Books Sold by A. Stephens,
at the Bible, in, Butcher-Row,
without Temple-Bar.


Reform’d Coquet;


π2v A1r

Reform’d Coquet;



By Mrs. Davys,
Author of The Humours of York.

“Nil moror quam pueriliter, modo utiliter.” Erasm.
The Sixth Edition.

Printed for A. Stephens, at the Bible, in
the Butcher-Row, without Temple-Bar.

1799M DCC LIL.
A1v A2r iii

To the
Great Britain.

At a Time when the Town is so
full of Masquerades, Operas,
new Plays, Conjurors, Monsters,
and feigned Devils; how can I,
Ladies, expect you to throw away an
Hour upon the less agreeable Amusement
my Coquet can give you?
But she who has Assurance to Write,
has certainly the Vanity of expecting A2 to A2v iv
to be Read. All Authors see a Beauty
in their own Compositions, which
perhaps nobody else can find; as Mothers
think their own Offspring amiable,
how deficient soever Nature has
been to them. But whatever my Faults
may be, my design is good, and hope
you British Ladies will accordingly encourage

If I have here touch’d a young Lady’s
Vanity and Levity, it was to shew her
how beautiful she is without those Blots,
which certainly stain the Mind, and
stamp Deformity where the greatest
Beauties would shine, were they banish’d.
I believe every body will join with my
Opinion, that the English Ladies are the
most accomplish’d Women in the World;
that generally speaking, their Behaviour
is so exact, that even Envy itself
cannot strike at their Conduct: But even
you yourselves must own, that there are
some few among you of a different
Stamp, who change their Gold for
Dross, and barter the highest Perfections
for the lowest Weaknesses. Would but this A3r v
this latter Sort endeavour as much to
act like Angels, as they do to look like
them, the Men instead of Reproaches,
would heap them with Praises, and their
cold Indifference would be turn’d to
Idolatry,. But who can forsake a Fault
till they are convinc’d they are guilty;
Vanity is a lurking subtile Thief that
works itself insensibly into our Bosoms,
and while we declare our Dislike to it,
know not ’tis so near us; every Body
being (as a witty Gentleman has somewhere
said) provided with a Racket to
strike it from themselves.

The Heroine of the following Sheets
will tell you the Advantages of a kind
friendly Admonition, and when the
little Lightnesses of her Mind were removed,
she became worthy of Imitation.
One little Word of Advice,
Ladies, and I have done: When you
grow weary of Flattery, and begin to
listen to matrimonial Addresses, chuse
a Man of fine Sense, as well as a fine
Wig, and let him have some Merit,
as well as much Embroidery: This A3 will A3v vi
will make Coxcombs give Ground, and
Men of Sense will equally admire your
Conduct with your Beauty. I am,

Your most Devoted,
And most Obedient
Humble Servant,

Mary Davys

The A4r vii


Idleness has so long been an
Excuse for Writing, that I am almost
asham’d to tell the World it was that,
and that only, which produc’d the following
Sheets. Few People are so inconsiderable
in Life, but they may at some time
do good; and though I must own my
Purse is (by a thousand Misfortunes) grown
wholly useless to every Body, my Pen is at
the Service of the Publick; and if it can
but make some Impression upon the young
unthinking Minds of some of my own Sex,
I shall bless my Labour, and reap an unspeakablespeakable A4v viii
Satisfaction: But as I have
addressed them in another Place, I shall
say no more of them here.

I come now to the worthy Gentlemen of
Cambridge, from whom I have receiv’d so
many Marks of Favour on a thousand Occasions,
that my gratitude is highly concern’d
how to make a due Acknowledgement;
and I own their civil, generous,
good-natur’d Behaviour towards me, is
the only thing I have now left worth boasting
of. When I had written a Sheet or two
of this Novel, I communicated my Design
to a couple of young Gentlemen, whom I
knew to be Men of Taste, and both my
Friends, they approved of what I had done,
advised me to proceed, then print it by Subscription;
into which Proposal many of the
Gentlemen entered, among whom were a
good Number of both the grave and the
young Clergy, who the World will easily
believe had a greater View to Charity than
Novelty; and it was not to the Book, but
the Author, they Subscribed. tThey knew
her to be a Relict of one of their Brotherhood,
and one, who (unless Poverty be a Sin) A5r ix
Sin) never did any thing to disgrace the
Gown; and for those Reasons encouraged
all her Undertakings.

But as this Book was writ at Cambridge,
I am a little apprehensive some
may imagine the Gentlemen had a Hand
in it. It would be very hard, if their Humanity
to me, should bring an Imputation
upon themselves, so greatly below their Merit,
which I can by no Means consent to;
and do therefore assure the World, I am
not acquainted with one Member of that
worthy and learned Society of Men, whose
Pens are employed in Things infinitely
above any Thing I can pretend to be the
Author of: So that I only am accountable
for every Fault of my Book; and if it has
any Beauties, I claim the Merit of them
too. Though I cannot but say, I did once
apply myself to a young Genius for a Preface,
which he seem’d to decline, and I
soon considered the brightness of his Pen
would only eclipse the glimmering Light of
my own; so called back my Request, and
resolved to entertain my Readers with a
Pattern, in the Preface, of the same Stuff A5v x
Stuff the following Sheets are made of;
which will, I hope, give them an Hour
or two of agreeable Amusement. And if
they will but be as kind to me, as they
have been to many before, they will overlook
one little Improbability, because such
are to be met with in most Novels, many
Plays, and even in Travels themselves.
There is a little Story in the beginning of
the Book, of the Courtship of a Boy,
which the Reader may, perhaps, think
very trifling; but as it is not two Pages
long, I beg he will pass it by; and my
Excuse for it is, I could not so well shew
the early Coquetry of the Lady without

The A6r 1

Reform’d Coquet;

Memoirs of Amoranda.

The most avaricious Scribler that
ever took Pen in Hand, had doubtless
a View to his Reputation, seperate
from his Interest. I confess
myself a Lover of Money, and yet have the
greatest Inclination to please my Readers;
but how to do so is a very critical Point, and
what more correct Pens than mine have missed
of. If we divide Mankind into several
Classes, we shall meet with as many different
Tempers as Faces, only we have the Art of
disguising one better than the other.

The Pedant despises the most elaborate Undertaking,
unless it appears in the World with Greek A6v 2
Greek and Latin Mottos; a Man that would
please him, must pore an Age over musty
Authors, till his Brains are as worm-eaten as
the Books he reads, and his conversation fit
for no-body else: I have neither Inclination
nor Learning enough to hope for his Favour,
so lay him aside.

The next I can never hope to please, is
the Dogmatical Puppy, who, like a Hedgehog,
is wrapt up in his own Opinions, and
despises all who want Extravagancies to enter
into them; but a Man must have a superior
Share of Pride, who can expect his single Opinion
should byass the rest of the Creation:
I leave him therefore to pine at his Disappointment,
and call upon the busy Part of
our Species, who are so very intent upon
getting Money, that they lose the Pleasure of
spending it. I confess, the Royal Exchange,
South-Sea with a P---x, Exchange-Alley, and
all Trade in general, are so foreign to my
Understanding, that I leave them where I
found them, and cast an oblique Glance at
the Philosopher, who I took to be a good
clever Fellow in his way: But as I am again
forced to betray my Ignorance, I know so
little of him, that I leave him to his “No Pleasure,
no Pain”
; and a thousand other Chimeras,
while I face about to the Man of Gallantry.
Love is a very common Topic,
but ’tis withal a very copious one; and would B1r 3
would the Poets, Printers and Booksellers
but speak Truth of it, they would own themselves
more oblig’d to that one Subject for
their Bread, than all the rest put together.
’Tis there I fix, and the following Sheets are
to be fill’d with the Tale of a fine young

A certain Knight who lives pretty deep in
the Country, had a Father whose vicious Inclinations
led him into a thousand Extravagancies;
Whoring and Drinking took up a
great part of his Time, and the rest was spent
in Gameing, which was his darling Diversion.
We have had so many melancholy Instances
of the sad Effects of this Vice that I dare say
the Reader will not be surpriz’d, if I tell him
this Gentleman in a little Time died a Beggar
by it, and left the young Baronet no more
than his Honour to live upon. Some Years
before the old Gentleman died, the young one
married a Lady clandestinely, whose Fortune
was then all their Support; and by whom he
had one Daughter, now seven Years of Age,
and for whom I will borrow the Name of Amoranda.
Sir John S—d, her Father, had a
younger Brother bred an East-India Merchant;
his Success abroad was so very great, that it
qualified him for shewing large Bounty at
home; and as he thought nothing so despicable
as Honour and Poverty join’d, he was
resolved to set his elder Brother above Contempt,B tempt, B1v 4
and make him shine like the Head of
so antient a Family: In order to which, he
first redeem’d all the Land his Father had
mortgag’d for Money to fling away, then
re-purchas’d all he had sold, till at last he had
settled the Knight in a quiet Possession of that
Estate, which had for many Ages devolved
from Father to Son; but, as he was exceeding
fond of his young Niece, settled the Whole
upon her, in case her Father died without a
Son, not making the least Reserve in favour of
himself. When he had, with the highest Satisfaction,
done a Deed of so much Goodness
and Generosity, he left the Family he had just
made happy, and went again in Pursuit of his
Merchandize; in the mean time Amoranda,
who was a little Angel for Beauty, was extremely
admired, no less for that than for a
sprightly Wit, which her younger Years promis’d.
If we trace human Nature through
all the Stages of Life, we shall find those Dawnings
of the Passions in Children, which riper
Years bring to the highest Perfection; and a
Child, rightly considered, may give us a very
great Guess at his Temper, when he comes to
be a Man. An Instance of this we have in
the young Creature already named, who
had, ’tis true, all the Beauties of her Sex; but
then she had the Seed of their Pride and Vanity
too. Amoranda was no sooner told she
was pretty, than she believ’d it, and listened with B2r 5
with Pleasure to those who said her Eyes were
Diamonds, her Cheeks Roses, her Skin Alablaster,
her Lips Coral, and her Hair Cupid’s
Nets which were to ensnare and catch all

This made an early Impression upon the
Mind of young Amoranda, and she now began
to think as much in Favour of herself as
it was possible for others to do. Her Babies
were thrown by with Scorn, and the Time that
should have dress’d them was spent at the
Lookinglass, dressing herself, admiring all
those Graces with which she was now sure she
was surrounded; her Father’s Visitors were
no longer to use her with their wonted Freedom,
but she told them with an Air of growing
Pride, she expected to be call’d Madam as
well as her Mamma, and that she was not so
much a Child as the World made her. Whilst
she was in the Midst of her grand Airs, a little
Boy came in who us’d to call her Wife, and
running to her, got his little Arms about her
Neck to kiss her, as he us’d to do. But Amoranda,
who was now resolv’d to be a Woman,
thurst him from her with the utmost
Contempt, and bid him see her no more.
The poor Boy, not us’d to such Behaviour,
stood staring at her in great Surprize at the
Occasion of all this; but being a Boy of some
Spirit, tho’ not capable of a real Passion, he
said “Madam, you need not be so proud, I B2 have B2v 6
have got a Prettier thean you for my Wife, and
I love her better than you by half, and I will
never come near you again”
, Saying thus, away
he went to make his Complaints at home.
When Amoranda saw him gone, and with a
Design to go to another, the whole Woman
gather’d in her Soul, and she fell into a violent
Passion of Tears; the Thoughts of having
another preferr’d to her was intolerable, and
seeing the Boy go off with Insults, gave her
a very sensible Mortification: Resentment
flash’d in her Eyes, and her Breast heav’d
with such Agonies as the whole Sex feel when
they meet with Contempt from a slighting
Lover. Her Mother, who was as full of
Mirth as she was of Grief upon this cutting
Occasion, said to her “Why, Amoranda, did
you send away your Spouse, if you are angry
now he is gone?”
“My Spouse!” cry’d the young
Incensed, “I scorn the little unmannerly Brat,
he shall never be my Spouse; what! tell me
to my Face he lik’d another better! but I
know who the saucy Jacanapes meant, and if
ever she comes here again I’ll send her to him:
I hate them both, and so I’ll tell ’em; who can
bear such an Affront? I shall never be easy
till I am Reveng’d of ’em.”
Here was Pride,
Jealousy, and Revenge, kindled in the Breast
of a Child; and as Princes love the Treason,
tho’ they hate the Traytor, so Women like
the Love, though they despise the Lover. Poor B3r 7 Poor Amoranda! what will be thy Fate?So soon to like the Love, the Lover hate!
Her Behaviour, however, gave good Diversion
to her Father and Mother; and under
that mistaken Notion, of every thing looking
well in a Child, she was encouraged in many
Things, which she herself would probably
have been asham’d of, had there been Time
given for Reason to play its Part, and help
to guard her Actions: Most Mothers are
fond of seeing their Children Women before
their Time, but forget it makes themselves
look old.

Vanity, which is most Womens Foible, might
be overlook’d or wink’d at, would it live alone;
but a lack! it loves a long Train of Attendants,
and calls in Pride, Affectation, Ill-
nature, and often Ill-manners too, for its
Companions. A Woman thus surrounded,
should be avoided with the same care a Man
would shun his evil Genius; ’tis marrying a
Complication of the worst Diseases.

I remember, when I was a Child, a Gentleman
came to make Love to a Sister I had,
who was a good clever Girl both in Sense and
Person; but as Women are never perfect,
she had her Failings among the rest, and
mightily affected a scornfull Toss with her
Head, which was so disagreeable, after a few B3v 8
few Visits, to her Lover, that he came no
more. My Father, a little surpris’d at his
going so abruptly off, and being loth to lose
so advantageous a Match for his Daughter,
went to enquire after his Reasons, which,
when he heard, he told the Gentleman he
thought ’em very trifling. “No Sir”, said he,
“a Woman who will throw up her Head at me
before Marriage, will, ten to one, break mine
after it. I know”
, continued he, “if a Woman
be dishonourably attack’d, her scorn is needful,
her Pride requisite; but a Man of equal
or superior Fortune, who has no Views but
hers and his own Happiness, ought to be receiv’d
with another Air; and If ever I marry,
I will have at least a Prospect of good Usage.”

Thus the foolish Girl lost a much better Husband
than she got, by thinking her Pride
added to her Charms, and gave new Graces
to her Behaviour.

Amoranda was now in the ninth Year of her
Age, six more I leap over, and take her again
in her fifteenth; during which Time her
Father died, and left her a finish’d Beauty and
Coquet; I might here have said Fortune too,
being sole Heiress to three Thousand Pounds
a year: Her Mother and Uncle were left her
Guardians; but the former being a Lady of
an infirm Constitution, the Grief of losing a
tender good Husband made such considerable
Additions to her former Weakness, thant in less than B4r 9
than half a Year she died too, and left poor
Amoranda open to all the Temptations that
Youth, Beauty, Fortune, and a flashy Wit
could expose her to. Her Uncle but just come
from the Indies, and whose Business would not
admit of his going into the Country, had
once a mind to send for her up to Town, but
he considered London a Place of too many
Temptations; and since she was willing to stay
in the Country, he was resolv’d she should;
but desir’d she would let him send down one
to supply his Place, and take care of her in
his stead. During this Interregnum Amoranda
was address’d by all the Country round, from
the old Justice to the young Rake; and I dare
say, my Reader will believe she was a Toast
in every House for ten Parishes round. The
very Excrescences of her Temper were now
become Graces, and it was not possible for
one single Fault to be join’d to Three Thousand
Pounds a Year; her Levee was daily
crouded with almost all Sorts, and she, pleas’d
to be admir’d, though she lov’d none, was
complaisant to all. Among a considerable
Number of Admirers, Lord Lofty was one,
who had so great a Value for his dear Self, that
he could hardly be persuaded any Women had
Merit enough to deserve the smallest of his
Favours, much less the great one of being his
Partner for Life: However, he thought Amoranda
a pretty Play-thing, a young unthinkinging B4v 10
Girl, left at present to her own Conduct;
and if he could draw her in to give him an
Hour’s Diversion now and then, he should
meet her with some Pleasure; if not, though
he did not despair, he was her humble Servant,
and had no farther Design upon her.
One Day he came to see her so early in the
Morning, that she was hardly up when he
came; but sent down Word, as soon as she
could get herself into a Dress fit to appear before
his Lordship she would wait upon him.
While Amoranda was dressing, my Lord took
a Walk into the Garden, either to amuse himself
with Variety of pleasing Objects, or to
meditate afresh upon his present Undertaking.
He walk’d with the utmost Pleasure among
the Jessamine and Orange Trees: At the end
of the Walk was a Set, over which was a fine
painted Roof, representing the Rape of Hellen,
on which he gaz’d with some Admiration,
and could not forbear comparing Amoranda
to her, not thinking the whole Scene unlike
his own Design. After he had view’d this fine
Piece, he happen’d to cast his Eye a little forward,
and saw a Paper lye on the Ground,
which he went and took up, finding it directed
to Amoranda in a Woman’s Hand; he was
not long persuaded himself to open it; by
which you will believe my Lord, a Man of
none of the strictest Honour; however, he
read it, and found it thus:

If B5r 11 “If the Advice of a Stranger can be of any Import,
I beg of you, good Madam, to take
Care of Lord Lofty, who carries nothing but
Ruin to our whole Sex: Believe me, who have
too fatally experienced him, his whole Design upon
you is to make you miserable, and if you fall
into his Snare after so fair a Warning, no-body
but yourself deserves the Blame.”

This Letter put my Lord into a very
thoughtful Posture, and he now began to fear
his Hopes of Amoranda were at an End; the
Hand he knew, and acknowledged the Person
who writ it a much better Painter than
him he had been so lately admiring, since she
had drawn him so much to the Life. My
Lord was a Man of the best Assurance in
England, yet he began to fear his Courage
would not hold out to face Amoranda any more,
and was just resolving to leave the Garden, and
go home, when he saw her coming towards
him; he shuffl’d the Letter into his Pocket, and
with a Countenance half confounded went to
meet her. “Good morrow, my Lord”, said
Amoranda, with the gayest Air, “how are we
to construe these early Sallies of yours? not
to Love, I suppose; because Mr. Congreve
tells us, ‘A contemplative Lover can no more
leave his Bed in a Morning, than he can sleep
in it’

Madam, B5v 12

“Madam”, said my Lord, who began to gather
Courage from her Behaviour, “a contemplative
Lover has some Respite from his Pain,
but a restless one has none; I hope you will
believe I am one of this last Sort, and am come
to look for my Repose where I lost it.”
fye! my Lord, how you talk!”
said Amoranda,
“you’re a Man of so much Gallantry,
there’s no dealing with you. Come”
, said she,
“take my Hand, and let us go to the Fish-
Ponds, I have order’d the Tackling to be
carry’d down before us, we’ll try if we can
find any Sport this Morning.”
“Madam”, said
my Lord, “every thing is Diversion in your
Company, and if you can captivate your Fish
as fast as you can do those of your own Species,
your Ponds will be in a little time quite

“O! my Lord”, said Amoranda, “if I catch
too many of either Sort, I have a very good
way of disposing of them.”

“After what manner?” said my Lord. “Why”,
said she, “one I throw into the Water again,
and t’other may consume in his own Flames.”

“Madam”, said my Lord, “he’s a cruel Deity who
is pleas’d with nothing but the Life of his

“Nay”, said Amoranda, so he is; I own I
pity the poor Fellows sometimes, but you
know, my Lord, we can’t love every-body,
they should ev’n keep out of Harm’s way.”

By B6r 13

By this time they were come to the Pond,
and the Anglers fell to work; but before they
had catch’d any thing to speak of, a Footman
came to tell his Lady, Mr. Pert was
come to wait upon her. “Fly”, said Amoranda,
“and tell him I come. My Lord”, said she,
“you will please to pardon me a Moment, I’ll
go and try if I can engage Mr. Pert in our
Diversion, and bring him with me.”
staying for my Lord’s Answer, she ran towards
the House, and left him with the Angle
in his Hand: He had now a little Time to consider
the Lady, but what to make of her he
knew not; he took the Letter out of his
Pocket, and read it over again, then said to
himself,――’Twas lost Labour in the Lady
who wrote it, for Amoranda takes no Notice
of it; her Behaviour is open and free as ever,
I shall certainly meet with a critical Minute,
and then adieu to Gallantry on this Side the
Country. Before he had ended his Soliloquies
he saw the Lady coming back alone, and went
to meet her; “What, Madam”, said he, “are
you without an Attendant?”
“Yes, my Lord”,
said Amoranda, “I could not persuade
Mr. Pert to venture this Way, he said the Sun
always put out the Stars, and he should give
but a glimmering Light where there was such
a superior Brightness.”

“Madam”, said my Lord, “I once thought Mr.
so full of himself that he scorn’d Improvement;provement; B6v 14
but I find your Ladyship’s Conversation
has made a considerable Alteration.”

“Pray, my Lord, have done”, said Amoranda,
“for I freely own, I am not Proof against
Flattery, there is something so inexpressibly
pleasing in it――Lard you Men――Come,
let us catch some Fish, and divert the Subject.”

“Hang the Fish”, said my Lord, “Aye”, said Amoranda,
“for we shall never drown them. But
how comes it, my Lord”
, said she, “you are so
indifferent to such a fine Diversion?”
, said he, “I have finer in view; ’tis
to affront the Heart I am so eager in Pursuit
of, to give way to any other Diversion. Come,
, said he, “let us leave this Drudgery
to our Servants, and take a Walk in yonder
pleasant Grove, where I may have an Opportunity
of laying open to you a Heart ready
to burst with Love.”
Here he took her Hand,
and led her towards the Garden, when Jenny,
Amoranda’s Maid, met them, and told my
Lord, a Servant was just come to tell his
Lordship, his Brother was newly alighted.
Never any News was more unwelcome
than this to my Lord, who made himself
now sure of Amoranda’s Consent to any thing
he should request of her; and he thought a
very few Minutes would have compleated
his Happiness. He stamp’d, and curs’d his
Disappointment, and with Vexation and
Madness in his Looks, took his Leave for that C1r 15
that Time. He was no sooner gone, than Jenny
(who was all poor Amoranda had now to advise
her) began to talk to her Lady about
Lord Lofty. “I am no less concern’d than surpris’d,
, said she, “to see you so free in
this Gentleman’s Company, after the Account
you have had of his Temper in general, and
his particular Behaviour to the poor Lady
who wrote to you. I wish it were in my Power”
said she, “to prevail with you to see him no
more; I read his Designs in his Looks, and
am satisfy’d his Intentions are dishonourable.”

At this Amoranda burst out a laughing.
“The poor Lady that wrote to me”, said she,
in a jeering Tone, “is one of his Tenant’s
Daughters, I suppose, whom he for a Night’s
Lodging promis’d Marriage to, perhaps; and
the Creature thinks, because he made a Fool of
her, he has and must do so by all the Sex: No,
no Jenny, some People, when they are gaul’d
themselves, would feign make other Folks
smart too; but I love to disappoint their Spite,
and will, for that Reason, take no Notice on’t.”

“Madam”, said Jenny, “that Letter looks as
if it came from a finer Hand than you seem
to think it does; look it over once more, and”

“Aye”, said Amoranda, feeling in her Pocket,
“but where is it? I had it last Night in the
Orange-walk, and have certainly drop’d it
there, let us go and look for it.”
“No, Madam,”
said Jenny, “we need not if you dropt it C there C1v 16
there, my Lord has found it, for there he
walk’d all the while you were dressing.”
can never be”
, said Amoranda, “he is a Man
of too much Honour to open a Letter directed
to me; I am sure”
, said she, “had he found
it, I should have had it again, therefore go
and look for it.”
While Jenny was gone in
quest of the Letter, Amoranda began to recollect
herself, and remember’d she saw my
Lord at a distant putting a Paper into his
Pocket, and, when she came nearer to him,
look’d confus’d; however, she had said so
much already in Vindication of his Honour,
that she was resolv’d to conceal her own
Thoughts; and Jenny returning without it,
they both went in.

As soon as Dinner was over, Amoranda’s
Visitors began to flock about her, while she,
pleas’d with a Crowd of Admirers, received
them all with equal Complacency, and Singing,
Dancing, Musick and Flattery took up
her whole Time. Her Heart was like a great
Inn, which finds Room for all that come, and
she could not but think it very foolish to be
beloved by five hundred, and return it only
to one; she found herself inclin’d to please
them all, and took no small Pains to do so;
yet had she been brought to the Test, and
forced to chuse a Husband among them, her
particular Inclinations were so very weak,
that she would have been at the greatest Loss where C2r 17
where to fix, tho’ her general Favours gave
every Man Hopes, because she artfully hid
from one what she bestowed upon another.
Among the rest, she had two Lovers, who
would very fain have brought her to a Conclusion;
I shall call one Froth, and the other
Callid. The latter, though he had no Cause
to despair, grew weary of Expectation, and
was resolved to have recourse to other Measures;
but Froth push’d his Fortune forward,
and, from an inward Opinion of his own Merit,
did not doubt but he should bring Amoranda
to crown his Wishes, and in a few Days
bestow herself upon him for Life. One Day
Amoranda and Froth were sate in a beautiful
Summer-house in the Garden, which had Sashes
to the High-way, and here they sate when
Froth thus accosted her; “Madam”, said he, “it
is now six Weeks since I first broke my Mind
to you; and if I am six more in Suspence it
will break my Heart too. I am not unsensible
of, or unthankful for the Favours you
have shown to me; I know I am the happy
Man who stands fairest in your Esteem, and
since your Eyes declare your Heart is won,
why do you retard my Joys?”
“You are a very
pretty Fellow”
, said Amoranda laughing, “to
make yourself so sure of a body! how can
you believe I shall be so silly, as to think of
marrying, while I have so fresh a Bloom upon
my Cheeks? No, Mr. Froth”
, said she, “it will be C2 Time C2v 18
Time enough for me to be a Wife when that
dreadful Thing Decay gets hold of me; but,
if it will be any Satisfaction to you, I don’t
care if I tell you, I have not a less Value for
you than for the rest of my Lovers.”
said he, “my Extacy would have been more
compleat, had you said a greater.”
“Oh!” said
she, “that’s enough for once, but I don’t bid
you despair.”
As she spoke these Words, she
turn’d her Head, and saw Callid coming, and
having a mind for a little Variety of Courtship,
desir’d Froth to go and pull a few Nectarines;
which he readily did, laughing in his Sleve at
poor Callid, who he was very sure would meet
with a cold Reception. As soon as Callid had
reach’d Amoranda, he began with a very submissive
Air, and said, “Madam, I am now so
far from coming to repeat my presumptive
Love, that I come in the highest Despair to
resign it; I am too sensible how little I have
deserved a Return from you, and since my
Estate is too small for you”
――“Your Estate”,
said Amoranda, interrupting him, “I wonder
Mr. Callid, you should name it; ’tis trifling
indeed compar’d to your Merits; I would
have you believe I have so good a Taste, as
to set the highest Value upon the richest Gem,
and I am sorry my Behaviour has given you
any despairing Thoughts.”
“Madam”, said he,
“I have no Cause to complain of your Behaviour,
but Hope is a most tiresome Thing when it C3r 19
it hangs too long upon our Hands; but here
comes One to whom I must give Place.”

“Believe me”, said Amoranda, “you mistake,
and I will comply so far with your Satisfaction,
as to say, you stand as fair in my Esteem
as he does.”
By this time Froth came to
them, and complain’d of Heat, threw up the
Sash. Some little Time after, a Gentleman
rid by and threw a Glove at the Window;
Amoranda, at whose Foot it fell, took it up,
and found there was something in it, which
she conceal’d, but was much surpris’d at the
Action. As she was putting it into her Pocket,
she saw Lord Lofty coming, and leaving
Froth and Callid in the Summer-house went to
meet him. “What an Age”, said he, “have I been
detain’d from my charming Amoranda? Oh!
come down this Walk, and let me tell you
how Absence has tortur’d me ever since I left

While my Lord and Amoranda were walking
in the other Part of the Garden, Froth and
Callid began to compare Notes, and talk of
the weighty Affair in which they were both
concern’d. “Mr. Callid”, said Froth, “you and I
come here upon the same Errand, and in regard
to our former Friendship, I must tell you
Amoranda is partly disposed of, and for that
Reason I would advise you to desist; a Man’s
Discretion is greatly to be call’d in question,
who, after so many Repulses, as doubtless you C3 have C3v 20
have met with, will still go on in a fruitless
Attempt; it is true we are both Men of Merit,
but Love you know is blind; and if she
finds just Difference enough to turn the Scale
to my Advantage, I think you ought to drop
your Amour, and leave the Lady and I to
our happy Inclinations.”
“Hum”,—said Callid,
“You are, I must own, a Man of a sanguine
Complexion, but a little too much upon the
volatile; your Understanding evaporates,
and you never had a solid Thought in your
Life, otherwise you would tell yourself, this
Woman has no more Regard to you than to
all Mankind in general; perhaps she has
given you some Cause to hope; why, she has
done the same by me, and is this Minute doing
the same by yonder Nobleman, and tomorrow
five hundred more shall meet with the
same Encouragement, if they attack her. No,
, said he, “this way will never do; but if
you will give into my Measures, we may find
out one that will. You and I have been long
Friends and old Acquaintance, our Estates
are sunk to a low Ebb, though we have hitherto
made that a Secret to the World; Amoranda
is not the Prize we seek after; it is
her Fortune we want, and Part of it, at least,
we will have, if you will close with my Design.”
“Well”, said Froth, “I never sign blank
Bonds, let me know what your Design is, and
as I like it I will comply with it; but why the Devil C4r 21
, said he, should I lose the Substance for
the Shadow; I am sure she bid me not despair,
an Hour ago, and who would desire
more Encouragement?”

“I find”, said Callid, “you are running away
with the old Bait that has catch’d so many
Fools already; for my Part, I nibbled at it
too, but it smell’d so stale I did not like it;
and if you will be advisd by a Friend, who
can see as far into a Mill-stone as you can do,
you will shun the Trap as well as I.”
, said Froth, “let us hear this Scheme of
“I know”, said Callid, “it will at the first
Hearing seem a little impracticable, but I do
not doubt of convincing you, in a small Time,
of its Possibility. I have often heard Amoranda
say, she pass’d her whole Evenings in this
Summer-house when the Weather is hot; now
where would be the Difficulty of whipping her
out of this low Window into a Coach provided
ready, and carrying her to a House, which
I have taken care of, keeping her with the
utmost Privacy till she resolves to marry one
of us, and the other shall share the Estate.”

“Aye”, said Froth, “if this was but as soon done
as said, I should like the Contrivance well
enough; but pray”
, said he, “don’t you think
her Maid and She would make a damn’d Noise
when they were carry’d off?”
“Yes” said the other,
“I believe they would; but we might easily prevent
it, by a pretty little Gagg for a Minute or C4v 22
or two, till we get them into the Coach.”
said Froth, “but when we have taken all these
Pains, what if she will marry neither of us,
and the Hue and Cry catch us, as to be sure
it will soon be after us; then, instead of a fine
Lady with a fine Estate, we shall each of us
get a fine Halter.”
“Thou art a cowardly Puppy”,
said Callid, “and I am sorry I have laid my
self so open to you; do you think I do my
Business by Halves? or, that an Affair of such
Consequence is to be neglected in any Part?
No, the Devil himself can’t find her where I
intend to carry her; and if she will not immediately
comply to marry one of us, she will
at least come to Terms for her Liberty; you
know we cannot stay long in England, unless
we have a mind to rot in a Jayl? and if we
can but screw out each of us a Thousand
Pounds we will away to the Czar, and let
the Law hang us when it can catch us.”

“Why Faith”, said Froth, “I believe such a
Project might be brought to bear; but how
shall we get the Money brought to us?”
shall draw a Bill upon her Banker”
, said Callid,
“for as much as we can get out of her, then we
will ride Post to London and receive it.”
, said Froth, “are we to go about this
Work? for methinks I would feign have it
over; I have still a Fancy Amoranda will be
mine, and if she be willing to marry me, will
you promise not to oppose it?”
“Nay” said Callid, if C5r 23
“if she shall marry either of us, I do not see
why it may not be me as well as you; I will
not make a Deed of Gift of the Lady neither;
but if it come to that, she shall e’en draw
Cuts for us, and the lucky Loon take her.”

What an unhappy Creature is a beautiful
young Girl left to her own Management! who
is so fond of Adoration, that Reason and Prudence
are thurst out to make way for it,
till she becomes a Prey to every designing
Rascal, and her own ridiculous Qualities are
her greatest Enemies! Thus it might have
fared with poor Amoranda, had not a lucky
Hit prevented it, which the Reader shall know
by and by. While this Contrivance was carrying
on in the Summer-house, my Lord was
employ’d in another of a different Kind; he
thought his Quality sufficient to justify all his
Actions, and never fear’d a Conquest whereever
he vouchsafed an Attempt. “Madam”, said
he, “why are we to spend our Time in this Garden,
where so many Interruptions may break
in upon our Privacies? I desire an Audience
where none but Love may be admitted.”

“My Lord”, said Amoranda, “did you ever see
a finer Goldfinch in your Life than that Cock
in the Pear Tree? That very Cock, my Lord,
is Grandsire to all my little warbling Company
within doors; I remember him, and know
him by a little uncommon Spot over his Eye:
Oh! it is a charming Bird, I have set a Trap- Cage C5v 24
Cage for him a thousand Times, but the dear
Creature is so cunning――Well, every thing
loves Liberty, and so do I; don’t you, my
“Yes, Madam”, said he, “I lov’d it, and
always had it till I knew you; but I am so intangled
now in your Charms, I never expect
to disengage myself again.”

“Well, I’ll swear my Lord”, said Amoranda
“that is a Pity; methinks a Man of your Gallantry
should never marry.”
“Marry!” said my
Lord, in great Surprize, “no, I hope I shall never
have so little Love for any Lady as to
marry her; Oons! the very Word has put
me into a Sweat; the Marriage-Bed is to
Love, what a cold Bed is to Melon-Seed, it
starves it to death infallibly.”
“Aye, I believe
it does, my Lord”
, said Amoranda; “however,
one Thing I have often observ’d, when once
a Woman is marry’d, nobody cares for her
but her Husband; and if your Lordship’s
Remarks be true, not he neither; so that,
my Lord, I think we must live single in our
own Defence. But, my Lord”
, said she――
“what was I going to say—Oh! pray give me
a Pinch of Snuff”
; “Nay, Madam”, said my
Lord, “this is trifling with my Passion, I cannot
live upon such Usage; either ease my Sufferings,
or take my Life.”
“I’ll swear, my
, said Amoranda, “you are a bewitching
Man; what a Breach have I made in good
Manners by your agreeable Conversation! I left C6r 25
left poor Mr. Froth and Mr. Callid in the
Summer-house two Hours ago, and had quite
forgot they were there; sure the poor Toads
are not there still.”
“Damn the Toads”, said
Lord Lofty, “are they a Subject fit for your
“No, my Lord” said she, “you see
I forget ’em; but pray let us go in, we shall
have the Owls about our Ears, if we stay here
any longer, it is just dark.”
Lord Lofty was
strangely ruffled at this Behaviour; and though
he still hoped for a pleasing End of his Amour,
he plainly saw it would not be so easily
attain’d as he at first vainly imagin’d; he therefore
took his Leave for that Night, and hop’d
the next Interview would prove more favourable.
Amoranda was very glad when she
found herself alone, that she might have Time
to examine the Glove, which came so odly into
the Summer-house Window. “Jenny”, said
she, “call for Candles, and come here.” When
she was sate, and had got Lights, she took
out the Glove; “Oh? Jenny”, said she, “what a
sad Afternoon has my Curiosity had, and
how much have I long’d to see what I have
got here”
; she open’d the Top of it, and found
a Letter: “So”, said she, “here is some new Conquest,
but the strangest way of letting me
know it that ever was invented.”
She open’d
it, and found these Words.

This C6v 26 “‘This Letter, Madam, does not come to tell
you I Love you, since that would only increase
the Surfeit you must have taken with so many
hundred Declarations of that kind already; but
if I tell you I am in pain for your Conduct, and
spend some Hours in pitying your present Condition,
it will, I dare say, be entirely new to you;
since (though many have the same Opinion of your
Behaviour) none have Courage or Honesty enough
to tell you so. Consider, Madam, how unhappy
that Woman is, who finds herself daily hedg’d in
with self-ended Flatterers, who make it their Business
to keep up a Vanity in you, which may one
Day prove your Ruin. Is it possible for any Fop
to tell you more than you know already? Or, does
not your Looking-glass display every one of your
fine Features with much more Exactness, than
the base, the fawning Rascal, who pretends to
dye at your Feet? Spurn him from you, Amoranda,
as you would the worst Infection, and
believe me rather than him, when I tell you.
You are neither Angel nor Goddess, but a Woman,
a fine Woman, and there are in this Nation
ten Thousand such. If this little Admonition
meets with a favourable Reception, you will,
upon the first Reading of it, discard three fourths
of your daily Attendants, who, like so many Locusts,
are striving to devour you.’”

“Why, Jenny”, said Amoranda, “did you ever
hear any thing so impudent in your Life? Oh! Lud! D1r 27
Lud! I have not Patience with the familiar Brute,
I would give a thousand Pounds to know the
Author? what shall I do to be reveng’d?”
, said Jenny, “I must own, if this be a
Conquest, it is made upon a very insulting saucy
Lover; and yet I believe he means well too.”

“Mean well”, said Amoranda; “what good
Meaning can he have, who persuades me to
banish the Bees, and live in the Hive by myself?”
“No Madam”, said Jenny, “your Ladyship
mistakes him, it is the Wasps he would have
you discard, who come to sting and steal from
those who have a better Title to the Sweets of
your Favours; but, Madam”
, continued she,
“do you think you should know him again, if
you saw him?”

“Not I”, said Amoranda, “I never saw his Face,
he flung in the Glove before I knew any body
was near; and had he not rid away in a
Cloud of Dust, I should have thought it had
been a Challenge to some of the Gentlemen in
the Summer-house; but what vexes me most”
said she, “is his Pity; I always thought a Woman
of Youth, Beauty, and such a Fortune as
mine is, might raise Envy in many, but Pity
in none.”

Here the House-keeper came in to speak
with her Lady, and put a Stop to their present
Discourse, by making way for something of
greater Moment. “Madam”, said she, “if your
Ladyship be at leisure, I have a Secret of D great D1v 28
great Importance to communicate to you.”

“Pr’ythee then”, said Amoranda, “let us have it,
perhaps it may put something else out of my
“Madam”, said she, “I went this Afternoon
into my little Room over the Summer-
house, where you know I dry my Winter-
Herbs, and while I was turning them, your
Ladyship came in with Mr. Froth, and Callid
came to you; you may please to remember,
Lord Lofty gave you an Opportunity of
leaving them, which you had no sooner done,
than they began to lay a most dangerous Plot
against you”
;――so told her Lady what the
Reader has heard already. “But”, continued
she, “as soon as they had laid their Scheme Mr.
said he would go and provide a Coach,
and two or three Villains, like himself, to
assist. As soon as he was gone, Mr. Froth
began to consider with himself what was best
to do, stick to the first Design, or discover
all to your Ladyship. ‘Now’, said he, ‘have I
a fair Opportunity of turning Callid’s Knavery
to my own Advantage, by discovering all
to Amoranda; so signal a Service can be attended
with nothing less than her dear Self,
and then I have her without any Hazard or
Partner. But then’
, said he again, ‘as my Friend
has well observed, the Devil cannot fix a Woman
of her Levity; perhaps, when I have
ruined his Design, by telling her the Danger
she is in, my Reward may be a Court’sy, and I thank D2r 29
thank you, Mr. Froth, and when it lies in my
Power I will serve you again; there is an End
of his Hopes, and my own too: No’
, said he,
‘without I were sure of making Sport, I am resolved
I will spoil none, and good Luck assist
our Undertaking; while yonder Lord is so
much at her Service, we need expect no Favours
but what we force, so Callid, I follow
thee to provide for them.’
Saying thus, he went
out of the Garden through the Back-door.”

“Oh! the impudent Rogues!” said Amoranda:
“Well, and when, Brown”, (for that was the
House-keeper’s Name) “is this fine Project to
to be put in Execution?”
“To-morrow-night Madam,”
said she; “What”, said Amoranda, “whether
I am there or no? though I spend a good
deal of Time there, I am not always there.”

“No, Madam”, said Brown, “I forgot to tell your
Ladyship that Part of the Contrivance; you
are to be entertained with a Dance of Shepherds
and Shepherdesses in the Highway, by
Moonlight, just at the Summer-house-Window,
and if you happen to have any Company,
it is to be put off till next Night, under
Pretence of one of the Dancer’s being not well.”

“Very fine”, said Amoranda; “well, since the
worthy Gentlemen have begun a Scheme, I
will throw in my Counter-Plot among them,
and see who will come best off.”

Amoranda made her House-keeper a Present
of some Guineas, and dismiss’d her. As D2 she D2v 30
she went out, a Footman came in and told his
Lady, an old Gentleman was just alighted at
the Gate, who brought her a Letter, but must
deliver it into her own Hands. “An old Gentleman!”
said Amoranda; “I will wait upon
him however.”
The Stranger enter’d, and
gave the young Lady a Letter from her
Uncle, in which, when she had open’d it, she
found the following Words,

“I have, at last, my dearest Amoranda, fixed
upon such a Person as I think fit to entrust
you with; he is One for whom I have the
greatest Value, or, to sum up all in a Word, he
is my Friend, and as such I desire you would use
him; let him in my Stead interest himself in all
your Affairs. I have so good an Opinion of your
Prudence, as to believe you will not often want
his Advice; neither will he offer it, unless he
finds it necessary: For, though he is an old Man,
he is neither impertinent, positive, or sour. You
will, I hope, from my past Behaviour towards
you, believe you are very dear to me; and I have
no better Way of shewing it for the future, than
by putting you into such Hands as Formator’s,
which is the Name of the Bearer; and if you
would oblige me, shew it by your Esteem to him,
which will confirm me
Your most Affectionate Uncle, E. Traffick.”
When D3r 31

When Amoranda had read the Letter, she
looked a little earnestly at Formator, possibly
not very well pleased with a Guardian of such
an Age; but she considered she had a Father
and Mother to please, in the Person of her
Uncle, and he such a One as made up the
Loss of both to her; for which Reason she resolved
to use him, as directed in that Letter,
and said to him with a Smile, “I find, Sir I am
no longer my own Mistress, but am now to
live under your Restrictions; I promise you,
I will always listen to your Advice, and take
it as often as I can; but I hope, Sir, you will
remember I am gay and young, you grave
and old, and that the Disparity in our Years
may make as great a one in our Tempers;
I will therefore make a Bargain with you, if
you will bear with a little of my youthful
Folly, I will bear with a great deal of your
aged Sagacity; and we will be as agreeable
to one another, as it is possible for Age and
Youth to be.”

“Madam”, said Formator, “I agree to all your
Proposals, and shall be very cautious how I
presume to advise; and if I ever do so, it
shall be when your own Reason must side
with me; and I see already you have too
much Sense to act against that, unless by Inadvertency.
All young People, Madam, are
fond of Pleasure, and every Thought that
opposes it is thrust out with Disgrace; but—”
“O Lud!” said Amoranda, “I believe you are to D3 be D3v 32
be the Chaplain too; if you talk thus much
longer, you will argue me out of my Senses;
I told you, I would not come into your grave
Measures of a sudden. Come, Sir, there is
nothing in it, an innocent Chearfulness is
much more acceptable both to God and Man,
than a crabbed sour Temper, that gives everybody
the Gripes that looks at it.”
said Formator, “you quite mistake me, I am
not of that disagreeable Temper you have described,
I would have both Young and Old
act with that very innocent Freedom you
speak of; but what I inveigh against, is an
immoderate Love of Pleasure, which generally
follows the Young, and too often leads
them to Destruction.”

“Pray, Sir”, said Amoranda, “what is it you
call Pleasure.”

“Madam”, said he, “I call every thing Pleasure
that pleases us; and I dare say, you will own
a great many Things may, and do please us,
which are in themselves very faulty: As for
Example, suppose a fine young Lady of superior
Beauty, should spread Purlieus to catch
all Mankind, I doubt not but it would give
such a one exquisite Pleasure; but it is at the
same Time a great Fault to give other People
exquisite Pain, as the rest of the Sex must certainly
feel, when they see one Monopoliser
engross the whole Male World to herself.”

“Nay”, said Amoranda, “there never was any such Thing D4r 33
Thing in Nature, as one Woman engrossing the
whole contrary Sex; believe me, Sir, ye all
love Variety too well for that, and your Affections,
like your Money, circulates all the
Nation over; so that it is only who can keep
their Lovers longest we strive for, not who
can keep them always, for that we none of us
expect; but come, Formator”
, said she “I must
own, you are come at a very critical Juncture,
and since my Uncle has enjoined me to use
you as I would him, after Supper, I will give
you an early Proof of my Duty to him, and
my Confidence in you.”

Supper ended, Amoranda told Formator the
whole Story of Froth and Callid, their base
Designs, as well as beggarly Circumstances.
Formator’s Cheeks glowed with Anger, and in
the highest Transport of Rage cried out, “how
can such a Woman, such a lovely Woman as
you are, subject yourself to such Company?
Is it possible that fine Sense, which breaks
from those lovely Lips with every Word you
speak, can find agreeable Returns from such
Vermin? Can a Man mingle his Wine with
Mud, then drink it with Pleasure!”

“Pardon me, dear Madam”, continued he, “if
my Zeal for so good an Uncle to you, and so
good a Friend to me, hurries me a little too
far; it is not possible for me to see any thing,
so deservedly beloved by him, run into the
least Weakness; beside, you seem to have too true D4v 34
true a Notion of our Sex to be so grosly imposed
upon by them.”
“Say no more, good Formator,”
said Amoranda, “I now promise to be
governed in a great measure by you; and
since my Uncle has sent you to supply his
Place, I will use you with Deference, and
bring myself to comply with your Desires as
far as possible.”
This Promise gave the old
Gentleman ten thousand Joys, which sat triumphant
on his pleased Countenance, and
Amoranda could not forbear being pleased
herself, to see how much he was so. “But, Madam,”
said Formator, “methinks I long to know
how you intend to use those Villains.”
said she, “you shall do presently. When the
Hour is come for the Execution of their intended
Project, I design to place two sturdy
Footmen, dressed in mine and Jenny’s Cloaths,
in the Summer-house; the Hour they have
appointed, will favour my Design as well as
theirs, for ten o’Clock’s the Time, and the
Moon to be our Light; so that they will not
easily distinguish betwixt the Fellows and us,
till their Sense of Feeling lets them into the
Secret; for the Footmen don’t want Courage,
and I hope my design’d Injuries will give them
Resentment to it; I dare say they will give
them Love for Love, and pay them in their
own Coin. What do you think, Formator”
, said
she, “will not my Contrivance do better than
“I hope so, Madam”, said he, “but I have D5r 35
have one earnest Request to make you, and as
it is the first, I hope you will not deny me.”

“No”, said Amoranda, “I am sure you will ask
nothing I ought to refuse, and therefore I promise.”
“Then Madam”, said he, “give me leave
to personate you in the Summer-house Tomorrow-night.”

“Alas!” said she, “what can your feeble Arm
do with such robust Rascals? they will make
no more of you than they would of me myself,
and methinks I would not have them go off
without a good Drubbing.”
“Fear not Madam”,
said Formator, “this Arm can still do Wonders
in so good a Cause; a Vindication of Amoranda’s
Honour fills my Veins with young Blood,
that glows to revenge her Wrongs.”
said Amoranda, “I find I have the Remains of
a brave Man to take my Part, and since you
have so great a Mind to shew your Prowess,
pray do; if you happen to be worsted, we will
invert the Custom, and instead of your delivering
the distressed Damsel, she shall come
and rescue you.”
This made Formator very
merry, in spite of all his Gravity; but it was
now Bed-time, and he was conducted to his
Chamber by the Servants, who were ordered
to use him with great Respect. The next
Morning Jenny came to her Lady’s Bed-side,
and told her she had been in the Garden, and
had found a Silver Box; “I fancy by the Bigness
of it, it is Lord Lofty’s Snuff-Box”
, said she, but D5v 36
“but theirre is nothing in it but a Paper.” “Draw
the Curtains”
, said Amoranda, “and let me see
; Jenny gave her the Box, and when she
had opened the Paper, she found it was a Contract
betwixt Lord Lofty, and a Lady of whom
she had often heard, but never saw; and
if Lord Lofty receded from his Promise of
marrying the Lady, he should then forfeit Ten
Thousand Pounds, as an Addition to her Fortune.
This Contract nettled Amoranda to the
very Heart: “How!” said she, “does my Lord
come here to affront me with his Declarations
against Marriage, and at the same time is going
to engage himself so firmly to another?
Base as he is”
, said she, “am I a Person fit only to
divert those Hours, in which he cannot gain
Admittance to one he likes better? Give me
my Clothes”
, said she, “I will be revenged of
him, or lose my Life in the Attempt.”

Poor Jenny, who never saw her Lady angry
in her Life before, began to repent she had said
any thing of the Box, and was now afraid her
Lady lov’d Lord Lofty; “Madam”, said she, “I
would not have your Ladyship in such a Passion,
for by the Date of this Contract, one
would believe my Lord never intended to give
it the Lady at all; it has been sign’d and sealed
above a Month, if it was dated at the same
“Jenny”, said Amoranda, recovering herself,
and smilling; “I fancy by your Looks you
are afraid I have an inward private Inclination for D6r 37
for this worthless Peer; but as thou hast always
been a faithful honest Servant, I will contribute
so far towards thy Ease, as to assure thee,
he is upon the same Foot with the rest of his
Sex, and I know none upon Earth I have a superior
Value for; but I own, I have so just a
Resentment against his Behaviour to me, that
if the Lady this Paper was designed for will
accept of it, I will certainly make her a Present
of it to-morrow.”
“But Madam”, said Jenny,
“may-be my Lord may come and enquire for
“If he comes to-day”, said Amoranda, “tell
him I see no company, and to-morrow I will
put it out of his Reach,—if my Mind does
not alter, Jenny, as I believe it will; for, upon
second Thoughts, it is a Matter of very
great Consequence, and I would not contribute
to a Man’s continual Uneasiness neither;
however, I am resolved to see no Company to
day, except Callid and Froth, so pray give
Orders accordingly below-stairs.”

Jenny was very glad to see her Lady recover
her Temper so soon, and when she had obey’d
her Commands, she returned to dress her, and
then Amoranda went down to Formator; they
paid each other the common Compliment of
a Good-morrow, and then went to Breakfast in
Amoranda’s Closet, for fear of a Visit from Lord
, who came before they had well begun.
But his Errand was different from what they
expected, for he neither enquired for, nor had missed D6v 38
missed his Box; but when they told him Amoranda
saw no Company that Day; “I know it,
, said he, she told me Yesterday she would
see no-body but me; Where is she?”
then without
staying for an Answer, he ran from Room
to Room till he found her. Amoranda thought
his ill-manner’d Freedom proceeded from his
Concern for his Box, and was once going to
return it, in order to get rid of him, but a better
Genius twitched her by the Ear, and bid
her keep it. “Madam”, said he, with his wonted
Assurance, “how will you answer this Behaviour
to Good-nature? and what have I done to deserve

“My Lord”, said Amoranda, “I retire sometimes
from Company, to make it more acceptable
to me when I come into it again; and this, I
think, I may do as often as I please, without
a Breach in either Good-nature or Good-manners.”
“True, Madam”, said my Lord, “but I
would feign be acceptable always.”
found by this Answer he had not missed his
Box, or at least did not suspect she had it; and
therefore told him, she was surprised to hear
him say he would be always acceptable, after
having declared so heartily against Matrimony.
“I fancy, my Lord”, said she, “you will find a Mistress
a little given to Variety, and will hardly
like you always as much as you think you deserve.”
Formator, who colour’d at this Discourse,
began to take up the Cudgels; “My Lord, E1r 39
, said he, “I am sent here by very good
Authority, and have a Commission to enquire
every Man’s Business that comes into this
House; I therefore desire to know if, as the
Lady says, you declare against Matrimony,
what your Designs are in coming here?”
, said my Lord, to Amoranda, “What
queer old Prig is this? Hark-ye, Friend”
, said
he to Formator, “your Business now is in the
other World, and you would do well to go and
prepare for it, without envying us the Pleasures
you are past yourself.”
“My Lord”, said
Formator, “I am still very capable of Pleasure,
and the greatest I can possibly have, is to preserve
the lovely Charge committed to my Care,
which I will do to the utmost Extremity of my
Power; and do here promise you, till you give
a better Account of your Intentions, you shall
never see her more.”
Amoranda was not very
well pleased with what Formator said; for tho’
she was perfectly insensible of any Passion for
my Lord, and knew his dishonourable Designs,
she could not think of loosing a Lover of his
Title and Figure, without some Emotion, and
said to Formator, with a little Warmth, “I think
Sir, you assume a Power too great for so short
a Time, and I should take it kindly if you would
give me leave to dismiss my Visitors myself.”

This gave my Lord a new Supply of Hopes,
and he asked Amoranda, Leave to pull him by
the Nose. “No, my Lord”, said she, “whoever E lays E1v 40
lays a Finger upon him has seen his last of me.”

“Madam”, said Formator, “if I have been so unhappy
as to say any thing to disoblige you, I
do here in the humblest manner ask your Pardon;
but if I am not to take Notice of such
Behaviour as Lord Lofty’s, I have no Business
here, but may forthwith return to him that
sent me: For your Part, my Lord, you dare
not pull me by the Nose.”
Saying thus, he left
the Closet, but sent Jenny directly up to her
Lady, with a Charge to stay with her till my
Lord was gone, unless she commanded her otherwise,
and then he knew what he had to fear.

Amoranda, on the other Hand, found she
had vexed Formator, which she began to be
sorry for, because she knew it would highly
disoblige one of the best Uncles in the World,
and therefore begg’d my Lord to leave her for
that Time. He told her he would do ten thousand
Things to oblige her, and desir’d but one
in return of all. “When I understand you, my
, said she, “I shall know what Answer to
make; in the mean time, I repeat the Request
I have already made you, to leave me
My Lord, with a little too much Freedom
snatch’d her to his Arms, took a Kiss,
and vanish’d. As soon as he was gone, she
went down to Formator, and found him in the
Parlour, in a very thoughtful melancholy Posture;
“Formator”, said she, “I am come to tell you,
I am under some Concern for what has happened
to-day: I have, to oblige you, sent my Lord E2r 41
Lord away, and do here faithfully promise
you, I will never come into his Company more
without your Approbation. I own, I have the
greatest Inclination in the World to please you;
and as I believe you sincerely to be my Friend,
as such I will always use you, and let this little
early Quarrel rivet our future Amity.”
was so transported at her good-natur’d Condescension,
that he could hardly forbear throwing
himself at her Feet; but he considered, Raptures
were unsuitable to his Age, so contented
himself with saying, “Madam, of what Use is
our Reason, if we chain it up when we most
want it? had yours had its Liberty, it would
have shewn you the villainous Designs of your
Noble Lover, it would have told you how much
he desires your Ruin, that all the Love he has for
you is to satisfy his own bestial Desires, rob you
of your Innocence and Honour, then leave you
to the World to finish the Misery he began, by
being pity’d and despis’d, as long as you
live: It is true, Madam”
, continued he, “you
have a Fortune that sets you above the World;
but when I was a young Fellow, we used to value
a Lady for Virtue, Modesty, and innate
Love to Honour. I confess, Madam”
, said he,
“those are unfashionable Qualities, but they are
still the chief Ornaments of your Sex, and ours
never think a Woman compleat without them.
Give me leave, Madam”
, said he, “to go a little
farther, and tell you how great your MisfortuneE2 fortune E2v 42
has been, in being left so long to the
Choice of your own Company; your Good-
nature, and want of Experience, together with
a greedy Desire of Flattery, which (pardon
me, Madam) is a Weakness attending the whole
Sex, has encouraged such a Heap of Vermin
about you, as Providence would not suffer to
live, were it not to give us a better Taste for
the brave, the just, the honourable and the
honest Man.”

Amoranda was so touch’d with what Formator
said that the Tears stood in her Eyes; and
she was just going to beg he would have done,
when the Bell rung for Dinner, and put a Stop
to what remain’d; she was never so lectur’d in
her Life before; however, she was convinc’d in
her own Breast, that every Word was true. As
soon as Dinner was over my Friend Froth came
in, with a Design to sift Amoranda’s Inclinations
once more; and if he found her leaning to
his Side as much as he desir’d, then to discover
all; if not, stay till Callid came, and join with
him in the Invitation at Night. Formator, who
was told before he came in who he was, left Amoranda
and him together; and having a fair
Opportunity of trying his Fortune once more,
he thus began; “Madam, I have often look’d
with envious Eyes on the Favours you confer
on Mr. Callid; but Madam, as you can’t have
us both, I wish you would (for the Ease of one
of us at least) declare in favour of him you like, and E3r 43
and let the other travel.”
“Mr. Froth”, said she, “your
Friend and you are endowed with such equal
Merit, it is hardly possible to say which I like
best; beside, if I should declare in Favour of
you, Mr. Callid would not believe I was in earnest;
and if I should say I like him best, you are
too conscious of your own Worth to think I
speak from my Heart: In short, every thinkg we
do you construe to your own Advantage; if
we look easy and pleas’d in your Company, we
are certainly in Love, if grave and reserv’d ’tis
to hide our Love; thus you all imagine we are
fond of gaining a Conquest over a Heart which
when we have got it is perhaps so very trifling
that we dispose of it at last as we do of our old
Gowns, give it away to our Chamber-maid.”

“But Madam”, said Froth, “if you please, we will
lay by general Comparisons, and come to Particulars
betwixt Callid and myself; and if I from
undeniable Reasons prove I deserve best from
you, will you promise accordingly to reward me?”

“I faithfully promise”, said Amoranda, “to reward
ye both as ye deserve; but here is Mr.
coming, I’ll warrant he has as much to
say for himself as you have.”
Mr. Callid came
to ’em, and said to Amoranda “I have provided
a little Country Entertainment for you, Madam,
if you will do me the Honour to see it
“You are always so very obliging”, said
Amoranda,―― “but you know, Mr. Callid, I
never go far from home.”
“No farther than your E3 own E3v 44
own Summer-house, Madam”
, said he, “I have
engaged a few of my Tenants to appear in a
rural Dress, and give you a Shepherd’s Dance;
they have been practising this Fortnight, and
I am in Hopes they may prove perfect enough
to give you some Diversion; I have ordered
them to be there exactly at Ten o’Clock, by
which time the Road will be quiet, and the
Moon up: And Madam”
, said Froth, “a Dance
of Shepherds and Shepherdesses looks so natural
by Moon-light.”
――“Yes”, said Amoranda, so
it does; and I promise myself already a great
deal of Pleasure from the Hour ye speak of;
but I wish I had known it in the Morning, I
would have engaged Lord Lofty to come himself,
and have brought some Ladies with him.
No matter”
, said she, “we will have it to ourselves;
and Gentlemen, I desire you will not
sup before ye come; for I shall take care of a
small Repast for you, and we will sup in the
Summer-house, that we may be near our Diversion.”
“Come then, Froth”, said Callid, “we
will go and see them do it once more before
they perform in the Lady’s view; for nothing
could be so great a Baulk to me, as to have
any thing wrong where she is to be a Spectator.”
As soon as they were gone, Amoranda
called Formator, and bid him chuse a Companion
for the Exploit in hand; for she had promised
the two Gentlemen a Supper in the
Summer-house, and she would feign have
them have a Belly-full.

For- E4r 45

Formator took the young Lady’s Advice,
and went to chuse a good Sturdy Fellow, to
personate Jenny, while he did as much by Amoranda;
and when the appointed Time was
come, they took their Places in the Summerhouse,
with each a good Crab-tree Cudgel by
him; and after a little Expectation, the two
impudent Varlets came, ask’d for Amoranda
with their wonted Sauciness; and being told
she was in the Garden, flew to their hop’d-for
Prize. Callid ran as he thought to Amoranda,
and catching her in his Arms, cryed, “No Resistance
Madam, by Jove you must along with
: Froth did the same by the supposed Jenny;
and just as they were going to gag them, and
call their Associates (who waited in the Lane
for the Sign) to their Assistance, the two Ladies
began to handle their Cudgels, and laid about
them with such Dexterity, that the Ravishers
were almost knock’d o’ the Head before
they could believe they were beaten; so great
was their Surprize, and so little did they expect
to meet with such Resistance: But when they
found the Blows come faster on, without regard
to either Sex or Quality, they began to
draw their Swords; Formator struck Callid’s
out of his Hand, and the Foot-man tripp’d up
Froth’s Heels, before he could get his out of the
Scabberd; which he would not have attempted
to do, but that he thought his Antagonist a
Woman. All this while the two Ladies laid on E4v 46
on so unmercifully, that they began to cry
Quarter and beg for Mercy, when the Noise
reached the House, and they saw Amoranda,
with Lights before her, coming in a great
Surprize, to see what the matter was. Callid,
when he saw her and Jenny, could hardly believe
his half beaten-out Eyes, but stood staring,
first at the real Lady, and then at the
feign’d one; but when he found how Matters
went, he cry’d “Froth thou Villain, thou hast
betray’d me.”
“If I have”, said Froth, “I am ill
rewarded for it, and believe I shall never stir
either Hand or Foot again.”
“Well Gentlemen”,
said Amoroanda, “are the Shepherds come? when
does the Dance begin?”
“It is over, Madam”,
said Formator, “these Gentlemen have been cutting
Capers this half Hour to a sorrowful new
“Why, what is the matter?” said she,
“I hope you have not hurt them.”

“Nothing Madam”, said Formator, “but Harry
and I took a Frolick to sit here this Evening
in Masquerade, and these two Beaus had a
mind to Ravish us, I think, for they were going
to gag us. I am sorry Sir”
, said he to Callid,
“that I was forced to exercise my Cudgel
upon you, I hope you will excuse it; had I
been in another Dress I would have used another
“I think”, said Amoranda, “he did
not stand upon so much Ceremony with you,
for I see he has drawn his Sword, though he
took you for a Woman.”
“Yes”, said Callid ready E5r 47
ready to choak with Rage, Despair, and Disappointment,
“I took him for you, on whom
I would have had a glorious Revenge, had it
prov’d so. Oh! Death and Fury”
, said he,
“what malicious Devil interpos’d? but it is some
Satisfaction to tell you how I would have used
you, had Fortune been so kind as to have put
you in my Power; know then, proud Beauty,
I would”
―― “I know already”, said Amoranda
interrupting him, “as much of your Designs as
you can tell me; but Gentlemen”
, said she, “if
the Czar should not take ye into his Service,
when ye have received the Money from my
Banker, pray let me know, and I will make
a better Provision for you; I have an Uncle
going to the Indies who wants Slaves, and I
believe, at my Request he would take ye into
his Service; in the mean Time, do me the Favour
to leave this Place; for I have had just as
much of your Company as I can dispence with.”

“I hope Madam”, said Froth, whose Tongue
was the only Part about him he could stir without
Pain, “you have more Hospitality in you,
than to turn us out of your House in this Condition;
you had more need send for a Surgeon
to set our dislocated Joints in order, and wrap
us up in Sear-cloth, I don’t believe I shall live
a Week.”
“That”, said Amoranda, “would be a
great Pity, the World would have a sad Loss
of so worthy a Man; but I hear you have a
Coach hard by; I shall order two of my Servantsvants E5v 48
to load each of them with a Knave, and
convey ye both to it: I hope ye will own I have
been as good as my Word; I promised ye a Supper
and Desert, and I believe ye have had both.”

Upon which she and her Retinue went away,
leaving the two batter’d Beaus in the Summer-
house, till a Couple of lusty Fellows came to
take them up and shoot the Rubbish into the
Coach. The Servants who carried them away,
left them and returned home; and as soon as
they were gone Callid accused Froth of Treachery,
and laid the whole Discovery to his
Charge. Froth declared his Innocence, and urged
his own Share of the Suffering as a Proof
he was so; but Callid’s Disappointment had
sour’d his Temper, as well as made him desperate;
and he was resolved to be deaf to all
Froth could say in his own Vindication; and
though they were both so bruised they could
hardly stand, he made the other draw, who
was innoecent in Fact, tho’ not in Intention;
and though they lived like Scoundrels, they
went off like Gentlemen; and the first Pass
they made took away each other’s Life.

This News soon reached Amoranda’s Ear,
whose tender Heart felt a great deal of Pity
for the tragical Catastrophe; but Formator
told her, he thought she ought rather to rejoice,
if she had a true Sense of a Fellow Creature’s
Sufferings; “for”, said he, “when once a
Man has outlived his Fortune and his Friends, his E6r 49
his next Relief is the Grave.”
He had now pretty
well cleared the House of the Caterpillers that
infested it; and began to take the greatest Delight
in his Charge; his constant Care was to
divert her from all the Follies of Life, and as she
had a Soul capable of Improvement, and a
flexible good Temper to be delt with, he made
no doubt but one Day he should see her the most
accomplish’d of her Sex; in order to which he
provided a choice Collection of Books for her,
spent most of his Time with her, diverted her
with a thousand pleasant Stories, possibly of his
own making; and every Moment was lost to
Formator that was not spent with Amoranda.

Lord Lofty had made two Visits during this
Time, but Formator would not admit him;
and by Amoranda’s Consent, told him she was
engaged; which nettled the Peer so much,
that he writ to her in the Bitterness of his
Soul, the following Words;

“Madam, If it was possible for me to unriddle a Woman’s
Behaviour, I should immediately try my Skill
upon yours; but as I believe Men of deeper Penetration
than I have been baffled, I must even,
with the rest, leave you to your own wild Mazes:
One Day caress’d, the next cashier’d a third receiv’d
again, and a fourth quite banish’d. However,
though this be a common Treatment from most
of your Sex, I never had Cause to mind it so much in E6v 50
in you, till this old whimsical Fellow came to
give you ridiculous Advice, and your Adorers
endless Torment: What the Devil have our Years
to do with his? Or why must his pernicious
Counsel disturb our Pleasure? If you have that
Value for me still which you once gave me Reason
to hope you had, you will meet me in the little
Grove at the End of your own Garden, about
Nine o’Clock, where I will acquaint you with
some Secrets you never knew before: I have
contrived a Way to it without coming near the
House, and your old Argus will never suspect
you, if you come alone to the Arms of
Your Faithful Admirer, Lofty.”

Before Amoranda had done reading this Letter,
a Servant came and told her, a Gentleman
on Horseback at the Gate desir’d to know if
he might be admitted to her Presence, for a
quarter of an Hour; his Business was a little
urgent, but it would be soon over.

Poor Amoranda had been so lately in Jeopardy
that she was now afraid of every-body,
and durst do nothing without Formator, who
went to know the Gentleman’s Name; but
when he came to the Gate, he saw a poor,
thin, pale, meagre young Creature, hardly
able to sit his Horse; who looked as if he wanted
a Doctor more than a Mistress. When he had F1r 51
had viewed him well, he was ashamed to ask
him any Questions, thinking he might as well
be afraid of a Shadow as such a Skeleton as he
was; and therefore desired him to alight,
which, with the Help of two Servants he had
with him, he did. Formator conducted him in,
and left him with Amoranda; when the Stranger
was sate (for he was very ill able to stand)
he first begg’d Amoranda to shut the Door,
that none might be Witness to his wretched
Tale but herself; and then with a Flood of
Tears began thus:

“It is the Way of the Damn’d, Madam, to
desire all Mankind should be in their own miserable
State; but though I am as wretched as
they, I am not so envious: And it is to prevent
your Fate, and receive your Pity, that
I am come at this time to you. ‘Sir’, said Amoranda,
‘your Looks without your Tale call for
Pity; and I intreat you to drink a Glass of
something to comfort you, before you spend
the few remaining Spirits you have left, in a
Story which I foresee will give you Pain in the
‘Alas! Madam’, said he, ‘Food and
I are become Strangers to each other; but it
is all the Pleasure I have to repeat my Wrongs,
and my tortured Heart is never capable of a
Moment’s Ease, but when I am complaining.’

Amoranda was in the utmost Perplexity to find
out what whining romantick Lover she had
got; and could not imagine where the AdventureF ture F1v 52
would end, or how her Fate came to be
concerned in the Matter: But the poor Afflicted
soon let her into the Secret, which she
began to be impatient to know. ‘Madam’, said
the Stranger, ‘I am now going to tell you a
Story, which will melt you into the greatest
Pity; but before I proceed, intreat you will
not be too severe upon my Conduct; or say
when I have done, I have reaped the Desert
of my own Folly.’
Amoranda promised her
best Attention, without any Reflection at all;
and the Stranger thus began.”

“The first Thing I am to inform you of,
Madam, is my Sex, which is not what it appears
to be; I am a Woman, a wretched, miserable,
unhappy Woman! My Father was
the eldest Son of an ancient Family, born to
a very plentiful Estate; and when he died left
only one Son and myself, my Mother died
soon after I was born, and my Father left me
wholly to the Care of my Brother, who was
at Age when he died; and my Fortune, which
was Five Thousand Pounds, was to be paid
me, when I married, or was of Age, and to be
kept in my Brother’s Hands till then. I was
then about fourteen Years old, and my Brother,
who was my Father too, used me with all
the Tenderness that coud be expected from so
near a Relation; and had he kept within the
Bounds of Honour, and loved me only as a
Sister, I might have reckoned myself in the Number F2r 53
Number of the Happy. A whole Year passed
over with the greatest Innocence; and my
Brother’s Love seemed faultless and natural;
but when I was turned of Fifteen, in the Height
of my Bloom and Pride of Beauty, I was one
Day dressed to most Advantage, for a Ball in
the Neighbourhood, when my Brother came
in, and looking steadfastly at me, ‘Altemira!’
said he, ‘O Altemira! you are too lovely.’ Then
snatching me to his Bosom, pressed me with a
Warmth, which a little surprised me. I broke
loose from his Embraces, and asked him what
he meant; he seem’d a little confounded, and
left the Room. I confess, I was under some
Apprehension of an approaching Misfortune,
but was loth to harbour any Thought to the
Disadvantage of so dear a Brother; and therefore
imputed the Action rather to Chance than
Design. He came to the Ball, but would neither
dance nor speak; nay, nor so much as
look at any thing but me, which only I took
Notice of. When the Company broke up, he
convey’d me home; and as we were going, he
sigh’d, and said, I had made him very wretched.
‘How! Brother’, said I, not willing to
understand him, ‘by what Behaviour am I so
wretched to make you so?’
‘Oh! Altemira!’ said
he, ‘cease to talk, your Actions had been better
had they been worse; for who can see so
much Perfection without Love, without Adoration?
Oh! Altemira! I must, I will enjoy F2 you, F2v 54
It is not possible for me to tell you, Madam,
how shocking this was to me; I could
hardly keep from swooning in the Coach; but
my Passion found Vent at my Eyes; and with
ten thousand Tears, I begg’d him to recal
his scattered Senses, to arm his Reason for his
own Defence, to consider, I was a Sister; nay,
a Sister, who was left wholly to his Care; and
One who had none to fly to for Redress of Injuries,
but him; ‘and am I so entirely miserable,
as to find my Ruin where I seek my
said I, ‘O! by the Ashes of our
dead Father and Mother, by all the Ties of
natural Affection, of Honour, Virtue, and
every Thing we hold dear in this Life; if you
have any Regard to my Welfare or your own,
stifle this guilty Flame, and let me quench it
with my Tears.’

‘I wish, Altemira’, said he, ‘I could quench it
with my own; but it is grown too fierce to be
extinguish’d; I have keep it under a great
while, and with my utmost Care endeavoured
to supress it; but alas! my Attempts were
vain, it was too powerful for me, and is now
broken out with such Violence, that unless you
stop its Force, I must consume to Ashes in the
midst on’t.’
My Heart at those Words sunk
both with Horror and Pity; I saw an only
Brother, whom I dearly and tenderly loved, a
black Criminal, entangled in a guilty lawless
Love, while I, who only had the Power of relieving F3r 55
relieving him, lay under an indispensible Duty
of refusing to do so. As soon as we alighted
out of the Coach, we went to our different
Apartments; how my poor Brother spent his
Night, I know not, but mine went on with a
heavy Pace; I counted every dull Hour as it
came, and bathed in Tears, lay thinking how
to extricate myself from the miserable Condition
I was in. I found my unfortunate Brother
was too far gone to be brought to Reason; and
had often heard, a desperate Desease must have
a desperate Cure; I therefore resolved to end
his Pain, by Absence, and go where he should
never see me, till I was satisfied he had got the
better of his own Folly.

In order to this, I got up when the Clock
struck Four, and calling my Maid, who lay in
a Closet just by me, I made her pack up some
Cloaths for me and herself; and taking all my
Mother’s Jewels, which were now mine, and
what ready Money I had, we went down unheard
or observed by any-body, and took the
Road to a Wood hard by: I well knew as soon
as my Brother were up, he would, as usual, come
to enquire after my Health, and when he missed
me, make strict Enquiry after me; I therefore
thought it most advisable to stay a Day or
two where we were, till the Search was a little
over, and then pursue my intended Journey.
My Maid favour’d my Design, though she
knew it not, by stepping into the Buttery beforeF3 fore F3v 56
she came out, and filling her Pocket with
something for her Breakfast, which we lived
on two Days. In a Thicket in the Wood we
found a Shepherd’s Hut deserted by the Owner,
where we lay that Night; and the next Day
towards Evening we ventur’d to a Farmer’s
House, where for a Guinea to the Man, who was
newly come, and knew neither of us, he undertook
to carry us both where I directed him.
When I was about eleven Years of Age, we
had a Female Servant who was Cook, and had
lived in the Family many Years. She just then
married away, and to her I went; she was exceedingly
surpris’d to see me at such an early
Hour, (for we rid all Night,) and no better attended.
‘Here’, said I to the Man that brought
us, ‘there is your Hire, and a Crown to drink,
make the best of your Way home again.’
now thought myself the happiest Creature
upon Earth, for I saw myself safe, and had
one to whom I durst intrust my Secret,
which I never did to my Maid Kitty, because
I would not expose my Brother, and for
which she ow’d me, and paid me a Grudge.
The Woman to whose House we were come,
was always call’d, when she liv’d with my Father,
by the Name of her Place, Cook; and so
I shall call her for the future: She married a
Gardiner, who liv’d for some time with Lord
; I presume, Madam”
, said she, “you know
the Man, and so do I too well. It was, no doubt F4r 57
doubt decreed that I should never have Rest,
otherwise I should have miss’d his fatal Acquaintance.
“Pray, Madam”, said Amoranda,
“give me Leave to interrupt you so long, as
while I ask you, Whether you ever favour’d
me with a Letter in your Life?”
“That, Madam,”
said Altemira, “you shall know presently.
I had not been three Days at Cook’s before my
Lord came that way a hunting; and just at
Dinner-time, being very hungry, he popp’d
in upon us before we were aware of him. It
is possible you will not readily believe I ever
had a Face worth looking at, while you see no
Remains of a good one; but”
――“there I interrupt
you again”
, said Amoranda, “for though
you have now a livid, pale Complection, your
Features are still fine; and a little Quiet of
Mind would raise those fallen Cheeks to their
usual Plumpness.”
“Be that as it will”, said Altemira,
“Lord Lofty saw something in it which
he thought worth his Notice; and he no sooner
cast an Eye upon me than he vow’d an everlasting
Love; he took Cook aside, and
found out who I was, but not the Occasion
which brought me there. He spent the remaining
Part of the Day with us, and most of
the Night, before he could be persuaded to
leave us; and next Day he came again, and
said ten thousand Things to win a foolish
Heart: And I must own, I began to be too
well pleased with every Word that fell from his F4v 58
his bewitching Tongue; he soon perceiv’d it,
and as soon took the Advantage of my Weakness.
One Day as we were alone, he began to
take some Liberty, which I was not very well
pleas’d with, and said, ‘my Lord, you abuse
the Freedom I have given you; I have hitherto
believed your Intentions honourable; you
know best whether they are so or no; if they
are not, be assured your Quality will stand for
very little in my Esteem; and till I am better
satisfied in that Point, your Lordship will excuse
me if I see you no more.’
Saying thus, I
left the Room, and went to my own, where
I lock’d myself up, and came no more out
while my Lord stay’d, which was some Hours.
The next Morning, before my Eyes were well
open’d to read it, a Letter came from him
fill’d with ten thousand Protestations of his
Sincerity; and if I would but give him Leave
once more to throw himself at my Feet, he
would soon convince me of his Reality. I have
already own’d, his oily Tongue had made an
Impression on my Heart; and I took a secret
Pleasure in hoping all he said was true: I sent
no answer back by the Messenger, which was
giving a tacit Consent to another Interview;
and I saw him at my Feet before I thought the
Messenger could have return’d. Oh! what
an assiduous Creature is Man before Enjoyment!
and what a careless, negligent Wretch
after it! ‘Dear Altemira’, said my Lord, ‘Why do F5r 59
do you use me with such Contempt? What
shall I do to convince you of the real Value I
have for you? Is there one Oath left I have not
sworn to confirm my Love to you? Or can my
Actions display themselves with greater Ardency
than I have already shewn?’
‘Yes, my Lord’,
said I, ‘there is one Action yet remains which
must authorize all the rest, that once done I
am yours for ever; but till then you know
what you have to trust to.’
‘I understand you Madam,’
said the base Deceiver, ‘and I greatly approve
your cautious Proceedings; you shall
soon be satisfy’d in every Point, and I will break
through all my own Measures to make you easy;
To -morrow’s Sun shall see us one.’
this Promise he staid not long, but left me in
the greatest, the highest Tranquility I ever
knew. When my Lord was gone, Cook came
to me, and told me, she was afraid there was
some Juggle betwixt Lord and Kitty; ‘for
I have seen him whispering with her twice’
, said
she; ‘and beg you will have a care what you do,
and how you trust her; she is very sullen at
something, and has been out of Humour ever
since she came here.’”

‘I know it’, said I, ‘and the Reason is, because
I have not let her into the Secret of leaving
my Brother’s House.’
‘I wish’, said Cook, ‘you
would part with her, I do not like her; I can
recommend one to you just now, who will, I
am sure, be very just to you.’

No F5v 60

‘No’, said I, ‘I will first be convinc’d of her
Behaviour, I hate a strange Face.’
‘Well Madam,’
said Cook, ‘I wish you may not repent it.’
For my Part, I was so full of Satisfaction at the
Promise my Lord had made me, that I could
find Room for no other Thought and went
to Bed two Hours sooner than usual, that I
might indulge it without Interruption. As soon
as Day appear’d, my poor unwary Heart gave
a fresh Alarm to Love and Joy; and when I
heard the Family stirring I got up and dressed
me to the best Advantage, expecting every
Hour to see my Lord, attended by his Chaplain.
At last I saw my Lord enter, but no
Chaplain; he came to me and said, ‘My Altemira,
I am now come to remove all your
Doubts; take this’
, said he, pulling out a Paper,
‘and let it convince you how much I love.’
I open’d the Paper, and found it a Promise to
marry me, with a Bond of ten thousand
Pounds, if ever he receded from his Word.
I own, I was much pleased with the Paper,
which he gave me in great Form, as his Act
and Deed, before Cook and her Husband, who
were both Witnesses to it; but I could not
find out the Meaning of it, and said, ‘my Lord,
if you design to marry me, what Occasion is
there for all this Formality and Stuff? I presume
you are your own Master; what then retards
your Design?’
‘I will tell you, my dearest
, said he ‘when you and I are alone.lone. F6r 61’
‘Well’, said I, ‘let me go and lay by this
Paper, and I’ll wait upon you again’
: I went up
to my Chamber, and lock’d it up in a Scrutore
which stood in the Room, and of which I had
the Key, and then return’d to my Lord, whom
I found all alone; ‘Well my Lord’, said I, with
a much freer Air than usual, ‘now we are alone,
pray let me hear this Secret.’
‘Altemira’, said this
base Impostor, ‘I now look upon you with a
Husband’s Eyes; you are in foro Conscientia my
Wife, and as such I will entrust you with all
I know: About nine Months ago, I saw the
Lady whom I admired then, as I do you now;
and after I had made my Addresses to her some
time, she consented to crown my wishes, and
we were to be marrried in a Month’s time, but
before it was expir’d, with the true Spirit of Inconstancy,
which reigns in most of your Sex, she
jilted me, and admitted another, to whom she is
to be married next Week. Now my Dear’
, said
he should I marry first, I fling all her own Levity
at my Door, and say the Falshood was mine;
for which Reason, since she is so near Marriage I
will deny myself the Pleasure of thy dear Arms
a few Days, rather than undergo the Scandal of
doing an ill Action to a fine Woman.’
was a Gloss set upon as base a Design as ever
Villain invented; and I, who look’d upon all
he said as from an Oracle, gave a pleasing Ear
to it. He stay’d not late at Night, but came
again early next Day; for he lived within three little F6v 62
little Miles of Cook’s House, and every Time
he came grew more familiar with me: I must
confess to you, good Madam, I loved this Ingrate
to Distraction; and after such a firm substantial
Proof of his, as I had lock’d up, I
thought myself exceedingly secure; my Fear
and Caution which used to attend me constantly
now left me, and I had no other Desires
than to please my Undoer. Three or
four Days after he had given me the above-
mentioned Paper, he came and said, ‘my Altemira,
you have never seen my House, I desire
you will go with me to-day, and dine there;
I hope I have given you too many Demonstrations
of Love, to leave you any Room for
‘My Lord’, said I, ‘it is now my Interest
to believe every thing that is good of you,
and I have no Fear of any thing but a want
of Power to please you always.’
After some
other Discourse I went up to dress, and you
may be sure I left no Charm behind me, which
I could possib!ly take with me; Cook was not willing
I should go, but durst not be known to
persuade me from it, because my Lord was
a good Friend to her Husband; however, I
ventured to go, and met with all the civil
Treatment in the World. I now thought myself
at home, and was pleased to think how
soon I should give my Brother an Account of
my good Fortune from thence? But alas! my
Doom was near, my eternal Destruction just at G1r 63
at hand. When we were at Dinner a Letter came
for my Lord, which he read, and gave it to me;
it was an Account of the Lady’s being marry’d,
whom he had some Days before told me of. ‘Now
, said he, ‘it is our Turn, To-morrow you
and I will join our Hands.’
When Dinner was
over he sent his Chaplain for a Licence, who
accordingly brought one, which he shewed me.
The Afternoon we spent in different Diversions;
and at Night, when I would have gone to Cook’s,
my Lord said I should never leave the House till
it was my own, and begg’d I would be satisfy’d
to stay all Night; he told me that I should
have a Room to myself and Maid, and in the
Morning Hymen would crown our Wishes. I
own, I was not long persuading to comply;
but soon consented to my own Undoing; for
about One o’Clock, when all the House was
gone to Bed, I heard a little Knocking at my
Chamber-door; Kitty immediately rose, without
saying any thing to me, and open’d the
Door; my Lord enter’d, and came to my
Bed-side. Kitty, the treacherous Kitty, put
on her Clothes, and left the Room, as she
had been instructed. ‘My dearest Altemira’,
said my Lord, ‘it is impossible for me to
rest while you are so near me; give me a
Bridegroom’s Privilege, and let me lie down
by you.’
I found myself under some Concern
at his Proposal, but consider’d, a few
Hours would give him a just Title to all I had G in G1v 64
in Possession; I called every Circumstance to
my Memory; the firm Engagement I had under
his Hand; the Letter from London of the
Lady’s Marriage; the Licence, and Preparations
which were made, and the Millions of
Oaths and Vows which I had received from a
perjur’d Tongue of an eternal Love; all these
in Conjunction with an unguarded Hour, made
me a Prey to the basest of Men. In short, Madam,
he gained his Ends; and after some Hours
Enjoyment got up, and left me. Kitty, when
he went out, came in again, but I was so little
apprehensive of my own Fate, that I said not
much to her, but got up and re-assumed all my
Charms. When we were at Breakfast, my
Lord said with a sort of Raillery; ‘It shall never
be said, Madam, that you come to me
to be married; if you think fit, we’ll confirm
our Vows at Cook’s as you call her.’
all my Heart, my Lord’
, said I, she is Witness
to our Contract, let her also see our Nuptials.’
When we had done, the Coach was order’d
to the Door, and Lord Lofty put me into
it, and accompanied me to Cook’s: ‘Now,
, said he, ‘I will leave you for an Hour,
and then return with my Chaplain: In the
mean time’
, said he to Cook, send for what Provisions
you think fit for Dinner to my House,
and do you dress it well, and I will help to eat it.’

This was no sooner said, than my Lord whipt
into the Coach and drove away. As soon as he G2r 65
he was gone my Maid came to me, and said,
‘Madam, I have heard by Chance my Mother
is not well; I beg you will give me Leave to
go and see her; if she recovers I will return;
if not you may be pleased to provide yourself
of another, I shall give you an early Account.’

‘Kitty’, said I, ‘it falls out unluckily for you; but
who can help Misfortunes? I am not willing
to part with you; and if you can return in a
Month’s time, so long I will stay for you.’
Jade thank’d me, and went away.

I was now left alone with honest Cook; then
she asked me, if I was married? I told her, ‘No,
but very near it.’
She shaked her Head, and
said, she hoped I had brought the same Treasure
back with me which I took to my Lord’s,
for he was going this Morning to London. ‘How
do you know’
, said I, in a distracted Tone, ‘I
, said she ‘to enquire for you last Night,
when I found you came not back, but was not
admitted to see you; and I then heard Orders
given, for the best Horses to be got ready
for London in the Morning.’
‘Good Heaven!’
said I, ‘can this be true? Is there no such thing
as Justice in Man? No Faith in their Oaths
and Vows? Oh Cook!’
said I, ‘if you are still
my Friend, as I hope you are, send thither
this Minute to know the Truth of what you
tell me; but I fear’
, continued I, ‘there is too
much in it, both by his bringing me here again,
and by Kitty’s going away; that Wench has G2 certainly G2v 66
certainly sold me to him, and I am undone;
for Oh!’
said I, ‘all is gone.’ While Cook was
preparing to send to my Lord’s, a Footman
came with a Letter for me; he just deliver’d
it, and went off, which I open’d and read, as

“Madam, An Unlucky Accident has forced me away to
London; it is so very sudden, that I have
not Time to excuse my going. I hope, at my Return,
I shall find you where I left you; and you
shall find me,
Your most Obedient, Lofty.”

As soon as I had read this Letter my Spirits
sunk, and I remained breathless in my Chair;
when Cook came in to know what News, she
saw the Paper dropt at my Foot, and guessed
something of the Contents. I was conveyed to
my Bed, where I lay for some Days in a most
miserable Condition; though in the Midst of all
my cruel Reflections, I found my Conscience
clear’d myself, and I was in hopes my Lord’s
Bond would in some measure, justify my Actions
to the World. With this little Satisfaction
I got up, and went to the Scrutore, to take
out and look at all the Hopes I had left; I
fully design’d, if he refused to marry me at
his Return, to sue his Bond, recover the Ten
Thousand Pounds, and chuse a quiet Retirementment G3r 67
from the World, where I might end my
Days in Peace: But Oh! what Tongue can
tell my Surprise, Confusion and Despair, when
I miss’d the Paper, which I had put into a Silver
Box, and both were gone together.

I called Cook with a feeble Voice, who came
to me, to hear my new Complaints. ‘O Cook!’
said I, ‘my Misery is now compleat, I have lost
my Lord’s Bond and Promise of Marriage; it
was in a Silver Box in this Scrutore.’
‘A Silver
said Cook, ‘I saw Kitty put one in her
Pocket the fatal Day you went to my Lord’s,
and ask’d her what was in it? she said, her
Lady’s Patches: You must trust that wicked
, said she, ‘whom I always disliked, and
‘Aye’, said I, ‘and now she has undone
me for ever; may her Perfidy to me meet with
a just Reward.’
Nature was so far spent in me
by my previous Trouble, that I sunk under
this new Addition, past all Hope of ever rising
more: I was some Weeks before I had the Use
of my Reason, but lay like a stupid Log, taking
what Sustenance they gave me, because I
knew not what I did. At last, by Degrees I
recovered my Senses, but was infinitely less
happy than when I had none, because I was
then free from Reflection; my cruel Disquiet
of Mind made so great an Alteration in my
Face, that when I came to look at it, I could
not believe I was Altemira. After I had been
in this Condition four Months., I heard LordG3LoftyG3v68
was returned from London; I immediately
writ to him in the most supplicating
Terms, but he would not vouchsafe me a Answer;
I writ again, and he sent it back unopened.
I had once a Mind to go to him, but
I thought his Behaviour to myself would be of
a Piece with that of my Letters, and I should
only expose myself to his Servants, and pick
up new matter for fresh Grief: But I soon
found why I was used with so much Contempt,
and heard he made his Addresses to the Rich,
Young, Beauteous Amoranda. I own, Madam,
your Person and Fortune have an infinite Advantage
over mine; but a Man, who is resolved
to be a Libertine, has no true Value for a
Woman’s good Qualities; the best she can
shew to please him, is to give into all his brutal
Pleasures: And as I was sure you would
shun such a Lover, I own I did write a Line
to let you into the Temper of the Man. But
now, Madam, since I have told you my Wrongs,
I hope I have engaged your Justice, Goodness
and Pity; and you will no longer encourage his
Addresses, but look upon them with the same
Contempt as from a married Man.”
said Amoranda, “your Case I own is very deplorable,
and what would give me a sensible
Affliction, were it not in my Power to do you
some Service; but I believe I can make you
a very acceptable Present, and will contrive a
Way of serving you besides.”
At those Words Amo- G4r 69
Amoranda left Altemira, and returned with the
Box and Bond; “This, Madam”, said she, “is,
I presume, the Loss you have so much lamented;
and I do assure you, Lord Lofty has not
been at London since his Injuries to you, but
at a Seat he has just by this House, and there
he is now: That Box I have now given you, he
accidentally dropt in the Garden, nor does he
know I have it; and till I see you as firmly his,
as he has promised you should be, I will never
leave contriving.”

The Sight of Lord Lofty’s Bond gave poor
Altemira a Satisfaction not to be expressed;
the Blood which had so long forsook her
Cheeks, began to run again in its wonted Channels,
and Joy diffused itself in every Feature
of her Face: “Is it possible”, said she, “that I am
so happy as to recover this Testimony of his
Villainy! It is some little Satisfaction for my
lost Honour, that I have this small Justification
of myself.”
“It is a very great one to me”, said
Amoranda, “that I can contribute towards it;
and if I can but gain one Point I have in my
Head, I hope I shall see you perfectly easy;
but I have an old Gentleman in the House,
who must be let into the Secret, or nothing
can be done.”

“Madam”, said Altemira, “my Secrets are too
well known to the World; engage who you
will in the Secret, but spare me the Confusion
of hearing it.”
“Then”, said Amoranda, “I will leave G4v 70
leave you employed, while I go to my Guardian,
and desire you will write a Letter to Lord
, to let him know you have recovered the
Bond and Contract, which your perfidious Servant
returned to him, and that you expect all
the Satisfaction the Law can give you; then
leave the rest to me.”
Here she left Altemira,
and sent Jenny with Pen and Ink to her, while
she told Formator the whole Story; he needed
no Addition to Lord Lofty’s Character, to
confirm him it was a very bad one; however,
his Indignation was ready to boil over, and he
expressed himself, as every Man of Honour
would do upon such an Occasion. “Formator”,
said Amoranda, “I have this poor Creature’s
Wrongs so much at Heart, that I shall never
rest till I recover her Quiet; but you must
give me leave; because I have promised never
to see Lord Lofty more, unless I have your
Consent for it; and without seeing him nothing
can be done.”

“Madam”, said Formator, “I applaud your just
and generous Design, and am so far from desiring
to hinder it, that I will be your Assistant
to the utmost of my Power.”
“Then”, said
Amoranda, “give me leave to send for my Lord
this Minute, and do you abscond.”
consented to her Proposal; and she writ the
following Lines to my Lord, and sent them
by a Footman just then.

My G5r 71 “My Lord, I do not want Inclination to meet you where
you desired at Night; but my Argus, as you
have some time called him, is gone abroad for this
Night, so that we may have an Interview within
doors. You know the Hand so well, that this Paper
needs no other Subscription, but that I am Yours.”

As soon as she had dispatched this Letter,
she went to see how Altemira went on with hers,
and found she had just finished it. “I am beforehand
with you”
, said Amoranda, “for I have writ
to my Lord since I saw you, and sent it. It
is an Invitation to a Man I now hate, and if I
can but gain my Ends upon him—Come, let
me see what you have writ.”
She took the Letter
from her trembling Hand, and read

“If Prayers and Tears could mollify an unrelenting
obdurate Heart, yours had long ago been
softened into Justice and Pity; but as they have
failed me so often, I think it needless to try them
any more. To tell you, my Lord, of Heaven and
Conscience, would only serve to make you Sport;
but methinks, you should have some little Regard
to your bleeding Honour, which lies stabb’d and
mangled in a thousand Places, by your own
However, my Lord, I am now to tell you, a
fortunate Hit has put you into my Power; and
the Contract you gave me, and corrupted my Servantvant G5v 72
to steal from me, is once more fallen into my
Hands. I dare say, you will easily believe I intend
to carry it as far as the Law will bear, but am
still forced to wish you would do a voluntary Piece
of Justice to,
Your Injured Altemira.”

This Letter was sealed, and directed for
Lord Lofty; and the Summons Amoranda had
sent him soon brought him to receive her Commands.
In the mean time, neither Altemira
nor Formator knew any thing of her Design;
but as she hoped it would be attended with
good Success, she was resolved to have the
Merit of it wholly to herself.

Altemira’s Letter she gave to one of her
Footmen, with an Order to bring it in when
she called for Tea; and to say, if any Questions
were asked, a Man on Horseback enquired
for my Lord, desir’d that it might be delivered
to him, and rode away.

Amoranda desired Formator and Altemira to
go up into the Room over the Summer-house,
where Brown heard all Callid and Froth’s Contrivance,
and where they might hear what she
said to my Lord; for in the Summer-house she
intended to entertain him. They were no sooner
placed in their different Posts, than they
heard the Visiting-Knock, and my Lord enter’d,
and enquired for Amoranda, whom he
found in the Summer-house; he ran to her with eager G6r 73
eager Transport, and finding her alone,
thought Opportunity had join’d itself to his
Desires, and he had nothing to do but reap a
Crop he never intended to make a Title to.
“My dearest Amoranda”, said he, “how shall I return
this Favour? With what Joy did I receive
your obliging Letter! And with what Delight
am I come to die at your Feet?”
“My Lord”,
said Amoranda, “you seemed so very earnest in
your Letter for an Interview, I was resolved to
give you an Opportunity, and shall now be
glad to hear what you have to say.”
“To say,
my Angel!”
said he, “Can any Man want a
Theme, that has so glorious a Subject as Amoranda?
Come to my Arms my lovely Charmer,
and let me whisper out my very Soul
upon thy lovely Bosom.”
“Hold, my Lord”,
said she, “before you run into those violent
Raptures, let me know your Designs a little;
I confess you have often rallied a marry’d State,
but that I rather take to be a sort of a Compliance
to a debauched wicked Age, than any
real Inclination of your own; come my Lord,
confess you have a Mind to marry.”
“To tell
you Madam, I have a Mind to marry, is to tell
you, I have not a Mind to love you; why should
you desire to subject yourself to one, whom
you may for ever make your Slave? The very
Thoughts of being bound to love would
make me hate; and take it from me, as a very
great Truth, every Man breathing makes a G6v 74
a better Lover than a Husband.”
“Pray, my Lord”,
said she, “from whence do you prove your Assertion?
I must own, my Experience and Observations
are but young, and yet I know several
marry’d People who in all Appearance
love one another exceedingly well.”

“Yes Madam”, said he, “in all Appearance, I
grant you; but Appearances are often false.”

“Why then”, said Amoranda, “by the same Rule,
we may believe the love of one of you to your
Mistress, as forced and empty, as that of a
marry’d Man to his Wife; we have no way to
know either but by their Words and Actions,
and those that think contrary to both, we look
upon them with so much Contempt, that we
shun their Conversation, and think it a Fault
to be seen in their Company.”

“What a Pity it is”, said my Lord, so many
good things should be said upon so bad a Subject.”
“I wonder”, said Amoranda, “your Lordship
does not get the House of Lords to endeavour
to repeal the Law of Marriage?
Why should you Lawgivers impose upon other
People what you think improper to follow
“Oh! Madam”, said the Peer, “there
are politick Reasons for what we do; but if
ever you would oblige me in any thing, let us
have no more of Marriage.”
“Why really my
, said Amoranda, “I am not yet at my last
Prayers, so that I hope, you will not think
Despair has any Hand in what I have said; and H1r 75
and to divert the Discourse, we will have a
Dish of Tea.”
Here she rung a Bell, and called
for the Tea-Table, which was immediately
brought, and followed by a Servant with a
Letter for Lord Lofty; who no sooner cast an
Eye upon the Superscription, than he knew the
Hand to be Altemira’s. The Effects of a conscious
Guilt immediately seized the whole Man,
his Tongue faultered, his Cheeks glow’d, his
Hand trembled, and his Eyes darted a wild
Horror; when striving to recover himself, he
put the Letter into his Pocket, and with a forced
Smile said, “a Man had better have a Wife
itself than a troublesome Mistress.”
“Nay, my
, said Amoranda, “if that Letter be from a
Mistress I am sure you are impatient to read
it, I will readily dispence with all Ceremony,
and beg you will do so.”
“Madam”, said he, “the
foolish Girl from whom this comes, I own, I
once had an Intrigue with, but—I don’t know
how it was, she had a better Knack at getting
a Heart than keeping it; besides, she gave
me such a consumed deal of Trouble, that I
was almost weary of her before I had her. No
my Charmer”
, said he, “Amoranda, and only Amoranda
commands my Heart; I own no Mistress
but her, nor will I ever wear any other
Fetters than those she puts me on.”
“Now do I
most stedfastly believe”
, said she, “that you have
said as much a thousand Times to the very
Lady whose Letter you have in your Pocket: H Come H1v 76
Come, my Lord”
, said she, “either read it while
I am by, or I will go away to give you an Opportunity.”

“Madam”, said he, “rather than lose one Minute
of your Company, I will do Penance for
three or four; but be assured, I intended to
have return’d it unopen’d, as I have done several
from the same Hand, but to oblige you
I’ll read it.”
While he was doing so, Amoranda
watch’d his Looks, and found a fresh Alteration
in his Face at every Line he read; but
when he came to that Part which told him, Altemira
had recovered his Contract, he turned
pale as Death, stamp’d and cry’d—“Zouns”
“Bless me”, said Amoranda, “What is the Matter
my Lord? Is the Lady not well?”
My Lord,
after he had paused a while said, he was mistaken
in the Hand, that Letter came from his
Steward, with an Account of a very considerable
Loss he had.

“Pugh!” said Amoranda, “Is that all? You
know, my Lord there are Misfortunes in all
Families, as Sir Roger de Coverly says; come,
come my Lord, drink a dish of Tea, and wash
away Sorrow.”
My Lord sate very moody for
some time, considering that since Altemira had
recovered his Bond and Contract she would, if
only to revenge his ill Usage of her, be very
troublesome, and again he thought, if once
the World should come to see them, every body
would say, he was a Villain if he did not marry H2r 77
marry her. He therefore resolved to put a Stop
to her Expectations, by marrying Amoranda,
and then she would be glad to come to his
Terms, and for her own Credit smother the
Matter. This was just as Amoranda expected,
and hoped for; she wisely imagined, that if
my Lord once saw himself under a sort of Necessity
of Marrying, he would be for chusing
the least Evil, as he thought all Wives were,
and rather marry a Woman he had not enjoy’d
with as fine an Estate as he could expect, than
take one with an inferior Fortune, and of whom
he could expect no more than what he had had
already. Amoranda saw the Struggles of his
Soul in his Looks, how unwilling he was to
come to a Resolution so much against his Inclinations;
but he had just promised her he would
wear no Fetters but what she put him on, and
she was as firmly resolved to fit him with a

“My Lord”, said Amoranda, “your Tea will be
cold; I wish I were worthy to know what
weighty Affair employs your Thoughts?”

“A weighty Affair indeed Madam”, said he,
“for I am now bringing myself to a Resolution
of doing what I have often thought no Woman
upon Earth could have had the Power of persuading
me to; but your Charms have dissolved
every Design, and I now offer you a Heart
for Life.”
“My Lord”, said Amoranda, “a Man of
your Estate and Quality leaves a Woman no H2 Room H2v 78
Room for Objection; but if I should comply
too soon, you will think I am too cheaply won,
and value me accordingly.”
“Madam”, said he,
“I am one of those who hate Trouble, and the
less you give me, infinitely the more you will
engage me to you: Come my Amoranda”
, said
he, “your old crabbed Guardian is now from
home, and there is no Time like that present; I
will send just now for my Chaplain, and we will
do in half an Hour what I hope we shal!l never
repent of.”
“But my Lord”, said she, “the canonical
Hour is past, and you have no Licence.”

“The canonical Hours, Madam”, said he, “are betwixt
Eight and Twelve, and not a Farthing
matter whether Morning or Night; and for a
Licence, I will step home myself, and take Care
of one.”
My Lord just remember’d he had one
by him, which he had purchased to bamboozle
poor Altemira, and since he was in such Haste,
it was no more than scratching out one Name,
and interlining another; whipt into his Coach,
bid his Coachman be at home in half an Hour,
and told the Lady, in another he would be back.
Amoranda called down her two Prisoners, who
had been within hearing all this while, and leaving
them in the Summer-house, she ran in, called
for a Pen and Ink, and wrote thus to my Lord:

“I am, my Lord, in such Confusion, I have
hardly Time to Write to you: Formator
is just come home; I know he hates you, and will H3r 79
will certainly prevent our Designs, till he has
Wrote to my Uncle. I therefore desire you will,
with your Chaplain, come, as you once proposed,
into the Grove your own Way; and when it is
dark I will come to you: I doubt not but your
Chaplain has the Matrimony by Heart; if not,
pray let him con his Lesson before he comes,
Yours, in great Haste, Amoranda.”

When she had sent this Letter Whip and Spur
after my Lord, she returned to the Summer-
house, and desired Altemira to come in, and
dress her in the same Gown she had on; for
though it was now past Nine o’Clock, it was
light enough to distinguish Colours. As soon
as they had got ready they went to the Grove,
and Amoranda placed Altemira just where my
Lord was to enter, and bid her whisper, under
Pretence of Formator’s being in the Garden,
as well to disguise her Voice, as to pronounce
her own Name without being fairly heard; “and
when you are marryed”
, said Amoranda, “tell my
Lord, you will go in and go to Supper, and as
soon as you can conveniently get to Bed,
send Jenny to conduct him to you.”
She here
told them, she had writ to retard his Return
till it was dark; “and now Altemira”, said she, “I
hope you are near that Happiness you have so
long wish’d for; I think I hear the Coach. Formator”
(who was all this While with them) “and
I, will place Ourselves where we shall hear you,
if you speak ever so low; but you shall see H3 no H3v 80
no more of us till my Lord is in Bed with you,
and then we will come in, and wish you Joy.”

As soon as Amoranda had done speaking, my
Lord came, and found Altemira ready, whom
he took for Amoranda; the Chaplain soon did
the Work, and made them One, to the unspeakable
Joy of the Bride. She observed all
Amoranda’s Orders, and whispering told him,
she would go in, and send Jenny for him as soon
as she had an Opportunity. My Lord sent away
his Coach and Chaplain, and waited with
the greatest Impatience for Jenny, who came after
some time, and conveyed him in the dark
to Altemira. As soon as my Lord was gone out
of the Grove, Formator and Amoranda came out
too, who durst not stir till he was gone, for fear
of being heard; when they thought he was in
Bed, they went into the Chamber with each of
them a Light in their Hand, to wish the Bride
and Bridegroom Joy. Formator went in first;
and when my Lord saw him, he thought he
was come to take away his Spouse, and cried
out, “Be gone Sir, she is my Wife.” “Fear not
my Lord”
(said Amoranda, behind) “nobody shall
disturb you, only we are come to wish you
“How! Madam”, said my Lord, (when he
saw and heard Amoranda) “Are you there? To
whom have you disposed of me? To your Chamber-Maid!”
“No my Lord”, said Amoranda; “I scorn
so base an Action, but I have given you to one
who has the best Right to you; come Altemira”
said she, sit up, and let us throw the Stocking; besides, H4r 81
besides, your are both gone Supperless to Bed,
and I have a Sack-Posset coming up-stairs.”

When my Lord had look’d sufficiently round,
and saw how Matters went, he found it was
a Folly to complain, and was resolved to turn
the Scale, and shew himself a Man of Honour
at last; in Order to which, he turned to Altemira,
and said, “Can you forget the Injuries
I have done you, Madam?”
“My Lord”, said Amoranda,
“I dare answer for Altemira’s Pardon;
but who must answer for Yours?”
“Madam”, said
my Lord, “I am at Age, and will answer for
myself, and do, upon Honour, declare, I am
pleased with what you have done: There is
certainly a secret Pleasure in doing Justice, tho’
we often evade it, and a secret Horror in doing
Ill, though we often comply with the Temptation:
I own, my Design was to wrong this
innocent Lady, but I had an inward Remorse
for what I was about; and I would not part
with the present Quiet and Satisfaction that fills
my Breast, to be Lord of the whole Creation.”

“How great a Truth is it”, said Formator, “that
Virtue is its own Reward; and who that
knows the Pleasure of a good Action, would
ever torment himself with doing an ill one? My
, said he, “this happy Turn of Temper has
made you a Friend, which you may one Day
think worth your Notice: And now, Madam”
said he to Amoranda, “let us leave the Happy
Pair, and Altemira to tell her Lord every Incidentcident H4v 82
that help’d to bring her wretched Circumstances
to such a joyful Conclusion.”

The next Morning my Lord sent for his
whole Equipage, and carry’d his Lady home
as became his Wife. Formator and Amoranda
accompanied them to the House where my
Lord had first decoyed his Altemira; and as
they went by called at Cook’s, who was soon
informed of all the good Fortune that attended
her young Lady, and told her, she had a
Letter for her from her Brother, which she
gave her. Amoranda told her Ladyship, There
was no-body in Company but who knew the
Story of her Brother; and desired she would
read it, which she did thus:

“‘If I burnt in an unlawful Flame for my dearest
Sister, I have quenched it with my Blood;
I no sooner miss’d you, than Ten Thousand Torments
seized my guilty Mind; I sent three Days
in search of you, but every Messenger return’d
without any News: I feared the Worst, and fell
into the highest Despair. What have I done! said
I, ruined an only Sister, left to my Care, who is
now, if alive, destitute, and a Wanderer, and all
this by an unlawful Love! Those Thoughts distracted
me so, that I took up a Sword which lay
by me, and struck it into my Breast; my Wound
proved not mortal, and a few Days brought me an
healing Balsam, for I was told where you were:
I was resolved to drive out one Extream by another,ther, H5r 83
and see you no more, till I had tried my
Success on a Lady superior in every Charm to
her whole Sex; she listened to my Love, and I pursued
it till I made the Fair One mine. And if Altemira
will but forgive what is past, I may call
myself the happiest Man in the World. You will,
doubtless, be desirous to know my Choice; and to
let you see I have not lessend my Family by it,
know the Lady is Sister to Lord Lofty, who lives
so near Cook, that you must have heard of him,
I hope you will now return to the Arms of
Your Repenting, Happy Brother.’”

Here was a new Occasion of Joy for Lady
, and my Lord was very well satisfied:
They went all together to his House, and spent
a few Days with them, till Col. Charge ’em came
from London to visit his Lordship, who no sooner
saw Amoranda than he began to attack; nor
she him than she began to parly: Which when
Formator saw (whose Eyes were always open to
Amoranda’s Actions) he told her, If she pleased
they would go home in the Morning. She
consented, because she thought it in vain to
deny; otherwise she had no Dislike to a Feather,
nor did she think a lac’d Coat a disagreeable
Dress, and she could have dispenced with
a little more of the Man of War’s Company;
but her trusty Guardian put a Stop to all farther
Commerce betwixt them, by ordering the
Coach to be ready early in the Morning, so
that they were almost half-way home before the H5v 84
the Colonel was up, who very probably would
have been for waiting on the young Lady home.
Lady Lofty and Amoranda, after a mutual Promise
of an everlasting Friendship, parted with
much Unwillingness, but with a Design to see
one another often. As they were going home
their Way lay between two steep Hills, where
they met a Couple of Men masqued. Amoranda
was exceedingly frighted, and said, she was
sure they should be robb’d; but Formator bid
her have a good Heart, and called to the Coachman
to stop. He got out of the Coach, and
taking a Pistol from one of the Footmen, stood
at the Coach Door on one Side, while two of
the Servants, by his Order, did the same at the
other, and waited till the two Masques came to
them. But they soon found Money was not
their Errand, it was the Lady they wanted,
who had no other Guard than Formator, her
Coachman, and two Footmen. One of them
rid up, and shot the poor Coachman, who fell
off the Coach-Box wounded, but not dead;
the same resolute Rogue rode up to the two
Footmen on one Side of the Coach, while the
other engaged Formator, who hid his Pistol
till he had his Enemy pretty near him, and then
let fly a Brace of Bullets at him, which kindly
saluted his Brain, and down he dropt. The
other, who had beat back the Footman, seeing
Formator an old Man, rid round to dispatch
him, and then get into the Coach-Box, and away H6r 85
away with the Lady; but he found the old
Man pretty tough, for before the Servants
could come to him, who were both disarm’d,
he had clos’d with the Rogue, wrenched an
empty Pistol out of his Hand, which he had discharged
at one of the Servants, but missed
him, and with it knock’d him down; he was
only stunn’d with the Blow, but Formator stay’d
not for his Recovery; he ordered the two Footmen
to get the wounded Coachman into the
Coach, and one of them to get into the Coach-
Box, and drive home with all Speed. Amoranda,
when the Coachman was shot, fell into a
Swoon, and continued in it till Formator got
into the Coach; he laid her Head in his Bosom,
and chafed her Temples till she recover’d. Her
Reason no sooner returned, than she enquired
after his Safety. “Do you live, Formator”, said
she, “and have you no Wounds?” “No my lovely
, said he, transported beyond himself
that he had her safe, “I have no Wounds but
what the Fear of losing you gave me; the
dreadful Apprehension of such a Misfortune
stabb’d me in a thousand Places.”
“Well”, said
she, “I am glad you are not hurt, but I wish we
were at home.”

“That, Madam”, said he, “we shall be presently;
we have not above three Miles to your
own House.”
As soon as they got home a Surgeon
was sent for to dress the Coachman’s
Wounds, who was shot through the Arm; and
Amoranda was some Days before she recover’d her H6v 86
her Fright. Three Weeks were now past since
she left Lord Lofty’s, in which time, Formator
had by a daily Application, endeavoured to
form Amoranda’s Mind to his own Liking; he
tried to bring her to a true Taste of that Behaviour,
which makes every Woman agreeable
to every Man of Sense. “A Man”, said he,
“of true Judgment and good Understanding
has the greatest Contempt in the World for one
of those Creatures we commonly call a Coquet;
Levity and a light Carriage is so very despicable
in a Woman, that it is not possible for
the rest of her Qualities, though ever so good,
to attone for them; how much more does it
raise a young Lady’s Character, to have one
Man of Sense vindicate her Conduct, than to
hear a thousand Coxcombs cry――‘Gad, she
is a fine Woman, she is a Woman of Fire and
The Commendations of such Men,
, said he, “are like the Compliment of
a Dog just come out of the Dirt, while he fawns
upon you, he defiles your Clothes. Nature,
when it formed you, shew’d its greatest Skill,
and sent you into the World so very compleat,
that even Envy itself cannot charge you with
one single Blemish; your beauteous Form is
all Angelick, and your Understanding no way
inferior to it; a Temper mild and easy, and a
Fortune great enough to satisfy the Avarice of
the greatest Miser; And why, lovely Amoranda,
must all these fine Accomplishments be eclips’d I1r 87
eclips’d by that Foible of your Sex, Vanity?
Why have you such a greedy Thirst after that
Praise, which every Man that has his Eyes and
Ears must give you of course? For Heaven’s
Sake dear Madam”
, said he, “disguise at least the
Pleasure you take in it, and receive it with a
modest, careless Indifference: A Man who
once sees a Woman pleased with Flattery has
gain’d more than half his Point, and can never
despair of Success while he has so good, so
powerful an Advocate about the Heart he aims
“Formator”, said Amoranda, “Were you never
flattered when you were a young Man? I
fancy you don’t know the Pleasure of it; but
I am resolved I will never think it a Pleasure
again, because you dislike it in me; for it must
be a disagreeable Quality, or you would never
argue so strenuously against it. Nay, and
there is another thing which will make me
leave it, and that is—Hush”
, said she, “I hear
a Coach stop at the Door, let us go and
see who is come.”
She ran into the Entry,
and was most agreeably surprised, to see two
young Ladies alighting, one of whom was a
particular Favourite, and had been her Companion
when a Child; the other young Lady
was a perfect Stranger, but she came with Amoranda’s
Friend, and for that Reason was equally
welcome: They came in a little before
Supper, and Amoranda was exceedingly pleased
she had got a Female Companion or two. I When I1v 88
When they were at Supper, and saw Formator
sit at Table; Arentia, for that was the young
Lady’s Name, ask’d, If he was a Relation of
Amoranda’s? She said he was better than a Relation,
he was a Friend, and One to whose
Care her Uncle had committed her. As soon
as Supper was over Formator left the Ladies
to themselves; and he was no sooner gone than
Arentia ask’d how long he had been in the Family;
Amoranda said about six Months: “He
, said she, “a very good sort of an old Man,
if he were not so very wise; but the Truth is,
we foolish Girls are not to be trusted with Ourselves,
and he has taught me to believe we are
the worst Guardians we can possibly have.”
said the strange Lady, whom we must call
Berintha, “if we young People give into all the
Whims of the Old, we shall be so too before
we have lived out half our Days; I hope Madam,
we shall not have much of his Company,
for of all Things I hate an old Man.”
said Amoranda, “you will like him better when
you are acquainted with him, and will find
him a very agreeable Companion; for all his
Age, Formator has a Sprightliness in his Conversation,
which Men of younger Years might
be proud of.”
This Encomium of Amoranda’s
rais’d a Blush in Berintha’s Cheeks, which she
took Notice of, and laughing said, “If you had
not just now Madam declared your Aversion
to old Men, I should be half afraid you had
a Mind to rob me of my Guardian.”
After some I2r 89
some Discourse it grew late, and Amoranda ask’d
the Ladies, If they would lie together, or have seperate
Beds? Berintha said she always lay alone,
which accordingly she did. Next Morning, after
Breakfast, Amoranda took them into the Garden,
and there entertain’d them with the Story of
Froth and Callid’s Contrivance, with every thing
else which she thought would divert them; but
while they were in the Midst of Mirth and Gaiety
Formator came into the Dining-Room, and with
discomposed Looks, walked a few Turns about
it, saying to himself, “From whence proceeds
this strange Uneasiness? Why is my Heart and
Spirits in such an Agitation? I never was superstitious,
and yet I cannot forbear thinking
Amoranda in some new Danger; there must
be something in it, and Heaven, in Pity to her,
gives me Warning:”
Then after a little Pause
“I’ll take it”, said he, “and watch the lovely
Charmer: I know not why, but methinks I
tremble at the Thoughts of those two Women,
and fancy I see her more exposed to Ruin now
than when she was surrrounded with Fools and
Saying thus, he went into the Garden,
and walked at a Distance from the Ladies, but
kept his Eye upon them; he perceived the new-
come Berintha close to Amoranda, one Hand
lock’d in hers, and t’other round her Waist:
This Sight increased his Doubt, and raised
his Indignation. At Dinner he watched her
Looks, and found her Eyes almost continually I2 upon I2v 90
upon Amoranda; the Sight was Death to him, his
Soul was rack’d and tortured, and while he flung
dissatisfy’d Looks at Berintha, she darted hostile
Glances at him; his Suspicions grew every Day
stronger, yet was he in such a State of Uncertainty,
that he thought it not convenient to say any
thing to Amoranda, till one Morning she came
down before the two Ladies were stiring, and saw
Formator walking in the Hall. She was glad of so
good an Opportunity, for she had for several Days
taken Notice of an unusual Melancholy in his
Looks. “Formator” said she, “What is the Matter with
you? What new Troubles have taken Possession of
your Breast? I see a Cloud upon your Brow, and
cannot be easy till I know the Occasion of it.”

“Madam”, said he, “the Source of my Trouble
proceeds from the real Concern I have for your
Welfare, which I have so much at Heart, that
the least Appearance of Danger gives it a fresh
Alarm. I confess myself extreamly uneasy, but
fear you will think me a very whimsical old
Fellow, if I tell you, I suspect Berintha’s Sex,
and cannot but fancy she is a Man.”

“I shall always”, said Amoranda, “acknowledge
myself obliged to you for your great Care and
Caution, but beg, my good Formator, that you
will not carry it too far: What in the Name
of Wonder could put such a Thought into
your Head?”

“Madam”, said he, “Observation puts a great
many Things in our Heads; you may please to I3r 91
to remember, first, she would lie alone.”
said Amoranda, “that is what I love myself, and
so may Ten Thousand more.”
“True Madam”,
said he, “and had my Reasons stopped there that
would have dropped of course; but why so many
kind Glances? so many rapturous Embraces?
such loving Squeezes by the Hand, and eager
Desire to please you? Eyes ready to run over
with Pleasure at every word you speak? Are
these the common Marks of Respect betwixt
one Lady and another?”

“Consider, Madam, you have Youth, Beauty,
Sense, and Fortune enough to bring our Sex
to you in as many Shapes as ever Jove himself
assumed, and we are always soonest surprised,
when we are least apprehensive of Danger.”

“Formator”, said she, “every thing you say pleases
me, because I know it comes from an honest
Heart; but you are too full of Fears, and
your Zeal and Care for my Safety makes you
look at Things in a false Light, I cannot give
into your Opinion, for several Reasons; first,
I think it highly improbable, a Person of Berintha’s
Sense should undertake so ridiculous
a Project; next, I can never believe Arentia,
who must be privy to it, would be so base as to
betray me: No, no, Formator”
, said she, “there
can be nothing in it, and I beg you will lay by
your Fears.”
Saying thus, she left him, and
went away to the Ladies, who, she heard,
were both up. Berintha met her with an Air
of Gallantry, and led her a Minute; then catchingI3 ing I3v 92
her in her Arms, kiss’d her with some Eagerness.
“Hold, Berintha”, said Amoranda, “Kisses
from our own Sex and other Women’s Husbands
are the most insipid Things in Nature;
I had rather see you dance, I fancy you do it
very well, but can’t be so good a judge while I
dance with you myself; you will oblige me, if
you take a Turn or two about the Room.”
she proposed on purpose to mind her Step, which
she found somewhat masculine, and began to
fear Formator was in the right. “Good Heaven”,
said she to herself, “can this be true? Is it possible
Arentia can be so treacherous? Is there no
Justice, no Honour, no Friendship to be depended
on in this vile World? Methinks I could almost
hate it, and every Thing in it, unless honest
While she was thus musing, Berintha
ran to her, and taking her again in her Arms,
said, “My dear Amoranda, What are you thinking
Her dear Amoranda, began now to disrelish
her Embraces, and breaking from her a little
abruptly said, “Madam, I was thinking of Treachery,
Falshood, broken Friendship, and a Thousand
other Things, which this bad World can
furnish us with.”
This Answer made both the
Ladies colour, and they looked at one another
with the utmost Confusion; which Amoranda
took Notice of, and applying herself to Arentia
said, “Why Madam do you blush? Your
Youth and Innocence are doubtless Strangers
to all those black Things I accidentally named.”
Arentia I4r 93
Arentia, willing to extricate herself from her
Confusion, said it was a Vapour. “Oh!” said Amoranda,
“Is that all? then here is my Bottle of
Salts for you; and yours, Madam”
, said she to
Berintha, “is a Vapour too I presume; I will
call for another for you, since your Distemper
is the same, your Cure ought to be so too.
But come Ladies”
(said she, being resolved to try
them a little farther) “I will divert your Spleen
with a Sight I have not yet shewn you.”
then led them up two Pair of Stairs, where
there was a large old-fashion’d wrought Bed.
“This Bed, Ladies”, said she, “was the Work of
my Grandmother, and I dare say you will believe
there was no Want of either Time or Stuff
when it was made.”
“No”, said Arentia, “they
had doubtless Plenty of both, or it had never
got to such a Size; I don’t believe it wants
much of the great Bed of Ware.”
said Amoranda, “they should bring up this Fashion
again, now that Men and their Wives
keep so great a Distance, they might lie in
such a One with so much Good-manners. I
dare say”
, continued she, “we Three might lie in
it, and never touch one another. What think
ye Ladies; shall we try To-night?”
“No”, said
Berintha, “for my part, I never loved one Bed-
fellow, much less two; besides, I never sleep
well in a strange Bed.”
The Proposal however
took off some Apprehensions from the two
Ladies, but confirmed the third in her Fears.

Madam, I4v 94

“Madam”, said Arentia, “I ventured to promise
my Friend here, before we came from home,
a great deal of Pleasure upon your fine River;
here is a cool Day, and if it be consistent with
your Inclination, we will take a Turn upon the
Water this Afternoon, for To-morrow we must
think of going home.”
Amoranda was not sorry
to hear that, but told them she could not
answer them of a sudden; for she knew they
did not care to have Formator’s Company, and
whether he would consent she should go without
him she knew not.

“I confess to you, Madam”, said Berintha, “I had
much rather want the Pleasure of the Water,
than have the Plague of the Man; but hope
you will prevail with him to stay at home, and
let us go without him.”
“Come, Madam”, said
Arentia, “it is our last Request, gratify us in
this small Matter, and compleat the Favours
we have already received.”
“Well, Ladies”, said
Amoranda, “if you will excuse the Rudeness of
leaving you a Minute, I will go and try my
Guardian’s Good-nature.”
She conducted the
Ladies down again, and went to Formator. “I
am come”
, said she, “to tell you something,
which will I dare say be very grateful to your
Ears; my two Ladies talk of going home
To-morrow, but they have a great Mind to
take a little Recreation this Afternoon in the
Barge, and I desire your Opinion of the Matter.”
“Madam”, said he, “I am strangely surprised at I5r 95
at your having an Inclination to go Abroad
with a Person you are utterly a Stranger to;
you know, the Water for some Miles runs by
nothing on one Side but Woods and Desarts,
and has on the other but one small Town; suppose
there should be a Trap laid for you, and
you should fall into it, what Account can I give
your Uncle, either of your safety, or my own
“I am sure”, Formator, said she, “you do
not think so indifferently of me, as to believe
I have a Mind to be trapan’d, or that I would
not carefully avoid all Danger; but I cannot
see how it is possible for me to be in any at this
Time, because I shall have all my own Servants
about me, and if a Hundred Baits were
laid, they could not reach me unless I were to
land; which I faithfully promise you I will not
do: And supposing the very worst you fear
to be true, and Berintha should prove a Man,
he is neither a Devil nor a Monster to devour
all before him; I wish you were to go with us
“No, Madam”, said he, “I perceive myself
a perfect Bugbear to them both, and would
not make your Company uneasy: May Heaven
have you always under its kind Protection;
I shall be transported a Night, when I see you
safe home again.”
“Fear not”, Formator, said she,
“that Providence which knows my innocent Intentions
will I hope conduct me back again.”

Here she left Formator, and went to order the
Barge to be got ready, and then returned to the I5v 96
the Ladies. “Well”, said she, “I have order’d all
Things for our long Voyage, and as soon as
we have dined we will embark.”
“Nay”, said Berintha,
“let us take a Bit of any Thing along
with us, and not stay for Dinner, we shall not
have half Pleasure enough before Night else.”

Amoranda willing to gratify them, this Once
sent fresh Orders to the Barge-men, who were
ready in half an Hour; and when Jenny, by
her Lady’s Command, had laid in Wine and
cold Viands, they sailed down the Water with
a pleasant Gale. The three Ladies were set
at one End of the Barge, and Amoranda’s Servants,
six in Number, at the other; she herself
was sate between Berintha and Arentia; when
Arentia thus began, “Madam”, said she, “Fortune
did me an early Piece of Service, in making
me your Acquaintance when I was yet but
a Child; I have ever since done my Endeavour
to keep up Amity and a good Understanding
betwixt us, and it shall be wholly your Fault
if ever there be a Breach in our Friendship;
but Madam, our Time is short, and there is
a Story ripe for your Ear, which I must beg
you will listen to, and hope you will contribute
so much to your own Happiness, as to
comply with the Proposals we are about to
make to you; it is neither my Cousin’s Inclination
nor mine to use Force, but something
must be resolved upon in a very short Space:
Nay, Madam”
, continued she, “don’t look surpris’d,pris’d, I6r 97
what I say is Fact, and so you’ll find it.”

Amoranda gave a scornful Smile at what Arentia
said, and ask’d her, if she thought her a Woman
of so little Courage, as to be bullied into any
Compliance in the Midst of her own Servants.
“No Madam”, said Berintha, “Arentia has gone
a little too far, give me leave to tell the ungrateful
Tale, for so I fear it will prove.”
“Why then”
said Amoranda, “do you tell it; Fault committed
by Chance or Mistake ought to be forgiven,
but a wilful one we cannot so easily overlook.”
The poor Lady began now to wish
she had taken Formator’s Advice, and had
staid at home, for she saw nothing, either on
her right-hand or left, but a resolute Arrogance
in both their Countenances; however,
they kept within the Bounds of Civility, and
Arentia once more began: “Know, Madam”, said
she, “I am not going to tell you any thing but
what you might be very well pleased to hear;
I have a near Relation, who is a Man of the
greatest Merit, a Man of Fortune and Honour,
he had the Misfortune, as I fear I may call it,
of seeing you once at the Bath, and though it
be more than a Twelve-month since, he still
struggles with a Passion that will master him,
in spite of all Opposition: Oh! turn to your
left Shoulder Amoranda and behold the Wretch.”

Amoranda, who guessed where it would end
look’d very serene and unsurprised, saying, “Arentia,
if your Friend Berintha be a Man of Fortune I6v 98
Fortune and Honour, as you say he is, why has
he used clandestine Means to get into my Company?
Do you think, Sir”
, said she, turning to
him, “I am so fond of my own Sex, that I can
like nothing but what appears in Petticoats?
Had you come like a Gentleman, as such I
would have received you; but a disguised Lover
is always conscious of some Demerit, and
dares not trust to his right Form, till by a false
Appearance he tries the Lady; if he finds her
weak and yielding the Day is his own, and he
goes off in Triumph; but if she has Courage
to baffle the Fool, he sneakes away with his Disappointment,
and thinks no-body will know
any thing of the Matter.”
Biranthus, for that
was his true Nature, was stung to the very Soul
to hear Amoranda so smart upon him: but was
yet resolved to disguise his Mind as well as his
Body, and said, “You are very severe, Madam,
upon a Slave who dies for you; but if I have
done foolishly in this Action, Arentia should
answer for it, the Frolick was her’s, and it was
designed for nothing else: But Madam”
, said
he, “Time flies away, and every Minute is precious
to a Man whose Life lies at Stake; it is
now Time to know my Doom, shall I live
or die?”
“Believe me, Sir”, said Amoranda, “it is
perfectly indifferent to me which you do; and
if nothing will save your Life but my Ruin,
you will not find me very ready to preserve it
at so dear a Price.”
“If”, said Biranthus, “you give K1r 99
give me Cause to accuse you of Ill nature, you
half justify my Design upon you.”
“Pray”, said
Amoranda, “What is your Design?” “To force
a Compliance with my Wishes”
, said he, “if you
refuse a voluntary one.”
“How”, said Amoranda,
with a scornful Laugh, “Will you pretend
to Force, while I am in the Midst of my own

Biranthus now grown desperate, told her
she was too merry, and too secure; “for know,
, said he, “those Servants, of whom you
boast, are most of them my Creatures; the
Slaves have sold that Duty to me which they
owed to you, and therefore Compliance will
be your wisest Course.”
“Nay then”, said Amoranda,
“I am wretched indeed: Oh, Formator!”
“Formator”, said Biranthus, “is not so near
you now as he was when you were attacked
in your Coach some Weeks ago: I owe the
old Dog a Grudge for his Usage of me then,
and would have paid him now, but I had try’d
the Strength of his Arm, and found it too
powerful for me, otherwise you had had his
Company this once, in order to see him no
more; but you have taken your Leave of
him as it is.”
“And are you”, said Amoranda,
“one of the Villains that”—Here she fainted
away; Biranthus was glad of so good an Opportunity
of getting her ashore; and calling
some of the Men to his Assistance, they clapped
Pistols to the Breasts of the two Barge- K men, K1v 100
men, who were all Amoranda had on her Side,
and made them row to Land, just at the Side
of a great thick Wood. Biranthus and one
of the Men took Amoranda up betwixt them,
and carried her into it; which the Barge-men
seeing prepared to follow and bring her back,
but were prevented by the rest of the Rogues;
two of which they knock’d over-board with
their Oars, and the other they tied Neck and
Heels in the Barge, then went in Search of
the Lady: But Biranthus had carried her such
intricate Ways, and so far up in the Wood,
that the poor Barge-men thought there had
been Horses ready for them, and they had
carried her quite away; however, they were
resolved to stay till Night, in hopes of her
Return. In the mean time, the Devils that
carried her off, had conveyed her into the most
unfrequented Part of the Wood, and laid her
on the Grass to recover herself; but who can
express the Rage, Despair and Grief, which
appeared in her lovely Eyes, when they
opened to such a Scene of Sorrow, and she
saw herself in the full Power of a threatening
Ravisher, her own Servants aiding and assisting
him in the Midst of a wild Desert,
where nothing but Air and Beasts could receive
her Cries! “Oh, Amoranda!” said she,
“wretched Amoranda! what sullen Star had
Power when thou wert born? Why has Nature
denied us Strength to revenge our own Wrongs? K2r 101
Wrongs? And why does Heaven abandon
and forsake the Innocent? But, oh! it hears
not my Complaints.—Oh, Formator! did
you but know my Distress you would come
to my Relief, and once more chastise this odious,
impudent Ravisher. Oh wretched me!
what shall I do?”
Arentia, who had been a
long Time silent, and confounded at her own
Baseness, went to her and said, “Why Amoranda,
do you think yourself wretched? It is in
your own Power to be very happy, if you
will but harken to your Friends, and be”

“Peace, Screech-Owl”, said Amoranda, “thy Advice
carries Poison and Infection in it; the
very Sound of thy Words raises Blisters on me,
so venomous is the Air of thy Breath.”
, said Arentia, “we shall find a Way to
humble your Pride; and since you are resolved
to make your Friends your Enemies, take
the Reward of your Folly.”
Saying thus, she
went away, leaving Biranthus and her own
Man with her, to execute their abominable
Designs against her. When she was gone, the
hated Biranthus came to her, and said, “Madam,
if you will hear my Proposals, I am
now in a Humour to make you very good
ones, but if you refuse them, you may expect
the worst Usage that can fall to your Share,
and I shall please myself without any manner
of Regard to your Quality or Complaints. It
is true, my Estate is not a great one, but yours K2 joined K2v 102
joined to it will make it so; and you shall find
me in every thing such a Husband”
“As I”, said
she, “no doubt, shall soon have Reason to wish
hang’d; no, base Biranthus, if Providence
had designed me a Prey for such a Villain, I
should have fallen into your first Snare; but
I was delivered from you then, and so I shall
be again: Before I would consent to be a Wife
to such a Monster, I would tear out the Tongue
by the Roots, that was willing to pronounce
my Doom: I would suffer these Arms to be
extended on a Rack till every Sinew, every
Vein and Nerve should crack, rather than embrace,
or so much as touch, a Viper like thyself.”
“Then hear”, said he, “and tremble at thy
approaching Fate. This Minute, by the
Help of thy own Servant, I will enjoy thee;
and then, by the Assistance of my Arm, he
shall do so too.”
“Thou liest, false Traitor”, said
she, “Heaven will never suffer such Wickedness.”
Just as she spoke these last Words, they
heard a dreadful Shriek at a little Distance;
the Voice they knew to be Arentia’s, and Biranthus’s,
who had taken hold of Amoranda, let
her go again, and ran to find out his Partner
in Iniquity, who he saw just expiring of a Sting
from an Adder. He then cried out as loud
as she had done, when the other Rogue ran
to him, and left Amoranda to shift for herself.
She was no sooner rid of them, than she heard
the Sound of Horses pretty near her, and begangan K3r 103
to run towards them. “Good Heaven!”
said she, “has at last seen my Wrongs, heard
my Complaints, and pities my Distress.”
Horses were now within Sight of her, and she
saw a graceful, fine, well shaped Man upon
one of them, attended by two Servants; to
whom she thus apply’d herself: “Stranger”, said
she, “for such you are to me, though not to
Humanity, I hope; take a poor forsaken
Wretch into your kind Protection, and deliver
her from the rude Hands of a cruel Ravisher.”
The Stranger looking at her, said, “I
presume, Madam, you are some self-willed,
head-strong Lady, who, resolved to follow
your own Inventions, have left the Care of a
tender Father, to ramble with you know not
“Oh! Sir”, said she, some Part of your
Guess is true; but, Father I have none”
: “Nor
, said the Stranger, “nor Guardian?”
“Nor Mother”, said she, “but a Guardian, a good
one too, I have; and were I but once again
in his Possession, I would never leave him while
I live.”

“Well, Madam”, said the Gentleman, “I am
sorry for you, but am no Night-errant, nor
do I ride in Quest of Adventures; I wish you
a good Deliverance, and am your humble Servant.”
Saying thus, he and his Servants rode
away: Poor Amoranda followed them as fast
as she could, and still, with Prayers and Tears,
implored their Pity; but they were soon out K3 of K3v 104
of Sight, and the loathed Biranthus again
appeared coming in full Search after her, and
designing to drag her to Arentia’s Corps,
there to satisfy his beastly Appetite, and sacrifice
her to her Ghost. He found the poor
Forloorn half drowned in her own Tears, pulling
off her Hair, and wringing her lovely
Hands, calling “Formator! Oh Formator!
where are you?”
Biranthus rudely seized her
on one Side, and her own Man on the other,
and was dragging her along, when her shrill
Cries filled the Air, and reached the Ears of
the Gentleman who had just left her, and
now returning again. “Villain”, said he to Amoranda’s
Man, “unhand the two Ladies”: “Sir”,
said Biranthus, “there is no Harm designed
against her; but the Cause of this Lady’s Cries
proceed from her Concern for the Death of
her Sister, who is just now stung to Death by
an Adder.”

“Oh, gentle Stranger!” said Amoranda, “believe
him not; this very Creature, who has now
spoken to you, is a Man disguised, and is going
to murder me: Oh! as you hope for Happiness,
either here or hereafter, leave me not.”

“Sir”, said Biranthus, “her Trouble has distracted
her, do but ride forty Paces farther, and you
shall see the poor Lady lie dead.”
“Lead on
said the Stranger. When they came to
the Place where Arentia lay dead, the Gentleman
look’d at her, and shak’d his Head, saying,ing, K4r 105
“How does Vice as well as Virtue reward
itself! But, Madam”
, said he to Biranthus, “if
those two Ladies were Sisters, what Relation
are you to them?”
“None, none”, said Amoranda,
“I have already told you he is a Man, a Monster,
a Villain and a Murderer: This very Man,
, said she, set upon my Coach about a
Month ago, shot my Coachman, and would
have carried me away then, but I had my
Guardian with me, my Guardian Angel I may
call him, and he preserved me that time: The
Rogue, when he thought he had me sure, confessed
he was a Man, and therefore for Heaven’s
dear Sake take me from him, though
you throw me into the River when you have
“No, Madam”, said the Stranger, “you
look as if you deserved a better Fate than that:
said he to his Servants, “alight, and set
this Lady behind me”
; but Biranthus stepp’d
between, and pulling out a Pocket-Pistol discharged
it at the Stranger, but miss’d him,
which exasperated his Men so much, that one
of them ran him quite through the Body.
When Amoranda’s Man saw him fall, he ran
away as fast as he could, but was soon overtaken
and brought back. Amoranda’s Good-
nature, as well as Gratitude, put her upon
making Ten Thousand Acknowledgments
to her kind Deliverer, and begg’d of him to
finish the Obligation, by conveying her safe
to her Barge. “Madam”, said he, “I will wait upon K4v 106
upon you where-ever you please to command
me; but how shall we find the Way out of this
“Sir”, said one of his Men, “I know the
Way to the Water Side.”
Upon which, he
and his Companion went before, with Amoranda’s
Man bound with a Saddle Girt, till
they came to the Barge: As soon as the two
Bargemen saw their Lady come again, they set
up a loud Acclamation of Joy, and she got
in again with the Stranger, who gave his Horse
to his Servants, and they rode by the Barge
till it was just at home. When Amoranda was
set down, at her first coming into the Barge,
she asked the Barge-men, What that was lay
in a Lump at the other End? “That, Madam”,
said the Men, “is one of our Rogues who we
have tied Neck and Heels”
: “And where”, said
she, “are the other Two?” “Why, Madam”, said
they, “we could not persuade them to be quiet,
but they would needs go and help to carry
your Ladyship away, and so we knock’d them
down with our Oars, and they fell plump into
the Water; we ne’er thought them worth
diving for, but e’en let them go down to the
Bottom; they will serve to fatten the Salmon.”

“Well”, said Amoranda, “take this other Rogue,
and tie them Back to Back, but set his Neck
at Liberty, that Part will have enough of the
Halter, when he comes to be hang’d.”
they were going home, the Stranger asked
Amoranda, how she came into the Wood, and in K5r 107
in such Company? She briefly told him the
whole Story; “and, Sir”, said she, “if you will but
land, and go with me home, you shall receive
Ten Thousand Thanks from as good an old
Man as you ever saw in your Life.”
“Madam”, said
the Stranger, “I have had your Thanks, which
is more than a double Recompence for the
small Service I have done you; and after that
all other will be insipid.”
“Pray, Sir”, said Amoranda,
“will you satisfy me in one Point?
You seem now to be a very good-natured
Man; why where you so cruel to me when I
first made my Application to you in the Wood?”

“Madam”, said he, “there is a Mystery in that Part
of my Behaviour, which you may one Day
know; for I hope this will not be the last Time
I shall see you; however, to mend your Opinion
of me, I will tell you, I left you with a
Design to return, and went no farther than
behind the Trees, from whence I saw you all
the Time.”
They now began to draw near
home, and after some other Discourse, perceived
the House: When they were almost at
the Landing-stairs, the Stranger desired Amoranda
to let her Men touch the Shore, that
he might again take Horse, his Servants being
just by; but she pressed him very much
to go in with her, which he modestly refused,
but promised to do himself the Honour of seeing
her a little Time. When the Barge-
men had landed him, he gave each of them Five K5v 108
Five Guineas for their Fidelity to their Lady,
and standing on the Shore till he saw the Lady
land, with a graceful Bow to her at parting,
he mounted his Horse, and she, to return his
Compliments, stood and look’d after him as
far as her Eyes could reach him: When he was
quite out of Sight she went in, calling for Formator;
but Jenny came to her Lady, and told
her, he went to walk in the Field just when
she went upon the Water, and they had not seen
him since: “But, Madam”, said Jenny, “Where
are the Ladies?”
“Oh, Jenny!” said Amoranda,
“my Spirits are too much worn out with Fatigue
and Fear to answer you any Question:
I must repose myself a little, and when Formator
comes in let me know, for I have a long
Tale to tell that good old Man; in the mean
time, bid the two Barge-men, Saunders and Robert,
take Care of their Charge.”
Here she went
to her Chamber, and with a grateful Heart
thanked Heaven for her Deliverance; but the
Agent it had employed ran strangely in her
Head. “From whence”, said she to herself,
“could he come? He is a perfect Stranger hereabout,
and how he came into that Wood,
which is no Road, and at such a needful Time,
I cannot imagine: Sure Providence dropp’d
him down for my Safety, and he is again returned,
for he is too God-like to be an Inhabitant
of this World, something so very foreign
to what I have observed in the rest of his Sex, a K6r 109
a Je-ne-scay-quoy in every Word, every Action
he is Master of――But what did he mean
when he said, his Behaviour had a Mystery in
it? Will he come again?――He said he
would, and tell me this mighty Secret; I wish
he may keep his Word, methingks I long to see
him again; but then Formator――What of
Formator? He will not find Fault where there
is none: Formator is strict, but then he is
just, and will not take away Merit where he
sees there is a Title to it.—I wonder what Love
is, if ever I felt either its Pleasure or its Pain,
it is now.”
These Reflections, and her wearied
Spirits lull’d her to Sleep, and her disturbed
Mind had an Hour’s Rest. When Jenny had laid
her down, and observed something very extraordinary
in her Looks, she made all the
Haste she could to the Barge, for Information
from thence; but as she was going, she met
Saunders and Robert at the Back-door, dragging
in two more of her Fellow-Servants, pinion’d
down with Cords. “Mercy upon us”,
said Jenny, “What is the Matter?”

“Aye”, quoth Robert, “Mercy is a fine Word,
but an there be any shewn here, I think we deserve
none ourselves.”
“Why don’t ye tell me”,
said Jenny, “what the Matter is?” “Matter”, said
Saunders, “Aye, Aye, if such Rogues must go
unpunished, for my Part I’ll never take Five
Guineas again for being honest.”
“Why, what
the Devil have they done?”
said Jenny, “done”, said K6v 110
said Robert; “nay, nay, they have done, and
had like to have undone; but the Man has his
Mare again, and so there is nothing done to
any Purpose, thank Fortune.”
“Pox take you
, said Jenny, “if I don’t fit you for this, may
I always long in vain, as I do now, ye Couple
of amphibious Rats, I’ll make ye tipple in the
Element ye are best used to, till ye burst your
ugly Guts, before ye shall ever wet your
Whistles with any thing under my Care.”
you so, Mrs. Jane”
, said Saunders, “then you shall
swim in a Dike of your own making, before
you shall ever come into my Barge again:
You think, forsooth, because the Butler’s your
Sweet-heart, no-body must come within Smell
of the Ale-cellar without your Leave; but,
I-cod, your flat Bottom shall grow to the
Cricket in the Pantry, before it shall ever be set
on a Cushion in my Barge again.”
“You may go”,
said Jenny, “and hang yourself in your Barge,
it is as good there as any-where else, you great
Flounder-mouth’d Sea-calf.”
While they were
in this warm Discourse, Formator came in, and
ask’d Jenny, If the Ladies were yet return’d?
“My Lady, Sir”, said Jenny, “is return’d, but
no-body is come with her but the two Barge-
men, and a Couple of the Footmen with Ropes
about them, in the wrong Place I suppose.”

“Where”, said Formator, “is your Lady?” “Gone
to Bed, Sir”
, said Jenny, “but order’d me to let
her know when you came in. I hear her ring just L1r 111
just now.”
Amoranda was not long coming down,
when she heard Formator was come in but
meeting him with the greatest Pleasure, said,
“Oh! Formator, I am glad we are met again,
I will always allow you a man of deep Penetration,
and a discerning Judgement: Come”
said she, “let us go and sit down in the Parlour,
and I will tell you such a Story――You little
think what a fiery Tryal I have gone thro’
since I saw you.”
When they were sate; “Madam,”
said Formator, “I fear you have been
frighted, you look very pale, and yet I think
we have had no high Winds to day; but
, continued he, “are the Ladies?” “Ladies”,
said Amoranda, “the Monsters, the Fiends, you
should have said; but they have received the
just Reward of their Wickedness, and are now
no more.”
“What”, said Formator, “are they
“No”, said she, “I’ll tell you their
; so she began and told him the
whole Story; but when she came to that Part
where the Stranger was concern’d, she blush’d
and sigh’d, saying, “Oh, Formator! had you
seen the fine Man, how graceful, how charming,
how, handsome――Pugh, I think I’m
, said she, “I mean how gentle he was, I’ll
swear, Formator”
, said she, “now I look at you
again, I think the upper part of your Face
like his, and there is some Resemblance in
your Voices too, but that you speak slower,
and have a little Lisp.”

L Ma- L1v 112

“Madam”, said Formator, “I prophesy, I shall
not be Ilik’d the worse for having a Resemblance
of this fine Man; but beg you will have a Care
he is a Stranger, as well as Biranthus was, and,
for ought you know, may be as great a Villian.”

“O! ’tis impossible”, said Amoranda, “if he be
bad, the whole Race of Mankind are so: No,
Formator, Probity, Justice, Honour and good
Sense sit triumphant on his fine Face.”

“Madam”, said Formator smiling, “’tis well if
this Gentleman has not made a greater Conquest
than that over your Ravisher; but how
can you forgive his Cruelty, in riding away
from you when you were in such Distress?”
told him of it”
, said she, “in the Barge, and he
said, it was a mysterious Action which I should
know more of another Time.”
“What, then”,
said Formator, “he intends to visit you I find”;
“He said he would: Do you think he will keep
his word, Formator?”
said she: “No doubt
on’t, Madam”
, said he, “a Man of so much
Honour, as you say he is, will never make a
Forfeiture of it, by breach of Promise to a fine
“I remember, Formator”, said she, “you
told me some time ago, that a Woman’s Conduct,
vindicated by one Man of Sense, was infinitely
preferable to a thousand Elogiums,
from as many Coxcombs. I have now brought
myself to an utter Contempt for all that Part
of your Species, and shall, for the future, not
only despise Flattery, but abhor the Mouth
it comes from.”

I L2r 113

“I own, Formator, the Ground work of this
Reformation in me came from those wholesome
Lectures you have so often read to me;
but the finishing Stroke is given by my own
“I believe it, Madam”, said he “by your
Inclination for the Stranger who (that he may
prove worthy of you) I wish may deserve as
well in the Eye of the World, as he seems to
do in your own.”
“Well, Formator”, said she, “I
find you think I’m in Love; and, for ought
I know, so I am; for I’m sure I feel something
in my Heart that was never there before: But
this I here promise you, I will never marry any
Man who has not your Approbation, as well
as mine.”
“Why then, Madam”, said he, “in Return
for your Good-nature, be assured, I will
bring my Opinion as near yours as I can, and
doubt not but they will meet at last: But, Madam,”
said he, “what must be done with the two
Rogues yonder?”
“I know not”, said she, “I think
’tis best to pay them their Wages, and turn ’em
“Yes”, said Formator, “off a Ladder, if you
please; should we take no more Notice than
that of stealing our Heiresses, every Rascal,
who has twenty Guineas to bribe a Footman,
may come when he pleases: No, Madam,
they must swing for Example.”
“I own”, said
Amoranda, “they deserve it, but I am not willing
to take their Lives; perhaps a little Clemency
may reclaim them.”
“Madam”, said he, “the
Mercy you would shew them is highly becomingL2 coming L2v 114
your Sex; but you forget ’tis doing
the World, as well as yourself, a Kindness, to
rid both of such Villians; I therefore beg Leave
to send them To-Morrow Morning to the
County Jail.”
“Then do what you will”, said she,
“I leave it wholly to you,. Next Day, at Dinner,
Amoranda look’d very grave, and Formator
very gay: “Madam”, said he, “I begin to fear
you are really in Love, else where are all those
pleasant Airs, that Vivacity in your Eyes, the
Smiles that used to sit on that fine Mouth,
and the sprightly diverting Conversation, so
agreeable to all that heard it? I think”
, said
he, “we must send a Hue-and-Cry after your
Deliverer, in order to recover your Charms.”

“I believe, Formator”, said she, “what I have
lost you have found; methinks you rally with
a very gay Air; I am glad to see you grow so
chearful; but why should you impute my Gravity
rather to Love, than to the late Fright
and Disorder I have been in? Do you think a
Danger like mine is to be forgotten of a sudden?”

While they were in this Discourse, a Servant
came in with a Letter for his Lady, and said,
the Messenger staid for an Answer. “Formator”,
said Amoranda, “you shall give me Leave to
read it”
, which she did, as follows.

“Madam, The Raptures I have been in ever since Yesterday,
at the Thoughts of having served you L3r 115
you, has deprived me of a whole Night’s Sleep:
What Pleasure can this World give us, like that
of obliging a fine Woman, unless it be that of her returning
it! But as that is a Blessing I do not deserve,
it is likewise what I dare not hope for, because
my Wishes are superior to any Service I have,
or can do. Believe me, Madam, I aim at nothing
less than your lovely Person, and wish for nothing
more. Oblige me with one Line to encourage a
Visit; and if I can but make myself acceptable to
You, Formator and I will talk about the Estate.
Yours, Alanthus.”

While Amoranda read this Letter, Formator
watched her Eyes, in which he saw a pleasing
Surprise. When she had read it, with a quite
different Look from that she had all Dinner-
time, she said, “I have seen this Hand before,
but cannot recollect where. Here, Formator”
said she, “I find you are to be a Party concern’d
pray read it, and tell me whether I shall answer
When he had read it, he return’d it,
and said, “I fear, Madam, my Advice will have
but little Force; however, since you condescend
to ask it, it is but Good-manners to give
it; and I think you ought to have a Care how
you converse with a Man for whom you seem
to have a tender Concern already, till you
know something of his Circumstances.”

“Nay, Formator”, said she, “that’s the Part you
are to look after, you know I have nothing to L3 do L3v 116
do with that; but I think there can be no
Harm in one Visit, and it would be a poor
Return for saving my Life and Honour, to
deny the Satisfaction of a Line: But I will
write but a little, and you shall see it when I
have done.”
She went to her Closet, and wrote
the following Words:

“I confess myself so greatly obliged by the generous
Alanthus, that it is not possible for the little
Instrument in my Hand to make a suitable Acknowledgment
for what I have received; but beg you
will accept in Part of what it can do, and expect
the greatest Addition, from a verbal Thanks, which
is in the Power of

As soon as she had done, she brought it to
Formator, and when he had read it, she seal’d
it up, and call’d for the Messenger, whom she
had a Mind to pump a little. “Friend”, said she,
“I have writ a Line to your Master, but you
must tell me how to direct it.”

“Madam”, said he, “it can never lose its Way
while I am its Convoy; I’ll undertake to deliver
it safe.”
“How many Miles”, said she, “have
you rid To-day?”
“That, Madam”, said he, “I
cannot readily tell, for I called at several Places
wide of the Road.”
“Was your Master born on
this Side of the Country?”
said she: “I am very
, said the Fellow, “that I cannot
answer any of your Ladyship’s Questions directly;rectly; L4r 117
but really, Madam, he was born before
I came to him.”
“May-be”, said Amoranda,
“you dont know his Name neither.” “Yes, Madam,”
said he, “mighty well, and so does your
Ladyship, doubtless; for my Master always
writes his Name when he sends a Billet to a fine
“I fancy”, said Amoranda, “your Master is a
Papist, and you are his Chaplain in Disguise,
for you have all the Evasions of a Jesuit.”
, said he, “I have only Religion enough
for one, I want the cunning Part; but, Madam”
said he, “my Master will be impatient for my
Return, so beg your Ladyship will dismiss me.”

“Here then” said she, “take that Letter for your
Master, and there’s something for yourself,
and be gone as soon as you please.”

Formator stood all this while at a Window
learing at them, and laughing to hear the Dialogue
betwixt them. “Well, Madam”, said he,
“I am sure you are pleased, your Looks are so
much mended.”
“Pugh!” said she, “I think I have
the foolishest Eyes that ever were, they can’t
keep a Secret; but they can tell you no more
than I have done already. I have own’d to you
I do like this Man, who calls himself Alanthus,
much better than any I ever saw before, and
am fully determined to die as I am, if his Circumstances
will not admit of an Union between
us: But I am now going to be very happy in
a female Confidant, to whom I can intrust all
my Secrets.”
“Not another Arentia I hope”, said For- L4v 118
Formator. “No, no”, said she, “it is a grave Lady,
the only Relation I have on my Mother’s
Side: I expect her To-morrow; she will be a
rare Companion for you, Formator, and I can
assure you she is a Woman of good Sense, and
a pretty Fortune. I know not but we may
have a Match between you: and while I am
contriving for a Companion for myself, I am,
perhaps, getting you a Mistress.”
“No Madam”,
said Formator, “I have as many Mistresses as I
intend to have already; but if she comes To-
morrow, I think I’ll go and meet her.”
“I’ll assure
, said Amoranda, “I intend her for my
Companion and Bed-fellow all this ensuing
“Yes”, said Formator, “if Alanthus does
not take her Place.”
“Say no more of that”, said
she; “but I desire you will not go out To-morrow,
because I fancy Alanthus will come, and
I would fain have you see him.”
“Madam”, said
he, “I shall not want an Opportunity of seeing
him; his first Visit will not be his last; Amoranda
cannot make an half Conquest.”

“I declare”, said she, “you are very courtly, and
I begin to take a little Merit to myself upon
your Account; for, they say, a brisk Girl makes
a young old Man: But I’ll go and undress me,
and by that Time Supper will be ready.”
Amoranda was undressing, she pull’d out the
pleasing Letter; and while she was reading it
over again, Jenny, with the prying Eyes of a
Chamber-maid, look’d at it, and said, “I wonder, Madam, L5r 119
Madam, what Delight you can take in that
rude, unmannerly Letter.”
“What do you mean”,
said Amoranda, “you never saw it in your Life
“Why, Madam”, said Jenny, “is it not
that you had thrown in at the Summer-house
Window in the Glove? I think it is the same
“Aye”, said Amoranda, “and so do I too,
now you put me in Mind on’t; I knew I had
seen the Hand before, but could not remember
where. No, Jenny”
, said she, “that Letter which
you call rude, I now see with other Eyes, and
have Reason to believe it came from a Friend.”

“Nay, Madam”, said Jenny, “you know best how
you can bear an Affront; had any Fellow sent
me such a one, I would have spit in his Face
the first Time I saw him: Tell me, I was no
Angel! an impudent Blockhead.”
“I find”, said
Amoranda, “your Lovers must be very obsequious,
Jenny; Prythee, what sort of a Husband
would you have?”
“Madam”, said she, “I would
have one that would keep me as well as you
do; one that would rise to work in a Morning,
and let me lie a bed; keep me a Maid to do
the Business of the House, and a Nurse to bring
up his Children; and then, I believe, I should
make a pretty good Wife.”
“That is to say, Jenny”,
said Amoranda, “if you can get a Husband that
will keep you in perfect Idleness, you will be
so very good, as to be very quiet; but I find
you intend to take less Pains than I should do;
for, if ever I have a Child, I will not think it a Trouble L5v 120
Trouble to nurse it; ’tis a Work Nature requires
of us.”
“Aye, marry, Madam”, said Jenny,
“if I had follow’d Nature, I should have had
Children long ago for some-body to nurse:
But I hear the Bell for Supper, will your Ladyship
please to walk down?”

When they had done Supper, Amoranda
shew’d Formator the first Letter, and ask’d him,
if he did not think it was the same Hand which
came subscrib’d Alanthus? “Yes, Madam”, said
he, “I believe it is; and how will you excuse
such plain Dealing?”
“Oh!” said Amoranda, “you
have taught me to relish it, and I have no
longer a Taste for Flattery; I see ’tis nothing
but Self-interest in your Sex, and a Weakness
in our’s, to be pleased with it.”
“Believe me,
, said Formator, “you make my poor
old Heart dance with Joy, to see this happy
Reformation in you; and I shall give a speedy
Account to your Uncle of the advantageous
Change in your Behaviour: As for Alanthus,
I find he has made a Way to your good Opinion
of him; and, if I find his Estate answers,
as he seems to hint it will, I will further his
Amour, and try to make you happy in the
Man you like.”

“Formator”, said the pleased Amoranda, “do
not you think I ought to have more than a
common Regard for the Man who snatch’d
me from the Jaws of Death and Ruin? But
, said she, “can be the Reason of his concealing

Madam, L6r 121

“Madam”, said Formator, “Man is a rational
Creature, and you say Alanthus has good Sense;
he, doubtless, has his Reasons for what he does;
but when I see him, I will give you my Opinion
of him more at large.”
It now grew late,
and Amoranda went to Bed, but Alanthus,
whom she expected to see next Day, had taken
such Possession of her Head and Heart, that
poor Sleep was quite banished. The Sun no
sooner got up than Amoranda did so too; and,
leaving her restless Bed, went into the Garden
to try if Variety of Objects would divert her
Thoughts: After she had spent some Time
among the Birds and Flowers, she thought she
heard the Noise of Horses in the Highway, and
some-body groan: She ran and call’d Jenny,
who came, and they, with the Gardener, ran
to the Summer-house, and, having opened the
Shutters, they saw a fine youndg Lady on a
Spanish Jennet, in very rich Trappings, the Lady
herself in a pale Wigg, with a lac’d Hat and
Feather; an Habit of Brocade, fac’d with a
Silver Stuff, and attended by three Servants
in rich Liveries, and her Woman, all well
mounted; but just at the Summer-house Window,
one of her Men fell down and broke his
Leg. Amoranda had a just Compassion for the
unfortunate Man, and saw his Lady’s Journey
retarded; but the late Attempts which had
been made upon her, made her afraid to desire her L6v 122
her to come in; however, Good-manners took
Place of her Fears, and she said, “Madam, if
you will honour me so far as to ride into the
Court and alight, my Servants shall get you
a Surgeon.”
The Lady accepted of the Invitation,
and Amoranda met her at the Gate:
When she had conducted her in with that Respect,
which she thought due to her Quality,
she order’d her Coach to be got ready to carry
the Servant to the next Market Town, within
three little Miles, where there was a very good
Surgeon. Amoranda then call’d for Breakfast;
and while they were drinking Tea, and eating
Sweet-meats, she kept her Eye so long upon
the strange Lady, that she was almost asham’d,
and thought she saw every Feature of Alanthus
in her, only her’s had a more effeminate

“Madam”, said she, “if I may hope for the
Honour of being better acquainted with you,
and that you have not resolved to make your
Journey a Secret, I should be very proud of
knowing your Family, and where you travel
this Way.”
“Madam”, said the young Lady, “I
never thought any thing so troublesome as a
Secret, and, for that Reason, never keep any;
I can assure you there is not one Circumstance
in my Life worth knowing; but if it will
oblige you to answer directly to the Questions
you have asked, I will briefly tell you: My Father M1r 123
Father, who has been some Years dead, was
Marquis of W—r: I left a tender Mother Yesterday
to go in Search of an only Brother, of
whom I hope to hear of at Lord B—s: He has
been from us above this half Year; and tho’
he writes to us often, we know not where he is.
Lord B――s is my Mother’s Brother, and
lives so near you, I presume, I need not name
the Town, but think it is not above twelve
Miles from hence.”
“And pray, Madam”, said
Amoranda, “is not the young Marquis, your
Brother, call’d Alanthus?”
“Yes”, said the Lady,
“Do you know him, Madam”.? “I believe”, said
Amoranda, “I saw him once on Horse-back,
when I was from home one Day: He is a fine
Man, and, I think, your Ladyship’s like him.”

By this Time the Servants return’d, who had
carried their Companion to the Surgeon; and
the young Lady again took Horse, after she
had refused a great many Invitations from Amoranda
to stay a Day or two with her, but
oblig’d herself to call as she return’d, and stay
a Week with her then.

As soon as she was gone, a thousand Thoughts
crowded themselves into Amoranda’s Breast, and
as many pleasing Ideas danced in her Fancy:
she well knew Formator would share her Joy,
and therefore call’d for him to communicate
the whole Affair to him; but was told, he
rode out in the Morning before seven o’Clock,
and said, he should not return ’till Night. She M despair’d M1v 124
despair’d of seeing Alanthus that Day thinking
his Sister would wholly engross him; however,
she was resolv’d to put on all her Charms both
that Day, and every Day till he came, and
call’d Jenny to go up and dress her to the best
Advantage. Dinner over, Alanthus., who had
Love enough to leave all the World for Amoranda,
came in a Chariot and two Horses,
attended only by as many Footmen. She was
resolved to take no Notice she had seen his
Sister, or knew any thing of his Quality, but
leave him wholly to himself, and let him make
his own Discovery when he thought fit,. She
received him, however, with a modest Delight
in her Countenance, and he approached her
with Love and Transport. “Madam”, said, he he,
“if my faultering Tongue does not well express
the Sentiments of my Heart, you are to impute
it to that Concern, which, I believe, most
Men have about them when they first tell a
Lady they love. But, Amoranda”
, said he, “if
you have well consulted your own Charms,
you may save me this Confusion, and believe
I love you, though I never tell you so; for
nothing but Age and Stupidity can resist them.”

“Alanthus”, said she, “you come upon me so very
suddenly, that I am at a Loss for an Answer;
but I don’t wonder you are out of Countenance
at the Declaration you have made: Love
is a Subject every Man of Mode is ashamed
of. It has been so long exploded, that our modern M2r 125
modern Wits would no more be seen in Cupid’s
Toils, than in a Church; and would as soon
be persuaded to say their Prayers, as tell a
Lady they love her.”

“Madam”, said Alanthus, “you speak of a Set
of Men who are best known to the World by
the Names of Beaus and Coxcombs. I beg,
Madam, you will not take me for one of that
Number, but believe me a Man of a regular
Conduct, one that was never asham’d to own
his Maker, or to keep his Laws; and for that
Reason, whenever I take a Woman to my
Arms, she shall come there with the best Authority
that Law we live under can give us.
Believe me, Amoranda, you are very dear to
me, and I know you much better than you
think I do.”
“I think, Sir”, said Amoranda, “your
Words are as mysterious as Part of your Behaviour
in the Wood was; I can very safely
tell myself, I never saw your Face till then;
and if ever you saw mine before, I should be
oblig’d to you, if you would tell me where.”

“Madam”, said he, “a very little Time will draw
up the Curtain, and lay all open to the naked
Eye; in the mean time, if you dare give yourself
up into my Hands, you shall find I will
strive to make you very happy.”

“I dare say”, said Amoranda, “you do not expect
any Hopes from me, till I know who I give
them to; or think I would bestow a Heart on
one who may run away with it, and I not know M2 where M2v 126
where to call for’t again.”
“No, Madam”, said
Alanthus, “I have a much better opinion of your
good Sense, than to expect an indiscreet Action
from you; but if I convince you my Family
and Estate are equal to your own, and can
procure your Uncle’s Consent, have you then
any Objection against me?”
“Yes”, said Amoranda,
“for all your plausible Pretences and
Declarations of Love, I can produce a Letter
under your own Hand, in which you tell me,
you don’t love me.”
“Then, Madam”, said he,
“I’ll renounce my Pretensions.” Amoranda then
pull’d out the Letter which came in the Glove,
and ask’d him if that was his Hand? He
said it was, but hop’d he had not express’d so
much ill Manners in it.

“Take it then”, said she, “and read it over”;
which he did with some Emotion; then said
with a Smile, “I did not think, Madam, you
would have thought this Letter worth keeping
so long, but you have put a very wrong Construction
upon it; and I design’d it as a very
great Mark of my Esteem: I sent it to put
you in Mind of turning the right End of the
Perspective to yourself, that you might with
more Ease behold your own Danger.”
“I own
the Obligation, Sir”
, said she; “but as you have
that commanding Charm of good Sense, I desire
you will employ it in considering how early
an Excursion I made in the World, left
by my Father and Mother before I understood any M3r 127
any thing but Flattery, I might have said, or
lov’d any thing but it; and had not my Uncle
sent me as good an old Man as ever undertook
so troublesome a Task, I might have fallen
into a thousand Inconveniences: I wish he
would come home while you are here, I am
sure you would like his Conversation mightily.”

“Madam”, said Alanthus, “every thing pleases
me, which gives you Satisfaction; and if I can
but find the Art of pleasing you myself, I have
no other Wishes”
: Just here a Footman came
in with the Tea-Table, and turn’d the Discourse:
Alanthus drank in Love faster than
Tea; and Amoranda’s Charms were his best
Repast. She, on her Side, had not so great a
Command of her Eyes but they made sometimes
a Discovery of her Heart, to the unspeakable
inward Content of Alanthus. The Afternoon
was now pretty far spent, and our Lover
began to think of taking his Leave; but first
he told Amoranda, he would not press her farther
at that Time, for an Assurance of his
Happiness, because it was the first Time he had
declar’d himself, but hop’d a few Visits more
would make her forget the Ceremony and Formality
of a tedious Courtship, and give him a
Glimpse of the only Satisfaction he was capable
of. He then went with unwilling Steps to
his Chariot, and Amoranda return’d in with a
pleas’d Countenance, and sat down to meditateM3 tate M3v 128
upon what had past that Afternoon;
but her Soliloquies were interrupted, by hearing
her Cousin Maria was come, whom she
had been expecting some Hours, and went to
meet her with that Chearfulness and Good-nature,
which shew’d itself in all her Actions.

“My dearest Maria”, said she, taking her in
her Arms, “you have brought me what I have
long wanted, a female Friend; and now I have
you, we will not part this Winter.”
said Maria, “I don’t want Inclination to spend
my whole Life with you; but I have a small
Concern at home, which will hardly admit of
so long an Absence; however, ’tis Time enough
to talk of that a Month hence.”
, said Amoranda, “there’s a Lover in the
“I never was in a young Girl’s Company
in my Life”
, said Maria, “but she brought in a
Lover some way or other; but, Madam, I
am neither young enough nor old enough to
be in Love; that Passion generally takes place
when Women are in their first or second Spring:
Now I am past one, and not come to the other.”

“Ah!” said Amoranda, “I fancy when the blind
Boy shoots his random Arrows, where ever
they hit they wound.”

“The best on’t is”, said Maria laughing, “I
have had the good Fortune of escaping him
hitherto; and if I thought myself in any Danger,
would wear a Breast-plate to repel his Force. M4r 129
“But I have heard”, said Amoranda, “Love
is such a subtle Thief, it finds a Way to the
Heart, tho’ ever so strongly guarded; besides,
’tis a Pain we all like, tho’ we often complain
“You speak, Madam”, said Maria, “as if
there were a good Understanding betwixt you,
but desire you will never introduce me into
his Company; for I would always say with
the old Song. ‘I am free, and will be so’.”
, said Amoranda, “I have seen as bold Champions
for Liberty as you led home at last in
Chains to grace the Victor’s Triumph: Cupid
is an arbitrary Prince, and will allow none of
his Subjects to pretend to Liberty and Property:
But, come”
, said she, “we’ll go up Stairs,
that you may pull off your Habit, and look
like one of the Family.”
After they had sate awhile,
Amoranda heard Formator’s Voice below
Stairs; and said to Maria, “There is my
honest Guardian come home, we will go down
to him; he is one of the best men upon Earth.”

They found him in the Parlour, to whom Amoranda
presented her Relation; and he, with
his wonted Good-manners, saluted and bade
her welcome; then turning to Amoranda, said,
“Madam, You are dressed exceeding gay To-
night, I doubt you have had a Visiter, and am
sure if you have, he is gone away in Fetters,
for you look more than commonly engaging.”

“Yes”, said Amoranda, so I have, and wonder you
would go out, when I told you I expected him.”
I am M4v 130
“I am sorry”, said Formator, “I was not here, but
did not think he would come so soon.”
said Amoranda, “must be an Affront either to
him or me; for either you think my Charnms
are not attractive enough, or you think him an
unmannerly Fellow, who does not know a Visit
deferr’d is as bad as none: He told me, Formator,
he knew me better than I thought he
did; and I could have told him, I knew him
better than he thought I did: But I was resolved
to give him his own Way, and said not
a Word of the Matter.”
“Why?” said Formator,
“what do you know of him?” “I know”, said she,
“he is a Marquis; that his Father is dead, that
he has no Brother, and but one Sister; that”

“How, Madam!” said Formator in the greatest
Surprise, “do you know all this? did he tell you
“No Formator”, said she, “he did not tell me
so, but one did that knows as well as himself:
His Sister rode by to-day, whom you might
have seen had you been at home: An Accident
happened just at our door almost, which
obliged me to invite her in; and seeing her
the very Picture of Alanthus, I enquired into
her Family, of which she gave me a full Account,
without Reserve; and told me, she had
but one Brother, and his Name was Alanthus.”

“I see”, said Formator, “this Alanthus has found the
Way to please you; and this Discovery of his
Family will countenance your Choice; but,
Madam, as you have found out one Secret, I must M5r 131
must now tell you another: Your Uncle, before
I left him, had provided a Husband for
you, a Man of Worth, Wealth and Quality;
and my Business was to take Care you marry’d
no-body else: Now, Madam, if your Uncle’s
Choice be every Way as good as your own,
will you scruple to oblige him, when you cannot
find one Objection against the Man?”
, said she trembling, “have you used
me so cruelly, as not to tell me this sooner?
Why did you let me see Alanthus, to whom I
have given an Heart, which is not in my Power
to recall? No, Formator”
, said she, “I will die to
oblige my dearest Uncle, but I cannot cease
to love Alanthus. You yourself say, my Uncle’s
Choice is but as good as my own; and if there
be an exact Equality between the Men, why
am not I to be pleased, who am to spend my
Days with him? And why must I be forced
into the Arms of a Man I never saw?”

“It would be cruel, indeed”, said Formator, “to
force you to marry a Man you never saw; but,
Madam, you have seen him a thousand Times;
nay, and what is more, you love him too.”

“Formator”, said she, with Tears in her Eyes,
“I did not expect this Usage from you; it is false,
by all my Love ’tis false; I never cast an Eye
of Affection towards any of your Sex in my
Life till I saw Alanthus; and when I cease to
love him may I eternally lose him”
: “And when
I cease to encourage that Love”
, said Formator, may M5v 132
“may I lose your Esteem, which Heaven knows
I value more than any earthly good; and
now, Madam”
, said he, “prepare for Joy, Alanthus
is your Uncle’s Choice.”
Amoranda was so
overwhelm’d with Delight at this happy Discovery,
that she sat for some Time both speechless
and motionless: “At last, Formator”, said she,
“you have given me the most sensible satisfaction
I am capable of; for I now find myself in
a Condition to please a most indulgent, tender,
kind, generous Uncle, and can at the same
Time indulge my own Inclinations: But still
I am at a Loss for a Meaning to some of your
Words: Why do you say, if Alanthus be the
Man, I have seen him a thousand Times?”
said Formator, “you know there has been
all along something mysterious in that Gentleman’s
Behaviour; but the next Visit he makes
you will set all in a clear Light, and you shall
be satisfied in every Particular.”

“Very well”, said Maria; “it is no Wonder,
Madam, you have been standing up for Love’s
Prerogative all this while, I see you are an
excellent Subject, and will fight for your Master:
They say, Love is a catching Evil; I think
instead of staying all the Winter, I had not
best to stay all the Week. What say you,
, said she to Formator, “is it not infectious?” “Madam,”
said he, “I believe Love often creates
Sympathy, but I never heard it was infectious:
Love is a Passion of the Mind which most resemblessembles M6r 133
Heaven; and that Heart which is not
susceptible of Love, is certainly filled with
more inferior Passions: But I am an old Fellow,
and have now forgot both the Pleasure,
Pain, and Power of it.”
“No, Sir”, said Maria,
“I am sure you have not quite forgot it; you
speak with too much Energy in its Behalf.”
should laugh”
, said Amoranda, “to see you two
talk yourselves into the Passion you are so very
busy about: You cannot imagine, Formator,
with what Pleasure I should see you both made
“Madam”, said Formator, “the Honour of
being allied to you is a sufficient Reason for
breaking any Resolution I have made against
Matrimony; but I will certainly see your
Nuptials over before I think of my own: Beside,
I fear this Lady will think me too old for

“No, no”, said Amoranda, “Maria is not very
young herself, and you may have the Pleasure
of going together, and no Mortal take the least
Notice of either of ye.”
“Aye”, said Formator,
“there lies the Burden so heavy upon old Shoulders;
we do not only sink under the Infirmities
of Age, but we are despised for being old; tho’
the young are very generous, and willing to
give us our Revenge, by being content to
live till that despicable Time themselves.”
“I don’t
, said Amoranda, “any-body despises a Person
for having sixty Years on their Backs;
but because they then grow sour, morose, cen M6v 134
censorious, and have so great a Pique against the
Young, that they won’t so much as remember
they were ever so themselves: Tell me,
, said she, “you that are free from the
Weakness of Age, is not my Notion just?”
said Formator, “your Judgement runs in too
clear a Channel, to be stop’d by any Sediment:
I have often thought old People take the most
Pains to make themselves disagreeable.”
“For my
, said Maria, “I sit and tremble to hear all
this, and shall do nothing to Night but study
how to avoid it. I once heard of a great Person
who had one always by him, to put him
in Mind he was a Man; and I think it would
be very convenient for us to have some-body
by us to put us in Mind we are growing old;
that as he avoided Pride by the one, we may
Folly by the other.”
“Nay”, said Amoranda, “we
live in a very good-natur’d World, that will
tell us our Faults without being hired to it;
I’ll warrant you may meet with ten thousand
that will tell you for nothing you are an old
Supper, and some other Chat of this
Kind, put and End to the Evening, and two
whole Days were spent without seeing or hearing
from Alanthus; during which Time Amoranda
was very uneasy, and Maria, who should
have diverted her, had seen so much in Formator,
that she grew very dull, and wanted a
Comforter herself; by which we may see there
are Charms even in old Age, when it is dressedsed N1r 135
in the Ornament of an agreeable Temper.
“Formator”, said Amoranda, “you that are privy to
all, will you tell me what new Mystery has introduced
itself into the Behaviour of Alanthus now?
Is there no End of his ambiguous Proceedings?
And must I never see the Riddle more?”

“Madam”, said he, “if you never do, I am satisfied
Alanthus will have the greatest Disappointment,
for I know he loves you with a Passion
not to be match’d in Man: But if we
hear nothing from him by To-morrow, I will
go myself for Intelligence.”
The Morrow came,
but still no News; and Formator, who read a
great Deal of Uneasiness in Amoranda’s Looks,
told her, he would go just then and bring her
News; but as he was drawing on his Boots, a
Servant from Alanthus brought Amoranda a
Letter. She took the welcome Paper, and
found these Words:

“I do not complain, dearest Amoranda, of an
Indisposition which has confind me to my Bed;
but that I am robb’d of all my Joy, of all my Comfort,
by being kept from her I love, from her I
Oh! that Amoranda had but Love enough
herself to guess at mine, she would then have some
Notion of those Torments which Absence, cruel
Absence, creates in me: When I shall be able to
throw myself at your Feet ’tis impossible for me N to N1v 136
to know; but if yotu would hasten my Recovery,
it must be by a Line from your dear Hand, to
Your Burning Alanthus.”

Amoranda’s Eyes soon made a Discovery of
the Sentiments of her Heart, and Formator,
who saw her Concern, told her, he would go
and see Alanthus, and bring her better News.
She waited with some Impatience for his Return,
which was not till almost Night; and
then he told her, it was only a slight Fever,
which his Physician had assured him would
go off in a few Days; and, in the mean Time,
he would write to her every Day, till he was
in a Condition to come in Person; which accordingly
he did, and every Letter gave fresh
Advice of his Recovery. When Amoranda
found her loved Alanthus out of Danger, as
all his Letter assured her he was, she began to
rally poor Maria: “Madam”, said she, “you are
grown strangely grave of late; I thought, for
some Time, it had been occasioned by your
Concern for me; but tho’ my Gaiety be return’d,
yours is quite fled I think. Come, Formator,”
said she, “I don’t know how far you may
be concern’d in this Metamorphose, I assure
you I expect a good Account of this Matter,
and shall be very well pleas’d to say, Here comes my N2r 137
my Cousin Formator”
,. “Well, Madam”, said Formator,
“when I see you in the Arms of Alanthus,
I faithfully promise you shall dispose of Formator
as you please: But, Madam”
, said he,
“have you any Commands to Alanthus? I left
two of his Servants at the Gate.”
“No, no”, said
she, “he’s well again now; but I leave that to you
Formator, send what Message you please.”
went to dismiss the Men, and then Maria
found her Tongue again. “Madam”, said she,
“how will you answer this Behaviour of yours
to your Good-nature? To say so many shocking
Things to me, before the very Man you
fancy I have an Esteem for: I declare, if I were
not one of the best-natur’d old Maids in Europe,
I should resent it past Forgiveness.”
, said Amoranda, “don’t be so foolish,
why, I can’t believe there’s any Difference betwixt
an old Man and an old Woman; and I
dare promise in Formator’s Name, if ever he
marries, the Woman must speak first.”
“I don’t
know how it is”
, said Maria, “but Formator’s Intellects
seem to be perfectly sound; and for his
Out-side, there is nothing old belonging to it
but his Beard, and that I confess is a very queer
one, as ever I saw in my Life: For I have
been here above a Fortnight, and I am sure it
has never been a Pin’s Point longer or shorter
since I came.”
“Why, really”, said Amoranda, “I
have often minded his Beard myself, and I
sometimes fancy the Man was born with it; N2 for N2v 138
for he has never shaved it since he came here,
and one would think it might in that Time
have grown very well down his Waist: But I
am glad to see you so chearful again; prithee
what was the Matter with you to be so sadly
in the Dumps?”
“Why”, said Maria, “if I tell
you the whole Truth, it will amount to no
more than you have guessed already; and I
shall make no great Scruple to tell you, if I ever
liked a Man in my Life ’tis Formator.”
“I am
, said Amoranda, “it will be in my Power
to serve you then; for you know, when I am
married myself, I am to dispose of him as I
please: But what think you of the God of
Love now., Mrs. Maria?”
“I think of him now”,
said she, “as I did before, that the Distemper
he flings among Men is catching; however,
he has but wounded, I am not slain: And if
it were not for staying to be your Bride-maid,
I would fly for my Life, and leave the Place
where I see myself in so much Danger.”

But the poor Lady found herself in a much
greater before the next Morning’s Dawn; for
one of the careless Grooms had left a Candle
in the Stable, which set the Hay on Fire,
consum’d the Stables, and burnt all the Horses;
and, for want of a timely Discovery, the
Flames being very violent, they had catch’d
hold of one End of the House; but the Family
being alarm’d it was soon put out.

For- N3r 139

Formator, as soon as he heard the dreadful
Cry of Fire! jump’d out of Bed, slipp’d on
his Night Gown, and ran to Amoranda’s
Chamber; he found her up, and in a horrible
Fright; but hearing Formator coming into her
Chamber, she turned to go with him out of
the House; and had no sooner look’d upon
him, than her Fear gave Place to her Surprise.
“My Lord, Alanthus!” said she, “how, or when
came you here?”
Formator was as much surprized
to hear her ask such a Question, as she
was to see him there, and clapp’d his Hand
to his Mouth to feel for his Beard, which in
the Fright and Hurry he had forgot. “Madam”,
said he, “I fly by Instinct when you are in
Danger; but let me convey you hence, and
in a safer Place I’ll tell you more.”
As they
were going down Stairs, they met several
of the Servants coming to tell them the Fire
was quite extinguished; upon which they return’d
Up-stairs, and went into the Dining-
Room. It being now fair Day-light, Maria,
who had been all this While with them, and
had had her Share of the Terror which had
attended the Night, seeing Alanthus and Amoranda
look with some Confusion in both
their Faces, began to recal her scatter’d Senses,
and compare the present with the past. “This,
, said she to herself, “is Formator in
every thing but the filthy Beard, on which
we have so lately animadverted; but I confess,N3 fess, N3v 140”
thought she, “it made a very great Alteration
and I’ll try if I can find it out”
: She
left the two Lovers, and went, as she pretended,
to see the ruin’d Stables. When Amoranda
found herself alone with Alanthus; “what,
, said she, “am I to think of your being here
at such an Hour, in perfect Health, and in
Formator’s Gown, when I thought you on a
languishing Bed of Sickness in your own
House, or Lodgings? Must I always be a
Stranger to your Intentions? Sure you have a
very low Opinion of my Prudence, while you
dare not trust me so much as with your Name,
or Family, and if I am acquainted with both,
I owe my Intelligence to Chance; your Lordship
will pardon me if I resent it.”
thus, she rose from her Seat, and was going,
when Alanthus snatch’d her Hand, and said,
“My adorable Amoranda, if I value myself for
any Action of my Life, it is for carrying on
so clean a Cheat so long a Time; I have been
these eight Months under your Roof, and have
never laid one Night abroad, have been daily
conversant with you, and dined and supp’d
at your Table, and yet you never saw me more
than twice or thrice.”
While Amoranda was
waiting for an Explication of what Alanthus
had said, she saw Maria come laughing in
with Formator’s Beard dangling at her Fingers
Ends: “Here, Madam”, said she, “Formator
has cast his Skin, and left it me for a Legacy;gacy; N4r 141
for I plainly see it is all that will fall
to my Share of the Man.”
Amoranda looked
at the Beard, then at Alanthus: “What”, said
she, “do I see? or what am I to believe? not
my Eyes, for they have deceived me already,
not Alanthus, for he has deceived me too. I
beg, my Lord, you will disentangle my Understanding,
and let me know at once, who,
in Reality, you are; while you were Formator,
I had all the Value and Esteem for you
which was due to a good Adviser, and a careful
Guardian: When I took you for Lord Alanthus,
I look’d upon you as a Man of the
highest Merit, as well as Quality; and the
additional Service you did me in the Wood,
gave you a very good Title to a Heart, which
I thought you greatly worthy of; but now,
that you are no longer Formator, I have done
with you as a Guardian; and till I am better
satisfied you are Lord Alanthus, I have done
with you as a Lover too.”
Alanthus was very
well pleased with her Caution, but resolved to
try her a little further, before he gave her that
Satisfaction she expected. “Madam.” said he,
“was not the Authority I brought to introduce
me sufficient? Did I not give you a Letter
from you Uncle’s own Hand, to receive me
as a Friend?”

“Yes”, said Amoranda, “to receive you as a
Guardian, not as a Lover; to receive you as a
Formator, not as Alanthus: And if you could so N4v 142
so dexterously deceive me, perhaps you have
done the same by him.”
“I fear, Madam”, said
Alanthus, “you would be pleased to find me
unworthy of you, and would be glad of a fair
Pretence to make me a Stranger to your Favour.”
“No”, said she, “Heaven knows, to find
you any Thing but Lord Alanthus, would be
the greatest Disappointment I am capable of
knowing; and I have made too many Declarrations
to Formator of my Love for Alanthus,
to grow indifferent to him all of a Sudden:
But such a gross Imposition as this might
prove, would not only ruin my Fortune, but
call my Sense in Question too, tho’ I confess,
there is one Circumstance, which makes me
hope you are the Man I wish; and that is, the
Account I had from your Sister of your Family:
Nay, I have still another, which will
croud in to justify you: A Face I own you
have, which says a thousand Things in your
Behalf, and reproaches me as often for my
weak Suspicion of you.”

“Let all Disputes for ever cease betwixt us”,
said Alanthus, “as I will this Hour give you
He went away to his own Apartment;
and when he had dressed him, returned
with a Paper in his Hand: “Here, my
, said he, “let this convince you.”
She took the Paper from him, which she
knew to be her Uncle’s Hand, and found
these Words:

The N5r 143 “The Man, my dearest Niece, who, some
Months ago, appear’d to you as the grave,
the wise, the old Formator, is now turn’d into
the gay, the young, the accomplish’d Lord Marquis
of W――; and whenever he thinks fit to
discover himself, it is greatly my Desire you use
him as such. He has done me the Honour to
accept of me for a Friend, and promised to make
you the Partner of his Bed, if he liked you when
he saw you, and could find a Means to win
your Affections; if not, you will never know
him for what he is.”

When Amoranda had read the Paper over,
she re-assumed her chearful Looks, and Pleasure
diffused itself in every Muscle of her
Face: “But, my Lord”, said she, “this Discovery
being made by Chance, who can say
you design’d it should ever be made at all?”

“I can”, said Maria, “for I was so near running
away with Formator, that my Lord Alanthus
would have been glad to have brought himself
off at the low Expence of a little Secret.”
said Alanthus, “if I had design’d to have
liv’d in Masquerade as long as I had staid in your
House, you should never have seen me as
Alanthus at all, neither would I have staid so
long with you. I came to you disguised like
an old Man for two Reasons; first, I thought
the sage Advice you stood in Need of, would sound N5v 144
sound more natural, and be better receiv’d
from an old Mouth than a young one; next,
I thought you would be more open and free,
in declaring your real Sentiments of every
Thing to me as I was, than as I am. How
good an Effect my project has met with, you
are not, I hope, insensible; and I beg you will
give me Leave to remind you of the vast Difference
there is betwixt your Behavior then
and now.”
“My Lord”, said Amoranda, “I am so,
far from derogating from your Merit, that I
own, when you first took me under your
Care, I was a giddy, thoughtless, inconsiderate
Mortal, fit only for the Company of those
Coxcombs I too frequently conversed with: But
then, my Lord, you shall own, in your Turn,
that I received all your Lectures and Admonitions
with the Spirit of a willing Proselite;
that I was ready to give in to all your Maxims,
and took your Advice as fast almost as you
gave it: But pray, my Lord”
, said she taking
the Beard, “let me once more see my good old
Formator, let me once more behold you in
that Dress, which so artfully deceived me,
Methinks I grieve when I tell myself, I have
lost the good old Man.”
“Aye”, said Maria, “’tis
Pity so good a Character should be a fictitious
one; but, alass, for me! the Loss is mine;
and if my Lord assumes the Dress again, I
shall certainly lay some Claim to the Man.”

Alanthus took the Beard, and dressed himself, as N6r 145
as when Formator. “Now my Lord”, said Maria,
“you are in the Height of all your Charms;
the grave, sententious, grey bearded Formator
had certainly Attractives, which the gay
smooth-chin’d Lord Alanthus wants.”
“In your
, said Amoranda, “remember the Fable,
the Fox complain’d of Acids, when he could
not reach at――And yet I can’t but love that
Form myself, when I consider the Advantages
that accru’d to me under its Government, the
just Rebukes, the friendly Persuasions, the
Kind Admonitions, the assiduous Care, to
turn Amoranda from Folly and Madness, to
that Behaviour so ornamental to her Sex.
Then it chastised the insolent Designs of Callid,
and repelled the rapid Force of Biranthus,
when he shot my Coachman, and would have
run away with myself. Can those Things die
in Oblivion? Can they be forgotten in a generous,
grateful Heart? No! Formator’s
Name shall always be dear to Amoranda, and
shall for ever find a Resting-Place in her Breast.”

“Madam”, said Maria, “you’ll spend so many
Raptures upon my old Formator, that you will
leave none for your own young Alanthus.”

“Yes”, said Amoranda, “I have one Acknowledgement
to make Alanthus, which is equivalent
to all the rest, and that is the great Deliverence
he brought me in the Wood: But
now I think on’t, my Lord, you promised to
tell me why you left me in such exquisite Distress,stress, N6v 146
when I sued for your Assistance in that
dreadful Place.”
“Madam”, said he, “You may
please to remember, when you suffer’d yourself
to be drawn from your own House by those
two Imposters, it was extremely against my
Liking; and I said as much as Modesty would
admit of to put a Stop to your Design, but
when I found, by your excusing them,
you were resolved to go, I went to my Servants,
who are three Miles off, got on Horseback,
and with two of them rode directly to
the Wood, where I knew the Scene would be
acted, if they had any ill Design against you:
I was there an Hour before I met you, and
ranged about every part of it, till I heard
some Voices; and when the base Arentia
shrieked for her Life, I heard the Cry, and
thought it had been yours; I then clapp’d
Spurs to my Horse, and was riding towards
the Sound, when I met you. How full of Joy
my Heart was when I saw you safe, I leave to
every Heart, as full of Love to judge; but I
was resolved, if possible, to cure you, at once,
of rambling with Strangers: In order to which
I put on an Air of Cruelty, which, Heaven
knows! my Heart had no Hand in, and
rode from you; I knew it would give you
double Terror, to see a Prospect of Relief,
then find yourself abandoned. And I likewise
knew, the greater your Fear was then,
the greater your Care would be for the future to O1r 147
to avoid such Enterprises: But I had yet a
View in Favour of myself, and had Reason
to believe, the greater your Deliverance was,
the greater Value you would set upon your
Deliverer; and those Considerations carried
me behind a Tuft of Trees, where I absconded,
till I saw you environ’d in the utmost
Danger. Methinks, I yet behold my trembling
Fair, with lift-up Hands, and watry
Eyes, imploring Help, and striving to convince
me Biranthus was a Man, tho’ some
Hours before, I seem’d ridiculous to her for
only suspecting it.”

“I own, My Lord”, said Amoranda, “I owe a
thousand Obligations to your generous Care,
and my whole Life will be too little to thank
you for them, but”
“No more, Madam”, said
he, interrupting her, “I had a glorious Return
for all that Care, when at Night, as Formator
I heard the whole Story over again, and so
much in Favour of the happy Stranger, as
Jove himself would have listned to with Envy,
and if ever Vanity had an Advantage over me,
it was that pleasing Minute.”
This call’d a
Blush into Amoranda’s Cheeks, who said, she
little thought when she made a free Confession
to Formator, that Alanthus was within Hearing,
“But I have another Piece of Cruelty to lay to
your Charge, my Lord: Since you had, by
your Disguise, found out my Weakness, and
knew I had a Value for you, why did you send O me O1v 148
me word you were in a dangerous State of
Health, when at the same Time you had no
Indisposition but what proceeded from your
Mind, in giving me Pain when you had none
“My dearest Amoranda”, said he, “pardon
that one Trial of your Love, it was not
possible for me to deny myself the exquisite
Pleasure I knew your kind Concern would give
me; but good Heavens! how did my longing
Arms strive to snatch you to my Bosom,
when you had read that Letter, that I might
have suck’d in the pleasing Tears which drop’d
from your lovely Eyes!”
“Pray, Madam”, said
Maria, “will you order your Coach to carry
me Home again? I am resolved to go into my
own Country, and pick up some sweet Swain
to say a few of these fine Things to me. My
, continued she, “will you be pleased to
oblige me with that engaging Beard of yours,
that if the Man, whom Interest persuades me
to, should want exterior Charms, I may clap
it on his Face, and fancy him Formator.”
all my Heart”
, said my Lord, “there it is, and
may it contribute as much towards your Happiness,
as it has done towards mine; but I believe
you are the first Woman under thirty
that ever fell in love with a grey Beard.”
or over it either”
, said Amoranda, “but pray, my
, said she, “now that we have set Things
in a little Order between ourselves, give me,
Leave to enquire after your beautiful Sister; she O2r 149
she promis’d to honour me with a few Days of
her Company as she return’d from Lord B――’s.”

“Madam”, said Alanthus, “you saw her since I did;
I have wrote to her several Times since you
told me she was on this Side the Country, but
have not seen her yet, nor does she know where
to write to me.”
While the Words were yet
in their Mouths, Jenny came running in, and
said, the young Lady, who had been here some
time ago, was come again in Lord B――’s
Coach, and was just alighting. “Pray, my Lord”,
said Amoranda, “put on your Disguise once
more, that I may have the Pleasure of seeing
your own Sister as much deceived as I have
My Lord clapp’d on the Beard, and
Amoranda went to meet Lady Betty, (for so
she was called) and when she had conducted
her in, and the common Compliments had passed,
Amoranda told Lady Betty, she now claimed
her Promise of staying a few Days with her.
“Madam”, said Lady Betty, “it is that Promise
that has brought me here now; and had I never
made it, you had seen no more of me: For I
own, it was always my Opinion, that a Person
who is not in perfect Good-Humour, should
never incumber other People with their Chagrin,
of which I am at present so very full, that
you must have an uncommon share of Good-
nature, if you can bear with my Company.”

“Methinks”, said Alanthus, disguising his Voice
as usual, “it is a Pity so young a Lady should O2 have O2v 150
have so early an acquaintance with any Thing
that could ruffle her Temper; you have likely,
Madam, left a Lover behind you”
, “P’shaw”,
said Lady Betty, “you old Gentlemen always
think a young Girl’s Mind so set upon Lovers,
that they have Room for no other Thoughts:
Though he that gives me a present Uneasiness
is a Lover, I hope, but he is a Brother too.”

“I remember”, said Amoranda, smiling, “your Ladyship
spoke of an absent Brother last Time I
had the Honour of seeing you; have you
never seen him since?”
“No, Madam”, said Lady
, “I fancy he’s got into Fairy-Land,, he
lets me hear from him, but will not tell me
how he may hear from me, it is a little odd he
should make his own Mother and Sister Strangers
to his Abode.”
“Madam”, said Maria, “, has
Your Ladyship any Faith in Astrology? This
old Gentleman here is so well skill’d in the
occult Sciences, that he can in a Quarter of an
Hour tell you when and where you shall see
your Brother; nay, I dare be bold to affirm,
he can, without stirring out of the Room, shew
him to you in his full Health and Strength,
without so much as raising the Devil, to help
“Madam”, said Lady Betty; “I should never
have taken the Gentleman for a Conjurer,
he does not look like one; nor do I believe
any Man upon Earth has a Power of doing
what you have Promiss’d in his Name, unless
Lord Alanthus be in some Closet in this Room.”
No, O3r 151
“No, Madam”, said Alanthus, “there is no Man
in this Room but myself, and yet I believe, I
could make a Shift to perform all those Difficulties
which the Lady has told you of.”
who sat next to a Window which
look’d into the Court, saw a Coach and six
come in with Servants in her own Livery:
“Bless me, Formator”, said she, “who have we got
Alanthus ran to the Window, and saw Mr.
alighting. “Oh! joyful Day”, said he,
“Madam, here is your Uncle!” They ran to meet
him, and brought him in to Lady Betty and Maria,
so full of Raptures and tender Sentiments
at the Sight of his beauteous Niece, that his
Eyes ran over with Tears of Joy; no less did
the Sight of his beloved Alanthus transport him.
“But how comes it, my Lord”, said he, “that you
are still Formator? I thought by this Time I
should have met you with the Respect due to
the worthy Lord Alanthus.”
Lady Betty, at
those Words, stood like one aghast, and looking
round her for Interpretation, she cast her
Eyes on Lord Alanthus, who had pull’d off
his Beard, and whom she saw in her Brother’s
Form; but so far from running to him with
the kind Caresses of a Sister, that she shriek’d
out, and fell in a Swoon: For Amoranda
being an accidental Acquaintance, and Maria
a perfect Stranger, who had just been
telling her, the old Man was a Conjuror, and O3 she O3v 152
she not expecting to find a Brother there, and
seeing him all of a Sudden turned from an
old Man, whom she had never seen before,
to a Brother, whom she knew not where to
find; she thought herself in some inchanted
Castle, and all about her Fiends and Goblins.
The whole Company quickly surrounded her,
and brought her to herself again, when Lord
took her in his Arms, and said; “Why,
my dear Lady Betty, are you so extreamly
surprised? Look round you, Madam, with
Cheerfulness, and believe yourself in the Arms
of your unfeigned Brother, and among your
real Friends: This, my dear Sister, is the
Fairy-land where I have so long liv’d incognito;
and there’s the Inchantress who, by a
natural Magick, has kept me all this while
in Chains of Love.”
Poor frighted Lady Betty,
who had always done Amoranda Justice, in
thinking greatly in her Favour, began to hear
and believe all; and when she had perfectly
recover’d her Surprise, turn’d to Amoranda,
and said, “from the first Moment I saw you,
lovely Amoranda, I had an inward Impulse
to love you; and how well I am pleased with
that Alliance I foresee will be betwixt us, my
future Behaviour shall shew; in the mean
Time, I beg I may be let into the whole Affair,
and know why Lord Alanthus affected
the frightful Air of an old Man, rather than his O4r 153
his own faultless Form.”
“Madam”, said Amoranda,
“I hope I need not take much Time to
persuade your Ladyship to believe I am very
proud of your promised Friendship, and shall
always, with my utmost Industry, strive to
deserve it; but for the Scheme of the Beard,
since I had no Hand in it, I leave it to be explain’d
by those that had: Lord Alanthus
and Mr. Traffick are the fittest to give your
Ladyship an Account, which I leave them to
do while I beg Leave to go and dress me.”

Amoranda and Maria went to their Dressing-
rooms, while the two Gentlemen entertain’d
Lady Betty with the Story she desired to hear.
As soon as Amoranda and Maria returned,
Lord Alanthus went to the former, and taking
her by the Hand, said, “I hope my dearest
Amoranda, you remember what a long Time
of Self-denial I have had; and that during
Formator’s Reign, I never durst so much as
touch your Hand, tho’ my Heart had ten
thousand Flutters and Struggles to get to you;
but as we are now Bare-faced, and know one
another, as we have determined to make each
other happy, I beg you will no longer procrastinate
my Joy, but let this Day, this very
Day, clap us into Hymen’s Fetters, there to
remain till Death do us part.”
The whole
Company joined in the Request of Alanthus,
and Mr. Traffick added a Command, which met O4v 154
met with no Opposition. Every Thing was
immediately prepared, and the Nuptials solemnized
that Fore-noon, to the very great
Satisfaction of all Parties; and after a Week
more spent where they were, they all took
Coach, and went to London, where the
Reader, if he has any Business with them
may find them.


An Epigram Summon’d by Fate when Margret dy’d and Dust to fellow Dust was thrown The attending Husband wept and sigh’d and made a loud and piteous Moan. Thus spake the priest to Cheer his Soul “Come dry those fondly-weeping Eyes Let this thy mighty grief controul know she’ll again to Life arise” “Alas I’m quite undone” he said o woman endless plague to man Heav’n knows long since I’ve wish’d her dead ye powers and will she rise again