys and fears:

As ſev’ral paſſions mixes in one mind,

So ſev’ral poſtures in one face may find.

2Virgin

To love and hate both at one time,

And in one perſon both to joyn,

To love the man, but hate the crime,

Is like to ſugar put to brine.

Matron

Ladies, you had better tell ſome Tales to paſs your time with: for your Rhimes are not full of wit enough to be delightfully ſociable.

3Virgin

Agreed, let us tell ſome Tales.

4Virgin

Once upon a time Honour made Love to Vertue, a gallant and Heroick Lord he was, and ſhe a ſweet, modeſt, and beautiful Lady, and naked Truth was the Confident to them both, which carried and brought love meſſages and preſents from and to each other.

2Matron

Out upon beaſtly truth: for if ſhe goeth naked, I dare ſay ſhe is a wanton Wench; and Virtue, I dare ſwear, is little better than her ſelf, if ſhe keeps her company, or can behold her without winking; and I ſhall ſhrewdly ſuſpect you, Ladies, to be like her, if you diſcourse of her; but more, if you have any acquaintance with her: And ſince you are ſo wilde and wanton, as to talk of naked truth, I will leave you to your ſcurrilous diſcourſe: for I am aſham’d to be in your company, and to hear you ſpeak ſuch Ribauldry: O fie, O fie, naked Truth! Jove bleſs me, and keep me Rrrr2 from 344Rrrr2v 344 from naked Truth, as alſo from her ſly Companion Virtue, out upon them both.

She goes out, and the Sociable Virgins follow her, ſaying, Stay, or elſe Truth would meet her, and cloath her in a fools coat. Exeunt.

Scene 19.

Enter Madam Sœur, and Monſieur Frere.

Madam Sœur

Now you have ſeen your Miſtris, Brother, tell me how you like her.

Frere

It were a rudeneſs to your Sex, if I ſhould ſay I diſlike any Woman.

Sœur

Surely Brother you cannot diſlike her: for ſhe is handſom, well-behav’d, well-bred, a great Eſtate, and of a good Fame and Family.

Frere

And may ſhe have a Husband anſwerable.

Sœur

Why ſo ſhe will, when ſhe marries you.

Frere

I cannot equal her Virtues, nor merit her Beauty; wherefore I will not injure her with mariage.

Sœur

Will you not marry her?

Frere

No.

Sœur

I hope you ſpeak not in Earnest.

Frere

In truth Siſter I do no not jeſt.

Sœur

Prethee Brother do not tell my Father ſo: for if you do, he will be in ſuch a fury, as there will be no pacifying him.

Frere

If you deſire it, I will not.

Sœur

Firſt reaſon with your ſelf, and try if you can perſwade your Affections.

Frere

Affections, Siſter, can neither be perſwaded either from or to: for if they could, I would imploy all the Rhetorick I have to perſwade them. O ſiſter!

He goes out in a melancholy poſture. Enter Monſieur Pere.

Pere

Where is your Brother?

Sœur

He is even now gone from hence.

Pere

How chance he is not gone to his Miſtriſ?

Sœur

I know not Sir; but he looks as if he were not very well.

Pere

Not well? he’s a fooliſh young man, and one that hath had his liberty ſo much, as he hates to be ty’d in wedlocks Bonds; but I will go rattle him.

Sœur

Pray Sir perſwade him by degrees, and be not too violent at firſt with him.

Pere

By the Maſs Girl thou giveſt me good counſel, and I will temper him gently.

Exeunt. Scene 345 Ssss1r 345

Scene 20.

Enter two or three Maid-ſervants.

1Servant

O ſhe’s dead, ſhe’s dead, the ſweeteſt Lady in the World ſhe was.

2Servant

O ſhe was a ſweet-natur’d creature: for ſhe would never ſpeak to any of us all, although we were her own ſervants; but with the greateſt civility; as pray do ſuch a thing, or call ſuch a one, or give or fetch me ſuch or ſuch a thing, as all her ſervants lov’d her ſo well, as they would have laid down their lives for her ſake, unleſs it were her Maid Nan.

1Servant

Well, I ſay no more; but pray God Nan hath not given her a Spaniſh Fig!

3Servant

Why, if ſhe did, there is none of us knows ſo much, as we can come as Witneſſes againſt her.

Enter Nan.

Nan

It is a ſtrange negligence, that you ſtand prating here, and do not go to help to lay my Lady forth.

Exit Nan the Maid. Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and paſſes over the Stage, with his handkerchief before his eyes.

1Servant

My Maſter weeps, I did not think he had lov’d my Lady ſo well.

2Servant

Piſh, that’s nothing: for moſt love the dead better than the living; and many will hate a friend when they are living, and love them when they are dead.

Exeunt.

Scene 21.

Enter Monſieur Frere, and Madam Sœur comes after, and finds him weeping.

Sœur

Brother, why weep you?

Frere

O Siſter, Mortality ſpouts tears through my eyes, to quench Loves raging fire that’s in my Heart! But ’twill not do, the more I ſtrive, with greater fury doth it burn.

Sœur

Dear Brother, if you be in love, ſhe muſt be a cruel woman that will deny you: for pure and virtuous love ſoftens the hardeſt hearts, and melts them into pity.

Frere

Would I were turn’d to ſtone, and made a marble Tomb, wherein lies nothing but cold death, rather than live tormented thus.

Exit.
Sſſſ She 346 Ssss1v 346 She alone.

Sœur

Heaven keep my fears from proving true.

Exit.

Scene. 22

Enter Monſieur Senſible, and Madamoiſelle Amor his Daughter.

Monſieur Senſible

Daughter, how do you like Monſieur Frere?

Amor

Sir, I like whatſoever you approve of.

Senſible

But ſetting aſide your dutiful Anſwer to me, tell me how you affect him?

Amor

If I muſt confeſs, Sir, I never ſaw any man I could love but him.

Senſible

You have reaſon: for he is a fine Gentleman; and thoſe Mariages moſt commonly prove happy, when Children and Parents agree.

Amor

But Sir, he doth not appear to fancy me ſo much, or ſo well as I fancy him.

Senſible

It’s a ſign, Child, thou art in Love, that you begin to have doubts.

Amor

No Sir, but if I thought he could not love me, I would take off that Affection I have placed on him whilſt I can maſter it, leſt it ſhould grow ſo ſtrong as to become maſterleſs.

Senſible

Fear not Child.

Exeunt.

Scene 23.

Enter the Sociable Virgins, and Matrons.

1Matron

’Tis ſaid that Malateſte is a Widower.

1Virgin

Why then there is a Husband for me.

2Virgin

Why for you? he may chooſe any of us as ſoon as you, for any thing you know.

3Virgin

I’m ſure we are as fair.

4Virgin

And have as great Portions.

5Virgin

And are as well bred as you are.

1Virgin

Well, I know he is alloted to my ſhare.

2Matron

Pray do not fall out about him: for ſurely he will have none of you all, for ’tis ſaid he ſhall marry his Maid.

1Virgin

Why he is not ſo mad: for though his Maid ſerved to vex and grieve his wife into her grave, and alſo to paſs away idle hours with him, yet he will not marry her, I dare warrant you; for thoſe that are married, muſt take ſuch as they can get, having no liberty to chooſe, but when they are free from wedlocks bonds, they may have choice.

Enter 347 Ssss2r 347 Enter Monſieur Malateſte all in mourning.

1Virgin

So Sir, you are welcome, for you can reſolve a queſtion that is in diſpute amongſt us.

Malateſte

What is it Lady?

1Virgin

The queſtion is, whether you will marry your Maid or not.

Malateſte

No ſure, I cannot forget my ſelf, nor my dead wife ſo much, as to marry my Maid.

1Virgin

Faith that is ſome kindneſs in Husbands, that they will remember their wives when they are dead, although they forget them whilſt they live.

Malateſte

A good wife cannot be forgotten neither dead nor alive.

1Virgin

By your favour, Sir, a bad wife will remain longeſt in the memory of her Husband, becauſe ſhe vex’d him moſt.

Malateſte

In my Conſcience, Lady, you will make a good wife.

1Virgin

If you think ſo, you had beſt try.

Malateſte

Shall I be accepted Lady?

1Virgin

I know no reaſon I ſhould refuſe Sir; for Report ſays you have a great Eſtate, and I ſee you are a handſome man; and as for your nature and diſpoſition, let it be as bad as it can be, mine ſhall match it.

Malateſte

My Nature loves a free ſpirit.

1Virgin

And mine loves no reſtraint.

Malateſte

Lady, for this time I ſhall kiſs your hands; and if you will give me leave, I ſhall viſit you at your lodging.

1Virgin

You ſhall be welcome Sir.

Exit Monſieur Malateſte.

1Virgin

Ladies, did not I tell you I ſhould have him?

2Virgin

Jeſting and Raillery doth not always make up a Match.

1Virgin

Well, well, Ladies, God be with you, for I muſt go home and provide for my Wedding: for I perceive it will be done on the ſudden; for Widowers are more haſty to marry, than Batchelors, and Widows, than maids.

1Matron

Stay Lady, you muſt firſt get the good will of your Parents.

1Virgin

All Parents good will concerning Mariage, is got before hand, without ſpeaking; if the Suter be rich, and if he prove a good Husband, then Parents brag to their acquaintance, saying, How well they have match’d their Child! making their acquaintance believe it was their prudence and induſtry that made the match, when the young couple were agreed before their parents ever knew or gueſs’d at ſuch a match; but if they prove unhappy, then they complain to their acquaintance, and ſhake their heads, crying, it was their own doings, ſaying their children were wilfull, and would not be rul’d, although they forc’d them to marry by threatnings and curſings. O the unjuſt partiality of ſelf-love, even in parents, which will not allow right to their own own branches! But I forget my ſelf. Farewell, farewell.

All Virgins

Bid us to your Wedding, bid us to your Wedding.

Exeunt. Sſſſ2 Act 348 Ssss2v 348

Act IV.

Scene 24.

Enter Madam Sœur, and Monſieur Frere follows her.

Sœur

Why do you follow me, with ſighs fetch’d deep, and groans that ſeem to rend your heart in two?

Frere

Be not offended: Siſters ſhould not be ſo unnatural, as to be weary of a Brothers company, or angry at their grief; but rather ſtrive to eaſe the ſorrow of their hearts, than load on more with their unkindneſs.

Sœur

Heaven knows, Brother, that if my life could eaſe your grief, I willingly would yield it up to death.

Frere

O Gods, O Gods, you cruel Gods, commanding Nature to give us Appetites, then ſtarve us with your Laws, decree our ruine and our fall, create us only to be tormented!

Exit Monſieur Frere. Madam Sœur alone.

Sœur

I dare not ask his griefs, or ſearch his heart, for fear that I ſhould find that which I would not know.

Exit.

Scene 25.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte’s Steward, and Servants.

Steward

My Maſter and our new Lady are comming home; wherefore you muſt get the Houſe very clean and fine: You Wardropian, you muſt lay the beſt Carpets on the Table, and ſet out the beſt Chairs ; Stools, and in the Chamber wherein my Maſter and Lady muſt lie, you muſt ſet up the Croſs-ſtitch bed, and hang up the new ſuit of Hangings, wherein is the ſtory of Abraham and Sarah, and Hagar her Maid. And you Pantler, muſt have a care that the glaſſes be well waſh’d, and that the Baſin and Yewer, Voider and Plates be bright ſcowr’d, as alſo the ſilver Ciſtern, and the ſilver Flagons ſtanding therein, and to have a care that the Table-cloaths be ſmooth, and the Napkins finely knip’d annd perfum’d, and that the Limons, Orenges, Bread, Salt, Forks, Knives, and Glaſſes, be ſet and placed after the neweſt Mode.

Enter Nan.

Steward

O Miſtris Nan, you have prevented me: for I was going to ſeek you out, to let you know my Maſter and our new Lady will be here before night; wherefore you muſt ſee that the Linnen be fine, and the Sheets be well 349Tttt1r 349 well dry’d and warm’d, and that there be in my Ladies Chamber all things neceſſary.

Nan

Let her comand one of her own maids: for I am none of her ſervant.

Steward

Why, whoſe ſervant are you?

Nan

My Maſters, who hir’d me, and pays me my wages: I never ſaw her, nor ſhe me.

Steward

But all my Maſters ſervants are my Ladies: for Man and Wife divide not their ſervants, as to ſay, thoſe are mine, theſe are yours.

Nan

Why, I’m ſure in my other Ladies time, all the ſervants were my Maſters, and none my Ladies: for ſhe had not power to take or turn away any one.

Steward

The more was the pity; for ſhe was both virtuous and wiſe: Beſides, beautiful and well-bred, rich and honourably born, and of a ſweet diſpoſition. But ’tis ſaid this Lady hath ſuch a ſpirit, as ſhe will ſhare in the Rule and Government.

Nan

Yes, yes, for a little time, as long as Honey-moneth laſts: I dare warrant you ſhe ſhall reign nor rule no longer.

Exit Nan.

Steward

Come, my friends and fellow-ſervants, let’s every one about our ſeveral Affairs.

Exeunt.

Scene 2526.

Enter Madamoiſelle Sœur, as ſitting in her Chamber: Enters Monſieur Frere, and comes to her, and kneeling down, weeps.

Sœur

Dear Brother, why do you kneel and weep to me?

Frere

My tears, like as diſtreſs’d Petitioners, fall to the ground, and at your feet crave mercy: it is not life they ask, but love that they would have.

Sœur

Why ſo you have: for I do vow to Heaven I love you better than ambitious men love power, or thoſe that are vain-glorious love a Fame, better than the body loves health, or the life loves peace.

Frere

Yet ſtill you love me not as I would have you love.

Sœur

Why how would you have me love?

Frere

As Husbands love their Wives, or Wives their Husbands.

Sœur

Why ſo I do.

Frere

And will you lie with me?

Sœur

How! would you have me commit Inceſt?

Frere

Siſter, follow not thoſe fooliſh binding Laws which frozen men have made, but follow Natures Laws, whoſe Freedome gives a Liberty to all.

Sœur

Heaven bleſs your ſoul: for ſure you are poſſeſt with ſome ſtrange wicked ſpirit; that uſes not to wander amongſt men.

Frere

Siſter, be not deceiv’d with empty words, and vainer tales, made only at the firſt to keep the ignorant vulgar ſort in awe, whoſe Faith, like to their greedy Appetites, take whatſoever is offer’d, be it nere ſo bad or ill to their ſtomacks, they never conſider, but think all good they can get down; Tttt ſo 350Tttt1v 350 ſo whatſoever they hear, they think ’tis true, although they have no reaſon or poſſibility for it.

Sœur

But learned and knowing men, wiſe and judicious men, holy and good men, know this you ask is wicked.

Frere

They do not know it, but they believe as they are taught: for what is taught men in their Childhood, grows ſtrong in their Manhood; and as they grow in years, ſo grow they up in Superſtition. Thus wiſe men are deceiv’d and cozen’d by length of time, taking an old forgotten deed to be a true ſeal’d bond: wherefore, dear Siſter, your Principles are falſe, and therefore your Doctrine cannot be true.

Sœur

Heaven hath taught that Doctrine; wherefore we cannot erre.

Frere

Heaven conſiders us no more than beaſts, that freely live together.

Sœur

O that I ſhould live to know my only Brother turn from man to beaſt!

She goes out. Monſieur Frere alone.

Frere

I am glad the Ice is broke, and that her fury rages not like fire.

Exit.

Scene. 2627.

Enter Monſieur Senſible, and Madamoiſelle Amor .

Monſieur Senſible

Daughter, I do perceive that Monſieur Frere doth neglect you; beſides, he is a wilde debauch’d young man, and no ways likely to make a good Husband: wherefore I charge you on my bleſſing and the duty you owe me, to draw off thoſe affections you have placed upon him.

Amor

Good Sir do not impoſe that on my duty which I cannot obey: for I can ſooner draw the light from the Sun, or the World from its Center, or the fix’d Stars from their aſſigned places, than draw away love from him.

Senſible

Why, how if he will not have you?

Amor

I can only ſay I ſhall be unhappy.

Senſible

I hope you will be wiſer than to make your ſelf miſerable for one you cannot have to be your Husband.

Exeunt. Scene 351 Tttt2r 351

Scene 2728.

Enter many of Monſieur Malateſte’s Servants, waiting againſt their Maſter and Ladies comming home. Enter Monſieur Malateſte and his Lady.

Servants

Heaven give your Worſhip joy, and our noble Lady.

Madam Mal

What, is this your beſt Houſe?

Monſieur Mal

Yes, and is it not a good one Sweet?

Madam Mal

Fie upon it, I hate ſuch an old-faſhiond Houſe; wherefore pray pull it down, and build another more faſhionable, as that there may be a Bell-view and Pergalus round the outside of the Houſe, alſo Arched Gates, Pillars and Pilaſters, and carved Frontiſpeeces, with Antick Imagery, alſo I would have all the lower rooms vaulted, and the upper rooms flatroof’d, painted and gilded, and the Planchers checker’d and inlaid with ſilver, the Stair-caſe to be large and winding, the ſteps broad and low, as ſhallow; then to take in two or three Fields about your Houſe to make large Gardens, wherein you may plant Groves of Mirtle; as alſo to make Walks of green Turf, and thoſe to be hanging and ſhelving, as if they hung by Geometry; alſo Fountains and Water-works, and thoſe Water-works to imitate thoſe Birds in Winter, that only ſing in Summer.

Monſieur Mal

But this will coſt a great ſumm of money Wife.

Madam Mal

That’s true, Husband; but to what uſe is money, unleſs to ſpend?

Monſieur Mal

But it ought to be ſpent prudently.

Madam Mal

Prudently, ſay you? why Prudence and Temperance are the Executioners of Pleaſure, and Murtherers of Delight: wherefore I hate them, as alſo this covetous humour of yours.

Exeunt Monſieur Malateſte and his Wife.

1Servant

I marry Sir, here is a Lady indeed: for ſhe talks of pulling down this Houſe before ſhe hath throughly ſeen it, and of building up another.

2Servant

If you will have my opinion, the old ſervants muſt go down as well as the old houſe.

3Servant

I believe ſo: for ſhe look’d very ſcornfully upon us, nor ſpoke not one word either good or bad to us.

4Servant

Well, come let us go about our imployments, and pleaſe as long as we can, and when we can pleaſe no longer, we muſt ſeek other Services.

Exeunt. Tttt2 Scene 351 Tttt2v 352

Scene 2829.

Enter Monſieur Frere, and Madam Sœur.

Madam Sœur

Do not purſue ſuch horrid Acts, as to Whore your Siſter, Cuckold your Brother-in-Law, diſhonour your Father, and brand your life and memory with black infamy. Good Brother conſider what a world of miſery you ſtrive to bring upon your ſelf and me.

Frere

Dear Siſter pity me, and let a Brothers pleading move your heart, and bury not my youth in Death before the natural time.

Sœur

’Tis better you ſhould die, and in the grave be laid, than live to damn your ſoul.

Frere

To kill my ſelf will be as bad a crime.

Sœur

O no: for Death any way is more honourable than ſuch a life as you would live.

Exeunt.

Scene 2930.

Enter the two Gentleman.

1Gent

Friend, prethee tell me why you do not marry.

2Gent

Becauſe I can find no woman ſo exact as I would have a Wife to be: for firſt I would not have a very tall woman, for ſhe appears as if her ſoul and body were miſ-match’d, as to have a pigmy ſoul, and a gyantly body.

1Gent

Perchance her ſoul is anſwerable to her body.

2Gent

O no: for it is a queſtion whether women have ſouls or no; but for certain, if they have, they are of a dwarfiſh kind: Neither would I have a wife with a maſculine ſtrength; for it ſeems præpoſterous to the ſoftneſs and tenderneſs of their Sex: neither would I have lean wife; for ſhe will appear always to me like the picture of Death, had ſhe but a ſythe and hourglaſs in her hand: for though we are taught to have always Death in our Mind, to remember our End, yet I would not have Death always before my Eyes, to be afaid of my End: But to have a very lean wife, were to have Death in my Arms, as much as in my Eyes, and my Bed would be as my Grave.

1Gent

Your Bed would be a warm Grave.

2Gent

Why man, though Death is cold, the Grave is hot: for the Earth hath heat, though Death hath none.

1Gent

What ſay you to a fat woman?

2Gent

I ſay a fat woman is a bed-fellow only for the Winter, and not for the Summer; and I would have ſuch a woman for my Wife, as might be a nightly companion all the year.

1Gent

I hope you would not make your Wife ſuch a conſtant bed-fellow, as to lie always together in one bed.

2Gent

Why not?

1Gent. 353 Vvvv1r 353

1Gent

Becauſe a mans ſtomack or belly may ake, which will make wind work, and the rumbling wind may decreaſe love, and ſo your wife may diſlike you, and diſlike in time may make a Cuckold.

2Gent

By your favour it increaſes Matrimonial Love: ’tis true, it may decreaſe Amorous Love; and the more Amorous Love increaſes, the more danger a man is in: for Amorous Love, even to Husbands, is dangerous; for that kind of Love takes delight to progreſs about, when Matrimonial Love is conſtant, and conſiders Nature as it is: Beſides, a good Wife will not diſlike that in her Husband, which ſhe is ſubject to her ſelf; but howſoever I will never marry, unleſs I can get ſuch a Wife as is attended by Virtue, directed by Truth, inſtructed by Age, on honeſt grounds, and honourable principles, which Wife will neither diſlike me, nor I her, but the more we are together, the better we ſhall love, and live as a maried pair ought to live, and not as diſſembling Lovers, as moſt maried couples do.

1Gentlem

What think you of chooſing a Wife amongſt the Sociable Virgins?

2Gent

No, no, I will chooſe none of them; for they are too full of diſcourſe: for I would have a Wife rather to have a liſtning Ear, than a talking Tongue; for by the Ear ſhe may receive wiſe inſtructions, and ſo learn to practice that which is noble and good; alſo to know my deſires, as to obey my will; when by ſpeaking much, ſhe may expreſs her ſelf a fool: for great Talkers are not the wiſeſt Practiſers: Beſides, her reſtleſs Tongue will diſturb my Contemplations, the Tranquillity of my Mind, and the peace, quiet, and reſt of my Life.

Exeunt.

Scene 3031.

Enter Madam Malateſte, and another Maid, and Nan, the former Ladies Maid.

Madam Mal

Are you ſhe that takes upon you to govern, and to be Miſtris in this House?

Nan

Why I do but that I did in the other Ladies time.

Madam Mal

Let me tell you, you ſhall not do ſo in my time; nay you ſhall have no doings. wWherefore get you out of the Houſe.

Nan

I will not go.

Madam Mal

No? but you shall. She ſpeaks to her other Maid. Go you and call one of thoſe ſervants I brought with me. The maid goes out, and enters a man-ſervant. Here take this wench, and put her out of the Gates.

Exit Lady.

Nan

You Rogue, touch me and you dare, I ſhall have one to defend me.

Man

I defie your Champion.

The man takes her up and carries her, ſhe ſhreeks or cries out, Monſieur Malateſte enters. Vvvv Monſieur 354 Vvvv1v 354

Monſieur Mal

What you Villain, will you force her? ſet her down.

Man

I did no more than what I was commanded.

Monſieur Mal

Who commanded you?

Man

My Lady, Sir, commanded me to carry her out of the gates.

Monſieur Mal

Pray let her alone until I have ſpoke with my wife.

Man

I ſhall Sir.

Exit man. She cries.

Monſieur Mal

What’s the matter Nan?

Nan

Only my Ladies diſlikes of my perſon: for it could not be through any neglect of my ſervice, or faithful diligence, or humble duty, but through a paſſionate humour, becauſe ſhe hath heard you were pleaſed heretofore to favour me.

Malateſte

But now we are very honeſt Nan.

Nan

Yes, the more unkind man you, to win a young Maid to love, and then to turn her away in diſgrace.

Malateſte

I do not turn you away.

Nan

Yes but you do, if you ſuffer my Lady to turn me away.

Malateſte

How ſhould I help that? for ſhe hath ſuch a ſtrong ſpirit, as not to be controlld.

Nan

O Sir, if you bridle her, you may guide her as you will.

Malateſte

How ſhould I bridle her?

Nan

Why put her to her allowance, and take the government of your Family out of her hands, as you did to your former Lady.

Malateſte

My other wife was born with a quiet obedient nature, and this with a high and turbulent nature; and if I ſhould croſs her high working ſpirit, ſhe would grow mad.

Nan

Why then you would have a good excuſe to tie her up.

Malateſte

Her Friends would never ſuffer me; beſides, the world would condemn me, and account me a Tyrant.

Nan

Why it is better to be accounted a Tyrant than a Fool.

Malateſte

O no; for men ought to be ſweet and gentle-natur’d to the Effeminate Sex.

Nan

I ſee by you, that the worſe that men are us’d, the better Husbands they make: for you were both unkind and cruel to your other Lady, neither could you find, or at leaſt would not give ſuch Arguments for her.

Malateſte

Will your rebuke me for that which you perſwaded me unto, by diſpraiſing your Lady unto me?

Nan

Alas Sir, I was ſo fond of your company, that I was jealous even of my Lady, and love is to be pardon’d: wherefore, Dear Sir, turn me not away; for Heaven knows I deſire to live no longer than when I can have your favour, and wiſh I were blind, if I might not be where I may ſee you, and my heart leaps for joy, whenſoever I hear your voice: wherefore good Sir, for loves ſake pity me.

She ſeems to cry.

Malat

Well, I will ſpeak to my wife for you.

Exit Monſieur Malateſte. Nan alone.

Nan

Well, if I can but get my Maſter but dance once, to kiſſ me again, which 355Vvvv2r 355 which I will be induſtrious for, I will be revenged of this domineering Lady: I hope I ſhall be too crafty for her.

Exit.

Act V.

Scene 3132.

Enter Monſieur Frere, and Madamoiſelle Sœur.

Sœur

Brother, ſpeak no more upon ſo bad a ſubject, for fear I wiſh you dumb: for the very breath that’s ſent forth with your words, will bliſter both my ears: I would willingly hide your faults, nay I am aſham’d to make them known; but if you do perſiſt, by Heaven I will diſcover your wicked deſires, both to my Father and Husband.

Frere

Will you ſo?

Sœur

Yes that I will.

Frere

Well, I will leave you, and try if Reaſon can conquer your evil deſires, or elſe I’ll die.

Sœur

Heaven pour ſome holy Balſom into your feſter’d ſoul.

Exeunt.

Scene. 3233.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and Madam Malateſte his Wife.

Monſieur Mal

Wife, I am come an humble Petitioner to you in the behalf of Nan, ſhe hath been a ſervant here ever ſince I was firſt maried to my other Wife.

Madam

No, no, Husband, I will have none of your whores in the houſe where I live; if you muſt have whores, go ſeek them abroad.

Monſieur

Pray let not your jealous Paſſion turn away a good ſervant.

Madam

Had you rather pleaſe your ſervant, a whore, or me?

Monſieur

Why you.

Madam

Then turn her away.

Monſieur

But ſurely Wife you will let me have ſo much power, as to keep an old ſervant.

Madam

No, Husband, if your old ſervant be a young luſty wench.

Monſieur

But I have paſs’d my word that ſhe ſhall ſtay.

Madam

And I have ſworn an Oath that ſhe ſhall go away.

Monſieur

But my promiſe muſt be kept: wherefore ſhe ſhall not goe away.

Madam

I ſay ſhe ſhall go away; nay more, I will have her whip’d at the end of a Cart, and then ſent out of doors.

Vvvv2 Monſieur 356 Vvvv2v 356

Monſieur

As I am Maſter, I will command none ſhall touch her; and let me ſee who dares touch her.

Madam

Who dares touch her? why I can hire poor fellows for money, not only to whip her, but murder you.

Monſieur

Are you ſo free with my Eſtate? I will diſcharge you of that Office of keeping my money.

Madam

If you do, I have Youth and Beauty, that will hire me Revengers, and get me Champions.

Monſieur

Will you ſo?

Madam

Yes, or anything rather than want my will; and know, I perfectly hate you, for taking my Maids part againſt me.

Monſieur

Nay prethee Wife be not ſo cholerick: for I ſaid all this but to try thee.

Madam

You ſhall prove me, Husband, before I have done.

Exeunt.

Scene 3334.

Enter Madam Sœur alone.

Sœur

Shall I divulge my Brothers Crimes, which are ſuch Crimes as will ſet a mark of Infamy upon my Family and Race for ever? or ſhall I let Vice run without reſtraint? or ſhall I prove falſe to my Husbands bed; to ſave my brothers life: or ſhall I damn my Soul and his, to ſatiſfie his wilde deſires? O no, we both will die, to ſave our Souls, and keep our Honours clear.

Exit.

Scene 3435.

Enter Monſieur Frere alone.

Frere

The more I ſtruggle with my Affections, the weaker do I grow for to reſiſt. If Gods had power, they ſure would give me ſtrength, or were they juſt, they would exact no more than I could pay; and if they cannot help, or will not help me, Furies riſe up from the infernal deep, and give my Actions aid; Devils aſſist me, and I will learn you to be more evil than you are; and when my black horrid deſigns are fully finiſh’d, then take my ſoul, which is the quinteſſence of wickedneſs, and ſqueeze ſome venom forth upon the World, that may infect mankind with plagues of ſins

There multitudes will bury mine,

Or count me as a Saint, and offer at my Shrine.

Exit.
Scene 357 Xxxx1r 357

Scene 3536.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and his Maid Nan.

Malateſte

Nan, you muſt be contented, for you muſt be gone: for your Lady will not ſuffer you to be in the houſe.

Nan

Will you viſit me, if I ſhould live near your Houſe, at the next Town?

Malateſte

No: for that will cauſe a paarting betwixt my Wife and me, which I would not have for all the World: wherefore Nan, God be with you.

Nan

May your Houſe be your Hell, and your Wife be your Devil.

Exeunt.

Scene 3637.

Enter Madam Malateſte, and her Maid.

Maid

What will your Ladyſhip have for your Supper?

Madam

Whatſoever is rare and coſtly.

Exit maid. Enter Steward.

Steward

Did your Ladyſhip ſend for me?

Madam Mal

Yes: for you having been an old ſervant in my Fathers Houſe, will be more diligent to obſerve and obey my commands: wherefore go to the Metropolitan City, and there try all thoſe that trade in vanities, and ſee if they will give me credit, in caſe my Hursband ſhould reſtrain his purſe from me, and tell them that they may may make my Husband pay my debts. The next is, I would have you take me a fine houſe in the City: for I intend to live there, and not in this dull place, where I ſee no body but my Husband, who ſpends his time in ſneaking after his Maids tails, having no other imployment; beſides, ſolitarineſs begets melancholy, and melancholy begets ſuſpition, and ſuſpition jealouſie; ſo that my Husband grows amorous with idleneſs, and jealous with melancholy. Thus he hath the pleaſure of variety, and I the pain of jealouſie: wherefore be you induſtrious to obey my command.

Steward

I ſhall Madam.

Exeunt.
Xxxx Scene 358 Xxxx1v 358

Scene. 3738.

Enter Madamoiſelle Amor, as to her Father Monſieur Senſible.

Madam Amor

Good Sir conceal my Paſſion, leſt it become a ſcorn, when once ’tis known: for all rejected Lovers are deſpised, and thoſe that have ſome ſmall returns of Love; yet do thoſe faint Affections triumph vaingloriousſly upon thoſe that are ſtrong, and make them as their ſlaves.

Senſible

Surely Child thy Affections ſhall not be divulged by me, I only wiſh thy Paſſions were as ſilent in thy breast, as on my tongue, as that he thou loveſt ſo much may lie as dead and buried in thy memory.

Amor

There’s no way to bury Love, unleſs it buries me.

Exeunt.

Scene 3839.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte, and Madam Malateſte .

Monſieur Mal

I hear Wife that you are going to the Metropolitan City.

Madam

Yes Husband: for I find my ſelf much troubled with the Spleen, and therefore I go to try if I can be cur’d.

Monſieur

Why, will the City cure the Spleen?

Madam

Yes, for it is the only remedy: for melancholy muſt be diverted with divertiſements; beſides, there are the beſt Phyſicians.

Monſieur

I will ſend for ſome of the beſt and moſt famous Phyſicians from thence, if you will ſtay.

Madam

By no means: for they will exact ſo much upon your importance, as they will coſt more money than their journey is worth.

Monſieur

But Wife, it is my delight and profit to live in the Country; beſides, I hate the City.

Madam

And I hate the Country.

Monſieur

But every good Wife ought to conform her ſelf to her Huſbands humours and will.

Madam

But Husband, I profeſs my ſelf no good Wife: wherefore I will follow my own humour. Exit Madam. He alone.

Monſieur Malateſte

I finde there is no croſſing her, ſhe will have her Will.

Exit. Scene 359 Xxxx2r 359

Scene 3940.

Enter Monſieur Marry, and Madam Sœur.

Monſieur Marry

Wife, I am come to rob your Cabinet of all the Ribands that are in it: for I have made a running match betwixt Monſieur la Whips Nag, and your Brothers Barb; and he ſaith that he ſhall not run, unleſs you give him Ribands: for he is perswaded your Favours will make him win.

Sœur

Thoſe Ribands I have, you ſhall have, Husband: But what will my Brother ſay if his Barb ſhould loſe the match?

Marry

I ask’d him that queſtion, and he anſwer’d, that if he loſt, he would knock his Barbs brains out of his head.

Sœur

Where is my Brother?

Marry

Why he is with your Father, and ſuch a good companion he is to day, and ſo merry, as your Father is ſo fond of his company, inſomuch as he hangs about his neck as a new-maried wife: But I conceive the chief reaſon is, that youur Brother ſeems to conſent to marry the Lady Amor.

Sœur

I am glad of that with all my ſoul.

Marry

But he ſays, if he doth marry her, it muſt be by your perſwaſions.

Sœur

He ſhall not want perſwading, if I can perſwade him.

Marry

Come Wife, will you give me ſome Ribands?

Sœur

Yes Husband, I will go fetch them.

Marry

Nay Wife, I will go along with you.

Exeunt.

Scene 4041.

Enter Madamoiſelle Amor alone, as in a melancholy humour.

Madam Amor

Thoughts, ceaſe to move, and let my Soul take reſt, or let the damps of grief quench out lifes flame.

Enter Monſieur Senſible.

Senſible

My dear Child, do not pine away for Love: for I will get thee a handſomer man than Monſieur Frere.

Amor

Sir, I am not ſo much in love with his perſon, as to dote ſo fondly thereon.

Senſible

What makes you ſo in love with him then? for you have no great acquaintance with him.

Amor

Lovers can ſeldome give a Reaſon for their Paſſion; yet mine grew from your ſuperlative praiſes; thoſe praiſes drew my Soul out at my Ears to entertain his love: But ſince my Soul miſſes of what it ſeeks, will not return, but leave my body empty to wander like a ghoſt, in gloomy ſadneſs, and midnight melancholy.

Xxxx2 Monſieur 360 Xxxx2v 360

Senſible

I did miſtake the ſubject I ſpoke of, the ſubſtance being falſe, thoſe praiſes were not current: wherefore lay them aſide, and fling them from thee.

Amor

I cannot: for they are minted, and have Loves ſtamp, and being out, increaſes like to Intereſt-money, and is become ſo vaſt a ſumm, as I believe all praiſes paſt, preſent, or what’s to come, or can be, are too few for his merits, and too ſhort of his worth.

Senſible

Rather than praiſe him, I wiſh my Tongue had been for ever dumb.

Amor

O wiſh not ſo, but rather I had been for ever deaf. She goes out. He alone.

Senſible

My Child is undone.

Exeunt

Scene 4142.

Enter two ſervants of Monſieur Malateſte’s.

1Servant

My Maſter looks ſo lean and pale, as I doubt he is in a Conſumption.

2Servant

Faith he takes ſomething to heart, whatſoever it is.

1Servant

I doubt he is jealous.

2Servant

He hath reaſon: for if my Lady doth not cuckold him, yet ſhe gives the World cauſe to think ſhe doth: for ſhe is never without her Gallants.

1Servant

There is a great difference betwixt our Lady that is dead, and this.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte.

Malateſte

Is my Wife come home yet?

1Servant

No Sir.

Malateſte

I think it be about twelve of the Clock.

1Servant

It is paſt one Sir.

Malateſte

If it be ſo late, I will ſit up no longer watching for my Wives coming home, but I will go to bed; for I am not very well.

1Servant

You do not look well, Sir.

Malateſte

Indeed I am ſick.

Exeunt.

Scene 4243.

Enter Madam Sœur, and Monſieur Frere:

Madam Sœur

Lord Brother, what is the reaſon you are come back ſo ſoon? Hath not your Barb run the Race?

Frere

No.

Sœur 361 Yyyy1r 361

Sœur

What makes you here then?

Frere

To ſee you.

Sœur

To ſee me? why I ſhall give you no thanks, becauſe you left my Husband behind you.

Frere

I do not come for your thanks, I come to pleaſe my ſelf.

Sœur

Prethee Brother get thee gone: for thy face doth not appear ſo honeſt as it uſes to do.

Frere

I do not know how my Face doth appear; but my Heart is as it was, your faithful Lover.

Sœur

Heaven forbid you ſhould relapſe into your old diſeaſe.

Frere

Let me tell you, Siſter, I am as I was, and was as I am, that is, from the firſt time I ſaw you, ſince I came from Travel, I have been in love with you, and muſt enjoy you; and if you will imbrace my love with a free conſent, ſo, if not, I’ll force you to it.

Sœur

Heaven will never ſuffer it, but cleave the Earth, and ſwallow you alive.

Frere

I care not, ſo you be in my Arms; but I will firſt try Heavens power, and ſtruggle with the Deities.

He takes her in his arms, and carries her out, ſhe cries help, help, murther, murther. Exeunt.

Scene 4344.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte as being not well, and his Wife Madam Malateſte

Monſieur Mal

Wife, Is this the way to cure melancholy? to ſit up all night at Cards, and to loſe five hundred pounds at a ſitting? or to ſtay all night abroad a Dancing and Revelling,

Madam

O yes: for the Doctors ſay there is nothing better than good company, to imploy the Thoughts with (outward Objects) otherwiſe the Thoughts feed too much upon the Body; beſides, they ſay that Exerciſe is excellent good to open Obſtructions, and to diſperſe melancholy Vapours; and the Doctors ſay, there is not Exerciſe better than Dancing, becauſe there are a great Company meet together, which adds Pleaſure to the Labour.

Monſieur

My other Wife did not do thus.

Madam

Wherefore ſhe died in her youth, with melancholy; but I mean to live while I am old, if mirth and good company will keep me alive; and know I am not ſo kind-hearted to kill my ſelf, to ſpare your Purſe, or to pleaſe your Humour.

The Lady goes out, and he goes out after, ſighing.
Yyyy Scene 362 Yyyy1v 362

Scene 4445.

Enter Madam Sœur alone, as raviſhed.

Sœur

Who will call unto the Gods for aid, ſince they aſſiſt not Innocency, nor give protection to a Virtuous Life? Is Piety of no uſe? or is Heaven ſo obdurate, no holy prayers can enter Heaven-gates, or penitential tears can move the Gods to pity? But O my ſorrows are too big for words, and all actions too little for his puniſhment.

Enter Monſieur Frere all unbutton’d, and his ſword drawn in his hand.

Frere

Siſter, I muſt die, wherefore you muſt not live: for I cannot be without your company, although in death, and in the ſilent grave, where no Love’s made, nor Paſſion known.

Sœur

It’s welcom News: for if death comes not by your hand, my hand ſhall give a paſſage unto life.

Frere

There is none ſo fit to act that part as I, who am ſo full of ſin, want nothing now but murther to make up meaſure.

He wounds her to death.

Sœur

Death, thou art my griefs Reprieve, and wilt unlade my Soul from heavy thoughts that miſerable life throws on, and ſinks me to the Earth. Brother farewel, may all your crimes be buried in my grave, and may my ſhame and yours be never known.

Oh, oh, dies.

Frere

Now ſhe is dead, my Mind is at reſt, ſince I know none can enjoy her after me; but I will follow thee: I come, my Miſtris, Wife, and Siſter all in one.

Monſieur Frere falls upon the point of his ſword, then falls cloſe by Madam Sœur, and lays his Arm over her, then ſpeaks.

You Gods of Love, if any Gods there be, O hear my prayer! And as we came both from one Womb, ſo joyn our Souls in the Elizium, our Bodies in one Tomb.

Oh, oh, oh, dies.

Scene 4546.

Enter Monſieur Malateſte upon a Couch, as ſick of a Conſumption, his Friend Monſieur Fefy ſitting by him. Then enters Madam Malateſte to her ſick Husband.

Monſieur Mal

Wife, you are very unkind, that you will not come to ſee me now I am ſick, nor ſo much as ſend to know how I do.

Madam

I am loth to trouble you with unneceſſary viſits, or impertinent queſtions.

Monſieur 363 Yyyy2r 363

Monſieur Mal

Is it unneceſſary or impertinent to ſee a Husband when he is ſick? or to ask how he doth?

Madam

Yes, when their viſits and queſtions can do them no good: But God be with you, for I muſt be gone.

Monſieur Mal

What, already?

Madam

Yes; for I doubt I have ſtaid too long: for I have appointed a meeting, and it will be a diſhonour for me to break my word.

Fefy

But it will be more diſhonour to be dancing when your Husband is dying, Lady.

Madam

What, will you teach me? go tutor Girls and Boys, and not me.

Monſieur

Let her go, friend: for her anger will diſturb me.

Exit Lady.

Fefy

I know not what her anger doth you; but her neglect of you doth diſturb me: And for my part, I wonder how you can ſuffer her.

Monſieur

Alas how ſhall I help, or remedy it? But Heaven is juſt, and puniſhes me for the neglect I uſed towards my firſt Wife, who was virtuous and kind.

Fefy

She was a ſweet Lady indeed.

Monſieur

O ſhe was! But I Devil as I was, to uſe her as I did, making her a ſlave unto my whore and frowns, conjecturing all her Virtues to a contrary ſenſe: for I miſtook her patience for ſimplicity, her kindneſs for wantonneſs, her thrift for covetouſneſs, her obedience for flattery, her retir’d life for dull ſtupidity; and what with the grief to think how ill I uſed her, and grieving to ſee how ill this Wife uſes me, waſting my Honour and Eſtate, ſhe hath brought me into a Conſumption, as you ſee: But when I am dead, as I cannot live long, I deſire you, who are my Executor, to let me buried in the ſame tomb wherein my Wife is laid: for it is a joy to me, to think my duſt ſhall be mixt with her pure aſhes: for I had rather be in the grave with my firſt Wife, than live in a Throne with my ſecond. But I grow very ſick, even to death: wherefore let me be removed.

Exeunt.

Scene 4647.

Enter Monſieur Pere, and his Son-in-Law Monſieur Marry.

Monſieur Pere

Son-in-Law, did your Brother ſay he was very ill?

Marry

He ſaid he had ſuch a pain on his left ſide, as he could not ſit on his horſe, but muſt be forced to return home again.

Pere

Heaven bleſs him: for my heart is ſo full of fears and doubts, as if it did Prognoſticate ſome great misfortune to me.

Marry

Pray Sir be not ſo dejected, nor look ſo pale; I dare warrant you the News that his Barb hath won the Race, will be a ſufficient Cataplaſm to take away his Stitch.

The Father and Son-in-law meet a ſervant

Pere

How doth my Son and daughter?

Servant

I think they are both well, Sir.

Pere

Why, do not you know, and yet dwell in the ſame Houſe?

Yyyy2 Servant 364 Yyyy2v 364

Servant

No indeed not I: for I only ſaw my young Maſter go towards my Ladies lodging, but I did not follow to inquire of their healths, for fear they ſhould be angry, and think me bold.

Enter Madam Sœur’s Maid.

Pere

Where is your Lady?

Maid

In her Chamber I think, Sir.

Pere

Do you but think ſo? do you not know? ’Tis a ſign you wait not very diligently.

Maid

Why Sir, I met my young Maſter going to his Siſters Chamber, and he ſent me on an Errand, and when I came back, the outward doors were lock’d, ſo as I could not get in any ways.

Marry

The doors lock’d, ſay you?

Maid

Yes Sir.

Marry

Let them be broken open.

Pere

O my doubts foretell a miſerable Tragedy.

The door ſeems to be broke open; the ſervant ſeeing the murder’d Couple, cries out, Murther, murther ; Monſieur Pere falls down dead at the ſight; while the ſervant ſtrives to recover life in the old man, Monſieur Marry runs to his murder’d Wife, and falls to the ground and kiſſes her, and then tears his hair, and beats his breaſt, and being as diſtracted, riſes haſtily, and catches up the bloody ſword to kill himſelf; his ſervants hold and hinder him from that Act.

Marry

Villains let go, ſhe ſhall not wander in the ſilent ſhades without my company; beſides, my ſoul will croud through multitudes of ſouls, that flock to Charons Boat, to make an eaſie paſſage for her pure ſoul: wherefore let go, I command you as being your Maſter, let go.

The ſervants ſtill ſcuffle for to get away the ſword; in come more ſervants, and carrie him out, as being diſtracted. Monſieur Pere, not to be recover’d, is carried out with the two murder’d bodies. Enter three Servants.

1Servant

This is ſo ſtrange an Accident, that hardly Story can mention the like.

2Servant

I wonder how they came murder’d, the door being lock’d, and none but themſelves; if it had been thieves, they would have robbed them, as well as murder’d them.

1Servant

I believe my young Maſter was the Thief that did both rob and murther.

3Servant

Well, I could tell a ſtory that I heard, liſtning one day at my Ladies Chamber-door; but I will not.

1Servant

Prethee tell it us.

3Servant. 365 Zzzz1r 365

3Servant

No, I will not, you ſhall excuſe me for this time.

Exeunt.

Scene. 4748.

Enter Monſieur Senſible, and Madamoiſelle Amor.

Senſible

Daughter, I am come to bring you a Medicine to take out the ſting of Love.

Amor

What is it Sir?

Senſible

Why, Monſieur Frere hath moſt wickedly kill’d himſelf.

She ſtaggers.

Madam Amor

Although I cannot uſher him to the Grave, I’ll follow him.

Falls down dead.

Senſible

Help, help for Heavens ſake, help.

Enter Servants.

Senſible

O my Child is dead! O ſhe is dead, ſhe is dead! Carry her to her Bed.

Exit Father and Servants. Enter two ſervants, running and meeting each other.

1Servant

O my Lady is quite dead, and paſt all cure, and her Father, I think, will die alſo.

2Servant

I am ſure there is a ſad, a ſad Houſe to day.

Exeunt.

Finis.

Zzzz The 366 366

Epilogue

If ſubtile Ayr, the Conduit to each ear,

Hearts paſſion mov’d to draw a ſadder tear

From your ſquees’d brains, on your pale cheeks to lie,

Diſtill’d from every Fountain of each eye;

Our Poetreſs hath done her part, and you

To make it ſadder, know this Story’s true;

A plaudity you’l give, if think it fit,

For none but will ſay this Play is well writ.

The Lord Marqueſs of New Caſtle writ this Epilogue.