A1r 16231623 omitted

Susanna’s
Apologie against the
Elders.

Or
A Vindication of
Susanna Parr; one of
those two Women lately Excommunicated
by Mr Lewis Stycley, and his
Church in Exeter.

Composed and Published by her selfe, for the clearing
of her own Innocency, and the Satisfaction
of all others, who desire to know the true
Reason of their so rigorous Proceedings
against her.

“Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickednesse shall be shewed
before the whole Congregation.”
INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Prov. 26. 26.
“They shall put you out of the Synagogues, yea the time cometh, that
whosoever killeth you will think that he doth God service.”
INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Joh. 16. 2.
“Let us go forth therefore unto him without the Campe, bearing his
reproach,”
INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Heb. 13. 13.

1659-05-12May: Printed in the Year, 1659. May. 12 1 or 2 charactersobscured

A1v A2r

To the Impartiall Reader.

It is a thorny path, and a myrie
way that I am compelled to walke
in; a way wherein there is a danger
of loosing more in all likelyhood,
rather then of regaining
what is already lost. A way, the
walking wherein, all the comfort I have, is the
hope of getting out of it at last, and so it concerns
me to hasten as fast as I can. In it I meet with
the Enemies Sword, covered over with zeale for
God and his glory, when as nothing of this hath
appeared in the least, either in the worke, or in
the managing thereof: Satan is now transformed
into an Angel of light, But my hope is, that he
will in the end appear to be no other than he is,
a prince of darknesse, a black grisely Divel, Jealousy,
and censorious Slander, the discovery of
which, is the worke I am at present engaged in,
the designe of this following Vindication: a worke
it is no lesse difficult and dangerous, then troublesome,
and unpleasing, in respect of my selfe who
write, the things whereof I write, and the persons
against whom I write.

Weaknesse is entailed upon my Sex in generall,
and for my selfe in particular, I am a despised
worme, a woman full of naturall and sinfullA2 full A2v
infirmities, the chiefest of Sinners, and least
of Saints: should the Lord contend with me, I
must lay my hand upon my mouth, I must acknowledge
him to be just and righteous in suffering
them to deale thus with me; neither should I put
my selfe to the trouble of a Vindication, but leave
the clearing of my Innocency to that day which
he hath appointed to judge the world in righteousnesse.
I have cause to remember, and be ashamed
before the Lord, there being Iniquity even in my
holy things; yet as to them, my heart doth not reproach
mee, but on the contrary, I have great cause
of rejoycing, in the uprightnesse of my heart, as to
the things of God, and in my abundant love and
affections unto them, my heart was enlarged in
love towards them, and therefore my mouth was
opened upon all occasions for their good: though I
was of a stamering Tongue, slow of speech, and
wanted eloquence, yet the desire I had of their perfection,
made me forward to speake to them in generall,
and in particular: the Lord knowes I lie
not, my conscience also bearing me witnesse. I
mourned with them that mourned, rejoyced with
them that rejoyced; when any were under temptations,
or afflictions, I did labour to sympathize
with them, as if they were mine owne, and did engage
for them at the Throne of Grace as for my
selfe. And as for that which I did oppose among
them, it was matter of mourning unto mee, when
I apprehended the glory of Christ, and their particularcular A3r
interest, could not stand together, I then
withstood them, resolving not to spare any that
stood in the way of Christ, and the Gospels enlargement.
It is my comfort that the Lord seeth not
as man seeth, man looketh on the outward appearance,
but the Lord looketh on the heart: not he
that commendeth himselfe, but he whom the Lord
commendeth is approved. Though they have
proceeded to Censure me, and have been full of
Cursing and bitternesse, returning evill for good;
yet I shall pray, Lord lay not this sin to their
charge: they know not what Spirit they are of.

Besides my personall weaknesses, the many
Family-cares that lie upon me, must needs unfit
me for such a worke, and very much disinable me
to write even of those things which were newly
done, and fresh in my memory, much more to
write of these, which they charged me with, being
some of them transacted Seaven or Eight yeares
since: In the laying down of which, if my memory
should fail me, I need not tell thee (if thou knowest
Mr. Stucley and his Congregation) what an
improvement they will make thereof, for the justifying
of their late unchristian Censure, of
whom I have cause to complaine, as the Church
in the words of Jeremiah, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Lam. 3. 53. “they
have cut off my life in the dungeon, and cast a
stone upon me, which they threaten to eternity.”
Surely they who have been so wicked as to
censure me without any ground, will not stick to
take hold of the least occasion for the maintaining A3 of A3v
of it, and though I have in part been cleared by the
Ministers of Exeter from their forged accusations,
who received me jointly into communion
with them, yet my Adversaries being so crafty,
cruell, and powerfull, it will be no hard matter
for them to beare downe all their gain-sayers;
whosoever shall dare to contradict them, unlesse the
Lord himselfe take them in hand, and then though
they are mightier then I, yet they will find to their
cost, that he is higher then they, to him I have committed
my way, in him is my trust, therefore my
confidence is, that he will bring it to passe, seeing
my undertaking is not so much for my selfe, as for
the Lord, for his servants and for his people.

It cannot be (whatever Mr Stucley sayes to
the contrary, p. 46. of his answer to Mr Toby
Allen
) but that a slur is cast (by their censuring
mee) on the Ministers and people of God, in this
City, it must needs reflect very much on them,
who have received such a daughter of Belial; such
a lyer, &c. (as he tels the world confidently enough
I am) into communion and fellowship with them.
I looke on it as my duty, to keep the house of God
pure, to the uttermost of my power, which in this
case I cannot doe, without clearing my selfe from
those crimes layd to my charge. Had Mr Stucley
dealt ingeniously with his Readers, in discovering
the right and true grounds of his Excommunication
(viz:) my hearing another Minister,
whiles I was with them, and after my leaving
them, my refusing to returne, unlesse I might have A4r
the liberty of communion with other of Gods people
in this City, then it would have beene apparent,
that their censuring mee was no other then the
smiting of the watchmen, for seeking after my
beloved, and so have freed mee from a great deale
of trouble: But seeing he hath dealt so craftily as
to omit them, and lay other things to my charge in
their place, it will be worth the while a little to
uncase him in his cōomparisons, for the undeceiving
of those, who (by his two Books) may be perswaded
to thinke that Mris Allen and my self are indeed
children of hell, and fitter for fellowship with
damned spirits, then to be associates of the Lords
people; p. 11. True Acc: And that they on the other
side are a selfe denying people, trampling the
world under their feet, keeping judgement and
doing righteousnesse at all times, having their
hands filled with both the Tables, and an equall
respect to all Gods Commandements, pag. 13.

To this end I shall declare,

First, the ground of my joyning with them; and
here I cannot but take shame to my selfe, for being
so rash; as because of their specious pretences, to
forsake the societie of Gods people, and joine with
them, before I saw what worke they would make.

Secondly, the manner of our joining together,
and my coming in unto them.

Thirdly, some remarkable passages, I observed
whiles I was with them, together with my behaviour
in reproofe, admonition, and admission of
members.

A4 Fourthly, A4v

Fourthly, declare the grounds of the difference
between us, and of my leaving them, and also
how I left them.

Lastly, wipe off the reproaches they have cast
upon mee, since my leaving them.

All which I shall set upon in the strength of
Christ, who is able to make the foolish things of
the world to confound the wise, and the weake
things of the world to confound the mighty: And
never had a poore creature greater cause to flie
for refuge to the hope set before mee in the Gospel,
to get within the vaile, and shrowd my selfe under
the wings of the Almighty, till these calamities
be overpast, then I have: my enemies are many,
and I am single; they wise, or rather crafty, I
simple; they mighty, I weake; they have witnesses
(as Mr Stucley affirmes) I none; and which is
worst of all, by accusing mee of lying, by making
me a notorious lyar, they have endeavoured to
stop the eares of the people, and take them off
from believing, and giving credit to what I
write: so that if the Lord doth not bring forth
my righteousnesse as the light, and my judgement
as the noone day, I can looke for none other then
to become a Prey (by my writing) unto those who
wait for my halting, who have (as farre as I
can perceive) taken up a resolution, (according
to the Elders threatning) to make my going away
cost mee dearer, then my coming among them.
Its true, “I have not yet resisted unto blood,” yet A5r
yet I know not how soon I may, they have endeavoured
to deprive mee of my good name, which
is of more worth then riches, and the next in
esteeme to life it selfe. And what they will do
next, had they power in their hands, the Lord
knowes! it is to be feared that they who have
beene so forward to Smite with the Tongue, will
not be backward to strike with the hand, when
occasion shall serve: The Papists, when they
had put a Cap upon the head of John Husse,
on which were painted severall ugly devils, presently
after cast him into the fire: if that which
was his lot, and the lot of other servants of
God, be mine, the will of the Lord be done:
It is my resolution to part with all, rather then
returne to such a backsliding, and selfe seeking
people: And therefore my request is unto you,
the Ministers of Christ in this Nation, that
you would take my case into your serious consideration,
and call Mr Stucley to an account,
for his disorderly smiting his fellow-servants:
That you, who have so openly declared against
Separation, and charged it as a duty on strayers
to returne into the fold of Christ, would encourage
others to follow our example, by defending
us against the assaults and endeavours of
those who have dealt so outragiously with us,
upon no other account then our leaving them,
and returning unto you, as it will appeare in
the following Narrative and Vindication, from which A5v
which I shall no longer detaine you, but conclude
and shut up all with this request; that
you would in the examination of what I have
said, not looke to words or expressions which
may not be so fitly placed, but to the things
themselves, and the truth of them, which was
the chiefe ayme (in writing) of her, who still
professeth herselfe to be an engaged servant to
Jesus Christ in Gospel bonds

Susanna Parr.

Nar- A6r
1

Narrative.

Wee were told in the time of the
Warres, that when the Lord
did turne our Captivity, there
must be a thorough Reformation,
every thing must be
brought to the patterne in the
Mount; and by some, that rather
no Reformation, then a partiall Reformation;
and in speciall, the last warre by many
was stiled a Sacramentall warre.

Considerations of this nature made me willing
to engage where was most purity as to the
Ordinances, and the great affection and good
opinion I had of the New-England Churches,
made mee in liking with the Congregationall
way: Besides it is well knowne, how much was
Explicit
Cov.Covenant
spoken of a Church State, and the priviledges
thereof: A greater effusion of the Spirit, more
purity and holinesse, more union and communion,
more liberty of Conscience, and freedome
from that yoke of being servants unto men, in
this Church State, then could be found elsewhere:
Many such considerations made me engage
in this way, which we did after this manner.

Mr A6v 2

Mr Stucley being at Torrington, and coming
often to this City, speaking very much in
commendation of Mr Bartlets Church at Brideford,
and the order therein, and also exhorting
mee, and others to meet together, telling us
that we did not live like Christians, because we
had not communion one with another, and that
we must come together, so that we might be
in a capacity of having the ordinances; we thereupon
met very often, the time was spent in
praying, and speaking one to another, what
God had done for our soules: And to this we
were enjoyned secrecie, the reason was given,
because we might be put upon such tēemptations
(if it were knowne) as wee could not resist.
This practise wee continued once or twice a
weeke for a long time, M. Stucley promising to
be at our meetings, which he accordingly performed
sometimes. At length some of us desired
to have the Sacrament of the Lords Supper,
and because of that confusion which was
among us, in that we wanted abilities for the
right managing of our weekly Exercises, wee
desired likewise to have a Minister, M. Hanmer
was pitcht upon by some, but opposed by others,
in the end wee agreed to leave it to M.
Bartlet
of Brideford, whether M. Hanmer, or
M. Stucley was the fittest for us, hereupon wee
sent messengers to M. Bartlet, who when they
came to his house found M. Stucley himselfe
there, M. Bartlet told the messengers, he conceivedceived A7r 3
M. Stucley was fittest for the present:
but however hee would acquaint M. Hanmer
with the businesse, which he did, but M. Hanmer
refused it. After this M. Stucley came to
continue in this City, yet not quitting Torrington
till the meanes was setled on him here.
And now againe some of us (the greater number
were very indifferent) renewed our former
desires of having the Sacrament, and sent about
it to M. Bartlet, who said, we were not as yet in
a capacity to have that Ordinance, that it was
necessary we should be first in a Gospel order
embodied: and said moreover, that then wee
should see much of God, that the day of our
embodying would be such a day as we had never
seene. A while after M. Bartlet came to
the City with his Church officers, he himselfe
prayed and preached on INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Zech. 6. 12. in the morning,
afterwards seven or eight persons spake
out the experiences they had of the change of
their condition, with which I was much affected,
and through M. Stucleys perswasion did
the like. Afterwards there was a confession of
faith read, being a Copy of that which was
composed by M. Hughes, which Copy we had
not from the Author, but from another, this
confession of faith was subscribed by every
one of us: And then M. Bartlet made some proposals
unto us by way of quare, to this effect
as I remember.

I. Whether A7v 4

1. Whether we would take Christ for our
Judge, King, and Law-giver.

2. Whether wee would renounce all wayes
of false worship?

3. Whether wee would worship God in all
his Ordinances?

4. Whether we would give up our selves to
the Lord, and one to another, and would engage
our selves in all duties of Christianity each unto
other?

5. Whether wee would hold communion
with other Churches?

6. Whether wee would relieve the Saints
that were in Communion, according to our abilitie?

7. Whether we would not rest in the light
that we had received, but would study to know
the mind of God, and live up unto it?

This is the substance of our engagement, as
I remember. At this time and somewhile after,
there was never a woman of the Church but
my selfe, and yet at every meeting about
Church affaires Master Stucley would send for
mee, and when I pleaded for my absence (at
such times) from the meetings, that of the Apostle,
“Let your women keep silence in the Church”, for it is not permitted unto them to speake; he
replyed, he would do nothing without the consent
of the whole. And when I was present, he
himselfe would constraine me to speak my opinion
of things proposed.

Wee A8r 5

We were (as I said formerly) very desirous of
the Sacrament, in order to which, our first work
was to get a Minister that might administer it.

Although Master Stucley was with us, yet
the people of Torrington claimed an engagement
from him, that Towne having been visited
with the plague, and deprived of their Mininisters
maintenance. Master Stucley (who was
their Minister) for those reasons left them; but
with a promise of returning so soon as the Lord
should remove his hand, and sufficient maintenance
for a Minister should be procured, both
which being at this time effected, we could not
chuse him to be an Officer, untill he were by
them freed from his engagement: in order hereunto
much meanes was used, Master Bartlet was
imployed to perswade them unto it; but they
with one consent refused it, saying, that seeing
he had promised to returne, they expected that
he should keep promise with them.

Hereupon we wrote for counsell to some of
the Congregationall Churches in London,
Master Feake, and Master Harrison (in their answers
to our Letters) affirmed that Master
Stucley
was bound in conscience to goe unto
Torrington: that it would be dishonourable to
the Gospel to leave them, unlesse he could get
their consent for his dismission. At length Master
Stucley
himselfe accompanied with two or
three of the Church rode thither, where having made A8v 6
made an agreement with the people, those that
rode with him were called in to consent therunto,
which they accordingly did.

At their returne Master Stucley required each
one of us to consent likewise unto the agreement
they made at Torrington, without declaring
what it was; which being done by all the
men, he desired the sisters (there being other
women now added to the Church) to do the
like, which my selfe and some others refused,
resolving that we would not act by an implicite
faith. Master Stucley thereupon said, that what
was done was a Church act, because they who
went with him consented thereunto (viz.) that
we were engaged to get a Minister for the people
of Torrington. Accordingly there was one
procured, who continued with them for a time.

This Serpentine subtilty of his I tooke speciall
notice of, and did for it reprove him to his
face: we were in the meane time (and so continued
for some yeares) in a bewildred condition,
without either of the Sacraments, some not
having their children baptized in a long time, others
did procure some Congregationall Minister
to do it. And as for the Lords Supper,
they who would partake of it; rode to other
places in the Country: most of the people
were very indifferent whether we had the Ordinances
or no, seeking themselves, getting places
and offices, designing how they might build their B1r 7
their owne houses: and as for Master Stucley
himselfe, he was so distracted with Law-suits,
Intangled with the world and mony engagements,
as that he was seldome with us at our
fasts and times of prayer.

Hence I began to suspect, that they intended
nothing but separation, and setting up of themselves
and their owne interests and designes,
which did exceedingly trouble mee.

Upon our private fast dayes, when wee had
done praying, it was our custome (for the help
of those that were to pray) to spend a little
time in Conference, and at such times did I take
occasion to speak of the disorders among us, &
told thēem plainly, that I feard we did separate frōom
others more godly then our selves, as Cain, who
went out from the presence of the Lord to
build citties; that there was little regard had
to what we at first pretended, the setting up of
pure ordinances; I often told them that I never
heard or read in Scripture, or other history, that
the Lord did make use of a people of such an
earthly, luke-warme, and indifferent spirit, in
any publique worke of reformation; that it was
not a party, or confederacy that I looked after,
but to have the Gospel more discovered in
greater light and beauty; and the ordinances to
be enjoyed in greater purity: the beauty of
Gods ornament to be set in Majestie, and more
purity and selfe-deniall to appeare in us, who B had B1v 8
had separated from all mixtures.

Because I conceive that purity lay onely in
this way, therefore was I very forward and zealous
in it, hoping to leave posterity the ordinances
pure, and the name of God glorious in
the brightnesse of the Gospel: for this cause did
I deale so plainly with them; with which plaine
and faithfull dealing, they pretended many
times to be much affected, and thereupon would
do something more in order to Religion, then
they had formerly.

Master Stucley (as I said before) being troubled
about the things of this world, left us to
our selves very often in our meetings: so that
it is not to be wondred at, if in them there were
much strange fire, both in prayer and exposition
of the Scriptures, they being meere Novices,
and in the entrance of Christianity, and many
of them scarce well principled, I feared that the
name of God was often taken in vain in prayer,
sure I am that much ignorance, pride, and selfe
confidence, and a Diotrephes spirit strongly
working, appeared in many of them.

N. E. One of them affirmed, that there was no iniquity
of the holy things &c. this being delivered
without any caution when the meeting was
publique, I told him of it in private the same
day.

Owen. Another who had formerly beene an Anabaptist,
then a Seeker, next (as I was informed) aB2r9
a Papist, or little better, very much addicted to
the study of their bookes, the most conviction
that he had (as was reported) was by Jonas
Ware
, since a Roman Catholique, who went to
Rome, and then turning to prelacy, and the
booke of Common-prayer, and afterward an
Independent, the same person was very forward
at our meetings, and did often put forth
himselfe in the duty of prayer, which was a great
trouble to mee to heare how the name of God
was taken in vaine by him, insomuch as that I
earnestly desired Master Stucley to hinder him
from engaging in that duty, till he understood
the nature of it better.

I acquainted him likewise of other disorders
and miscarriages very frequent at our meetings,
declaring how much I was troubled at them;
for redresse of which, I intreated him to be
constantly with us. But he endeavoured to
quiet me with this, that they were honest,
though weak, and further perswaded me to be
constant at the meetings, to be faithfull unto
them, in minding them of what was amisse.
I told him it was more fit for me to be in private
meditation, to be gathering rather then
scattering: but he replyed, that the time was
now not to be Closet-Professors, but to say,
“come, let us go up to the house of the Lord, to seek
the Lord together, with our faces Zion-ward”
.
And though I pleaded my Sex, my naturall B2 and B2v 10
and sinfull infirmities, which made me unfit to
speak unto others, yet he pressed it on me as
my duty. And when there was any Jarring
between them and my selfe, he desired me not
to be troubled, though I met with opposition,
that one was of a Souldierly spirit, another of
a dull Spirit, that it was meere Envy, promising
to speak with them about it himselfe.
Yea when I resolved to be silent at some meetings,
Mr. Stucley himselfe would single me
out, and even constraine me to speak.

As concerning my Carriage at the Admission
of members, I shall give a briefe account
of it as followeth.

They who desired admission into the Society,
were sometimes desired in a private meeting
to speak what experience they had of the
worke of grace upon their Soules: after which
we were every one of us both men and women
to declare our thoughts of what was spoken;
it being laid down as a ground, that we must
have an account of a change from a naturall and
legall estate, into an estate of grace and believing,
of those whom we admitted into communion
with us. I among the rest did according
to my weak measure declare my selfe against
that which I thought would not stand
for grace. I was so far from delighting in this
work, as that it was a trouble to me, an Imployment
from which I would willingly have been B3r 11
been freed: I conceived it more needfull for
my selfe to study the worrd, and compare my
own heart with the rule, then to be so taken
up about the condition of others. But this
was our principle, we were to keep the house
of God pure, we were set as Porters at the
door, it was our duty, we were not to be wanting
at such times, yea it was our liberty, that
we, who were to have communion with those
who came to be admitted, should give in our
assent, or dissent in reference to their admission.
I did therefore at such times declare my
thoughts as well as the rest, but left the determination
to themselves, as it appeares in Ganicle,
who was admitted, though I was at the
first against his admission. I mention him, because
he was brought by Mr. Eveleigh, as an
Instance of my censoriousnesse. I was blamed
for disliking him, whom they said was one
of the most eminent among them, and yet it
was not long after, before he discovered himselfe,
by Renouncing the principles of Christianity,
and turning Quaker. He in speaking
out his Experiences pretended unto much
Joy and ravishment of Spirit, but (the Lord
knowes) when he spake of such enjoyments,
he spake as a stranger that never intermedled
with this Joy, never declaring any powerfull
effect thereof, but only that which was, only
but a Balaams wish. I the rather instance in B3 him, B3v 12
him, because he was the first that kindled the
fire of Contention, which then brake out in
that manner, as it is not quenched to this day;
here began the Quarrell on their part. When
I was called by the Elder to give in my
thoughts concerning a Person proposed, he
most disorderly intercepted me, for which
there was not the least admonition given him:
but not long after his folly was made manifest,
by his Casting off the very forme of godlinesse.
This is one and the Cheife one of those persons
whom I disliked, though approved of by
the Church. If I be contentious for opposing
such a one, let me be contentious still; though
none among them will witnesse for me, yet
he doth, he stands to this day as a sad witnesse
between me and them, whether I were contentious
in my oppositions, or they infallible in
their determinations. Besides, as for some
who continue among them, if you look for
distinguishing Characters, they are scarcely
visible, much lesse easy to be discerned.

Thus I did from time to time, whilst we
were without Officers and Ordinances, partly
through the great desire I had to promote the
worke of Reformation among us, partly
through Mr Stucley’s instigation reprove them
for their indifferency of Spirit, stir them up to
that which I conceived was their duty, for
which I alwaies gave them my grounds and reasons B4r 13
reasons. But after the officers were chosen,
I never medled (to my remembrance) with
Church affaires, nor spake in the meetings,
after I heard by Mr. Stucley my speaking
was disrelisht; unlesse a Question was proposed,
and I was desired to give my Answer
unto it.

Not long after, the Officers were chosen,
I being at Mr. Stucley’s house, desired him to
resolve me concerning a true Church, he then
confessed that the Churches of New England
did acknowledge the Churches of old England,
from whence we had separated, to be true
Churches: I told him thereupon that we
could not justifie our Separation. At length
we falling into discourse of other things, he
said my speaking was disrelisht by some; I
answered, that I did not like it my selfe, and
therefore would be from thenceforth silent,
though I looked on it as my duty formerly,
he told me no, he would have me speak, but
it must be by a Brother; for a stander by may
see more then he that plaies the game, promising
likewise if I did speak by him, to deliver
my words in the same manner as I spake them.

After this it pleased the Lord to exercise
me with a smarting affliction, the death of a
dear child; the suddennesse of the stroke, and
some other circumstances made it a very melting
affliction. When my Bowels were yerningning B4v 14
towards my child, I called to remembrance
the Lords tender bowels towards his
children, for whom he had given his only Son;
when I considered the breach that the Lord
had made in my family, I beheld how terrible
it was to make a breach of his family. Then the
worke I was ingaged in, this Sin of Separation,
appeared nakedly unto me to be no other then
a wounding of Christs body, which is his
Church, the Church which he hath purchased
with his own blood: I then looked on Separation
to be a dividing of Christ. Truly I beheld
it with terror, this sin of wounding of
Christ it made a wound in my soule, which
was kept open in a terrible manner, the Lord
bringing to my remembrance his Justice and
severity, and wrath revealed from heaven on
families and nations, yea on his own people,
ever since the beginning of the world: as also
his Judgments which are in the earth to this
day, from Genesis to the Revelation was
brought to my remembrance, and kept hard
upon me. Having these Impressions on my
Spirit, I was almost overwhelmed, and in mine
own apprehension upon the Borders of Hell,
where the Lord made me to behold the Execution
of his wrath upon sinners: I could then
have told what hel was, I felt the flashings of
helfire in my soule, the wrath of God that lay
hard upon me, the effects whereof were very terrible, B5r 15
terrible, insomuch as I was even swallowed up,
only the Lord was pleased to keep me following
after him, resolving to lie at his feet,
though he should spurne me to hell. Having
thus been under a sentence of death with the
very terrors of hell in my soule, providence so
ordering it, I came (by following the people)
where Mr. Ford preached. I no sooner
came into the Congregation, but I was so exceedingly
troubled, as that I vented my selfe
in Passionate teares; fearing lest I might be
unfit to hear, but in prayer recovered my
selfe. His text was in INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.John 16: last. “Be of
good cheere, I have overcome the world”
. He
instanced in all the enemies of the new creature,
the World, the God of this world, Sin,
Death, and Hell: the Lord setting it home
every sentence was to me as the rivetting of
the nailes, set on by the great master of Assemblies,
and in prayer afterward (the Lord
so providing) those very particulars which
were the burden of my soule, were put up
unto God. I went out of the congregation
with another frame of spirit then when I came
in, blessing the Lord for giving his Son Jesus
Christ
, who hath loved us, and washed us from
our sins in his own blood, and hath made us
Kings and Priests unto God. But afterwards
I began to question whether I had not taken
that, which did not belong unto me, Christ then B5v 16
then speaking comfort to his disciples in reference
to that hardship they were to meet with
in the world; among the rest of their sufferings
this was one, that they should be put out
of the Synagogues, yea the time would come
that whosoever killed them, would think he
did God good service, which things Christ
told them that they might not be offended:
But yet the Sermon being in generall of all
the Enemies of the new Creature, I could not
put it off. Furthermore the appearance of God
was so remarkable in the change of my spirit,
as that I could not but take it home, that Sins
of the right hand and left hand, and separation
also, and death and hell should be cast into the
lake that burneth with fire and brimstone, that
in the meane time Christ hath overcome the
world, the Prince of this world is judged, condemned
already, only the execution is deferred
till the time appointed by the father. And
as for sufferings, that we must look for them,
having such provision so remarkably laid in
before, I cannot but take notice of it at present.
But then I could not conceive how it was
likely for me to suffer in that kind, there being
then so much love pretended. But now the
time is come, and therefore I mention it: Christ
saieth, “these things have I spoken unto you,
that when the time shall come, you may remember
that I told you of them”
. Now I can make B6r 17
make application of all the Sermon which is
food for my faith to live upon, although I suffer
as an evill doer. I mention it with admiration,
that the Lord even then when he spake
peace unto me after my being convinced of
Separation, should lay also provision against
Excommunication.

But now after my conviction of Separation,
it troubled me very much, because I knew not
how to avoid it: my fear was lest I should be
constrained to live in it, had I presently come
off, I should have made a breach there. They
pretended so much love unto me, as I knew
not which way to break this bond, which the
Apostle calls the bond of perfectnesse; wherefore
I resolved to wait upon the Lord, for the
opening a way unto me, which he did afterwards
in manner following.

The Lord was making such abundant Provision
for me in Mr. Ford’s ministry, I did
constantly attend thereon, hearing him once a
Lords day for the most part, unlesse it were
when we had the Sacrament of the Lords Supper
administred among us. This was my
practice ever since he came to this City, of
which Mr. Stucley took no great notice before
he was in office; but afterward both he and the
people were displeased with me for it, on which
began the quarrell on my part between us.
Mr. Stoneham being a stranger was employed to B6v 18
to take me off from this practice, who at first
pretended that it did very much trouble him,
but since he hath told me that he wished that
he had never been put upon it.

He sent a Messenger unto me to perswade
me to leave Mr. Ford’s ministry: I then shewed
my grounds for that practice, what provision
I found there, and how the Lord had made that
ministry effectuall unto me, and withall that
when I came among them, I took up a resolution
to attend upon that ministry.

The same day in a publique meeting they
accused me first of Contention, and secondly
for my hearing Mr. Ford, which (as the Elder
said) the Church neither could nor would bear,
however they would not medle with it for that
time.

As to the Article of Contention I appealed
to the Church, and charged them to be faithfull
as they would answer it another day, in
making it known whether they had found me
Contentious.

Upon which, I having withdrawn my selfe,
they entred into a debate about it, every one
declaring their thoughts of me: the result of
which debate was this.

That they neither could nor would charge
me with contention for a world, but did fear
that through a mixture of Corruption it might
tend to contention. This businesse was ended three B7r 19
three daies after, they declaring that they were
satisfied.

But as to the other Article the Elder told
me the very next day, when I pressed him to
declare whether he knew of any thing against
mee, he told mee that there was nothing else in
the world but my hearing Master Forde, and
then desired me to leave off that practise; which
I did sometimes to content them, but the little
peace that I found in it, made me quickly to take
it up againe.

After this messengers were sent unto me severall
times from the Church, to informe me
how my practice was disliked by some, to
whom I gave my reasons for it as formerly, and
told them farther, that I was engaged to study
the mind of Christ; and because of their dis-satisfaction,
to seeke the Lord in this thing, I promised
likewise to submit my selfe to the Officers,
so as to be accountable to them of my hearing
Mr Forde. I informed them also, how the
Lord had made use of that Ministry for my good
in these times of distraction, I gave thēem thanks
for the great love, & good will they seemed to
bear towards me, but withall desired thēem not to
be offended if I made use of my Christian liberty
till I was better informed, and told them “where
the Carkasse is, there will the Eagles resort”
.

Master Stucley also sent me two long letters,
wherein he endeavored to perswade me to have dependance B7v 20
dependance only on their ministry without
hearing any other.

But when they saw that I could not be taken
off from this practice, they began to quarrell
with me, telling me that I was contentious,
that it was heighth of spirit, and so by little and
little estranged themselves. But the Word
was a light unto me, and so evident, as if it had
been appointed on purpose for direction, they
themselves being judges, insomuch as some of
them asked me whether I did not use to visit
Mr. Ford.

As for Mr. Stoneham he declared in his publique
ministry oftentimes, That it was out of
the way of order to hear any other minister,
when our own officers preached, that no blessing
was to be expected in such a way, and if so
be there were any profit received, it was a delusion,
a temptation, yea a judgment of God
upon such a soule; it was a going out of the
bosome of Christ into the bosome of strangers;
Rebellion against Christ, and that such
must be dealt with as Traytors and Rebells.

At length a fast, a day of humiliation was
appointed for the disorderly walking of some,
and that with obstinacy in the generall.

Hereupon I went unto Mr. Stoneham to
know for what end this fast was intended, whether
it was in reference to my selfe; if so, I
should remove the occasion, resolving with my B8r 21
my selfe, if the liberty of hearing other ministers
were denied me, to leave them. But he
and Mr. Stucley whom I found with him, in
stead of informing me fell into a dispute about
true Churches, a subject that I was unskilfull
in, and he by reason of his deafnesse unfit to
treat of, and whithall let fall some strange Expressions
concerning the people of God. I told
him that I did delight in the image of God
where ever I found it, in those that were the
Excellent of the Earth, that did excell in virtue:
he then endeavoured to perswade me that
I was to have my affections tyed up to those
of their Society, alleadging that I might aswell
delight in another man that was not my husband,
because the Image of God shined more in
him then in my husbāand. I being troubled at this
grosse discourse told him that those relations
were of a different nature, and that I thought
I did owe more duty where God in his Providence
had cast me, and where I had the opportunity
and ability to performe it, then I was
engaged unto or could discharge unto others,
where I had no such opportunities: yet I did
not look upon it as that which could cut off
my affections from the people of God, from
those who had the Image of God renewed in
them. Something also was spoken of Church
ordinances, Mr. Stucley said the preaching of
the word was not a Church ordinance, becausecause B8v 22
that it might be preached by one that
was not a Church officer, and it might be used
out of a Church, even in a family. For my
own part I knew not how to understand these
distinctions, but accounted them strange doctrines.

Mr. Stucley some dayes after in a letter taxed
me for acknowledging an assembly of people
to be a Church meeting, and the wednesday
meeting to be a Church meeting which formerly
I lookt upon as Babylon. To which I
returned Answer by letter, that I accounted
those from whom we did separate a true
Church, as he had told me the New England
ministers did; that I lookt upon the wednesdaies
meeting to be a Church meeting, the Ministers
as ambassadors of Christ, the preaching
of the word a Church ordinance, that which
Christ hath appointed for the gathering in,
building up, and edifying of his body, which is
the Church, that I did put no difference between
hearing there and among our selves in
point of efficacy, and that my separation from
them was not in doctrine and worship, but in
discipline. Much I wrote likewise for the
removing of some prejudices, complaining
how I was preached against, and prayed against;
informing him likewise that I was neither able
to live in the fire of contention, nor sit down
under a ministry that I could not profit by, and therefore C1r 23
therfore should willingly withdrawe from them,
I also desired him that whilest wee contended
for pure ordinances we should not suffer the
Gospell to be corrupted, and that I feared we
did not walke up to our owne principles, and I
likewise desired direction from him.

When the day appointed for the fast was
come, I went to the meeting not knowing for
what it was intended, The practice of the hearing
of other ministers was then made to be as
the Sin of Korah and Dathan And betweene the
severall prayers Mr Stonehāam propounded somewhat
by way of question, how to know an heriticke:
one discovery was when persons went against
their owne principles as those did, who although
they have given up themselves on unto
another shall notwithstanding say they delight
in the Image of God where ever they finde it, in
the Excellent ones of the earth, which was contrary
to their principles and destructive to the
very fundementalls of the Church.

This being contrary in my apprehension to
that of the Apostle. INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.2 Col, where he tels us.
That he had greate conflict. not for them only
which he knew, But also for as many (of the
Saints) as had not seene his face in the flesh, And
in INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Chap: 1. 4. where he commends them for
their love to all the Saints, I did in the conclusion
tell some of thēem privately, There was that deliver’d
which could not be prov’d by the word.

C The C1v 24

The Sacrament of the Lords Supper had
beene about this time omitted for neer halfe a
yeare, sure I am it was very long, I enquired of
some the reason thereof, who told me because
I could not sit downe with Master Stoneham’s
ministry, whereupon I went to Master Stoneham
to know the reason why the Sacrament was
kept from us, at the first he gave me no answer,
but when I was earnest with him to give me satisfaction,
he said, that he did not know what use
I would make of it: I then told him, hee looked
upon me as under a temptation, when I was in
an ordinance of Jesus Christ; but I had cause to
feare that he was under a temptation, in neglecting
such an ordinance of Jesus Christ, which he
had a command often to make use of; and then
intreated him that if he thought me unworthy
to partake of it, that I onely might be kept off,
that the ordinance might not (upon that account)
be laid aside: to this he replied, that the
prayers they had put up, would be answered,
which was all the satisfaction I could get from
him at that time: A weeke after I pressed him
againe for the Sacrament, he then told me, that
if I would not sit downe under his ministry he
would be no officer unto mee, and for a
close told mee, there was one who had somewhat
against mee: whereupon the same day I
went to Master Stucley to know what it was
that some body had against mee, what the evill was C2r 25
was they could charge me with, I told him that
it was my desire and endeavour “to keep a good
conscience void of offence both towards God and
towards men”
: that if there were any evill with
which they could charge mee, upon information
what it was, I would not continue in the practice
thereof, and therefore desired him to tell mee
what it was, that one had against mee: to which
Master Stoneham, then being at Master Stucleys
house, answered, that I must first resolve to sit
down under their ministry, and then they would
conferre about that: I replyed that I did not separate,
but in distinguishing ordinances, unto
which this answer was returned, that there was
as much reason for a woman to goe after another
man, because of fruitfulnesse, as to make
use of another Ministry because of more benefit.
At which grosse discovery of themselves I
resolved with my selfe to take my leave of
them: Master Stucley at my going forth
came with mee to the doore, and then desired
me to deny my selfe-holinesse for God, and
look for a reward in heaven: This was the last
time that ever I was in his house.

After this two or three times I went to Mr.
Eveleigh the Elder
, to know what it was they
had against me; but I could never speak with
him, untill I met him at the meeting, where I
desired to speak with him, and went to his
house, and desired him to informe me, what C2 they C2v 26
they had to Charge mee with, who insteed of
answering directly to my question sayd, there
would bee a Sacrament the next Lords day,
which (as I remember) was putt of, and that
some body did desire mee to forbeare, my Answer
was, that I should not give offence to any;
he then told mee what a doe they had to please
mee, instancing in his wife, dead and buried
long before.

This being all I could learne of him, I went
about to severall persons (att their houses) to
know what it was that they had against mee,
but they told mee there was nothinge but my
goeing to heare others, then I asked whether the
Church had any thinge against mee, they did assure
mee the Church had nothing against mee,
Having done this, I beheld the doore standing
so wide open, as that I might fairely take my
leave, which yet I did not, before I had for
a while seriously and sadly considered of these
following particulars.

1. The strangenesse of their opinions and practises
in reference to the ordinances of Jesus
Christ
: Preaching was affirmed to be no Church
Ordinance, as also Catechizing.

The ordinance of Fasting exceedingly perverted,
in which they walked in the wayes of
Ahab, and statutes of Omry, Making it like
Ismaels weeping to fall on poore soules, when
they go to worship the Lord, like the tumultuousous C3r 27
concourse of people, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Act. 19. 32. by concealing
the perticular occasions and ends of their
fastings, “fasting” rather “for strife and debate”, then
to “keepe the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace”
with Gods people.

The Sacrament of the Lords Supper was for
a long time detained, not only from my selfe in
particular without giving any reason, but from
the whole Congregation in generall, new, and
unheard of, and unscripturall qualifications were
required of those who would pertake thereof:
They must subscribe and engage not to heare
any, but their owne Officers at such times as
the Officers did preach, and must believe that
a greater blessing was to be expected on their
Ministry, then on the Ministry of others, when
(as the Apostle saith) “He that planteth, and he
that watereth are all one”
, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.I Cor. 3.7,8. To come
out from among them upon this account I was
very much encouraged by Master Burroughs,
who in his heart divisions, p. 174. sayeth, “If
Governors enjoyne any thing uppon the Church,
or any member thereof that is Sin, or if they shall
mingle Evill in the Publique worship, so that there
can be noe Joyning with their worship, but there
must be Joyning likewise with their Sin: In this
case they are the Schismaticks, not those who withdrawe
from them.”

“Yea farther If they impose that, which is not
necessary though in it selfe not sinful, and will not C3 beare C3v 28
beare with the weaknes of such as thinke it Evill:
If upon that, they are forced to withdrawe, in this
the governors are the Schismaticks; the cause of
the Rent is in them, they ought in such things to
beare with the weaknesses of their brethren, and
not imperiously require of them those things of
which there is no necessity, if such things be Sinne
to their Brethrens consciences, if they will stand
upon it to enjoyne them, they lay a necessity on
them to withdraw. God will not lay the Indictment
of Schisme thus; such a one departed from
the Communion of such a church, because he
would not doe what was lawfull to be done, But
thus,――you imposed that upon your brother,
which there was no necessity of, and would not
forbeare him in what I would have you to forbeare
him, but caused him by your imperiousnesse, and
stifnesse to depart from communion with you. It’s
true, God saith, the things might have been done,
but it was not necessary, it was out of conscience
to me that they forbore, the weaknesse is theirs;
but the Schisme is yours.”

2. From the ordinances I turned my thoughts
unto the Churches, both that from which I had
separated, as also that whereof I was then a
member, as to the Churches of England, I
considered that they were right in respect of
Doctrine and worship; and not onely so, but
that they were united likewise by an implicit
covenant
, which upon enquiry that they of New- C4r 29
New-England make to be the same for substance
with that which is explicit, contrarie to
what I believed at the first (viz.) That an Explicit
Covenant
was necessary to the Constituting
of a visible Church, and therefore upon
this account, there was no reason to separate
from them: I considered that the work of
this generation was not the Constituting, but
the reforming of Churches, which I conceived
separation did hinder. It made my heart bleed
within me to think that I should have a hand in
the hindering of Reformation, for which so
much precious blood had been spilt in the late
Warre.

As to the Church whereof I was then a member,
I feared what it would come to in the end,
there being in so short a time, such a visible
difference between out first Ingagements, and
the present state thereof. At the first, “liberty
of conscience and freedome”
from the Intolerable
yoke of being Servants unto men was pretended;
But now we were in greater bondage then
ever, all liberty of dissenting from them being
denyed. Our officers were swayed by such a
Prelaticall Spirit, as that every one must rest
satisfied with their determinations, otherwise
it would be lookt upon as a non-conformity,
contention, and the Lords Supper forthwith
denyed them.

C4 At C4v 30

At the first we were not to rest in the light
we had allready received, but engaged to study
the minde and will of God, and live up unto it,
to have Christ for our Judge, our Lawgiver
and King; but now the voice of the Church
(two or three of them) carries all before it, he
that did not hearken unto this, he that was not
obedient unto this, must be presently accounted
contentious, censorious, a Rebell against
Jesus Christ, and dealt withall as such. When
I demanded, whether that which they said to
be the voice of the Church, were the voice of
Christ?

Answer was returned, that the voice of the
Church, was the voice of Christ.

If this be true, then we must believe as
the Church believes, we must believe that the
Church cannot erre, contrary to that in INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Rev. 3.
where we read that the Church of Laodicea
said one thing, and Christ another, where every
one is commanded to “heare what the spirit saith
unto the Churches”
.

And as for the people; the generalitie of
them I plainly perceived that they made it
their businesse to study conformity, without
the least heeding what they had formerly engaged,
or enquiring what, for the time to come
this might grow unto; “Isacher-like they bowed
their shoulders to beare, and became Servants unto
whatsoever tribute was imposed.”

In C5r 31

In the last place I took a briefe view of their
behaviour abroad in the world—where they
were striving who should be foremost in getting
of offices and places of profit; so imployed
they were in enriching themselves, and building
their own houses; as that they little minded the
house of God. And as for Mr Stucley, he was
so entangled with the world as that it took up
a great part of his time every week, which should
have been spent in the worke of the ministry,
contrary to that of the Apostle, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.2 Tim. 2.4.
So troubled he was about many things, as that
he very much neglected that one thing needfull,
the feeding of the flock,――He seemed to me
to be led captive by ambition and covetousnesse,
which made him more crafty and politick then
could (in my Judgment) stand with the Simplicity
of the Gospell
: So that I questioned
whether or no, he had not applied himselfe
to the studie of wisedome, onely for her left
hand blessings of riches and honor.

I cald to mind his subtilty in the manageing
of many busienesses, his setting Mr Stonham a
worke about that which he durst not appeare
in himselfe; but especially his trecherousnesse
and deceitfull dealing in useing means for the
opening reading and Coppying of postletters;
the letters of the chiefe magestrate of this Citty,
this I was enformed of by one of their members,
and since hath been confirmed by others; And C5v 32
And his appointing a day of thanksgiving for
the Succesfulnesse of his designes furthered by
such unlawfull meanes; whether this were not
a bringing of Thanksgiving with leaven, I leave
it to others to Judge. I could not but withdraw
from that thanksgiving: I considered
with my selfe, how unlike it was that he should
be a faithfull minister of Christ, who dealt so
unfaithfully with men, and therefore that it
could not be safe for me to continue any longer
under his pastorall charge; especially seeing I
could not be faithfull to them, because of their
crafty seeking advantages to ensnare: All the
remedy I had left was to withdrawe from
them.

Thus being convinced of Separation and
the evill thereof, and having pondred a while
of their Unchristian or rather Antichristian
practises, I went on the 1654-03-2424 of March 1654.
to Mr Eveleigh the Elder, whom I desired to
acquaint the Church, that I should continue
no longer with them, for severall reasons which
I then gave him; And that I would willingly
(if they desired it) give them farther Satisfaction;
he replyed that there was nothing but
would be made up: “I know that very well,” said
I, “but for severall reasons I am resolved to
withdraw from your society.”

About foureteen daies after, (being sent for)
I went to their meeting according to my promise,mise, C6r 33
supposing they would require an account
of my leaving of them; but Mr Stucley altogether
waved that, and insteed thereof having
questioned me a little concerning Mr Stoneham,
demanded how long I had used to heare Mr Ford;
I answered a year at the least, the truth of which
assertion when he seemed to question, I added
farther that my writing books would make it
appeare that I had heard him much longer.

Then he asked me concerning Mris Eveleigh,
whether I did not speak against her?

To this I returned Answer; (1) by asking
him whether he did not say to Mr Eveleigh in
his own house within a few daies after that she
was admitted, that I was so farre from speaking
against her, as that I had spoken for her, and
therefore would cleare me.

To this he answered never a word, but was
silent (1ly) by acknowledging that I had Spoken
against her, but not to have her kept off,
as Mr Eveleigh had charged me.

“Why did you then Speake against her,” said
Mr Stucley?

I answered because she had gone contrary to
the law of Charity, in that she did partake of the
ordinance of the lords Supper with the Presbyterians,
which we did not: If she looked on this
as her duty, she could not but looke on the neglect
thereof, as our Sin, and so she walked uncharitably:
she being in Societie with us, and not admonishing C6v 34
admonishing us of our neglect; in suffering Sin
uppon us.

To this Mr Stucley replyed, what that lawe of
Charitie was (for his part) he knew not, he
knew noe such law, Mr Roles said It was a word
hastily spoken, and so it might be taken.

After this Mr. Stucley asked me, how I
could go amon the Presbyterians.

To this I answered, that I looked on it as
my dutie to wait upon God amongst a professing,
reforming people.

And then he told me, how that in my letter
unto him, I had acknowledged that for a true
Church
, which I had formerly called Babylon.

To this I answered, that I had called to mind
so much as I could against my selfe, as to that
particular of Babylon, and so far as I could remember
any such expressions, I did acknowledge
my evill therein, for which I had cause
to be humbled: aund withall that I did not separate
as from Babylon; that I looked upon them
from whom we separated as true Churches in
doctrine and worship, that I did not separate
from either of these, but only from their discipline:
that the chiefe ground of my separation
was a Mistake, I supposing that a Church
rightly constituted must be joined together by
an Explicite Covenant, which I found to be
otherwise now.

Iwas likewise questioned for opposing in a C7r 35
a publique meeting Mr. Stucley, as to his being
Pastor at that time, when they chose him
to be the Pastor, and that in such a Contentious
manner, as to cause an hower and halfe debate
in the meeting. Mr. Whitehorne sent them a
paper, wherein he profered to affirme with
oath this charge.

Which being denied by me, because I knew
I was not present at the meeting at that time;
Mr. Role and Mr. Slade said they did believe
that Mr. Whithorne was mistaken (or to that
effect) and Mr. Sprague expressely affirmed,
that it was otherwise then Mr. Whithorne
had written, for (said he) we did agree to
conceale that meeting from her, lest she should
oppose him.

I asked Mr. Roles and Mr. Slade where ever
they knew me oppose Mr. Stucley in a publique
meeting? They said no, they never knew it.

Thus after they had spent some time in such
Cavills, Mr. Stucley said to me, “you are accused
of a slip of your Tongue, of an Untruth.”

To which I replied, that this was a new
thing, and desired to know what ground he
had for it.

He answered here is Testimony, “here are
they who will witnesse.”

I told him my witnesse might be taken as
soon as theirs, and had been formerly before
theirs.

Mr. C7v 36

Mr. Rols then turning himselfe towards Mr.
Stucley
, said, that he believed there was never
an untruth spoken, and it being things long
before, and that every one spake as they remembred:
and farther said, that he wondred
he made so much adoe about nothing.

To which Mr. Stucley replied, “here is a negative
and an affirmative, and therefore a lye”
;
although he never examined where the lye
was.

At the conclusion I told them that I should
come no more among them.

This is the Substance of what I can remember
concerning this daies discourse, it being
more then three yeares since. Whereby it appeares
that I have just cause to charge the lye
on themselves.

A few daies after they sent for me againe,
but I told the messenger, seeing they had so
grossely abused me, as to charge a lye upon me,
I would come no more among them: that they
were a people not to be trusted, and that I
would be drawn in sunder by wild horses rather
then go unto them.

However the same day I sent unto Mr. Slade,
one of the Officers, to know what they would
have of me, who told me that they were very
much troubled at my leaving them, and that
they would look on my Returne as a Resurrection
mercy
.

I C8r 37

I desired him to returne this as my answer
unto them, viz. Let them study the Word,
and convince me from the Word what is my
dutie in such a Case, and I would gladly receive
it, and willingly submit to it, so unwilling
was I to offend them, yet to come any
more among them I durst not, because of their
former Carriage, neither was it (as I conceived)
safe for me to adventure singly and without
witnesse among them, who were my accusers,
witnesses, and judges. Since that day of the
meeting abovesaid I never spake with Mr. Stucley,
though I desired it severall times.

Some daies after Mr. Eveleigh and Mr. Slade
Officers, and a member with them came unto
me, and (as they said) expected Mr. Stucley’s
comeing likewise, but he came not.

I then complained of their Carriage towards
me, telling them how much I was troubled at
it, and desired them also to shew me from the
word what they could expect, and then I should
submit.

One of them replied “you must returne, and
do otherwise”
, I answered, that I had too much
to do with Separation already, and therefore
should not returne; then said one of them, “then
they will never be satisfied.”

As for Mr. Eveleigh he told me, that my
going away should cost me dearer then my
coming in; and that they would proceed accordingding C8v 38
to the order of the Churches: this was
heard by another.

I answered, whatever I suffered by them,
could not be so much as had suffered for them.

After this others came to me, I told them
I did expect to speak with Mr. Stucley, that I
might know what he had against me, and that
I was ready to submit to the word, that they
should convince me thereby how I ought to
be affected.

Mris Roles also came unto me in way of a
visit, who desired me to consider what a dishonour
it would be unto the Church, if I left
them: and as for what you have at any time
spoke unto them (said she) I believe it was in
the uprightnesse of your heart, and so doth my
husband.

I told her that I did not justify my selfe in
every particular as to the manner of it, said she,
“you spoile all in saying you will leave them,
and if you do so, what will they say of my
Cozen Stucley? and what will they say of us?
consider, we are rising, and more will come
into us continually.”

And after this Mris. Stoneham came unto
me, asking with teares in her eies, whether I
would not returne, and whether she was the
cause of my going away.

I demanded of her whether Mr. Stoneham
knew of her coming? She answered, that she did D1r 39
did not see him at her coming away. I then
told her that it was reported by some of them,
that they could not partake with me in ordinances
now.

“For my part” (said she) “I was never of that
mind, neither do I know any who are, but on
the contrary we are all much troubled that
you will leave us.”

About two months after, Ezekiel Pace was
sent from Mr. Eveleigh, to tell me that I was
suspended by the Church.

I told him that I had left their Society, and
that I had no communion with them.

He answered, they conceived that they
could not otherwise discharge their dutie unto
me, and as for what they had done, it was in
order to my return.

I replyed that my purpose was never to
returne unto them.

After I had made my Addresse to the Ministers
of the City, desiring to be admitted
into fellowship and communion with them in
ordinances. Mr. Stucley understanding thereof
sent Mr. Eveleigh unto Mr. John Bartlet Minister,
to give him notice that they had severall
things against me: upon which it was by Mr.
Bartlet
desired that they would produce their
charge, which they promised to do, although it
was long first, yet at length (after often desiring
of it) a meeting was appointed at Mr. Fords D house D1v 40
house the Minister: Between Mr. Ford and
Mr. Bartlet on the one side, and Mr. Stucley
and Mr. Eveleigh on the other. At which meeting
I was present, there they did declare what
they had against me, concerning Mris Eveleigh
and Babylon, where they charged me with an
untruth. And the result of this conference was
this, the Articles wherewith they charged
me, being after serious Examination by all the
ministers of the City found partly doubtfull
and proofelesse, and partly frivolous, I was
shortly after (according as I desired) received
into Communion with them; and so continued
neer three yeares, till Mr. Stucley’s Cursing
began to make a noise in the world, which was
neer three yeares after I deserted them.

Neer three years after my leaving of them,
Mr. Eveleigh acquainted me with a fast in order
to their Excommunication. I then desired
that the businesse might be brought to a new
triall before the ministers, whom they had acquainted
with it formerly, and with whom I
was in Communion, without whose advice I
would do nothing.

But this was not hearkned unto, they being
(it seemes) resolved on their worke of Excommunication,
how causelesse and unjust soever.

Let that letter that Mris. Allen and my
selfe jointly subscribed and sent to Mr. Stucley
to be communicated to the Church, stand as a vvitnesse D2r 41
witnesse between us and them, to testifie to all
the world how unjustly they charge us with
Contumacy and refusing of Admonition, whereby
it evidently appeares that we honoured
them so far as to receive their Summons, and
to return them our Answer, wherein we did

1 Desire a fair triall between them and us
before understanding and impartiall mren.

2 We did professe our desire to submit to
the law and will of Christ, when we should
see reason from Scripture to Convince.

3 We did in the generall professe our Repentance
for those Evills that we knew our selves
guilty of.

Thus far we condescended to them. And
let the impartiall Reader judge what they
could expect more from us, who had upon
Conscientious principles withdrawne from communion
with them, as Master Allen hath already
declared of his wife; and my selfe having deserted
them neere three yeares before (being convinced
of the groundlesnesse of separation for
severall particulars I declared to the Elder; & the
cause of my withdrawing being not removed;
but more offence being still given by them,
how could I acknowledge them so as to put my
selfe upon their tryall. Besides how could wee
with safety put our selves on their triall, who
were enraged with us since we left them; which
they discovered by their Calumniating and defaming
of us.

D2 Be- D2v 42

Besides we having been in fellowship with
the Lords people in other congregations; my
selfe severall yeares, and Mris. Allen for some
time, we being so aspersed by them as we were,
how could we cleer our selves, so as to satisfie
them that we were in Communion with (without
a tryall) so as that they might not suffer by
us; for what we were aspersed with, did in some
manner reflect upon them, who had received us
into fellowship with them.

And whereas Mr. Stucley in his book Intituled
(Manifest Truth) pag. 22. pretends that it
robbes particular Churches of that power and
authority which Christ hath intrusted them
with, of Trying and censuring their own delinquent
members
&c.

Resol.Resolution This is nothing to the purpose, we were
not their members, but reall members of some
other congregations. If they have power to
censure their own delinquent members, we doe
not hinder them from exercising their power.
But have they therefore power to Censure the
members of other Churches? we had withdrawen
from Communion with them, and they having
not satisfied us so as to remove the occasion
of our leaving them.

May he not therefore reflect upon himselfe,
who hath contrary to his own professed principles
robbed the Church of their power, and of
their members in Censuring of us, without the Ap- D3r 43
Approbation of those ministers and congregations
to which we stood related? May we not
therefore aske him, who gave you this Authority
of lording it over Churches and their members
without their Counsell or consent? Is not
this practice of his too mcuh like those that the
Apostle foretells of INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Acts 20. 2429. “For I know this
that after my departure shall grievous wolves enter
in among you, not sparing the flock”
, and our
Saviour tells us “there are wolves in sheeps-cloathing,
ye shall know them by their fruits”
, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Matth, 7.
15, 16
. Besides, let it be considered, in denying
of us this liberty to have a fair Triall, hath he
not hereby denyed Communion of Churches,
he being since desired severall times by severall
ministers of the City, that the businesse
might be brought to a Triall, they judging it
unreasonable that we should be excommunicated
by them, untill the cause be clearly proved,
and we be permitted to Answer for our selves.
But this he hath evaded for severall months,
and in stead thereof takes liberty to preach and
print what he pleaseth of us, that so he may
render our names and persons odious to them
that know us not.

And for farther Answer to him in that he
pretends that it robs the Church of the power
that Christ hath given &c. It being a point of
controversie I shall leave it to the learned. Let
him consult the Judgments of those that are D3 for D3v 44
for the Congregationall way.

The Apologeticall Narration presented to
the house of Parliament, and subscribed by
T.G. P.N. S.S. I.B. W.B. in answer to this
objection, viz. That is such a congregationall governmēent,
thus entire within it selfe, there is not
allowed sufficient Remedy for miscarriages or
wrongfull sentences, or persons injured thereby,
no Room for complaints, no powerfull or
effectuall means to reduce a Church or Churches
that fall into heresie, or schisme; but every one
is left, and may take liberty, without controle
“to do what is good in their owne eyes”.

Pag. 14. We could not but judge it a safe, &
an allowed way to retaine the Government of
our severall Congregations for matter of discipline
within themselves, &c. yet not claiming to
our selves an independent power in every Congregation,
to give account, or be subject to none
others, but onely a full and entire power compleat
within our selves, untill we should be challenged
to erre grosly: such as Corporations enjoy,
who have the power and priviledge to
passe sentence for life and death within themselves,
and yet are accountable to the State they
live in.

Pag. 16. An instance they give of their owne
practice in a businesse of this nature of Excommunication,
wherewith some Churches were
offended.

In D4r 45

In this Case our Churches did mutually and
universally acknowledge and submit to this as
a Sacred and undoubted Principle and supreme
Law to be observed among all Churches.
That as by vertue of that Apostolicall Command,
Churches as well as particular men are
bound to give no offence, neither to Jew or
Gentile, nor the Churches of God they live
amongst: so that in all cases of such offences
or difference, by the obligation of the common
law of Communion of Churches
, and for the vindication
of the glory of Christ, which in common
they hold forth, the Church or Churches
challenged to offend or differ are to submit
themselves, upon the challenge of the offence
or complaint of the person wronged, to the
most full and open triall and examination by
other neighbour churches offended thereat, of
what ever hath given the offence. And farther
that by vertue of the same and like law of not
partaking of other mens sins, the Churches
offended may & ought (upon the Impenitency
of those Churches persisting in their error and
miscarriage) to pronounce that heavy sentence
against them of withdrawing and renouncing
all Christian Communion with them, untill
they do repent. And farther, to declare and
protest this, with the causes thereof to all other
Churches of Christ that they might do the
like.

D4 Pag. D4v 46

Pag. 21. It was openly and publiquely professed
in a speech, that was the Preface to that
discussion, to this effect. That it was the most
abhorred Maxime that any Religion hath ever
made Profession of, and therefore of all other
the most contradictory and dishonourable unto
that of Christianity, “That a single and particular
Society within themselves should farther arrogate
unto themselves an Exemption from giveing
account, or being Censureable by any other,
either Christian magistrate above them; or neighbour
Churches about them.”
So farr (say they)
were our Judgements, from that Independent
liberty, that is imputed to us.

So Mr Borroughs, heart division p. 43. where
he sayes, “Those in the Congregationall way acknowledge
that they are bound in conscience, to
give account of their wayes to the Churches about
them, or to any other who shall require it,
this, not in an Arbitrary way, but as a duty they
owe to God and man.”

Reader, here you see how wide and dissonant,
the judgements of those (more) learned of the
Congregationall way are from the practice and
proceedings of Mr Stucley & his Church: Those
of that way acknowledging, but hee denying,
submission to any examination, or triall by
neighbour Churches, and hee and his Church
claiming an Independent power, or liberty to give D5r 47
give no account, or be subject to no others,
though accused and challenged for erring grosly
in point of their Arbitrary unjust proceedings
against us, which is plainly manifested in Master
Allen’s
booke called (Truths manifest revived)
and will farther appeare in my ensuing
Vindication, to which I hasten; This being
(to my best remembrance) a true Relation of
what passed between us, untill the Excommunication.

The
Vindication.

By that which hath been said in my Narrative,
it is manifest that I was never
questioned, much lesse admonished for
lying, untill my coming off from them, that they D5v 48
they never accounted me (whiles I was with
them) such a vile person as now by their slanderous
pamphlets
they endeavour to make the
world believe me to be: and here I cannot but
wonder at Mr Mall, that he, being a stranger
to me, and altogether ignorant of my manner
of life and conversation, should yet be so rash
and inconsiderate, as meerly upon reports to
defame me in Print, for which he is bound in
conscience as he is a Minister (if he be one) a
Christian, yea, as he is a man, to give the Church
of God, mee, and the world, satisfaction.

The Notes, (saith he in his Epistle to the Reader)
of Mr Stucleys Sermon, I am glad I took
in short hand from his mouth, or otherwise thou
mightest never have seen a true Copy of them.

Surely, if the Copy do agree with the Originall,
(which some question) I shall be so bold to
affirme of both that they exceedingly disagree
with the Truth, in laying those Crimes to my
charge which they are never able to prove, as
will sufficiently (I beleive) appeare in these my
following Answers to their Severall Articles.

I shall begin with that of lying, it being that
which my accuser begins and almost ends with,
which he in many places of his book mentions
with a great deale of pretended zeale and indignation,
which he indeavours to equall with the
sin of Incest, which he saith is a fault detestable
to the very heathens. Some of them, this is the D6r 49
the Cryme which he and his party especially
charge me with both in Citie and Country,
crying out every where, I am a lyar, yea an
egregious one, and therefore justly Excommunicated,
This is in fine, the Article on which the
whole charge depends.

Before I come to the Charge it selfe in particular,
I shall crave leave to speake something in
the generall concerning the apprehension I have
of this Sin, as also somewhat concerning Master
Stucleys
practice in reference unto it, whereby it
will be evident, both how improbable it is that
I should be such an Egregious lyer, as hee hath
made mee in his booke, and also how unlikely
it is, that hee should be so zealously affected against
lying as he therein pretends.

For the first of these. Lying is that Sin,
which my Parents from time to time, so represented
unto me in the severall aggravations and
deformities thereof, as that I alwaies (since I
came to yeares of discretion) abhorred, and detested
it, both in my selfe and others.

I account a lyar unfit not onely for Christian
Communion
, but also civill Commerce.

From the word, and my own sadd experience
I finde it to be an hereditary evill in all the
sons and daughters of Adam: “That the heart
is deceitfull and desperately wicked above all
things, who can know it?”
That there is a way of D6v 50
of lying in the best of men by nature, in this
sense, “let God be true, and every man a lyer”.
The guile, deceipt, falshood, and hypocrisy
which is in the heart, is that which is a chiefe
part and member of the bodie of death, and that
which makes it out of measure sinfull, and an
intollerable burthen to be borne.

As to the practice of this sin, I do believe
that it is not consistent with the worke of grace,
That he which lives in the practice thereof, is
not a member of Christ but a limbe of the divell,
it is so contrary to the God of truth, so contrarie
unto Christ, who is the Truth, and so contrarie
unto the Spirit of Truth, and so contrary
unto the work of Regeneration, as I cannot believe
that such a soule as lives in the practice
thereof, or hath slight thoughts of it, was ever
begotten againe by the word of Truth, neither is
it (I conceive) possible for such a one to enjoy
comfortable communion with God.

I looke on it as a distinguishing Character,
whereby the Children of God are known
from the children of the divel, “The Remnant of
Israel shall not doe iniquity, nor speak lies, neither
shall a deceitfull tongue be found in their mouthes”
.
Lyers are excluded from the New Jerusalem,
that cometh down from God out of heaven,
whosoever loveth and maketh a lie is in the
number of those who are without: The hundred
fortie and four thousand that stand with the D7r 51
the Lambe on Mount Sion, having his fathers
name written on their foreheads, which follow
the lambe wheresoever he goeth, which were
redeemed frōom among men, being the first-fruits
unto God and to the lambe, in their mouth
was found no Guile.

I hope through grace in some measure I can
say, That I have seen such a desireable beauty
in Truth, as with David to hate and abhorre
lying, & whatsoever is contrary unto truth, guile,
deceit, hypocrisie, falshood, a false heart, false
wayes, false doctrines, though under never so
faire pretences, when once they are throughly
discovered.

And as to my practice, as I desire to lay
aside every weight that presseth down, and the
“Sin that doth so easily beset me”, So is it my endeavour
in all my approaches unto the Throne of
Grace
, the word & ordinances, to obtain strength
for the purging out more & more of the Guile,
hypocrisie, falshood, and deceit that is in my
heart, and is still discovering it selfe before the
Lord, and ready to break out on all occasions,
which doth continually administer matter of
lamentation unto me.

And because I find by sad experience that this
body of death doth not lie idle, but is still
bringing forth fruit unto death, and being
not willing to rest in my own Testimony,
considering often that of Solomon, “he that trusteth D7v 52
trusteth his own heart is a fool”
: and fearing
also lest through corruption I might forget
the miscarriages laid to my charge (some
yeares being expired ere ever I was questioned
for them) or put them off, I did earnestly desire
againe and again to speak with Mr. Stucley
himselfe, that I might know his grounds in
charging me with lying, but all to no purpose;
he could not be spoken with.

And so also since the Excommunication did
I write unto him to know the particulars
whereof I am accused in reference to lying, that
so I might accordingly either justifie or condemne
my selfe. But he in stead of satisfying
my just and reasonable demand, most imperiously
and prelatically sends me a letter full of
bitter Calumniations, accusing me to be a Contentious,
dividing, and lying Spirit, without so
much as naming any particulars.

As to the Second, I might referre the
Reader for proof hereof to his practice.
It will be found upon triall that he is not
of Davids minde in INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Psal. 101. 7. to Banish from
his house and sight, every one that worketh
deceit and telleth lies; and though he pretend to
banish mee (upon that account) from his society
and fellowship, yet he never questioned me for
lying, untill I departed from him, untill I sent
him word that I would come no more among
them.

When D8r 53

When he and Master Eveleigh accused me to
Master Forde, and Master Bartlet of lying, Master
Forde
asked him whether he had ever admonished
me for those things whereof he accused
me, To which he answered that he had
not been faithfull unto me, and that I had told
him of it my selfe, And Master Eveleigh added,
That they had much a doe to please me.

Had I continued with them I should, without
doubt, notwithstanding all those lyes I am now
accused of; have been as favorably dealt with, as
two other of their members, who were notoriously
guilty of lyeing.

As to the first of them, it was briefly thus; we
having beene enjoyned Secresie by Mr Stucley,
there was notwithstanding somewhat of our private
Conferences
divulged and made knowne.

Hereupon the next meeting every one was
examined, and charged in a solemne manner to
declare whether they knew who it was that had
revealed it: To which a negative answer was returned
by every one, and when I desired Master
Stucley
to search after it more narrowly, and
presse it more closely upon them, that the Lyar
might be found out, he put mee off with this,
that it had beene so in another Church, and
though he knew who it was afterward (as I am
informed) yet the party was never admonished
at any of our meetings.

Here was (to be sure) a negative and an affirmative,firma- D8v 54
a breach of promise, and then a denying
of that which was fresh in memory and
(which is more) the words spoken in prvitae betweene
our selves were mis-reported, and yet
Mr Stucley could quietly passe it over.

The other is John Whitehorne, who offered
to affirme with oath, that which was by two or
three of the members presently contradicted;
and yet Mr Stucley hath beene so farre from admonishing
him for it, as that I heare he is now
become an Elder.

By all which it is more then probable, that
there is little of truth to be expected in his lying
charge
, which he expresseth in these words.

Charge. “As for Mris Parr she is accused amōong
other things for lying more than three times
sufficiently proved, in pag. 18. of his booke
published by Mr Mall. But when she was under
Church admonition concerning severall
things, she was found tripping very much in reference
to her Tongue, and lying egregiously, so
that the whole Church could bear witness against
her.”

Resol: If this Charge be throughly sifted, it
will be found faulty more wayes then one, and
so egregiously tripping, and halting, as that every
unbyassed Reader may witnesse against it. For,

1. It runs altogether in the generall, in affirming
mee to be under Church admonition, for
severall things, without naming any one: And when E1r 55
then in accuseing mee only of lying in generall,
without instancing in so much as one particular,
whereby others are possessed with a prejudice against
mee, and my selfe disenabled to alleadge
any thing in mine owne defence, not knowing
how the particulars will be framed.

2. Secondly, it confidently asserts me guilty of
lying more then three times sufficiently proved,
and that so egregiously, as all the Church could
witnesse against mee
; when as one of their principall
members declared (at that time when I
was accused of Tripping) in their meeting that
hee thought there was never an untruth spoken,
but that every one spake as they remembred.

3. Thirdly and lastly, it sayes, I was under
Church admonition for severall things.

What hee meaneth by “Church admonition” I
scarce understand; if by “Church admonition” hee
meanes that discourse which wee had together
at the very time (being ten dayes after I left
them, when as he saith, I was found tripping)
I say it was no admonition (as I conceived) but
onely an examination, as appeares in my Narrative.
If he would insinuate thereby that I was
under Church admonition before that time.
Then I say it could be but for one thing onely
which is omitted; neither is there any mention
made of it throughout the whole booke; And
that was my hearing Mr Forde.

E Its E1v 56

Its true Mr Stucley told me, my speaking
was disrelished, whereupon I left that practice
neere two yeares before I left them; Its true
likewise that the Elder accused mee of contention,
upon which I made my appeale unto the
Church, who with one consent acquitted me
of that charge,

The Elder also accused me of censoriousnes
for opposing (Ganicle) who not longe after turned
Quaker, and therby cleered me of that imputation;
so that I could not be at this time,
when as they say I lyed so egregiously, under
church admonition for either of these,

And as for any other things I cannot remēember
any that they did ever manifest the least dislike
of, unlesse my practice of hearing Mr Forde,
(which is the thing (not things) for which I was
under Church admonition) the thing which hath
occasioned all this trouble; and for which, (as
Mr Stucley in a letter formerly threatned) they
have proceeded to censure mee, though it be
daubed over with lying & other forged crimes.

This practice of hearing Mr Forde was permitted
mee, or at the least winked at by them,
so long as I had a friend that might pleasure
them in the City and in the Parliament—. Mr
Stucley
presently upon his being an Officer, told
mee that he did expect I should heare him, and
no other, to which I presently replyed, that it
would be hard for mee to leave that Ministry which E2r 57
which the Lord had made so profitable unto
mee, and withall gave him my grounds for that
practice. At length at the close of our discourse,
he said, we should not disagree about it, and yet
afterwards Master Stoneham was put upon it to
preach and pray against mee for this practice.

To take mee off from this practice also was
Mr Sprague sent unto me, by Mr Stoneham: the
very same day at the meeting the Elder told
me, they had two things against me, one was
Contention, the other my hearing Mr Forde,
which the Church neither could nor would bear:
the Elder the next day after the businesse of
contention was ended, told mee that he had nothing
against mee but my hearing Mr Forde.

Mr Slade also, and Mr Rolls came to mee as
messengers from the Church (as they said) to
admonish me in particular of hearing Mr Forde:
Mr Stucley himselfe wrote me two long letters,
about this very thing, & in one of them threatned
to censure mee for it: they kept a fast for
this very particular the 1654-02-2424. of February 1654.

They omitted the administration of the Lords
Supper for this reason (as Mr Raddon told me)
yea Mr Stoneham said, that if I would not fit
downe under his Ministry, he would be no Officer
unto mee.

When I was desired afterwards to forbeare
coming to the Sacrament, without giving any
other reason then this; That some body did E2 desire E2v 58
desire me to forbeare (who this somebody was
I could never learne) I went forthwith to severall
members, to know what they had against
mee, who answered, they had nothing, but my
going to heare others, which practice (they said)
was destructive to the Church. By all which it
is manifest that this was the onely thing they
had against mee, untill I had left them, and yet
this is omitted, and other things are pretended.
Let all the world judge whether this be not Serpentine
subtilty
: As to this charge of (lying) I
shall desire the Reader to consider farther these
three or fower particulars.

1. The time when they found me Tripping,
(as he saith) it was after I had left them. Before
I had sent them word that I was resolved to
withdraw from their Society I was never questioned
for a lye: what doth this imply, but that
they resolved my going off should cost mee
dearer then my coming in among them, according
to the Elder Mr Eveleighs threatning.

Again, it was at that time when I went to thēem
in love, in the simplicity of my heart, to give
them satisfaction why I left them, as I did at
the first why I associated my selfe with them;
thinking as little to be charged with lying, as
with theft, murder, or other sins not to be named
among Christians. And here I cannot but
commend Mris Allen her discretion, in refusing
to adventure her self singly among them, which had E3r 59
had she done, they would have made her as
great a lyer, as my selfe, thereby Mr Stucley
would have been freed from the trouble of framing
two indifferent bills of indictment against
us.

2. Secondly, the matters about which they
examined me at that time were such as had been
done and past long before, some yeares: so that
if through weaknesse of memory, my tongue
had tripped, how will it follow hence that I lyed
so egregiously as to deserve Excommunication?
How could they be sure that I made a lye,
though I had spoken an untruth, unlesse they
knew certainly, that I spake against my knowledge?

3. Thirdly, I did in my answers to their frivolous
and cavilling questions insert by way of
“caution (viz.) as I remember: according to my
best remembrance, &c.”
which might have satisfied
them, as it did Mr Rolls at that time, had
they not beene fully bent to slander mee for
leaving them.

4. Fowerthly, I was onely accused, not convicted,
of lying: Mr Stucley said, here are they
who will witnesse, but yet they did not witnesse
any particular, that I absolutely denied, except
John Whitehorne, whose testimony (though he
offered to confirme it with oath) was presently
contradicted by another of their members.
Why did not Mr Stucley according to the mannerE3 ner E3v 60
even of heathenish Romans, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Act. 25. 16.
(who in this shew the worke of “the Law written
in their hearts”
) require as an Officer, every one
to speake out what they had to say against me?
was it for feare lest they should be found Tripping
as John Whitehorne was? I appeale to all
impartiall Readers, whether it be not a most
unrighteous judgement thus to condemne mee
without being convicted, yea when I was cleared
by Mr Rolls.

And farther let it be considered that I was so
farre acquitted by the Ministers of this City,
as that they gave mee the right hand of fellowship,
notwithstanding their impeachments, which
I believe they are ready to witnesse unto the
Church, of God when it shall be required of
them. This may suffice to be spoken in reference
to the charge of lying in the generall.

I shall in the next place proceed to Answer
the Particulars of this lying Charge, as I find
them laid down by Mr. Stucley in another
Pamphlet of his, Intituled Manifest Truth.
Being an Angry Answer to Mr. Toby Allein, in
in which he hath unbosomed and discovered
himselfe more fully then in Mr. Mall’s Book.
In pag. 41. and so onwards, he reduceth the
grounds of my Suspension to three heads, Contentiousnesse,
Censoriousnesse, and Lying, each of
which he instanceth in severall particulars. The
last of these I shall begin with, and answer in the E4r 61
the first place, which I shall do, having briefly
considered what he saith concerning the grounds
of my Suspension.

As to that suspension that Ezekiel Pace gave
me notice of, I say that it was neer two months
after I had left them, after I was withdrawen
from their communion, which suspension (as the
messenger said) was in order to my returne. By
which I gather that the chiefe ground thereof
was my going away: and that it is so, as also
their Excommunication, almost three yeares
after, will be manifested fully by my following
answer; wherein I shall shew that they had no
ground at all to suspend or excommunicate me
for any of those three particulars mentioned by
Mr. Stucley.

And first of lying, which in pag. 44, 45. he
endeavours to prove in six particulars.

Instance 1. She affirmed, that she alwaies
acknowledged Presbyterian Churches to be
true Churches in respect of Doctrine and worship,
and that it was hard for her to separate
from the Presbyterians in distinguishing ordinances;
whereas she excepted against Mr.Toby
Allein
, for having his child Baptized by Mr.
Ford
, and opposed his admission on that
ground: there were 4 witnesses to this.

Resolut. This instance hath more of Craft
(if I understand it) then either truth or reason,
and may very well (I think) answer it selfe. E4 I E4v 62
I am here brought in opposing Mr. Allens suspension,
and in other pages of his book he saith
Mr. Allen consented to my suspension.

As Mr. Allen denies the one, so do I the
other. But suppose I should have done it, they
all know it was my judgment and my practice
at that time: where is the lye?

I told them it was very hard for mee to
separate in distinguishing Ordinances. And
they may remember the same time I told them
also what was my ground why I did separate:
what can be gathered hence, but that I did that
which was very hard for me to do, separate in
distinguishing Ordinances, and dislike Mr. Allen,
because he was not of the same mind?

But I am very much dissatisfied and offended
with this charge, because it doth differ from
the charge which I was charged with by them,
which was this, namely for speaking against
Mr Allen, because he did partake of the ordinance
of the Lords supper with the Presbyterians.

And this I denied; my reason was, because I
had never heard at that time, that Mr. Allen
did partake with the Presbyterians in that ordinance;
its now Seaven yeares since.

Instance 2. She affirmed that she never
opposed Mris Dorothy Eveleighs admission,
but was for it, whereas the generality of the
then members of the Church witnessed, that a long E5r 63
long time she openly contended against it to
the griefe of the Church.

Resolut. 1. I have marveild many times
why they should question me about opposing
of her, who was long before in her grave, and
with whom I had loving and Christian converse
to her dying day.

2ly, That I affirmed that I never spake
against her is false, neither could I get any advantage
by it, seeing others of the Church did
the like, in whom it was not lookt upon as an
evill. I might say more, but that I am unwilling
to rake in the ashes of the dead.

3ly, I gave Mr. Stucley a Reason why I spake
against her at the first, (which he himselfe mentions
pag. 43. in the 4th. particular of Contention)
not to have her kept off, but that she
might acknowledge her sin in breaking the law
of Charity &c.

4ly, That I did speak for her admission, Mr.
Stucley
himselfe witnessed it to Mr. Eveleigh
in his own house, and also another of their
members E.B. hath (as she told me) declared
unto them that it was I who prevailed with her
to consent unto the admission of Mris Dorothie
Eveleigh
.

Instance 3. She denied that she ever called
the Presbyterian Churches by the name of Babylon,
whereas most of the Church witnessed
that she had often so called them.

Resol: E5v 64

Resol. What I answered Mr. Stucley when
he did in a manner reprove me for acknowledging
that to be a true Church, which formerly
I had called Babylon, appeares in the Narrative.
To which I shall farther adde

1 Suppose it were true, that I had in the
heat of Contention at our first separation vented
some rash and inconsiderate expressions in reference
to the Presbyterian Churches, or the
Presbyterians themselves, yet it ill becomes
Mr. Stucley and the rest to be my accusers,
who continue in the same practice; in judging
me for this, they do but condemne themselves,
according to that of the Apostle INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Rom. 2. 1.
Why do they censure me now for this, seeing
I am not guilty of it at present? why did not
they admonish me for it formerly, when I was
with them?

2 Would they even now be so faithfull
unto me, as to name any particular time, place,
or other circumstance that might bring such
expressions to my remembrance, they should
find me as ready to condemne my selfe, as they
are to accuse me, if done in an orderly manner.

(3ly) It may be that which occasioned this report,
was my mentioning of Babylons brats, at
the time when I spake my Experiences.

I did then declare how hard it was for me to
Separate from those who were godly, and whose
ministry had bin so profitable unto me: But when E6r 65
when I considered the command of god, “Touch
noe uncleane thing, and I will receive you”
. &c.
I conceived it did sufficiently warrant our Seperating
from them: And farther I declared that
there were many litle ones, Babylonish Brats,
which must be dasht against the stones, which
(I then told them) I did understand of things,
not persons. But they, many of them, being
newly crept into a forme of godlines, were so ignorant
of that distinction, as what I spake of
things, they interpreted of persons; which was
so farr from my thoughts, as that when I began
to read the Booke Intituled, (one blowe more to
Babylon
.) I lay’d it aside, as not being able to
Close with the Author thereof, because of his
many Reflections therein, though (as they all
know) I had a high esteme of him, and did not
use to slight him.

(4ly) When I did at any time afterward name
Babylon, I never meant it but of Babylon in the
Mystery, consisting either in the joyning of
mens Inventions with Christs institutions; or
in pressing of things indifferent upōon the conscience,
as necessary; or in the setting up of mixtures
in the Ordinances of Christ, So far as I apprehended
any of these, I did declare against
them: And for these very things doe I now declare
against that Congregation from which I
have departed, which I little thought at first
would have bin found amongst them.

Instance E6v 66

Instance. 4. She denied that ever she endeavoured
to have Mr Stoneham pastor, and under
her owne hand were these words, “I never
laboured to bring him to that office”
; whereas the
contrary was witnessed by three persons.

Resolut. What I affirmed in my letter I believed
to be truth, neither have I reason to think
the contrary: if it were as Mr Stucley sayth,
More then three would have been able to witnesse
it: ’tis true, he being an ancient non conformist,
and very sensible of the evils under which
the Church of God did formerly groane, I had a
good esteeme of him; but that I laboured to
have him Pastor, will never (I believe) be clearly
proved, yea two or three of the chiefest of
them, did witnesse in the meeting, that they
never heard mee speake for him.

Instance 5. She affirmed that she never profitted
by Mr Stonehams preachings, and never
approved his Ministry, the contrary hereunto
was witnessed by three persons.

Resol. What I affirmed concerning Mr Stoneham
was in a letter in these words, (viz.) “As
for M. Stonehams preachings, I have had little
benefit by it, but I have imputed it to my owne
dulnesse in hearing, and did hope that when I was
better acquainted with his method in teaching I
should profit more by it:”
they that witnesse other
then this witnesse a lie.

Instance 6. Shee denyeth in a letter, That shee E7r 67
shee suspected those that had Kindred and Relations
among the Presbyterians, whereas many
witnessed the contrary.

Resol. 1. If the contrary were true, then I
must have suspected my selfe having Kindred
and acquaintance that were Presbyterians, with
whōom I had daily societie, & intimate communion,
and whom I did highly honour, for the image
of God shining in them; though our judgments
differed.

2ly. Let them shew me the persons whom I
suspected, and I will shew other grounds of my
suspicion.

3ly. They themselves questioned me for my
affections to those of different judgements, even
Presbyterians, and therefore I cannot but
wonder, that they should dare to charge mee
with this.

This may (I hope) suffice with all judicious
and impartiall Readers, for the wiping off that
filth, which they flung after mee at my leaving
them, in reference to lying, one of those three
generalls to which he reduced the ground of
my Suspension; the other two are contentiousnesse,
and censoriousnesse, so he is pleased to miscall,
Love and Faithfulnesse.

Contention. The first of these (Contention)
he saith, pag. 41. in his Answer to Mr Toby Allen,
was proved by many witnesses in six particulars.

Ans. E7v 68

Ans. As to this I answer, that I was
cleared by the whole Church of this Impeachment,
(as in my narrative) which all of them
can witnesse if they will; since that time none
of them ever undertook to prove it to my
face.

I was so far from delighting in Contention, as
that I complained of it to Mr. Stucley severall
times, and also in a letter I told him plainly,
that I was not able to live in the fire of Contention,
nor sit down under a ministry that I could
not profit by, and therefore I should willingly
withdraw from them; which I did accordingly
for this and other reasons, & therefore he hath
little reason to accuse me of Contention. But
he saith it was proved in these particulars.

Instance 1. In very many, if not in most of
those debates which have been in the Church
since our first coming together, she hath been
usually silent, untill the Church have been ready
to come to some determination, or had determined,
and then she would object against
what she perceived was the Judgment of the
Church, and pursued it with much violence.
This the generality of the then Church witnessed.

Sol. 1. Was I silent till the last? why may
not Elihu’s Apologie be mine? INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Job. 32. 4,
5, 10, 11, 12
.

2 My Assent was required to their determinations,minations, E8r 69
and therefore it was very fit I should
know what ground there was for them; especially
considering that the “then Church-members,”
the generality of them were novices in
Christianity, and very weak in the first principles;
so unacquainted with the Rule, as that
they knew not how to behave themselves in
the Church of God, knew not how to direct either
themselves or others, in matters of faith
or order, without instructions from abroad;
yea we were then in a bewildred condition,
without officers and some of the ordinances,
and professed our selves to be a people that
had lost our way, and that were seekers of the
way to Syon.

3 As for my pursuing it with “much violence,”
I know not what he meanes, unlesse it
be that I refused to be satisfied with their determinations,
when they gave me no sufficient
ground for them.

Instance 2. Secondly, when it was moved
in the Church to this effect, That it was very
necessary to have respect in our admission of
Church members to union in Judgment, (at
least in all the ordinances of Christ) that peace
and love in the Church might be preserved;
she did eagerly contend against this motion,
and occasioned long and sad disputes between
the “Church and her selfe”, especially concerning
singing of Psalmes, the practice of which she absolutely E8v 70
absolutely denied, and declared “That praises
and thanksgivings unto God in prayer were only
that singing which the Scripture requireth”
. This
also the generality of the then Church members
did witnesse.

Sol. 1. Mr. Stucley was not present at
this meeting.

2. Those who made this motion were
some of them very weak and erronious in their
Judgment.

3. When this motion was made, we
were without some of the ordinances, and so
continued for some yeares after this, And they
who made this motion were of a very indifferent
Spirit
, as to the procureing them, untill they
had setled themselves in publique offices. This
was such a burden unto mee, as that I was very
much dissatisfied; when as they (who needed
some to enforme their Judgments) who made
so litle Reckoning of the ordinances, should yet
be so forward after union in Judgment: I conceived
the worke we had to doe, was to free our
selves from that Confusion in which we were, by
getting officers and ordinances.

4. As to Singing of Psalmes, It’s true, I did
at that time question it, which doth administer
matter of daily humiliation unto me, to consider
and remember the darknes of my minde, that
hath and continually doth, cause mee to wander
from the way of the lord to the right hand and to F1r 6971
to the left; But yet Mr Stucley hath litle Reason
to Charge me with it, for,

1. He was the first that unsetled mee as to
this practise, by Speaking against it himselfe, &

2. Some of his members have spoken more
slightingly of this ordinance then ever I did, in
affirming that one who was possessed of the divell
would singe Psalmes, that they who sunge
Psalmes, sunge lyes &c.

3. The generality of the People that were
for seperation every where Scrupled Singing,
as to the matter, manner, place or time: So
that it was a vaine thing as such a time to Expect
union as to this ordinance, much more to
presse it so eagerly, as to make it a necessary
qualification of Church member ship, when
as the Apostle sayth, “Him that is weake in the
faith receive you, but not to doubtfull disputations”
:
whereupon I did oppose, not union, so much
as the pride and irregularity of three members,

Mr Owen, and John Whitehorne (then servant
to Mr Mayne) who tooke upon them to deny
Admission unto two persons who proposed
themselves, because they differed in judgment
about the Circumstance of this ordinance, and
that before it was debated by the Church (consisting
at that time onely of eight or nine persons)
when as admitting or refusing of persons
was then accounted a Church act, that which was
to be debated by the whole. These persons did F affe- F1v 7172
affectionately declare, that they were in the
darke about the manner of singing, not knowing
whether it were a praising of God in a musicall
tune, or praising of him in prayer: one of
them being asked, whether shee looked on singing
of Psalmes
as an ordinance of God, shee answered,
that she lookt on praising of God, as an
ordinance of God, and as for singing, as not used,
she could not say but it might be an ordinance
of God, however it was doubtfull to her:
This person was afterwards received into the
Church, and hath attested this under her owne
hand; so that its evident, these words were spoken
by others, and if I did afterwards speake
them, it was on the behalfe of those persons
whose judgement I spake, more then mine own.
And farther, the desire I had to be informed
concerning it, put mee upon objecting many
things against it, especially when Mr Stucley
was present: for this cause also was I very earnest
with them to procure an able Minister, as
all the then Church can witnesse.

Instance 3. Thirdly, she hath opposed severall
persons in their Admission, who have beene
knowne to be of approved godlinesse and integrity;
and those who have beene most lyable
to Exception, she hath most contended for, insomuch
that the Church, having respited the admission
of a person concerning whose conversation
they were not sufficiently satisfied; she did F2r 7073
did openly declare against it, in these words,
That it was an “unrighteous sentence”: this particular
was witnessed by foure persons.

Resol. As to the former part of the Accusation,
my opposing persons (reputed godly) in
their admissions, I answer,

1. They themselves have done the same, as
appeares in my answer to the Accusation immediately
preceding this: They denyed admission
to two persons, esteemed godly, because
they scrupled Singing, and for their unwillingnesse
to speake their Experiences in a publique
meeting.

2. I never opposed any for their godlinesse,
and as for any who were esteemed godly, I never
opposed them alone, without other members,
why am I therefore more Contentious
then they?

3. They were not all godly whom I opposed,
as is evident in Ganicle, who after his Admission
(which I withstood) turned Quaker.

As to the second part of the Accusation, my
contending for those who were most lyable
to exception, I answer. The persons I contended
for are now many of thēem Church-members,
and such (I conceive) as Mr Stucley, and the rest,
do not now looke upon as lyable to exception.

As for the person concerning whom I used
those words, that it was an “unrighteous sentence,”
it was A.P. one generally accounted F2 godly, F2v 7274
godly, yea Mr Stucley himselfe hath given this
Testimony of her often, that she would oppose
Sin where ever she found it, that shee would
not feare to Reprove it, where ever she came,
shee being in fellowship with us from the first
beginning, did at length propose her selfe to be
admitted a Church-member, but this was denied
her, because of her unwillingnesse to declare her
Experiences in a publique meeting, this was
the onely reason (that ever I heard) why she
was then kept off.

Afterwards, when the Admission of members
began to be in private, she proposed her
selfe againe, but was refused the second time,
because that some had a prejudice against her,
for which (as I conceived) they had little reason,
the things whereof she was accused were
triviall, neither were they sufficiently proved,
yea Mr Stucley himselfe cleared her, as to some
one of the particulars: and although she was in
societie with us for some yeares, yet she was not
permitted to speake for her selfe: Her companion
also, a Church-member, who lived continually
with her by reason of her many weaknesses,
was ready to answer for her, but it would not
be permitted.

After this meeting was dismist, I desired
M. Stucley that I might not be present at such
debates, for I lookt on this as an unrighteous
judgement
, of which he seemed then to take no great F3r 7375
great notice: if he were offended at that expression,
why did he not presently examine what
ground I had for it? why did hee not convince
me of the Equity of their proceedings? which
untill it be done, I cannot but looke on it to this
day as an unrighteous sentence, such a sentence as
they have cause to be humbled for. It is not unknowne
to those, who were acquainted with
her, how that she was a person that had beene
under great Terrours of minde, and affliction of
spirit
, even from her youth, that she walked
very sadly continually, partly by reason of the
weaknesse of her body, and partly by reason
of those temptations, with which her whole
life was accōompanied. so that it is not to be wondred
at, if she were troubled at her being twice
refused admission, by those whom she did so
highly honour; and that she was so exceedingly
troubled at it, appeares by what she said to mee
two daies before her death, which was within
few dayes after they had denyed to admit
her, she then told mee that their “cruell dealing”
was the cause of her death. And when shee was told
that death could not come till his commission
was sealed by him who had the keyes of hell
and death; she answered, shee knew that very
well, but yet they were the instruments which
had effected it: shee desired mee likewise to tell
them of their pride and cruelty, and to beware of F3 them F3v 7576
them; she likewise grieved very much that Mr
Stucley
came not unto her when she sent for him
in her sicknesse: however she testified her love
unto the Church and him, by leaving them both
Legacies: the morning after she dyed Mr R. (as
I heard) came to the house, and did with teares
in his eyes, tell her companion to this effect,
that he and his wife had blessed God solemnly
for that they had no hand in this censure. Mr
Stucley
himselfe honoured her so farre after shee
was dead, as to preach her funerall Sermon: by
all which it appeares how little reason hee hath
to charge mee with being dissatisfied with their
censuring her, and calling it an “unrighteous sentence,”
when as others besides my selfe did not
looke on it as righteous.

Instance 4. Shee opposed the Admission of D.
E.
for her Joyning with the Presbyterians in the
ordinance of the lords Supper, & insisted upon
it with much Earnestnes, shee then declareing
that shee could not be satisfied otherwise, then
by her acknowledging it to be her Sin in breaking
the law of Charity: This was witnessed by
Seaven persons.

Solution. This cannot prove me Contentious,
any more then the generality of them, who
have acknowledged that they did speak against
her; and some of them told me, that whereas
I had one thing against her, they had twenty:
yea Mr. Stucley himselfe was so dissatisfied with her F4r 7477
her, as that he took advice with another minister
about her; but I remember the law of Charity
to the dead, and therefore forbear to adde
any more, but refer the Reader to my Narrative,
where she is brought in as a witnesse
against me for lying, as she is here to prove me
contentious. Surely if Mr. Eveleigh did ever
love her whiles she lived, the best testimony he
can give of it will be by letting her alone, to
rest quietly in her grave, and not urge me any
more to publish that, which the law of Charity
requires to be concealed.

Instance 5. She caused a great deale of disturbance
amongst us after the Officers were
chosen, in pressing with much earnestnesse that
Mr. Stoneham might be chosen Pastor: this
was witnessed by three persons.

Resol. I know not what he meanes by “disturbance,”
nor who was “disturbed”, neither have
I any ground to believe that I caused the least
“disturbance” to any, as to this particular. If I had
caused such a great deale of disturbance amongst
them, it might have been witnessed by more
than three witnesses. And as for Mr. Stoneham
I wonder they should alleadge him as an Instance
of my Contentiousnesse now he is absent,
who when he was present in the name of
the Church pronounced me innocent, as to
this very impeachment, after he was Officer.

Inst. 6. She did a long time contend for “womensF4 mens F4v 7678
speaking in the Church”
; and being admonished
shed
for practising accordingly, she did openly
professe that she would not be present at
Church meetings when matters were debated,
unlesse she might have that liberty, and being
denied, she ever since contemptuously neglected
Church meetings, and slighted the officers
of the Church.

In pag. 20 of Mr. Mall’s book, he laies
down the charge in these words. “She took liberty
of speaking in the Church for some time, and
being reproved by me for it, from time to time
there was a visible decay of affection to me &c.”

Solut. That it is false, as to the whole
charge taken together, appeares, in that there
are none (as in the former particulars) mentioned
who did witnesse it, neither will he ever
find any (unlesse they be desperately hardned)
that dare affirme it, which I shall make evident
in my Answers to the severall particulars thereof.

As to the first particular (viz.) she took the
the liberty of speaking, and she did a long time
contend for womens speaking &c.

To this I answer,

1. As for womens speaking it was usually
practised amongst us by the rest of my Sex.
And it is well known that the power was pretended
at first to be in the body of the people,
in the multitude, so that every one had the libertyberty F5r 7779
of assenting or dissenting, of arguing and
debating any matter proposed, whether men or
women. If women were denied the liberty of
speaking, how could they declare their Experiences:
yea A. P. was kept off for refusing
this.

2. It is false that I took the “liberty of speaking,”
it was not only given me, but the liberty
of being silent was denied me, and that by Mr.
Stucley
himselfe, who would send for me at the
meetings, even then when there was never a
woman of the Church but my selfe: and afterwards
many times he would single me out in
the meetings, and urge me very earnestly to
declare my Judgment in reference to what had
been proposed.

3. As to my contending for womens speaking,
by my former Answers it appeares, that
Mr Stucley hath little reason to charge me
with it, unlesse he expected that I should be as
fickle as himselfe, in taking up, and laying
down opinions and practises, as they suited with,
or thwarted his humour and interest.

As to the second particular, whereas he saith
he “admonished” and “reproved” me for it from
time to time, I answer,

That all the Admonition and Reproofe I had
from him, was that mentioned in my Narrative,
viz: that my speaking was disrelishd by
some, whereupon I resolved Silence for the future, F5v 7980
future, although I had looked on the Contrary
as my duty formerly; which resolution I accordinglie
kept alwaies after the Officers were
chosen, unlesse it were when I was required to
give in my thoughts concerning a person, proposed
or asked a question; yea Mr. Stucley
witnesseth for me in the charge it selfe, where
he saith, it was a long time that I contended
for womens speaking, and in Mr Mall’s book for
some time &c. By which it is evident that I
did not continue in the practise thereof to the
last: how can then my speaking be brought as
an Instance to prove me contentious (one ground
of their Suspension) neer three yeares after I had
left of this practise.

As for what he saith followed on his Reproving
and admonishing me, viz. 1 A decay of
Affection to him.

I answer, if there were such a visible decay
of affection, he mistook the cause of it. It was
not his reproving of me, no, the reproof was so
mild and gentle, and at such a distance, as that
I had litle reason to be angry with him for it.
But it was his selfe-seeking, and minding his
own things more then the things of Christ &c.
against which I did declare my dislike both
before and after this reproof and admonition.

As to what he saies, “that after their denying
me the libertie of speaking, I contemptuously neglected
Church meetings, and slighted the officers.”

I F6r 7881

I answer that it is a grosse lye, a lye so egregious,
as that the whole church can witnesse (if
they please) against it.

For I was after this constantly at church meetings,
the liberty of speaking by a Brother being
allowed me; yea I declared that I was very
much dissatisfied, because the meetings (after
the Officers were chosen) for conferring one
with another, were not continued as formerly,
I never absented my selfe, but upon some necessary
hindrance, which was not often.

As for slighting of the Officers”――

I answer, that I gave them so much honour
as was due unto them according to my power;
if they had not so much as they desired, let
them consider whether they did not desire
more then they deserved. “They that rule well,
are worthy of double honour.”

3d Charge. The Censoriousness of her Spirit was
evidēenced in her “uncharitable language” cōoncerning
the Presbyterians, and us also: reporting one
to be “fallen from the faith”, another to have
“nothing of God in her”; charging Mr. Stoneham to
have walked contrary to the “Apostles counsell”,
INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.2 Cor. 4. 2. And to have such expressions in
preaching and prayer, as were but as chaffe to
the wheat. And imputing the afflictions of
some of the church to their unworthy receiving
of the Lords body. These were proved by
many witnesses, and her own letters.

Ans. F6v 8082

Ans. As to the first Article, which concernes
the Presbyterians, I answer, I must acknowledge
& confesse, that difference in judgement
did likewise cause some breach in affection,
that I was too much swayed with a spirit of
separation
, which made mee prone to censure
those who differed from mee in judgment more
then was fit, which I have cause to bewaile
and lament. But yet I cannot but wonder that
Mr Stucley should be so farre blinded with passion,
as to censure mee for this, when it is well
knowne that neither himselfe, nor any of his
Congregation, are in a capacity to fling so much
as one stone at mee upon this account. It
is now the fifth time hee hath mentioned the
Presbyterians in his threefold Accusation; for
what reason, though he himselfe knowes best,
yet others cannot be ignorant of, and as for
the hope he puts in this, I believe it will prove
but a Spiders web. I shall onely adde this, That
if my Tongue were against the Presbyterians, so
would my hand likewise, had I harkened to Mr
Stucley
.

As to my “uncharitable language” concerning
themselves, he doth instance in severall particulars,
which I shall answer in that order he layes
them downe, having desired him in the generall
to consider those reproachfull, bitter, unchristian
Raylings against Mris Allen and my selfe,
wherewith both his Pamphlets are full, and see whether F7r 8183
whether they doe not farre exceed all the hard
speeches I have given of them.

As for the particulars they are (viz.) 1. My
reporting one to be “fallen from the faith”.

Resol. I do not remember that ever I used
such an expression in reference to any of them,
as (“fallen from the faith”.) There was (its true)
one, concerning whom, when they were about
to choose him to be an Officer, I said, that I did
feare he was not sound in the faith”, for which I
had good ground, neither did I hereby intend to
reproach that person, but to prevent the evill
that might follow, in case one not sound in the
faith were chosen an Officer.

2ly. That another had nothing of God in her.

Resol. I never heard the least hint from them
of any such expression, neither do I remember
that I ever used it concerning any among them.
If it be that person which I admonished, that is
meant by Mr Stucley, as I have some ground to
conjecture, for I cannot conceive who it should
be else. Then I say that it is a grosse mistake, if
no worse, to affirme that I reported, that shee
had nothing of God in her.

Shee was a person that pretended to a great
deale of Assurance, whereupon I was willing to
have some conference with her, to know if shee
had any ground for such an assurance. To this I
was the more willing, because a member of the
Church did somewhat question it, who desired me F7v 8384
me to try whether it were so or no, which I did:
in my discourse I told her, that they who had
this assurance knew how they came by it, that
where there is assurance, there is likewise adherence,
a closing with the promises, the workings
whereof will be evident to that soul which hath
attained it, that therefore she should do well to
look to the ground of her confidence, and be sure
that she had Scripture for it. What her answers
were I shall not here mention; but it seemes she
did not like this my plaine and faithfull dealing
with her, as appeares by her complaining of it
to some, who hereupon have now accused mee
for being so censorious as to affirme that she had
nothing of God in her, which is false; yea, I was
so unwilling to dishearten her, as that I told her,
that grace was in the “hidden man of the heart”, and
not discernable many times where it is, though
assurance hath alwayes its evidence. Had I
knowne that they had been offended with me
for this, I should have given them a full Account
of what passed between us, whereby they
would have knowne the truth of what was
reported concerning her: this had beene farre
better then to accuse mee for it so many yeares
after.

3. As to that of Mr. Stoneham &c.

Resol. I must confesse that when Mr Stoneham
refused to declare the End of that fast
mentioned in my Narrative, I did look upon it F8r 8285
it as walking in Craftinesse, contrary to that of
the Apostle, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.2 Cor. 4. 2.

And as to his Expressions in preaching &c.
I conceived Mr. Stucley the fittest to admonish
him of his weaknesse; and therefore in a letter,
I wrot unto him these following words. “I
shall intreat you to speak to Mr. Stoneham of
those Expressions he doth often use to expresse
spirituall things by; the word (I conceive) is
fittest to expresse spirituall mysteries and duties:’
I am sure that is the sword of the Spirit’,
and ‘that is able to make the man of God perfect,
throughly furnished to all good works. The more
wise the preacher was, the more he sought to teach
the people wisdome, and to find out acceptable
words, words of wisdome, that are as nailes and
goads fastned by the master of the Assembly’
: I
must confesse I cannot close with his Expressions
which are usuall and ordinary both in
prayer and preaching, which is as the Chaffe to
the wheate; and what is the chaffe to the wheat?
I should speak to him my selfe, but I fear he
will not hear it from me.”

The ground on which I went, was that of
the Apostle: say to Archippus, take heed to thy
ministry that thou fulfill it”
. Would it have been
an ingenuous returne of Archippus to censure,
suspend, or excommunicate a person for giving
him such an admonition? let Mr. Stucley judge.

Lastly, concerning my imputing the afflictionon F8v 8486
of some of the church to their unworthy receiving
&c.

Resol. For answer hereunto, I shall here
set down what I wrote in the same letter concerning
it, viz.

“It is and hath been a great trouble to me,
that there is no meanes of instructing by Catechising,
which is like, in my apprehension, to
put a stop in the way of the Gospell. And I conceive
the ordinance of the Lords supper cannot
be kept pure, without instructing those that
are of the Church, younger ones especially, in
the mystery of discerning the Lords body: for
this many are weake and sick, the Apostle laies
it down as a Cause of that sicknesse and death
that was amongst them. For my part it is my
feare that the Lord hath a controversie with us
for not discerning the Lords body, and not
judging our selves. Surely the Lords hand that
is upon us, and those afflictions that have been
upon me, hath put me upon serious enquiry
after the Lord in his word; and I am afraid we
do not walk up to our own principles, and keep
the ordinances pure.”

Behold Mr. Stucley’s discretion and ingenuity
in censuring me for censuring my selfe,
which I did in that letter as well as others. I did
impute the afflictions on my selfe and them,
either to the omitting of the administration of
the Lords supper for a long time, without giving any G1r 8587
any reason; or to our not discerning the Lords
body
, which I was perswaded that many
amongst us by reason of their ignorance could
not do, I did verily think that the Lord was
angry with us for this. I was so sensible of
Gods afflicting hand, as that I could not but
discover my fear unto Mr. Stucley, that he
might set upon reforming what was amisse, for
I thought I had herein to do with Christians,
and not with Scorners: it was the least of my
thoughts, that ever I should be censured for it.

Having finished his threefold charge, he
proceeds to adde somewhat concerning my
“contumacious refusall of admonition” in pag. 45.
of his Answer to Mr. Toby Allen, in these
words: “I might tell thee I have severall times
endeavoured to convince her of her sin, yet I doe
not remember that ever she acknowledged her
selfe guilty, and that severall persons that were
sent to her (or that went voluntarily) about
the worke of admonition, came away from her
with a burdned spirit. But I shall referre thee to
20 & 21 pag: of my Sermon in the true Account”

&c.

Here he tells the world that I refused admonition,
first from himselfe, secondly from others,
and then refers the Reader for farther Satisfaction
to the “true Account”, &c.

1 As to his admonition he saith, “I might tell
thee I have severall times”
&c.

G Resol. G1v 8688

Resol, You cannot tell this without telling
a lye
, for I was never admonished by you for
any sin that I continued in after admonition,
either before my leaveing you or since.

Not before. This you acknowledged to me
when I asked, whether you had ever admonished
me, you told me you had not: this you
confessed to Mr. Ford and Mr. Bartlett.

Not since. For I could never speak with
you, after you had accused me of lying.

Its true you admonished me for hearing another
minister; but that this is a sin, you dare
not (it seems) affirme or maintaine: for it is not
so much as named among those Crimes laid to
my charge either in the true account, or in your
Answer to Mr. Toby Allen. And therefore
what reason is there that I should acknowledge
my selfe guilty?

2 As to the Second (viz.) that severall persons
that were sent unto her &c. came away
with “burdened Spirits”.

Resol. The errand they came about was
not to admonish me for lying &c. But partly
to take me off from hearing other ministers,
and since I left them to perswade me back
again: it was my not consenting unto them in
this, that made them go away with a “burthen’d
spirit”
, and not because of my “proud and loftie
Carriage”
(as he saith pag. 20 True Acc:) for I
alwaies treated with them Civilly, returning them G2r 8789
them thanks severall times for their (pretended
love) to me; I never baulkt discourse with
them. And alwaies at their departing, said, let
me be convinced from the word what my duty
is, and I shall submit.

I desired the Elder before the fast in order
to their Excommunication, and since that fast
others also, that they would bring the businesse
to a new Triall before the ministers, whom
they themselves had acquainted with it formerly,
and with whom I was then in Communion:
had the Incestuous person done so, I am perswaded
he would never have been delivered
to Satan.

The letter likewise sent Mr. Stucley by Mris.
Allen
and my selfe makes it evident, that
neither of us contemptuously refused admonition
according to the rule of Christ.

3 As for his referring the reader to pag.
20. 21. of the true Account, as if there were
other Crimes mentioned there, for brevities
sake he omitted here, I say.

That in pag. 20 of the True (which yet some
think to be a very defective) Account, there is
only one Crime mentioned, which he hath not
accused me of here in this other Book, and that
is my unfaithfulnesse in not reproving privately.

Charge. “I am confident” (saith he) “that
there is scarce one Brother or Sister that can
bear witnesse of her faithfulnesse in Reproving G2private- G2v 8890
privately
, though she so much Blazon’d abroad
supposed or reall infirmities”
, &c.

Resol. 1, I am Confident that some can (if
they will not “hold the truth in unrighteousnesse”)
bear witnesse of my faithfulnesse in reproving
them privately, I reproved Mr. Raddon and
his wife, Mr Eveleighs maide, yea Mr. Eveleigh
himselfe, both privately, and publickly when
his offence was publick, according to that of
the Apost. INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.1 Tim. 5. 20. And if none of these
will witnesse, yet Mr Stucley himselfe can, if he
call himselfe to mind, he can bear me witnesse,
that I reproved him for his “indifferency of Spirit”
in the worke of God, for his preaching funerall
Sermons
, for his “Serpentine subtilty” in his
Entrance on his Office, and in reference to his
Carriage in Mr. Madder’s businesse, yea he
hath witnessed that I reproved him for the “unrighteous
sentence”
in reference to A.P.

2 As for Blazoning abroad their supposed
or reall infirmities, I know not what he meanes,
or of what thing he speaks it, whether whiles
I was with them, or since I left them.

If he mean thereby that when I was among
them, I did discover the nakednesse of a Brother
or Sister to others who were not in Communion
with us, I say it is false, and dare him to instance
so much as in one particular.

If by abroad, he meane others of the Society,
I acknowledge it. But then it was to such as by G3r 8991
by reason of their intimacy and familiarity
with the offendors might in all probability
prevaile, more with them then I could.
And for this very reason did I several times addresse
my selfe to Mr. Stucley, which he acknowledgeth
a litle before this charge, though,
through Envy, he call it an Impeachment and
accuse me for it, though I had the house of Cloe
for my Example.

Lastly, If (By “abroad”) he meane that I have
divulged their miscarriages to others since I left
them, To this I answer.

That even since my leaveing them, It was
my desire to continue a good opinion of many
among them: So unwilling was I to make
knowen that which might blemish any of them,
As that I suffered in mine owne name, by concealing
their miscarriages, untill such time as it
was noised abroad, that I had not left them, but
that they had cast me out as a lyer, a contentious
and a troublesome person, whom they could no
longer Suffer, nor have communion with: Then
indeed I did begin to pull off their masking robes
and vizards, as Mr Stucley expresseth it in the
true Account, that so it might appeare to the
world, how unlikely it was, that such (as many
of them were) should cast off any up on the Account
of lying. Againe,

Charge. In pag. 21. He brings in a passionate
expression
of mine in these words, And being farther G3v 9092
farther pressed to heare the Church, she refused,
and (if my memory faile not) she said, “She would
be drawn asunder by wild horses rather then come
among us”
.

Resol. I confesse the expression, whether there
were not cause for it, let others judge, they having
dealt so basely with mee as to accuse me of
lying, when I went unto them a little before to
give them a reason why I left them. “A burnd
child”
(we say) “dreads the fire”: I had been burnd
once by adventuring singly among them, therefore
I durst not do it againe the second time. So
that Mr Stucley needed not here to insert this
parenthesis (if my memory faile me not) it would
have done better in all the other Articles of his
accusation, in which, if his memory did not faile
him, he will never be able to free himselfe from
that, for which he pretends he hath Excommunicated
mee.

But that I did not refuse to heare the Church,
the severall answers I gave to the messengers
sent me can witnesse. Besides, when M. Eveleigh
came to acquaint mee with the Fast, in order to
Excōommunication. I desired that the businesse my
might be referred to Mr Forde, and Mr Bartlet,
who had formerly heard it: and after the Fast
I told two other of their members, that they
should bring it to a new tryall before the Ministers
of Exeter with whom I was in Communion,
promising to stand to their determination.

The G4r 9193

The letter likewise Mris Allen and my selfe
sent the Church, doth witnesse sufficiently, that
neither of us refused to heare the Church.

Unto this Charge he addes that of separation.

Charge. And though shee had lifted up her
right hand to heaven to heaven walk in fellowship with
us, yet hath she separated from us, and to this
day sought not reconciliation, neither hath shee
expressed Repentance for her Sinne, &c.

Resol. This is likewise confest and acknowledged
that I Seperated from them, The grounds
of my Separation are layed downe in my narrative.
To which I shall farther adde.

1. That there was a clause in our first Engagement
binding every one of us not to rest in
the light then received, but to Studie to knowe
the minde of God, and live up to it, and so accordingly
haveing Studied the minde of God,
concerning our separation from other Churches
of Christ, I founde it to be Sinfull, and therefore
durst no longer to continue therein.

2. If I engaged so to walke in fellowship
with you as to deny it to others of Gods people,
of which there are many (I hope) in this Citty,
I am Sorry for it, and to shew my Repentance I
have reformed, by leaveing your Society. in
which I could not continue without the guilt
of Sin, If a man should promise, yea Sweare
to that, which is Sin he had better to break
then to keepe his oath.

Yea G4v 9294

yYea we were likewise engaged to hold communion
with other Churches of Christ; But this is
now denyed, unlesse it be with those that are
Congregationall.

As for what he addes concerning my not expressing
repentance for my sin: &c.

Resol. I shall answer with INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Job: c. 27. “God forbid
that I should justify you”
(by confessing that which
I am not guilty of) “till I die, I will not remove my
integrity from me. My righteousnesse”
(as to your
impeachment) “I hold fast, and will not let it goe:
my heart shall not reproach me”
(for basely submitting
to any thing against my conscience)
so long as I live”.

In pag. 23. He speaks of my undervaluing,
Excommunication & slighting it, in these words
(viz.)

The other (meaning me) as little valued this
“Institution of Christ” for (as I am informed) she
said, “Excommunication was but as the breaking of
a horse over the hedge”
, &c.

Resol. I have been heretofore, and am at
present so far from slighting excommunication
rightly administred, as that it makes me tremble
to behold my selfe accused thereof, as if
I slighted the ordinance it selfe: I look on it as
an ordinance of Jesus Christ, as that Sword
which he hath given his Church for the cutting
off contagious members, as that, which he hath
appointed and ordained to as high an end (for ought G5r 9395
ought I know) as any other ordinance, (viz) “the
destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved
in the day of the Lord Jesus”
.

And as for the slighting expression” concerning
this ordinance, with which he chargeth me.

I say it is a notorious slander, as he hath laid
it down, the truth is, that to some, who spake
about excommunication I told them how it had
been formerly abused in this nation by many
who (as it was reported) would excommunicate
for such a Trespasse, as a horse to break over a
hedge; and farther added, that I valued an unjust
excommunication no more then I did that: and
because I look on Mr Stucleys late excommunication
as such, therefore do I set light by it: as
Luther did by the Popes bull, for which he was
never charged by any Protestant: in doing of
which I am no more to be condemned for slighting
this ordinance in generall then he. It will
be found upon triall that Mr Stucley hath a
farre lower esteeme of this ordinance, then my
selfe, otherwise he would never have so abused
it as he hath, for the promoting his own interest
and carnall designes, which is the ready way to
make it contemptible, in the Judgment and opinion
of those who are not well acquainted
with it.

Thus I have done with the true account, and
now returne to what he saith farther concerning
me in his answer to Mr Toby Allen: pag. 45. Her G5v 9496
“Her Crimes and contumacy being very great: the
Church thought themselves obliged to suspend her
from Communion before ever she joyned in the
Sacrament with any other”
.

Resol. That this Suspension was for no other
crimes or contumacy, then my leaving them, and
my refuseing to returne unto them: And therefore
it was not thought sufficient to debarre me
from communion with others of Gods people in
this City, by those who heard the whole businesse,
and throughly examined the Circumstances
there of.

Char. In the next place he chargeth Mr Allen
with a lye, for affirming. That the Quarrell
between the Church and me began, because
I had a mind to heare some other ministers
which (he saith) is abominably false, and farther,
that this was no particular for which I was
ever admonished by the Church in pag. 45. 46.
And again, he saith, That the Quarrell began
in my “contentious Spirit” and sowing Divisions,
and was increased by lying.

Res. 1 That I was admonished, for hearing other
ministers, by the Church it is manifest by what
is allready set down.

2 That the quarrell did not begin in my
“contentious Spirit”, and sowing divisions; nor
was encreased by lying: it is also apparent, as for
lying, I was never charged with it till I left them:
and as for contention, &c. I never medled with Church G6r 9597
Church affaires after the officers were chosen
unlesse it were once in reference to a person
proposed, when Ganicle interrupted me.

The Qurarell Brake out at a Tuesdayes meeting,
Mr. Stucley was absent from that meeting and
so knowes nothing of it but by the report of others,
it so much concerning mee, I have reason
to know it better then others: The account
whereof according to my best Remembrance
is this.

On the day before, being munday after dynner
Mr. Stonham and his wife came to visit me,
Before I could come to them, my husband, in
discoursing with them sayed, that I had heard
Mr. Ford the day before, when I came into the
Roome, Mr Stonham looked on me with an Angry
countenance
and would scarce Speak, whereupon
I asked his wife what did aile him, who answered
that he was not well pleased with me
for my goeing away to heare, she told me likewise
that he did not like Mr Eveleighs maide,
and farther added, that she heard that I had
somewhat against her, she is (said I) a stranger
unto me, and therefore it is my desire that she
may be kept off one week longer untill I have
informed my selfe concerning her, Then (said
she) do you be present at the meeting to speak
to have her kept off, this she desired with much
earnestnesse.

On the Tuesdaie following after dinner MrSpragueG6v9698
Spraigue
the younger came to me frōom Mr Stoneham
(as he said) who had been with him the day
before, and desired him to take me off from
hearing Mr Ford. To this end (among other
things) he told me, “that those sheep, which had
been used to meane feeding, were not fit for fat
passture, it was the way to bring them to the scab”
:
he likewise spake something about Mr Eveleighs
maid, and earnestly desired me to be at the
meeting. I told him that I then lay under some
trouble of spirit, and so could not be fit for such
an Imployment, however upon his earnest intreaty,
I fitted my selfe to goe.

When I was come, they began (contrarie to
their usuall practice) to talke of the maid, before
ever the Lord had been sought unto in prayer:
Mr Owen, sitting at the table neer me, I willed
him to acquaint them, that it was my desire she
might be kept off a week longer (as I remember)
untill I had informed my selfe concerning
her.

Mr Eveleigh, presently replyed, that he
would give Testimony for her: I told him that a
master or superior was not so fit to give Testimony
for a servant or inferior, and withall instanced
in Gehazi, who carried himselfe fairly in
his masters presence.

After this one Ambrose a shoomaker was proposed,
who (it seemes) wrought with Ganicle,
concerning whom Mr Eveleigh asked me whetherther G7r 9799
I had any thing against him? I answered
that I had nothing, and also that though he
were a stranger unto me, yet I had heard a good
report of him: upon which Ganicle said that I
would take his Testimony for his man, and not
M. Eveleighs for his maid, yea (said Mr Eveleigh)
that is the very thing, because it is my
Testimony, therefore she will not take it, adding
farther that it was scandalous, and that I was offensive
or contentious, and had hindred their
Proceedings for many yeares, insomuch as he
could not partake with me in the Ordinances,
untill he was satisfied.

I replyed, that this would not be borne, and
that if my carriage had bin so offensive, I should
have heard of it, in some other place and in some
other manner: and then I presently appealed to
all the Congregation desiring them to be faithfull
unto me, as they would Answer it another
day, by declaring wherein my carriage had been
offensive, and what evils they had seen in me:
And when I perceived they were unwilling to
meddle in it, I told them plainly, that I would
come no more among them, unless they would
satisfie me herein.

At length Mr Stoneham began his prayer after
this manner: “Lord, we have waited for a prayer,
and now thou hast given us in a prayer, it may
be, the returne of many prayers”
, and then bewailed
“that the serpent was gotten into the garden”: After G7v 98100
After the prayer, Mr. Eveleigh and my selfe
were to withdraw; but Mr Eveleigh (before
he went out) told them, he left it to the Church
to determine, whether I were not contentious.
Two things (said he) I have against her, Contention,
and her going away to hear Mr Ford,
which the Church neither can, nor will bear.
And he farther charged John Whitehorne (the
chiefest then in this businesse) that he should
insist upon Contention, and if he wanted an Instance,
that he should name Agnes Pullen.

When we were withdrawne, the generality
of them said, they did believe I was a good
woman &c. But then they were asked againe,
whether through a mixture of Corruption it
might not tend to Contention? to which this
reply was made, That they did not know but it
might. Mr. Stoneham told me, that they
would not for a world charge me with contention,
but did fear lest through a mixture of Corruption,
it might tend thereunto.

Many of them were offended with the Elders
dealing so disorderly with me, but knew
not how to help it, and desired me to take no
notice of it.

By all which it appeares

1 That they were very much displeased
with me for hearing others besides our own
Officers, though they were unwilling to quarrell
with me openly about it. Mr. Eveleigh (tis G8r 99101
(tis true) accused me thereof at this meeting,
but (as I am informed) some of them did very
much dislike his mentioning of that particular;
and refused to medle with it, because they
thought it fitter to be concealed, then that it
should be publickly taken notice of.

2 That it is very probable they had a resolution
(some of them) to quarrell with me
about Mr. Eveleigh’s maid, in case I could
not be prevailed with to leave off hearing of
other ministers, why else should they be so
earnest with me (after I had given a sufficient
Excuse
for my absence) to be present at the
meeting? why else should Mr. Stoneham use
such expressions in his prayer.

3 That although Mr Eveleigh at this time
(when the Quarrell brake out) accused me of
Contention; yet that the Quarrell did not begin
in my contentious spirit, and sowing divisions,
is apparent. 1 Because I did no more
then Mr Stoneham approved of, and Mris.
Stoneham
desired me to do; so that I could be
no more contentious in opposing Mr. Eveleighs
mayd, then they. 2 This businesse was ended
in three daies; they had nothing after this
against me, but my hearing other ministers,
as Mr. Eveleigh himselfe told me.

4 And therefore notwithstanding the quarrell
brake out at the time, when I opposed Mr.
Eveleigh’s
maid, yet it is very apparent that it began, G8v 100102
began, was continued, carried on, and increased
even to a breach, only for my hearing of another
minister: for as to the charge of lying I
never heard of it till my coming off, as I have
already declared.

In the next place he takes shame to himselfe,
that he did not sooner excite the church to their
duty, as to the last Remedy for the healing of
this woman, &c.

Resol. I believe in the end he will see more
cause to take shame to unto himselfe, in that he
hath so rashly excited them to this censure, before
he ever discharged the duty of admonition.

Let him consider whether he hath not run
before the Lord sent him, let him produce his
warrant to Excommunicate, before ever he
proved the Crime, or admonished me of the
Evills, for which he saies I am Excommunicated.

He addes, that there are some full of evill surmises
about this matter, as if the Church
would never have proceeded against her, but
upon a designe to hinder others from deserting
us.

Resol. It is no surmise, for

1 One of their own Officers (Mr. Slade by
name) talking with an Alderman of this City
about this Excommunication, told him that if
they had proceeded against me sooner, Mris.
Allen
would not have left them.

2 Mr. H1r 101103

2 Mr. Stucley doth not in plain termes deny
it. And though that which follows concerning
the “unquietnesse of his spirit” about my not Repenting
may imply a deniall, yet

3 It is that which he hath in a manner acknowledged
in pag. 10. of the True Account, in
these words, “If we had discharged our duty sooner
on the lyar, we might have prevented the others
fall, her disobedience and perversenesse of spirit”
.

As for that he professeth, he had no quiet
in his Spirit, that a Person should lie so long
suspended, and give no Evidence of Repentance,
but the Contrarie &c.

Resol: The Suspensionwas two moneths
after I had left them; the messenger that was
sent to give me notice thereof sayd it was in
order to my Returne, a Returne to them, this
is the Repentance they expected, and I resolved
against, unlesse (as I told the Elder) I might have
communion with them, and not to separate from
others that were godly.

But what quiet can Mr Stucley have now,
that he hath passed a Sentence of Excommunication
without admonition, seeing I so earnestly
desired it? vwhat comfort can he have in passing
this Censure three yeares wanting a few
daies after I had left them? when as in all probability
by reason of forgetfulnesse, there could
not be a charging of sin, so as to convince and
work a kindly Repentance.

If his conscience had troubled him, because H of H1v 102104
of my lying in Sin, without evidencing Repentance,
then his conscience is either blind or baffled;
else why had not his conscience checkt
him, when he discovered no zeale against lying,
when he was so often prest unto it by me? why
had not his conscience troubled him, when
there was a lye affirmed with so much Confidence
by John Whitehorne, when he offered to
depose it upon Oath, and yet there was clear
Testimony brought by some of their members
to prove it to be a lye? this person is under his
charge, yet here his conscience hath not disquieted
him.

And for what he addes, “That to quiet his conscience
he tooke advice with severall Ministers,
and so concluded the matter by them and his own
Conscience”
.

Resol. 1. Why did he go so farre away? had he
desired to have the truth brought to light, then
why should he refuse to advise with those Ministers
that he himselfe acquainted with the businesse;
and when I so often desired them to
bring it to a new tryall before them, with a promise
to submit unto their determinations, without
expecting any favour from them.

2. How could those Ministers (whoever they
be) perswade him to such a censure, without advising
him to bring the businesse to a Triall,
without hearing both parties speake? will not
Festus rise up in judgement against them? Did
these Ministers in their advice duly weigh the weight H2r 103105
weight of this Ordinance, and the pretiousnesse of
soules for which Christ did Sweat, Bleed and died, for
which hee ever lives to make intercession? Durst they
upon the Report of one partie without Examination,
give such advice in a corner? the Lord lay not this sin
to their charge: ’Tis not the first time that Satan
hath made use of such instruments, Christ saw him
in a Peter &c. I confesse it would have been more easily
borne, if they had been such as have not knowne
the Father, nor the Lord Jesus, that had given this
wicked advice; but that it should come from them,
who have (or at least pretend to) more acquaintance
with Christ
then others, this is as the Vineger and the
Gall.

Charg. p. 47. In the last place hee gives the world a
Catalogue of lying defamations, spoken by mee since
my Suspension.

Resol. As for those “lying defamations”, I answer
briefly: That many of those Reports are no “lying
Defamations”
, but manifest truths, as I have made it
already to appeare in my Narrative and Vindication;
and make no question but shall be able to do the like
of the rest, if called unto it, even as many of them as
he shall prove to proceed from mee, farre better then
Mr Stucley will be able to make good (in a regular
and orderly proceeding) those slanderous reports concerning
mee, with which he hath filled the world, notwithstanding
he boasts so much of witnesses, at the
end almost of every Charge.

And now I suppose the Reader is sufficiently tired
with perusing an unpleasing and broken History, I H2 shall H2v 104106
shall therefore now hasten to an End.

If the Gospell be the great Salvation that is delivered
by Christ himselfe, and the Revelation of it
compleated, and it be once delivered to the Saints,
and no other Revelation to be expected till Christ
come, and this Salvation being so glorious, as that
the Angels desire to look into it, and there being
such a Curse by Christ pronounced on such as
shall adde to it, or take from it, then let it serve as
an Apology for me in my learning of them. This was
that which I did desire and aime at, that I might
be instructed in the mystery of this “great Salvation”,
“God manifest in the flesh” &c. Tis that was in my eye,
and that I still follow after (although I have not yet
attained) “to comprehend with all Saints what is the
bredth, and length, and depth, and heighth, and to know
the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge”
; yet
through grace this was, and is that one thing, that I
may “know Christ and him crucified”, and that I may
with the Apostle INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Phil. 3. 12, 13, 14. “know him, and
the power of his Resurrection, and the fellowship of his
Sufferings, so as to be made conformable to his death,
that I may know this great mystery which hath been hid
from other ages, but is now revealed unto us by the holy
Apostles and Prophets by the Spirit”
, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Eph. 3. 1. Know
him so, as to “bear about in my body the dying of the
Lord Jesus”
; that the life of Jesus may be made manifest
in this mortall flesh, that the “old man may be
Crucified with him, that the body of Sin might be destroyed,
that I might not serve sin”
; This was that which
to the glory of free grace I can say in some measure (if H3r 105107
(if my heart do not deceive me) was my desire in
Joyning with them, and in my withdrawing from
them, I finding not a Sufficiency in their Ministry for
edification and building up; and being disapointed of
my expectation in the ministry, and continuing my
practice of hearing Mr Ford, sometimes once a Lords
day meerly out of necessity, and observing what they
did after they were in office and setled themselves,
in stead of discovering their love and faithfulnesse to
the peoples soules in their diligent circumspection and
watchfulnesse over them, and discovering to them
the hidden mysteries of the Gospell, they were very
remisse, the worke they were imployed in was to
exalt themselves, and bring the people into Subjection
unto them, silenceing some, and censuring others
without allowing them any liberty to clear themselves,
such as they supposed stood in their way, and
when this was effected, then they proceeded farther
to take them off from hearing any other minister,
making that practice of hearing another minister,
when themselves preached, to be a going out of the
Bosome of Christ into the Bosome of Strangers; and
such persons were Traytors and Rebells to Jesus
Christ
, and should be so dealt withall; and what benefit
was received by another minister to be a delulusion
and a Temptation, and a Judgment of God upon
the soule. And ingaging the people at their admission,
to believe it as an Article of their faith, that a greater
blessing was to be expected on their ministry, then
on any others, as if they preached another Jesus, or
another Spirit, or another Gospell: when the ApostleH3 stle H3v 106108
sayeth, “he that planteth and he that watereth are
one”
, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.1 Cor. 3. Was there not a cause to suspect what
they intended, but the liberty of dissenting was denyed,
and they proceeded to lay aside their meetings
for to conferre together, and to consider one another,
and the ordinance of the Supper, that was layd aside a
long time, fasting was perverted to carry on their own
designes, and to keep the people ignorant of the occasion
and ground of their fast.

I being troubled at this, and resolved not to be Silent
to see what was done by them, but rather to suffer,
did discover my dislike of these practises, and blamed
them to their faces for walking in craftinesse,
contrary to the Apostle, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.2 Cor. 4. 2. and perverting and
laying aside of the ordinances, then insteed of giving
me any satisfaction (as I expected) did they craftily
conspire to entangle me, to fall to dispute about true
Churches
. And to seek occasion against me, to defame
me, and as if there had not been sufficient above
ground
, rakt up the dead out of her grave, and made
matter to frame an accusation against me, for doing
that which themselves the generality of them did the
same, as some of them have since acknowledged, and
in what they accused me Mr Stuckley himselfe cleared
me, and here is the ground of all their charge of
scandall, which how cruell, and unjust, and unreasonable
it is, I leave to the impartiall reader to Judge.

Thus seeing Gospell priviledges, purity of ordinances,
and liberty of conscience lay a bleeding, and
they walking contrary to their principles, and often
engagements, and having no way to free my selfe from H4r 107109
from partaking with them in their evils, not only
the liberty of speaking but of dissenting being denied,
unles it were purchased upon such termes as their
ensnaring of me, and of looseing peace and a good
name
, I not daring to make it known to other members,
lest I should be accounted contentious, having
had experience of the people formerly, and seeing
the officers to be masters of the ordinance, insteed of
dispensors, and to lord it over Gods heritage, as if
they had dominion over our faith: after often seeking
of the Lord and enquiry in his word according to
that light I had received, after I had declared my resolution
and my grounds to the elder, I withdrew, according
to the Apostles rule, INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.1 Thes: Hoping that
by my withdrawing they might be more convinc’t,
and that in time the Lord would make them sensible
of their usurpations, when they saw what effects were
produced, and so might put a stop for time to come
to such proceedings: and though I could expect little
favour from them, unlesse the Lord did convince
them, and so humble their Spirits, yet having the
Testimony of mine own conscience, that I could say in
in some measure with the Apostle, herein did “I exercise
my selfe to have alwaies a conscience void of offence
towards God and towards man”
: and I considered that
I should hereby keep and preserve mine own peace,
in having no hand in exalting of men and so opening
a way to bring in mens inventions, and to worship
God according to the precepts of men.

And Mr Stucley himselfe in his Sermon on that
black and dark day hath acknowledged (as the Copie H4 taken H4v 108110
taken from his own mouth will testifie) that I separated
from them on pretence of conscience, he might
have left out the words (on pretence) unlesse he take
upon him to Judge the heart and conscience, although
Mr Mall in his printed True account (as he cals it)
hath not afforded me so much charity as to put in
that perticular.

And Mr Stucley himselfe afterwards pag. 23. saith
that I went away to avoid the censure; here he contradicts
himselfe more waies then one, for 1. If I
went away to avoid the censure, then I could not separate
on pretence of conscience, but if this be denyed
(as the leaving it out of his printed Sermon may inferre
so much) 2. If I went away to avoid the censure,
then he must be forc’t to deny that I am excommunicated
justly for lying, for how could I goe away to
avoid the censure for lying, afore ever I knew I should
be charged with lying, for I was never charged by
him with lying untill such time as I had really withdrawen
and separated from them.

The like Mr Allen hath allready declared of his
wife, pag. 24. of his Truths manifest, that the pretended
crime or cause of excommunicating her, was in
time long after she left them.

Therefore (Reader) take notice of his grosse contradiction
of himselfe in what he affirmes.

And whereas he pretends that he had no quiet in
his spirit that a person should lie so long suspended
and give no evidence of Repentance, and in his prayer,
that they have not past their censure in a revengefull
way
, and that they could not answer the neglect of
their censure one day longer.

If H5r 109111

If it be so, why must he take liberty to himselfe to
defame me in my name, if it were the sinne only he
aymd at? & why did he use such Epithites, as, “discont¯ented
lyer”
, “notorious lyer”, “egregious lyer”, “Bryer in our sides”,
“companion for damned spirits”, when as his conscience
must needs tell him, that he never accused me of one
lie all those years that I was in fellowship with them:
And if he found me guilty of a lye, let him produce
what lye it was, I never heard of any yet, whiles I was
with them, and when since I left them, he charged me
at first, it was then with an untruth.

And although I desired in our letter sent them to
have the cause heard by understanding and impartiall
men and promist to Submit, yet he slighted that, and
hath taken libertie in pulpit and in print to render our
names and our persons odious to all the world, as if
the sword of excommunication had not been sharp
enough, unlesse it were sharpned by him at the Philistins
forge
, and in the meane time takes liberty to
himselfe to practice that for which he pretends he
hath censured me for lying, I could instance in
severall of their charges that they are no other but
lies.

Not to mention the severall reports that have
been spread concerning me, as not worth the “taking
notice”
of, which have one contradicted the other, and
not two of the Reporters found in one tale, as hath
been taken notice of (as I am informed) by a person
of credit, this is not worth the “taking notice of”.

But that false report that hath been raised by them
and spread in citty and countrie on Mr Ford the minister,nister, H5v 110112
that he should slight lying, and that say lying
was the property of a woman.

Whereas the truth is, that when Mr Ford and Mr
Bartlet
Ministers, and Mr Stucley and Mr Eveleigh
were met at Mr Fords house, Mr Stucley and Mr
Eveleigh
accused me of Scandall, and brought in a
charge of lying against me, instancing in Mris Eveleigh
and my speaking against the Presbyterians
(which I have allready answered) Mr Ford still cald
for more, more charge: then to make up their accusation,
they said that I was fickle, Mr Ford answered
them, that is as much as to say, she is a woman, this
I know to be the truth; and yet the report is spread
by them in City and Country, that he said that lying
was the property of a woman: and herein have they
discovered their falsehood and rage against such an Eminent
labourer
in Christs Vineyard, who hath given
abundant Testimony that he seeks not himselfe but
the things of Christ.

And as for Contention, how hath Mr Stucley discovered
himselfe guilty to all the world, Doeg like,
falling on Magistrates and Ministers whom he supposeth
stands in his way, as his Sermon and printed
books do witnesse.

Give me leave to take notice of it, as David, when
he heard how Saul had cut off the Lords Priests (saith
he) “I have occasioned the death of all these”.

And for Censoriousnesse, how doth it appeare? not
by secret search, but upon their severall Accusations,
wherein the greatest ground of their proceedings
against me, hath been a censuring of the ends of my words H6r 111113
words and actions, which is Gods prerogative alone,
who searcheth the heart, and tryeth the reines”.

Let the Impartiall Reader judge whether they
sought the glory of Christ, & to convince me of this
sin, whēen it is that which was & yet is usually practised
by themselves. Witnesse their usuall calling Mr Fords
preaching “Rayling” and “nonsence”; and some of them
would have the Pulpit shut against Mr Ford, and
would have had the notes of his Sermons to pick occasion
against him, and perswaded me not to hear
him; and I was questioned many times for hearing
of him, not only the Lords daies, but on Lecture daies
also.

I cannot but take notice of Mr Mall in his reasons
pressing them to “renew their Covenant”.

He saith, such poor wretches are given up to “Judiciall
hardnesse”
, so that they are sorry for nothing
so much, as that they with such a Church entred into
Covenant with God; and again, such wretches they
have renewed their Covenant with hell and Satan.

For answer, what Covenant I have entred into with
God, whether with them or any other, I desire still
to own and acknowledge, that I am engaged unto to
performe, and am resolved in the strength of Christ
never to retract. And if in any particular I have denyed
my Covenant with God, it lies upon them to
convince me of it. It is not enough for them to
charge Covenant breaking, and perjury, and Schisme:
it lies upon them to prove their charge, otherwise I
am not engaged to an Implicite faith to believe
them.

I H6v 112114

I think our letter (we sent to them) will testifie,
that we did not retract our Covenant with God,
when we did professe our submission to the law and
will of Christ, wherein I think we did own our Covenant
with God more than they did, who by their
Explicite Covenant engaged themselves to an Implicite
faith
, in subjection to Mr Stucley’s ministeriall
guidance and teaching, without any restriction or limitation.
And yet how doth he boast pag. 13. as if they
were a company of believers that will part from life
rather then from a little command, and their hands
are fill’d with both Tables: is not this practice of
theirs a contradiction to this profession, & yet pag. 29.
exhorting them to keep to the Church of Christ, he
tells them he cannot but approve of their purpose to
subscribe a covenant, that will be a fence against a
“lawlesse Spirit”.

Moses who was a servant in the house of God”, and
God testifies of him that he was “faithfull in all the
house of God”
; see INTERNAL ERROR. Please report to wwp@neu.edu that regMe is unmatched.Deut. 33. 4. Moses commanded us a
law, even the “Inheritance of the congregation of Jacob”.

Is not this fence against “lawlesse Spirits”, that God
hath prescribed his Church sufficient? but that Mr
Stucley
must engage the people to himselfe, as if his
designe were to seek himselfe, and to espouse a people
to himselfe, and not to Christ.

It was the commendation that the Apostle gives of
his hearers, that “they received the word with all
readinesse of mind, and searched the Scriptures dayly,
whether those things be so or no”
: but here they Ingage
to absolute subjection to Mr Stucleys Ministry without any H7r 113115
any Caution, I the rather take notice of it, because
they may consider, that whiles they are Censuring
us, they forget themselves, and their Engagements to
Christ, and to his Lawes; that whereas they have
profest the taking Christ for their King and Lawgiver,
now they set up men in the roome of Christ,
without any mention of the Law and Septer of
Christ: And yet he pretends that his booke (called
Manifest truth) is set forth by him to prevent the
Gospells suffering, although he ha th had a Bratherly
admonition
given him by the unknowne author, “Diotrephes
detected and Archippus admonished”
, yet he never
takes notice of this particular, to give any Satisfaction
unto it, or to remove the offence taken by it.

And now for a close of all I shall desire Mr Stucley
to retyre himselfe a little from the world and those
multitudes of designes hee is at present so much entangled
with; having done this, seriously and sadly
consider a while of that great day of accounts, wherein
the “hidden workes of darknesse” shall be fully discovered
by him whose eyes are as a flame of fire: if he doth
thinke in good earnest that there is such a day coming
wherein he must by accountable for all his actions: let
him I say, consider what account he can give to Christ
of his late proceedings against Mris Allen and my
selfe; will it (thinks he) be enough to say, that his credit
and esteem in the world could not be upheld without
it? that the Interest of that party with whom he
sided consisted therein? that he had Majors, Collonels,
Knights, Ladies, to stand by him; if he account these H7v 114116
these vaine and foolish pleas, now, why should hee?
how dared he act upon such grounds now? His only
way therefore will be to repent of this his “wickednesse,
and pray God, if perhaps the thoughts of his heart may
be forgiven him”
; which will be more to his honour,
then by Printing any more angry bookes against two
weake women (who are not able to speake for themselves
in Print (neither is it required) so well as men,
(especially Schollers) to withold the truth in unrighteousness,
to oppresse the Innocent, and to cover his own
Sin, which whosoever doth, shall not prosper, the
mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

Finis.