i A1r

The
Deceiver Deceived:

A
Comedy,

As ’tis now acted by
His Majesty’s Servants,
at the
theatre
in Little-Lincolns-Inn-Fields.

London,
Printed for R. Baſſet, at the Mitre in Fleet-ſtreet, near
Temple-Bar. 16981698.

ii A1v iii A2r

To Sir Robert Marsham, Knight and Barronet.

What ſhall I ſay, or how excuſe my Boldneſs, in venturing to make ſo mean a preſent, and without permiſſion too; I am full of fears, tho hitherto I have ſtill run the ſame riſque, and always found my Friends ſo good both to forgive and accept my worthleſs trifles: Nay even her Royal Highneſs ſhew’d ſuch a benign Condeſcention, as not only to pardon my ambitious daring, but alſo Incouraged my Pen, why then ſhou’d I fright my ſelf with the apprehenſion of your Frowns and Anger, when at the ſame time I know you to be the moſt Generous and beſt tempered Man in the World.

I look upon thoſe that endeavour’d to diſcountenance this Play as Enemys to me, not that, and had the Play been never ſo good they wou’d have ſhew’d their Teeth: Yet ſure, if you be ſo Noble to protect it, their good manners (that is, if they underſtand any) tho their ſpite remains will make ’em ceaſe to Cavil at the Work, when ſuch a worthy name Adorns the Frontiſpiece. I muſt not trouble you with the little Malice of my Foe, nor is his Name fit to be mentioned in a Paper addreſt to Sir Robert Marsham, he has Printed ſo great a falſhood, it deſerves no Anſwer; yet give me leave without being thought Impertinent or Prolix, to ſay I now am pleaſed and treated by thoſe who pleaſe every Spectater with a Candour and Sweetneſs not to be expreſt.

If I follow’d my inclinations, I ſhou’d now proceed to recite A2 thoſe iv A2v thoſe Vertues which all the happy World that have the Honour to know you daily ſee, but that I am ſure wou’d be the way to offend, for you ſcarce hate Vice more than to hear of your Merits, therefore I ſhall only add, as you are Happy in your Lady, Happy in your children, which are Lovely and Hopeful as an Indulgent Parents wiſh can form; Happy in Fortune, Capacious like your Soul; Happy in your Friends, who love you even to Fondneſs: That Heaven may continue all theſe Bleſſings many ſucceeding Years, is the earneſt and daily wiſh of,

Sir, Your moſt Humble and moſt Obedient Servant.

Mary Pix.

PRO- v A3r

Prologue, ſpoken by Mr. Bowen.

Deceiv’d Deceiver, and Impoſter cheated!

An Audience and the Devil too defeated!

All trick and cheat! Pſhaw, ’tis the Devil and all,

I’ll warr’nt ye we shall now have Cups and Ball;

No, Gallants, we thoſe tricks don’t underſtand;

’Tis t’ other Houſe beſt shows the ſlight of hand:

Hey Jingo, Sirs, what’s this! their Comedy?

Preſto be gone, ’tis now our Farce you ſee.

By neat conveyance you have ſeen and know it

They can transform an Actor to a Poet.

With empty Dishes they’ll ſet out a Treat,

Whole Seas of Broth, but a ſmall Iſle of Meat:

With Powderle-Pimp of Dance, Machine and Song,

They’ll ſpin-ye out short Nonſenſe four hours long:

With Fountains, Groves, Bombaſt and airy Fancies

Larded with Cynthias, little Loves and Dances:

Which put together, makes it hard to ſay,

If Poet, Painter, or Fidler made the Play.

But hold, my buſineſs lies another way.

Not to beſpeak your Praiſe by kind perſwaſions,

But to deſire the favour of your patience.

Our Caſe is thus:

Our Authoreſs, like true Women, shew’d her Play

To ſome, who, like true Wits, ſtole ’t half away.

We’ve Fee’d no Councel yet, tho ſome adviſe us

T’ indite the Plagiaries at Apollo’s Sizes?

But ah, how they’d out face a Damſel civil:

Who’ve impudence enough to out face the Devil:

Beſides, shou’d they be caſt by proſecution,

’Tis now too late to think of reſtitution;

And faith, I hear, that ſome do shrewdly opine

They Trade with other Muſes than the nine.

I name no names, but you may eaſily gueſs,

They that can cheat the Devil can cheat the Fleſh.

Therefore to you kind Sirs, as to the Laws

Of Juſtice she ſubmits her ſelf and Cauſe,

For to whom elſe shou’d a wrong’d Poet ſue,

There’s no appeal to any Court but you.

EPI- vi A3v

A dialogue in the fourth Act, between Mr. Bowman and Mrs. Bracegirdle: The words by Mr. Durfey and ſet by Mr. Eccles.

He

When will Stella kind and tendre

Recompenſe Fidele amour,

You mine heart have made me rendre,

If yours come not in retour

Blank deſpair I can’t defendre

No, no, no, I can’t defendre

Grief muſt kill tout les jours

She

How can Damon love another

Who believes himſelf ſo fine,

He may talk and keep a pother.

But to change can ne’er incline

So much Charm muſt ſlight all other

Ay, ay, ay, muſt ſlight all other,

He believes himſelf ſo fine.

He

Then adieu falſe Eſperanza,

Tout le plaſire de beau jours

Stella’s heart keeps at a diſtance,

And diſdains le cher effort,

She mon Ame will ne’er advance,

No, no, no, will ne’er advance

Cruel death then prend mon cor.

She

You a Beau and talk of dying

’Tis a Cheat I’ll ne’er believe,

You’ve ſuch life in ſelf enjoying

Death’s a word you can’t forgive

Go, improve deceit and lying

Ay, ay, ay, but name not dying,

That’s a Cheat I’ll ne’er believe.

Chorus

He

When will you prove me to know

The truth of a paſſionate Peau.

She

How ſhall I prove you to know

The truth of a flaſhy Town-Beau.

He

By the groans and the tears of the wretch.

She

By his Paint, and his Powder and Patch.

He

By his Mouth, and his very good Teeth.

She

By his Sighs, and his very bad Breath.

He

By his Eyes, and the air of his Face.

She

When he ogles and looks like an Aſs.

He

Morbleu ma cher each part my truth will ſhow.

She

Mon fou, mon fou I never can think ſo.

He

Morbleu, &c.

She

Mon fou, &c.
A DIA- vii A4r

A Dialogue in the fifth Aact, between a Boy and a Girl, and an Old Man. Written by Mr. Motteux; ſet to the Muſick by Mr. J. Eccles.

Enter Girl

Girl

Why do I ſigh and tremble ſo?

Why does my Colour come and go,

When here young Strephon is?

Is this to Love? how ſhall I know?

When he wou’d kiſs me, I ſay, No, no, no, no, no.

But yet I let him kiſs.

II

I wiſh the pretty youth to ſee,

And yet I fear near him to be;

He pains yet pleaſes ſo.

Shall I refuſe, or elſe deny?

I fear I hardly ſhall ſay, Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie.

Were none but he to know.

Enter Boy

Boy

Oh! how d’ye do, Miſs? I hope I don’t ſcare you.

Methinks I’ve no Pleaſure, but when I am near you.

I don’t know what ails me, but when you appear,

I feel ſomething ſo pretty that tickles me here.

Girl

Oh! Dear! ſo do I: Well, I’m glad you are come;

Yet I ſtart, and I bluſh, when you enter the Room,

Juſt like our Maid, when ſhe meets with your Groom.

Boy

Let’s do as they do; ſeem ſhy, and I’ll kiss.

Girl

Oh! Law! what would Mother ſay ſhould I do this!

Boy

Huſh, Fool! you muſt, like her, ſay nothing, yet kiſs.

Girl

Nay, don’t you, be quiet! Grand-Father is by.

Don’t, let me alone ―― ſee! My head’s all awry.

Boy

I’ll buſs you.

Girl

I’ll ſcratch you.

Boy

I care not a pin.

Girl

Nay, now the Folks ſee you.

Boy

Then let us go in.

Both

Then let us go in.

Enter Old Man

Old Man

Why, Sirrah! Why H’us’wife! how dare you do this?

I’ll get a good Rod, I’ll teach you to kiſs.

Boy

Is there any harm in’tflawed-reproduction

Girl

Oh, pray do not Scold.

Boy

We’re not ſo much too Young as you be too Old.

Old Man

Stay till you be Married.

Boy

Pray Marry us then.

Girl

They ſay when we’re Married we’re Women and Men.

Old Man

’Tis time you ſhould wed, if already you long.

We’re quickly too old, but we’re never too young.

All Three

’Tis Time you ſhould Wed, if already you long;

We’re quickly too Old, but we’re never too Young.

Exflawed-reproductioneunt
flawed-reproduction viii A4v

Perſons Repreſented.

Mr. Betterton Melito Bondi A Senator of Venice, who counterfeits blindneſs to avoid being Preſident of Dalmatia.

Mr. Arnold Gonſalvo Another Senator.

Mr. Hodgſon Count Andrea Gallant to Melito Bondi’s Wife.

Mr. Verbruggen Fidelio A noble Venetian decay’d in his Fortunes.

Mr. Bowman Count Inſulls A Rich Merchants Son of France, pretending to Ariana.

Mr. Bowen Gervatio Steward to Melito Bondi.

Mr. Trafuſe Actwell A Cunning Fellow.

Mr. KnapHeardouble and

Mr. Watſon Stretchwell Two Informers.

Boy and Attendants.

Women.

Mrs. Barry Olivia Bondi’s Wife.

Mrs. Bracegirdle Ariana His Daughter.

Mrs. Lee Lady Temptyouth

Mrs. Prince Lucinda One ſhe brings up.

Mrs. Silvia Olivia’s Woman.

Mrs. Beatrice Ariana’s Woman.

Mrs. Tiflewell Lucinda’s Woman.

ACT 1 B1r 1

Act I. Scene I.

Enter Seignior Melito Bondi, led by a Boy.

Bondi

Lead me to my Chair, then ſend Gervatio hither.

Boy

Yes, my Lord.

Exit Boy.

Bond

This Morning I’ve out-riſen the Sun, to ſcourge that Dog whoſe curſt Contrivance brought the Miſchiefs which deſtroy my Sleep: Oh! here he comes, the Coaſt is clear, and I’ll ſecure it ſo.

Enter Gervatio.

Gerv

Good morrow to your Lordſhip; what does your Lordſhip mean?

Bond

What did you mean, Raſcal, to make me mad, horn mad, with this counterfeiting Blindneſs? but I can ſee your Plots, you Pander, and you ſhall feel my Rage.

Canes him.

Gerv

Thus faithful ſervice ever is rewarded; Will ye but hear me?

Bond

No, I’ve ſeen too much; you’ll make me deaf next, I ſuppoſe, ſirrah, and then ſet the World upon abuſing me that way, Villain.

Gerv

Hold and hear what I can urge, or I’ll raiſe all the Houſe, and lay the Impoſture open.

Bond

Well, I will hold, not out of any kindneſs, but that I’m out of breath.

Gerv

If I am not reveng’d on ye, ye old Don, I’ll be hang’d.

Aſide.

Bond

Well, what have you to ſay, Sir?

Gerv

Look ye, my Lord, in the firſt place I’ll go cloſe to the Door, and if your Lordſhip offers to move or ſtir your Cane, I’ll fly out, and this minute proclaim in Venice, that ――

Bond

Hold, I am quiet.

Gerv

Then how have you the face to uſe me thus? Am I not privy to all your Extortions and Briberies? Have I not carried the tempting Sumflawed-reproduction, that corrupted Knaves, and excuſed your ſelf from greater? Have you not ſworn a taxing power, tho’ for the good of the Commonweal, was worſe than a luxurious Tyrant, who thought of nothing but his Pleaſures? Nay more, if the Grand Seignior would let you enjoy your Wealth, you had as live have him for your Head as his Holineſs.

Bond

Well, good Gervatio, thou doſt know my Failings, but ’tis the ill conſequence of this blindneſs puts me in all theſe paſſions.

Gerv

Does not your Conſcience (but I have forgot, you have none, elſe it would) fly in your Face, for abuſing me on that acount? Did not you, when the old Preſident of Dalmatia died, come to me, Oh! dear Gervatio, I’m undone! my turn is next to that chargable Poſt, I ſhall laviſh all the Wealth my whole Life has been ſcraping together! Then you coaxed me, Thou art ingenious, think ſome way I may be miſt, and I’ll make thy Fortunes.

Bond

Nay, this is true.

B Gerv. 2 B1v 2

Gerv

Is it ſo? I almoſt loſt my Eyes in reality in poring over old muſty Statutes; there I found nothing but ſome natural Incapacity could exempt the rich Nobles in their turns: Accordingly I advis’d you to counterfeit Blindneſs; you did it, ſucceeded, Martino Cornaro is choſe in your place, and I am cudgel’d for my pains.

Bowing.

Bond

Ah Gervatio, thou haſt told the Sweets and Profits of the ſtory, but left the bitter ſting out. Whilſt the Duke and Senate believed my Blindneſs, and I eſcaped that hateful Office, my Wife and Daughter do ſo too at home, my Wife with ogling Eyes juſt at my Noſe, views her Gallant, and the young Gipſie lets that Bankrupt’s Son, Count Fidelio, ſteal her Hand: This makes me mad, and wiſh I were blind indeed.

Gerv

For this I alſo provide a Remedy: You know by my care the Ladies are almoſt alwaies with you elſe; I watch ’em, let ’em look on, ſqueeze Hands, they’l ſcarce venture to make you a Cuckold or a Grandfather. Beſide, my Diligence goes farther; this day the Girdle of St. Sylveſter comes your tutelar Saint, for you will have a Saint too, tho’ to my knowledge all your Religion lies in filling your Bags. But, as I ſaid before, to day the wonderful Girdle comes, and will get credit, for I dare ſwear you ſee immediately after the damagedperation.

Bond

Well, thou art a Wag; codamaged, take care of my Wife and Daughter till I dare own I perceive ’em again, and I’ll make amends for my Blows; faith Gervatio ’twas hard laſt night to ſee a Man kiſs my Wife half an hour together before my Face, and when I call’d, the Baggage would take off her Lips and cry, How do’ſt my Dear? Then my Daughter, you know, I deſign for my Lord Inſuls, Son to the rich French Merchant Monſieur Opulant, who by his Induſtry has purchas’d three Jack Pudding French Beaux Eſtates.

Gerv

For a Son that as like a Jack Pudding Beau will Aſide. ſpend it, to my own knowledge.

One knocks.

Bond

Here, here, to my Chair, quick, quick, open the Door.

Enter Seignior Gonſalvo.

Gonſal

A happy Morning to my Lord.

Bond

Gonſalvo’s Voice, I think; Gervatio, conduct me to ſalute him.

Gonſ

By no means, my Lord, your condition excuſes Ceremony, at all times needleſs; the Duke commends him to you, he with much pains has got a famous Oflawed-reproductionliſt.

Bond

The Devil he has.

Aſide.

Gerv

Now I thank thee Fortune, thou haſt revenged me.

Aſide.

Gonſ

Unwilling to loſe the Advice of ſuch a Pillar of the State, has took true pains for an experienc’d Man.

Bond

I am much beholden to his Princely Care; but, my Lord, I look on this Affliction ſent from Heaven as a Judgment, and hope by Penitence to obtain from thence a Remedy: You muſt know, my Lord, I beyond meaſure coveted the Preſident of Dalmatia’s place, nothing but that would ſuffice my Ambition; nay, Heaven forgive me, I often wiſh’d his death.

Gerv

Oh, mercy upon me, was there ever ſuch a Diſſembler!

Aſide.

Bond

Now mark the end: Juſt as the old Preſident died this Darkneſs fell upon me; 3 B2r 3 me; I have no Hopes in human Aid, but my own dear St. Silveſter methoughts, in a Dream, epreſs’d, his ſacred Girdle might do me good.

Gonſ

The Dream is not to be neglected, nor the Duke’s Goodwill to regain the loſs of precious ſight, both may be try’d, i’th’ Afternoon I’ll wait upon you with the famous man, in the mean time I am your Lordſhip’s ſervant.

Exit Gonſalvo.

Bond

So Gervatio, what think you of your project now? I ſhall have a pragmatical fellow poke my Eyes out indeed.

Gerv

Fear nothing, my Lord, I’ll do well enough with him. If I don’t fit you Seignior for your drubbing, you ſhall call me John a Styles.

Aſide.

Bond

Gervatio, lead me into the green Room, and ſee if my Wife and Daughter are up, ſend ’em to me.

Gerv

It ſhall be done, my Lord.

Bond

Oh this damn’d Oculiſt, Gervatio!

Gerv

Pho, pho, I’ll banter him out of his ſenſes.

Bond

Give me thy Hand, leſt any of the Family ſhould ſee us.

Exeunt. Scene draws, Ariana dreſſing, and Beatrice.

Aria

Ha’ done trifling, I’m well enough.

Beatr

You are indeed charmingly pretty, Madam.

Aria

Hou nauſeous ’tis, and yet how natural ’tis to have our Women flatter us. Well, Beatrice, here’s a wonderful alteration ſince my Father’s Blindneſs, I can put on a new ſuit every day, and my Jewels, laid up only for the Feſtival of St. Mark, may be worn now without a chiding.

Beatr

Theſe are great privileges, Madam, yet ’tis a ſad thing to think about how ſuddenly my Lord was ſtruck blind.

Aria

I ſwear ſo it is; but then remember, Beatrice, how he forbad Count Fidelio to think on me, tho’ his Father was of Birth noble as mine, deſpis’d that Droſs my Father makes his God, and left his Son only a liberal Education and innate Courage, which appears unknown to most of our Venetians.

Beatr

My Lord dares not deny him the Houſe, becauſe he is of the ancient Nobility, and he has been an hour walking in the Garden, waiting your coming down, and then, I ſuppoſe, gives my Lord the good morrow.

Aria

Well, ’tis a miſchievous Rogue, he has ſo many Tricks before my Father, yet can’t I forbear joyning, nor ſcarce keep the Laugh in.

Beatr

Confeſs Madam, are you really ſorry at the Darkneſs has overtaken your Father?

Aria

Why truly, Beatrice, I always ſay my Prayers for his Eyes reſtoration the laſt thing I do, that is, juſt when I am falling aſleep.

Enter Silvia.

Silv

Madam, my Lady ſent me to tell you, your Father expects you with her preſently.

Aria

I’ll wait upon her, Silvia.

Exit Silvia.

That Mother-in-law of mine is a hopeful young Gentlewoman too; ſhe takes Opportunity by the Forelock, and makes all the haſte ſhe conveniently can to give my B2 old 4 B2v 4 old Dad Horns inſtead of Eyes: Am not I a wicked Jade to wink at this? Why, I don’t know, if I ſhould betray her, ſhe’d ſerve me the ſame ſauce; beſides, my Father married the young Creature the perfect Venetian way, only for her Portion, never ſaw one-another beforehand: I can’t but think what a fright ſhe was in, to behold an old Man with a grizled Beard inſtead of a brisk young fellow. Well, I hope Heaven makes Allowances for ſuch a caſe, and my Guilt won’t be great for gueſſing at it.

Beatr

Your Ladiſhip conſiders what may befal your ſelf another day, Madam.

Aria

God forbid Wench, I hope to marry my dear Fidelio, and that Woman that takes a Man for Love deſerves to be diſgrac’d here, and damn’d hereafter, if but her Inclinations waver, and ſhe in Thought abuſes him.

Beatr

Ay, but Madam, if your Father’s choice, my Lord Inſuls ſhould be forc’d upon you.

Aria

Hang him, perfum’d Poltoon, I hate him worſe than a Nunnery, where they wear Hair Smocks.

Beatr

He comes this Afternoon to make his ſecond viſit; my Lady Temptyouth ſays he’s a fine Gentleman.

Aria

He is indeed fit for her uſe: Well, ’tis a ſtrange thing a Lady of her quality ſhould give her ſelf the trouble, no ſhe has paſs’d the beaten Road of Wickedneſs her ſelf, to draw others in. My Mother has a good Friend of her; I know my Father hates her, but his dear Intereſt prevails, ſhe helps him to the purchaſe of many a Prodigal’s Eſtate.

Beatr

Madam, you forget my Lady ſtays.

Enter Donna Olivia.

Aria

She’s here.

Oliv

How does my pretty Daughter to day? But why do I ask? you look freſh and fair as the new-blown Roſe.

Aria

When your Ladiſhip conſults your Glaſs you’ll find a brighter, Madam.

Oliv

Fie upon you for a little Flatterer, what your Mother!

Aria

’Tis true, the Law calls you my Mother, but the World muſt be blind as my Father, if they did not take us for Siſters.

Oliv

Well, your Father’s blindneſs is a dreadful thing, Ariana; why, he’ll never ſuffer us to be out of the Room.

Aria

There is no Conveniency but has its Inconveniency, Madam.

Oliv

That’s true, come, we muſt to him.

Exeunt. Scene draws, and diſcovers Bondi in a Chair.

Bond

I have a fine melancholy Life on’t, thank my Stars; but ſhould I diſcover my ſelf before this arch Rogue has brought matters about, I muſt be the laughingſtock of Venice, beſides paying a ſwindging Fine for deceiving the Duke and Senate in putting off the Government. ―― Boy.

Boy

My Lord.

Bond

Are not the Women ready?

Boy

My Lord, they are entering.

Enter Olivia and Ariana. Arian. 5 B3r 5

Arian

Your Bleſſing, Sir.

Bond

Formality, I believe you mind your topping more than my Bleſſings, or Heavens either.

Oliv

How are your Eyes, my Lord?

Bond

Not clear enough to ſee into your Heart, my Lady.

Oliv

Still angry!

Arian

Truly I hope purging my Fother’s Choler does him good, elſe ſurely he would never practice it ſo often, but that he finds benefit by it.

Bond

Baggage!

Arian

Nay, I am out of the reach of your Cane, Sir; come, I would fain ſay ſomething to divert ye, the Spleen is very hurtful to your Eyes.

Enter a Servant.

Serv

Madam, my Lady Temptyouth is coming up.

Bond

That everlaſting Tattler, I would retire and ſhun the noiſe, only my being here perhaps may in part hinder your luſcious Imagination from being tickled with all the Intrigues of the City.

Enter Lady Temptyouth.

La. Tem

Good morrow, my Lord; good morrow my ſweet Buds of Beauty.

Bond

Pray, my Lady Temptyouth, don’t put my Wife in amongſt your Buds of Beauty; if ſhe is not five and twenty, ſhe ought to apear like fifty, that’s fitteſt for her, and would pleaſe me beſt.

La. Tem

Lord, you’re ſo captious: Well, I ſwear your Wife looks very handſom, ’tis for your ſake ſhe dreſſes, ’tis to look amiable in your Eyes.

Bond

Ay, now you’ve hit it.

La. Tem

Pox on him, I had forgot his blindneſs.

Aſide.

I mean, ſhe us’d to do; now, poor Lady, ſhe’s like any Slattern. Here’s my little Ariana appears as ſhe had not look’d in a Glaſs to day.

Aria

Bare two hours I aſſure you, Madam.

Bond

Well ſaid Pride, I have a good mind to have all the Glaſſes in the Houſe broke; no, ſold I meant.

Pauſing.

Aria

My Lord, my Actions never diſobey you, pray allow me a little freedom in ſpeech.

Bond

She that’s ſo free of her Tongue, commonly is as free ――

La. Tem

Oh hold, my Lord, an immodeſt word, nay, any hint, tho’ never ſo darkly, tending that way, drives me out of the Room.

Bond

Your Ladiſhip has then a quick apprehenſion.

La. Tem

Yes, I vow, my Lord, at a Play, when no Woman of Quality elſe has found out a beaſtly wrapt-up thing, I han’t ſhow’d my Face in a quarter of an hour.

Bond

Oh wondrous modeſty!

La. Tem

My Lord, Count Dreſſwell has a Bank Note of Five hundred pound, he can’t ſtay till the Bank pays, and would part with it for two hundred and fifty ready Mony; will your Lordſhip meddle with it?

Bond

Let him ſend it to Gervatio, and he ſhall have his Mony.

La. Tem

I am always ſtudying for your good; Lord, your Lady ſtands like any Statue, I beg your pardon, I muſt rouſe her: My Dear, Count Andrea dies for you; I ſwear 6 B3v 6 I ſwear he was in ſuch a condition, I could not forbear bringing this Letter from him. But may your Daughter be truſted?

Takes her a one ſide.

Oliv

With my Life, or what’s dearer, my Honour.

La. Tem

Well, I ſwear he talks ſo paſſionately of ye, ſays ſuch warm extravagant things, he ſets my old Blood a glowing like dying Coals blow’d by a ſtrong pair of Bellows.

Bond

What’s this long whiſper, my Lady?

La. Tem

Only a Receipt for your Eyes, my Lord.

Bond

Then why may not I hear it?

La. Tem

There’s ſomething ſo nauſeous ’twill ſet you againſt uſing it. Read your Letter, Child.

Bond

What paper is’t that ruſſels?

La. Tem

Why, the Receipt, Simpleton: This man is ſo miſtruſtful. Well, but Child, I can’t let this precious Receipt go out of my Hands for a thouſand Worlds.

Oliv

I beg your pardon, madam, then I’ll copy it; nothing ſhall be neglected by me that will help my Lord. A Pen and Ink there.

Bond

A Letter from her Gallant, and ſhe’s a going to anſwer it; Hell and Furie! I can’t bear it, nor can have remedy.

Aſide ſtorming.

La. Tem

Heavens! what’s the matter?

Bond

My Eyes ſmart intolerably.

La. Tem

Fretting, fretting; Lord, you muſt be patient. Madam, I beg you’d be as quick as you can, for I’m in haſte.

Oliv

Your Ladiſhip ſees I’m about it.

Bond

Ah the Devil, and I ſee it too, and be hang’d to ye.

Aſide.

When you have done, Gervatio ſhall read it to me.

Oliv

Gervatio is my mortal Enemy, what ſhall I do now, Madam?

Aſide.

La. Tem

Pho, pho, write a ſcrip of paper good for the ſight, put in Eyebright, White Roſe-water, and whatever comes in your Head.

Bond

Here’s mighty Conſultation about this damn’d Receipt.

La. Tem

I tell you, my Lord, if you fret thus you’l never ſee again.

Bond

No matter, wou’d I could ſee what I wiſh.

La. Tem

What’s that?

Bond

The conflagration fall upon the Women firſt, and leave the Men by themſelves an Age longer.

La. Tem

Then they would be the naſtieſt, moſt helpleſs Creatures; ha, ha, ha.

Enter Boy.

Boy

Count Fidelio to wait upon your Honour.

Bond

Count Fiddleſtick; Why did you not ſay I was buſie?

La. Tem

Well, I vow, my Lord if you are thus froppiſh, all your Friends will forſake ye, a dark Room will be fitteſt for you.

Bond

Friendſhip, there’s no ſuch thing, Nature laid the Groundwork of Enmity in every Mortal; indeed in ſome ’tis ſpiced over with Diſſimulation; I hate this man, and yet muſt ſpeak him fair.

La. Tem

Why do ye hate him?

Bond

That’s a Secret.

Aria. 7 B4r 7

Aria

Which I can gueſs at.

Aſide. Enter Fidelio.

Now my turn’s a coming.

Fid

Your Lordſhip’s humble Servant; how does your Lordſhip to day?

Bond

Well in health, my Mind is like my Sight, oppreſſed.

Fid

I am ſorry for it.

Oliv

Madam, there’s your Receipt with Thanks.

La. Tem

I wiſh it may do him good.

Bond

Yes, yes, I ſhall feel good on’t, methinks my Horns are ſprouting already.

Aſide.

Aria

Madam, can’t you engage my Father in a little Diſcourſe, whilſt I talk with ――

Aſide to Lady Temptyouth.

La. Tem

That young handſom fellow, thou art a Rogue; I’ll do’t, I warrant ye. Well, you ſay you’l have the Bank Bill, my Lord.

Bond

I told you ſo once already.

La. Tem

Lord, you are ſo ſhort one can’t ſpeak to ye, tho ’tis for All this while Count Fid. courts, kneels, and talks to Ariana. your own good: I believe Count Dreſſwels Eſtate too, you may make a good hole in’t if you will.

Bond

His Villa is very pretty, upon that he may have what Mony he pleaſes. Damnation!

Bondi ſees ’em.

La. Tem

What’s the matter with the man? I ſwear you made me ſtart, why you turn your Head about as if your Eyes were of uſe.

Bond

I ſhall be diſcover’d ſtrait, was ever puniſhment like mine?

Aſide.

Oliv

You are very uneaſie, my Lord, can I do any thing for you?

Bond

Yes make me worſe, I ſeldom ever knew a Wife bring Quiet or Content to her Husband.

Oliv

This is my uſage ever.

La. Tem

I wonder you are not aſham’d, for a ſurly Devil; ſee, piſh, you can’t ſee how the poor Lady weeps.

Oliv

Ay, he is blind, and I believe he deſigns to make me cry my Eyes out to be like him.

Bond

Oh the Devil! at this very minute ſhe can ſcarce hold laughing. Aſide. You are very merry Daughter.

Ariana claps her Fan on Fidelio’s Shoulder.

Aria

I only drop’d my Fan, Sir.

Bond

My Lord Fidelio, how went the Votes in the Sentate yeſterday concerning the new Levies?

La. Tem

Fidelio! why he is gone, my Lord, he only gave you the good morrow, and paſſed through the Room.

Aria

That’s well enough, I’ll ſwear.

Bond

This is abominable, but I muſt endure it.

Aria

Thou art a dear Angel; but, my Lady, cou’d not you contrive to get my Father away? this Gentleman hath earneſt buſineſs with me.

Aſide to L Temprt.

La. Tem

Well, well, I’ll try at that too; but which way? Gad, I’ve got a Bottle of Orange-water in my Pocket, I’ll make the old fool believe ’tis ſomething good for the Eyes, ’twill do him no hurt, only make ’em ſmart a little, that perhaps will induce him to lye down.

Aſide. My 8 B4v 8

My Lord, can you forgive me when I own I am the greateſt Beaſt in the World?

Bond

I always thought you ſo. Aſide What’s the matter, Madam?

La. Tem

Here’s a Bottle of precious Water, given me by the Dutcheſs, to be applied at all times, and I quite forgot it, I ſwear; I have ſuch a reſpect for you, that at every place I am picking up ſomething.

Bond

Yes, Gallants for my Wife. Aſide Madam, I’ll have none of your old Womens Medicines.

La. Tem

By your leave, my Lord, but you ſhall, I know the goodneſs on’t.

Bond

I tell you I will not.

Oliv

Pray, my Lord, be rul’d.

Bond

True Wife tho’ ſhe cares not if I was deaf as well as blind, yet be ſure to be for any thing I am againſt.

La. Tem

Come, come, don’t tell me, I ſwear you ſhall wash your Eyes with it.

Bond

I ſwear I won’t.

La. Tem

By Heavens you ſhall, now I’ve ſworn again, I’le ſee who’ll be maſter.

Bond

A Pox take ye; Oh the confounded pain! Boy, here He ſtruggles in the Chair, and ſhe flings the Bottle of Water in his Face. lead me to my Couch, I muſt e’en ſend Gervatio to watch ’em, that Woman will be the death of me.

Aſide Exit lead.

La. Tem

Ha, ha, ha. So Ladies, what do ye think of me now?

Oliv

Oh, you are the beſt of Women.

Aria

Heavens! yonder’s Gervatio a coming, he is our mortal Foe, my Father has ſent him, he had as good have ſtaid himſelf.

La. Tem

Let me alone, I’ll ſend him away, I’ll lay a Wager.

Aria

Fidelio, ſtep behind the Skreen, whilſt my Lady trys her Power, he’l tell my Father you are with us.

Fid

I will, Madam; dear Lady Temptyouth, if thou canſt effect this, I’ll have thy Statue made in Braſs.

La. Tem

Brazen-face! could you think of no other Metal? go, be gone.

Enter Gervatio.

Your Servant, good Don Gervatio, you are come luckily to receive my Inſtructions, you muſt immediately carry to my Lord Dreſſwell Two hundred and fifty pounds, and take his Bank Note for Five hundred.

Gerv

Your pardon, Madam, my Lord ſent me to ſtay here.

La. Tem

And your pardon too, Sir; I am ſure your Lord would not loſe ſuch a Bargain; and he muſt have the Mony preſently, or he’ll ſell it to ſome-body elſe.

Oliv

Indeed I heard your Maſter ſay he would have it.

Gerv

He’s a flawed-reproduction may give me ſomething flawed-reproduction on’t: he flawed-reproduction no Menflawed-reproduction what ſhould I ſtay for? Aſide Well, I’ll cary it preſently.

La. Tem

Preſently, nay, you muſt go now, this very Inſtant, now.

Thruſting him out.

Gerv

What, does you Ladiſhip intend to raviſh me?

La. Tem

When I thruſt thee from me, Fool. Come, good Gervatio, make haſte, becauſe I undertook my Lord’s buſineſs, and I love to go through ſtitch with any thing I meddle with: Be ſpeedy, come, I may do ye a Kindneſs another day.

Gerv

I muſt be gone, there’s no diſputing with her.

Exit Gerv. La. Tem. 9 C1r 9

La. Tem

Appear abſconding Knight, appear.

Fid

Be gad, my Lady Temptyouth, you have charm’d me ſo, you ſhall have a Kiſs with as much Ardour as if you were but ſixteen.

La. Tem

O ſweet young Gentleman, Heavens bleſs him! You are happy, Madam: Come, I muſt do more for you yet, Time’s precious; my Lady Olivia Bondi, let you and I go into the Garden, and conſult about that Receipt.

Oliv

You’l find what I have done in it is to your ſatisfaction. Daughter, your Servant, I’ll keep your Father from ſending for you as long as I can.

Aria

Madam, I am yours and my Lady Temptyouth’s moſt humble.

Fid

I am her Slave.

La. Tem

Well, you are a couple of dear Kittens, bleſs you both.

Exit with Olivia.

Aria

My Lord, you have talk’d of Flames and Fires, and Darts, and the Devil and all, but how ſhall I be convinc’d ’tis not the Hundred thouſand pound I am like to be worth kindles theſe Fires and Paſſions?

Fid

Why faith, Madam this way; let’s marry without your Father’s Conſent, and he’l turn us out of doors, then I’ll beg for ye, fight for ye, ſtarve for ye, dye for ye.

Aria

Thou art an honeſt Lad, but I don’t like ſtarving, ’twill be apt to take away all your Appetites, and you won’t care for me.

Fid

Oh no, my Love to thee is implanted in my Soul, and were my youthful Arms reduced to very Bones with the worn Skeleton, I ſhould hug thee to my Heart, as my chiefeſt Bleſſing and divineſt Treaſure.

Aria

’Tis pretty to hear a young fellow one loves talk thus, but this wont do, Love and Plenty crown the circling Year with Pleaſure; but where either’s wanting, Content ſcarce ever appears. Is it impoſſible to get Gervatio to our party? He is cunning, and can rule my Father.

Fid

I’ll try; but, Oh! ――

Aria

You want a Bribe; come, be not aſham’d of your poverty, ſince your noble Father waſted his Fortunes in being always in Arms for the defence of his Country againſt our common Enemy the Turks, the ungrateful Senate ought to have took you to their care; but ſince neglected, accept of this without a bluſh.

Gives a Purſe.

Fid

Bound by innumerable Charms, by Obligations unaccountable, when I ceaſe to love thee, may Heaven and all my Peace of Mind forſake me.

Aria

Try Gervatio, tell him that I’ll for ever be his Friend.

Fid

Madam, I will with joy, and urge whatever eager love can to my Soul ſuggeſt.

Enter Beatrice.

Beatr

Madam, my Maſter raves for you like one mad.

Aria

Then I muſt go.

Fid

My Lord Inſulls, that Rival; but why name I him? I know your noble Soul deſpiſes him.

Aria

Reſt in that ſecure, I loath the man, my Father’s power ſhall force my Death ſooner than Conſent: farewell.

C Fid. 10 C1v 10

Fid

’Tis Death to part, tho’ but for a moment; Is there a time, is there that white day in Fate when I ſhall call thee Wife? let others ſcoff, think the Matrimonial Bonds uneaſie term it

A Hell, a Pit, an endleſs painful Snare,

The Heaven I covet is to wed my Fair.

Exeunt ſeverally.

The End of the Firſt Act.

Act II.

Scene changes. Enter Olivia and Lady Temptyouth.

Oliv

Well, your Importunity and the Count’s has prevail’d, I’ll vow I bluſh to think on’t, through a back-door into the Garden, the hour that my Husband ſleeps, a young Gentleman; faith, Madam, ’tis very ſcandalous.

La. Tem

Fiddle faddle, ſcandalous! if you have the Pleaſure, much good may do the World with the Scandal.

Oliv

You’ll ſtay with me, Madam.

La. Tem

Yes, yes, Madam; I left my poor Girl at home not well on purpoſe to come.

Oliv

What kin is that young Lady to you, Madam?

La. Tem

Her Mother was my Friend, to tell ye the truth, ſhe is a Baſtard, I have bred up ſeveral, and help’d ’em all to good Husbands, or Gallants, which is better.

Oliv

A charitable Lady you are. Hark! I hear a noiſe, ’tis he, I ſwear I ſhall bluſh to death.

La. Tem

I never heard of any-body dy’d of that Diſeaſe; here’s the man, look what a well-built perſon ’tis.

Enter Count Andrea.

And

Ladies, your Servant.

Oliv

Did you come in unobſerv’d, my Lord?

And

Yes, Madam; but I’ve had a little misfortune, I’ve broke the Key in the Door, and know not how I ſhall get out again.

La. Tem

Here’s a Fool now is taking care to get out before he is well in, mind your buſineſs, I’ll get ye out, I warrant ye.

And

Pardon me, Madam, ’tis my dear Olivia’s Honour I am careful of; for my ſelf, I’d wade ten thouſand Dangers only to touch this beautious Hand.

La. Tem

Why that’s well ſaid, kiſs it now, or elſe you do nothing.

And

A thouſand and a thouſand times.

La. Tem

Well, I’ll in, and watch the old man’s motions.

Oliv. 11 C2r 11

Oliv

You won’t leave me, Madam.

La. Tem

Indeed but I will, I cannot ſtay a moment longer.

Exit Lady Temptyouth.

And

Shall we waſte the time in talk, Olivia? Need I tell thee how much I love thee? Waſt thou not torn from my longing Arms by an inhuman Father, and given to the wither’d ones of richer Bondi? Yet tho’ I am denied whole Draughts of Love, I’ll ſnatch the precious Cordial when the bleſt minute gives it, and devour it eagerly.

Embracing her.

Oliv

Away, my Lord, think whoſe I am, think of my ſacred vow, I dare not break it.

And

Your Vows firſt were made to me, no matter whoſe you are, this hour is mine, and ſhall be ſpent in richeſt Love, Love that has ſo well reveng’d my Cauſe, and as your cruel Lord ſnach’d her from theſe fond Eyes, ſo Fate has now depriv’d him of his own, he only cannot view your unequal Charms, which dart on every wiſhing gazer Joy.

Oliv

If Judgments do hang upon my wretched Lord, ſhall I by Falſhood wound deeper than his Fate?

And

Who e’er crys out of pain they neither feel nor apprehend? Think Olivia, my Olivia, for I will pleaſe my ſelf, and call thee mine; think the vaſt Charity, the mighty Kindneſs, that ſaves my Life, and hurts not Bondi.

Oliv

The man is mad, to bid a Woman think; no, talking Deluder, when we think we never yield. Now I have thought on the fatal conſequence, and reſolved from this minute to grow wife; that I have took the opportunity of my Husband’s blindneſs, and ſeen you often, was due to your injurious Wrongs; for witneſs thoſe Stars that ſmiled not on our plighted Faiths, I ever found you conſtant, and I lov’d you for it.

And

Oh ſweet Confeſſion! and if you love me, will you not bleſs me too? the Argus Eyes of Jealouſie are uſeleſs, the watchful Dragon that ſhould guard the golden Fruit now ſleeps for ever.

Oliv

But Angel, Honour is ſtill awake, that ſecures my beating Heart, yet I will fly the charming ſounds that are familiar there, but do not follow me, I charge ye, do not, leſt ye meet the everlaſting Anger of my Eyes.

Exit.

And

Not follow thee, when my Veins are all on fire! yes,

Thro’ every Path of this delightful Grove,

Till my warm Sighs her Honour ſhall remove,

And fill her panting Breaſt with yielding Love.

Exit. Scene changes to the inſide of the Houſe. Enter Gervatio, a Servant to him.

Serv

Seignior Gonſalvo ſends word, the Oculiſt is ſick, and cannot come till tomorrow.

Gerv

Hum, ―― then my Revenge is loſt, for the Girdle comes before that C2 time. 12 C2v 12 time. Did not I ſee Actwell croſs the Court juſt now into the Kitchin?

Serv

Yes, Sir.

Gerv

Call him to me.

Exit Serv.

That fellow that plays tricks for his Victuals, perhaps, for a Piſtole, may do my buſineſs; my Lord knows him not.

Enter Actwell and Servant.

Leave us.

To the Servant
Exit Servant.

Actw

What’s to be done now? What am I ſent for to Maſter Steward?

Aſide.

Gerv

Actwell, my Lord, was to have a famous Oculiſt come to day, and he juſt ſent word, he cannot; ’twill put my Lord ſo damnably out of humour, there will be no enduring it; cannot you pretend to be the Oculiſt, get a Launcet, look into his Eyes, talk Nonſenſe, make him believe you’ll do Wonders, but when it comes to the upſhot, I’ll enter, and prevent your touching him? You muſt ſay you came from the Duke and Gonſalvo; I’ll give thee a Piſtole.

Actw

I thank you, Sir, I am daily obliged here, I believe I could do it well enough, only I don’t underſtand thoſe damn’d cramp words thoſe Quacks have.

Gerv

O ſay any thing: half an hour hence come to the Wardrobe, I’ll give you an old-faſhion’d Cloak, that you may look like an experienc’d man full of Years.

Actw

I will, Sir; the Film, the Tenders, the Devil, I’ll look into a Book of Anatomy, and get ſome terms from thence; I will be ſure to wait upon you, Sir. This was happy for poor Actwell.

Exit.

Gerv

To fright him, is that all for ſuch an intolerable caring? Gad, if the Devil was not wanting in a Temptation, I could do him a greater Miſchief.

Enter Fidelio.

Fid

Your Servant, Don Gervatio.

Gerv

Sir, my Lord’s aſleep.

Fid

’Tis you, not your Lord; I am come to ―― but e’re I tell my Suit, receive this Purſe, a young Lady’s preſent.

Gives the Purſe.

Gerv

You banter me.

Fid

Indeed I don’t Gervatio, you can ſee, tho’ Melito Bondi’s blind and might have ſeen, I live but for Ariana’s ſake, the kind Maid meets my Flames, and generousſly returns ’em; my wretched Fortune hinders me from following the way my Love propoſes, taking her my only Bleſſing from her Father; ’tis in your power, Gervatio, to aſſiſt us in making up, if but a moderate fortune, you can perſwade, decoy, do any thing with the old man..

Gerv

The Temptation I wiſh’d for is come. Aſide.

My Lord, your Offers are made in a happy time, for I was juſt deſigning to wait on the young Lady, and proffer her my Service.

Fid

Are you real?

Gerv

By all that’s good I am, my Maſter has beat me into a right underſtanding.

Fid. 13 C3r 13

Fid

What ſhall we do with this Lord Inſuls, Gervatio?

Gerv

Why, as he’s made of Cork, we’l ſet him a floating, and return him to the reſt of the mercurial Gentlemen in his own Country. Well, my Lord, leave your Affairs to me, and if I don’t bring Ariana to your Arms, and more Bags than three Men can carry, my Ears ſhall be at your mercy.

Fid

Well, thou art a dear Rogue, and ſhall command my Fortunes.

Gerv

My Maſter rings; truſt to me, and be happy.

Fid

Your Servant.

Gerv

Yours.

Exeunt ſeverally. Scene draws, and diſcovers Bondi a rouſing from a Couch, a Boy with him.

Bond

Where’s my Wife and Daughter?

Enter Lady Temptyouth and Ariana.

La. Tem

Here, here, my Lord. Well, I believe your Wife is the beſt of Women, we three have been all at work in the outer Room, and I’ll ſwear poor Olivia look’d in upon you twenty times, ſhe is ſo fond, for all you are a naughty man, and uſe her ſo barbarouſly.

Aria

Well ſaid Telltruth.

Aſide.

Bond

Here’s a Tale of a Tub indeed, where is ſhe now?

La. Tem

I fancy gone to take a turn in the Garden.

Bond

Boy, go call her.

La. Tem

What’s the Boy a Fool? ’Tis not convenient for him to go, he ſhan’t go.

Bond

Heyday! my Lady Temptyouth, are you to order every thing in my Houſe?

La. Tem

I will order things when Decency requires; look to end Diſputes, here the good Lady comes.

Enter Olivia.

Oliv

I heard the Bell had rung, and haſten’d to my Dear.

Bond

My Devil.

Oliv

Such Anſwess would make a Woman mad.

La. Tem

You have got a pure colour, Olivia.

Aſide to Olivia.

Oliv

Pho, walking apace.

But, my Lady, how ſhall I get him out, there’s no opening that Door and the other way lies through this Room?

La. Tem

why, what’s he afraid on, isn’t my Lord blind, where is the Fool?

Oliv

Speak ſoftly, walking at the Door.

La. Tem

Let me come by; Who have we here? my French Taylor has follow’d me hither about the Girl’s Stays; Oh the Impudence of theſe Country-men! Monſieur, go to my Houſe agen, I’ll come home preſently.

Count 14 C3v 14 Count Andrea paſſes over the Stage, and kiſſes Olivia’s Hand.

And

Pardon a moy, Madam.

La. Tem

Pardon a moy kether, rude Brute! I’m ſure I am not like moſt Quality, I owe him nothing.

Bond

Count Andrea, my Wife’s firſt Love! Oh, the Garden, the Devil! curſt, curſt Gervatio.

La. Tem

What mean theſe ſtarts of Paſſion? do you want Gervatio?

Bond

I want a Halter.

La. Tem

Wou’d you had one then, you’re croſs enough to deſerve it.

Bond

Some-body, I’m ſure, does.

Enter a Servant.

Serv

My Lord Inſuls is juſt arriv’d.

Bond

Let me deſire all this Company, except my Daughter, to retire, I’ve made up the buſineſs with my Lord’s Father, there wants nothing but a Viſit or two, which formality requires: Come, Mrs. Crooked-rib, will you walk into the next Room?

Oliv

I’m ready to wait on you.

Aria

Oh, my Lady Temptyouth, now my Plague’s a coming.

Aſide.

La. Tem

Have Patience, Child, and I’ll ſend Fidelio to thy aid.

Bond

D’ye hear, Miſtreſs, receive this Lord as the man I have unalterably reſolv’d ſhall be your Husband.

Aria

Yes, Sir.

Bond

Yes, Sir; what a tone’s that in! I think you’re but too well, and Eſtate, a Title, and an handſom fellow.

Aria

Pray add an empty Pate.

Bond

Goodlack, Mrs. Flippant, any other Woman would have leapt at him; upon my Bleſſing uſe him as he deſerves. Come, my Lady Temptyouth.

Exeunt all but Ariana.

Aria

As he deſerves, that is to be cudgel’d. Now I had rather have the Viſits of fifty Goſſips from a drunken Chriſtening, than the Plague of this Prince of Fops: Hang it, I’ll bridle my Inclination, let him run on with his Vanity, then burſt my Sides with laughing at him.

Enter my Lord Inſuls, with ſeveral Attendants.

Inſ

This is prodigiouſly opportune, by the Muſes, to find your Ladiſhip alone, Powderwell, adjuſt my Garnature, I beg your Ladiſhips Pardon, that I do any thing of this kind before your Ladiſhip; but there was an uncivil Wind, as I paſſed the great Court, has blown me into the very diſabilee, of the vile Mob.

Aria

I can’t perceive an Error in your Lordſhips Dreſs.

Inſ

Your Ladiſhips very humble Servant, by the Muſes, I am all in confuſion; I beg your Ladiſhips Pardon takes out his Pocket-glaſs. For this freedom before you, but ’tis that I would not appear negligent in your Ladiſhips preſence.

Aria. 15 C4r 15

Aria

What a nauſeous Fool ’tis. Aſide

My Lord, methinks you’re very well.

Inſ

’Tis your goodneſs, Madam, poiſon me if I don’t look like a Carrman; I look moſt abominably, by the Muſes: Was your Ladiſhip Never in France, Madam?

Aria

No, my Lord.

Inſ

There a Man will keep his Chamber three days, if his Complexion is out of order; they are not arriv’d to that nicety of Perfection here.

Aria

’Tis pitty your Lordſhip does not inſtruct our young Nobility.

Inſ

I am not ſparing of my Advice, Madam; ſome I find very tractable, there’s my Lord Dreſſwell has conſulted my Judgment in laying out above a brace of thouſand pounds in Clothes, I believe the World, eſpecially the Ladies, will own ’tis to his advantage.

Aria

Yes, and a good help towards ſpending his Eſtate, which, I’m inform’d, will be gone before he’s five and twenty. Aſide.

None doubts your Lordſhips skill in thoſe Affairs.

Inſ

But of all the moving lumps of Earth, commend me to the Engliſh, thoſe awkward Imitators, by the Muſes, Madam, there’s ſcarce one in ten underſtands the Dreſs, the Dancing, the Singing, thoſe chief parts of a Man of Quality; the Duce take me if I was not afraid they had infected me, and when I return’d into France, liv’d a whole month retir’d, had all my Maſters, practis’d every Coupee before I durſt appear among the Ladies; yet, by the Muſes, I know not how long I ſhunn’d my ſelf; methought I had the Brutal Plague upon me. I beg your Ladiſhips Pardon for troubling you with a deſcription of the dull Northern fellows.

Aria

Every thing your Lordſhip ſays is agreeable, I obſerve very pretty Aſſe you you have, by the Muſes.

Inſ

Does your Ladiſhip like it? Indeed I think it ſounds better in the mouth of a Man of Quality than Damn me, Rot me, and ſuch Porter-like Expreſſions.

Aria

Oh, better much, my Lord; I have a ſhrewd ſuſpicion you that mention the Muſes ſo often have a familiar acquaintance with ’em, and write.

Inſ

I write like a man of Quality, to pleaſe my ſelf.

Aria

I dare ſwear ’twill ne’er pleaſe any-body elſe. Aſide

Wou’d not your Lordſhip oblige me with the ſight of ſome entertaining Poetry?

Inſ

By no means, I beg your Ladiſhip’s Pardon, ’twill ſpoil Converſation, I can ſend your Ladiſhip ſeveral gilt Quires ſcribbl’d over, if you Ladiſhip’s a lover on’t; moſt of what I write is Satyr upon ill dreſt fellows, and then, by the Muſes, the nauſeous Subject makes me ſo ſick, I cannot forbear being ſpiteful too, and criticiſe upon what others write.

Aria

That’s the fault of all great Wits, methinks their good Nature ſhould balance their Judgment.

Inſ

Good Nature, Madam, why that’s only the civiler word for a Fool: If your Ladiſhip did but ſee in France how the poor Poets at a new Play ſneak, and wou’d creep 16 C4v 16 creep into an Augur-hole; when I come in, by the Muſes, I have often wiſh’d my my ſelf a Woman, that I might have gone in a Mask, and not frighten the little Dogs (that write for Bread) out of their Wits.

Aria

Does your Lordſhip never write Plays?

Inſ

Yes, often, but I could never get either of the Houſes to play one.

Aria

What’s the reaſon of that?

Inſ

Can’t your Ladiſhip gueſs?

Aria

No, I proteſt.

Inſ

It will favour too much of Vanity to tell youu.

Aria

Pray, my Lord, you have ſet me a longing.

Inſ

I muſt run the riſque of every thing, rather than deny a Lady: Then truly, Madam, I believe they think, and that wiſely, ſhould they once play a Play of mine no other would ever be receiv’d afterwards, and, you know, a man of Quality can’t be their Drudge.

Aria

Very true, that is a ſubſtantial Reaſon.

Inſ

But, Madam, I know not how you have betray’d me into theſe things, when I deſign’d to have imploy’d my minutes much more agreeably, in telling your Ladiſhip, I adore you to an infinite degree.

Aria

His Courtſhip will be worſe than all the reſt of his Nonſence, Heaven ſend me a deliverance. Aſide

My Lord, a perſon of your merit cannot value one ſo unpoliſh’d, Nature has neglected me, and I have neglected Art.

Inſ

Oh fie, Madam, this is Blaſphemy, they are both Rivals in your Perfections. But were it what you ſay, which I poſitively deny, by the Muſes, when I have the Honour to call you mine, I ſay, if you did want Inſtructions, the rectitude of your Dreſs ſhould be my care.

Aria

Rude Fool, I have no patience. Aſide.

Inſ

Madam, you ſeem uneaſie.

Aria

It’s want of Breeding then.

Inſ

Gad, I believe ſo too, for I never ſaw a Woman in my company ſo before. Madam, you’l break your Fann. Aſide.

Aria

No matter, ’tis paid for.

I can act the diſſembling part no longer. aſide.

Inſ

She’s ſtrangely alter’d, jealous ſhe can’t keep me to her ſelf; her Fancy’s at work; there’s nothing out of order in my Wig ſure.

Pulls out his Glaſs. Enter Fidelio.

Aria

Oh Fidelio, do ſomething, do any thing to that Animal, and let me be gone, for I am teaſed to death.

Exit Ariana.

Fid

Gad, I know not what to do but affront him; flatter him I can’t, ’tis not in my Nature.

Inſ

Every Hair, I proteſt, is in as perfect Symmetry as my Features, as I was ſaying, Madam.

Fid

As I was going to ſay, Sir.

Inſ. Sir, 17 D1r 17

Inſ

Sir! hey, what rude Brute have we here? Aſide.

Friend, wou’d you ſpeak with my Gentleman, or the Groom of my Chambers? there they ſtand both.

Fid

There let ’em be damn’d both; no, ’tis you, Eſſence and no Brains, I ſpeak to; Shadow of a Man, vainer than Woman, emptier than the Plumes thou wear’ſt. Thou thing, doſt thou pretend to court that Lady which went out juſt now?

Inſ

If the Lady went away, I ſuppoſe ſhe knew you better than I, and avoided ſo rough a fellow.

Fid

Inſolent!

Inſ

Something near my Name, tho’ ſtill without my Title.

Fid

Well, Sir.

Inſ

Barbarous!

Fid

Did you not receive a Letter ſigned Fidelio, which told you my Birth was noble as the firſt Venetians, tho my ſunk Fortunes were now my Foe, yet Ariana, that all-generous Maid, through my dejected Poverty ſmiled on my conſtant Love, and gave me Hopes. I beg ye to deſiſt, elſe let you know, that my Life muſt firſt be had before the glorious Prize; read you not that Letter?

Inſ

Something I do remember of ſuch a Paper, but I ſaw it was a Man’s Hand, and gave it my Valet to peruſe, and asking him if there was any thing in it to divert me, he ſaid, No; ſo I ne’er thought on’t more.

Fid

Now you have heard the Contents, pray diſmiſs your numerous Attendants, and meet or go with me to the Field that lies behind the Lemon-Grove, where this Diſpute ſhall inſtantly be ended.

Inſ

What’s the man mad? wouu’d ye have me fight in this Wig?

Fid

Why not?

Inſ

Oh Heaven’s! any thing towards a violent motion would raiſe ſuch a Duſt out on’t, I ſhou’d be kill’d in a miſt.

Fid

Pho, pho, we’ll call at my Lodgings, and you ſhall put on one of mine.

Inſ

Poiſon me if ever I heard the like, prithee where doſt think I was bred? wear another man’s Wig, when the beſt Barber in Venice knows, that after he has alter’d, amended, reform’d, and modell’d a new Wig for me half a Year, it is with much perſwaſion I try it.

Fid

Here’s a deal of Nonſence, come, what a pox muſt we do then, for fight you I am reſolv’d, or kick and poſt you thro’ the Streets of Venice.

Inſ

By the Muſes, I know not what to ſay; in France I have a Campaign for the bloody purpoſe, ’tis ſo neceſſary, yet ſo becoming, ſeveral Marſnals of France have been ready to pull me to pieces for it; there I have alſo fighting Shoes, fighting Gloves, fighting Sword, &c. and, in fine, can in a moment be equipp’d flawed-reproductionChevalier: Travelling now like a Man of Quality, and to obtain my Miſtreſs, I left my War- like Habiliments behind; if you’ll have Patience, I’ll ſend poſt for ’em.

Fid

Incorrigible Fool! No, Sir, I give you but till to morrow to anſwer me, and that you may be ſure not to forget the Affront, there’s a Remembrance upon your Noſe, tweaks him by the Noſe and another upon your backſide. kicks him. and a warm one for your Cheek. gives him a box on the Ear.

D Inſ. Well, 18 D1v 18

Inſ

Well Tarpaulin, Monſter, half Fiſh half Man, I’ll be reveng’d, I will Villain, there’s thoſe ſhall puniſh ye; hey my Attendants.

Exit Lord Inſuls.

Fid

Now this fellow goes directly to my Ariana’s Father; ſure her Love will inſpire me to counterplot one Rival-fool.

By Force or Wit his Claim he ſhall decline;

If Heaven is juſt, the Virgin muſt be mine.

The End of the Second Act.

Act III.

Scene draws. Bondi ſitting in a Chair. Enter Ariana, near the Audience.

Aria

Humph, my Father here already! I did not think he had been come into this Room; he can’t ſee me, and I will ſteal ſoftly through, he ſhan’t hear me neither. Aſide.

As ſhe’s about the middle of the Stage.

Bond

Who’s there?

Aria

What ſhall I do now? I’ll counterfeit Madge the Dairy-maid’s Voice, for if he knows me, I ſhan’t get from him the Lord knows when. Aſide.

Speaks broad.

’Tis I, my Lord, I did not think any of the Gentry had been come into this Parlour, ſo I went this way to ſerve my Pullein; Iſe warrant Iſe come no more here.

Runs ſtamping off, Bondi throws his Cane after her.

Bond

Oh, diſſembling Baggage? Are all blind men ſervd thus? Two ſuch Women as my Wife and Daughter are enough to make twenty Men mad.

Enter a Servant.

Serv

My Lord, ſome Company from the Duke, and with them the famous Oculiſt Gonſalvo ſpoke of.

Bond

So, now my greateſt Misfortune is falling upon me. Aſide.

Call my Family together, and go to Gervatio, bid him, as he values his Life, conſider what I ſaid to him, and haſten to me.

Exit Servant.

The Impoſture known, Boys will hoot me out of Venice; then, to have an unskilfulskilful 19 D2r 19 skilful Man put me to intolerable pain, perhaps real Blindneſs, Stamps Oh! I ſhall go mad.

Enter Olivia, Actwell dreſs’d like a Doctor, and ſeveral others.

I know not a Face of thoſe, ſure my Friends are afraid to come, the Operation is ſo dangerous. Aſide.

Oliv

How d’ye, my Dear, were you in a paſſion juſt now?

Bond

I found by Inſtinct you were near me, and that made me Horn mad.

Oliv

Humph, I am a Fool to ſpeak to you at all.

Bond

You are a Fool, a groſs one, becauſe you diſſemble poorly; but, blind as I am, I can ſee thro’ it.

Oliv

What does he mean? he can’t be jealous of Count Andrea, becauſe he never ſaw him. Aſide.

Well, my Dear, I conſider your Condition, and will bear with your peeviſh Humour. Here’s ſome Gentlemen, and a famous Oculiſt, ſent by the Duke, to look into your Eyes.

Bond

Peace, Scriech-owl, I am in pain enough already.

Oliv

I hope he will give you eaſe, my Lord. Sir, pleaſe to look into my Husband’s Eyes.

Actw

Fear not, my Lord, putting your ſelf into my Hands, ſhou’d I, or ſome of thoſe Gentlemen that have travel’d with me, recount the Wonders I have done, you wou’d rejoyce at your good Fortune in meeting with me. There’s the Emperor of Germany’s Aunt, threeſcore and ten, was led about ſtone blind twenty Years; I came, and in a few weeks time made ſo perfect a Cure, that ſhe has ſince work’d her Nephew a Point Cravat. I take out Specks where no body elſe can ſee ’em.

Bond

That will be my Caſe. Aſide.

Actw

Oh, the ſweet Duke of Tuſcany! what a Film did I clear his Eyes of! the Good of Mankind prevail’d with me, or elſe ’twas hard to get from him.

Bond

Mr. Doctor, I don’t doubt your Skill, but I had rather wait the Will of Heaven for the reſtoring my Sight.

Actw

By your Leave, my Lord, I am Heaven’s Inſtrument, and here’s the Duke’s Command to do my beſt for you. Gentlemen, draw near, and hold him in the Chair, while I look in his Eyes.

Bond

I ſhall be murder’d here.

Struggles.

Oliv

Pray, my Dear, be rul’d.

Bond

Jezebel!

Actw

Ay, ay, here it is, a huge Speck, juſt growing on the Ball of his Sight, the worſt of black Catarachs, but I ſhall out with him: let’s ſee, how is t’other Eye? Oh Lorder, further gone! Well, you may bleſs your Stars that you met with me as you did, or elſe you had never ſeen in this World agen.

Bond

I am contented with my preſent condition, and deſire to ſpeak with the Duke before you meddle with me.

D2 Actw.My 20 D2v 20

Actw

My Lord, your condition is a deſperate condition, and the Duke ſhall ſee ſome of my Art before you ſpeak with him.

Looking out his Inſtruments.

Bond

Oh the Devil! I ſhall be ruin’d, where’s this Dog Gervatio?

Aſide.

Actw

When I have couched your Eyes, my Lord, you muſt lye upon your Back for ſix weeks, and be fed with nothing but a Feather.

Bond

Oh!

Enter Ariana and Fidelio.

Aria

Why you us’d him moſt inhumanly, I fear he’l complain to the old Gentleman. Heyday, what have we here, my Father in the hands of the Philiſtins! Stay, don’t you ſpeak till ſome time after me. What’s the matter, Sir?

Bond

So, here’s another of my Comforts, with her Beggar at her Tail. Aſide.

The matter! here’s a Fellow will Mangle my eyes whether I will or no.

Fid

Can I ſerve you, Sir?

Bond

Yes, if you I beat that fellow.

Actw

How! beat me, that have the Badges of all the Princes of Europe, Aſia, Africa, and America! Come, come, I find my Lord’s mad; pray, Gentlemen, help me to bind him in his Chair.

Bond

Murder, murder! then, to tell you the truth, I am not blind.

Gervatio entering.

Gerv

Nay, then ’tis time for me to appear.

Aſide.

Bond

I tell you I am not blind.

Actw

Pho, pho, this is only his fear.

Oliv

Nothing elſe, you may aſſure your ſelves.

Aria

Well ſaid, Mother, I think you may be pretty confident on’t, for no man that cou’d have ſeen would have had Patience to have born what you have acted before his Face.

Gerv

Make way there, let me come at my dear-lov’d Maſter, the ſacred Girdle of St. Silveſter, brought by two holy Men, is juſt arriv’d; a new unuſual Light ſtruck thro’ the Hall, and I could ſee as if I had ten pairs of Eyes, ſo light, ſo glorious was the place; ’tis lodg’d i’th’ Chappel, whither the Prieſts deſire you all to repair, and invoke the power of the Saint.

Actw

A Pox of thoſe Miracles; d’ye hear, if your Saint does you no good, don’t ſend for me, for, by Belzebub, I’ll not come at ye.

Gerv

Rarely perform’d, I’ll ſpeak with ye by and by.

Aſide.
Exit Actwell.

Bond

Thy Hand, Gervatio, I tremble every Joynt of me; thou art a Rogue, but I forgive thee. Come, Gentlewomen, tho’ I believe your Prayers ſignifie but little.

Exeunt Bondi and Gervatio.

Aria

Madam, what think you of this miraculous Girdle?

Oliv

I don’t uſe to have a great Opinion of thoſe things, but we ſhall ſee what Wonders this will do.

Fid. 21 D3r 21

Fid

I think the whole Story is all a Wonder.

Oliv

When your Father cry’d out, he was not blind, I was terribly frighted.

Aria

I believe you was, Madam.

Fid

I’ll try to engage Gervatio farther in our Intereſt, then we ſhall know all.

Aria

Come, come, if we ſtay longer, I’m ſure we ſhall be miſs’d.

Exeunt. Scene changes to my Lady Temptyouth’s Houſe, Lucinda at a Dreſſing-Table. Enter Lady Temptyouth.

La. Tem

How is it, my Bloſſom? Let me ſee, has not ſitting up at the Ball laſt night ſpoil’d thy Complexion? No, not a bit: Oh, I cou’d kiſs thy pretty Eyes out.

Lucin

How can your Ladiſhip tell my Complexion is not ſpoil’d? I have got both my white and red on, Madam.

La. Tem

Oh, that’s nothing Chicken, there’s a Vivacity ſtrikes through, and thy pretty Eyes are as ſprightly, as if thou hadſt drank Nectar this Morning. Come, what Conqueſts did you make laſt night? You know there lies my Pleaſure, to hear of your Victories.

Lucin

There was my Lord Dreſſwell ſaid a thouſand fooliſh things to me.

La. Tem

Pho, hang him, he’s going down the World, he’s neither fit for Husband nor Cully; think not of him, I charge thee, Lucinda.

Lucin

I ſhall never think of any without your Ladiſhips directions.

La. Tem

That’s my good Girl; well, but was there none elſe?

Lucin

Yes, there was the Duke’s ſecond Son, he only bluſh’d when he came near me, trembled when he touch’d my Hand, danc’d with ſuch concern, that I thought he would have fallen.

La. Tem

Ha, ha, ha, the Fool’s in love, I’ll put him down in my Table-book, he may prove conſiderable.

Lucin

As for the reſt, ſome ſwore they hated me, others I was not pretty; ſo thro’ a Medly of Confuſion every one endeavour’d to expreſs their Admiration.

La. Tem

Thou art a dear, dear Charmer; well, I ſwear I love thee better than any of the little creatures I ever brought up before.

Lucin

I thank my beſt Mother.

La. Tem

Nay, thy own Mother was a pure good Woman, only her barbarous Friends turn’d her out of Doors for having ſuch a pretty Rogue as thee: I kept her, poor Lady, till ſhe died.

Enter a Servant.

Serv

My Lady Olivia Bondi ſends to tell your Honour, That St. Silveſter’s wonderful Girdle has reſtor’d my Lord Bondi’s Sight, for which, at preſent, they are paying their Devotions this Afternoon, the Duke’s Muſick, Balls, and all Divertiſementstiſements 22 D3v 22 tiſements Venice will afford, fill my Lord Bondi’s Houſe; the Ladies deſire your Honour’s company, and the fair Lucinda’s.

La. Tem

Wel wait upon them, our Service to the Ladies.

Exit Servant.

Poor Olivia, her craſs Husband’s ſeeing will be but bad for her and Count Andrea: Hang’t, ’tis ſetting our Inventions a little more upon the ſtretch, and we ſhall outwit him ſtill. Ha! I have a Thought come into my Head for thy advantage, Lucinda. Here, Tifflewell, bring my Girl’s beſt Head, and all her Jewels. Oh, Lucinda, if thou canſt play one part to a Maſterpiece, I don’t doubt making thy Fortunes for ever.

Enter Tifflewell with the things.

Ah, Tifflewell! now ſhow thy utmoſt Art, and make thy Miſtreſs charming as an Angel.

Tiff

I warrant ye, Madam, ſuch a piece of Youth and Beauty to work upon, and fine Clothes, let me alone to make an Angel of her.

La. Tem

If thou canſt but humour it.

Lucin

Give me Inſtructions, Madam, I am not accounted backward.

La. Tem

No, no, thou’rt a dear forward Girl as Heart can wiſh; this would oblige our Friends, prove an everlaſting Proviſion for your ſelf, and raviſh me with Joy.

Lucin

But yet you won’t tell me what it is.

La. Tem

Dear Tifflewell, put another Jewel here.

Tiff

Pray your Honour let me have my own Fancy firſt.

La. Tem

Lucinda ſhall ſing, and Lucinda ſhall dance, and if they two, both in perfection, won’t charm himk, the Devil’s in’t.

Lucin

Sing and dance, is that all? I have done that often enough to no purpoſe already.

La. Tem

Yes, yes, thou ſhalt do more than that, my dear Chicken, can’t you put on a world of Affectation?

Lucin

With all the eaſe in the World: Alas, Madam, It was born with me, and I have as much ado in ſome meaſure to overcome it, as I have my Inclinations towards the eating green Fruit.

La. Tem

Affectation is a mighty Art, my Dear, and thoſe pretty Eyes muſt be manag’d a thouſand ſeveral ways, ſevere, languiſhant, ogling, darting their Beams, caſt around, and if they chance to meet, a Lover’s thrown with wondrous haſte and modeſty into your ſnowy Boſom.

Lucin

My Eyes, dear Mother, ever were at my Command, but never let Fools in them read my Heart: Thus I have look’d upon the man I ſcorn’d, thus on him I would not have believe my Love impoſſible, tho’ hard, to gain; kind and coming Looks I ſeldom uſe, I’m not arriv’d at that Age yet.

La. Tem

Dear Girl, you Aptneſs prevents the Care I would have undergone in your Directions, but you muſt be very ſure to rail, commend neither Man nor Woman, either in their Perſons or Dreſs, except my Lord, to whom you are are all the while addreſſing.

Lucin. 23 D4r 23

Lucin

I am glad ’tis a Lord, for I hate to take pains about a fellow that has no Title.

La. Tem

He has not only a Title, but an Eſtate, and every thing I cou’d wiſh for thee; Are you quite ready?

Lucin

Yes, Madam, do I look killing?

La. Tem

Like a Cherubim; come along.

Exeunt. Enter Count Andrea and Olivia.

Andr

Oh my Olivia! Bondi’s Sight reſtor’d deprives me ever of the Light of thoſe dear Eyes: I ne’er believ’d thoſe Miracles told by canting Prieſts, now Heaven, to puniſh my Incredulity, has ſent one that robs me of all my Bliſs, and nothing but the crowd, the noiſe of this wondrous Girdle brought, could have gain’d my Admittance now.

Oliv

My Lady Temptyouth is our Friend; beſide, theſe warm Deſires will ſoon grow cool, and then you will be glad of an Excuſe.

Andr

Never, Olivia, never; my Youth, my Life, my Fortunes, all are dedicated to thee.

La. Tem

within I ſay, my Lord, you ſhall not preſs into your Ladies Chamber till ſhe has word we are here.

Bond

withinSure this Woman intends to vex me ſtark mad.

Oliv

Oh Heavens, my Husband! what ſhall we do?

Andr

I’le get into the Cloſet.

Oliv

Alas, he has the Maſter-key.

Bond

within’Tis but in vain, Heaven has reſtor’d my Eyes, and I will ſee what is done in my Houſe.

Oliv

Good my Lord, under my Toylet, quick, quick.

Enter Lady Temptyouth, Bondi, and Lucinda.

La. Tem

And what wou’d you ſee now, your good Lady all alone, returning Heaven Thanks, I dare ſwear, for the wonderous Bleſſing you have receiv’d.

Bond

I’m ſure I ſaw the glipſe of a Man follow her to her Chamber.

Oliv

A Man with me!

La. Tem

Pho, Child, ’tis Jealouſie, he takes thy Shadow for a Man.

Bond

I’le look into this Cloſet, but not enter it, leſt you juggle him from under your Petticoats.

Olivia makes ſigns to Lady Temptyouth, that he is under the Toylet.

La. Tem

Come, is your Maggot over? will you down into the Dining-room, hear the practice of Muſick, and my Lucinda ſhall give you a Dance.

Bond

Dancing be damn’d, I’d as live ſee a Monkey leap from Tree to Tree.

La. Tem

Not even his Eyes agen will put this man into a good Humour. Well, I hope we have a noble Entertainment, according to the old Proverb, a Miſer’s Feaſt is always the beſt; will ye go down, or no?

Bond

No, I’ll dine here.

La. Tem

Seem willing, madam, ’tis the only way to prevent him.

Aſide.
Oliv. 24 D4v 24

Oliv

With all my Heart, for I hate much Company: Here Diego, and your fellow, carry this Table to the Dreſſing-room-door, a-top of the back Stairs, there Sylvia can thruſt it in, and bring the Side-board hither.

Enter Men, who carry off the Table, Lady Temptyouth going by the ſide.

La. Tem

Have a care you drop nothing.

Dieg

’Tis plaguy heavy.

Bond

You are wondrous forward, perhaps I won’t dine here when all is done.

Lucind

Heyday! ſure the old Gentleman does not know his own mind.

Bond

Goodlack, Mrs. Pert, are you ſetled in yours?

Lucind

If I am not, my Lord, my Years excuſe it.

Bond

One of your bringing up, my Lady Temptyouth, I ſuppoſe, becauſe ſhe is ſo briſk.

La. Tem

I’m not aſham’d to own her; yes, ’tis my dear Girl.

Serv

An’t pleaſe your Honour, my Lord Inſuls deſires to ſpeak with you, on very earneſt buſineſs.

Bond

I believe I may dare venture to go, for my Gipſie would never have been ſo willing I ſhould have dined here, if the Coaſt had not been clear. Aſide

Show me where he is.

Exit with the Servant.

Oliv

So, he is gone, I hope the Count is ſafe.

La. Tem

Yes, yes, I ſaw him ſlip down the back-ſtairs as ſoon as ever the Men were out of ſight.

Oliv

How do you do, pretty Lady, I ſcarce dare ſpeak to you before my Husband, he’s ſo peeviſh.

Lucind

Peeviſh, indeed I never ſaw ſuch a croſs old man in all my life.

Oliv

What would you do, my Dear, if your pretty Youth was confin’d to ſuch an one.

Lucind

O, I’d quickly ſend him to Heaven in a String; I’d have half a ſcore Gallants; Madam, if I did not teaze him to that degree, that in a months time he went to ſleep with his Fathers, hang me for a Fool.

Oliv

Thou art a Mad-cap.

La. Tem

Let us go down, for I have a Deſign upon that Lord Inſuls, which I’ll tell you as we walk.

Oliv

I am ready to wait upon you.

Exeunt. Scene Changes. Enter Bondi and Lord Inſuls.

Bond

Was ever ſuch Impudence, ſuch Diſobedience practis’d under one’s own Roof? Mercy on me! what will this World come to? A wanton Wife and an undutiful Daughter! the Plagues of Egypt were meer Flea-bitings to them.

Inſ. Nay, 25 E1r 25

Inſ

Nay, I thought your Lordſhip was not privy to the Affront, becauſe I knew your Lordſhip firſt propos’d the Match; indeed never man of Quality was ſo abu―― ſed; I would have fought the fellow, but that I fear’d, by his Carriage, he was a Scoundrel, and would diſgrace my Sword.

Bond

Oh, ’tis a vile Wretch, but I’ll be ſo reveng’d on him. My Lord, if yet you think my Daughter worthy, the Ball juſt ended, a Prieſt ſhall make her yours for ever, tho’ indeed ſhe ought to expect your Scorn and Hatred.

Inſ

My Education taught me never to bear Diſpleaſure againſt the fair Ladies, I ſhall wait with much Impatience and Joy till you ſummon me to the fair one.

Bond

My Lord, I beg you would go to the Company, whilſt I ſend for my Daughter, and give her a Leſſon, for I fear ſhe was at the bottom on’t. Call Ariana.To a Servant.

Inſ

I will leave ye pray be not too ſevere upon the Lady, I have a great reſpect for her; but for that rude fellow, by the Muſes, he deſerves kicking and pumping.

Exit L. Inſulls Enter Ariana.

Aria

Did you ſend for me, Sir?

Bond

Yes, Mrs. Manybetters, and-none worſe; how you are trick’d up! the Dancing, not your Father’s Sight reſtor’d, is your Joy: Are not you a Cockatrice? dare you look me in the Face after what you have done?

Aria

Done, my Lord!

Bond

Yes done, Minx, you and your beggerly Brave abuſe a man of Quality, Fortune and Honour.

Aria

Has the Baby been to tell its Tale then?

Bond

D’ye make a Jeſt on’t Huſwife? Hear what I ſay, and mark it: This night thou ſhalt be my Lord Inſulls Wife, or elſe, by Heaven, I’ll turn thee looſe into the wide Streets of Venice, ſtript of all Means, all Comforts, there to get thy Bread amongſt thy fellow-proſtitutes, but never own thee for my Daughter more.

Aria

Theſe are cruel ſounds, they ſtrike through my ſoul, and dead my ſence. Oh, Sir, hear your only Child; you us’d to ſay you lov’d me, if I have loſt that Bleſſing, let Compaſſion plead, heap on me all puniſhments, ſpare me but in this; let not my Youth be condemn’d to what I loath, to ſuch a Fool, a Blockhead, Coward.

Bond

Rebellious Witch!

Aria

Conſider, Sir, you force me on the Road to Hell, for my ſtrong Averſion needs muſt lead me on to Murders, Adulteries, or ſuch horrid Crimes that will ſurely plunge me there.

Bond

Let go, ſtand off, for as I have a Soul, this night you are married, or ten thouſand real Miſchiefs ſhall befal thee.

Exit Bond.

Aria

Miſchief is already on me, laſting Miſchief, fix’d for Life, a Husband whom I ſhall ever hate and all the World will ſtill deſpiſe, all my cheerful hours are for ever fled, Fate has not one in ſtore: Then let their Revels ſhake the Houſe E with 26 E1v 26 with noiſie pleaſure, fix’d on this wretched Earth, ſo ſtupified I’ll grow, till I can work my melancholy Thought to fancy I’m a piece on’t.

Enter Gervatio.

Gerv

What’s here, my charming young Miſtreſs on the Ground, ſhe that us’d to enliven all the World, now, when there reigns a general Joy, ſunk in Sorrow? Riſe, dear Madam, riſe.

Aria

Never.

Lifts her up.

Gerv

I’ll try that; come Madam, what’s the cauſe of this dejection? did I not receive from you a noble Preſent? Come, pray believe me yours, and tell me what’s the matter.

Aria

If I durſt truſt thee, but ’tis no Secret; my Father has ſworn I this night ſhall wed Inſulls.

Gerv

And you had rather have Fidelio.

Aria

Rather, oh, there is no comparison.

Gerv

Smile then and you ſhall; but, udsfflawed-reproductionh, I’ll do nnothing without you are merry.

Aria

Were I rid of the fear of Inſulls, I could leap over the Moon.

Gerv

Let me ſee, does not this Lord Inſulls pretend to Poetry?

Aria

Moſt intolerably.

Gerv

And is he not vain upon it?

Aria

As all Wou’d-be-wits are.

Gerv

Then, dear madam, let your Troubles end, and be as brisk as your ſweet natural Temper incites, I warrant your Lumber of a Lover ſafe enough from diſturbing you when the Ball’s done.

Aria

O that I could believe thee.

Gerv

You’d believe me when by my ſole contrivance the Parſon hath conjur’d you between a pair of ſheets in Fidelio’s Arms; ah! methinks I ſee you laid on the delicious Scene.

Aria

Go, you are a Talker: Then I am to know nothing of your plot.

Gerv

Not till you hear of the ſucceſs to the Company, ſweet Madam. Yonder the Hall’s as full as it can hold, the Muſick’s a thrumming, the Gallants are ogling, my Lady Temptyouth as buſie as a Bee, there wants nothing but you to crown the Aſſembly.

Aria

I’m gone; remember, if you fail my Heart’s broke.

Gerv

Let your Heart be as light as your Heels, and fear nothing, fair Lady.

Aria

Take this and be careful.

Gives him Mony, and exit.

Gerv

I would not be old Bondi’s faithful Fool agen for the World, there’s ſome delight a Guſto in ſerving theſe young generous ſouls: Well, Brains, if e’er you’d do me ſervice, let it be now, help me to baulk this fooliſh Lord.

Fix ſoft Ariana where her Wiſhes tend,

So ſhe ſecures a Lover, I a Friend.

The End of the Third Act.

ACT 27 E2r 27

Act. IV.

Scene a Hall. Wherein is Bondi, Count Andrea, Lord Inſulls, Fidelio, and ſeveral other Gentlemen; Olivia, Ariana, Lady Temptyouth, Lucinda, with many other Ladies.

Bond

Count Andrea is your Gueſt, I ſuppoſe.

to Olivia.

Oliv

My Lord!

La. Tem

No, he is my Gueſt, ſure for the many Eſtates I have help’d you to for half the worth of ’em, you may allow me to bring one Friend.

Bond

Your Ladiſhip’s alwaies my Friend, I thank you. Come, why don’t this Dancing go on? if your heels wou’d wag, ’tis to be hoped you would be tir’d and ha’ done once.

Songs, and a dance by Lucinda and a French Beau.

Inſ

to Lucinda Heavens, Madam! I have ſeen nothing ſo raviſhly fine, nothing like itflawed-reproductionby the Muſes; ſince I left Verſailles, ’twou’d be impertinence to the higheſt degree to ask if your Ladiſhip was not bred in France.

Luc

Oh, the Paradiſe of the World bred there, my Lord: Yes, my Mother was ſo nice ſhe had me nurs’d in France; I warrant ſhe would not let me ſuck’d any other than French Milk for a Principality.

Inſ

A witty Woman, by the Muſes, and charmingly pretty: Then your Ladiſhip underſtands the French Freedom and Gallantry? According to thoſe Rules, pray Madam, number me amongſt your humbleſt Servants.

Luc

With all my Heart, there’s a Favour to diſtinguiſh you. Gives a Ribbon. No more words now we are obſerv’d.

La. Tem

Well done, my Lucinda, ſhe’s at him, i’faith, my Maidenhead to an Eggſhell he’s her own.

aſide. E2 To 28 E2v 28 To Oliv.

This is dull doings, Madam, I wiſh I could part the Company, ſend thoſe Gravities to tope their Noſes, and get our ſelves a little freedom.

Oliv

I wiſh you cou’d, Madam; poor Ariana has not ſpoke a word ſince ſhe came into the Hall.

La. Tem

I’le try: Well, now I vote that the Gentlemen and Ladies that have danc’d retire into the drawing Room, and recruit with Sweetmeats and cool Wines, and the old Dons take up their Smoaking-room, and drink luſty Chiaux, Bagrag, and the warmeſt Wines my Lord Melito Bondi’s Cellar affords.

Andr

Spoke like an Oracle.

Bond

Spoke like a Devil, putting all the young ones together; but this is the laſt day of her Reign, for I’le forbid her my Houſe, tho’ I loſe Ten thouſand Crowns a Year by it.

Aſide.

An old Senator

I like the motion well, for, by my holy Dame, I am tir’d with ſeeing nothing but hip hop, hip hop.

La. Tem

Come, come, you as becomes you, your Age and Quality firſt.

Driving out the old Men.

Bond

The Devil take thee.

Aſide.

La. Tem

Now pair all, and follow your Leader.

Inſ

I’le let Ariana ſee I ſtomach the Affront.

To Lucin.

Madam, may I crave the honour of your Hand?

Luc

Yes Gallant, ’tis at your ſervice.

Exeunt omnes but Fidelio and Ariana.

Aria

Did you ſee my Fool ſtrut by with Lucinda? Now he is vain enough to fancy I will be jealous.

Fid

He is not worth a Thought.

Aria

Alas, you know not how formidable he is; my Father, with the diſmal’ſt Threats that Man could utter, has ſworn to marry me to him this very Evening, as ſoon as the Ball is over.

Fid

Hell and Furies! Ill cut his Throat immediately.

Aria

Hold, hold, Gervatio with much aſſurance promis’d me a deliverance, have a little patience, ſuch deſperate Attempts will ruine all.

Fid

Doſt think I’le ſtand by and ſee thee loſt?

Aria

Nor will I tamely yield; but now let’s be calm, and the Company, methinks I have great Faith in Gervatio’s Promiſes.

Fid

And I have Faith in thee; but, oh, if power ſhould overcome madneſs, Deſpair and Death would ſeize me.

Lady Temptyouth peeping.

La. Tem

Where are you, Chickens? Come hither, or ſpight of me, the old man will rouze ye.

Aria

We come.

Exeunt. Scene 29 E3r 29 Scene changes. Enter Gervatio, Stretchwell, and Heardouble.

Gerv

Mr. Stretchwell, and Mr. Heardouble, you underſtand your buſineſs.

Stretch

Ay ſure, or elſe we ſpent our Lives to very little purpoſe.

Gerv

Well, here I plant ye, and bring the Lord Inſuls; if he owns he made the Libel call’d The preſent ſtate of Venice, you know what you have to do.

Heard

Yes, yes, truſs him up for Treaſon.

Stretch

Hurry him away to Priſon without Bail or Mainpriſe.

Gerv

Right, behind thoſe Hangings conceal your ſelves, I’ll bring him as ſoon as poſſible.

Stretch

His buſineſs ſhall be done I’ll warrant thee, old boy.

Gerv

And you rewarded.

Exit Gervatio.

Heard

Well, Brother, we are a great Prop to this State, Venice had long ago moulder’d into its watry Foundation, if we Informers had not ſupported it from ten thouſand Treaſons.

Stretch

Doſt think think this Lord Inſuls is guilty or not?

Heard

What matter is’t? he’s rich, and we’l fleece him.

Stretch

I hate a poor Dog, that pretends to be in a Plot.

Heard

Impudent Varlets! when they han’t Mony enough to pay their Fees, they’l undertake to turn Governments upſide down.

Stretch

Hark, I hear a noiſe, to our Poſts.

They abſcond. Enter Lord Inſulls and Gervatio.

Gerv

My Lord, I humbly ask your pardon, for drawing your Honour from the bright Aſſembly, but I underſtand you are in a fair way to be Heir-apparent to all my old Maſter’s Wealth: I have been a long and faithful Servant here, and may prevail with old Bondi to drop more Bags than he deſign’d.

Inſ

Honeſt Gervatio, thou art kind, but the young Lady uſes me moſt ſcurvily, by the Muſes, ſhe muſt expect, whemn I am her Husband, that in return of her ſcorn I treat her with Indifference.

Gerv

She deſerves it; good Heavens! ſlight ſuch Worth as yours!

Inſ

Nay, by the Muſes, Gervatio, without boaſting, I may ſay, all the Courts in Chriſtendom have admird my Perſon, Parts, and Dreſs.

Gerv

No doubt, my Lord, your Lordſhip has ſuch an Oath ſets my mouth all on Water, by the Muſes: Oh, I had a deviliſh ſmatt’ring at ’em in my Youth, but hard Fate threw me upon Units, Tens, and the Gargon of accounts, when I long’d to have been rhiming: I am ſure your Honour writes, O that I cou’d be ſo happy to peruſe ſome of your incomparable lines.

Inſ

What I write is all light Satyr, if your Fancy’s that way, I can ſend you Reams of cover’d Paper.

Gerv 30 E3v 30

Gerv

Is it ſo light Satyr, i’faith? ha, ha, ha, nay, then I ſmell a Rat indeed, they ſed ’twas a Stranger did it.

Inſ

What d’ye mean?

Gerv

As if you did not know, that exquiſite, elaborate, moſt ingenious piece, call’d The preſent ſtate of Venice, wherein the Satyr is ſo winning, ſo inſtructive, ſo reforming, as I may ſay, that the Duke is pleasd with it to that degree, he has promis’d his fair Daughter’s Picture-ſet round with Diamonds, in a Gold Chain that goes fifteen times about the Neck to the Man that will own himſelf the Author.

Inſ

He, he, he, does that Trifle make ſuch a noiſe? Alas, I have writ Five hundred better than that.

Gerv

Impoſſible, but we owe this to your Lordſhip, I’m ſure.

Inſ

Yes, the Lines are mine, but I care not to expoſe my Name, I want not the Duke’s Preſent, Gervatio.

Gerv

No, my Lord!

Both the Informers run out, and clap two Piſtols to his Head.

Inſ

What’s the matter, Gentlemen?

Stretch

Hold your Tongue, Sirrah, make no noiſe nor reſiſtance, if you do, one of theſe ſends your Poetical Brains into the Air immediately.

Heard

Here’s a Rogue for ye, Brother! he ſed he had made Five thouſand Libels on the Duke and Senate.

Stretch

Ay, ay, he ſhall have his Reward, a Halter inſtead of a Gold Chain.

Inſ

Why Gentlemen, to tell you the truth, I did not write the Verſes.

Stretch

Every Malefactor can deny his Crime

Inſ

Oh Gervatio! what’s the meaning of all this?

Gerv

Heavens! my Lord, I am as much amaz’d as you, theſe fellows have betray’d me, they told me the Poetry was ador’d by the Duke and Senate, and I ſhould have a ſwindging Reward if I could diſcover the Author; my buſineſs was always to get Mony, my Lord, and I hoped to have done my ſelf a Kindneſs and your Lordſhip an Honour.

Inſ

Yes, you have honour’d me, I thank ye, put me in a fair way to be hang’d: Good Gentlemen, remove theſe horrid Inſtruments of death a little further, they put my Peruke quite out of the curl; and my Body in ſuch violent ſweats, I shan’t be able to come near the Ladies agen this fortnight.

Heard

Oh, there’s no Ladies where you are a going, come along.

Gerv

Fear not, my Lord, I’ll get you Bail.

Stretch

How, going to whiſper the Priſoner! here’s another Fiddle will make ye dance farther off.

Pulls out another Piſtol.

Gerv

O Lord, O Lord, I never could endure the Noſe of Belzebub againſt my precious perſon.

runs off.

Heard

Come, let’s have him the back way, leſt he alarm the Houſe.

Stretch. 31 E4r 31

Stretch

Shall we put him in the Dungeon?

Inſ

Good Gentlemen, conſider my Ball-clothes.

Stretch

Here’s a Fellow taking care of his Clothes when his Life is in danger.

Heard

Well, Brother, according as his pockets are lined, he ſhall be uſed.

Stretch

Ay, ay, away with him.

Inſ

Pray leave haling, me, I’ll go quietly.

Stretch

You’d beſt.

Exeunt. Scene draws, and diſcovers Olivia, Lady Temptyouth, Ariana, Lucinda, Ladies; Andrea, Fidelio, Gentlemen; a Side-table, with Wine.

Aria

Madam, ſhan’t we beg a Song of the charming Lucinda?

La. Tem

Not till my Lord comes, I have told ye my deſign.

Aſide to Ariana.

Aria

And I like it extreamly.

Enter Bondi, the old Senator, and a Prieſt.

Aria

Heavens! look Fidelio, what’s that ſtalks behind my Father, a Prieſt?

Fid

The Devil it is.

Aria

I fear there’s miſchief’s toward.

Bond

As the day has paſſed in Joy, ſo, I hope, ’twill have a joyful end, for I deſign before all theſe Witneſſes to marry my Daughter, the young Lord Inſulls is the Bridegroom, his Father and I long ago concluded it, only my Infirmity deferred the matter.

Old Sen

Ay, let’s have a Wedding, the thoughts on’t makes my old Blood dance.

Andr

Rather the ſtrong Wines work upon your weak Brain.

La. Tem

The Devil! all my deſign’s ruin’d, and poor Ariana’s Heart broke: fiddle faddle, my Lord Bondi, this is nothing but thriftineſs, now the Fragments of the days Revels muſt ſerve for the Wedding Supper; no, no, old Gentleman, don’t miſtake your ſelf, we’l have another Feſtival for dear Ariana’s Marriage.

Bond

My Lady, you have a large rule in my Family, but in this Affair, upon my word, I’ll be Maſter.

Fid

My Veins with Kindling Rage are all on fire, what ſhall I do, my Ariana? I’ll meet and ſtab him as he enters.

Aria

Have a moments patience, he appears not yet.

Luc

What, muſt I loſe my new Servant, Madam?

To Lady Temptyouth.

La. Tem

So it ſeems, Child.

Luc

A welladay! but hang’t, while Fifteen has not overtaken me, I’ll never ſpoil my Face with grieving.

Oliv 32 E4v 32

Oliv

If I have any power, my Lord, I beg you wou’d oblige your weeping Daughter, in delaying this unwelcome Match.

Bond

Reſt aſſured you have no power with me, and all you ſay againſt it haſtens my Reſolves; uſe your Prayers and your Comands where you beſtow your Charms, I am cold, as I have ever found your Love.

Oliv

This ſhou’d be Jealouſie, but what can give him Ground for a Suſpicion?

Aſide.
Enter Gervatio.

Gerv

O, where’s my Lord?

Bond

Here; what’s the matter?

Gerv

Oh, my Lord, the worſt News, the ſaddeſt Accident! Oh! my Heart will break for the poor Gentleman.

Bond

What Gentleman? explain thy ſelf.

Gerv

Gentleman did I ſay? no, no, not a Gentleman neither, ’tis a Lord.

Aria

My Heart bodes Comfort.

Bond

Torture me no longer, dear Gervatio.

Gerv

That hopeful Sprig, oh! I can’t get it out, my Lord Inſulls.

Bond

What of him?

Gerv

Alas, the overflowings of his Wit has undone him: In ſhort, my Lord, ſome baſe Trappanners, Informers, of which this State ſwarms, ſent for him from this Company, and got out of him, that he made that curſed Libel, The preſent ſtate of Venice, which has ſo exaſperated the Duke and Senate, that they have reſolved to hang the Author.

Bond

Hang him!

Gerv

Ay, hang him, Sir; my Bowels earn for the young Bud of Quality.

Bond

What a Devil had he to do with Poetry, that Leproſies of lazy Minds, that Weed of Nature? Had he not Eſtate and Title? muſt he covet the Begger’s Entail, Parnaſſus Lands, and be damn’d to him? Plague conſume all the rhiming Fops in Chriſtendom.

Gerv

What, your worthy Son-in-law!

Bond

He makes me mad.

Fid

I cou’d worſhip thee, Gervatio.

Bond

I muſt be rude, and deſire the Company to break up, whilſt I go and try my Intereſt to releaſe this jingling Coxcomb.

The Gent

My Lord, we are all your humble Servants.

Gerv

You two go round, and you will find the back-door of the Garden open; when my Maſter’s gone I’le call ye.

Aſide to Andrea and Fidelio.

Andr

We’l be ready.

Bond

to the old Senator Come, Brother Senator, your company may be uſeful.

Exeunt all but Olivia, La. Temptyouth, Ariana, Lucinda, and Gervatio. Gerv. 33 F1r 33

Gerv

So Ladies, how d’ye like my Contrivance? Bondi may ſtir, but the duce a bit will he get his Lordſhip releaſed to night, and to morrow I have another Plot, which I hope makes my fair Miſtreſs happy.

Aria

Thou art my better Angel.

La. Tem

But my Ariana, won’t you give me leave to free my Lord, provided I take care he never troubles you with love again?

Aria

Ay, get him into the Bonds of Matrimony with Lucinda, and free him from his Priſon as ſoon as you pleaſe.

Oliv

Methinks ’tis pity the pretty Creature ſhouuld be condemn’d to ſuch a Fop.

Lucin

Oh, a rich Fool was alwaies my deſire, that I might ſhow my Diſcretion in managing him and his Eſtate.

Oliv

Nay, if you are pleaſed I am.

La. Tem

Come Child, we have many Irons in the Fire, there’s not a Senator but I have done a good turn for ſome time or other, and therefore I fear not ſucceeding.

Exeunt La. Temptyouth and Lucinda.

Lucin

Your Servant, Ladies.

Oliv

Yours.

Fidelio peeping.

Gerv

Come in Gentlemen, the old Enemy’s gone.

Enter Count Andrea and Fidelio.

Fid

Let me embrace thee, thou Soul of Ingenuity and Goodneſs.

To Gerv.

Oliv

Indeed Gervatio has proved juſt contrary to my Expectations; I hope as he has freed Ariana, if I crave his Friendſhip, I may obtain it; I am ſure you know what moves my Lord to uſe me ſo intolerably, that I can never meet a civil Anſwer.

Gerv

I own I know the Cauſe, but dare not tell ye, leſt it ſtartle ye too much.

Oliv

No, Gervatio, prithee ſpeak, for his brutal Carriage is paſt enduring.

Gerv

Then, Madam, my Maſter was never blind, pretended it, only to avoid the being Preſident of Dalmatia; conſider if you have urg’d him.

Omnes

Not blind!

Oliv

Then I am loſt.

Swoons.

Andr

Look up, Olivia, Danger ſhall never reach thee whilſt this Arm can weild a Sword.

Aria

Madam, your Apprehenſion is too timerous.

Fid

All here are your ready Friends.

Oliv

Oh, ’tis impoſſible, my Ruine is inevitable, the innocent Freedom I have given this young Lord, my Virgin Love, before my Husband Bondi, will be puniſht with nothing leſs than Death, Italy produces no milder Vengeance for ſuſpected Wives.

F Andr. 34 F1v 34

Andr

Harbour not a Thought ſo terrible; rather than be puniſh’d guiltleſs, fly Venice with your faithful Slave; to break forc’d Vows Heaven can never hold a Crime, my Life, and whatſoever I am Maſter of, is yours.

Oliv

Alas, how wild you talk! five noble Brothers adorn my Family, who wou’d purſue my guilty Steps, and piecemeal on this wretched Body hew out my Honours Stains and their Revenge.

Gerv

Faith Invention pours on me like a Deluge, for your Protection and endleſs Favour, I’le undertake to bring ye both off.

Oliv

Impoſſible.

Aria

What a mad Riſque our Sex runs when we plunge in real Guilt! what Pangs, what Agonies, what Terrors are the fatal Conſequence!

aſide.

Andr

Haſt thou Reaſon, Gervatio, for what thou ſay’ſt?

Gerv

I’ll ſerve you all, and, I do not doubt, ſucceſsfully.

Bondi within

Bond

Which Room is the Family in?

Oliv

I tremble, there’s my Lord.

Gerv

Away, Gentlemen, into the Garden agen, ſtay in the Grotto, I’ll be with ye preſently, and tell ye all my Deſigns.

Exeunt Andrea and Fidelio.

Fid

We’ll wait you there.

Gerv

Good Ladies, to your Cloſets, I would talk with my Lord alone.

Oliv

Come, dear Ariana, thou art happy in proſpect of thy love; if mine had been my Lot, theſe Miſchiefs ne’er had hapned.

Aria

I wiſh your mind at peace.

Exeunt Ladies. Manet Gervatio.

Gerv

Gad I have undertook Hercules’s labour, but the greater the Undertaking, the greater the Glory in the performance.

Enter Bondi.

Bond

Oh Gervatio! there’s no freeing of this Fool to night; where’s my damn’d Wife and Daughter?

Gerv

Gone to undreſs themſelves.

Bond

There’s no body with ’em.

Gerv

None but their Utenſils, their Chambermaids.

Bond

Gervatio, I hitherto have truſted thee with all the Secrets of my life, ſhrink not back when I diſcloſe the greateſt: My Wife has certainly abuſed me, her Relations are ſo numerous, that to expoſe her I ſhould run ten thouſand hazards, therefore I have reſolved ſilently and ſecretly to take her off by Poiſon, to ſtop my Shame and her future Sins.

Gerv

If it be ſo, my aſſiſtance ſhan’t be wanting; but, Sir, the Caſe is weighty, the Breath of life blown out, Repentance cannot kindle the dead Coal agen.

Bond

That’s true, but I am by all her wanton Carriages convinc’d, beſides a thouſand Circumſtances, ſhe’s guilty.

Gerv. 35 F2r 35

Gerv

Well, more to confirm your Suſpicion, I muſt confeſs I heard ’em appoint a meeting in the Garden about ſome three hours hence.

Bond

Oh, damn ’em, damn ’em.

Gerv

From the Balcony we may overhear and diſcovetr new Cauſe for your Revenge, or elſe find her innocent.

Bond

Innocence! ’tis not in the Sex, Eve, loſt it when ſhe lewdly liſten’d to the Fiend, and intail’d her guilt on her Poſterity.

Gerv

Have patience, and your own Ears ſhall either acquit or condemn her.

Bond

Nay, my Eyes have ſeen enough already. Well, Gervatio, I truſt to thee, and will be ready when you call me.

Gerv

Your Lordſhip ever found me faithful.

Exit Bondi.

If I do deliver theſe Ladies from all their Fears, I ought at leaſt to be eſteem’d a Knight Errant, and have it inſcrib’d upon my Tomb; Here lies a moſt puiſſant Hero: Pox on’t, what will rhime to Hero? No, it ſhall be thus: The generous Gervatio here lies dead, To whom for Aid diſtreſſed Damſels fled. Ay, ay, that will do: Now for my Garden-Sparks, my Inſtruments are Lords.

Exit.

The End of the Fourth Act.

F2 ACT 36 F2v 36

Act V.

Scene a Garden. Bondi and Gervatio appear in the Balcony, a Curtain to draw.

Bond

They are not come yet, but I’m ſure they will, for my Tormentor ſeem’d very uneaſie, and full of Thought.

Olivia and Andrea meeting.

Gerv

See, my Lord, they both appear.

Bond

Contagion ſeize ’em, Mildews and Blaſts deſtroy her Beauty, ſtamp her Face as deform’d as her Soul, for, a Plague on her, ſhe’s too handſom now.

Gerv

Nay, my Lord, if you are thus paſſionate, they’l hear us.

Bond

Hiſt, I have done.

Andr

Madam, I come to wait on your Commands, which, how ſtrange ſoever, blindly I obey.

Bond

A Pox of your Complaiſance.

Gerv

Pray, my Lord, be ſilent.

Bond

I am, I am.

Andr

When your Duty to your Father took you from my Wiſhes, and gave you to the noble Bed of Bondi, great were my pangs; I ſtruggled hard to conquer Love’s fierce Fires, and turn ’em into Friendſhip’s lambent Flames; ſtrong was the Conteſt, yet I overcame, and now can boaſt a Friendſhip to you and your Lord.

Bond

Pho, this is Diſſimulation.

Gerv

Hear ’em out, I am ſure they ſee not us.

Oliv

I knew your Friendſhip pure, elſe I had never truſted you ſo far; but my Deſigns are ended now, and my Lord grows very peeviſh; leſt your coming ſhould offend him, I beg you would forbear the Houſe, or any Opportunity of ſpeaking to me.

Andr

Madam, I will even in this fulfill your pleaſure; but you was pleaſed to promiſe, when you made that odd Requeſt, I would in appearance ſeem your Gallant, that you would ſome time tell me the reaſon of that innocent Deceit.

Bond

How’s this?

Oliv

I did, but ’tis a Secret, and I muſt have your Word and Honour, that neither Friend nor Foe extort it from you.

Andr

I give you both, nay, upon my Soul I will not utter it.

Oliv

Then know my Lord was never blind.

Andr

How!

Bond. 37 F3r 37

Bond

Ha, Gervatio?

Gerv

Sure ſhe’s a Witch.

Oliv

What is hid from loving Eyes? tho’ all the world believed it, I perceived the contrary, and often urged my Husband, tho’ not plainly contradicting what he ſaid, yet round about he might perceive I gueſs’d at it.

Gerv

Did my Lady ever hint ſhe thought you not blind?

Bond

At firſt ſhe was damn’d inquiſitive, which I ſtill thought ſhe did for her ſecurity in ſinning.

Gerv

It ſounds like truth: But huſh, they go on.

Oliv

Methought I had no Comfort of my Life, whilſt my dear Lord but ſeem’d under that Affliction; beſides, Heaven knows, I fear’d a real Judgment might befall him for his Counterfeiting, and ſo I plaid a thouſand tricks with you, thinking his Love ſoſtrong that he could not bear to ſee, and pretend not to ſee another invade his right in me? This is the ſtory, and this was my deſign, but my Lord by his own Contrivance now is himſelf again, and I renew my requeſt to ſee you no more, for conſidering paſt Actions, your ſight makes my Husband uneaſie. When I find him in a good humour I will acquaint him with my guiltleſs project.

Andr

And if he is not diſpleaſed I may hope to continue in the Enjoyment of your Friendſhip.

Oliv

Of that hereafter, but my Lady Temptyouth I reſolve to avoid, becauſe ſhe knew not the bottom of my deſign, yet was ſo free to forward it, my Lord your Servant.

Andr

Madam, yours; on this fair hand let me wiſh you everlaſting Happineſs.

Oliv

Remember ’tis your parting kiſs, and this indeed your eternal leave.

Speaking ſoftly.

Andr

My Love muſt mitigate that rigour, beſides, our Friend Gervatio has Imployment for me in the Houſe.

Oliv

By all my dangers (which I hope are paſt) I will no more endeavour or conſent to ſee you. Farewell.

Exeunt ſeverally

Gerv

What think ye now, my Lord?

Bond

Faith, I know not what to think, were I ſure you have not betray’d me, there may be ſome truth in’t.

Gerv

Who I, my Lord? Upon my life not I, why your Lordſhip knows I never could abide the Ladies; how many times have I made you angry with ’em. I’m ſure they hate me.

Bond

That’s true; if ſhe forbears his ſight I’ll forbear my revenge, tho’ the Letters and the Kises grumble in my Gizard ſtill.

Gerv

Pſhaw, only to carry on her Plot.

Bond

Well, I’ll believe it if I can, ’twill be moſt for my eaſe I am ſure— Come let’s in, I’ll write to the Duke for this Scribling Lord, tho’ in troth I am almoſt aſham’ to appear in’t.

Exit Bondi. BondGerv. 38 F3v 38

Gerv

Go thy ways Don Credulous; my drubbing will be reveng’d at laſt.

Exit. Scene, a Priſon. Enter to Lord Inſulls, Lady Temptyouth, Lucinda, and a Keeper.

La. Tempt

You ſee my Authority.

Keep

Yes, and obey it; the Priſoner is at your Service.

La. Tempt

My Lord, your Lordſhip’s humble Servant.

Inſ

O Heavens! your Ladiſhip and that brightneſs ſee me in this vile Condition, I don’t believe I have a Grain of Powder in my Wigg, the Villains that took away my Papers took my Mirrour alſo, becauſe ’twas ſet in Gold, now I couuld wiſh my ſelf in the darkeſt Dungeon rather than appear ſuch a Brute before thoſe reſiſtleſs Eyes.

La. Tempt

Alas, poor Girl, I am ſure ſhe never did any thing of this Nature before, but ſhe received ſuch a vaſt reſpect for your Lordſhip; your behaviour carries in it a ſhining Complaiſance ſo much above our dull Venetians, that no wonder it touched a tender Breaſt.

Lucin

I would ſerve the French if I met with any of the Nation in the Perſon of a Labourer or Beggar, and ſure when a Cavalier is in Affliction, who may juſtly boaſt of all the Accompliſhments of mankind, ’twill excuſe my breaking the ſtrict rules of Decency in giving him a viſit.

Inſ

I am Tranſported, ſuch ſounds are only fit for Angels to hear, Mortals cannot bear the Joy.

La. Tempt

Nay, ſhe has brought you a Preſent too, and I hope a welcome one, your Liberty.

Inſ

No, the Lady has brought me everlaſting Chains, by the Muſes (Confound the Oath, I cannot leave it) I’d not leave ’em to be free as Air.

Lucin

What means your Lordſhip, I am ſure I begg’d your Freedom heartily of my Uncle, the Duke.

Inſ

But your Eyes teach my Heart the pleaſing Bondage, which I deſire to Triumph for ever. Gad I ſay abundance of fine things.

Aſide.

Lucin

Your Lordſhip forgets, ’tis not Ariana you are talking to.

Inſ

No, if it were, every word ſhou’d ſtick in my throat, ſhe a dull Inſenſible, no Mein, no Air, no Song, no Dance, nothing agreeable.

La. Tempt

Oh, the abominable Fool! how he deſcribes the prettieſt Creature Nature ever made.

Aſide.

Lucin

Your Lordſhip cannot be in earneſt.

Inſ

By the Infernals, (Ay, they’ll do me leſs harm than the Muſes) But vaſt Fortune if I married her, which now I never will: ’Twas for her that my Equippage might have been the fineſt at the Court of Verſailles: My 39 F4r 39 My Coach drawn by ſix Barbs, ſix Blacks to every Horſe. The poor Creature my Wife I’d have confined to the Country with a pair of broken winded Jades and an old Faſhion’d Chariot.

Lucin

I don’t like your uſage of a Wife my Lord.

Inſ

She has us’d me ill and deſerves ſuch a return, but if your Ladiſhip wou’d think me worthy, Heavens! you ſhou’d ſhine the Glory of Verſailles; The Barbs be yours, and I the humbleſt of your Slaves. How fine is that, the Priſon ſure inſpires me.

Aſide.

La. Tempt

Nay, I can’t excuſe Ariana, for I doubt ſhe had more than a Finger in this troubleſome buſineſs, but my Girl’s too young to think of Love, tho’ I wiſh ſhe had never ſeen your Lordſhip; I know not what time may produce.

Inſ

Pardon my Preſumption; I had not broke upon the Lady ſo abruptly, but I am preſt upon by Fate, my Father to morrow arrives at Venice expecting me to marry Ariana? Cou’d I have hoped ſuch Happineſs as to have chang’d my Deſtiny and fixt here where all my wiſhes tend, my Father might ſtorm, but ’twou’d not be in his power to alter it.

Lucin

Oh Heavens, ſuch a concern ventur’d on ſo ſuddenly wou’d kill me with the Apprehenſion.

La. Tempt

Come, let’s leave this deteſted place and go to my Houſe, there we’ll conſider further.

Inſ

I wait on you, Madam, with unexpreſſible thanks for this Favour: I hope I ſhall hear of my people, that I may once again appear like a Man of Quality; not like a Rat ſhut up in a hole. I profeſs I am ſcarce fit to touch that fair hand.

La. Tempt

But indeed you are, my Lord! Lucinda.

Lucin

My Mothers Commands, my Lord.

Gives her hand. Exeunt. Scene changes to Bondi’s Houſe. He at his Table Sealing Letters, two Servants.

Bond

This to the Duke, this to Gonſalvo, I hope they’ll conſider my Lord’s a Fool, and releaſe him: He make the Libel! I found by his diſcourſe he made it no more than I did. Exeunt Servants He’s fooliſh ’tis true, but then he is rich and the fitter for a Husband.

Enter Olivia, and Ariana weeping.

Aria

Oh, Sir!

Oliv

Oh, my dear!

Bond

What’s the matter with the Women?

Oliv 40 F4v 40

Oliv

Alas, d’ye hear no noiſe in the Houſe?

Bond

Noiſe, what noiſe, not I.

Oliv

Why all your Moveables are ſeizing: Two Prieſts with Officers walk o’er the Houſe, nor will they be controul’d, proudly they march along and break open all the Locks, ſet down your Plate, your rich Hangings, and every thing of Value, my dreſſing Plate that was my Maiden Treaſure, that’s down too; Oh, oh.

Aria

Nay, as much as my Cold Bodkins, and all the Jewels I have on: I ſhall be a rich Laſs now! Oh, Heavens.

Bond

Ye amaze me, what can be the meaning on’t?

Aria

They’ll tell no body, but ſeem to have great Authority.

Bond

I am at my Wits end. Where’s Gervatio?

Enter Gervatio.

Aria

Here comes the ſorrowfull Man.

Gerv

Oh, that ever I ſhou’d live to ſee this day! ſuch Havock, ſuch Waſte there will be of my dear Maſters Goods, wou’d I were dead out of the ſight on’t.

Bond

Why Gervatio, is all the World mad? What is the reaſon of all this Outrage?

Gerv

I know not, but your Enemies are at my heels, I ſuppoſe they’ll acquaint you: Here they come, my Lord.

Enter Count Andrea, and Fidelio, diſguiſs’d like Friars, and their Servants like Officers.

Bond

Has Heaven nothing but Afflictions for this aged Head! Reverend Fathers what have I done to deſerve ſuch Uſage.

Andr

Officers give us the Inventory and retire: We will yet, reſpecting his grey Hairs, conceal his ſhame and crimes as much as poſſible: Brother will you lay the Enormous fault open before his hardned Soul.

Exeunt Officers and Ladies.

Fid

Your Eloquence will do it more feelingly Brother.

Andr

Excuſe me, indeed your Capacity is largeſt.

Fid

Pardon me, I am weak, very weak, compar’d to you.

Bowing to one another.

Bond

Ah, the Devil take ye both and your Civilities.

Aſide.

Andr

Then according to my poor Ability.

Bond

How I am tortur’d.

Aſide.
Andrea Coughing

Melito Bondi, Thou ſtand’ſt accuſed before the Duke and

and Hemming.

Senate, and his Holineſſes Nuncio, for ſuch a grand Deceit, for a Crime of ſuch a Nature, ſo black in it’s Root, ſo wide in its Branches, the Parent a lie, the Daughter’s Hypocriſie, Diſſimulation to the higheſt degree even to Perjury: Brother be pleaſed to diſcuſs.

Bond. 41 G1r 41

Bond

What will become of me.

Fid

Well, mayſt thou tremble, old man, who durſt affront Heaven in Counterfeiting blindneſs.

Bond

Ah, Lord!

Gerv

Ah, we are all undone.

Fid

But as one Crime ſeldom fails to pull a greater on, in thee, loſt man, we find the dire proof of all that’s ill; to reſtore this ſight which Heaven knows was never loſt, Silveſter’s Sacred Girdle muſt be fetched, and a Miracle pretended; but know the Saint needs not by your ſtudied lies, addition to his well eſtabliſhed Glory, ſince the curſt falſity has been broached, he has rous’d him in his Peacefull ſhrine and waked the Convent with his cries, Bondi’s a diſſembler, Bondi has done me wrong, Bondi muſt be puniſhed.

Bond

Worthy Fathers, behold at your Feet a Penitent, have pity on my loſtflawed-reproductionEſtate.

Fid

Fiſe, and hear us out: Brother, proceed.

Andr

For this Crime the Senate have decreed, the Nuncio too concurring, that thou Melito Bondi be ſtraight Deveſted of thy Lands and rich Poſſeſſion, thy Moveables, thy Debts, and whatſoever’s thine Confiſcated to the State, thy ſelf ſtill to remain a Priſoner for life.

Fid

The doom is mild and merciful, if thou hadſt fallen where the Inquiſition Reigns, through what variety of Torments muſt you have paſt, and for concluſion, died: Brother, will you urge any thing further.

Gerv

Good Reverendiſſimo’s, let me beg you ceaſe, ſee my poor Maſter is juſt expiring under the ſeverity of your cenſure: your ſelves, I am ſure, want refreſhing too.

Fid

Truly my Spirits are exhauſted.

Andr

I do perceive mine evaporate.

Gerv

Within I have prepared ſomething to ſuſtain nature.

Bond

Let me entreat ye Fathers to accept it.

Andr

Shall we venture to eat the Viands of the Hypocrite.

Gerv

For that matter I’ll be your taſter, pray walk in.

Fid

My Stomach calleth upon me to venture: Old Gentleman, we ſhall quickly return and examine your Papers.

Bond

What you pleaſe, I am humbled to any thing.

Fid

Complementing about the way Nay Brother, that will not do.

Andr

Upon my Veracity you ſhall.

Fid

By my order I won’t.

Andr

That’s Sacred; then I muſt.

Exeunt Gerv. and Friars. Re-enter Olivia and Ariana.

Oliv

How have you come off, my Lord.

Bond

E’en ſtript of all, naked in my old age, as when I firſt peept in this wicked world.

G Aria. 42 G1v 42

Aria

Ah me, Unfortunate.

Bond

Unfortunate indeed, bred high and not worth a Drachma, I doubt that handſome Face will tempt you to make the beſt on’t Ariana, and rather than live poorly Sacrifice thy virtue.

Aria

Think better of me, I’ll die firſt.

Bond

Why, that’s well ſaid, as for my Wife, ſhe I fear, has learnt her Trade already.

Oliv

Why muſt I ſuffer all theſe unkind ſuſpicions?

Bond

Nay, I forgive thee, be it now flawed-reproduction, and thou ſhan’t hear of it aflawed-reproduction ny more from me.

Oliv

Shall we go and intercede with theſe cruel Men.

Aria

I kneel, and beg, and pray as long as I can ſpeak for my poor Father.

Bond

Ay, you are wondrous kind.

Oliv

Come, let us try our power.

Bond

Hold, ye Fools, did ye ever know or hear of an Italian Prieſt let go his prey; no, no, my long hoarded Wealth is got into Huckſters hands, I may e’en bid farewell to all my poſſeſſions.

Enter Gervatio.

Oh, Gervatio, my Foes I know are ſtill innexorable, and my ruin reſolved.

Gerv

Yonder they are Nuckle deep in Sweet-meats, and have the beſt Wines the world affords before ’em, yet I perceive no ſigns of mollifying: My Lord, I would in private tell your Lordſhip what I have thought on.

Aria

If you pleaſe, Madam, we’ll in and do all we can wiſh for my Father’s deliverance.

Oliv

Ay, moſt heartily.

Exeunt Olivia and Ariana.

Bond

Ah, Gervatio.

Looking ſorrowfull upon one another.

Gerv

Alas, my Lord.

Bond

But who may I thank for all this, who was at the bottom of the blind Contrivance that has ruined me.

Gerv

And pray who would have thought a dead Saint would have diſturbed himſelf with telling tales.

Bond

Ah, I rather fear ’twas living Devils, ’tis no matter, I have reſolved in my Afflictions to ſubmit to every thing, and neither quarrel nor complain, though I diſcover thee and the Wife of my Boſom, two Serpents.

Gerv

A reſigning Will is a great bleſſing; for my own part, I am ſure the Innocence of a Dove is upon me, towards your Honour, even at this time, when you are ſuſpecting me, my poor Brain is in Labour for your good.

Bond

There’s neither help nor hope remain.

Gerv

Yet we may make the beſt of a bad Market.

Bond

My folly appears ſo plain, I am aſhamed to apply my ſelf to the Duke and Senate.

Gerv. 43 G2r 43

Gerv

I meant not ſo, that muſt be done hereafter, but you know my Lord, theſe Harpies have not yet examined your Papers, I am ſure they are tied by the Teeth for ſtirring one while: now if you dare truſt me I can take out Bonds and Mortgages, to the Sum of fifty thouſand Crowns, get it ſetled Firſt upon my young Lady Ariana, yet not let her know it, then it can give her no encouragement for diſobedience.

Bond

I thank thy care, Gervatio, and will inſtantly put them into thy hands, but, doſt hear, let the Lawyer put in ſome doubtfull Clauſe, that if I ſhou’d by any means eſcape, I may re-aſume my Right and Title to it again.

Gerv

I warrant you, my Lord, tho’ her name ſecures it from the Law, ſhe ſhall be ne’er the better for it.

Bond

Come, make haſte.

Gerv

My Lord, that way you’ll meet the Moabites.

Bond

ſtarting My Woes diſtract me, I ſcarce know where my Cloſet is.

Exeunt. Enter Olivia and Ariana.

Aria

So, Gervatio has work’d him to his Ends, ’tis a lucky fellow I proteſt, I hope Heaven will forgive me for conſenting theſe tricks ſhould be plaid with my old Father, ſince my end is honeſt and for the ſake of my Fidelio, who merits more than I can obtain for him.

Oliv

Why, the Sparks did it rarely, but I am ſorry Count Andrea has an opportunity of ſeeing me again.

Aria

Pho, there’s no harm in his ſight, you ſhould not fall to haſtily from one degree to another.

Enter Count Andrea and Fidelio, in their own Cloathes.

Here comes the Reverendiſſimo’s, as Gervatio call’d them: Does the Wheel of Affairs run ſmooth.

Fid

Upon Carpet ground my life, Gervatio has pick’d all the beſt of the Bonds, Mortgages, &c. and is gone to an Eminent Lawyer with ’em.

Aria

What have ye done with my Father.

Fid

Made bold to impriſon him in his own Cloſet, where he muſt remain during our Royal Pleaſure, and now, Madam, it reſts wholly in your generous breaſt to compleat my Happineſs; Gervatio has ſecured the Chaplain ours, if you conſent not to what indeed makes me giddy with the vaſt Joy, giving me your Beauteous ſelf, this very moment ſome ſiniſter accident in all probability will ruin our deſigns.

Oliv

Nay my dear Ariana you have gone too far now to ſhrink back, come we’ll be witneſſes.

G2 Aria. 44 G2v 44

Aria

Well, Fidelio, I will venture on this Bug-bear-Marriage, but if thou ſhouldſt prove ungratefull after all my obligations, what puniſhment doſt thou deſerve.

Fid

To be deſpiſed by the World, proclaim’d a Coward; and what’s yet greater be hated by youu.

Andr

Whilſt I behold another’s Happineſs, my wretched ſelf am baniſhed for ever from what my ſoul admires.

Oliv

How do ye know ’tis for ever young Gentleman? I may out live my Lord, then a brisk Widow weigh’d down with Bags, oh, ’tis an excellent Cordial for the younger branch of a Family.

Andr

Ay there is comfort in that thought, if you wou’d in the mean time allow me to ſee you; nothing leſs will preſerve my life till the rich Cordial comes.

Oliv

To preſerve my own I muſt deny that, for Gervatio tells me, my Lord was growing up to great extremities; your forbearance of any ſort of addreſs, I ſhall eſteem as a proof of your affection, but whilſt we are idly talking here, Fidelio views us with impatient Eyes, and longs to have his Joys ſecured; the Marriage over, I muſt beg your Lordſhip to retire, I would not have my Husband ſee you for the world.

Andr

Howe’er unwilling, thoſe commanding Eyes tell me I muſt obey.

Fid

Come, Ariana,

The Prieſt our hands, but Heaven our hearts ſhall join,

And endleſs raptures Crown me when I call thee mine.

Exeun. Enter Lady Temptyouth, Lord Inſulls, and Lucinda.

La. Temp

Well I never thought any Mortal cou’d have prevailed with me to have parted with this dear Girl at ſo ſhort warning, and withouut more conſideration, but your Lordſhips merit is irreſiſtible.

Inſ

I am bleſt in poſſeſſing her, puniſh me with the beaſtly Garb of the Vulgar, if I would be unmarried to be an Emperour. This viſit is in Triumph to let proud Ariana ſee what an excelling Beauty has made me happy. O my dear Cherubin, I can’t but think how the Court of France will admire my choice.

Lucin

Shall you like that.

Inſ

Covet it; I hope, Madam, you will rob the Ladies of all their Sparks, and the whole Gallantry of the Court be made to you.

Lucin

Nay, if your Lordſhip Glories in my Conqueſts, fear not, they ſhall be numerous, I never fail’d when I endeavour’d it.

Inſ

That’s true, for my hearts your prize, which, by the Muſes, is a Trophy not to be deſpiſed.

Enter 45 G3r 45 Enter Gervatio, with Parchment in his hands.

La. Temp

Gervatio, where’s the Ladies.

Gerv

Faith, Madam, my young Lady is commiting Matrimony, I believe, that ſweet meat that’s commonly attended with ſowre ſawce.

La. Temp

Is ſhe ſo, much Joy I wiſh her.

Gerv

I muſt to my old Maſter, get him to ſet his hand to theſe, and then I think this head has brought wonders to paſs.

Exit Gerv.

Inſ

Who is my Rival, ſome ill-dreſt Fellow Ill lay my life on’t.

Lucin

Even that robuſt piece of rudeneſs that accoſted your Lordſhip ſo odly, Count Fidelio.

Inſ

He, he, he, they are well matched, by the Muſes, I believe neither of ’em underſtand the French way of dreſſing ſo well as the Groom of my Horſes, he, he, he.

Lucin

Ariana always ridicul’d it, which has often broke Friendſhip between us.

Inſ

Heavens, if I had married her, what a world of labour wou’d it have coſt me to have modell’d her for the drawing room at Verſailles, whilſt you, my dear, at firſt ſight will appear the abſtract of Perfection.

Lucin

My Lord, you make me bluſh, but I ſhall now take unuſual care in my dreſs, that your Lordſhip may think me agreeable.

Inſ

Happy man, happy man, as ever put on the yoke of Matrimony.

Enter Olivia, Ariana, and Fidelio.

Fid

Ha, my Lord Inſulls, your very humble Servant, this is too tranſporting an hour to remember anger, now the dear Ariana’s mine, our Quarrel dies.

Inſ

I wiſh you Joy with her, I am provided as much to my ſatisfaction, be pleaſed to know the Duke’s Neice for my Wife.

Aria

Lucinda, the Dukes Neice.

La. Temp

Aſide to Ariana Hold dear Ariana, ſpoil not this day’s Mirth with a diſcovery, he’ll know it ſoon enough; beſides, I’ll make thee, poor Girl, worth more than that Fool deſerves.

Aria

I beg your Pardon, I am dumb. Madam, we muſt humour the greatneſs it ſeems.

to Oliv.

Oliv

With all my Heart.

Inſ

This is their Venetian breeding to whiſper half an hour: Poyſon me, my dear, if the very ſight on’t is not enough to ſpoil a Man.

Oliv

Joy to your honour, I thought you wou’d not have ventured to have changed your condition ſo ſuddenly.

Inſ

Your Ladyſhip might conſider the Man, and that would take your Wonder off.

Fid

Was ever any ſuch Vanity.

Enter 46 G3v 46 Enter Bondi, and Gervatio.

Bond

Then you ſay you’ve obtained I may walk about my Houſe till further order.

Gerv

Yes, my Lord.

Bond

ſees the Company Heyday, who have we here, nothing but meeting and revelling, this is a time indeed for Mirth!

Inſ

Old Gentleman, I am married, but not to thy Daughter, and for that reason will be merry in ſpite of thy beard.

Fid

Ariana kneeling And I am married to her, and for that happineſs ſhall be for ever joyfull.

Bond

Trick’d, Ruin’d, Undone; hold, not ruin’d neither, he has ne’er a Drachma, nor none he ſhall have.

Gerv

Then I muſt interpoſe; if you have no Bowels for ſuch a ſweet young Couple, I have had; my Lord Fidelio, here’s the value of fifty thouſand Crowns, come, that will make a ſhift till the old man pops aſide, or ſomething better happens.

Bond

Betray’d by Gervatio, I will run mad, I will grow diſtracted quickly.

Oliv

My Lord, if you did but ſee how ill ſuch ſtarts of paſſion ſuit your age, ſure you wou’d forbear.

Fid

Think, my Lord, my want of fortune may be made up in tenderneſs towards your Daughter, and duty towards your ſelf.

La. Temp

Come, come, my Lord, the Senate, no doubt, when they ſee him married to Ariana, will honour him with places of truſt and profit, a riſing Man ſeldom wants a hand to help him higher.

Bond

Let me conſider, all in this room have been my Foes, I think, every individual Perſon, for what cause, even becauſe I have been a croſs ſtingy old Captious fellow, but henceforth I’ll throw it away as faſt as the beſt of ye; Alas, I had forgot, I have nothing but Misfortunes, and am a wretched Priſoner Condemned to Shame and Poverty.

Gerv

All thoſe afflictions I’ll take off upon condition you’ll forgive your worthy Son and Daughter.

Bond

Do this, and we all are Friends.

Gerv

Then my Lord, be ſatisfied, the Duke nor Senate know nothing of your deceit, ’twas only a Contrivance of your humble Servant to oblige this young Lord and my Charming Miſtreſs.

Bond

Well, thou haſt proved a great Rogue, but I’ll keep my word.

Fid

Then I hope we ſhall not kneel again in vain.

Bond

No, take my Bleſſing, and as you prove, an Addition to her Fortune.

Fid

I have all my heart covets.

Aria. And 47 G4r 47

Aria

And my future life ſhall make amends for venturing once to diſobey my Father.

La. Temp

Now all’s well, I hope the Muſick I ordered will come that we may conclude our Joys with a Dance.

Inſ

By all means, let us have Muſick that I may have the pleaſure to ſee my Lucinda trip like a Fairy.

Oliv

My Lord, as this is a general Jubilee, I hope I ſhall partake it, and heart burnings being laid aſide we henceforth may live more quietly.

Bond

Yes, yes, according to your deportment, thou haſt been! Uh, uh, but I have promiſed to ſay no more.

Fid

Gervatio, I will always call thee Friend, and ſerve thee with my Life and Fortunes.

Aria

Nor will I forget to eſteem and reward thee.

Gerv

I hope you will ſay I have proved a well-meaning man to all, and my old Maſter forgive me.

Bond

Aye, aye, that I will for fear thou ſhouldſt play me any more tricks.

Lucin

Here’s the Muſick.

Dance

Bond

Now let’s in and taſte a Glaſs of Wine, I want ſome comfort after all my frights.

And may my Fate to each a warning give,

How they e’er love or practice to deceive;

For tho’ they proſper and their Cheat’s believ’d

With eaſe you ſee deceivers are deceiv’d,

The End.

Epilogue.

Spoken by Miſs Bradſhaw.

I’m ſent a ſmall Embaſſadreſs for Grace,

If there was power in ſuch a Childiſh face:

Who knows but artleſs innocence may move,

And looks unpractic’d ſometimes catch your Love.

Suppoſe it ſo, ’tis now, alaſs, too late,

Your liking me wards not the blow of fate.

A begging Epilogue’s a deſpairing Caſe;

’Tis asking mercy when the doom is paſt.

Part of this Play though ſtoln was lately ſhown,

And what was once expos’d to this Lewd Town

Tho’ twere improv’d with you ’twill ſcarce go down.

Yet 48 G4v 48

Yet ’twould be noflawed-reproduction or not flawed-reproduction be ſevere,

And what has been unjuſtly rifled ſpare;

For my ſake uſe her kindly once again,

Pray do, you good natured, fine, pretty Men,

Come, I ſhall grow a Woman e’er ’t be long,

’Tis but a little while we are too young;

And if Heaven on my youth does Charms beſtow,

I’ll lay out all the flawed-reproductionck in pleaſing you.

Let our wrong’d Author in your Favour ſhine,

And when you wiſh it, you ſhan’t fail of mine.

Epilogue:

Deſign’d for Mr. Verbruggen.

Now Britain’s raging wars are at an end,

Caeſar adorns the Throne he did defend;

Eternal Peace is fix’d, and all things ſmile,

To Crown the happy bleſſings of our Iſle:

From hence, we have encouragement to expect,

The Stage with nobler off’rings ſhall be deck’d;

For in paſt Ages Peace did Wit create,

And Poets flouriſh’d equal to the ſtate.

’Twas when the great Auguſtus rul’d in Peace

And all mankind from his enjoyn’d ſweet eaſe:

Ovid’s ſoft genius firſt began to pleaſe.

’Twas then the Lyrick Horace, Son of Fame,

Compil’d his works, immortal as his Name,

Soft caſe and quiet fancy did infuſe,

And Rome’s bleſt ſtate gave Birth to Virgil’s Muſe.

Oh, may our ſtate like that produce ſuch Men,

That from the crop of their luxuriant Pen,

Succeeding Ages may for ever glean.

Criticks their nature then ſhall alter quite

And what they fain would damn ſhall praiſe in ſpite

Poets no more in humble lines ſhall ſue

And creep and cringe to ſteal applauſe from you,

Nor beg for Favour where no Favour’s due:

No more ſhall ſenſe in fuſtian lines be loſt,

Nor dullneſs flouriſh at the Actor’s coſt.

Authors ſhall write with fancy unconfin’d

To Copy Nature and reform Mankind,

Then Wit and ſenſe ſhall here for ever dwell,

And Britain’s Stage ſhall Athen’s far excel.

Finis.