557 Bbbbbbb1r 557

The Actors Names.

Sir William Admirer, and many other Gentlemen.

Lady Peaceable.

Lady Solitary.

Lady Cenſurer.

Lady Examination.

Lady Bridlehead.

Lady Kindeling.

Lady Gadder.

Lady Faction, and a Matron.

Bbbbbbb The
558 Bbbbbbb1v 558

The Comical Hash.

Act I.

Scene 1.

Enter a Company of young Gentlemen, and two or three young Ladyes, as the Lady Gadder, the Lady Kindeling, and the Lady Bridlehead.

Kindeling

My Dear Gadder.

Gadder

My ſweet Kindeling.

They imbrace and kiſs each other.

Gentleman

Faith Ladyes Nature never made women to kiſs each other, and therefore ’tis unnatural, and being unnatural it is unlawfull, and being unlawfull it ought to be forbiden.

Gadder

Yes, you would have us kiſs you men.

Gentleman

No Ladies, we men will kiſs you women, if you pleaſe to give us leave.

Bridlehead

You will take leave ſometimes.

Gentleman

’Tis when we think we ſhall not be refus’d, or at leaſt not to be disfavour’d for it.

The Ladies kiſs again.

Gentleman

What, kiſſing again? faith Ladies you will make us believe by your often kiſſing, that you deſire we ſhould kiſs you, and with that belief we may run into an error, if it be an error to kiſs a fair Lady.

Kindeling

Fye, fye, you men are odd Creatures.

Gentleman

No, you women are odd Creatures, when you are not with us men.

Kindeling

Preethy Gadder and Bridlehead let us go do ſomething to paſs away our time.

Gadder

What ſhall we do?

Bridlehead

Let us go to Cards.

Gadder

Faith I have made a Vow not to play for money.

Bridlehead

We will play for Sweet-meats.

Kindeling

No, preethy let us play for a Sack Poſſit.

Gadder

O no, we will play for Sweet-meats.

Kindeling

I say a Sack Poſſit.

Gadder

Let the moſt voices carry it.

Gentleman. 559 Bbbbbbb2r 559

Gentleman

I will ſpeak for the men, we ſay a Sack Poſſit, for that will make us both good Company in the eating the Poſſit, and after ’tis eaten, whereas Sweet-meats will make us heavy and dull.

Gadder

Well then let us go play for a Sack Poſſit.

Bridlehead

Faith a Sack Poſſit will make me drunk.

Gentleman

You will be the better Company Lady.

Kindeling

Fye Bridlehead, you ſhould not ſay drunk, but your head giddy.

Gentleman

That is better than to be drunk: for a giddy head hath a light heel.

Exeunt.

Scene 2.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1 Gent

The Lord Poverty is a gallant Noble perſon.

2 Gent

They are gallant and Noble that are Rich, and titled Honour without Means, is like a Body without a Soul.

1 Gent

You are miſtaken friend, it is rather a Soul without a Body.

2 Gent

Alas titled Honour without Means to maintain it, is deſpiſed.

1 Gent

If the perſon hath Merit worthy of his titled Honour, that titled Honour is worthy to be reſpected and bowed to by all inferiour perſons; nay put the caſe that Honourable titles are placed upon Unworthy perſons, yet all ought to give reſpect to thoſe Titles, and to do homage thereunto, though not unto the Perſon, yet becauſe it comes from a lawfull and Supreme power; as Natural rays of light do from the Sun; and thoſe that ſtrive through envy and through ſpite, for to Eclipſe the light, deſerve to be in a perpetual darkneſs; ſo thoſe that do detract from titled Honours, ought never to be honoured with Titles or reſpect.

2 Gent

Why, ’tis not only I that have no ſuch titles of Honour that ſpeaks againſt them, but thoſe that do poſſeſs them, and their fore-fathers long before them.

1 Gent

They that do ſo ought to be degraded, as being unworthy to wear the badge or mark of their fore-fathers Merits, or heroick Acts; for they do ſhew they have none of their own; but thoſe that get their own Honours, by their own Merits and worthy Actions, deſerve them beſt; for they, like as a clear and glorious day, appear; for oft-times their poſterity, like Clouds begot from groſs and drowſie Earth, ſtrive to quench out their Fathers flaming Honours, and by their Baſeneſs obſcure the light of their fore-fathers great and glorious Fame, and in the end bury themſelves in dark Oblivion, as vaniſhing to nothing, as being never mentioned nor remembred; but thoſe that for their loyalty and their fidelity unto their King and Country, have hazarded lives, and loſt their liberties and Eſtates, and are grown poor for Honeſties ſake, and Virtuous cauſes, yet they in after Ages will live with great renown; for ’tis not in the power of ſpite to pull them down; for the Gods give Fame to Noble Actions, as Kings give titled Honours; though men that are baſe will not relieve them, yet Fame will remember them; and though baſe men will rail againſt them, yet Fame will praiſe them; and though they dye with Poverty, and ſhould end their lives in a foul Bbbbbbb2 Ditch 560 Bbbbbbb2v 560 Ditch, yet ſhall that Ditch be honoured by their Death, more than the rich unworthy man be honoured by his ſtately Tombs and coſtly Funerals.

Exeunt.

Scene 3.

Enter the Lady Solitary, and the Lady Examination.

Examination

What’s the matter with you to day Lady Solitary? you look as if you were in a married humour.

Solitary

Why Lady Examination, what humour is a married humour?

Examination

Why a maſſe of ill humours mixt or put together; as a lumpiſh, dumpiſh, dull, ſtupid humour; or a pieviſh, fretting, pining, whining humour; or a brawling, yawling, quarrelling, ſcoulding humour; or a jealous, ſuſpicious humour; or a fawning, feigning, diſſembling humour.

Solitary

If theſe humours are woven into the marriage knot, I will never marry, for I would be loth to have the peace of my life ſtrangled in diſcontent: for whoſoever be ſubject to theſe humours can never be happy.

Examination

You will change your mind, and rather live with theſe humours than without a Husband; but I am come now to fetch you abroad, for their is a Company of ſociable Ladyes and gallants, that have made a meeting ſome league of, where there will be Mirth, Jollity, Plenty and Pleaſure, and they deſire you will be ſociable for once, and go along with them.

Solitary

Would you have the Body which is the habitation of the Mind a wanderer, travelling from place to place, diſturbing the mind with unprofitable journeys?

Examination

No, I would have it remove ſo as it may always ſituate it ſelf in a wholſome, profitable, plentifull, pleaſant, and pleaſurable place.

Solitary

I perceive you prefer the pleaſures of the Body before the delight of the Mind.

Examination

Why the mind can take no delight without the body; for the body gives the mind a being and habitation: for there would be no mind if there were no body, but if there could be a mind without a body, yet the mind could receive no delight without the pleaſure of the body, for the pleaſure of the body is the delight of the mind, and not the delight of the mind the pleaſure of the body, for the mind doth never give nor return; wherefore come away, and leave your Solitary muſing to thoſe whoſe condition of fortune denies them the uſe of the World, and worldly pleaſures, and do not deny your ſelf, for I hate a ſelf-denying Creature.

Solitary

Well, you ſhall prevail with me for this one time.

Exeunt.
Scene 561 Ccccccc1r 561

Scene 4.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1 Gent

Have you ſeen Monſieur Thefts Book of Poems that is newly come forth?

2 Gent

Yes.

1 Gent

And how do you approve of them?

2 Gent

As well as I do of an Anagram.

1 Gent

There is never an Anagram in the Book.

2 Gent

Why the whole Book is an Anagram of Doctor Coſtives Poems: for he hath only new placed the words, as they do Anagrams of names, but the whole matter, ſenſe, and conceits is the ſame.

1 Gent

Indeed he hath imitated him.

2 Gent

By your favour, imitation is only to be like another, and not the ſame: but his is the very ſame, as I have told you, for which he deſerves leſs praiſes than a Imitator, although thoſe that do imitate any Excellent Poet, do not gain ſo much honour to themſelves, as they give honour to thoſe they imitate; as for example, the Imitators of Homer give more honour to Homer than to themſelves; for Imitators are only as Painters, where he that is imitated is as Nature, or the Gods, for the one draws but Copies, the other makes the Original; ſo that there is as much difference as a Man, and the Picture of a man.

1 Gent

But a Painter that draws the Picture of a man, very like the life, he may be more famous than the man that is drawn.

2 Gent

But not worſhiped and adored, as Nature is, that made him: for Art cannot out-do Nature, nor do as Nature hath done, and doth do; and an Imitator is but an Artificer, when as the Original Author is a Creator, and ought to be accounted of, and reſpected, and worſhip’d as Divine; but there are or have been but very few Poets that have ſuch powers and parts to make a perfect Creature, which is a perfect work, as Poems, ſcenes, or ſtory; but ſome Poets are like Chymiſts, that ſtrive and labour to make as Nature makes, but moſt fail in their work, and loſe their labours, wanting that Natural heat, or well-tempered matter, which ſhould produce ſuch Creatures as Nature makes, yet ſome ’tis said have made gold, as Raimond Lully.

1 Gent

Then Homer is a Raimond Lully in Poetry.

2 Gent

Nay rather Raimond Lully is a Homer in Chymiſtry: for no man ought to compare Homer to any Creature, by reaſon he hath out-wrought Nature, having done that which ſhe never did; for Nature never made Gods, Devils, Hells, and Heavens, as Homer hath done.

1 Gent

For my part I had rather be Raimond Lully than Homer: for I had rather have the Art to make Gold, than the Nature to make Poems.

2 Gent

You would not gain ſo much by Gold as Wit.

1 Gent

Why, what ſhall I gain?

2 Gent

Fame.

1 Gent

But Gold will bribe Fame to ſpeak as I would have her, if I have gold enough to bribe her.

2 Gent

But poems will force Fame to ſpeak for you without bribe.

1 Gent

That were all one to me, ſo ſhe ſpeaks well, whether ſhe be forced, flattered, or bribed.

Ccccccc 2 Gent. 562 Ccccccc1v 562

2 Gent

But there is a fate of Poverty on Chymiſts, as much as on Poets, ſo that if you were as Excellent a Chymiſt as Raimond Lully, you would be as poor as Divine Homer.

1 Gent

Not if I could make Gold.

2 Gent

Yes, for Chymiſts ſpend more in the making of Gold, than they gain by it when it is made; and how ſhould they do otherways, when they muſt needs ſpend a pound or pounds to make a grain? for the limbeck of a Chymiſt is but a little Still ſet a-work by a waſting fire, whereas Natures limbeck is the Earth, ſet a-work by an undecaiable fire, which is the Sun; this Chymiſt becomes as poor by an over-greedy Covetouſneſs, as Poets by a deſpiſing Careleſsneſs.

1 Gent

Then Chymiſts are like thoſe Bodyes which become lean with over-eating, and Poets like thoſe Bodyes that becomes lean by over-faſting; the one ſurfits, the other famiſhes.

2 Gent

Indeed Chymiſts are ſo greedily Covetous, and feed ſo much on hopes, as they never leave untill ſuch time as they have vomitted out all their wealth, and then they become ſick and lean with Poverty.

Exeunt.

Act II.

Scene 5.

Enter two other Gentlemen.

1 Gent

The Lady Faction is of a ſtrange buſy Nature, ſhe runs into every Houſe, takes upon her to govern every ones Family, yet cannot rule her own; ſhe condemns all Actions, be they never ſo Juſt or Prudent; all Officers, be they never ſo worthy, or fitly placed; all Laws, be they never ſo beneficial, or expedient for the Common-wealth; all Cuſtoms, be they never ſo antient or harmleſs, indeed all peaceable, wiſe, and well ordered Governments: ſhe hates and delights in nothing but diſordered change.

2 Gent

’Tis ſaid ſhe is in love with Sir William Admirer.

1 Gent

And he in love with the Lady Peaceable.

2 Gent

She is a ſweet Lady.

Exeunt.

Scene 6.

Enter the Lady Peaceable, and Sir William Admirer.

Admirer

I will ſit and liſſen to what you ſay, and learn from you what is the nobleſt way to entertain the life.

Peaceable

Alas I cannot learn you, I have not long experience, my Soul is young, 563 Ccccccc2r 563 young, a meer novice Soul, it wants both growth and experienced years, for I am like a Houſe that is newly built and is unfurniſhed.

Admirer

Though you are young, you are wiſe.

Peaceable

How can you expect youth can be diſcreet and wiſe, when thoſe that have lived long, and have had much experience, are oftentimes Fools? wherefore I can only entertain you like a Parrot, only with words, not wiſely to diſcourſe, and if you ſhould liſſen to me long, I ſhall ſurfit your Ears with idle words, for the Brain will be as ſoon over-charged with noiſe, as the Stomack with meat.

Admirer

I can no more be weary of thy words, than Angels are with Heavenly Muſick.

Enter the Lady Faction.

Faction

Lady Peaceable, the report is you are Ambitious to get away my Servant Sir William Admirer from me.

Peaceable

I am only Ambitious to live Virtuouſly, and dye Piouſly.

Faction

Why Servant, I hear you have forſaken me.

Admirer

I deſpaired of ever being entertained, and ſo I never really addreſs’d a Sute, but by way of rallery.

Faction

Your Miſtriſs doth not believe you, for ſhe bluſhes either for your faults, or her own.

Peaceable

My Baſhfullneſs proceeds not from a Guiltineſs, either of baſe actions, wicked thoughts, mean birth, or breeding, or evill or erronious opinions; for my baſhfullneſs is only an effect of Nature: for as ſome are naturally fearfull, ſo am I naturally baſhfull; and as Melancholy produces a ſad Countenance, ſo Baſhfullneſs produceth an extorted and a Convulſive Countenance; as Grief produces tears, ſo Baſhfullneſs produces bluſhing.

Admirer

Lady Faction, ſpare my young Miſtriſs, leſt ſhe ſhould out-run you in a full ſpeed.

Faction

Your Miſtriſs is too grave, and ſpeaks too ſcholaſtical for a woman, ſhe ſeems as if ſhe had been bred in an Univerſity, which breeding is fitter for a man.

Peaceable

No ſurely, for men ſhould be bred with Heroick Actions, women with Modeſt Contemplations, as I have been.

Faction

If you have talk’d ſo ſeldome, and have learn’d ſo little, how come you to know ſo much?

Peaceable

My knowledge is not copious, yet I have learn’d as much as my years could imbrace, and my deſire is to know as much as Modeſty will allow of, Honour will give leave to, Capacity can comprehend, or Life can reach at; but the longeſt life is but a ſhort time to gather knowledge in; but Madam, I ſhould think I had learn’d well, if I knew how to do you ſervice.

Faction

Let me tell you, ’tis Craft and Subtilty that you practice, to catch fond, facil Fools under the veil of Civility, but not good Nature; for you, like a Sorcereſs as you are, Inchant and Bewitch all that come neer you, with this diſſembling, for which you ought to be baniſh’d from all noble Company.

Peaceable

Take heed Lady of ſharp-headed Curſes, that Shoot through Innocent Lips, they ſeldome miſs the mark they aim at.

Ccccccc2 Faction. 564 Ccccccc2v 564

Faction

Shoot as many as you will, I fear them not.

Lady Faction goes out.

Admirer

My dear ſweet, wiſe, Virtuous Miſtriſs, be not angry, for all the World knows the Lady Faction is a diſturber of all good and peaceable Society.

Peaceable

No, I am not angry with her, but I will watch her, leſt ſhe ſhould do me ſome harm.

Exeunt.

Scene 7.

Enter the Lady Solitary as ſitting a writing, then enter the Lady Examination as to viſit her.

Examination

Prethee what art thou writing?

Solitary

I am writing Fancies.

Examination

Prethee what are Fancies?

Solitary

Why, Fancies are minzed Objects, pounded and chopt by Imagination, which Imaginations are the ſeveral Cooks which ſerve the Mind; and as skillfull Cooks of ſeveral meats make Bisks or Olioes, ſo doth the Imagination of ſeveral Objects; and as skillfull Cooks will mix ſeveral meats, ſo as not any one particular ſhall be taſted, ſo doth the Imagination of ſeveral Objects or Subjects.

Examination

But ſome ſay Fancies are Created by Motion in the Brain, which would be there were there no ſuch materials as Objects or Subjects, which the Senſes as Caterers bring in.

Solitary

The Brain can no more Create Fancy without the materials of outward Objects, and Subjects, than Nature can Create a World without matter to make it withall; ſo the Brain can no more Create Fancy without the help of the Senſes, than Nature can Create a Creator without the help of Motion; for though Fancies are the works of the Brain, yet the Brain could not work unleſs it had ſomething to work on; but Objects and Subjects of Objects, may be divided in the Brain ſo ſmall, or beaten ſo thin, as the firſt form may be beaten out, and when the firſt form is gone, we deny the matter, like as if we ſhould deny that Paper is made with Rags, becauſe the form of Rags is beaten out; thus by the ſubtill and curious motion of proud Conception joyned with the dazled memory, we deny the Senſes a ſhare, as not being Partners therein, or laboures thereof, the ſame way we conceive the Gods, for the Conceptions of the Gods is but minzed Imaginations.

Exeunt. Scene
565 Ddddddd1r 565

Scene 8.

Enter the Lady Cenſurer, and the Lady Examination.

Examination

Lady Cenſurer, pray what think you of the Lady Retorts wit, hath not ſhe a great wit?

Cenſurer

Oh fye, ſhe hath a Chamber-Maids wit.

Examination

What wit is that Lady?

Cenſurer

Why a ſnip ſnaply wit.

Examination

Indeed I have heard many Nurſery Maids give ſo ſharp and quick replies, as amongſt ſome would be judged to be great wits, yet come to diſcourſe ſeriouſly with them, and they were not much wiſer than Beaſts; but what do you think of the Lady Sharps wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit fetches the skin off of the Ears, it corrodes the minds of the hearers, more than Vinegar the tongues of taſters.

Examination

How approve you of the Lady Courtlyes wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit is tedious, as all Complementing wits are, they tire the Ears of the hearers.

Examination

What ſay you to the Lady Stronglines wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit is coſtive, and is delivered with labour, difficulty, and pain.

Examination

What think you of the Lady Learnings wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit is an Alms tub, it yields nothing but ſcraps, fragments, and broken pieces.

Examination

What think you of the Lady Subtilties wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit is Lime, Twigs, Snares and Traps to catch Fools in or with.

Examination

How like you the Lady Fancies wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit indeed is a true Natural wit, it ’tis ſweet and delightfull, eaſy and pleaſing, as being free and unconſtrain’d.

Examination

How like you the Lady Contemplations wit?

Cenſurer

Her wit is wiſe, and diſtinguiſhing well: for all Comntemplative perſons judge, weigh, and meaſure out the right and truth of every thing, and find out the eaſieſt and profitableſt wayes, by the help of conſideration; yet Contemplative perſons when they come into Company, or publick Societies, their tongues do as Boys, that having been kept hard to their ſtudies, when once they get a play day, they run wildly about, and many times do extravagant actions: ſo Contemplative perſons when they are in Company their tongues ſpeak extravagant words, and their behavior for the moſt part is unnatural to their diſpoſitions; but of all wits the Contemplative wit is the beſt, by reaſon it is a neer Neighbour to Poetry.

Exeunt.
Ddddddd Act 566 Ddddddd1v 566

Act III.

Scene 9.

Enter the Lady Gadder, the Lady Kindeling, and the Lady Bridlehead.

Gadder

Come friend Kindeling, and friend Bridlehead, let us go to the Lady Cenſurers; for there is the reſort of all the gallants at her Houſe.

Bridlehead

What ſhould we do there? for all the men will hearken ſo much to her diſcourſe, as they will take no notice of us.

Kindeling

Why then we will take notice of them: for if we ſhould ſtay at home, and not ſeek out the Company of men, faith we ſhall never get us Husbands.

Bridlehead

It is eaſy to get the Company of men, not ſo eaſy to get Huſbands: for we have a great many men that come often to viſit us, but none offer to marry us.

Gadder

But the more acquaintance we have, the more likely we ſhould get Husbands; for it were a hard Fortune, if amongſt ſo many men we ſhould not get one Husband.

Kindeling

Why one Husband will not ſerve us three.

Gadder

I mean each of us one.

Bridlehead

Well then let us go.

Exeunt.

Scene 10.

Enter the Lady Solitary, and the Lady Examination.

Examination

Oh thou Clod of Earth, ſit not idle here, but go abroad and receive the comfort of the Sun, which works to all effects.

Solitary

I need not, for my Mind is as the Sun it ſelf, and hath the ſame effects; for my Mind doth contract, attract, dilates, and expulſes, for ſometimes it dilates it ſelf as the Sun doth, in beams of light, which is Inventions, at other times the Mind dilates, as the Sun his heat, which is in Poetick flames, and in rarified fancies; likewiſe the Mind attracts, as the Sun doth Vapours from the Earth, ſo my Mind attracts knowledge from the World, as from ſeveral ſubjects and objects, as the Sun from ſeveral Climates; likewiſe as the Sun contracts porous matter into a ſolid ſubſtance, ſo doth my Mind contract looſe thoughts into ſolid Judgment; and as the Sun expulſes united Bodyes into parts, ſo doth my Mind expulſe its ſerious Contemplations, and united Conceptions into ſeveral diſcourſes.

Examination

Prethee expulſe this diſcourſe amongſt thy ſociable friends.

Solitary. 567 Ddddddd2r 567

Solitary

What amongſt the ſociable Virgins?

Examination

Nay faith, Wives for the moſt part are more ſociable than Maids.

Exeunt.

Scene 11.

Enter the Lady Cenſurer, and a Gentleman.

Cenſurer

Sir, I hear you intend to be a Souldier in the Wars.

Gentleman

Yes Madam, I am come to take my leave, and to kiſs your Ladiſhips hands before I go.

Cenſurer

Sir you have choſen an honourable Profeſſion, for though it is an induſtrious, carefull, painfull, and dangerous Profeſſion, yet it is a noble Protection to the Weak and Infirm, to the decrepid Age, and ſhiftleſs Youth; to the faint and tender Female Sex; it is a guard to the aſhes of the Dead, and to the Temples of the Gods; for without Marſhal Diſcipline no Peace would be kept, Truth and Right would be torn from the owners. Juſtice pull’d out from her Seat, and Monarchy quite from his Throne, and though a Souldier may loſe his life ſooner than Nature did determine, yet in recompence, Honour buryes him, and Fame builds up his Monument.

Gentleman

Your deſcriptions Madam are able to make a Coward a Valiant Man.

Exeunt.

Scene 12.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1 Gent

Some have thought the World was but as Stage, and that the ſeveral Creatures are the ſeveral Actors, and that every ſeveral Generation is a new Play.

2 Gent

No every ſeveral Generation doth not ſeem as if they were new Plays; for there ſeems to be but one play, and that to continue to the end of the World, and that every Generation ſeems only new Actors, that play over the ſame parts, for we well perceive that the following Generations act but what the former Generations did before them; ’tis true the World ſeems to be the Stage, and the Seas, Rocks, Rivers, Plants, Hills, Dales, Cities, Towns, Villages, and the like, are as the ſeveral Changes, the Animals as the ſeveral Actors, the ſeveral Seaſons, the ſeveral Scenes, and the Spectators are the Gods, and the end of the World the end of the Play, and then they muſt make another World, if they will have another Play.

1 Gent

Surely Mercury is their Poet.

2 Gent

’Tis very likely, alſo ’tis probable Pallas helps him.

1 Gent

Nay ’tis probable that Venus and Cupid helps him, for Love and Beauty doth at all times aſſiſt a Poet.

2 Gent

There is no excellent and extraordinary wit, but hath many aſſiſtants,Ddddddd2 ſiſtants, 568 Ddddddd2v 568 ſiſtants, as firſt Nature is the chief, ſo likewiſe Mercury, Pallas, Venus, Cupid, and the Muſes.

1 Gent

The moſt fooliſh Actors of all Actors, are women.

2 Gent

The truth is, it ’tis very unhappy for women, that they are not inſtructed in the rules Rhethorick, by reaſon they talk ſo much, that they might talk ſenſibly, whereas now for want of that Art, they talk meer nonſenſe.

1 Gent

But all women are apt to ſpeak more than to Act, by reaſon words are eaſily ſpoke, and deeds ſo hard to be done.

2 Gent

Faith women are as full of Actions as words; for all their life is imployed with talking and running about to no purpoſe.

Exeunt.

Act IV.

Scene 13.

Enter the Lady Solitary, the Lady Examination, the Lady Cenſurer, and a Grave Matron.

Examination

Come let us go abroad, for I love to refreſh my ſelf in the Serene Ayr, taking the pleaſure of every Seaſon, as when the returning Sun ſp ins Golden Beams, which interwaves into the thiner Ayr, as Golden Threads with ſofter Silk, making it like a Mantle, Rich and warm, which wraps the Body of each Creature in; ſo in the Summer when lifferous winds do fan the ſultry heat; then in the Autum that’s like a temperate Bath, which is neither too hot nor too cold; then in the Winter, when freeſing cold doth purge the Ayr, as Phyſick doth the Body from moſt corrupt humours, and binds each looſe deſhevered part.

Cenſurer

The Winter will bind up your active limbs, and numb your fleſh, and make your Spirits chill, beſides Winter doth bedrid Nature, ’tis a ſpightfull malicious and wicked Seaſon, for it doth ſtrive for to deſtroy each ſeveral thing, and it yields nothing good it ſelf; beſides it doth Impriſon many things, binding them faſt with Icy Chains, taking away their Natural Liberty, alſo it doth not only frown, and lour on the bright Sun, making his light dim and dusky, but Winter doth untwiſt, and doth unweave the Suns bright Golden Beams, and wind them on dark bottoms.

Solitary

The cold ſharp ayr is as ſharp unto the touch, as a Lemon to the taſt, and works a-like in ſome effects.

Matron

Yes be’r Lady in cauſing frowning, and crumpling faces.

Solitary

Not only ſo, but ſharp Ayr, and ſharp Lemons, do both cleanſe from Putrification, and keep from Corruption.

Cenſurer

But hot Ayr works upon the Body, as ſtronge Liquors upon the Brain, for hot Ayr diſtempers the Body, as ſtrong Liquors do the Mind.

Matron

Beſhrow me, I have felt ſome Ayres as hot, and as burning, as Brandy-wine.

Solitary

What Wine is that?

Matron 569 Eeeeeee1r 569

Matron

The Wine of Wine, the Spirits of Wine.

Cenſurer

Indeed that Wine, if you call it ſo, which is Strong-waters, will work upon the Body as ſoon as the hotteſt Ayr, cauſing Feavours and other Malignant diſeaſes.

Examination

It ſeems that hot and burning Ayr, works upon the Spirits as much and as ſoon as the hotteſt Liquors, and hot Liquors upon the Body as much as hot Ayr, both cauſing Feavours and Frenzies.

Matron

In truth, and I heard that Ayr is liquid, and ſo is Drink, and Drunkards, like frantick perſons, will do mad tricks ſometimes.

Examination

And there are ſeveral ſorts of Ayr, as there are ſeveral ſorts of Drinks, ſome colder, ſome hotter, ſome moiſt, and ſome hath dry effects and ſome Ayr refreſhes and quenches heat, other ſome diſſipates and expels cold, ſome revives the Spirits, and ſome inrages them, ſome corrupts Bodyes, and ſome preſerves them.

Matron

By my Faith, I perceive Ayr and Drink have many good and bad qualities, but I had rather have good Drink and bad Ayr, than bad Drink and good Ayr, there is ſome ſubſtance in the one, but the other is like unto that which I have heard of but could never ſee, which is Incorporality; for that which is not ſubject to my ſight, I can hardly believe it is any thing.

Cenſurer

Indeed very thin Ayr is next unto nothing.

Exeunt.

Scene 14.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1 Gent

Tom. Adventurer is gone to be a Souldier.

2 Gent

Yes, and he may chance to get a glorious Fame.

1 Gent

But particular Fames are like particular Creatures, ſome dye and decay ſooner than others, but few live to old Neſtors years, and ſome lye Bedrid, and a great Company are decrepid and lame, others are croked and deformed from their Birth, and ſome by evill Fortune; and many are Orphans, and aboundance Baſtards and Changlings; and though War makes the lowdeſt noiſe in Fames Palace, yet Wit for the moſt part lives the longeſt therein; for Wit is ſuch a delightfull Company, and ſuch pleaſant paſtime, as old Father Time takes great care to preſerve it, lapping Wit warm in the Memory, and feeding it often with Reherſals.

Exeunt.

Scene 15.

Enter the Lady Examination, and the Lady Solitary.

Examination

Come, Come, you will never get you a real Lover, if you delight ſo much in Solitaries.

Solitary

I deſire none: for real Lovers do oftentimes prove unconſtant, Eeeeeee whereas 570 Eeeeeee1v 570 whereas feigned lovers are as conſtant as the Contemplator would have them, and as many as they would have; beſides, a crowd or multitude of thoughts may riſe up in the brain, and be as Spectators of one ſingle thought, which if the Contemplator pleaſes may be a Lover, and the reſt of the Spectators thoughts may cenſure of that ſingle thought, as of his good parts, or bad, his virtues, or vices, ſome may praiſe, others diſpraiſe, and the like; thus a Contemplator can never want Lovers, Admirers, Cenſurers, nor any other Company, ſince the Mind can preſent them with what thoughts they deſire, not only the thoughts of Men Women and Children, but of any other Creatures that Nature hath made; for why ſhould not our Spirits or Soul delight and content us, without the real poſſeſſion of outward Good, as well as the Spirits or Soul doth torment us with a real Evill? for why may not Opinion, or Fancy, as well and as much delight us, as Opinion and Fancy affright us, as they often do?

Examination

But an over-ſtudious Mind doth waſte the Body, for the Thoughts feeds as much upon the Body, as the Body upon the meat we eat, and the Body nouriſhes the Thoughts as much as meat nouriſhes the Body, and for the moſt part, as the Body is effected ſo is the Mind, for a diſtempered Body makes a diſtempered Mind, as a Luxurious Body makes an Amorous Mind; and a Feavour in the Body makes the mind frantick, for the heat of a Feavour is like Strong-water, it makes the Spirits drunk, the Thoughts dizie, and the Mind ſick.

Solitary

Indeed the Body and the Mind do moſt commonly agree, as in Monarchy the King and the Subjects do, the Subjects obeying the King, and the King commanding the Subjects, yet ſometimes the Subjects compel the King, and ſometimes the King forces the Subjects, ſo ſometimes the Appetite compels the Reaſon, at other times the Reaſon forces the Appetite to a Moderation, and ſometimes the Humours of the Body which are like the ſenceleſs Commonalty, and the Paſſions of the Soul, which are as the Nobles, oftentimes fall out, where ſometimes the Humours of the Body uſurp with an uprore the Paſſions of the Soul, and ſometimes the Paſſions overcome the Humours by a wiſe policy; but when as the Kingdome of Man is in Peace, the Imaginations in the head ſend down thoughts, as metal into the heart, wherein they are melted and minted into current Coin, each thought as each peece having a ſeveral ſtamp, ſome is ſtamped with Hate, ſome Spight, others Malice; ſome with Jealouſy, ſome Hope, ſome with Fear, ſome Pitty, ſome Love, but that of Love is of the higheſt vallew; but theſe Coins ſerve for Commerce and Traffick in the Body, from the Authority of the Mind or Soul, whoſe ſtamp or Image each piece bears.

Exeunt.

Scene 16.

Enter Sir William Admirer, and the Lady Peaceable.

Admirer

Dear Miſtriſs how I love you!

Peaceable

I wiſh I had Merits worthy your Affections.

Admirer

You are all a man can wiſh in women kind, for you are young, fair, virtuous, witty and wiſe.

Peaceable, 571 Eeeeeee2r 571

Peaceable

Alas all youth hath more follies than years, whereas thoſe that are old, have or ought to have more years than follies.

Admirer

You might be thought old by your ſpeech and actions, by reaſon you ſpeak ſo experienced, and act with ſuch prudence and diſcretion; wherefore I ſhould judge you were inſtructed by thoſe that are old, and knew much.

Peaceable

Indeed my Educators were Aged, and my Tutors, like as Painters, drew with the Pencil of the Tongue, and the Colours of Senſe, and the white of Truth, on the Platform of my Brain, many figurate diſcourſes for the Underſtanding to view, but my Underſtanding hath weak Eyes.

Admirer

Your Underſtanding neither wants ſight nor light, but the Lady Faction wants both, or elſe ſhe had not been ſo uncivil to you as ſhe was when I was with you laſt; were not you very Cholerick with her?

Peaceable

I am of too Melancholy a Nature to be very Cholerick.

Admirer

Why, are thoſe that are Melancholy never Cholerick?

Peaceable

I cannot ſay never, but yet very ſeldome, by reaſon they want that heat which makes Choler; for though the Spirits of Melancholy perſons may be as quick as thoſe that are Cholerick, yet they are not ſo fiery, for there is as much difference betwixt Melancholy and Choler, as freeſing and burning, the one contracts into a ſad ſilence, the other expulſes in blows, and many extravagant actions, and angry words; but thoſe perſons which are ſeldom angry, as all Melancholy perſons are, who are of a patitient, peaceable Nature, yet when they are angry are very angry; ſo thoſe perſons that are naturally Melancholy, that are ſeldome ſeen to be merry or to laugh, yet when they are merry, their mirth is ridiculous, and they will laugh extremely, as at nothing, or at any thing; ſo thoſe that are naturally Contemplative, when they do ſpeak, they ſpeak beyond all ſenſe and reaſon, their ſpeech flows like as a Torrent, rough and forceable; thus we may perceive that extremes one way run into extremes another way.

Admirer

I can truly witneſs that you are not apt to be angry, or at leaſt not to appear angry; for I did wonder at your humble behavior, civil anſwers, patient demeanors towards the Lady Faction.

Peaceable

I may ſuffer an injury patiently when I cannot avoid it, but I will never injure my ſelf in doing ſuch actions, or ſpeaking ſuch words as are unbefitting, unworthy and baſe.

Exeunt.

Act V.

Scene 17.

Enter the Lady Solitary, her Governeſs a Grave Matron, and a Gentleman as coming a Journey.

Matron

Pray Charge, thank this Gentleman for his gifts and favours to me.

Solitary

Governeſs, let me tell you, that they do themſelves a courteſy or Eeeeeee2 favour 572 Eeeeeee2v 572 favour that do a courteſy or favour to another; and therefore there needs no thanks.

Gentleman

But Lady you ought to thank me, for coming out of my way ſo far as I have done to ſee you.

Solitary

No truly, for if you came out of your way to ſee me, if it were for affection, it is a duty to Love, if for gratitude, it ’tis a duty to Obligation, if for civility, it ’tis a duty to Honour, if for Charity, it ’tis a duty to Heaven, and where a duty is due, the owner receives but his own when ’tis paid; wherefore it were a vain and extravagant civility, like unto madneſs, to give thanks for what is juſtly their own.

Gentleman

I do confeſs Lady I am yours, and therefore whatſoever I do, the beſt of my actions is due to you, and I repent for ſaying you ought to thank me for comming out of my way to ſee you, and I crave your pardon for my error, and ask forgiveneſs for my fault.

Solitary

I will forgive you, ſo I may be rid of you, for I love not Company but Solitarineſs.

Exeunt.

Scene 18.

Enter the Lady Gadder, the Lady Kindeling, and the Lady Bridlehead.

Bridlehead

Sir William Admirer is like Argus, ſtuck full of Eyes, but Sir William’s are the Eyes of fair Ladyes that gaze upon him.

Gadder

The truth is, when he is in the Company of our Sex, all the women gaze on him.

Kindeling

They may look if they pleaſe, and admire him, but I can aſſure them he loves and admires but one, which is the Lady Peaceable.

Gadder

Why, is he in love with the Lady Peaceable?

Kindeling

So much as he is to be married to her within two or three dayes.

Gadder

I thought he had loved the Lady Faction.

Kindling

No, no, for he denies that ever he had any Matrimonial love for her.

Bridlehead

Will they make a publick wedding?

No, ’tis ſaid the wedding will be kept private.

Exeunt.
Scene 573 Fffffff1r 573

Scene 19.

Enter the Lady Cenſurer, the Lady Examination, and the Lady Solitary.

Examination

Where have you been Lady Cenſurer?

Cenſurer

Faith at Court, amongſt a Company of Ladyes and their Gallants.

Examination

And what was their paſtime?

Cenſurer

Why Singing, Dancing, Laughing, and Jeſting; but I have earned an Angel amongſt them.

Examination

How prethee?

Cenſurer

Although not by the ſweat of my brows, yet by the expence of my Spirits.

Examination

Prethee tell.

Cenſurer

Why the Court Ladyes in a ſcornfull jeſting, for Courtiers love to put perſons out of Countenance if they can, prayed me to ſing an old Song out of a new Ballad, as knowing my voice fit for no better Songs; but I told them, that if I did ſing they ſhould pay me for my pains; for there was never a blind Beggar, or poor young Wench, that ſings at a door, but had ſomthing given them; they told me they would give me a penny, I anſwered, that when they ſung to Gentlemen or Ladyes guts, that they had a ſhilling at leaſt given them, and unleſs they would give me twelvepence apiece, I would not ſing; ſo they out of a laughing ſport, borrowed a Crown of the Gentlemen to give me.

Solitary

Oh that’s the Court faſhion, for the women to borrow of the men.

Cenſurer

How ſhould they live if they did not ſo? for in my Conſcience they could not have made up twelve pence amongſt a douzen of them, not in money; for their Clothes though coſtly and rich, yet are worn upon truſt; but as I ſaid, I was to ſing them a Song for my money; ſo I ſung them an old Song, the burden of the Song, Oh women, women, monſtrous women, what do you mean for to do? but becauſe the Song was againſt women, they would have had me given them their money back again, I told them no I would not, for it was lawfull gain for me to keep it, ſince I gained it by an honeſt induſtry, and that thoſe that made a bargain muſt ſtick to it; then they told me, that if I would ſing them a good old Song, they would give me another Crown; I told them I would have the money in hand, for fear they ſhould diſlike my Song when I had ſung it, or at leaſt ſeem to diſlike it, to ſave their money; ſo although they were loth, yet at laſt they borrowed another Crown to give me, thinking it did diſgrace me, in that my voyce was fit for nothing but old Ballads, for all their Admirers, and Courtly Servants, or Servants for Courtſhip were with them; ſo then I ſung them Doctor Fauſtus that gave his Soul away to the Devill; for I knew Conjurers and Devills pleaſed women beſt.

Examination

They fright women.

Cenſurer

By your favour, all Conjurers gain more by womens coming to them to know their Fortunes, and for to find out loſses, than they do by men; for where one man goeth to a Conjurer or Fortune-teller, their goeth a Fffffff hundred 574 Fffffff1v 574 hundred women; but as I have told you, I ſung the Song of Doctor Fauſtus.

Solitary

For my part, I had rather hear a plain old Song, than any Italian, or French Love Songs ſtuff’d with Trilloes.

Cenſurer

That’s ſtrange, when as in thoſe Harmonious songs the wiſeſt Poets, and skillfull’ſt Muſicians, are joyned to make up one song, and the moſt excellent voices are choſen to ſing them.

Solitary

I know not, but I am ſooner weary to hear a famous and Artificial Singer ſing than they are themſelves with ſinging, for I hate their Quavers, demy, and ſemy Quavers, their Minnums, Crochets, and the like.

Examination

The truth is, I have obſerved that when an old Ballad is plainly ſung, moſt hearers will liſſen with more delight, than to Italian and French Singers, although they ſing with art and skill.

Solit

The moſt famous ſinger in theſe latter times I have heard in France , it was a woman, and an Italian ſent for into France, where ſhe was preſented with very rich gifts for her rare ſinging, yet I durſt a-laid my life for a wager, that there were more that could have taken more delight to hear an old Ballad ſung, which Ballads are true ſtories put into verſes and ſet to a Tune, than in all there Italian and French Love whining Songs, and languiſhing tunes.

Examination

Well, but what will you do with your gettings?

Cenſurer

Faith I will go home and conſider, and the next time I will tell you how I will imploy my ten ſhillings.

Exeunt.

Scene 20.

Enter two Gentlemen.

1 Gent

What makes you Booted and Spurred, are you going out of the town?

2 Gent

Yes faith, I am going to a wedding, Swich and Spur.

1 Gent

What, art thou going to be married?

2 Gent

No, I am not ſo haſty, for though I can ſpur to another mans wedding, I cannot be ſpurred to my own.

1 Gent

Whoſe wedding are you riding to?

2 Gent

To Sir William Admirers, and the Lady Peaceable.

1 Gent

Faith their names and marriage do diſagree; for never did Husband after the firſt Month Admire his Wife, nor a Wife after two Months live Peaceably.

Exeunt.
Scene 575 Fffffff2r 575

Scene 21.

Enter the Lady Solitary, the Lady Examination, and the Lady Cenſurer.

Examination

How have you imployed the ten ſhillings got by ſinging?

Cenſurer

I muſt tell you, I have been extremely troubled how to imploy it, inſomuch as my Mind hath never been at reſt; for their hath been ſuch arguing and diſputing and contradiction amongſt my Thoughts, as I did verily believe there would have been a mutiny in my head: for firſt I did reſolve to put my ten ſhillings to pious uſes, and then I thought to build ſome Alms Houſes, as building one long room like a Gallery, making in it ſeveral Partitions, and the outward dores all a-like; theſe Houſes, or rather partitioned rooms, for poor old and infirm perſons, that could not work nor beg for their livelyhood, to live in; but when I had well conſidered, that when I had built my Alms Houſes, which is as I ſaid one long Room divided by Partitions, I ſhould have nothing left to maintain them, and they to have only Houſe-room, and have neither Meat, Drink, Clothes, nor Firing to feed them and to keep them from the injuries of the cold, having neither Fires nor Beds, I thought the Pariſh wherein they were Born, would better provide for them, ſo that inſtead of praying for me, they would Curſe me; beſides I conſidered, that after I was dead, had I means to leave an allowance, yet when it came for the Magiſtrates to chuſe, thoſe that ſhould be put in they would leave out, and chuſe idle young Huſwives, or foul Sluts to dwell therein, ſuch as thoſe Magiſtrates would viſit ſometimes, to ſee what they did want, ſo as I let that deſign paſs; then I thought to build a Church, and much were my thoughts concerned, whether the Roof ſhould be flat, or vaulted, or ſloping; but after I had reſolved how the Roof ſhould be; and where the Belfrey and Queſt-room, I was ſore perplex’d in my Mind, as where or how to place the Pulpit, whether at the Eaſt or Weſt end, or at a Corner in the Church, or at one of the ſides of the Church cloſe by the Wall, but at laſt I reſolved it ſhould be placed in the midſt of the Church, in the very Centre, that the voice of the Miniſter might ſpread round to the Circumference, ſo as all the Congregation might hear him; but when I conſidered that when my Church was buuilt there was neither Benefices, Lands, nor Tithes, nor any allowance for the Miniſter, and that there was none that did or will preach meerly for Gods ſake, but for gains ſake, as to have a maintenance thereby, or ſome advancement therefrom, I deſiſted from that deſign; then I thought to build a Bedlam, and be the Keeper my ſelf, but I conſidered that if any of the mad folkes ſhould get looſe, they might kill me, beſides they ſtink ſo horribly, and require ſo much cleanſing, not being capable of keeping themſelves clean, as I reſolved not to go forward with that deſign; then I thought to build a free School, and I to be the chief Tutoreſs my ſelf, but when I remembered the confuſed noiſe the Scholars make reading all at once, that neither I could hear nor they underſtand what they read, I thought it would be to no purpoſe, becauſe the Scholars would profit but little by their reading, and then I ſhould be thought an ignorant Tutoreſs; at laſt I thought to give my ten ſhillings to the poor Beggars, but when I conſidered that Alms that was given to Beggars did more harm than good, Fffffff2 cauſing 576 Fffffff2v 576 cauſing them to be idle and lazy, and incouraged them to go roving and Roguing about, I chang’d my Mind from that Act, but finding I could not imploy my ten ſhillignngs in any pious Act, I thought to imploy it in ſomething to be remembred by, as for Fame, whereupon I reſolved to build a Pyramide or Croſs, the Pyramide to be vaſtly high, and the Croſs to be gloriouſly gilt, but then fearing a Rebellion, and knowing that in a Rebellion a Confuſed and ſuperſtitious rout, would certainly pull them down to the ground, and that when the Croſs or Pyramide was down, I ſhould be utterly forgottten, I deſiſted from that deſign; ſo finding as little imployment for my money to any famous act as to any pious uſe, I reſolved to imploy it to my profit, ſo then I had a deſign to ſet up a Shop of ſmall wares, but when I conſidered how dead Trading was, and how faſt Tradeſmen did break, and inſtead of being inriched became poorer than when firſt they begun, for to ſet up a Trade requires ſome ſtock, but when they break, they have not only loſt their ſtock, but owe more than ever their ſtock was, ſo I went from that deſign; then I intended to buy me a parcell of Land with my ten ſhillings, but hearing there was much danger in buying of Land, for that many have morgaged their Lands to one, and ſold them to another, or by an old Deed that hath layen in ſome old Trunck, Desk, or Box, which may be brought forth to claim the Land again, ſo as I muſt be forced to go to Law for my land I bought, which would coſt me more than my Lands, beſides the infinite pains and trouble in following my Law Sute, and vext with querkes, and quillets Lawyers find to prolong the Sute, or elſe I muſt let my Land go, ſo loſe it, finding this, I thought to put my money out to uſe, but then I conſidered that firſt I had only a piece of Parchment for my money, beſides, it is a general rule that few or none take up money at uſe, but thoſe that are Banckrouts, and when they had once got my money into their hands, I ſhould neither get Uſe or Principal, for ſhould I Impriſon them, I ſhould be never the neerer to get my money, for where there is nothing to be had, ſayes the old Proverb, the King muſt loſe his right; after this I intended to build a Ship, and Traffick with it on the Seas, but then conſidering the Various Winds, the Tempeſtuous Storms, the rough Seas, the lurking Sands, the dreadfull Rocks, the gaping Flouds that might ſplit and ſwallow my Ship, and be drowned my ſelf, I was reſolved not to follow that deſign; then I thought to buy a place at Court, but when I conſidered how I muſt cringe and creep, flatter, rail, and be factious, and at laſt the expences at Court would be more than the profit of my place, by which I ſhould become a Beggar, or at leaſt a Shark, I left off that deſign; but after all theſe conſiderations I concluded with my ſelf that the moſt profitableſt way to imploy my ten ſhillings was to build a Bawdy-houſe, for I was ſure that as ſoon as ever it was built Cuſtomers would reſort thereunto; beſides it was the moſt certain gain that was, without any expences, whereas all other Trades or Profeſſions require means or ſtocks to begin with, whereas in theſe Profeſſions or Trade the pooreſt may ſet up without borrowing or begging, for a ſtock to begin with; neither can alterations of times ruin it, for in all times whether Peace or Wars, and in all Nations, this Trade never fails, whereunto if you pleaſe to come Ladyes, you ſhall be very welcome.

Solitary

It will not agree with my humour, for I love Solitarineſs, and there will be too much Company.

Cenſurer

There may be a great reſort, but their Converſation is by ſingle Couples.

Examination. 577 Ggggggg1r 577

Examination

You are a wag Lady Cenſurer.

Exeunt.

Scene 22.

Enter four Gentlemen.

1 Gent

If I were to chuſe a Wife, I would chuſe the Lady Solitary.

2 Gent

Why?

1 Gent

Becauſe thoſe that are Solitary love not much Company, and being alone love not much noiſe, and loving no noiſe, love ſilence, and loving ſilence, love not to talk, ſo as in having of her, I ſhall have a Solitary, Peaceable, Quiet, Silent Wife.

3 Gent

And if I were to chuſe, I would chuſe the Lady Cenſurer, for ſhe would let nothing paſs her judgment: for ſhe will give her opinion of all things, perſons, and actions; ſo in having her to my Wife, I ſhould have a general Intelligencer, or at leaſt her opinion of all things.

2 Gent

But if her Judgment were not good, her opinion would be erronious.

3 Gent

I care not, it would ſerve to paſs an idle time with.

4 Gent

And if I might chuſe, I would chuſe the Lady Examination for a Wife.

2 Gent

Why?

4 Gent

Becauſe ſhe knows moſt humours and paſſages of every body, and their affairs, ſo by her I ſhould be entertained with news from all places, as of all actions done, opinions held, words ſpoke, or thoughts thought.

2 Gent

I would I could have my wiſh as eaſily, as you might have your choice.

1 Gent

What would you wiſh?

2 Gent

I would wiſh to be unmarried, for if I were, I would never be troubled with a Wife again; but let me adviſe you, for I love to have married Companions, that you three ſhould go a woing to thoſe three Ladyes, they cannot nor will not deny your Sute, being all three of you rich, young and handſome.

All three

We will take your Counſel.

Exeunt.

Finis.

Ggggggg The