A1r A1v
A drawing room containing a female figure surrounded by two male figures.

F. LaVergnedel

M.V. Guches

A2r

The
Wonder:
A

Woman keeps a Secret.

A
Comedy.

As it is Acted at the
Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane.
By Her Majesty’s Servants.

Written by the Author of the Gamester.

London:
Printed for E. Curll, at the Dial and Bible, against
St. Dunstan’s Church in Fleet-street, and A Bettesworth
at the Red Lyon, on London-Bridge. 17141714.

A2v A3r

To
His Serene Highness
George Augustus,
Electoral Prince of Hanover,
Duke and Marquess
of Cambridge
, Earl
of Milford-Haven
, Viscount
North-Allerton
,
Baron of Tewksbury, and
Knight of the most Noble
Order of the Garter.

May it please your Highness,

This Dedication,
which I always intended
to Address to
your Highness, and which 5IA3v
I was in hopes might have
Congratulated you upon your
being in England, must
now wait for your Arrival.
I am sure I speak
the Sense of every honest
Briton, when I say that
we expect it with the utmost
Impatience.

Your Highness, who has
been hitherto a Stranger among
us, cannot easily conceive
the Confidence we repose
in you; and it will,
perhaps, hardly be believ’d
in future Ages, that the
first Report of the Duke ofA4r
of Cambridge’s
Design to
Visit us, should raise the
Publick Credit of the
British Nation.

We are fill’d with Pleasure,
to think that the most
accomplish’d of Princes will
perfect himself in the Arts
of Government under the
Eye, and Direction of the
Greatest of Queens.

If it is possible there
shou’d be a Sett of Men
among us who can wish to
see their Country become a
Province of France, it is,
I think, pretty evident that yourA4v
your Residence in Great-
Britain
will soon put an
End to such Impious Expectations.

The Law of Nature
makes it not improbable
that you will one Day reign
over us, and what may not
our Posterity expect from a
Prince who in his early
Years distinguish’d himself
in the Cause of Liberty, and
led their Ancestors on to
Victory? The Balance of
Europe will doubtless be
kept steady by that Hand
which has already perform’d suchA5r
such Wonders in order to
maintain it; our Religion,
our Laws, and Civil Rites
can be in no Danger under a
Prince, who from his Conversation
with our Nobility,
and his Presence at their
most important Debates, will
have a perfect Insight into
all the Parts of our Constitution.

Britain shall from henceforward
claim your Highness
intirely as her own, and
endeavour by the most convincing
Proofs of her Love
and Respect, to make you for-A5v
forget the Court of your Illustrious
Father.

The Pains you have already
taken to acquire our
Tongue, cannot fail to endear
you to every Englishman;
yet as the Idioms of a Language
are the last Things we
arrive at, I am in hopes an
English Comedy will not be
thought the most improper
Present that could be offer’d
to your Highness.

There is no doubt but you
will soon be made the Subject
of more Correct Pens,
and receive a just Tribute fromA6r
from the greatest Authors of
our Nation: In the mean
Time, tho’ I am, perhaps, the
most unworthy, I have at
least one Advantage, that I
am the first who have shewn
my Respect in this Manner,
and sued for your Protection.

I am yourHighness’s
Most Obedient,
Most Devoted,
Most Humble Servant

Susanna Cent Livre.

A6v

Preface.

I don’t pretend to write a Preface, either to
point out the Beauties, or to excuse the Errors,
a judicious Reader may possibly discover
in the following Scenes, but to give those excellent
Comedians their Due, to whom, in some
Measure the best Dramatick Writers are oblig’d.
The Poet and the Player are like Soul
and Body, indispensibly necessary to one another;
the correct Author makes the Player
shine, whilst the judicious Player makes the Poet’s
Fame immortal. I freely acknowledge
my self oblig’d to the Actors in general, and
to Mr. Wilks, and Mrs. Oldfield in particular;
and I owe them this Justice to say, That their
inimitable Action cou’d only support a Play
at such a Season, and among so many Benefits.
Let this encourage our English Bards to Write,
furnish but the artful Player with Materials,
and his Skill will lay the Foundation for your
Fame.

I must again repeat that which I meet with
every where, I mean the just Admiration of
the Performance of Mr. Wilks, and Mrs. Oldfield,
and own that they much out-did in
Action the strongest of my Conceptions; for
tho’ Nature was my Aim in the last Act of
this Comedy, yet Nature herself were she to
paint a Love Quarrel, wou’d only Copy them.

Pro-
A7r

Prologue
Spoken by Mr. Mills.

Mr. Mills[Speaker label not present in original source]

Our Author fears the Criticks of the Stage,

Who like Barbarians, spare nor Sex, nor Age;

She trembles at those Censors in the Pit,

Who think good Nature shows a want of Wit:

Such Malice, Oh, what Muse can undergo it?

To save themselves, they always Damn the Poet.

Our Author flies from such a Partial Jury,

As wary Lovers from the Nymphs of Drury:

To the few Candid Judges for a Smile,

She humbly sues to Recompence her Toil.

To the bright Circlet of the Fair, she next,

Commits her Cause, with Anxious Doubts perplext.

Where can she with such hopes of Favour kneel,

As to those Judges, who her Frailties feel?

A few Mistakes, her Sex may well excuse,

And such a Plea, No Woman shou’d refuse:

If she succeeds, a Woman gains Applause,

What Female but must favour such a Cause.

Her Faults,――If such there be:――Then,――pass ’em by,

And only on her Beauties fix your Eye.

In Plays, like Vessels floating on the Sea,

There’s none so Wise to know their Destiny.

In this, howe’er the Pilot’s Skill appears,

While by the Stars his constant Course he steers;

In this our Author does her Judgment shew,

That for her Safety she relies on You.

Your Approbation Fair ones, can’t but move,

Those stubborn Hearts, which first you taught to Love:

The Men must all Applaud this Play of ours,

For who dares See with other Eyes, than Yours?

Dramatis
A7v

Dramatis Personæ.

Men.

Don Lopez, a Grandee of Portugal. Mr. Norris.

Don Felix, his Son, in love with
Violante.
Mr. Wilks.

Frederick, A Merchant. Mr. Bickerstaff.

Don Pedro, Father to Violante. Mr. Bullock, Jun.

Colonel Britton, A Scotchman. Mr. Mills.

Gibby, His Footman. Mr. Bullock, Sen.

Lissardo, Servant to Felix. Mr. Pack.

Women.

Donna Violante, designed for a Nun by
her Father, in Love with Felix.
Mrs. Oldfield.

Donna Isabella, Sister to Felix. Mrs. Santlow.

Flora, Her Maid. Mrs. Cox.

Inis, Maid to Violante. Mrs. Saunders.

Alguzil,

Attendants,

Servants, &c.

Scene Lisbon

B1r

The
Wonder
:
A
Woman keeps a Secret.

Act I.Scene I.

Enter Don Lopez meeting Frederick.

Frederick

My. Lord Don Lopez.

D. Lop.

How do you Frederick?

Fred.

At your Lordship’s Service, I
am glad to see you look so well my
Lord, I hope Antonio is out of danger.

D. Lop.

Quite contrary, his Feaver increases they
tell me, and the Surgeons are of Opinion his wound
is mortal.

B Fred. B1v 2

Fred.

Your Son Don Felix is safe I hope.

D. Lop.

I hope so too, but they offer large Rewards
to apprehend him.

Fred.

When heard your Lordship from him?

D. Lop.

Not since he went, I forbad him writing
till the publick News gave him an Account of Antonio’s
Health, Letters might be intercepted, and the
place of his Abode discovered.

Fred.

Your Caution was good my Lord; tho’ I am
impatient to hear from Felix, yet his Safety is my chief
Concern. Fortune has maliciously struck a Bar between
us in the Affairs of Life, but she has done me
the Honour to unite our Souls.

D. Lop.

I am not ignorant of the friendship between
my Son and You, I have heard him commend your
Morals and lament your want of noble Birth.

Fred.

That’s Nature’s fault my Lord, ’tis some comfort
not to owe ones Misfortunes to ones Self, yet ’tis impossible
not to regret the want of noble Birth.

D. Lop.

’Tis pity indeed such excellent Parts as you
are Master of, should be eclipsed by mean Extraction.

Fred.

Such Commendation wou’d make me vain my
Lord, did you not cast in the allay of my Extraction.

D. Lop.

There is no Condition of Life without its
Cares, and it is the Perfection of a Man to wear ’em as
easie as he can; this unfortunate Duel of my Son’s does
not pass without Impression. But since ’tis past Prevention,
all my Concern is now, how he may escape the
Punishment; if Antonio dies, Felix shall for England.
You have been there, what sort of People are the EngLish?

Fred.

My Lord, the English are by Nature, what the
ancient Romans were by Discipline, coragious, bold,
hardy, and in love with Liberty. Liberty is the Idol
of the English, under whose Banner all the Nation
lists, give but the Word for Liberty, and straight
more armed Legions wou’d appear, than France and
Philip keep in constant Pay.

D. Lop. B2r 3

D. Lop.

I like their Principles; who does not wish
for Freedom in all Degrees of Life? Tho’ common
Prudence sometimes makes us act against it, as I am
now obliged to do, for I intend to marry my Daughter
to Don Guzman, whom I expect from Holland every
Day, whither he went to take Possession of a large
Estate left him by his Uncle.

Fred.

You will not sure Sacrifice the lovely Isabella
to Age, Avarice, and a Fool, pardon the Expression
my Lord, but my Concern for your beauteous Daughter
transports me beyond that good Manners which I ought
to pay your Lordship’s presence.

D. Lop.

I can’t deny the justness of the Character
Frederick; but you are not insensible what I have suffered
by these Wars, and he has two things which render
him very agreeable to me for a Son-in-Law, he is Rich
and well Born; as for his being a Fool, I don’t conceive
how that can be any Blot in a Husband, who is already
possess’d of a good Estate.――A Poor Fool indeed
is a very Scandalous thing, and so are your Poor Wits,
in my Opinion, who have nothing to be vain of, but
the inside of their Sculls; now for Don Guzman I
know I can rule him, as I think fit; this is acting the
Politick part, Frederick, without which, it is impossible
to keep up the Port of this Life.

Fred.

But have you no Consideration for your
Daughter’s welfare my Lord?

D. Lop.

Is a Husband of twenty thousand Crowns a
Year, no Consideration? Now I think it a very good
Consideration.

Fred.

One way, my Lord. But what will the World
say of such a Match?

D. Lop.

Sir, I value not the World a Button.

Fred.

I cannot think your Daughter can have any
Inclination for such a Husband.

D. Lop.

There I believe you are pretty much in the
right, tho’ it is a Secret, which I never had the CuriosityB2sity B2v4
to enquire into, nor I believe ever shall—Inclination
quotha! Parents would have a fine time on’t, if
they consulted their Childrens Inclinations! I’ll venture
you a Wager, that in all the Garrison Towns in
Spain and Portugal, during the late War, there were
not three Women, who have not had an Inclination
to every Officer in the whole Army; does it therefore
follow, that their Fathers ought to Pimp for them?
No, no, Sir, it is not a Father’s business to follow his
Children’s Inclinations till he makes himself a Beggar.

Fred.

But this is of another Nature my Lord.

D. Lop.

Look ye Sir, I resolve she shall Marry Don
Guzman
the Moment he arrives; tho’ I cou’d not govern
my Son, I will my Daughter, I assure you.

Fred.

This Match my Lord, is more preposterous than
that which you proposed to your Son, from whence arose
this fatal――Quarrel, Don Antonio’s Sister Elvira,
wanted Beauty only, but Guzman every thing, but――

D. Lop.

Money—and that will purchase every thing,
and so Adieu.

Exit.

Fred.

Monstrous! These are the Resolutions which
destroy the comforts of Matrimony—he is Rich, and
well born, powerful Arguments indeed! Could I but
add them to the Friendship of Don Felix, what might
I not hope? But a Merchant and a Grandee of Spain,
are inconsistent Names――Lissardo! From whence come
you?

Enter Lissardo in a Riding Habit.

Liss.

That Letter will inform you Sir.

Fred.

I hope your Master’s safe.

Liss.

I left him so, I have another to deliver which
requires――haste――Your most humble Servant Sirbowing.

Fred.

To Violante, I suppose.

Liss.

The same.

Exit. Fred. B3r 5

Fred.

Reads Dear Frederick, the two chief Blessings
of this Life are a Friend, and a Mistress; to be
debarred the sight of those is not to live. I hear nothing
of Antonio’s Death, therefore resolve to venture
to thy House this Evening, impatient to see Violante,
and embrace my Friend. Yours, Felix.

Pray Heaven he comes undiscover’d――ha! Colonel
Britton
!

Enter Colonel Britton in a Riding Habit.

Col.

Frederick, I rejoice to see thee.

Fred.

What brought you to Lisbon Colonel?

Col.

La Fortune de la Guerre, as the French say, I
have commanded these Three last Years in Spain, but
my Country has thought fit to strike up a Peace, and
give us good Protestants leave to hope for Christian
Burial, so I resolve to take Lisbon in my way home.

Fred.

If you are not provided of a Lodging Colonel,
pray command my House, while you stay.

Col.

If I were sure I should not be troublesome, I
wou’d accept your offer, Frederick.

Fred.

So far from trouble Colonel, I shall take it as
a particular Favour, what have we here?

Col.

My Footman, this is our Country Dress you
must know, which for the Honour of Scotland, I make
all my Servants wear.

Enter Gibby in a High-land Dress.

Gib.

What mun I de with the Horses, an like yer
Honour, they will tack cold gin, they stand in the
Causway.

Fred.

Oh! I’ll take Care of them, what hoa Vasquez. Enter Vasquez,
put those Horses which that honest Fellow will show
you into my Stable, do you hear? And feed them
well.

B3 Vas. B3v 6

Vas.

Yes Sir.――Sir, by my Master’s Order, I am
Sir, your most obsequious humble Servant. Be pleas’d
to lead the Way.

bowing.

Gib.

S’bled gang yer gat Sir, and I sall follow yee:
Ise tee hungry to feed on Compliments.

Exit.

Fred.

Ha, ha, a comical Fellow.――Well, how do
you like our Country, Colonel?

Col.

Why Faith Frederick, a Man might pass his
Time agreeably enough with Inside of a Nunnery; but
to behold such Troops of soft, plump, tender melting,
wishing, nay willing Girls too, thro’ a damn’d Grate,
gives us Brittons strong Temptation to Plunder. Ah
Frederick, your Priests are wicked Rogues. They immure
Beauty for their own proper Use, and show it only
to the Laity to create Desires, and inflame Accompts,
that they may purchase Pardons at a dearer Rate.

Fred.

I own Wenching is something more difficult
here than in England, where Womens Liberties are
subservient to their Inclinations, and Husbands seem
of no Effect but to take Care of the Children which
their Wives provide.

Col.

And does Restraint get the better of Inclination
with your Women here? No, I’ll be sworn not
even in fourscore. Don’t I know the Constitution of
the Spanish Ladies?

Fred.

And of all Ladies where you come, Colonel,
you were ever a Man of Gallantry.

Col.

Ah Frederick, the Kirk half starves us Scotchmen.
We are kept so sharp at home, that we feed
like Cannibals abroad. Hark ye, hast thou never a
pretty Acquaintance now, that thou wouldst consign
over to a Friend for half an Hour, ha?

Fred.

Faith Colonel, I am the worst Pimp in Christendom,
you had better trust to your own Luck, the
Women will soon find you out I warrant you.

Col.

Ay, but it is dangerous forraging in an Enemy’s
Country, and since I have some hopes of seeing myB4r7
my own again, I had rather purchase my Pleasure,
than run the hazard of a Stilletto in my Guts. ’Egad,
I think I must e’en Marry and Sacrifice my Body for
the good of my Soul, wilt thou recommend me to a
Wife then, one that is willing to exchange her Moyders
English Liberty; ha Friend,

Fred.

She must be very handsome I suppose.

Col.

The handsomer the better――but be sure she has
a Nose.

Fred.

Ay, ay and some Gold.

Col.

Oh, very much Gold, I shall never be able to
swallow the Matrimonial Pill, if it be not well Gilded.

Fred.

Puh, Beauty will make it slide down nimbly

Col.

At first perhaps it may, but the Second or
Third Dose will choak me—I confess Frederick, Women
are the prettiest Play-things in Nature, but Gold,
substantial Gold, gives ’em the Air, the Mien, the
Shape, the Grace, and the Beauty of a Goddess.

Fred.

And has not Gold the same Divinity in their
Eyes Colonel?

Col.

Too often.――Money is the very God of Marriage,
the Poets dress him in a Saffron Robe, by which
they Figure out the golden Deity, and his lighted
Torch blazons those mighty Charms, which encourage
us to List under his Banner.

None marry now for Love, no, that’s a Jest,

The self same Bargain, serves for Wife, and Beast.

Fred.

You are always gay Colonel, come shall we
take a refreshing Glass at my House, and consider what
has been said.

Col.

I have two or three Compliments to discharge
for some Friends, and then I shall wait on you with
Pleasure: Where do you live?

B4 Fred. B4v 8

Fred.

At yon Corner House with the green Rails.

Col.

In the close of the Evening I will endeavour
to kiss your Hand. Adieu.

Exit.

Fred.

I shall expect you with impatience.

Exit. Enter Isabella and Inis her Maid.

Inis.

For goodness sake Madam, where are you going
in this Pet.

Isab.

Any where to avoid Matrimony; the thoughts
of a Husband is as terrible to me as the sight of a Hobgoblin.

Inis.

Ay, of an old Husband, but if you might chuse
for your self, I fancy Matrimony wou’d be no such
frightful Thing to you.

Isab.

You are pretty much in the right, Inis; but to
be forc’d into the Arms of an Ideot, a sneaking, snivling,
drivling, avaricious Fool, who has neither Person
to please the Eye, Sense to charm the Ear, nor generosity
to supply those Defects, ah Inis! What pleasant
Lives Women lead in England, where Duty wears
no Fetter but Inclination: The Custom of our Country
inslaves us from our very Cradles, first to our Parents,
next to our Husbands; and when Heaven is so
kind to rid us of both these, our Brothers still usurp
Authority, and expect a blind Obedience from us, so
that Maids, Wives, or Widows, we are little better
than Slaves to the Tyrant Man, therefore to avoid their
Power, I resolve to cast my self into a Monastery.

Inis.

That is, you’ll cut your own Throat to avoid
another’s doing it for you. Ah Madam, those Eyes tell
me you have no Nuns flesh about you; a Monastery
quotha! Where you’ll wish your self in the Green-Sickness
in a Month.

Isab.

What care I, there will be no Man to plague
me.

Inis.

No, nor what’s much worse, to please you neitherB5r9
neither—Ad’slife Madam, you are the First Woman
that e’er dispair’d in a Christian Country—Were I in
your Place—

Isab.

Why what wou’d your Wisdom do if you were?

Inis.

I’de imbark with the first fair Wind with all my
Jewels, and seek my Fortune on t’other side the Water;
no Shoar can treat you worse than your own;
there’s ne’er a Father in Christendom should make me
marry any Man against my Will.

Isab.

I am too great a Coward to follow your Advice.
I must contrive some way to avoid Don Guzman,
and yet stay in my own Country.

Enter Don Lopez.

Lop.

Must you so, Mistress, but I shall take Care to
prevent you. (Aside.) Isabella, whether are you going
my Child?

Isab.

Ha! my Father! To Church, Sir.

Inis.

The old Rogue has certainly over-heard her.

Aside.

Lop.

Your Devotion must needs be very strong, or
your Memory very weak; my Dear, why, Vespers are
over for this Night; come, come, you shall have a better
Errand to Church than to say your Prayers there.
Don Guzman is arriv’d in the River, and I expect him
ashore to Morrow.

Isab.

Ha, to Morrow!

Lop.

He writes me Word, That his Estate in Holland
is worth 12000 Crowns a Year, which, together with
what he had before, will make thee the happiest Wife
in Lisbon.

Isab.

And the most unhappy Woman in the World.
Oh Sir! If I have any Power in your Heart, if the tenderness
of a Father be not quite extinct, hear me with
Patience.

Lop.

No Objections against the Marriage, and I will
hear whatever thou hast to say.

B5 Isab. B5v 10

Isab.

That’s torturing me on the Rack, and forbidding
me to Groan; upon my Knees I claim the
Priviledge of Flesh and Blood.

Kneels.

Lop.

I grant it, thou shalt have an Arm full of Flesh
and Blood to Morrow; Flesh and Blood quotha, Heaven
forbid I should deny thee Flesh and Blood, my
Girl.

Inis.

Here’s an old Dog for you.

Isab.

Do not mistake, Sir, the fatal Stroak which seperates
Soul and Body, is not more terrible to the
Thoughts of Sinners, than the Name of Guzman to
my Ears.

Lop.

Puh, puh; you Lye, you Lye.

Isab.

My frighted Heart beats hard against my Breast,
as if it sought a Passage to your Feet, to beg you’d
change your Purpose.

Lop.

A very pretty Speech this, if it were turn’d into
blank Verse, it would serve for a Tragedy; why, thou
hast more Wit than I thought thou hadst, Child.――I
fancy this was all extempore, I don’t believe thou did’st
ever think of one Word on’t before.

Inis.

Yes, but she has, my Lord, for I have heard her
say the same Things a thousand Times.

Lop.

How, how, What do you top your second
Hand Jests upon your Father, Hussy, who knows betther
what’s good for you than you do your self; remember
’tis your Duty to Obey.

Isab.

Rising I never disobey’d before, and wish I
had not Reason now; but Nature has got the better of
my Duty, and makes me loath the harsh Commands you
lay.

Lop.

Ha, ha, very fine! Ha, ha.

Isab.

Death it self wou’d be more welcome.

Lop.

Are you sure of that?

Isab.

I am your Daughter, my Lord, and can boast
as strong a Resolution as your self; I’ll die before I’ll
marry Guzman.

Lop. B6r 11

Lop.

Say you so, I’ll try that presently.Draws.
Here let me see with what Dexterity you can breath a
Vein now, offers her his Sword. The Point is pretty
sharp, ’twill do your Business I warrant you.

Inis.

Bless me, Sir, What do you mean to put a Sword
into the Hands of a desperate Woman?

Lop.

Desperate, ha, ha, ha, you see how desperate
she is, what art thou frighted little Bell. ha!

Isab.

I confess I am startled at your Morals, Sir.

Lop.

Ay, ay, Child, thou hadst better take the Man,
he’ll hurt thee the least of the two.

Isab.

I shall take neither, Sir, Death has many Doors,
and when I can live no longer with Pleasure, I shall
find one to let him in at without your aid.

Lop.

Say’st thou so, my dear Bell. Ods, I’m afraid
thou art a little Lunatick Bell. I must take Care of thee,
Child, takes hold of her, and pulls out of his Pocket a
Key.
I shall make bold to secure thee, my Dear: I’ll
see if Locks and Bars can keep thee tiil Guzman comes;
go, get you into your Chamber.

There I’ll your boasted Resolution try,

And see who’ll get the better, you or I,

pushes her in, and locks the Door.
Act II.
B6v 12

Act II.

Scene, a Room in Don Pedro’s House.

Enter Donna Violante reading a Letter, and Flora
following.

Flora

What must that Letter be read again?

Vio.

Yes, and again, and again, and again,
a thousand Times again, a Letter from a faithful Lover
can ne’er be read too often; it speaks such kind, such
soft, such tender Things――

Kisses it.

Flo.

But always the same Language.

Vio.

It does not charm the less for that.

Flo.

In my Opinion nothing charms that does not
change; and any Composition of the four and Twenty
Letters, after the first Essay, from the same Hand, must
be dull, except a Bank Note, or a Bill of Exchange.

Vio.

Thy Taste is my Aversion―― Reads. My all
that’s charming, since Life’s not Life exil’d from thee
this Night shall bring me to thy Arms. Frederick and
thee are all I trust: These six Weeks absence has been
in Love’s Accompt six Hundred Years; when it is
Dark expect the wonted Signal at thy Window, till
when adieu, thine more than his own. Felix.

Flo.

Who wou’d not have said as much to a Lady of
her Beauty, and twenty Thousand Pounds.――Were I
a Man, methinks I cou’d have said a Hundred finer
Things, I wou’d have compar’d your Eyes to the
Stars, your Teeth to Ivory, your Lips to Corral, your
Neck to Allabaster, your Shape to――

Vio.

No more of your Bombast, Truth is the best Eloquence
in a Lover.――What Proof remains ungiven of
his Love? When his Father threatned to disinherit
him, for refusing Don Antonio’s Sister, from whence sprungB7r13
sprung this unhappy Quarrel; did it shake his Love for
me? And now, tho’ strict Enquiry runs thro’ every
Place, with large Rewards to apprehend him, does he
not venture all for me?

Flo.

But you know, Madam, your Father Don Pedro
designs you for a Nun, and says your Grand-father left
you your Fortune upon that Condition.

Vio.

Not without my Approbation, Girl, when I
come to one and Twenty, as I am inform’d. But however,
I shall run the risk of that; go call in Lissardo.

Flo.

Yes, Madam, now for a thousand Verbal Questions.

Exit. and Enter with Lissardo.

Vio.

Well, and how do you do Lissardo?

Liss.

Ah, very weary, Madam—Faith thou look’st
wondrous Pretty Flora.

Aside to Flora.

Vio.

How came you?

Liss.

En Cavalier, Madam, upon a Hackney-Jade,
which they told me formerly belong’d to an English
Colonel. But I should rather have thought she had
been bred a good Roman Catholick all her Life time;
for she down of her Knees to every Stock, and Stone,
we came along by. My Chaps Waters for a Kiss, they
do, Flora.

Aside to Flora.

Flo.

You’d make one believe you are wondrous fond
now.

Vio.

Where did you leave your Master?

Liss.

Od, if I had you alone House-wife, I’d show
you how fond I cou’d be— Aside to Flora. at a little
Farm-House, Madam, about five Miles off; he’ll be
at Don Frederick’s in the Evening――Od, I will so revenge
my self of those Lips of thine.

to Flora.

Vio.

Is he in Health?

Flo.

Oh, you counterfeit wondrous well.

to Lissardo.

Liss.

No, every Body knows I Counterfeit very ill.

to Flora.

Vio.

How say you! Is Felix ill, What’s his Distemper?
Ha!

Liss. B7v 14

Liss.

A pies on’t, I hate to be interrupted――Love,
Madam, Love――In short, Madam, I believe he has
thought of nothing but your Ladyship ever since he
left Lisbon. I am sure he cou’d not, if I may Judge of
his Heart by my own

Looking lovingly upon Flora.

Vio.

How came you so well acquainted with your
Master’s Thoughts, Lissardo?

Liss.

By an infallible Rule, Madam; Words are the
Pictures of the Mind, you know; now to prove he
thinks of nothing but you, he talks of nothing but
you――for Example, Madam, coming from Shooting
t’other Day, with a brace of Partridges, Lissardo said he,
go bid the Cook roast me these Violantes――I flew
into the Kitchin, full of Thoughts of thee, cry’d here
Cook, roast me these Florellas.

to Flora.

Flor.

Ha, ha, excellent――You mimick your Master
then it seems.

Liss.

I can do every thing as well as my Master, you
little――Rogue, another time: Madam, the Priest came
to make him a Visit, he call’d out hastily, Lissardo said
he, bring a Violante for my Father to sit down on;――
then he often mistook my Name, Madam, and call’d
me Violante; in short, I heard it so often, that it became
as familiar to me as my Prayers.

Vio.

You liv’d very Merrily then it seems.

Liss.

Oh, exceeding Merry Madam.

Kisses Flora’s
Hand.

Vio.

Ha! Exceeding Merry; had you Treats and
Balls?

Liss.

Oh! Yes, yes, Madam, several.

Flo.

You are Mad, Lissardo, you don’t mind what
my Lady says to you.

Aside to Lissardo.

Vio.

Ha! Balls――Is he so Merry in my absence? And did
your Master Dance, Lissardo?

Liss.

Dance Madam! Where Madam?

Vio.

Why, at those Balls you speak of.

Liss.

Balls! What Balls Madam?

Vio. B8r 15

Vio.

Why, sure you are in Love, Lissardo; did not
you say, but now, you had Balls where you have been?

Liss.

Balls, Madam! Odlife, I ask your Pardon
Madam! I, I, I, had mislaid some Wash-Balls of my
Master’s t’other Day; and because I cou’d not think
where I had laid them, just when he ask’d for them,
he fairly broke my Head, Madam, and now it
seems I can think of nothing else. Alas! He Dance
Madam! No, no, poor Gentleman, he is as Melancholy
as an unbrac’d Drum.

Vio.

Poor Felix! There, wear that Ring for your
Master’s Sake, and let him know, I shall be ready to
receive him.

Exit Vio.Violante

Liss.

I shall Madam―― puts on the Ring methinks a
Diamond-Ring is a vast addition to the little Finger of
a Gentleman.

admiring his Hand.

Flo.

That Ring must be mine――Well Lissardo! What
haste you make to pay off Arrears now? Look how
the Fellow stands?

Liss.

Egad, methinks I have a very pretty Hand――
and very white――and the Shape!――Faith, I never
minded it so much before!――In my Opinion it is a very
fine shap’d Hand――and becomes a Diamond Ring, as
well as the first Grandees in Portugal.

Flo.

The Man’s transported! Is this your Love! This
your Impatience!

Liss.

Takes Snuff. Now in my Mind――I take
Snuff with a very Jantee Air――Well, I am persuaded I
want nothing but a Coach, and a Title, to make me a
very fine Gentleman.

Struts about.

Flo.

Sweet Mr. Lissardo, Curtecying if I may presume
to speak to you, without affronting your little
Finger.――

Liss.

Odso Madam, I ask your Pardon—Is it to me,
or to the Ring—you direct your Discourse, Madam.

Flor.

Madam! Good Lack! How much a Diamond
Ring improves one.

Liss. B8v 16

Liss.

Why, tho’ I say it—I can carry my self as
well as any Body—But what wer’t thou going to say
Child?

Flor.

Why I was going to say, that I fancy you had
best let me keep that Ring, it will be a very pretty
Wedding Ring, Lissardo, would it not?

Liss.

Humph! Ah! But—but—but—I believe
I shan’t marry yet a while.

Flor.

You shan’t, you say—Very well! I suppose
you design that Ring for Inis.

Liss.

No, no, I never bribe an old Acquaintance—
Perhaps I might let it sparkle in the Eyes of a Stranger
a little, till we came to a right Understanding—But
then like all other Mortal Things, it would return
from whence it came.

Flor.

Insolent――Is that your Manner of dealing.

Liss.

With all but thee—Kiss me you little Rogue
you.

hugging her.

Flor.

Little Rogue! Prithy Fellow, don’t be so familiar,
pushing him away, if I mayn’t keep your Ring,
I can keep my Kisses,

Liss.

You can, you say! Spoke with the Air of a
Chambermaid.

Flor.

Reply’d with the Spirit of a serving Man.

Liss.

Prithy Flora, don’t let you and I fall out, I
am in a merry Humour, and shall certainly fall in
somewhere.

Flor.

What care I, where you fall in.

Enter Violante.

Vio.

Why do you keep Lissardo so long, Flora? When
you don’t know how soon my Father may awake, his
Afternoon Naps are never long.

Flor.

Had Don Felix been with her, she wou’d not
have thought the Time long; these Ladies consider
no body’s Wants but there own.

Aside.

Vio.

Go, go, let him out, and bring a Candle.

Flor.

Yes Madam.

Liss. B9r 17

Liss.

I fly, Madam.

Exit Liss.Lissardo and Flor.Flora

Vio.

The Day draws in, and Night,――the
Lover’s Friend advances—Night more welcome than
the Sun to me, because it brings my Love.

Flor.

Shrieks within. Ah! Thieves, Thieves! Murder,
Murder!

Vio.

Shrieks. Ah! Defend me Heaven! What do I
hear? Felix is certainly pursu’d, and will be taken.

Enter Flora, running.

Vio.

How, now! Why dost stare so? Answer me
quickly! What’s the Matter?

Flor.

Oh Madanm! As I was letting out Lissardo, a
Gentleman rushed between him and I, struck down
my Candle, and is bringing a dead Person in his Arms
into our House.

Vio.

Ha! A dead Person! Heaven grant it do’s not
prove my Felix.

Flor.

Here they are Madam.

Enter Colonel with Isabella in his Arms.

Vio.

I’ll retire till you discover the Meaning of the
Accident.

Exit.

Col.

Sets Isabella down in a Chair, and addresses
himself to Flora.

Madam, The Necessity this Lady was under, of being
convey’d into some House with Speed and Secrecy,
will I hope excuse any Indecency I might be
guilty of, in pressing so rudely into this――I am an
entire Stranger to her Name and Circumstances; wou’d
I were so to her Beauty too Aside I commit her
Madam to your Care, and fly to make her Retreat secure;
if the Street be clear, permit me to return and
learn from her own Mouth. If I can be farther serviceable,
pray Madam, how is the Lady of this House
call’d?

Fol.Flo. B9v 18

Flor.

Violante, Senior—He is a handsome Cavalier
and promises well.

Aside.

Col.

Are you she Madam?

Flor.

Only her Woman, Senior.

Col.

Your humble Servant. Mrs. Pray be careful of
the Lady――gives her two Moyders.Exit. Col.Colonel

Flor.

Two Moyders! Well he is a generous Fellow
this is the only Way to make one careful; I find all
Countries understand the Constitution of a Chambermaid.

Enter Violante.

Vio.

Was you distracted Flora? To tell my Name to
a Man you never saw! Unthinking Wench! Who
knows what this may turn to—What is the Lady
dead! Ah! Defend me Heaven, ’tis Isabella, Sister
to my Felix, what has befal’n her? Pray Heaven he’s
safe――Run and fetch some cold Water, Exit Flora,
and enters with Water
Isabella, Friend, speak to me,
Oh! Speak to me, or I shall die with Apprehension.

Flor.

See, she revives.

Isab.

Oh! Hold my dearest Father, do not force me,
indeed I cannot love him.

Vio.

How wild she talks――

Isab.

Ha! Where am I?

Vio.

With one as sensible of thy Pain as thou thy
self canst be.

Isab.

Violante! What kind Star preserv’d, and
lodg’d me here?

Flor.

It was a Terrestial Star, call’d a Man, Madam;
pray Jupiter he proves a lucky one.

Isab.

Oh! I remember now, forgive me dear Violante,
my Thoughts ran so much upon the Danger I
escap’d, I had forgot.

Vio.

May I not know your Story?

Isab. B10r 19

Isab.

Thou art no Stranger to one part of it; I have
often told thee that my Father design’d to sacrifice me
to the Arms of Don Guzman, who it seems is just return’d
from Holland, and expected ashore to-morrow,
the Day that he has set to celebrate our Nuptials,
upon my refusing to obey him, he lock’d me into my
Chamber, vowing to keep me there till he arriv’d, and
force me to consent. I know my Father to be possitive,
never to be won from his Design; and having
no hope left me, to escape the Marriage, I leap’d from
the Window, into the Street.

Vio.

You have not hurt your self I hope.

Isab.

No, a Gentleman passing by, by Accident
caught me in his Arms; at first my Fright made me
apprehend it was my Father, till he assur’d me to the
contrary.

Flor.

He is a very fine Gentleman I promise you,
Madam, and a well bred Man I warrant him. I think
I never saw a Grandee put his Hand into his Pocket
with a better Air in my whole Life Time; then he
open’d his Purse with such a Grace, that nothing but
his Manner of presenting me the Gold cou’d equal.

Vio.

There is but one common Road to the Heart of
a Servant, and ’tis impossible for a generous Person
to mistake it.――But how came you hither Isabella?

Isab.

I know not, I desir’d the Stranger to convey
me to the next Monastery, but e’er I reach’d thy Door,
I saw, or fancy’d that I saw, Lissardo, my Brother’s
Man, and the Thought that his Master might not be
far off, flung me into a Swoon, which is all that I remember:
Ha! What’s here takes up a Letter For
Collonel Britton, to be left at the Post-House in Lisbon;

this must be drop’d by the Stranger which brought
me hither.

Vio.

Thou art fal’n into the Hands of a Soldier,
take care he does not lay thee under Contribution, Girl.

Isab. B10v 20

Isab.

I find he is a Gentleman; and if he be but unmarried
I cou’d be content to follow him all the World
over.――But I shall never see him more I fear.

Sighs,
and Pauses.

Vio.

What makes you sigh Isabella?

Isab.

The fear of falling into my Father’s Clutches
again.

Vio.

Can I be serviceable to you?

Isab.

Yes, if you’l conceal me two or three Days.

Vio.

You command my House and Secrecy.

Isab.

I thank youu Violante,――I wish you would
oblige me with Mrs. Flora a while.

Vio.

I’ll send for her to you—I must watch if Dad
be still asleep, or here will be no room for Felix.Exit.

Isab.

Well I don’t know what ails me, but methinks
I wish I cou’d find this Stranger out.

Enter Flora.

Flor.

Does your Ladyship want me Madam?

Isab.

Ay, Mrs. Flora, I resolve to make you my
Confident.

Flor.

I shall endeavour to discharge my Duty, Madam.

Isab.

I doubt it not, and desire you to accept this
as a Token of my Gratitude.

Flor.

Oh dear Senjora, I shou’d have been your humble
Servant, without a Fee.

Isab.

I believe it—But to the Purpose—Do you
think if you saw the Gentleman which brought me
hither you shou’d know him again?

Flor.

From a Thousand Madam, I have an excellent
Memory where a handsome Man’s concern’d; when
he went away he said he would return again immediately,
I admire he comes not.

Isab.

Here, did you say? You rejoyce me—Tho’ I’ll
not see him, if he comes, cou’d not you contrive to
give him a Letter?

Flo. B11r 21

Flor.

With the Air of a Duanna.――

Isab.

Not in this House—You must veil and follow
him—He must not know it comes from me.

Flor.

What do you take me for a Novice in Love
Affairs? ’Tho I have not practic’d the Art since I have
been in Donna Violantes Service, yet I have not lost
the Theory of a Chamber-Maid—Do you write the
Letter, and leave the rest to me—Here, here, here’s
Pen Ink and Paper.

Isab.

I’ll do’t in a Minute.

Sits down to write.

Flor.

So! This is Businesss after my own Heart;
Love always takes care to reward his Labourers, and
Great Britain seems to be his Favourite Country.――Oh,
I long to see the t’other two Moyders with a British
Air――Methinks there’s a Grace peculiar to that Nation
in making a Present.

Isab.

So I have done, now if he does but find this
House again!

Flor.

If he shou’d not――I warrant I’ll find him if
he’s in Lisbon.

Puts the Letter into her Bosom. Enter Violante.

Vio.

Flora watch my Papa; he’s fast asleep in his
Study――If you find him stir, give me Notice.――Hark,
I hear Felix at the Window, admit him instantly, and
then to your Post.

Exit Flora.

Isab.

What say you Violante? Is my Brother come?

Vio.

It is his Signal at the Window.

Isab.

Kneels. Oh! Violante, I conjure thee by all
the love thou bear’st to Felix—By thy own generous
Nature—Nay more, by that unspotted Vertue thou art
Mistress of, do not discover to my Brother I am here.

Vio.

Contrary to your Desire, be assur’d I never shall,
but where’s the Danger?

Isab.

Art thou born in Lisbon, and ask that Question?
He’ll think his Honour blemish’d by my Disobedience,obedience,B11v22
and wou’d restore me to my Father, or
kill me, therefore dear, dear, Girl.

Vio.

Depend upon my Friendship, nothing shall
draw thy Secret from these Lips, not even Felix, tho’
at the Hazard of his love; I hear him coming, retire
into that Closet.

Isab.

Remember Violante, upon thy Promise my very
Life depends.

Vio.

When I betray thee, may I share thy Fate.

Enter Flora with Felix.

Vio.

My Felix, My everlasting Love.

runs into his Arms.

Fel.

My Life, my Soul! My Violante!

Vio.

What Hazards dost thou run for me; Oh, how
shall I requite thee?

Fel.

If during this tedious painful Exile, thy Thoughts
have never wander’d from thy Felix, thou hast made
me more than Satisfaction.

Vio.

Can there be room within this Heart for any
but thy self. No, if the God of Love were lost to all
the rest of Human Kind, thy Image wou’d secure him
in my Breast, I am all Truth, all Love, all Faith, and
know no jealous Fears.

Fel.

My Heart’s the proper Sphere where Love resides;
cou’d he quit that he wou’d be no where found:
And yet Violante I’m in doubt.

Vio.

Did I ever give thee Cause to doubt my Felix.

Fel.

True love has many Fears, and Fear as many
Eyes as Fame; yet sure I think they see no Fault in
thee—What’s that?

the Colonel pats at the Window.
without.

Vio.

What? I heard nothing.

He pats again.

Fel.

Ha! What means this Signal at your Window?

Vio.

Some Body perhaps, in passing by; might accidentally
hit it, it can be nothing else.

Col.

Within Hist, hist, Donna Violante, Donna
Violante
.

Fel. B12r 23

Fel.

They use your Name by Accident too, do they
Madam?

Enter Flora.

Flo.

There is a Gentleman at the Window, Madam,
which I fancy to be him who brought Isabella hither;
shall I admit him!

Aside to Violante.

Vio.

Admit Distraction rather, thou art the Cause of
this, unthinking Wretch!

Aside to Flora.

Fel.

What has Mistress Scout brought you fresh Intelligence?
Death, I’ll know the Bottom of this immediately!

offers to go.

Flo.

Scout, I scorn your Words, Senior.

Vio.

Nay, nay, nay, nay; you must not leave me.

runs and catches hold of him.

Fel.

Oh! ’Tis not fair, not to Answer the Gentleman,
Madam, It is none of his Fault, that his Visit
proves unseasonable; pray let me go, my Presence
is but a restraint upon you.

struggles to get from her The Colonel pats agen.

Vio.

Was ever Accident so Mischievous? Aside.

Flo.

It must be the Colonel, now to deliver my
Letter to him.

Exit.

Fel.

Hark, he grows impatient at your delay――Why
do you hold the Man, whose Absence wou’d oblige
you, pray let me go, Madam; consider, the Gentleman
wants you at the Window. Confusion! struggles
still.

Vio.

It is not me he wants.

Fel.

Death, not you? Is there another of your
Name in the House? But, come on, convince me of
the Truth of what you say: Open the Window, if
his Business does not lye with you, your Conversation
may be heard—This, and only this, can take of my
Suspicion—What do you pause! Oh Guilt! Guilt!
Have I caught you, Nay then I’ll leap the Balcony,
If I remember, this Way leads to it.

breaks from her
and goes to the Door where Isabella is.

Vio.

Oh Heavens! What shall I do now, hold, hold, hold,B12v 24
hold, hold, not for the World――You enter there――
Which way shall I preserve his Sister from his Knowledge?

Aside.

Fel.

What have I touch’d you; do you fear your
Lover’s Life?

Vio.

I fear for none but you—For goodness Sake,
do not speak so loud my Felix. If my Father hear you
I am lost for ever, that Door opens into his Apartment,
What shall I do if he enters? There he finds
his Sister—If he goes out he’ll quarrel with the Stranger
――Nay do not struggle to be gone my Felix—If I
open the Window he may discover the whole Intrigue,
and yet of all Evils we ought to chuse the
least. Your Curiosity shall be satisfied. Whoe’er you
are that with such Insolence dare use my Name, and
give the Neighbourhood Pretence to reflect upon my
Conduct. I charge you instantly be gone, or expect
the Treatment you deserve.

goes to the Window and
throws up the Sash.

Col.

I ask your Pardon Madam, and will obey; but
when I left this House to Night.

Fel.

Good!

Vio.

It is most certainly the Stranger, what will be
the Event of this Heaven knows. Aside. You are mistaken
in the House I suppose, Sir.

Fel.

No, no, he is not mistaken—Pray Madam
let the Gentleman go on.

Vio.

Wretched Misfortune, pray be gone Sir, I know
of no Business you have here.

Col.

I wish I did not know it neither—But this
House contains my Soul, then can you blame my Body
for hovering about it!

Fel.

Excellent!

Vio.

Distraction! He will infallibly discover Isabella.
I tell you again you are mistaken; however for your
own Satisfaction call To-Morrow.

Fel.

Matchless Impudence! An Assignation before myC1r 25
my Face—No he shall not live to meet your wishes.

Takes out a Pistol and goes towards
the Window; she catches hold of him.

Vio.

Ah! Shrieks hold I conjure you.

Col.

To-morrow’s an Age Madam! May I not be admitted
to Night?

Vio.

If you be a Gentleman I command your Absence.
Unfortunate! What will my Stars do with me?

Aside.

Col.

I have done—Only this—Be careful of my
Life, for it is in your keeping.

Exit from the Window.

Fel.

Pray observe the Gentleman’s Request Madam.

Walking off from her.

Vio.

I am all Confusion.

Aside.

Fel.

You are all Truth, all Love, all Faith; Oh
thou all Woman!――How have I been deceiv’d?
S’Death, cou’d not you have impos’d upon me for this
one Night? Cou’d neither my faithful Love, nor the
Hazard I have run to see you, make me worthy to be
cheated on?

Vio.

Can I bear this from you?

Weeps.

Fel.

Repeats When I left this House to Night――
to Night the Devil! Return so soon!

Vio.

Oh Isabella! What hast thou involv’d me in?

Aside.

Fel.

Repeats This House contains my Soul.

Vio.

Yet I resolve to keep the Secret.

Aside.

Fel.

Repeats Be careful of my Life, for ’tis in
your keeping.――Damnation!――How ugly she appears?Looking at her.

Vio.

Do not look so sternly on me, but believe me
Felix, I have not injur’d you, nor am I false.

Fel.

Not false, not injur’d me! Oh Violante, lost
and abandon’d to thy Vice! Not false, Oh monstrous!

Vio.

Indeed I am not—There is a Cause which I
must not reveal—Oh think how far Honour can
oblige your Sex—Then allow a Woman may be
bound by the same Rule to keep a Secret.

C Fel. Ho- C1v 26

Fel.

Honour, what hast thou to do with Honour,
thou that canst admit plurality of Lovers, a Secret?
Ha, ha, ha, his Affairs are wondrous safe, who trusts
his Secret to a Womans keeping, but you need give
your self no Trouble about clearing this Point Madam,
for you are become so indifferent to me, that your
Truth, and Falshood are the same!

Vio.

My Love!

Offers to take his Hand.

Fel.

My Torment!

Turns from her. Enter Flora.

Flo.

So I have deliver’d my Letter to the Colonel,
and receiv’d my Fee. Aside Madam, your Father bad
me see what Noise that was—For Goodness sake Sir,
why do you speak so loud!

Fel.

I understand my cue Mistress, my Absence is
Necessary, I’ll oblige you. goingtakes hold of him.

Vio.

Oh let me undeceive you first!

Fel.

Impossible!

Vio.

’Tis very possible if I durst.

Fel.

Durst! Ha, ha, ha, durst quotha.

Vio.

But another time I’ll tell thee all.

Fel.

Nay, now or never.――

Vio.

Now it cannot be.

Fel.

Then it shall never be—Thou most ungrateful
of thy Sex, farewel.

Breaks from her and Exit.

Vio.

Oh exquisite Tryal of my Friendship! Yet not
even this, shall draw the Secret from me,

That I’ll preserve, let Fortune frown, or smile,

And trust to Love, my Love to reconcile.

Exit.
Act
27
C2r

Act III.

Enter Don Lopez.

Lop.

Was ever Man thus pIlagu’d! Odsheart, I cou’d
swallow my Dagger for Madness; I know
not what to think, sure Frederick had no Hand in her
Escape—She must get out of the Window; and she
could not do that without a Ladder; and who cou’d
bring it her, but him? Ay, it must be so. The dislike
he shew’d to Don Guzman in our Discourse to Day,
confirms my Suspicion, and I will charge him home
with it; sure Children were given me for a Curse!
Why, what innumerable Misfortunes attend us Parents,
when we have employ’d our whole Care to
educate, and bring our Children up to Years of Maturity?
Just when we expect to reap the Fruits of our
Labour; a Man shall in the tinkling of a Bell, see one
hang’d, and t’other whor’d—This Graceless Baggage
—But I’ll to Frederick immediately, I’ll take the
Alguzil with me, and search his House; and if I find
her, I’ll use her—by St.Saint Anthony, I don’t know how I’ll
use her.

Exit.
The Scene changes to the Street. Enter Colonel with Isabella’s Letter in his Hand, and
Gibby following.

Col.

Well, tho’ I cou’d not see my fair Incognita,
Fortune, to make me amends, has flung another Intrigue
in my way. Oh! How I love these pretty,
kind, coming Females, that won’t give a Man the
trouble of wracking his Invention to deceive them.――
Oh, Portugal! Thou dear Garden of Pleasure—Where
Love drops down his Mellow Fruit, and every Bough
bends to our Hands, and seems to cry come, Pull and
Eat, how deliciously a Man lives here without fear of C2theC2v28
the Stool of Repentance?――This Letter I receiv’d from
a Lady in a Vail――Some Duanna! Some necessary Implement
of Cupid; I suppose the Stile is frank and easie,
I hope like her that writ it. Reads Sir, I have
seen your Person, and like it――Very Concise.――And if
you’ll meet at five a Clock in the Morning upon the
Terriero de passa, half an Hours Conversation will let
me into your Mind.―― Ha, ha, ha, a Philosophical
Wench: This is the first time I ever knew a Woman
had any Business with the Mind of a Man.――
If your
Intellects answer your outward Appearance, the Adventure
may not displease you. I expect you’ll not attempt
to see my Face, nor offer any thing unbecoming
the Gentleman I take you for:―― Humph, the Gentleman
she takes me for, I hope she takes me to be Flesh
and Blood, and then I am sure I shall do nothing unbecoming
a Gentleman. Well, if I must not see her
Face, it shall go hard if I don’t know where she
lives.――Gibby,

Gib.

Here, an like yer Honour.

Col.

Follow me at a good Distance, do you hear
Gibby?

Gib.

In troth dee I, weel eneugh, Sir.

Col.

I am to meet a Lady upon the Terriero de passa.

Gib.

The Deel an min Eyn gin I keen her, Sir.

Col.

But you will when we come there, Sirrah

Gib.

Like eneugh, Sir, I have as sharp an Eyn tul a
Bony Lass, as ere a Lad in aw Scotland, an what mun I
dee wi her, Sir?

Col.

Why, if she and I part, you must watch her
Home, and bring me Word where she lives.

Gib.

In troth sal I Sir, gin the Deel tak her not.

Col.

Come along then, ’tis pretty near the time.――I
like a Woman that rises early to persue her Inclination.

Thus we improve the Pleasures of the Day,

Whilst tasteless Mortals sleep their Time away.

Exit. Scene
C3r 29 Scene changes to Frederick’s House. Enter Inis and Lissardo.

Liss.

Your Lady run away, and you not know whether!
Say you?

Inis.

She never greatly car’d for me after finding you
and I together; but you are very Grave, methinks,
Lissardo.

Liss.

Looking upon the Ring Not at all—I have
some Thoughts indeed of altering my Course of living;
there is a critical Minute in every Man’s Life, which
if he can but lay hold of, he may make his Fortune.

Inis.

Ha! What, do I see a Diamond-Ring! Where
the duce had he that Ring? You have got a very
pretty Ring there, Lissardo.

Liss.

Ay, the Trifle is pretty enough.――But the Lady
which gave it me is a Bona Roba in Beauty, I assure
you.

Cocks his Hat and Struts.

Inis.

I can’t bear this—The Lady! What Lady pray?

Liss.

Oh fy! There’s a Question to ask a Gentleman.

Inis.

A Gentleman! Why, the Fellow’s spoil’d; is
this your Love for me? Ungrateful Man, you’ll break
my Heart, so you will.

Bursts into Tears.

Liss.

Poor tender hearted Fool.――

Inis.

If I knew who gave you that Ring, I’d tear her
Eyes out, so I wou’d.

Sobs.

Liss.

So, now the Jade wants a little Coaxing;
why, what dost thou weep for now, my Dear? Ha!

Inis.

I suppose Flora gave you that Ring; but I’ll――

Liss.

No, the Devil take me if she did, you make
me Swear now――So, they are All for the Ring, but I
shall bob ’em: I did but Joke, the Ring is none of
mine, it is my Masters; I am to give it to be new
Set, that’s all, therefore prithy dry thy Eyes, and kiss
me come.

Enter Flora.

Inis.

And do you really speak Truth now?

Liss.

Why, Do you doubt it?

C3 Flo. C3v 30

Flo.

So, so, very well! I thought, there was an Intrigue
between him and Inis, for all he has forsworn
it so often.

Aside.

Inis.

Nor han’t you seen Flora since you came to
Town.

Flo.

Ha! How dares she Name my Name?

Aside.

Liss.

No, by this Kiss I han’t.

Kisses her.

Flo.

Here’s a dissembling Varlet.

Aside.

Inis.

Nor don’t you love her at all?

Liss.

Love the Devil, why did not I always tell
thee she was my Aversion.

Flo.

Did you so, Villain!

Strikes him a box on the
Ear.

Liss.

Zhounds she here! I have made a fine spot of
Work on’t.

Aside.

Inis.

What’s that for? Ha.

Brushes up to her.

Flo.

I shall tell you by and by, Mrs. Frippery, if you
don’t get about your Business.

Inis.

Who do you call Frippery Mrs. Trolup? Pray
get about your Business: if you go to that, I hope you
pretend to no Right and Title here.

Liss.

What the Devil do they take me for, an Acre
of Land, that they quarrel about Right and Title to
me?

Aside.

Flo.

Pray, what right have you, Mistress, to ask
that Question?

Inis.

No matter for that, I can show a better Title
to him than you, I believe.

Flo.

What, has he given thee Nine Months earnest
for a living Title? Ha, ha.

Inis.

Don’t fling your flearing Jests at me, Mrs.
Boldface
, for I won’t take ’em, I assure you.

Liss.

So! Now am I as great as the fam’d Alexander.
But my dear Statira and Roxana, don’t exert your
selves so much about me: Now, I fancy, if you wou’d
agree lovingly together, I might in a modest way satisfie
both your Demands upon me.

Flo. C4r 31

Flo.

You satisfie! No, Sirrah, I am not to be satisfy’d
so soon as you think, perhaps.

Inis.

No, nor I neither.――What do you make no
difference between us?

Flo.

You pitiful Fellow you; what you fancy, I
warrant, that I gave my self the trouble of dogging
you, out of love to your filthy Person, but you are
mistaken, Sirrah—It was to detect your Treachery.—
How often have you Sworn to me that you hated Inis,
and only carried fair for the good Chear she gave you;
but that you could never like a Woman with crooked
Legs, you said.

Inis.

How, how, Sirrah, crooked Legs! Ods, I
cou’d find in my Heart.

Snatches up her Pettycoat a
little.

Liss.

Here’s a Lying young Jade now! Prithy, my
Dear, moderate thy Passion.

Coaxingly.

Inis.

I’d have you to know, Sirrah, my Legs was
never――your Master, I hope, understands Legs better
than you do, Sirrah.

Liss.

My Master, so so.

Shaking his Head and
winking.

Flo.

I am glad I have done some Mischief, however.

Aside.

Liss.

To Inis. Art thou really so foolish to mind
what an enrag’d Woman says! Do’nt you see she does
it on Purpose to part you and I, runs to Flora cou’d
not you find the Joke without putting your Self in a
Passion! You silly Girl you; why, I saw you follow
us plain enough, Mun, and said all this, that you
might not go back with only your Labour for your
Pains—But you are a revengeful young Slut tho’. I
tell you that, but come Kiss, and Friends.

Flo.

Don’t thingk to Coax me, hang your Kisses.

Fel.

Within.Lissardo.

Liss.

Odsheart, here’s my Master, the Devil take
both these Jades, for me, what shall I do with them?

C4 Inis. C4v 32

Inis.

Ha! ’Tis Don Felix’s Voice; I wou’d not have
him find me here, with his Foot-Man, for the World.

Aside.

Fel.

Within Why, Lissardo, Lissardo!

Liss.

Coming Sir, What a Pox will you do?

Flo.

Bless me, which way shall I get out!

Liss.

Nay, nay, you must e’en set your Quarrel aside,
and be content to be mew’d up in this Cloaths Press
together, or stay where you are, and Face it out—
There is no help for it!

Flo.

Put me any where, rather than that; come,
come, let me in.

He opens the Press, and she goes in.

Inis.

I’ll see her hang’d, before I’ll go into the Place
where she is.――I’ll trust Fortune with my deliverance:
Here us’d to be a pair of back Stairs, I’ll try to find
them out.

Exit. Enter Felix and Frederick.

Fel.

Was you asleep, Sirrah, that you did not hear
me call?

Liss.

I did hear you, and answered you, I was coming,
Sir.

Fel.

Go get the Horses ready, I’ll leave Lisbon to
Night, never to see it more.

Liss.

Hey day! What’s the Matter now?

Exit.

Fred.

Pray tell me, Don Felix! What has ruffled
your Temper thus?

Fel.

A Woman――Oh Friend, who can name Woman,
and forget Inconstancy!

Fred.

This from a Person of mean Education were
excusable, such low Suspicions have their source from
vulgar Conversation; Men of your politer Taste never
rashly Censure.――Come, this is some groundless
Jealousie.――Love raises many Fears.

Fel.

No, My Ears convey’d the Truth into my
Heart, and Reason justifies my Anger: Violante’s false and,C5r33
and I have nothing left, but thee, in Lisbon, which can
make me wish ever to see it more, except Revenge upon
my Rival, of whom I am ignorant. Oh, That
some Miracle wou’d reveal him to me, that I might
thro’ his Heart punish my Infidelity.

Enter Lissardo.

Liss.

Oh! Sir, here’s your Father Don Lopez coming
up.

Fel.

Do’s he know I am here?

Liss.

I can’t tell, Sir, he ask’d for Don Frederick.

Fred.

Did he see you?

Liss.

I believe not, Sir; for as soon as I saw him, I
ran back to give my Master Notice.

Fel.

Keep out of his Sight then.――And dear Frederick,
permit me to retire into the next Room, for I
know the Old Gentleman will be very much displeased
at my return without his leave.

Exit.

Fred.

Quick, quick, begon, he is here.

Enter Don Lopez, speaking as he Enters.

Lop.

Mr. Alguzil, wait you without till I call for
you. Frederick, an Affair brings me here—which—
requires Privacy.――So that if you have any Body within
Ear shot, pray order them to retire.

Fred.

We are private, my Lord, speak freely.

Lop.

Why then, Sir, I must tell you, that you had
better have pitch’d upon any Man in Portugal to have
injur’d, than my self.

Fel.

Peeping. What means my Father?

Fred.

I understand you not, my Lord!

Lop.

Tho’, I am Old, I have a Son.――Alass! Why
Name I him? He knows not the Dishonour of my
House.

Fel.

I am confounded! The dishounour of his House.

C5 Fred. C5v 34

Fred.

Explain your self my Lord! I am not conscious
of any dishonourable Action, to any Man much less to
your Lordship.

Lop.

’Tis false! you have debauch’d my Daughter.

Fel.

Debauch’d my Sister! Impossible! He cou’d not,
durst not be that Villain.

Fred.

My Lord, I scorn so foul a Charge.

Lop.

You have debauch’d her Duty at least, therefore
instantly restore her to me, or by St.Saint Anthony I’ll
make you.

Fred.

Restore her my Lord! Where shall I find her?

Lop.

I have those that will swear she is here in your
House.

Fel.

Ha! In this House?

Fred.

You are misinform’d my Lord, upon my Reputation
I have not seen Donna Isabella, since the
Absence of Don Felix.

Lop.

Then pray Sir—If I am not too inquisitive,
What Motive had you for those Objections you made
against her Marriage with Don Guzman Yesterday?

Fred.

The Disagreeableness of such a Match, I fear’d
wou’d give your Daughter cause to curse her Duty, if
she comply’d with your Demands, that was all my
Lord!

Lop.

And so you help’d her thro’ the Window to
make her disobey.

Fel.

Ha, my Sister gone! Oh Scandal to our Blood!

Fred.

This is insulting me my Lord, when I assure
you I have neither seen, nor know any thing of your
Daughter—If she is gone, the Contrivance was her
own, and you may thank your Rigour for it.

Lop.

Very well, Sir, however my Rigour shall make
bold to search your House, here call in the Alguzile――

Flo.

Peeping The Alguzile! What in the Name
of Wonder will become of me!

Fred.

The Alguzile! My Lord you’l repent this.

Enter C6r 35 Enter Alguzile and Attendants.

Lop.

No Sir, ’tis you that will repent it, I charge you
in the King’s Name to assist me in finding of my Daughter
—Besure you leave no Part of the House unsearch’d;
come, follow me.

Goes towards the Door
where Felix is; Frederick draws, and plants himself
before the Door.

Fred.

Sir, I must first know by what Authority you
pretend to Search my House, before you enter here.

Alg.

How! Sir, dare you presume to draw your
Sword, upon the Representative of Majesty! I am Sir,
I am his Majesty’s Alguzile, and the very Quintessence
of Authority—therefore put up your Sword, or I shall
order you to be knock’d down—for know Sir, the
Breath of an Alguzile is as dangerous, as the Breath
of a Demy-Culverin.

Lop.

She is certainly in that Room, by his Guarding
the Door—if he Disputes your Authority, knock him
down I say.

Fred.

I shall show you some Sport first; the Woman
you look for is not here, but there is something in this
Room, which I’ll preserve from your sight at the Hazard
of my Life.

Lop.

Enter I say, nothing but my Daughter can be
there—force his Sword from him.

Felix comes out
and joyns Frederick.

Fel.

Villains stand off! Assassinate a Man in his own
House.

Lop.

Oh, oh, oh, Misericordia, what do I see my
Son!

Alg.

Ha, his Son! Here’s five hundred Pounds good,
my Brethren, if Antonio dies, and that’s in the Surgeons
Power, and he’s in love with my Daughter you
know――Don Felix! I command you to surrender your
self into the Hands of Justice, in order, to raise meC6v36
me and my Posterity, and in Consideration you lose
your Head to gain me five hundred Pounds, I’ll have
your Generosity recorded on your Tomb-Stone—at
my own proper Cost, and Charge—I hate to be ungrate-ful.

Fred.

Here’s a generous Dog now――

Lop.

Oh that ever I was born――Hold, hold, hold.

Fred.

Did I not tell you, you wou’d repent my
Lord, What ho! Within there Enter Servants arm
your selves, and let not a Man in, or out, but Felix
Look ye Alguzile when you wou’d betray my Friend
for filthy Lucre, I shall no more regard you as an
Officer of Justice, but as a Thief and Robber thus resist
you.

Fel.

Gen’rous Frederick! Come on Sir, we’ll show
you Play for the five hundred Pounds.

Alg.

Fall on, seize the Money right or wrong, ye
Rogues.

They fight.

Lop.

Hold, hold, Alguzile! I’ll give you the five
hundred Pound, that is, my Bond to pay it upon Antonio’s
Death, and twenty Pistoles however things go,
for you and these honest Fellows to drink my Health.

Alg.

Say you so my Lord! Why look ye my Lord, I
bear the young Gentleman no ill Will my Lord If I
get but the five hundred Pounds, my Lord—why
look ye my Lord—’Tis the same thing to me whether
your Son be hanged or not my Lord,

Fel.

Scoundrels.――

Lop.

Ay, well, thou art a good natur’d Fellow that
is the Truth on’t—Come then we’ll to the Tavern,
and sign and seal this Minute, Oh Felix be careful of
thy self, or thou wilt break my Heart;

Exit Lopez,
Alguzile and Attendants.

Fel.

Now Frederick, tho’ I ought to thank you for
your Care of me, yet till I am satisfied about my Father’s
Accusation, I can’t return the Acknowledgments
I owe you: Know you aught relating to my Sister?

Fred. I C7r 37

Fred.

I hope my Faith, and Truth, are known to
you—And here by both I swear, I am ignorant of
every Thing relating to your Father’s Charge.

Fel.

Enough, I do believe thee! Oh Fortune! Where
will thy Malice end!

Enter Servant.

Ser.

Sir, I bring you joyful News, I am told that
Don Antonio is out of Danger and now in the Palace.

Fel.

I wish it be true, then I’m at Liberty to watch
my Rival, and persue my Sister; prithy Frederick, inform
thy self of the Truth of this Report.

Fred.

I will this Minute—Do you hear, let no
body in to Don Felix till my return.

Exit.

Ser.

I’ll observe Sir.

Exit.

Flo.

Peeping They have almost frighted me out of
my Wits――I’m sure――Now Felix is alone, I have a
good Mind to pretend I came with a Message from my
Lady; but then how shall I say I came into the Cupboard.

Aside. Enter Servant, seeming to oppose the Entrance of
some body.

Ser.

I tell you Madam Don Felix is not here.

Vio.

Within I tell you Sir he is here, and I will
see him. breaks in You are as difficult of Access Sir,
as a first Minister of State.

Flo.

My Stars! My Lady here!

Shuts the Press close.

Fel.

If your Visit was design’d to Frederick, Madam,
he is abroad.

Vio.

No Sir, the Visit is to you.

Fel.

You are very punctual in your Ceremonies Madam.

Vio.

Tho’ I did not come to return your Visit, but
to take that which your Civility ought to have brought
me.

Fel. If C7v 38

Fel.

If my Ears, my Eyes, and my Understanding
ly’d, then I am in your Debt, else not Madam.

Vio.

I will not charge them with a Term so gross,
to say they ly’d, but call it a Mistake, nay, call it any
thing to excuse my Felix—Cou’d I, Think ye, cou’d I put
off my Pride so far, poorly to dissemble a Passion which
I did not feel? Or seek a Reconciliation, with what
I did not love? Do but consider, If I had entertain’d
another, shou’d I not rather embrace this Quarrel,
pleas’d with the Occasion that rid me of your Visits and
gave me Freedom to enjoy the Choice which you think
I have made; have I any Interest in thee but my Love?
Or am I bound by aught but Inclination to submit and
follow thee—No Law whilst single binds us to obey,
but you by Nature, and Education, are oblig’d to pay
a Deference to all Woman kind.

Fel.

These are fruitless Arguments: ’Tis most certain
thou wert dearer to these Eyes then all that
Heaven e’er gave to Charm the Sense of Man, but I
wou’d rather tear them out, than suffer ’em to delude
my Reason, and enslave my Peace.

Vio.

Can you love without Esteem? And where is
the Esteem for her you still suspect? Oh Felix! There
is a Delicacy――in Love, which equals even a religious
Faith; true Love ne’er doubts the Object it adores,
and Scepticks there, will disbelieve their Sight.

Enter Servant.

Fel.

Your Notions are too refin’d for mine Madam.
How now, what do you want?

Ser.

Only my Master’s Cloak out of this Press Sir,
that’s all, Oh! The Devil,—The Devil,

Opens
the Press, sees Flora, and roars out.

Vio.

Ha, a Woman conceal’d! Very well Felix!

Flo.

Discover’d! Nay then Legs befriend me.

Runs
out.

Fel.

A Woman in the Press! Enter Lissardo. HowC8r39
How the Devil came a Woman there, Sirrah?

Liss.

What shall I say now?

Vio.

Now Lissardo shew your Wit to bring gyour
Master off.

Liss.

Off Madam! Nay, nay, nay, there, there
needs no great Wit to, to, to, to bring him off Madam,
for she did, and she did not come as, as, as, as a, a
a Man may say directly to, to, to, to speak with my
Master Madam.

Vio.

I see by your Stammering, Lissardo, that your
Invention is at at a very low Ebb.

Fel.

S’Death Rascal, speak without Hessitation, and
the Truth too, or I shall stick my Stilletto in your
Guts.

Vio.

No, no, your Master mistakes, he wou’d not
have you speak the Truth.

Fel.

Madam my Sincerity wants no excuse.

Liss.

I am so confounded between one and the other,
that I can’t think of a Lye— Aside.

Fel.

Sirrah fetch me this Woman back instantly, I’ll
know what Business she had here!

Vio.

Not a Step; your Master shan’t be put to the
Blush—Come a Truce Felix! Do you ask me no
more Questions about the Window, and I’ll forgive
this.

Fel.

I scorn Forgiveness where I own no Crime, but
your Soul conscious of its Guilt, wou’d fain lay hold
of this Occasion to blend your Treason with my Innocence.

Vio.

Insolent! Nay, if instead of owning your Fault
you endeavour to insult my Patience, I must tell you
Sir, you don’t behave your self like that Man of Honour
you wou’d be taken for, you ground your Quarrel
with me upon your own Inconstancy; ’tis plain
you are false your self, and wou’d make me the Agressor
—It was not for nothing the Fellow oppos’d my
Entrance—This last Usage has given me back my Liberty,C8v 40
Liberty, and now my Father’s Will shall be obey’d
without the least Reluctance.

Exit.

Fel.

Oh, stubborn, stubborn Heart, what wilt thou
do? Her Father’s Will shall be obey’d! Ha, That
carries her to a Cloyster, And cuts of all my Hopes at
once—By Heaven she shall not, must not leave me.
No she is not false, at least my Love now represents
her true, because I fear to lose her, Ha! Villain, art
thou here! turns upon Lissardo tell me this Moment
who this Woman was, and for what Intent she was
here conceal’d――Or

Liss.

Ah, good Sir forgive me, and I’ll tell you the
whole Truth.

falls on his Knees.

Fel.

Out with it then――

Liss.

It, it it, was Mrs. Flora Sir. Donna Violante’s
Woman—you must know Sir, we have had a sneaking
Kindness for one another a great while—She was
not willing you should know it, so when she heard
your Voice, she ran into the Cloaths Press, I wou’d
have told you this at first, but I was afraid of her Lady’s
knowing it, this is the Truth as I hope for a whole
Skin, Sir.

Fel.

If it be not, I’ll not leave you a whole Bone in
it Sirrah—fly, and observe if Violante goes directly
home.

Liss.

Yes Sir, yes.

Exit.

Fel.

I must convince her of my Faith, Oh! How
irresolute is a Lovers Heart! My Resentments cool’d
when hers grew high—Nor can I struggle longer
with my Fate, I cannot quit her, no I cannot, so absolute
a Conquest has she gain’d—Woman’s the greatest
sovereign Power on Earth.

In vain Men strive their Tyranny to quit,

Their Eyes command, and force us to submit.

So have I seen a metled Courser fly,

Tear up the Ground, and toss his Rider high;

Till C9r 41

Till some experienc’d Master found the Way,

With Spur and Rein to make his Pride obey.

Scene, the Terreiro de passa.

Enter Colonel, and Isabella vail’d.
Gibby at a Distance.

Col.

Then you say, it is impossible for me to wait
of you home Madam.

Isab.

I say it is inconsistent with my Circumstance
Colonel, and that Way impossible for me to admit of it.

Col.

Consent to go with me then—I lodge at one
Don Frederickss a Merchant just by here, he is a very
honest Fellow and I dare confide in his Secrecy.

Isab.

Ha, does he lodge there? Pray Heaven I am
not discover’d.

Aside.

Col.

What say you my Charmer? Shall we breakfast
together; I have some of the best Bohea in the
Universe.

Isab.

puh! Bohea! Is that the best Treat you can
give a Lady at your Lodgings――Colonel!

Col.

Well hinted—No, no, no, I have other
Things at thy Service Child.

Isab.

What are those Things pray?

Col.

My Heart, Soul, and Body into the Bargain.

Isab.

Has the last no Incumbrance upon it, can you
make a clear Title, Colonel?

Col.

all Free-hold Child, and I’ll afford the a very
good Bargain.

embraces her.

Gib.

Au my Sol, they mak muckle Wards about it,
Ise seer weary with standing, Ise e’en tak a Sleep.

Lies down.

Isab.

If I take a Lease, it must be for Life, Colonel.

Col.

Thou shalt have me as long, or as little Time
as thou wilt; my Dear, come lets to my Lodging, and
we’ll Sign and Seal this Minute.

Isab. Oh, C9v 42

Isab.

Oh, not so fast, Colonel, there are many
things to be adjusted before the Lawyer and the Parson
comes.

Col.

The Lawyer and the Parson! No, no, ye littel
Rogue, we can finish our Affairs without the help
of the Law――or the Gospel.

Isab.

Indeed but we can’t, Colonel.

Col.

Indeed! Why hast thou then trappan’d me out
of my warm Bed this Morning for nothing! Why,
this is showing a Man half famish’d, a well furnish’d
Larder, then clapping a Padlock on the Door, till you
Starve him quite.

Isab.

If you can find it in your Heart to say Grace,
Colonel, you shall keep the Key.

Col.

I love to see my Meat before I give Thanks,
Madam, therefore uncover thy Face, Child, and I’ll
tell thee more of my Mind.――If I like you――

Isab.

I dare not risk my Reputation upon your Ifs,
Colonel―― and so Adieu.

Going.

Col.

Nay, nay, nay, we must not part.

Isab.

As you ever hope to see me more, suspend
your Curiosity now; one Step farther looses me for
ever.――Show your self a Man of Honour, and you
shall find me a Woman of Honour.

Exit.

Col.

Well, for once, I’ll trust to a blind Bargain,
Madam―― Kisses her Hand, and parts. But I shall
be too Cunning for your Ladyship, if Gibby observes my
Orders: Methinks these Intrigues, which relate to
the Mind, are very insipid.――The Conversation of
Bodys is much more diverting――Ha! What do I see,
my Rascal asleep? Sirrah, did I not charge you to
watch the Lady? And is it thus you observe my Orders,
ye Dog.

Kicks him all this while, and he
shrugs, and rubs his Eyes, and Yawns.

Gib.

That’s Treu, an lik your Honour; but I
thought that when ence ye had her in yer awn Honds,
yee mite a orderd her yer sal weal eneugh without me,
an ye keen, an like yer Honour.

Col. C10r 43

Col.

Sirrah, hold your impertinent Tongue, and
make haste after her; if you don’t bring me some Account
of her, never dare to see my Face again.

Exit.

Gib.

Ay! This is bony Wark indeed to run three hundred
Mile to this wicked Town, an before I can weel
fill my Wem, to be sent a Whore hunting after this
black shee Devil.――What Gat sal I gang to speer for this
Wutch now? Ah, for a ruling Elder――or the Kirks
Treaserer—or his Mon.――Id gar, my Master mak twa
oh this;――But I’m seer there’s na sike honest People
here, or there wou’d na be so muckle Sculdudrie. Fornication.

Enter an English Soldier passing along.

Gib.

Geud Mon, did yee see a Woman, a Lady ony
gate here away enow?

Eng. Man.

Yes, a great Many. What kind of a
Woman is it you inquire after.

Gib.

Geud troth, she’s ne Kenspekle, she’s aw
in a Clowd.――

Eng. Man.

Why it’s some High-land Monster
which you brought over with you I suppose, I see no
such not I, kenspekle quotha!

Gib.

Huly, huly, Mon, the Deel pike out yer Eyn, and
then you’ll see the bater, yee English bag Pudin Tike.

Eng. Man.

What says the Fellow? Turning to Gibby.

Gib.

Say! I say I am a better Fellow than e’er stude
upon yer Shanks—an gin I heer meer a yer din, deal
a my Sol, Sir, but Ise crack your Crown.

Eng. Man.

Get you gone you Scotch Rascal, and
thank your Heathen Dialect, which I don’t understand,
that you han’t your Bones broke.

Gib.

Ay! An ye do no understond a Scots Man’s
Tongue—Ise se gin yee can understond a Scots Man’s
Gripe: Wha’s the bater Man now Sir?

Lays hold of him, strikes up his
Heels, and gets a Stride over him.
Here C10v 44 Here Violante crosses the Stage, Gibby jumps up
from the Man, and brushes up to Violante.

Gib.

I vow, Madam, but I am glad that yee, and I
are foregather’d.

Vio.

What wou’d the Fellow have?

Gib.

Nothing, away Madam, wo worth yer Heart,
what a muckle deel a Mischief had yee like to bring
upon poor Gibby.

Vio.

The Man’s Drunk.――

Gib.

In troth am I not.――An gin I had not fond ye,
Madam, the Laird knows when I shou’d; for my Master
bad me nere gang Heam, without Tydings of yee,
Madam.

Vio.

Sirrah, get about your Business, or I’ll have
your Bones drub’d.

Gib.

Geud Faith, my Master has e’en dun that te
yer Honds, Madam.

Vio.

Who is your Master? Friend.

Gib.

Mony e’en Spiers the gat, they ken right
weel.――It is no so long sen yee parted wi him, I wish
he kent yee haafe as weel as yee ken him.

Vio.

Pugh, the Creature’s mad, or mistakes me for
some Body else; and I shou’d be as Mad as he, to talk
to him any longer.

Exit. Enter Lissardo at the upper end of the Stage.

Liss.

So, she’s gone Home I see, What did that
Scotch Fellao want with her? I’ll try to find it out,
perhaps I may discover something that may make my
Master Friends with me again.

Gib.

Are ye gaune, Madam, a Deel scope in yer
Company, for I’m as weese as I was; but I’ll bide and
see whase House it is, gin I can meet wi ony Civel
Body to Spier at.――Weel of aw Men in the Warld, I
think our Scots Men the greatest Feuls, to leave their
weel favour’d honest Women at Heam, to rin wallopingingC11r45
after a pack of Gyrcarlings here, that shame to
show their Faces, and peer Men, like me, are forc’d
to be their Pimps; a Pimp! Godswarbit, Gibby’s ne’er
be a Pimp.――An yet in troth it is a threving Trade;
I rememmer a Country-Man aw mi ean, that by ganging
a sike like Errands as I am now, come to grat
Preferment: My Lad, Wot yee wha lives here?

Turns
and sees Lissardo.

Liss.

Don Pedro de Mendosa.

Gib.

An did yee se a Lady gang in but now?

Liss.

Yes, I did.

Gib.

And dee yee ken her te?

Liss.

It was Donna Violante his Daughter; what
the Devil makes him so inquisitive? Here is something
in it, that’s certain: ’Tis a cold Morning Brother,
what think you of a Dram?

Gib.

In troth, very weel Sir.

Liss.

You seem an honest Fellow, prithy lets Drink
to our better Acquaintance.

Gib.

Wi aw my Heart, Sir, gang yer gate to the
next House, and Ise follow ye.――

Liss.

Come along then.

Exit.

Gib.

Don Pedro de Mendosa.――Donna Violante his
Daughter, that’s as right as my Leg now.――Ise need na
meer, I’ll tak a Drink an then to my Master.

Ise bring him News will mak his Heart full Blee,

Gin he rewards it not, Deel Pimp for me.

Exit.
Act 46
C11v

Act IV.

Scene, Violante’s Lodgings.

Enter Isabella in a gay Temper, and Violante out of
Humour

Isab.

My Dear, I have been seeking you this half
Hour, to tell you the most lucky Adventure.

Vio.

And you have pitch’d upon the most unlucky
Hour for it, that you cou’d possibly have found in the
whole four and Twenty.

Isab.

Hang unlucky Hours, I won’t think of them;
I hope all my Misfortunes are past.

Vio.

And mine all to come.

Isab.

I have seen the Man I like.

Vio.

And I have seen the Man that I cou’d wish to
hate.

Isab.

And you must assist me in discovering whether
he can like me, or not.

Vio.

You have assisted me in such a Discovery already,
I thank ye.

Isab.

What say you my Dear?

Vio.

I say I am very unlucky at Discoveries Isabella;
I have too lately made one pernicious to my Ease,
your Brother is false.

Isab.

Impossible!

Vio.

Most true.

Isab.

Some Villain has traduc’d him to you.

Vio.

No, Isabella, I love too well to trust the Eyes
of others; I never Credit the ill judging World, or
form Suspicions upon vulgar Censures; no, I had Ocular
Proof of his Ingratitude.

Isab. C12r 47

Isab.

Then I am most unhappy; my Brother was the
only Pledge of Faith betwixt us, if he has forfeited
your Favour, I have no Title to your Friendship.

Vio.

You wrong my Friendship, Isabella; Your own
Merit intitles you to every thing within my Power.

Isab.

Generous Maid—But may I not know what
Grounds you have to think my Brother False.

Vio.

Another time.――But tell me, Isabella, how
can I serve you?

Isab.

Thus then—The Gentleman that brought me
hither, I have seen and talk’d with, upon the Terreiro
de passa
this Morning, and find him a Man of Sense
Generosity, and good Humour, in short he is every
Thing I cou’d like for a Husband, and I have dispatch’d
Mrs. Flora to bring him hither; I hope you’ll
forgive the Liberty I have taken.

Vio.

Hither, to what Purpose?

Isab.

To the great universal Purpose Matrimony.

Vio.

Matrimony! Why do you design to ask him?

Isab.

No, Violante, you must do that for me.

Vio.

I thank you for the Favour you design me, but
desire to be excus’d: I manage my own Affairs too
ill, to be trusted with those of other People; besides,
if my Father shou’d find a Stranger here, it might
make him hurry me into a Monastery immediately; I
can’t for my Life admire your Conduct, to encourage
a Person altogether unknown to you.――’Twas very
Imprudent to meet him this Morning, but much more
so, to send for him hither, knowing what Inconveniency
you have already drawn upon me.

Isab.

I am not insensible how far my Misfortunes
have embarrrst you; and if you please, sacrifice my
Quiet to your own.

Vio.

Unkindly urg’d—Have I not preferr’d your
Happiness to every Thing that’s dear to me.

Isab.

I know thou hast—Then do not deny me this
last Request, which in a few Hours perhaps, may renderderC12v 48
my Condition, able to clear thy Fame, and bring
my Brother to thy Feet for Pardon.

Vio.

I wish you don’t repent of this Intrigue. I
suppose he knows you are the same Woman that he
brought in here last Night.

Isab.

Not a Syllable of that, I met him vail’d, and
to prevent his knowing the House, I order’d Mrs. Flora
to bring him by the back Door into the Garden.

Vio.

The very Way which Felix comes, If they
should meet, there would be Fine Work—Indeed my
Dear I can’t approve of your Design.

Enter Flora.

Flo.

Madam the Colonel waits your Pleasure.

Vio.

How durst you go upon such a Message Mistress
without acquainting me.

Isab.

’Tis too late to dispute that now, dear Violante,
I acknowledge the Rashness of the Action—But consider
the Necessity of my Deliverance.

Vio.

That is indeed a weighty Consideration, well,
what am I to do.

Isab.

In the next Room I’ll give you Instructions, in
the mean time Mrs. Flora show the Colonel into this.

Exit Flora one Way, and Isabella
and Violante another.
Re-Enter Flora with the Colonel.

Flo.

The Lady will wait on you presently Sir,

Exit.

Col.

Very well—This is a very fruitful Soil, I have
not been here quite four and twenty Hours, and I have
three Intrigues upon my Hands already, but I hate
the Chase, without partaking the Game. Enter Violante vail’d. Ha, a fine siz’d Woman—Pray Heaven
she proves Handsome—I am come to obey your Ladyship’s
Commands.

Vio. Are D1r 49

Vio.

Are you sure of that, Colonel?

Col.

If you be not very unreasonable indeed, Madam;
a Man is but a Man.

Takes her Hand, and
kisses it.

Vio.

Nay, We have no Time for Compliments, Colonel.

Col.

I understand you, Madam――Montre moy votre
Chambre.

Takes her in his Arms.

Vio.

Nay, nay hold Colonel, my Bed-Chamber
is not to be enter’d without a certain Purchase.

Col.

Purchase! Humph, This is some kept Mistress,
I suppose; who industriously lets out her leisure Hours.
Aside. Look ye, Madam, you must consider we Soldiers
are not over stock’d with Money.――But we make
ample Satisfaction in Love; we have a world of Courage
upon our Hands now, you know:――Then prithy
use a Conscience, and I’ll try if my Pocket can come
up to your Price.

Puts his Hands into his Pocket.

Vio.

Nay, don’t give your self the trouble of drawing
your Purse Colonel, my Design is level’d at your
Person, if that be at your own disposal.

Col.

Ay, that it is Faith Madam, and I’ll settle it as
firmly upon thee.――

Vio.

As Law can do it.

Col.

Hang Law in love Affairs, thou shalt have
Right and Title to it out of pure Inclination.――A Matrimonial
Hint again! Gad, I fancy the Women have a
Project on foot to transplant the Union into Portugal.

Vio.

Then you have an aversion to Matrimony, Colonel;
did you never see a Woman, in all your Travels,
that you cou’d like for a Wife?

Col.

A very odd Question.――Do you really expect
that I shou’d speak Truth now?

Vio.

I do, if you expect to be so dealt with, Colonel.

Col.

Why then.――Yes.

D Vio. D1v 50

Vio.

Is she in your own Country, or this?

Col.

This is a very pretty kind of a Catechism; but
I don’t conceive which way it turns to Edification: In
this Town I believe Madam.

Vio.

Her Name is.――

Col.

Ay, How is she call’d, Madam!

Vio.

Nay, I ask you that, Sir.

Col.

Oh, ho, why she is call’d――Pray Madam,
how is it you Spell your Name?

Vio.

Oh, Colonel, I am not the happy Woman, nor
do I wish it.

Col.

No, I’m sorry for that.――What the Devil does
she mean by all these Questions?

Aside.

Vio.

Come Colonel, for once be Sincere.――Perhaps
you may not repent it.

Col.

Faith Madam, I have an Inclination to Sincerity,
but I’m afraid you’ll call my Manners into Question:
This is like to be but a silly Adventure, here’s so
much Sincerity required.

Aside.

Vio.

Not at all; I prefer Truth before Compliment
in this Affair.

Col.

Why then to be plain with you, Madam, a
Lady last Night wounded my Heart by a Fall from a
Window, whose Person I cou’d be contented to take,
as my Father took my Mother, till Death us doth
part:――But who she is, or how distinguish’d, whether
Maid, Wife, or Widow I can’t inform you, perhaps
you are she.

Vio.

Not to keep you in suspence, I am not She, but
I can give you an Account of Her; that Lady is a
Maid of Condition, has ten Thousand Pounds; and
if you are a single Man, her Person, and Fortune are
at your Service.

Col.

I accept the Offer with the highest Transports;
but say my charming Angel, art thou not she. Offers
to Embrace her.
This is a lucky Adventure.

Aside.

Vio.

Once again, Colonel, I tell you I am not she.―― ButD2r51
But at Six, this Evening you shall find her on the Terriero
de passa
, with a white Handkerchief in her Hand;
get a Priest ready, and you know the rest.

Col.

I shall infallibly observe your Directions, Madam.

Enter Flora hastily, and Whispers Violante, who starts
and seems surpriz’d.

Vio.

Ha Felix, crossing the Garden, say you, what
shall I do now?

Col.

You seem surpriz’d Madam.

Vio.

Oh, Colonel, my Father is coming hither, an
if he finds you here I am ruin’d!

Col.

Odslife Madam, thrust me any where, can’t I
go out this way?

Vio.

No, no, no, he comes that way, how shall I
prevent their Meeting? Here, here, step into my BedChamber
and be still, as you value her you love; don’t
stir till you’ve Notice, as ever you hope to have her in
your Arms.

Col.

On that Condition I’ll not breath. Exit.

Enter Felix.

Fel.

I wonder where my Dog of a Servant is all
this while.――But she’s at Home I find.――How coldly
she regards me.――You look Violante as if the sight of
me were troublesome.

Vio.

Can I do otherways, when you have the Assurance
to approach me, after what I saw to Day.

Fel.

Assurance, rather call it good Nature, after
what I heard last Night; but such regard to Honour,
have I in my Love to you, I cannot bear to be suspected,
nor suffer you to entertain false Notions of my
Truth, without endeavouring to convince you of my
Innocence, so much good Nature have I more than
you Violante.――Pray give me leave to ask your WomanD2manD2v52
one Question; my Man assures me she was the
Person you saw at my Lodgings.

Flo.

I confess it, Madam, and ask your Pardon.

Vio.

Impudent Baggage, not to undeceive me sooner,
what Business cou’d you have there?

Fel.

Lissardo and she it seems imitate You and I.

Flo.

I love to follow the Example of my Betters,
Madam.

Fel.

I hope I am justify’d.――

Vio.

Since we are to part, Felix, there needed no
Justification.

Fel.

Methinks you talk of parting, as a Thing indifferent
to you; can you forget how I have lov’d?

Vio.

I wish I cou’d forget my own Passion; I shou’d
with less Concern remember yours.――But for Mrs.
Flora
.――

Fel.

You must forgive her;――Must did I say? I fear
I have no Power to Impose, tho’ the Injury was done
to me.

Vio.

’Tis harder to Pardon an Injury done to what
we love than to our selves, but at your Request, Felix,
I do forgive her; go watch my Father, Flora, least he
shou’d wake, and surprize us.

Flo.

Yes, Madam.

Exit Flora.

Fel.

Dost thou then love me, Violante?

Vio.

What need of Repetition from my Tongue,
when every Look confesses what you ask?

Fel.

Oh! Let no Man judge of Love but those who
feel it, what wondrous Magick lies in one kind
Look.――One tender Word destroys a Lover’s Rage,
and melts his fiercest Passion into soft Complaint. Oh
the Window, Violante, woud’st thou but clear that
one Suspicion!

Vio.

Prithy no more of that, my Felix, a little time
shall bring thee perfect Satisfaction.

Fel.

Well Violante, on that Condition you think
no more of a Monastery.――I’ll wait with Patience for
this Mighty Secret.

Vio. D3r 53

Vio.

Ah Felix, Love generally gets the better of Religion
in us Women. Resolutions made in heat of Passion,
ever dissolve upon Reconciliation.

Enter Flora hastily.

Flo.

Oh Madam, Madam, Madam, my Lord your Father
has been in the Garden, and lock’d the back
Door, and comes muttering to himself this way.

Vio.

Then we are caught: Now Felix we are undone.

Fel.

Heavens forbid, this is most unlucky; let me
step into your Bed-Chamber, he won’t look under the
Bed; there I may conceal my self.

runs to the Door,
and pushes it open a little.

Vio.

My Stars! If he goes in there he’ll find the
Colonel.――No, no, Felix, that’s no safe Place, my Father
often goes thither; and shou’d you Cough, or
Sneeze, we are lost.

Fel.

Either my Eyes deceiv’d me, or I saw a Man
within, I’ll watch him close.――She shall deal with
the Devil, if she conveys him out without my Knowledge.
Aside. What shall I do then?

Vio.

Bless me, how I tremble!

Flo.

Oh, Invention, Invention!――I have it Madam,
here, here, here Sir, off with your Sword, and I’ll fetch
you a Disguise.

Runs in and fetches out a Riding -Hood.

Fel.

Ay, ay, any Thing to avoid Don Pedro.

Vio.

Oh! Quick, quick, quick, I shall die with Apprehension.

Flora puts the Riding-Hood on Felix.

Flo.

Besure you don’t speak a Word!

Fel.

Not for the Indies.――But I shall observe you
closer than you imagine.

Pedro.

Within.

Violante where are you, Child,
Enter Don Pedro. Why, how came the Garden.
Door open? Ha! how now, who have we here?

Vio.

Humph, he’ll certainly discover him.

Aside. D3 Flo. D3v 54

Flo.

’Tis my Mother, and please you, Sir.

She and
Felix both Curtesy.

Pedro.

Your Mother! By St.Saint Anthony she’s a strapper;
why, you are a Dwarf to her.――How many
Children have you good Woman?

Vio.

Oh! if he speaks we are lost.

Aside.

Flo.

Oh! Dear Senior, she can’t hear you, she has
been Deaf these twenty Years.

Pedro.

Alas poor Woman.――Why, you Muffle her
up as if she were Blind too.

Fel.

Wou’d I were fairly off.

Aside.

Pedro.

Turn up her Hood.

Vio.

Undone for ever.――St.Saint Anthony forbid: Oh
Sir, she has the dreadfullest unlucky Eyes.――Pray
don’t look upon them, I made her keep her Hood shut
on Purpose.――Oh, oh, oh!

Pedro.

Eyes! Why, what’s the Matter with her
Eyes?

Flo.

My poor Mother, Sir, is much afflicted with
the Cholick; and about two Months ago she had it
grievously in her Stomach, and was over-persuaded to
take a Dram of filthy English Geneva.――Which immediately
flew up into her Head, and caus’d such a Deluxion
in her Eyes, that she cou’d never since
bear the Day-Light.

Pedro.

Say you so.――Poor Woman!――Well, make
her sit down, Violante, and give her a Glass of Wine.

Vio.

Let her Daughter give her a Glass below, Sir,
for my Part, she has frighted me so, I shan’t be my
self these two Hours. I am sure her Eyes are evil Eyes.

Fel.

Well hinted.

Pedro.

Well, well, do so, evil Eyes, there is no
evil Eyes Child.

Ex.exit Felix and Flora.

Vio.

I’m glad he’s gone.

Pedro.

Hast thou heard the News, Violante?

Vio.

What News, Sir?

Pedro. D4r 55

Pedro.

Why, Vasquez tells me that Don Lopez’s
Daughter Isabella, is run away from her Father, that
Lord has very ill Fortune with his Children.――Well,
I’m glad my Daughter has no Inclination to Mankind,
that my House is plagu’d with no Suitors.

Aside.

Vio.

This is the first Word I ever heard of it, I
pity her Frailty.――

Pedro.

Well said Violante.――Next Week I intend
thy Happiness shall begin.

Enter Flora.

Vio.

I don’t intend to stay so long, I thank you, Pa,
pa.

Aside.

Pedro.

My Lady Abbess writes Word she longs to see
thee, and has provided every Thing in order for thy
Reception.――Thou wilt lead a happy Life my Girl.――
Fifty times before that of Matrimony, where an extravagant
Coxcomb might make a Beggar of thee, or an
ill Natur’d surly Dog break thy Heart.

Flo.

Break her Heart! She had as good have her
Bones broke as to be a Nun; I am sure I had, rather of
the two.――You are wondrous kind, Sir, but if I had
such a Father, I know what I wou’d do.

Pedro.

Why, what wou’d you do Minx, ha?

Flo.

I wou’d tell him I had as good Right and Title
to the Laws of Nature, and the End of the Creation,
as he had.――

Pedro.

You wou’d Mistress, who the Devil doubts
it! A good Assurance is a Chamber-Maid’s Coat of
Arms; and lying, and contriving the Supporters.――
Your Inclinations are on Tip-toe it seems.――If I were
your Father, Housewife, I’d have a Penance enjoyn’d
you, so strict, that you shou’d not be able to turn
you in your Bed for a Month.――You are enough to
spoil your Lady Housewife, if she had not abundance
of Devotion.

D4 Vio. D4v 56

Vio.

Fye, Flora, Are not you asham’d to talk thus to
my Father? You said Yesterday you wou’d be glad to
go with me to the Monastery.

Pedro.

She go with thee! No, no, she’s enough to
Debauch the whole Convent.――Well Child, remember
what I said to thee, next Week.

Vio.

Ay, and what am I to do this too.―― Aside.
I am all Obedience, Sir, I care not how soon I
change my Condition.

Flo.

But little does he think what Change she
means.

Aside.

Pedro.

Well said Violante.――I am glad to find her
so willing to leave the World, but it is wholly owing
to my Prudent Management; did she know that she
might command her Fortune when she came at Age,
or upon Day of Marriage, Perhaps she’d change her
Note.――but I have always told her that her GrandFather
left it with this Proviso, That she turn’d Nun,
now a small Part of this twenty Thousand Pounds
provides for her in the Nunnery, and the rest is my
own; there is nothing to be got in this Life without
Policy. Aside. Well Child, I am going into the
Country for two or three Days, to settle some Affairs
with thy Unkle.――And then.――Come help me on with
my Cloak, Child.

Vio.

Yes Sir.

Exit. Pedro and Violante.

Flo.

So now for the Colonel. Goes to the Chamber
Door.
Hist, hist Colonel.

Colonel peeping.

Col.

Is the Coast clear?

Flo.

Yes, if you can Climb, for you must get over
the Wash-House, and Jump from the Garden-Wall
into the Street.

Col.

Nay, nay, I don’t value my Neck if my Incognita
Answers but thy Lady’s Promise.

Exit
Colonel and Flora.
Re- D5r 57 Re-enter Pedro and Violante.

Pedro.

Good bye Violante, take Care of thy self, Child.

Vio.

I wish you a good Journey, Sir.――Now to set
my Prisoner at Liberty.

Enter Felix behind Violante.

Fel.

I have lain Perdue under the Stairs, till I watch’d
the old Man out.

Vio.

Sir, Sir, you may appear.

Goes to the Door.

Fel.

May he so, Madam.――I had Cause for my Suspicion,
I find, treacherous Woman.

Vio.

Ha, Felix here! Nay then, all’s discover’d.

Fel.

Draws. Villain, who e’er thou art, come out
I charge thee, and take the Reward of thy Adulterous
Errand.

Vio.

What shall I say.――Nothing but the Secret
which I have Sworn to keep can reconcile this Quarrel.

Aside.

Fel.

A Coward! Nay, then I’ll fetch you out,
think not to hide thy self; no, by St.Saint Anthony, an
Altar should not Protect thee, even there I’d reach
thy Heart, tho’ all the Saints were arm’d in thy Defence.

Vio.

Defend me Heaven! What shall I do? I must
discover Isabella, or here will be Murder.

Enter Flora.

Flo.

I have help’d the Colonel off clear, Madam.

Vio.

Say’st thou my Girl? Then I am arm’d.

Re-enter Felix.

Fel.

Where has the Devil in Complaisance to your
Sex convey’d him from my just Resentments.

Vio.

Him, who do you mean my dear inquisitive
Spark? Ha, ha, ha, ha, will you never leave these
Jealous Whims?

D5 Fel. D5v 58

Fel.

Will you never cease to Impose upon me?

Vio.

You impose upon your self, my Dear, do you
think I did not see you? Yes, I did, and resolv’d to
put this Trick upon you; I knew you’d take the
Hint, and soon relapse into your wonted Error: how
easily your Jealousy is fir’d, I shall have a blessed Life
with you.

Fel.

Was there nothing in it then, but only to try me?

Vio.

Won’t you believe your Eyes?

Fel.

No, because I find they have deceiv’d me;
well, I am convinc’d that Faith is as necessary in
Love as in Religion; for the Moment a Man lets a
Woman know her Conquest, he resigns his Senses, and
sees nothing but what she’d have him.

Vio.

And as soon as that Man finds his Love return’d,
she becomes as errant a Slave, as if she had
already said after the Priest.

Fel.

The Priest, Violante, wou’d dissipate those
Fears which cause these Quarrels; when wilt thou
make me Happy?

Vio.

To-Morrow I will tell thee, my Father is gone
for two or three Days to my Uncles, we have time
enough to finish our Affairs.――But prithy leave me
now, for I expect some Ladies to Visit me.

Fel.

If you Command it.――Fly swift ye Hours, and
bring to-Morrow on.――You desire I wou’d leave you,
Violante.

Vio.

I do at present.

Fel.

So much you reign the Sovereign of my Soul,

That I obey without the least Controul.

Exit.
Enter Isabella.

Isab.

I am glad my Brother and you are reconcil’d
my Dear, and the Colonel escap’d without his knowledge;
I was frighted out of my Wits when I heard
him return.――I know not how to express my Thanks Woman.―― forD6r59
for what you suffer’d for my Sake, my grateful Acknowledgements
shall ever wait you; and to the
World proclaim the Faith, Truth, and Honour of a
Woman――

Vio.

Prithy don’t Compliment thy Friend, Isabella.――
You heard the Colonel I suppose.

Isab.

Every Syllable, and am pleas’d to find I do
not Love in vain.

Vio.

Thou hast caught his Heart it seems; and an
Hour hence may secure his Person.――Thou hast made
hasty Work on’t Girl.

Isab.

From thence I draw my Happiness, we shall
have no Accounts to make up after Consummation.

She who for Years, protracts her Lover’s Pain,

And makes him Wish, and Wait, and Sigh in vain,

To be his Wife, when late she gives Consent,

Finds half his Passion was in Courtship spent;

Whilst they who boldly all Delays remove,

Find every Hour a fresh supply of Love.

Act V. D6v

Act V.

Scene, Frederick’s House.

Enter Felix and Frederick.

Fel.

This Hour has been propitious, I am reconcil’d
to Violante, and you assure me Antonio
is out of Danger.

Fred.

Your Satisfaction is doubly mine.

Enter Lissardo.

Fel.

What Haste you made Sirrah, to bring me
Word if Violante went home?

Liss.

I can give you very good Reasons for my stay
Sir.――Yes Sir, she went home.

Fred.

O! Your Master knows that, for he has been
there himself Lissardo.

Liss.

Sir, may I beg the Favour of your Ear.

Fel.

What have you to say?

Whispers, and Felix
seems uneasy.

Fred.

Ha, Felix changes Colour at Lissardo’s News.
What can it be?

Fel.

A Scots Footman, that belongs to Colonel Britton,
an Acquaintance of Frederick’s say you; the Devil!
If she be false, by Heaven I’ll trace her. Prithy Frederick
do you know one Colonel Britton a Scotsman?

Fred.

Yes, why do you ask me?

Fel.

Nay no great Matter, but my Man tells me that
he has had some little Difference with a Servant of his,
that’s all.

Fred.

He is a good harmless innocent Fellow, I am sorryD7r61
sorry for it; the Colonel lodges in my House, I knew
him formerly in England, and met him here by Accident
last Night, and gave him an Invitation home,
he is a Gentleman of a good Estate, besides his Commission;
of excellent Principles, and strict Honour I
assure you.

Fel.

Is he a Man of Intrigue?

Fred.

Like other men I suppose, here he comes.――Enter Colonel.
Colonel, I began to think I had lost you.

Col.

――And not without some Reasons if you knew
all.

Fel.

There’s no Danger of a fine Gentleman’s being
lost in this Town, Sir.

Col.

That Compliment don’t belong to me Sir. But
I assure you I have been very near being run away
with.

Fred.

Who attempted it?

Col.

Faith I know her not—Only that she is a
charming Woman, I mean as much as I saw of her.

Fel.

My Heart swells with Apprehension.――Some
accidental Rencounter.――

Fred.

A Tavern I suppose adjusted the Matter.――

Col.

A Tavern! No, no Sir, she is above that Rank
I assure you, this Nymph sleeps in a Velvet Bed, and
Lodgings every Way agreeable.

Fel.

Ha, a Velvet Bed!――I thought you said but
now Sir, you knew her not.

Col.

No more I don’t Sir.

Fel.

How came you then so well acquainted with
her Bed?

Fred.

Ay, ay, come, come, unfold.

Col.

Why then you must know Gentleman, that I
was convey’d to her Lodgings, by one of Cupids Emissaries,
call’d a Chambermaid, in a Chair, thro’ fifty
blind Alleys, who by the help of a Key let me into a
Garden.

Fel. D7v 62

Fel.

S’Death, a Garden, this must be Violante’s
Garden.

Aside.

Col.

From thence conducted me into a spacious Room,
then dropt me a Courtesie, told me her Lady would
wait on me presently, so without unvailing modestly
withdrew.

Fel.

Damn her Modesty; this was Flora.

Aside.

Fred.

Well, how then Colonel?

Col.

Then Sir, immediately from another Door
issued forth a Lady, arm’d at both Eyes, from whence
such Showers of Darts fell round me, that had I not
been cover’d with the Shield of another Beauty, I
had infallibly fall’n a Martyr to her Charms; for you
must know I just saw her Eyes, Eyes did I say? No,
no, hold, I saw but one Eye, tho’ I suppose it had a
Fellow, equally as killing.

Fel.

But how came you to see her Bed Sir? S’Death
this Expectation gives a thousand Racks.

Aside.

Col.

Why upon her Maid’s giving Notice her Father
was coming she thrust me into the Bed-Chamber.

Fel.

Upon her Father’s coming?

Col.

Ay, so she said, but putting my Ear to the Keyhole
of the Door, I found it was another Lover.

Fel.

Confound the Jilt! ’Twas she without dispute.

Aside.

Fred.

Ah poor Colonel, ha, ha, ha.

Col.

I discover’d they had had a Quarrel, but whether
they were reconcil’d or not, I can’t tell, for the
second Alarm brought the Father in good earnest, and
had like to have made the Gentleman and I acquainted,
but she found some other Stratagem to convey him
out.

Fel.

Contagion seize her, and make her Body as ugly as
her Soul. There’s nothing left to doubt of now,――
’Tis plain ’twas she,――Sure he knows me, and takes this
Method to insult me, S’Death I cannot bear it.

Aside.

Fred.

So when she had dispatch’d her old Lover, she paidD8r63
paid you a Visit in her Bed-Chamber, ha, Colonel?

Col.

No, Pox take the impertinent Puppy, he spoil’d
my Diversion, I saw her no more.

Fel.

Very fine! Give me Patience Heaven, or I shall
burst with Rage.

Aside.

Fred.

That was hard.

Col.

Nay, what was worse, the Nymph that introduc’d
me convey’d me out again over the Top of a
high Wall, where I ran the Danger of having my
Neck broke, for the Father it seems had lock’d the
Door by which I enter’d.

Fel.

That Way I miss’d him:――Damn her Invention.
Aside. Pray Colonel was this the same Lady
you met upon the Terrerio de passa this Morning?

Col.

Faith I can’t tell Sir, I had a Design to know
who that Lady was, but my Dog of a Footman, whom
I had order’d to watch her home, fell fast a Sleep—
I gave him a good beating for his Neglect, and I have
never seen the Rascal since.

Fred.

Here he comes.

Enter Gibby.

Col.

Where have you been Sirrah?

Gib.

Troth Ise been seeking yee an like yer Honor
these twa Hoors an meer, I bring yee glad Teedings
Sir.

Col.

What have you found the Lady.

Gib.

Gued Faith ha I Sir――an Shee’s call’d Donna
Violante
, and her Parent Don Pedro de Mendosa, an
gin yee wull gang wa mi, an’t like ye’r honor, Ise mak
yee ken the Huse right weel.

Fel.

Oh, Torture! Torture!

Aside.

Col.

Ha! Violante! That’s the Lady’s Name of the
House where my Incognita is, sure it cou’d not be her,
at least it was not the same House I’m confident.

Aside.

Fred.

Violante! ’Tis false, I wou’d not have you credit
him Colonel.

Gib. D8v 64

Gib.

The Deel brust my Blader, Sir gin I lee.

Fel.

Sirrah, I say you do lye, and I’ll make you eat
it you Dog. kicks him and if your Master will justify
you――

Col.

Not I faith Sir—I answer for no body’s Lyes,
but my own, if you please kick him again.

Gib.

But gin he dus, Ise ne tak it Sir, gin he was a
thousand Spaniards.

walks about in a Passion.

Col.

I ow’d you a beating Sirrah, and I’m oblig’d to
this Gentleman for taking the Trouble off my Hands,
therefore say no more, d’ye hear Sir?

Aside to Gibby.

Gib.

Troth de I Sir, and feel tee.

Fred.

This must be a Mistake, Colonel, for I know
Violante perfectly well, and I’m certain she would not
meet you upon the Terriero de passa.

Col.

Don’t be too positive Frederick, now I have
some Reasons to believe it was that very Lady.

Fel.

You’d very much oblige me Sir, if you’d let me
know these Reasons.

Col.

Sir.

Fel.

Sir, I say I have a right to enquire into those
Reasons you speak off.

Col.

Ha, ha, really Sir I cannot conceive how you,
or any Man can have a right to enquire into my
Thoughts.

Fel.

Sir I have a Right to every Thing that relates
to Violante――And he that traduces her Fame, and
refuses to give his Reasons for’t is a Villain.

Draws.

Col.

What the Devil have I been doing; now Blisters
on my Tongue, by Dozens.

Aside.

Fred.

Prithy Felix don’t quarrel till you know for
what, this is all a Mistake I’m positive.

Col.

Look ye Sir, that I dare draw my Sword I think
will admit of no Dispute.――But tho’ fighting’s my
Trade, I’m not in Love with it, and think it more
honourable to decline this Business, than pursue it.
This may be a Mistake, however I’ll give you my HonourD9r65
Honour never to have any Affair directly, or indirectly
with Violante provided she is your Violante; but if there
shou’d happen to be another of her Name I hope you
wou’d not engross all the Violantes in the Kingdom.

Fel.

Your Vanity has given me sufficient Reasons to
believe I’m not mistaken, I’m not to be impos’d upon
Sir.

Col.

Nor I bully’d Sir.

Fel.

Bully’d! S’Death, such another Word, and I’ll
nail thee to the Wall.

Col.

Are you sure of that Spaniard.

Draws.

Gib.

Draws Say na meer Mon, aw my Sol here’s
Twa, to Twa, dona fear Sir, Gibby stonds by yee for
the Honor a Scotland.

Vapers about.

Fred.

By St.Saint Anthony you shan’t fight Interposes on
bare Suspicion, be certain of the Injury, and then.――

Fel.

That I will this Moment, and then Sir—I hope
you are to be found—

Col.

When ever you please Sir.

Exit Felix.

Gib.

S’bleed Sir, there neer was Scotsman yet that
sham’d to shew his Face.

strutting about.

Fred.

obscuredQuarrels spring up like Mushrooms, in a
Minute: Violante, and he, was but just reconcil’d, and
you have furnish’d him with fresh Matter for falling
out again, and I am certain Colonel, Gibby is in the
Wrong.

Gib.

Gin I be Sir, the Mon that tald me leed, and
gin he dud, the Deel be my Landlard, Hell my Winter
Quarters, and a Rope my Winding Sheet, Gin I
dee no lik him as lang as I can hold a Stick in my
Hond, now see yee.

Col.

I am sorry for what I have said, for the Lady’s
Sake, but who could divine, that she was his Mistress,
prithy who is this warm Spark?

Fred.

He is the son of one of our Grandees, nam’d
Don Lopez de Pementell, a very honest Gentleman, but
something passionate in what relates to his Love.――He isD9v66
is an only Son, which perhaps may be one Reason for
indulging his Passion.

Col.

When Parents have but one Child, they either
make a Madman, or a Fool of him.

Fred.

He is not the only Child, he has a Sister, but
I think thro’ the Severity of his Father, who would
have married her against her Inclination, she has made
her escape, and notwithstanding he has offer’d five
hundred Pounds, he can get no Tydings of her.

Col.

Ha! How long has she been missing?

Fred.

Nay, but since last Night, it seems.

Col.

Last Night! The very Time! How went she?

Fred.

No body can tell, they conjecture thro’ the
Window.

Col.

I’m transported! This must be the Lady I caught;
What sort of a Woman is she?

Fred.

Middle siz’d, a lovely brown, a fine pouting
Lip, Eyes that roul and languish, and seem to speak
the exquisite Pleasure that her Arms could give!

Col.

Oh! I’m fir’d with his Description—’Tis the
very she—What’s her Name?

Fred.

Isabella—You are transported Colonel.

Col.

I have a natural Tendency in me to the Flesh,
thou know’st, and who can hear of Charms so exquisite,
and yet remain unmov’d? Oh, how I long for the appointed
Hour! I’ll go to the Terreiro de passa, and wait
my Happiness, if she fails to meet me, I’ll once more
attempt to find her at Violante’s in spite of her Brother’s
Jealousy. Aside Dear Frederick I beg your Pardon but
I had forgot, I was to meet a Gentleman upon Business
at Five, I’ll endeavour to dispatch him, and wait
on you again as soon as possible.――

Fred.

Your humble Servant Colonel.

Exit.

Col.

Gibby I have no Business with you at present.

Exit Colonel.

Gib.

That’s weel—naw will I gang and seck this
Loon, and gar him gang with me to Don Pedro’s Huse――D10r67
Huse――Gin he will no gang of himsel, Ise gar him gang
by the Lug Sir; Godswarbit Gibby hates a Lear.

Exit.
Scene changes to Violante’s Lodgings. Enter Violante and Isabella.

Isab.

The Hour draws on Violante, and now my Heart
begins to fail me, but I resolve to venture for all that.

Vio.

What does your Courage sink Isabella?

Isab.

Only the Force of Resolution a little retreated,
but I’ll rally it again for all that.

Enter Flora.

Flo.

Don Felix is coming up Madam!

Isab.

My Brother! Which way shall I get out—
Dispatch him as soon as you can dear Violante.

Exit into the Closet.

Vio.

I will. Enter Felix in a surly Posture. Felix,
what brings you back so soon, did not I say to-morrow?

Fel.

My Passion choaks me, I cannot speak, oh I
shall burst! Aside. Throws himself into a Chair.

Vio.

Bless me! are you not well my Felix?

Fel.

Yes,――No,――I don’t know what I am.

Vio.

Hey Day! What’s the Matter now? Another
jealous Whim!

Fel.

With what an Air she carries it.――I sweat at
her Impudence.

Aside.

Vio.

If I were in your Place, Felix, I’d chuse to
stay at home, when these Fits of Spleen were upon me,
and not trouble such Persons as are not oblig’d to bear
with them.

Here he affects to be careless of her.

Fel.

I am very sensible Madam of what you mean:
I disturb you no doubt, but were I in a better Humour
I shou’d not incommode you less. I am but too well
convinc’d that you could easily dispence with my Visit.

Vio.

When you behave your self as you ought to
do no Company so welcome—But when you reserve
me for your ill Nature, I wave your Merit, and considersiderD10v 68
what’s due to my self――And I must be so free to
tell you Felix, that these Humors of yours will abate, if
not absolutely destroy the very Principles of Love.

Fel.

Rising And I must be so free to tell you Madam,
that since you have made such ill Returns to the
Respect I have paid you, all you do shall be indifferent
to me for the Future, and you shall find me abandon
your Empire with so little Difficulty, that I’ll convince
the World your Chains are not so hard to break
as your Vanity would tempt you to believe—I cannot
brook the Provocations you give.

Vio.

This is not to be born—Insolent! You abandon!
You! Whom I have so often forbad to ever to see
me more! Have you not fall’n at my Feet? Implor’d
my Favour and Forgivenes—Did you not trembling
wait, and wish, and sigh, and swear your self into my
Heart? Ingrateful Man! If my Chains are so easily
broke as you pretend, then you are the silliest Coxcomb
living, you did not break ’em long ago; and I
must think him capable of brooking anything on whom
such Usage could make no Impression.

Isab.

Peeping. A Duce take your Quarrels she’ll
never think on me.

Fel.

I always believed, Madam, my Weakness was
the greatest Addition to your Power, you would be
less Imperious, had my Inclination been less forward to
oblige you.――You have indeed forbad me your Sight,
but your Vanity even then assured you I would return,
and I was Fool enough to feed your Pride.――
Your Eyes, with all their boasted Charms, have acquired
the greatest Glory in conquering me.――And the
brightest Passage of your Life is, wounding this Heart
with such Arms as pierce but few Persons of my Rank.

Walks about in a great Pet.

Vio.

Matchless Arrogance! True Sir, I should have
kept Measures better with you, if the Conquest had
been worth preserving, but we easily hazard what givesD11r 69
gives us no Pain to loose.――As for my Eyes, you are
mistaken if you think they have vanquished none but
you; there are Men above your boasted Rank who have
confess’d their Power, when their Misfortune in pleasing
you made them obtain such a disgraceful Victory.

Fel.

Yes Madam, I am no Stranger to your Victories.

Vio.

And what you call the brightest Passage of my
Life, is not the least glorious Part of yours.

Fel.

Ha, ha, don’t put your self into a Passion, Madam,
for I assure you after this Day I shall give you no
Trouble.――You may meet your Sparks on the Terriero
de Passa
at Four in the Morning, without the least
Regard of mine.――For when I quit your Chamber, the
World shan’t bring me back.

Vio.

I am so well pleas’d with your Resolution, I
don’t care how soon you take your leave.――But what
you mean by the Terreiro de passa at Four in the Morning
I can’t guess.

Fel.

No, no, no, not you.――You was not upon the Terriero de passa at Four this Morning.

Vio.

No, I was not; but if I was, I hope I may
Walk where I please, and at what Hour I please
without asking you leave.

Fel.

Oh, doubtless Madam! And you might meet
Colonel Britton there, and afterwards send your Emissary
to fetch him to your House.――And upon your
Father’s coming in, thrust him into your Bed-Chamber
—without asking my leave. ’Tis no Business of
mine if you are exposed among all the Foot-Men in
Town.――Nay, if they Ballad you, and cry you about at
a half-Penny a piece.――They may without my Leave.

Vio.

Audacious! Don’t provoke me――Don’t; my
Reputation is not to be sported with Going up to him.
at this rate.――No Sir, it is not. bursts into Tears. Inhuman
Felix!――Oh Isabella, what a Train of Ills
hast thou brought on me?

Fel.

Ha! I cannot bear to see her Weep.――A Woman’sman’sD11v70
Tears are far more Fatal than our Swords.
Aside. Oh Violante.――S’Death! What a Dog am I?
Now have I no Power to stir:――Dost not thou know
such a Person as Colonel Britton? Prithy tell me, did’st
not thou meet him at Four this Morning upon the Terreiro
de passa
?

Vio.

Were it not to clear my Fame, I would not
answer thee thou black Ingrate!――But I cannot bear
to be reproach’d with what I even Blush to think of,
much less to act; by Heaven I have not seen the Terreiro
de passa
this Day.

Fel.

Did not a Scots Foot-Man attack you in the
Street neither Violante?

Vio.

Yes, but he mistook me for another, or he was
Drunk, I know not which.

Fel.

And do not you know this Scots Colonel?

Vio.

Pray ask me no more Questions, this Night shall
clear my Reputation, and leave you without Excuse
for your base Suspicions; more than this I shall not
satisfie you, therefore Pray leave me.

Fel.

Didst thou ever love me, Violante?

Vio.

I’ll answer nothing.――You was in haste to be
gone just now, I should be very well pleas’d to be
alone, Sir.

She sits down, and turns aside.

Fel.

I shall not long interrupt your Contemplation
――Stubborn to the last.

Aside.

Vio.

Did ever Woman involve her self as I have done?

Fel.

Now wou’d I give one of my Eyes to be Friends
with her, for something whispers to my Soul she is
not guilty.―― He pauses, then pulls a Chair, and sits
by her at a little distance, looking at her some time
without speaking――Then draws a little nearer to her.

Give me your Hand at parting however Violante, won’t
you, Here he lays his open upon her Knee several times.
won’t you—won’t you—won’t you?

Vio.

Half regarding him. Won’t I do what?

Fel.

You know what I wou’d have, Violante, Oh
my Heart!

Vio. D12r 71

Vio.

Smiling. I thought my Chains were easily
broke.

Lays her Hand into his.

Fel.

Draws his Chair close to her, and kisses her
Hand in a Rapture.
Too well thou knowest thy
Strength.――Oh my charming Angel, my Heart is all
thy own, forgive my hasty Passion, ’tis the transport of
a Love sincere!

Don Pedro within.

Pedro.

Bid Sancho get a New Wheel to my Chariot
presently.

Vio.

Bless me! My Father return’d! What shall
we do now Felix? We are ruin’d, past Redemption.

Fel.

No, no, no, my Love, I can leap from thy
Closet Window.

Runs to the Door where Isabella is,
who claps too the Door, and Bolts it within side.

Isab.

Peeping.

Say you so, But I shall prevent you.

Fel.

Confusion! Some Body bolts the Door within
side, I’ll see who you have conceal’d here if I dye for’t;
Oh Violante! Hast thou again sacrific’d me to my Rival?

Draws.

Vio.

By Heaven thou hast no Rival in my Heart,
let that suffice—nay sure you will not let my Father
find You here—Distraction!

Fel.

Indeed but I shall—except You command this
Door to be open’d, and that way conceal me from his
Sight.

He struggles with her to come at the Door.

Vio.

Hear me Felix――tho’ I were sure the refusing
what you ask would separate us for ever, by all that’s
powerful You should not enter here, either You do
love me, or You do not, convince me by Your Obedience.

Fel.

That’s not the Matter in debate—I will know
who is in this Closet, let the Consequence be what it
will. Nay, nay, nay, You strive in vain, I will go in.

Vio.

You shall not go in—

Ent D12v 72 Enter Don Pedro.

Ped.

Hey day! What’s here to do! I will go in,
and You shan’t go in,—and I will go in—why
who are you Sir?

Fel.

’Sdeath! What shall I say now!

Ped.

Don Felix, pray what’s your Business in my
House? Ha Sir?

Vio.

Oh Sir, what Miracle return’d you home so
soon? Some Angel ’twas that brought my Father back
to succour the Distress’d—this Ruffian here I cannot
call him Gentleman—has committed such an uncommon
rudeness, as the most profligate Wretch wou’d
be asham’d to own――

Fel.

Ha, what the Devil does she mean!

Aside.

Vio.

As I was at my Devotion in my Closet, I heard
a loud Knocking at our Door, mix’d with a Woman’s
Voice, which seem’d to imply she was in Danger――

Fel.

I am confounded!

Aside.

Vio.

I flew to the Door with the utmost speed, where a
Lady vail’d rushed in upon me, who falling on her
Knees begg’d my Protection, from a Gentleman whom
she said persued her, I took Compassion on her Tears,
and locked her into this Closet, but in the Surprize having
left open the Door, this very Person whom You
see, with his drawn Sword ran in; protesting, if I refused
to give her up to his Revenge, he’d force the Door.

Fel.

What in the Name of Goodness, does she mean
to do! Hang me.

Aside.

Vio.

I strove with him till I was out of Breath, and
had You not come as You did he must have enter’d――
but he’s in Drink I suppose, or he could not have been
guilty of such an Indecorum.

Leering at Felix.

Ped.

I am amazed!

Fel.

The Devil never fail’d a Woman at a Pinch,
what a Tale has she form’d in a Minute—in Drink
quotha, a good Hint, I’ll lay hold on’t to bring my
self off.

Aside. Ped. E1r 73

Ped.

Fie Don Felix! No sooner rid of one Broil,
but you are commencing another—to assault a Lady
with a naked Sword, derogates much from the Character
of a Gentleman, I assure You.

Fel.

Counterfeits Drunkenness Who, I assault a
Lady—upon Honour the Lady assaulted me Sir, and
would have seiz’d this Body Politick upon the King’s
High-way—let her come out, and deny it if she can
—pray Sir command the Door to be open’d, and let
her prove me a Lyar if she knows how――I have been
drinking right French Claret Sir, but I love my own
Country for all that.

Ped.

Ay, ay, who doubts it Sir?――Open the Door
Violante, and let the Lady come out,――come I warrant
thee, he shan’t hurt her.

Fel.

Ay, now which way will she come off!

Vio.

Unlocks the Door come forth Madam, none
shall dare to touch your Vail—I’ll convey You out
with Safety, or loose my Life—I hope she understands
me. Aside

Enter Isabella Vail’d, and crosses the Stage.

Isab.

Excellent Girl!

Exit.

Fel.

The Devil! A Woman! I’ll see if she be really
so.

Offers to follow her.

Ped.

Draws Not a Step Sir till the Lady be past
your Recovery.――I never suffer the Laws of Hospitality
to be violated in my House Sir.――I’ll keep
Don Felix here till you see her safe out Violante.

Vio.

Get clear of my Father, and follow me to the
Terreiro de Passa, where all Mistakes shall be rectifyed.

Aside to Felix. Exit Violante.

Ped.

Come Sir, you and I will take a Pipe and a
Bottle together.

Fel.

Damn your Pipe, Sir, I won’t smoak—I hate
Tobacco—Nor, I, I, I, I won’t drink Sir—No EnorE1v74
nor I won’t stay neither, and how will you help your
self?

Ped.

As to smoaking, or drinking, you have your
Liberty, but you shall stay Sir.

Gets between him
and the Door, Felix strikes up his Heels and Exit.

Fel.

Shall I so Sir—But I tell you old Gentleman I
am in haste to be married—and so God be with you.

Ped.

Go to the Devil—In haste to be married quotha,
thou art in a fine Condition to be married truly!

Enter a Servant.

Ser.

Here’s Don Lopez de Pimmentel to wait on you
Senior.

Ped.

What the Devil does he want? Bring him up
he’s in pursuit of his Son I suppose.

Enter Don Lopez.

Lop.

I am glad to find you at Home, Don Pedro, I
was told you was seen upon the Road to ――
this Afternoon.

Ped.

That might be my Lord, but I had the Misfortune
to break the Wheel of my Chariot, which
oblig’d me to return—What is your Pleasure with me
my Lord?

Lop.

I am inform’d that my Daughter is in your
House, Don Pedro.

Ped.

That’s more than I know my Lord, but here
was your Son just now as drunk as an Emperor.

Lop.

My Son drunk! I never saw him in Drink in
my Life, where is he pray Sir?

Ped.

Gone to be married.

Lop.

Married! To whom? I don’t know that he
courted any Body.

Ped.

Nay I know nothing of that—Within there! (EnterE2r75
Enter Servant. bid my Daughter come hither she’ll
tell you another Story my Lord.

Ser.

She’s gone out in a Chair Sir.

Ped.

Out in a Chair, what do you mean Sir?

Ser.

As I say Sir, and Donna Isabella went in another
just before her.

Ped.

Isabella!

Ser.

And Don Felix follow’d in another, I overheard
them all, bid their Chairs to go to the Terreiro de passa.

Ped.

Ha! What Business has my Daughter there?
I am confounded, and know not what to think.――
Within there.

Exit.

Lop.

My Heart misgives me plaguely—Call me a
Alguzile, I’ll persue them strait.

Scene changes to the Street before Don Pedro’s House. Enter Lissardo.

Liss.

I wish I could see Flora—Methinks I have an
hankering Kindness after the Slut—We must be
reconcil’d.

Enter Gibby.

Gib.

Aw my Sol, Sir, but Ise blithe to find yee
here now.

Liss.

Ha! Brother! Give me thy Hand Boy.

Gib.

Notse fast, se ye me—Brether me ne Brethers,
I scorn a Lyar as muckle as a Theife, se ye now, and
yee must gang intul this House with me, and justifie
to Donna Violante’s Face, that she was the Lady that
gang’d in here this Morn, see yee me, or the Deel
ha my Sol, Sir, but ye and I shall be twa Folks.

Liss.

Justify it to Donna Violante’s Face, quotha, for
what? Sure you don’t know what you say.

Gib.

Troth de I, Sir, as weel as yee de, therefore
come along, and mak no mear Words about it.

Knocks hastily at the Door. E2 Liss. E2v 76

Liss.

Why what the Devil do you mean? Don’t you
consider you are in Portugal. Is the Fellow mad?

Gib.

Fallow! Ise none of yer Fallow, Sir, and gin
this Place were Hell, id gar ye de me Justice, Liss.Lissardo
going
nay the Deel a Feet ye gang.

Lays hold of
him and Knocks again.
Enter Don Pedro.

Ped.

How now! What makes you knock so loud?

Gib.

Gin this be Don Pedro’s House, Sir, I wou’d
speak with Donna Violante his Doughter.

Liss.

Ha! Don Pedro himself, I wish I were fairly
off.

Aside.

Ped.

Ha! What is it you want with my Daughter
pray?

Gib.

An she be your Doughter, an lik yer Honer,
command her to come out, and answer for hersel now,
and either justify or disprove what this Shield told me
this Morn.

Liss.

So, here will be a fine Piece of Work.

Aside.

Ped.

Why what did he tell you, ha?

Gib.

Be me Sol, Sir, Ise tell you aw the Truth, my
Master got a pratty Lady upon the how de yee call’t—
Passa—Here at Five this Morn, and he Gar me
watch her heam—And in Troth I lodg’d her here,
and meeting this ill favour’d Theife, se ye me, I
spierd wha she was—And he told me her Name was
Donna Violante, Don Pedro de Mendosa’s Daughter.

Ped.

Ha! My Daughter with a Man abroad at Five
in the Morning, Death, Hell, and Furies, by St.Saint Anthony
I’m undone.

Stamps

Gib.

Wunds Sir, ye put yer Saint intul bony Company.

Ped.

Who is your Master ye Dog you? Adsheart I
shall be trick’d of my Daughter, and my Money too,
that’s worst of all.

Gib. E3r 77

Gib.

Ye Dog you! Sblead, Sir, don’t call
Names—I wont tell you wha my Master is, se ye
me now.

Ped.

And who are you Rascal, that knows my
Daughter so well? Ha!

Holds up his Cane.

Liss.

What shall I say to make him give this Scots
Dog a good beating? Aside. I know your Daughter,
Senior. Not I, I never saw your Daughter in all my
Life.

Gib.

Knocks him down with his Fist. Deel ha my Sol, Sar, gin ye get no your Carich for that Lye now.

Pedro

What hoa! Where are all my Servants?
Enter Servants on one side, Colonel, Felix, Isabella,
and Violante on the other side.
Raise the House in
pursuit of my Daughter.

Serv.

Here she comes, Senior.

Col.

Hey Day! What is here to do?

Gib.

This is the Loon lik Tik, and lik yer Honor,
that sent me Heam with a Lye this Morn.

Col.

Come, come, ’tis all well Gibby, let him rise.

Pedro.

I am Thunder-struck――and have not Power
to speak one Word.

Fel.

This is a Day of Jubilee, Lissardo; no quarelling
with him this Day.

Liss.

A Pox take his Fists――Egad, these Brittons are
but a Word and a Blow.

Enter Don Lopez.

Lop.

So, have I found your Daughter; then you
have not hang’d your self yet I see.

Col.

But she is married, my Lord.

Lop.

Married, Zounds to whom!

Col.

Even to your humble Servant, my Lord, if you
please to give us your Blessing.

Kneels.

Lop.

Why hark ye Mistress, are you really married?

Isab.

Really so, my Lord.

Lop. E3v 78

Lop.

And who are you Sir?

Col.

An honest North Britton by Birth, and a Colonel
by Commission, my Lord.

Lop.

A Heretick! The Devil!

Holds up his Hands.

Pedro.

She has play’d you a slippery Trick indeed my
Lord.――Well my Girl thou hast been to see thy Friend
married.――Next Week thou shalt have a better Husband,
my Dear.

To Violante.

Fel.

Next Week is a little too soon Sir, I hope to
live longer than that.

Pedro.

What do you mean Sir? You have not made
a Rib of my Daughter too, have you?

Vio.

Indeed but he has, Sir, I know not how, but
he took me in an unguarded Minute,――when my
Thoughts were not over strong for a Nunnery, Father.

Lop.

Your Daughter has play’d you a slippery Trick
too, Senior.

Pedro.

But your Son shall never be the better for’t
my Lord, her twenty Thousand Pounds was left on
certain Conditions, and I’ll not part with a Shilling.

Lop.

But we have a certain Thing call’d Law, shall
make you do Justice, Sir.

Pedro.

Well we’ll try that,――my Lord, much good
may it do you with your Daughter in Law.

Exit.

Lop.

I wish you much Joy of your Rib.

Exit. Enter Frederick.

Fel.

Frederick, Welcome!――I sent for thee to be
Witness of my good Fortune, and make one in a
Country-Dance.

Fred.

Your Messenger has told me all, and I sincerely
share in all your Happiness.

Col.

To the Right about Frederick, with thy Friend
Joy.

Fred.

I do with all my Soul;――and Madam I congratulate
your Deliverance.――Your Suspicions are clear’d
now, I hope Felix.

Fel. E4r 79

Fel.

They are, and I heartily ask the Colonel Pardon,
and wish him Happy with my Sister; for Love
has taught me to know, that every Man’s Happiness
consists in chusing for himself.

Liss.

After that Rule, I fix here.

To Flora.

Flo.

That’s your Mistake, I prefer my Lady’s Service,
and turn you over to her that pleaded Right
and Title to you to Day.

Liss.

Chuse proud Fool, I shan’t ask you twice.

Gib.

What say ye now Lass, will ye ge yer
Maiden-Head to poor Gibby――What say you, will ye
Dance the Reel of Bogye with me?

Inis.

That I may not leave my Lady,――I take you
at your Word.――And tho’ our Wooing has been short,
I’ll by her Example love you dearly.

Musick Plays.

Fel.

Hark! I hear the Musick, some Body has done
us the Favour to send them, call them in.

A Country-Dance.

Gib.

Waunds this is bony Musick.――How caw ye
that Thing that ye pinch by the Craig, and tickle the
Weam, and make it cry Grum, Grum.

Fred.

Oh! that’s a Guittar, Gibby.

Fel.

Now my Violante, I shall Proclaim thy Vertues
to the World.

No more, let us Thy Sex’s Conduct blame,

Since thou’rt a Proof to their eternal Fame,

That Man has no Advantage but the Name.

Epi-
E4v

Epilogue.

Spoken by Mrs.Santlow.

Written by Mr. Phillips.

Mrs. Santlow[Speaker label not present in original source]

Custom with all our Modern Laws combin’d,

Has given such Power despotick to Mankind,

That We have only so much Vertue now,

As they are pleas’d in favour to allow.

Thus like Mechanick Work we’re us’d with Scorn,

And wound up only, for a present Turn;

Some are for having our whole Sex enslav’d,

Affirming we’ve no Souls, and can’t be sav’d;

But were the Women all of my Opinion,

We’d soon shake off this false usurp’d Dominion;

We’d make the Tyrants own, that we cou’d prove,

As fit for other Business as for Love.

Lord! What Prerogative might we obtain,

Could we from Yielding, a few Months refrain!

How fondly wou’d our starving Lovers doat!

What Homage wou’d be paid to Petticoat!

’Twou’d be a Jest to see the change of Fate,

How we might all of Politicks Debate;

Promise, and Swear, what we ne’er meant to do,

And what’s still harder, keep your Secrets too.

“Ay marry! Keep a Secret” says a Beau,

And sneers at some ill-natur’d Wit below;

But Faith, if we shou’d tell but half we know,

There’s many a spruce Young Fellow in this Place,

Would never more presume to show his Face;

Women are not so weak, whate’er Men prate;

How many tip top Beau’s have had the Fate,

T’enjoy from Mamma’s Secrets their Estate.

Which if Her early Folly had made known,

He’d rid behind the Coach, that’s now His own.

But here, the Wond’rous Secret you discover;

A Lady ventures for a Friend,――a Lover.

Prodigious! For my part I frankly own,

I’d spoil’d the Wonder, and the Woman shown.

Finis.